


Grounded

by AndiLand (AndiMarquette)



Category: The 100 (TV), clarke and lexa fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon LGBTQ Male Character, Commander Lexa, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Falling In Love, Fights, Intrigue, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Political Alliances, Romance, Sexual Tension, Sexy Times, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Stress, Tension, Threat of War, political machinations, skirmishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-07-18 06:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 75
Words: 511,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7302466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiMarquette/pseuds/AndiLand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin has been on her own for three months after pulling the lever at Mt. Weather. Battling ghosts and the pain from Lexa's betrayal at the mountain, she nevertheless has to return to Arkadia to warn Sky Crew of a threat from Ice Nation and the power-hungry Nia, who maneuvers on several fronts to install herself as Commander and rule all Grounder clans. But a new danger presents itself--one that will force a reckoning with an old foe--and Clarke and Lexa will have to work together to forge a stronger alliance as the winds of war swirl from Polis to Arkadia. Both understand the growing dangers and the peril hidden in alliances, but neither counted on the depth of the connection between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all!
> 
> True confessions. I've never posted fanfic publicly. Ermahgerd. Super nervous about it, and I'm owning that right now.
> 
> And now, housekeeping:
> 
> ONE: Let's get this out of the way here: This world is property of The 100. I'm just playing in it. Some of these characters are also property of the 100, and though I do use some of their action figures, I've brought some of my own along, too and turned 'em all loose to see what develops.
> 
> TWO: This fanfic started with some shorter novel-length chapters that got progressively longer by about chapter 35 or so. By the end, they're long-ass chapters. Heh.
> 
> THREE: I was really pissed off after the episode in season 3 that shall remain nameless, and I found myself re-working that season, and taking things in some different directions, with emphasis on the threat from Ice Nation and an old enemy rather than AI and obviously with Lexa with us throughout AND CLEXA IS ENDGAME. It's an S3 reboot, thus.
> 
> FOUR: This is a Clexa slooooooooowburn, with a bunch of chapters of buildup as the two of them realize what's happening with Azgeda and another danger, and that they're going to have to actually work together and be in the same room with each other eventually. Some scenes are in Clarke's POV, some are in Lexa's. I've also made up a bunch of characters and I've used Trigedasleng based on David Peterson.
> 
> FIVE: I've included numbered translations for phrases and words in Trigedasleng at the end of each chapter, so you can do a search on a number and you'll go right to its corresponding translation at the end of the scene. If I make up a Trigedasleng-ish word, I'll designate with an asterisk. I have also used the phonetic spellings of names when referring to a name and title in Trigedasleng. For example, Clarke of Sky Crew is "Klark kom Skaikru."
> 
> SIX: With regard to Nia, haiplana (generic term for "queen") of Azgeda (Ice Nation), I pulled a lazy card and shortened her title to "plana" throughout, which also works with regard to Peterson's "Azplana" (proper noun for Ice Nation queen). I may or may not use "haiplana" in some instances; Peterson's Trigedasleng seems to allow for some flexibility and shortening of terms and phrases, so I took a liberty here.
> 
> SEVEN: Because music is an important part of my life and writing process, I'm including some song titles with each chapter's notes. I often get requests for the playlists I use with some of my other works, so there you go. If you don't care or don't like them, just skip 'em.
> 
> EIGHT: You can find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com).
> 
> And with that in mind, this here is Chapter 1, in which Clarke ends up at Niylah's and finds out shit might be gettin' real with Nia and Lexa is having trouble with the coalition.
> 
> So a few songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Layne, "Good"; Mint Julep, "Slow Spiral"; Ben Phipps, "Alive"
> 
> Thanks, all, and hope you have a good time on this reboot. I appreciate comments and kudos, and I will respond to comments ASAP. Cheers!

Clarke hunched lower, and watched the figure from her vantage point behind a tree. He—she was sure her visitor was male—held his hand over the firepit but he’d find it cold because she hadn’t yet lit a fire this day.

He examined the area near the firepit where she had slept the night before and she knew he was trying to determine how long ago she’d been there. She scanned the area behind him and listened, though if he hadn’t come alone, chances were she wouldn’t have known. If Grounders didn’t want to be seen, they weren’t. She waited until he was nearly on top of her, within reach, and then she moved quickly and grabbed his wrist. She pulled with the same motion and he stumbled, surprised. She had her knife to his throat as he sank to his knees, his wrist still in her grip.

He tried to jerk his arm away but she jerked it right back. “ _Hod op_.” 1

He stopped moving and she recognized him, then, beneath the streaks of black paint and grime of travel. Zander, a _Trikru_ 2 teen who ran errands for Niylah when she required his services. Not even past fourteen, she’d guessed when she first met him at the trading stop, but Grounder teens and even children could be as formidable as adults.

She pressed the knife into his flesh. Not enough to bring blood, but enough to make him aware of the potential. “How many are you today, Zander?”

He used his free hand to slowly point at himself.

She tightened her grip on his wrist. It had to hurt, but he didn’t wince or flinch. “What do you want?”

“Niylah sent me.”

She stared hard at him, searching for confirmation of either truth or lie. She went with the former since she had no reason not to and she let go of his wrist, though she kept her knife positioned at his throat. He slowly moved his hands to his chest, and with the fingers of one hand, he touched a leather cord around his neck, some of it hidden within his shirt. She nodded and he slowly pulled it to reveal a carved bone pendant. It was one of Niylah’s.

She lowered her knife. “Why?”

“She has a message.”

Clarke waited.

“Two _gona_ came yesterday, but not to trade. They asked many questions about _Wanheda_.” 3

Warriors. She frowned. “Who were they?”

“ _Azgeda_.”

She was familiar with that term. Ice Nation. The thought came unbidden, of Lexa’s quiet words at a funeral pyre, about her loss of a woman named Costia at the hands of _Azgeda_. She gritted her teeth and willed images of Lexa to disperse. They never did. “What else did Niylah say?”

“The _gona_ said their queen has offered a higher bounty for _Wanheda_ , and that there are many more searching.”

“Why?”

“The power of _Wanheda_ ,” he said, as if it was entirely evident.

She straightened and sheathed her knife. She had left Mt. Weather to escape death, to escape her association with it and the events that led to the choice she’d had to make. But instead, the events of nearly three months ago hung around her neck, a weight she couldn’t shed, in the rumors of _Wanheda_ that swirled around her, the commander of death, who brought vengeance to the mountain and put an end to the grisly experiments within its depths.

“Niylah said you would be able to alert _Wanheda_.” He said it almost reverently and she looked at him, wondering if perhaps he had lost someone to the mountain or if he only carried the growing folklore around because it held romantic appeal.

There is no romance in death, she wanted to tell him. There is nothing even remotely redemptive about flooding Mt. Weather with radiation and watching people of all ages die in the onslaught, their blistered and bubbling skin still the stuff of her nightmares, still the reminder of Lexa’s betrayal.

She hated the memory. Hated thinking of Lexa’s choice. But she hated more that deep within, she knew she would’ve done the same thing Lexa had—did do the same thing, when she killed so many to save her people. She understood Lexa on levels she knew the Commander understood her, but she was not ready to either face that or dissect it.

“Go back to the trading stop,” she said. “Tell Niylah you delivered the message.”

He nodded once and tucked the necklace back into his shirt. “Careful, nameless one. Niylah says there are many _Azgeda_ in search of the bounty. Others, too.”

“ _Mochof_.” 4

He nodded again at her expression of thanks and moved quickly into the forest.

She was a two-hour walk from Niylah’s, and a half-day’s walk from the nearly buried structure where she’d been living since she walked away from Arkadia, drained, either incapable or unwilling to bear the weight of Mt. Weather.

“Some leader,” she muttered, surprising herself with the sound of her voice with no one else to hear. She’d grown used to external silence, a strange counterbalance to the interior voices of the ghosts she’d brought from the mountain. She’d lived mostly in silence for weeks, coming to an appreciation and understanding of why and how Grounders communicated within it so well. Wasted words were wasted breath and wasted effort and could mean the difference between life and death. There was beauty in silence, in the subtexts within it, and in the way a glance communicated so much more than a sentence, in the way an expression conveyed intent.

She thought again of Lexa, but then, she was never free of thoughts of her. Lexa’s expressions were often guarded and spare on the surface, but Clarke guessed the depths behind them, and it made her all the more angry that she couldn’t bring herself to hate her. Anger fueled Clarke’s physical survival, but it devoured her emotional reserves. Part of her penance, maybe. She bit her lower lip hard enough to draw blood, and the taste of it always helped with the memories because every drop she spilled was another payment for what she’d done.

Did Lexa carry ghosts? Did she ever regret her decisions? And had she ever really cared, after the soft but hungry kisses in her tent a few months ago? Had she really cared after Mt. Weather’s missile decimated Tondc, when Lexa pulled Clarke with her?

Had she ever really cared, or was Clarke just another cog in Lexa’s political machinations?

She spat blood from her lip onto the forest floor and kicked dirt over it with the toe of her boot, trying to ignore the cold, hard pain in her chest when she thought of Lexa on the mountain. Instead, she focused on skinning the rabbits she’d caught earlier that day, scraped the pelts, and wrapped the flesh in them.

Two hours to the trading stop was a better prospect than the trip back to her shelter. She had colored her hair as dark as she could get it, using charcoal and ash, and she streaked her face along her cheekbones the way some Grounders did, but she avoided extended contact with most because she didn’t speak the language very well yet, and that marked her as _Skaikru_ faster than anything else.

Clarke placed the rabbits in a burlap sack and slung it across her shoulders next to her pack so she could move easily and followed the direction Zander had gone, along a game trail, settling easily into the quiet rhythms of the forest, and the constant companionship of her memories.

  
1 _Hod op_ : stop  
2 _Trikru_ : Tree Crew; Woods Clan  
3 _gona_... _Wanheda_ : warrior/warriors...commander of death; descriptive of Clarke after Mt. Weather  
4 _Mochof_ : Thank you

###

She’d been watching the trading stop for a while. Time didn’t mean much anymore, though Clarke still carried a wristwatch next to her heart, on a leather thong. The only thing left of her father’s that she had. It no longer worked, and it might’ve been absurd that she still carried something that no longer functioned with its intended purpose, but it did still function as a tie, however tenuous, to him. It helped her remember beyond the last image she had of him, ejected out the airlock of the Ark, gone before she even had time to register his presence in front of the doors.

She felt its weight now, along with that of three hundred lives at Mt. Weather. She didn’t have the luxury of a disappearance in an instant at the mountain, and instead she saw those people linger, heard them scream, watched her people in the room with the residents of the mountain stand helplessly by, knowing she had pulled the lever.

The underbrush hid her, but she was uncomfortable so she shifted and winced as her muscles protested and the healing wound on her back itched beneath her shirt. She’d gotten that almost two weeks ago, when she brought a panther down. Niylah had patched her up initially, and showed her how to skin it. Clarke was lucky she’d stumbled upon the trading stop her first couple of weeks in the forest and that Niylah kept her own counsel. Since then, Clarke tried to provide her meat and pelts as payment for helping, but she wondered if it would ever be enough to balance the price exacted by the blood on her hands.

The sun hung low, and with nightfall came some safety from prying eyes, but new threats from others—animals that hunted at night, whether human or not. The trading stop stood ten yards distant, carved out of the forest, its external structure low-slung and organic, as if parts of the forest had uprooted themselves and rearranged themselves into the building’s curved ribs and roof and the labyrinthine array of smaller structures and objects that Niylah and her family had accumulated over the years. A few miles beyond lay a sweeping plain Clarke hadn’t tried to cross yet. Beyond that lay the Ice Nation and she had no interest in going there.

Lexa had lost someone dear to Ice Nation, and she thought of that often, too. It added to the mystery that was Lexa, that she could be heartless but vulnerable, cruel but caring. She pushed hair out of her face. Not such a mystery, perhaps, because she had known from the moment she’d first met her that they shared commonalities. Both thrust into positions of leadership young, both willing to do whatever they must to ensure the safety of their respective people, both willing to work together—to a point, in Lexa’s case—toward a common goal.

The horse outside the trading stop jerked its head up, as if it heard something. Clarke watched it, and it relaxed after a few moments, its tail flicking at its hindquarters to ward off insects. This horse didn’t exhibit any overt signs of radiation-caused mutation, but she knew that exteriors didn’t always tell the whole story.

Which took her back to Lexa. She should be annoyed, that the Commander dominated her thoughts so much, but the truth was she preferred thoughts of Lexa—even her betrayal—to the memories of Mt. Weather. And if she was being honest with herself, thoughts of Lexa kept her anchored, kept her focused. Kept her from completely losing herself to the mountain.

Finally, the last of the Grounders she’d seen go into Niylah’s since she had burrowed into her hiding place left. The Grounder mounted her horse and headed west, deeper into the interior of the forest along the smooth track that decades of foot- and horse-travel had pounded into the soil.

Clarke waited longer, until Zander emerged from the structure and started jogging in the same direction as the horsewoman. She watched until he was out of sight, until she heard nothing beyond the breezes and calls of birds and then she stood, stretched, and moved quickly to the post’s front entrance, which faced away from her, marked by two huge logs that curved and tapered toward their tops, creating an archway beneath which visitors passed to access the door, weaving between tables stacked with a variety of objects.

“ _Heya_ ,”5 Clarke said at the doorway. She always appreciated the trading post’s comfortable interior, like the interior of a barrel cut in half. Shelves lined its walls, and many of them held pelts, clothing, weapons, and many other things that would no doubt find use with someone.

Handmade and rustic furnishings somehow made the space welcoming, in their mismatched cheerful clutter. So different than the sterile, angular, and bare spaces of the Ark that had defined Clarke’s existence up until just a few months ago.

Niylah turned, surprised, her expression framed in the lean features of her face and the long light brown tresses and braids of her hair. She wore the comfortable leather trousers of Grounders tucked into boots and a loose overshirt the color of wet earth.

Clarke held the burlap sack up. “What can I get for these?”

Niylah took it and glanced inside. “A meal,” she said with a smile. “Why have you come, nameless one? Zander delivered my message and still you are here.” Concern flashed in the shifting gray-green of her eyes.

She shrugged. “Why has the Ice Nation increased the bounty?”

“Mmm,” Niylah said. “When did you last eat?”

She hesitated. Yesterday? She wasn’t sure, and Niylah shook her head.

“As I thought. Talk later.” She took the bag with the rabbits and moved to a table constructed of part of a tree trunk cut in half lengthwise. She started chopping the rabbits up with a knife in quick, practiced motions, the muscles in her forearms flexing. Clarke set her pack down and watched. Niylah had taught her a few things about hunting and skinning that supplemented the Earth skills she’d learned on the Ark, but she learned a lot by observing, too.

After she finished, Niylah checked the pelts. “Good,” she said with a smile at her as she ran her fingers along the scraped underside, indicating that Clarke had done a better job than last time at scraping them clean. She submerged the pelts in a pot of what Clarke knew was salted water and then placed the pieces of meat on charred metal skewers. She left them on the table and went out back to a firepit. Within a few minutes, Niylah had a fire going. Clarke knew that once it had collapsed into embers, she would grill the meat. The thought made her salivate. She hadn’t had meat in a few days, and she was hungry. Tired, too.

So damn tired.

Niylah handed her a large swath of cloth and a piece of rough soap. She took them without question and went outside to a battered metal wash basin. Niylah filled it from a nearby stream every day, so the water was always fresh. She stripped quickly in the twilight and washed up as best she could, leaving her hair alone. Grounders kept their hair clean, too, but she couldn’t risk washing the makeshift dye out.

She stood in the growing darkness, the night air caressing her, raising goosebumps on her flesh, and she thought about the night she’d spent in the forest with Lexa after the _pauna_ 6 attack, about Lexa’s expression when she refused to leave her, though injured, to the beast’s rage.

Clarke needed her then, and she’d told her as much, said that though Lexa may be heartless, she was smart, and if an alliance was going to work, Lexa had to be alive. Clarke didn’t tell her that she needed her in other ways, that the knife’s edge of Lexa’s spirit had slid cleanly through Clarke’s emotional defenses, and grafted itself gently onto the wounds within that both marred and defined her. No, she didn’t say that then, but Lexa had studied her for a moment, and then allowed her to help.

Even injured, Lexa had kept watch that night, and Clarke had slept for a few hours, slept without dreams or fear, for the first time since she’d come to the ground, deriving comfort from Lexa’s presence even in the unease between them. Now, she took comfort from the memory of Lexa’s lips on hers, and in the knowledge that Lexa had respected Clarke’s need to deal with loss.

Her knuckles hurt from gripping the cloth so hard. How could she feel so safe and so emotionally vulnerable at the same time around someone? How was it that Lexa had burrowed so deeply under her skin in so short a time? That she was both pleasure and pain in Clarke’s heart, both the question and the answer?

She dressed in her clothing, which needed a washing too, but she didn’t want to take the time. She smelled the hot tang of cooking meat and went back to the firepit, where Niylah sat on her haunches, tending the meat. She had positioned the skewers on the stones that ringed the embers, and she reached to readjust one. The coals hissed as juices from the meat dripped onto them and Clarke’s mouth watered. She went inside and hung the drying cloth on a peg inside and returned the soap to the shelf where Niylah kept it.

A few minutes later Niylah handed her a skewer and Clarke took a careful bite and made a contented noise as she sat on the ground next to her. She took another bite, careful not to burn her lips.

“There are many warriors about,” Niylah finally said. “It is not safe for you here.”

She swallowed. “What do they want?”

“ _Wanheda_.”

“That hasn’t changed in days. Why are there more of them now?”

Niylah poked at the embers with a stick and picked up another skewer. She examined the meat and handed the skewer carefully butt-end to her.

She chewed. The meat was hot in her mouth, a little tough, but so good.

“ _Heda_ 7 works to unite the twelve clans,” Niylah said, “but _Azgeda_ seeks something else.”

Clarke stopped chewing at the mention of the Commander’s title in the language of the Grounders.

“Uniting the clans?” She watched Niylah’s face, wondering where she got this information, and why Lexa would engage in such, given the Grounder penchant for conflict.

“ _Sha_.” 8 She nodded once with the affirmative. “We are too long apart, always warring. _Heda_ seeks to change that, to create one out of many.”

Clarke’s throat felt tight, and the surrounding forest seemed to close in even tighter. “What of the Sky People?” she asked after a few seconds.

Niylah held her gaze. “I do not know. Zander has told me that he sees warriors from Arkadia in a vehicle that goes much faster than horses. They search for more Sky People, perhaps.” She gave her a pointed look and Clarke glanced away, and took another bite of meat. She’d never told Niylah who she was, but Niylah knew, had probably known since the first time they’d met a few weeks ago, since Clarke didn’t speak much Trigedasleng.9 For whatever reasons, she kept the secret.

Clarke finished the last piece of meat on the second skewer. “Will the Commander seek an alliance with the Sky People?”

Niylah took the empty skewer and handed her another. “ _Heda_ will do what she must for the clans.”

Of course she would. Her stomach clenched.

“If the Sky People wish to unite with _Heda_ , she will welcome it,” Niylah added.

Clarke started on the fresh skewer. “How do you know that?”

She was silent for a long moment and she stirred the embers a bit more. Clarke chewed, waiting. The embers popped and shot a geyser of sparks into the darkness.

“Things are different now,” Niylah said. “ _Heda_ knows this. She knows the mountain has changed things, and created opportunities. She also knows it has created new problems. She will seek to exploit the one and solve the other. If an alliance with the Sky People will help with either of those, she will thus welcome it.”

Clarke finished the meat on the skewer and stared into the remaining embers. “That doesn’t mean she’ll honor it,” she said, barely above a whisper.

“She will do as she must.” Niylah took the skewer. “If the Sky People join with the twelve clans, then they are also her responsibility, and a slight to the Sky People is a slight to all clans.”

“Why doesn’t she just gather all the clans and force the Sky People to do what she wants?”

Niylah picked up the remaining skewers of meat. “There would be no loyalty from the Sky People in such circumstances."

 _Like the loyalty I offered that meant nothing to her at the mountain_? Clarke clenched then unclenched her teeth. “What problems did the mountain create?”

Niylah stood in a smooth, graceful motion. She held both empty skewers and those still laden with meat. “ _Azgeda_ seeks to challenge _Heda_.”

Clarke stared up at her in the fire’s dying light. “But they’re part of the twelve clans.”

“ _Plana_ 10 Nia leads _Azgeda_. She seeks _Wanheda_ as an example of her might. If Nia can control _Wanheda _, she can control _Heda_.”__

Queen Nia, Clarke automatically translated in her head. The woman responsible for Costia’s death. “I don’t understand.”

“ _Wanheda_ is the commander of death. _Wanheda_ did to the _Maunon_ 11 what we have never been able to do. She freed the clans forever, helped put an end to the Reapers and allowed us to honor our dead. This power—this is what Nia seeks.”

A chill that had nothing to do with the night air slid over Clarke’s skin. “There is no power in pulling a lever."

“There is power in symbols. Nia will control the Sky People if she has _Wanheda_ , and she will not keep an alliance with the twelve clans. She will then challenge _Heda_ , and there are those who question her leadership, since she seems to be seeking peace through alliances.”

The chill deepened. Clarke stood, feeling suddenly sick. “How do you know this?”

“I listen.”

She stared into the dark, the weight of responsibility and guilt crashing around her shoulders. She had turned her back on Arkadia. Turned her back because she couldn’t face those who had lost friends, allies, and more among the Mountain Men. Couldn’t face the monster she’d unleashed within herself. But in the wake of that, and in the strange evolution of rumors and folklore that had created of her something she never sought, Arkadia needed her.

So, too, did Lexa.

She wasn’t sure which of those thoughts scared her more, and it hit her, then, that her fate and Lexa’s were bound together after Mt. Weather, in the cruelest irony, though she had no control over the legend that had come to define the mountain. Or maybe she did. Maybe had she not run away, had she stayed at Arkadia and worked to build an alliance with Lexa, the legend would never have started. Perhaps her disappearance had fueled it, fed the flames lapping at _Trikru_ ’s doors.

She should have felt a surge of self-righteous anger, should have taken some satisfaction in Lexa’s shifting fortunes. She didn’t. Instead, she felt the press of Lexa’s lips on hers, saw the resigned admission of affection in her eyes after Tondc,12 and remembered the quick and rare smiles she shared in the uneasy coalition between _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_.

Until the betrayal at the mountain.

But Clarke understood, somehow. She hated that she did. Wanted to hate Lexa. Wanted to, but couldn’t. Not for lack of trying. As angry as she was, as hurt as she felt, she understood. And that made her ache even more, because unlike Lexa, she had turned her back on her own people.

It was time to return to Arkadia. As broken as she was, she had a duty to fulfill, and it wasn’t to the past, no matter how hard the past tried to bind her.

“It is not safe out here, nameless one,” Niylah said after a while, after allowing Clarke time to think. She motioned toward the structure with her chin and Clarke saw the motion in the light of the remaining embers.

She nodded and used the rest of the water in the wash basin to drown the embers before she went inside. Niylah had already stored the remaining meat, and she was busy cleaning the table.

“You are tired,” Niylah said softly when she entered. It wasn’t a question, and Clarke appreciated the simplicity of the statement. She nodded and Niylah held her gaze for a moment. “You are welcome to stay.”

That was a risk for Niylah, and she appreciated that, too. “Thank you,” she managed before she moved into the nook that Niylah’s bed occupied. She took her boots off and slid out of her pants and removed her jacket, appreciating the way Grounders used strategically placed candles for light. Never harsh, always warm. Like Lexa’s smile, when she showed it. Clarke’s chest felt as if a vise had clamped around her ribs.

“Sit,” came Niylah’s quiet voice behind her.

She did, cross-legged, on the bed. Nia carefully raised Clarke’s shirt to look at her back. “Much better,” she said and then she moved away and Clarke heard what sounded like water being squeezed out of a cloth.

It was. She winced as Niylah carefully unwound her underbindings and cleaned her back and she was glad, because she couldn’t reach it.

“Thank you,” she said again.

“Mmm.” Niylah worked on her back for a while, the cloth moving with gentle, relaxing strokes and Clarke felt her eyelids droop.

“Zander lost his mother to the _Maunon_ ,” Niylah said softly after a while. “And his father as well, because he tried to bring her out.”

Clarke tensed as the cloth moved lightly near the scabs on the claw marks the panther had left on her shoulderblade. “You took him in?"

“His father was one of my brothers. I help as I can.”

She didn’t respond.

“We do what we must,” Niylah said as she moved to rinse the cloth out and Clarke thought again of Lexa, of her unwavering commitment to her people and the decisions she made with regard to them. And then she thought of the moment Bellamy’s hand covered hers in the control room at Mt. Weather and they pulled the lever together, though Clarke bore the decision herself. She had made that choice, too.

She closed her eyes as Niylah continued working on her back. It had been a long time since she’d allowed contact like this. “There were others at the mountain who made it possible to free the Grounders. _Wanheda_ wasn’t the only one there,” she said.

“And all made it possible for Wanheda to stop the _Maunon_ ,” Niylah countered. She stopped moving her hands across Clarke’s back. “Thousands died in the mountain. Many others died or suffered in the acid fog. _Wanheda_ put an end to that.”

Clarke clenched her teeth, seeing the images on the monitors, all the people gasping for breath, screaming and groaning, skin erupting in blisters—“I can’t talk about this.” Her throat clogged with tears, clogged with loss and anger, though she wasn’t sure anymore what she was angry about.

“From death comes life.” Niylah gently squeezed her shoulder and moved away, probably to finish cleaning up. Clarke curled into a fetal position on the bed, staring at the wall. She dreaded sleep but needed it desperately, and she wondered if it had been Lexa rather than Niylah who carefully lay down next to her a few minutes later if she’d be able to rest, finally, safe in the blunt honesty of Lexa’s choices.

Still, she welcomed the feel of Niylah’s warmth against her back, and the comfort she offered should Clarke want it. She let herself relax, if only for a little while, within the circle of Niylah’s arms, knowing that the ghosts would come this night, like every other. But maybe in the wake of her decision, they’d grant her a few hours of peace.

  
5 _Heya_ : hi, hello  
6 _pauna_ : gorilla (big-ass giant mutant gorilla!)  
7 _Heda_ : leader -- generally used for all leaders, but an honorific -- capitalized -- always applies to Lexa in her role as Commander  
8 _sha_ : yes  
9Trigedasleng: The language of the Grounders that originated with Tree Crew, though to have been developed as a way to mask their actions from Mountain Men  
10 _plana_ : queen [Azgeda title, not used among other clans] _Skaikru_ : Sky People, Sky Crew; those from the Ark  
11 _Maunon_ : Mountain Men; Mt. Weather residents  
12Tondc: A village near what was Washington, D.C. Pronounced "Tone-dee-cee" 


	2. Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a close call at Niylah's, Clarke has to bail. She heads for Arkadia to try to get Sky Crew on board with Woods Clan/Lexa against Ice Nation. Meanwhile, Lexa confronts the Ice Nation clan rep and ambassador in Polis.

Clarke snapped awake before dawn, breathing heavily. Her jaw ached. She’d been clenching her teeth in her sleep, but she didn’t remember the specifics of the dreams. Niylah wasn’t in bed any longer and Clarke put her chest bindings and shirt back on. She heard the stamp and snort of horses outside, and voices and she froze.

She shouldn’t have stayed. She’d endangered Niylah. She dropped to the floor and crawled under the bed. The front door opened and she barely had time to drag her boots and pack with her.

A male voice broke the quiet inside, speaking Trigedasleng, but with harsher intonations than Niylah and other _Trikru_ used. Clarke picked out a few phrases, and she was glad she’d chosen to hide, because she heard the word _Wanheda_ a few times, along with Niylah’s measured responses. She would cover for Clarke, which made Clarke feel even more guilty for leaving Arkadia. Had she not done that, Niylah would not be in this position.

The man said something else and then the door closed. She waited, not moving, not even breathing.

“He is gone,” Niylah said, and then she was crouched by the bed, looking at Clarke. She nodded. “A wise decision. He was _Azgeda_.”

She crawled out from under the bed. “What did he want?”

Niylah cocked her head and gave her a thin smile. “ _Wanheda_. I told him that there had been a strange woman here two days ago who didn’t speak much, but she didn’t stay long.”

Clarke pulled her boots on. “Which way did this strange woman go?”

“Due north, into the forest.”

Arkadia lay west-northwest. Niylah had bought her some time. “Thank you.” She extended her right arm and they gripped forearms.

Niylah nodded and released her. “For what you did, I can never repay you.”

She winced internally at Niylah’s words, at the gratitude she didn’t think she deserved. “You’ve helped me more than you know. If there’s anything I can do for you in the future, get a message to Clarke at Arkadia.”

Another smile tugged at Niylah’s lips, as if she’d known all along that Clarke would be making this decision. “ _Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim_.” 1

She nodded. “May we meet again.” She pulled Niylah into a brief hug, picked up her pack, and left via the back door. The longer she stayed, the more danger to Niylah, and as messed up as Clarke was, the thought of anyone else paying for something she’d done—for any more of her mistakes—made her almost physically ill.

She moved quickly into the forest to the game trail that had brought her here yesterday. It took her deeper into the forest for a mile, give or take, until it met another game trail that swooped west, parallel to the more traveled track that connected Niylah’s to a few Grounder villages. Other tracks connected those villages to Polis, the Grounder capital, which she hadn’t seen, though thinking about it made her think about Lexa. But then, everything did. Lexa was embedded in her memories, wound into her waking moments and the battles she fought every night with the past.

It was at least a day’s walk to Arkadia, maybe more, so she quickened her pace. If Niylah was right and the rumors she’d heard indicated that Nia was planning a move against Lexa, Clarke had to convince Arkadia to ally with the Commander, for everyone’s safety. Otherwise, they’d be caught in another war between Nia and Lexa, and she could guess the kind of hell that would entail.

She stopped long enough to fill the filter bottle in her pack from a stream, and stared a few moments at the cloth packet that she hadn’t put in her pack. Meat from last night. Clarke wrestled with whether she deserved Niylah’s kindness, and reluctantly accepted it, because Niylah, at least, believed that good had come from events at Mt. Weather.

Clarke drank from the bottle, filled it again, and shouldered her pack. When she put more distance between herself and the trading post, she would eat. The farther away she was, the safer for Niylah, especially with Ice Nation warriors asking questions. She focused on the sounds of the forest, on the calls of birds and the sighing of wind in the upper canopies.

Sunlight filtered through the trees and she breathed deeply, smelling damp soil and the tang of tree bark. She’d never take this for granted, after the Ark. Every breath of air on the ground was a feast of sensation, no matter the dangers she’d encountered. If nothing else, experiencing the kind of liberty here on the ground after nearly two decades in orbit had demonstrated how precious life was. Every life she’d sacrificed at the mountain for the lives she’d saved was a grim reminder of that. Whose life was more precious? And what gave her the right to make that decision?

She grimaced.

Nothing gave her the right. Circumstances dictated the decision, and she’d made it, seeing her mother writhing on the exam table as the Mountain Men drilled into her without any kind of numbing agent. Seeing Raven suffer the same way. Seeing the lives of her people—those who had come to the ground—ending beneath the tip of a marrow drill forced her hand.

Lexa would have done the same thing.

And she had, in a way.

She slowed, allowing herself a bit of a rest since she hadn’t eaten since the night before, and her energy was flagging. Maybe she was punishing herself, with her extended periods of hunger and silence. What purpose did that serve? She was needed, though she knew she wouldn’t be welcomed by all at Arkadia. There were those who would never forgive her for what happened at the mountain, and in another supreme case of irony, she admitted that she would no doubt find more acceptance among the Grounders now than she ever could among her own people.

But she had to try. She had to start somewhere to forge an alliance between Arkadia and Polis. If she didn’t, then everything that happened at the mountain was for nothing.

And in spite of what Lexa had done, Clarke’s actions had enabled an opportunity for peace between the clans and, ultimately, Arkadia. She had to help Lexa realize that opportunity. Besides, if anyone had earned the right to kick Lexa’s ass, it was Clarke. And she wasn’t about to let anybody else have that honor—least of all Nia. She took another couple of swallows of water and picked up her pace again.

  
1 _Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim_ : may we meet again

###

“Tell me, _Bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_ ,2 how it is that a war party from your nation is camped within a quarter-day’s walk from _Trikru_ territory.” Lexa gazed down at the ambassador from the Commander’s chair on the dais, its form a tangle of twisted branches worn smooth and dark from its years of use. Fitting for Woods Clan, whose birth members derived their lives, livelihoods, and very essences from the forests in which Polis and the villages within its purview existed. Not so fitting for _Azgeda_ , who dwelled in a land of windswept hilltops and ridgelines.

Jos remained on one knee. “I have no knowledge of such, _Heda_.” She looked up, and sunlight from the window behind Lexa fell across Jos’s face, accentuating the facial scars of her homeland. Her hair, pale blond and interwoven with the braids of her people, was pulled back from her face.

Here, in Polis, the ambassador from Ice Nation was at a disadvantage, and not only because the room held representatives of the council of clans and ten of Indra’s warriors. Nia had sent Jos to Polis under the auspices of diplomacy, knowing full well that Lexa would have to honor such a visit under the agreement of the _kongeda_. 3 A breach of it absent an egregious slight or proven treason would provide an opening for Nia to further challenge Lexa’s position.

Lexa understood Nia’s manipulations. But she also knew that Nia had a tendency to underestimate her targets. Jos rose from her knee and stood, hands clasped in front of her. She was dressed casually, and wore no armor.

“Your _plana_ engages in such maneuvers without informing her ambassador?” Lexa asked, her tone dispassionate. Those gathered seemed to hold a collective breath. Indra stood on the floor to Lexa’s right, her features as still and solid as hard, dark granite, hand on the hilt of the sword that hung at her hip.

Jos’s gaze glanced off Lexa’s and returned to a space on the floor. Lexa’s question implied that Nia was in breach of diplomacy and her ambassador was not serving in that capacity, removing Jos from immunity.

Lexa remained impassive in the silence, and watched as a line of perspiration appeared at Jos’s hairline.

“Perhaps I have not yet received word,” Jos said, but her voice did nothing to relive the tension.

“ _Heda_ , I have not received word, either.”

Lexa turned her head to the _Azgeda_ clan representative, a thick, burly warrior with close-set eyes and a beard he kept trimmed close to his skin, in contrast to his wealth of hair and braids. He bowed his head in a quick acknowledgement of her title, but she knew him as a pawn of Nia. “I did not seek your opinion, _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ ,”4 she said, her gaze drilling into his. He lowered his first. She focused on Jos again. “ _Bandrona kom Azgeda_ , you and one of your warriors will accompany my scouts at dawn to approach the war party and assess these developments.”

“Is such truly necessary?” Krio’s challenge, though spoken quietly, rang through the room like the sound of swords meeting in battle. A few other council representatives glanced at each other then back at the dais.

She again turned to Krio, both amused and irritated though she showed neither. Like Nia, Krio underestimated her. “Perhaps not,” she said, and the tension in the room built again, like a thundercloud. “You will accompany my scouts in Jos’s stead.”

Krio paled and the muscles in his jaw clenched. Even from her position across the room, Lexa saw it. The storm dissipated, as if dispersed by wind. Krio was unpopular with the other clan representatives, but she was also issuing a challenge to Nia by removing Krio from Polis on this errand. He knew it, Jos knew it, and all gathered did, as well. And from the latter Lexa sensed approval.

She stood, her shoulder guards clanking softly, a reminder of her position as a warrior and, in this context, Commander. She had donned light battle dress and face paint for this gathering. It wasn’t required, but she rarely held clan gatherings without it. She addressed the warriors at the door. “Accompany _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ to his quarters to prepare, and ensure he is comfortable there until first light.”

Anger tinged Krio’s cheeks red. “You would hold me prisoner?”

“I would ensure your safety.”

Someone softly cleared their throat in the back of the room and one of the warriors who flanked Jos fought a smirk at Lexa’s calm pronouncement.

“An _Azgeda_ war party is not something _Trikru_ dismisses,” she continued. “There may be those within the city who will act in displeasure against representatives of _Azgeda_.” She paused and descended the dais, long black coat flowing behind her and boots scuffing on the stone as she moved down the steps to the floor. She stopped a few steps from Krio. “I seek to prevent such.”

He stared at her, cheeks still red, eyes hard with hatred and offense. She merely regarded him as she might an insignificant insect—not worth the effort to address any further. That, she knew, would carry more symbolic weight in this situation than a show of bombast and force.

She nodded once and two warriors stepped forward, each taking a position on either side of Krio. She waved her right hand in dismissal and Krio accompanied them willingly, perhaps realizing that defying the Commander in that instant was a losing proposition. She had outmaneuvered him, and his eyes blazed with fury.

She ignored him as the guards escorted him from the room and turned instead to Indra. “We must also ensure the safety of the ambassador during her stay.”

Indra gave a nod and Jos stared at Lexa, her expression a mixture of anxiety and calculation. Lexa considered her the more dangerous of Nia’s placements in Polis. Jos was careful with her statements when she made them, and she paid attention to everything she saw. Her third week in the city was soon to begin, and Lexa had ensured that her every movement was watched, but Jos would know that, and thus was most likely being extremely careful. She was feeding information to Nia, Lexa was sure, but she had yet to uncover its path.

“Is there further business?” Lexa assessed the clan representatives. Expressions ranged from approval to worry. The latter was to be expected, given her pronouncement regarding the _Azgeda_ war party. No one spoke and she dismissed them all with another wave of her hand.

Indra remained, as her position dictated.

“Krio’s time in Polis has ended,” Lexa said. “Leave him where the war party will find him.”

“ _Sha, Heda_. How much safety shall the ambassador have in Krio’s absence?”

“It is far too dangerous for her to leave her quarters during the remainder of her time here. Arrange such immediately.”

A flicker of a smile played at the corner of Indra’s mouth. It was gone as quickly as it appeared. She strode from the room. Lexa returned to the dais and went behind it, where she opened the double doors that led to the balcony. The sun was warm on her face as she stared out over the city twenty floors below.

The tower of Polis afforded beautiful but also strategic views, and she stared past the city walls at the vast expanse of forest beyond, and the mountains that rose in the distance, blue-gray in the heavy afternoon light. And beyond that, the wastelands of the dead zone. Faint shouts and laughter drifted from the crowds below and she allowed herself a bit of respite from the role she wore like her armor.

As always, she thought of Clarke, and as always, she welcomed the sharp cut of pain that accompanied the thoughts because it reminded her that Clarke had affected her, and that parts of her were still alive, parts she never thought would live again after Costia.

Clarke would never feed those parts after what happened at the mountain, she knew. She had known that when she accepted the deal to free her people, but she was Commander, and her first responsibility was always to her people. She recalled Clarke’s expression and everything she said outside the huge metal doors that led into the mountain’s bowels, separating inside from out. Clarke’s thoughts were sometimes as easy to see as the bracelets children wore, and that night at the mountain, her thoughts were not only visible, but palpable. Tangible, like the taste of blood in a battle.

Lexa gripped the warm metal of the balcony’s sagging railing and let the pain of that night wash through her, like the rush of icy stream water over smooth stones. There could be no comfort, because the source of that was Clarke, and if Clarke survived whatever nightmares had driven her into the forest, she would not look at Lexa as she had before the mountain.

As painful as that was, she accepted it, because Costia had paid an irrevocable price for her association with the Commander. She would not see that price exacted again, and she especially would not see it exacted on Clarke. But she would always welcome the pain of the loss of Clarke at the mountain, because it was indicative of something deep and powerful between them. There would be no pain if there had been no connection.

She stepped back into the room and shut the doors. She had other scouts to send out, and other decisions to make.

  
2 _Bandrona kom Azgeda_ : Ice Nation ambassador [NOTE: "bandrona" means "ambassador"]   
3 _kongeda_ : coalition (of clans)   
4 _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ : Krio from/of Ice Nation   
NOTE: _Jos kom Azgeda_ : Jos from/of Ice Nation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to put another chapter up cuz WHY NOT? Still Pride-ing this weekend, and wanted to share some more luuuuv with all y'all.
> 
> I had a little bit of trepidation writing this chapter because one of the scenes is in Lexa's POV, and that's a bit tougher to delve into, given that most of the time, Lexa's character in The 100 TV show is filtered mostly through other characters. That is, we spend lots of time riding around with Clarke interacting with all kinds of people, but we don't get to do that with Lexa. We don't get to spend time riding around with Lexa interacting with lots of different people without Clarke usually there as a scene anchor.
> 
> Anyhoo, here you go. Let's hope it worked. THANKS for the comments and kudos! I try to respond ASAP!
> 
> (I'm a former DJ and I always write to music, so I'm going to include these short lists each chapter.) Some of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Kita Alexander, "Plain Sight"; Contact, "Never Stop"; ARIZONA, "Where I Want to Be"


	3. To Arkadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On her way to Arkadia, Clarke runs into some Ice Nation warriors in the forest.

Laughter.

Clarke opened her eyes and lay still in the twilight between bad dream and full awareness. She’d been sleeping on a root and it was digging into her shoulderblade, near her healing wound. She moved a little to alleviate the discomfort, hardly breathing. She’d been dreaming of Dante, and his expression when she shot him. No laughter there.

But yet someone was laughing. She let her breath out slowly and listened. Voices, speaking something that sounded like a mixture of Trigedasleng and English. Ice Nation? She wasn’t sure, but she determined at least two separate voices. She couldn’t tell how far away they were. Sound carried differently in the forest, and whoever this was could be mere yards away or possibly farther.

They sounded close.

She carefully rolled onto her stomach and peered through the tangle of branches of the fallen tree that had provided her a hidden spot for the night. The flicker of firelight maybe fifty yards distant caught her eye. They weren’t actively looking for her or moving, so she could probably remain where she was the rest of the night and move on after they did. Grounders tended to rise at dawn, following the rhythms of the sun. She stared through the branches again, assessing. Clearly she'd been tired, because she managed to sleep through their noises to this point.

The hilt of her knife was digging into her hip and she moved again, in increments. Someone barked what sounded like a command and she stopped moving to listen. She only caught snippets of words, a few of which she recognized, but without context they meant nothing.

She forced herself to relax. They didn’t know she was here, or she would be there at the fire with them. But if they were Ice Nation, what were they doing this far West? She tried to listen harder. Yes, two distinct voices, and one just said _Skaikru_. She tensed. Maybe she’d misheard. No, there it was again. And definitely the word _Wanheda_.

Clarke crawled slowly and carefully out of her hiding place. She owed it to Arkadia to find out what was being said about her people. It might be nothing. They might simply be talking about her. But if not—and given what Niylah had told her yesterday—she needed to know, and she needed to know what clan they were. She stayed on her stomach, inching forward slowly and carefully. Night breezes helped, because they rustled the leaves and branches of the foliage, providing a bit of extra cover as she painstakingly moved closer.

Halfway there, she could hear more of the conversation, including mentions of _Heda_ and _plana_. This group was Ice Nation, she was almost positive. A branch sliced into her hand and she bit her lip as she carefully lifted her palm and kept moving forward. Hopefully the cut wouldn’t be too deep. Her other hand brushed the smooth surface of a stick. She stopped and ran her fingers along it. Substantial, and a decent weapon. She gripped it and continued crawling.

“What will your village give us for your return?” one of the voices asked in guttural English before he laughed.

They had a hostage, most likely _Trikru_. Clarke moved closer, until she was practically five yards away. Her heart pounded in her ears and she flattened herself as much as she could to the earth, hoping the bush she was under would provide enough cover. From this position, she could hear most everything and see a bit through the leaves. Two warriors sat near the fire, each with the facial scar patterns marking them as Ice Nation. She could just make out a form lying on its side on the ground. That had to be the hostage.

“You have a name?” one of the warriors asked. She was looking at the form on the ground.

No response.

“No name for Niylah’s errand boy,” she said before she added something in accented Trigedasleng, and the other laughed. The figure on the ground said and did nothing.

Niylah’s errand boy? Clarke bit her lip harder. She should just work her way back to her hiding place and be on her way tomorrow. This wasn’t her business.

Except it was Zander. She knew him, and he was related to Niylah. He’d lost his family to the mountain and she couldn’t bring herself to leave him to Ice Nation, no matter that he wasn’t her people. Besides, she owed it to Niylah to help him, for keeping her secret and keeping her safe.

The warriors had dumped Zander a few feet from the fire, his back to Clarke. His hands were tied behind him, but they’d left his feet free.

“Perhaps _Skaikru_ will pay more,” the male warrior said, drawing laughter from his companion. “Maybe he has seen _Wanheda_.”

The female warrior shot a glance at Zander. “Perhaps he knows where she is.” She held her knife up in the flames and appeared to inspect it. “Perhaps Niylah does.”

Zander visibly flinched.

“Perhaps we might talk to Niylah again,” the female warrior said, firelight bouncing off her facial scars.

Zander’s shoulders tensed and Clarke’s fingers slid to her knife. What she wouldn’t give for a gun. She moved her free hand around and found another stick, smaller than the one she’d brought. That might serve a purpose, too.

The male grunted and got to his feet. “He will talk soon enough.”

“No reason to, when we leave him for dead,” the other said.

Clarke froze as the male warrior moved directly to her hiding spot. He passed within a foot of her, took a few more paces, and stopped. Clarke held her breath and then she heard the splash of urine. She made her decision and drew her knife as she carefully got to her knees.

He finished and returned to the fire along the same route he’d taken. He passed even closer to her hiding place, within perfect reach. Clarke held her breath and lunged, ignoring the branches that tore at her face, and buried her knife to the hilt in his thigh and as he screamed and collapsed, she slid out from underneath the bush on the side away from him, keeping low.

The other warrior was on her feet, sword drawn. Her companion was grunting and breathing in loud hisses through his teeth. The blade on Clarke’s knife was nearly eight inches long, and if she had hit anything vital, it would be worse for him if he pulled it out.

She tossed the smaller stick away from the campfire and at the sound of it as it hit either underbrush or tree, the female warrior’s attention focused on the direction, her back to Clarke. Adrenaline surged through Clarke’s limbs as she threw herself to her feet, brandishing her other stick like a club. She was already swinging when the warrior turned, and the wood connected with her skull with a satisfying crunch. The warrior dropped without a sound.

Clarke kicked her body over and pulled one of the warrior’s knives from its sheath and looked at Zander. He stared at her, then jerked his head up in warning. The male warrior had managed to gain his feet and he was staggering toward the campfire, hand on the hilt of Clarke’s knife where it jutted from his leg. Blood flooded over his hand as he moved.

But he had another knife in his free hand, which shot forward as he threw it. Acting purely on instinct, she flung herself to the ground as the knife sailed over her head and she dropped the knife she held. He launched himself at her, driving her back to the ground again, slamming her hard and she gasped and struggled to breathe. His weight pinned her and his hands found her throat and squeezed. Panic shot through her. She struggled, but she couldn’t dislodge him, so she dug her nails into his wrists, and tore at the skin, but it had no effect. Shapes swam through her vision as his powerful hands cut off her air.

There was a flash of movement and the warrior grunted in surprise. He toppled to the side and into the fire, which made him yelp and jerk upright. Zander, on his feet, kicked at the knife in the warrior’s thigh. He connected and the warrior howled in pain as he struggled to stand amidst the coals. Clarke scrabbled to her feet and grabbed his unconscious companion’s sword. She rammed its point into his throat and he clawed at the blade, blood erupting from between his lips. Clarke pushed the blade deeper and he sagged to his knees amidst scattered, still burning pieces of wood. She pulled the sword from his throat and with a gurgle, he collapsed face forward.

She stared at him for a few moments, the adrenaline rush over, and suddenly she was trembling everywhere and nausea roiled her stomach. She bit back the bile and dropped the sword before she looked at Zander, who was panting and staring at her, wide-eyed, his hands still tied behind his back.

Using the female warrior’s knife, she cut his bindings. He rubbed his wrists, keeping a wary eye on her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“There were five. They took me before I reached my village. I think they were following me, looking for you. Three left after I was tied.”

“Looking for me? The nameless one?”

“No. He dropped his gaze. “ _Wanheda_.” He looked at her again, and she saw in the dying light from the last embers that he knew who she was and that the Ice Nation warriors suspected her identity, too.

“For the bounty?”

“No, for Nia.”

Clarke started stamping out the embers that had survived the fight. “What did they say she would do with me?”

“Challenge _Heda_.”

The female warrior groaned softly behind them and Clarke grabbed the sword and knelt next to her, the blade at her throat, still slick with the blood of her companion.

“What does _Azgeda_ want with _Wanheda_?” Clarke asked. Her vision had adjusted to the dark, and the warrior’s eyes were open. She said nothing.

“What’s the bounty?”

Still she said nothing.

“They seek war with _Heda_ ,” Zander said softly. The warrior’s gaze shifted in the direction of Zander’s voice.

“And Nia thinks _Wanheda_ will help with this?” Clarke put more pressure on the blade. She leaned in close, voice low and dangerous. “ _Wanheda_ cares nothing for _Heda_ or the affairs of _Azgeda_. Your queen will fail.” The lie about not caring for the affairs of Lexa fell easily from her lips.

The warrior glared at her but said nothing.

“ _Skaikru_ ,” Zander said.

Clarke didn’t take her eyes off the warrior’s face. “What about it?”

“They said _Wanheda_ would bring war between _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_.”

The warrior went completely still and Clarke stared at her, the implication of Zander’s words sinking in. “How?” she asked.

The warrior said nothing.

Something else dawned on Clarke. “Why is _Azgeda_ here, a half-day from Arkadia?” She didn’t expect the warrior to answer, but she pushed anyway. “This is _Trikru_ territory.”

No answer.

“Tie her hands,” she said without taking her gaze off the warrior’s face or decreasing the pressure on the sword.

Zander used the bindings from his own wrists on the warrior’s, securing her arms behind her back. Clarke moved so he could work.

“Feet, too,” Clarke said. “For now. Use her sword harness.”

While Zander tied her feet, Clarke tore a piece of cloth from the warrior’s own shirt and stuffed it into her mouth then stood and motioned Zander to join her out of earshot of their hostage.

“What else did you hear?” Clarke asked. “Think, Zander. It’s important.”

“They spoke of _Wanheda_ , and if they could find her, they could use her to help start a war between _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_.”

“Did they say how that might happen?”

“No.”

“What did they want with you?”

He was silent for a moment, as if thinking. “I do not know. One said that I would be good bait.”

“For what?”

He didn’t answer and she sensed he didn’t know. “Where did the other three Ice Nation warriors go after they captured you?”

“East.”

Possibly back toward Ice Nation. Or Polis. She chewed her lip, thinking. Bait. For what? And what role was she supposed to play to start a war between _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_? This made no sense. She turned and stared at the two figures on the ground. She’d been lucky here, and if Zander hadn’t been able to help, she wasn’t sure she’d still be standing. Any Grounder at practically any age was formidable. But only two in the forest suggested scouting and not an active war party.

What were they scouting?

Arkadia?

Niylah had said that Zander had seen people from Arkadia driving around, away from the Ark. It wouldn’t be too difficult for two or three Grounder warriors to take on a small party like that, and there would be no reason to suspect Ice Nation, because it wasn’t their territory.

No, the suspects would be _Trikru_. Especially if a _Trikru_ body were found left behind, perhaps shot with a gun to make it appear a Sky People bullet took him. Bait. Clarke looked back at Zander’s form in the dark. Ice Nation might be trying to frame the murder of Sky People on _Trikru_. And if Ice Nation had Clarke, they could do any manner of things to her to make it look like _Trikru_. They’d stage her body somewhere near Arkadia, most likely, and claim that Lexa’s people had killed her.

But Lexa’s people had no reason to kill Clarke. What would staging Clarke’s death get Nia and how would it cause strife between Lexa and Arkadia?

“Zander,” she said quietly. “Have you heard anything about Ice Nation wanting an alliance with Sky People?”

“No.”

Of course they wouldn’t talk about it openly, and Nia no doubt kept her main objectives to herself. But if Nia managed to capture her, then sent her back to Arkadia under the auspices of a proposed alliance, it would be a relatively easy matter to kill Clarke on the way and claim that _Trikru_ had done it to prevent an alliance between Arkadia and Ice Nation.

End result? Ice Nation would thus pull Arkadia into war with _Trikru_ , and Lexa’s coalition would collapse. She might lose support among her own people, thus making it easier for Nia to challenge Lexa and try to claim the position of Commander.

Her stomach burned at the thought and her entire chest seemed to clamp down on her lungs, making it hard to breathe. If that was Nia’s end game, she’d had almost three months to put it in motion. Three months that Clarke should’ve been at Arkadia, should’ve been working to maintain a relationship between Lexa’s people and her own, as emotionally fraught as that was for her. But she hadn’t been capable of anything except grief and anger the first couple of weeks on her own. She couldn’t even remember exactly how she’d survived.

She would have been useless to Arkadia. She had practically been useless to herself. But she was useful now, and she had to get to Arkadia.

“How far is Polis from here?” she asked, keeping her voice low.

“A day, walking slow.” Zander kept his voice low, too.

“And not so slow?”

"It depends," he said.

“Can you walk it in that with a prisoner?”

Zander didn’t respond.

“It’s important. You have to go to Polis with a message for _Heda_ , and you have to take the Ice Nation warrior with you.”

“I can do this,” he said, and Clarke heard resolve in his voice.

“Good. Now listen.”

He waited for her to continue.

“Tell _Heda_ that Nia wants to weaken _Trikru_. She wants to use _Trikru_ to start a war with _Skaikru_.” Clarke could just see him in the dark, and she waited for him to nod before she continued. “Tell _Heda_ that Nia wants to capture _Wanheda_ to further this plan, and that she might be trying to form an alliance with _Skaikru_ that she can use against _Trikru_. Repeat that back to me.”

He did and she squeezed his shoulder. “Good. Tell _Heda_ that _Klark kom Skaikru_ 1 sent you. Tell her that I have gone to Arkadia to warn them about Ice Nation.”

Zander was silent for a few moments at her admission. “Will _Heda_ believe me?”

“Yes,” she said, and this admission made her ache. No matter Lexa’s betrayal, Clarke would never seek revenge against her. Lexa knew that, and she would accept a message from her and believe it. Lexa knew her in some ways better than Clarke knew herself, and the realization left her feeling both empty and comforted. Empty because Lexa had betrayed her and comforted because of the connection she knew she and the Commander had shared, however briefly. She removed the leather thong from around her neck, which carried her father’s watch. Lexa would know it immediately. “Give this to _Heda_ with the message.”

She pressed the watch into Zander’s hand and he held it for what seemed a long time before he slipped the thong over his neck, his motions discernible in the first light of dawn. He tucked it into his shirt carefully, as he had with Niylah’s necklace barely a day ago.

“We both have to leave now,” she said. “Try to keep the prisoner alive for _Heda_.” She knew that the Ice Nation warrior could do any manner of things to endanger Zander’s mission, and she understood if he had to kill her, but hopefully, he would find a way to get her to Polis.

He nodded once then returned to the male warrior’s body and extracted Clarke’s knife from his thigh. Zander wiped it on the dead Grounder’s trousers and handed it, hilt first, to her. She gave him the female Grounder’s sword and watched as he untied her feet and hauled her upright. Zander was stronger than he looked.

“ _Leida_ ,”2 he said to Clarke with a nod.

She nodded back and watched as he pushed the warrior into the forest, the sword point pressing into her back. Clarke sheathed her knife and checked the dead warrior for other weapons. She found another knife that she used to cut the leather thongs from around his neck that carried pendants carved of bone and stone, which she might need as proof of contact. His sword and scabbard she also took before she retrieved her pack from her initial hiding place.

The sword’s harness was awkward across her back, but it was the best place to carry it. His knife she stuck in her belt on the side opposite her own before she slung her pack over the scabbard, and resumed her trip to Arkadia, willing Zander to succeed. And as she pushed herself forward, throat aching from the Grounder’s attack, with little sleep and an empty belly, she knew that she would have to face Lexa again, in the war that brewed in the wake of Mt. Weather. She dreaded the meeting, but part of her welcomed it—pined for it.

That was the part that kept her moving.

  
1 _Klark kom Skaikru_ : Clarke of the Sky People   
2 _leida_ : bye; goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, friends, I wanted to post this third chapter TODAY (right after Chapter 2, practically) because I wanted to leave you with a sense of "mission" before I post another installment, which will probably be in a week or two.
> 
> So after this one, as I've said, I'll be doing a couple every week or so (FANFIC FRIDAYS!).
> 
> Here, Clarke's got to get to Arkadia because Nia is up to shit, and Clarke's got to warn Sky Crew and she's got to get a message to Lexa -- uh-oh. She's going to be attempting to establish contact with Lexa, after all the crappity crap at the mountain. But Clarke is Clarke, and can put feelings aside in order to accomplish goals for the most good. Even when it comes to Lexa. Right? RIGHT?
> 
> Yeah, we'll see how that approach works out for her, as events throughout the following chapters put her and Lexa on a collision course with each other. :D
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll be back with some more next week. In the meantime, you can hit me up in the comments, if you're so inclined or on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A few of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Josef Salvat, "Open Season" (Gryffin Remix on this one, y'all); KONGOS, "Take It from Me"; ASTR, "Bleeding Love"


	4. Respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jos wants to have a word with Lexa, and Lexa thinks the Azgeda ambassador is up to shit. So does Titus. Meanwhile, Clarke returns to Arkadia, and we all know the stress that could bring (can't a Wanheda get a break, y'all?).

“Enter,” Lexa said at the sharp knock on the door to her private quarters. She looked up from the map spread across her table as Titus came in. He stood just inside the door, hands clasped in front of him, robes indicating his status as the bearer of ritual knowledge. He kept his head shaved and the broad lines of tattoos on his scalp that ran from just above his eyebrows to the back of his head offered a striking contrast to his pale skin. She allowed his counsel because he brought different perspectives and his loyalty to her was unassailable, but his beliefs did not interest her beyond the weight of their symbolic value to her people.

“The ambassador seeks an audience, _Heda_.”

“What does the ambassador wish to discuss?” She braced her palms on the table.

“The matter of Krio’s journey this morning.”

She straightened. She’d expected this, but not so soon. “Bring her to the council room.”

Titus bowed his head and retreated. She went to her anteroom where she donned just short of a semblance of full war paint on her face. She was already outfitted in her light battle garb, including her swords and knives, so when she exited into the corridor beyond and her guards took flanking positions on either side of her, she looked as if she might have been going to address a war council.

She and the guards moved to the stairwell and descended quickly to the proper floor. Several other warriors stood near the open doors of the council chamber. They moved aside, all nodding in respect as she passed and entered the room where she ascended the dais to take her seat. Appearances, she knew, were important in matters such as this, and the trappings of Commander needed to be emphasized, especially to _Azgeda_.

The warriors who had accompanied her from her quarters positioned themselves on either side of the dais, one step below. Within moments, Jos was brought in, a guard on either side. She was walked to within a few feet of the dais and she went down on one knee, head bowed. After a few moments, she stood.

Lexa regarded her. “You seek an audience, _Bandrona kom Azgeda_. Speak.”

“ _Heda_ , I wish to send a message to my queen that she may provide assurances that _Azgeda_ honors the coalition with _Trikru_.”

She had expected this, too. She believed none of it. “I have already sent a message to your queen. It left at dawn.” In the company of Indra and three scouts, who had most likely already left Krio to the _Azgeda_ war party. “Clearly,” she continued, tone hard, “ _you_ cannot provide assurances, since your queen has not shared any with you.”

Jos looked away.

“Which leads me to wonder what role you were sent here to play.”

Jos looked back at her, surprise and perhaps a bit of fear in her eyes.

“You will send no message to your queen, _Jos kom Azgeda_ ,” she said as she stood. “And your time is limited.” She nodded once to the warriors who had brought Jos and each gripped one of her arms and turned her to leave.

“Wait, _Heda_ ,” Jos called over her shoulder. “I have information.”

She said nothing and the warriors escorted Jos from the council room.

“Please, _Heda_ ,” Jos’s voice sounded from the corridor, desperate. “Please.” It faded the farther she was taken from the chamber.

She descended the dais. “She may yet be useful,” she said when she was a few paces from Titus. “Nia most likely will have her killed should she return. She is safer here, until I decide otherwise.”

“Jos seeks to ensure such with an offer of information,” Titus said.

“Mmm.”

“And the message she wished to send?”

She pursed her lips. “No doubt a code, and an attempt to extend her life in the eyes of her queen.”

Titus nodded. “All is not as it seems.”

“No, it is not. Walk with me.”

He followed her into the corridor, the guards trailing at a respectful distance.

“She is in contact with someone in Polis.” Lexa looked at Titus meaningfully and he nodded.

“ _Osir na dig em au_ ,”1 he said softly.

“Good. And I would see Indra immediately upon her return.”

“Yes, _Heda_ ,” he turned and went back toward the council chamber, his robes moving silently around his feet. The two guards closed the distance to her and accompanied her back to her chambers, where she again studied the map on her table, created on a deer skin that nearly covered the wood surface corner to corner.

Nia had sent Jos as a spy, she was sure, and Krio as a handler, perhaps, though she was certain Jos had another contact in the city who was serving as a means to receive and pass messages to _Azgeda_. That someone could be in the tower, and she knew not to dismiss the possibility. Nia was careful. Insolent but careful. And always seeking to displace her as Commander.

Costia’s death proved how far Nia would go in that goal, and Lexa still carried that loss, though its edge no longer tore her from sleep. It was a sadness, now, that had hardened into resolve. Nia must be removed from power, and by Lexa’s hand. But without cause, she would not have the backing of the other clans.

She stood, staring at the map, though she no longer saw the blackened lines that demarcated different areas or locations. Instead, she saw Clarke, standing in the Commander’s tent as they planned the assault on the mountain, saw the purpose in her eyes and the little spark of affection in shared glances. She remembered Clarke’s lips before that, soft against hers, exploring for a moment, accepting, wanting. Needing. But uncertain about what it meant, uncertain in the tenuous link between them, and the blood spilled by both their hands.

She thought then of their first meeting, when Clarke entered her tent knowing that her life rested in Lexa’s hands. She was wary, yes. But not afraid. No, Clarke was resolute and calm, and refused to allow her to control the conversation, refused to let Indra’s accusations deter her from her message. She appreciated that, appreciated that Clarke had taken this role young, as she herself had. She understood that Clarke’s leadership had come out of necessity, that Clarke accepted it as an obligation and responsibility, and was willing to do what had to be done to ensure the safety of her people.

Clarke was not interested in power. She was interested in the best options for her people.

Lexa saw in Clarke a kindred spirit, no matter their origins worlds apart, no matter their vastly different upbringings. Clarke, too, had experienced the harsh realities of survival, and the brutalities it could entail. She knew loss, knew life and death, knew that every day was either a gift or a curse. And yet she refused to shut herself off from love, believed that living was about more than surviving, and willingly accepted Lexa’s kiss. Willingly accepted her duty to her people. Willingly accepted her role as Commander.

Until the mountain.

But she knew that Clarke would have done the same thing in her position. And deep down, Clarke knew it, too. That was why she had fled Arkadia. Because she had been forced to choose for her people within, because Lexa had done the same, and Clarke saw in herself what leadership in this world truly entailed. Lexa knew that pain. But she was _Heda_ , and could not leave her people to seek refuge from her wounds. _Skaikru_ had others in place ready and willing to take the reins of power. Clarke had the luxury of escape, something Lexa would never have. She didn’t begrudge Clarke that. Rather, she was glad, because Clarke recognized that she was a detriment to her people after the mountain, and she willingly left her role.

She ran her finger along the edge of the pelt. Nia would attempt to forge an alliance with _Skaikru_ in an attempt to undermine _Trikru_ and perhaps launch a war. As manipulative and dangerous as Nia was, she could also be predictable. And without Clarke, _Skaikru_ was vulnerable.

Even with Abby and Kane as leadership, it was vulnerable. The former lacked vision, though from her Clarke had inherited stubbornness and fire. The latter sometimes thought too much, and allowed the nuances of decisions that needed to be made quickly to leave him mired.

Bellamy didn’t have Clarke’s ability to weigh both short- and long-term, or her ability to put the needs of many before those of a few. He was subject to the whims of his own losses, and Octavia didn’t have the ear of her people like Clarke did, though Lexa admired Octavia’s spirit. As did Indra, though Indra would never admit it openly. No, without Clarke, _Skaikru_ was vulnerable to machination and whatever traps Nia planned, placing both _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ in jeopardy.

Lexa suspected that if Clarke knew what was happening, she would return to Arkadia, putting her own wounds aside. Regardless, she hadn’t, or Lexa would have heard. Clarke couldn’t help her people now.

So Lexa would.

It was time for a meeting with the _Skaikru_ Chancellor.

  
1 _Osir na dig em au_ : We’ll find them

###

The remnants of the Ark formed a huge vertical semicircle that arched from its resting place like some kind of ancient temple. The survivors who had come to earth in it had turned it into a village of sorts, and encircled it with a fortified wall. Without them, without the sounds of activity within and the guards perched at the top of the wall, the structure would have looked like just another ruin, not yet conquered by the encroaching forests.

The land around it had been cleared, and a hard-packed dirt track led from its front gate to the trees where Clarke currently stood, buffeted by myriad emotions that she couldn’t sort. She’d been standing here for a while, exhaustion and hunger gnawing at her like so many wild dogs. Her throat hurt, and other bruises from the fight with the Ice Nation warrior had made themselves known. She ached, inside and out, and not all of the pain was physical.

She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the trees onto the dirt track. The guards had already seen her, she assumed, so she held her hands up and out to show she wasn’t brandishing weapons, and walked purposefully toward the gates like that, heart pounding.

Every step she took was like walking through mud, like she was still tethered to Mt. Weather and the weight of the dead. One of the guards perched above the gate shouted something to someone inside the enclosure, then trained his rifle on her. She kept walking, keeping her pace steady, until she was nearly to the gates. The other guard had her gun pointed at Clarke, too.

“Name and business,” the female guard said from her lookout stand, some fifteen feet above the ground but only a few feet above the gate. Clarke didn’t recognize her.

“Clarke Griffin,” she said in a loud, clear voice. “Returning to Arkadia.”

The guard stared at her, then shouted to someone below to open the gate. Clarke lowered her hands as the gates swung outward. Her heart hammered in her chest. She’d never felt as alone as she did now, never so exposed. Arkadia had no reason to take her back. No reason to listen to her. No reason to do anything at all.

She stayed where she was, and suddenly there was a swirl of movement and bodies and shouts and Abby was running toward her through the gates. Before she could say or do anything, she was nearly suffocating in Abby’s hug, and couldn’t even move her arms to hug her back.

“Clarke,” Abby whispered, still holding on to her.

There were other voices she knew, other faces, too, that surrounded her and it was all she could do not to tear herself away and bolt back into the quiet of the forest. Finally Abby released her. “Welcome home,” she said, tears streaking her cheeks, and she relaxed, though the words held little meaning for her since the mountain.

“Mom,” she finally managed. “Thanks.”

Abby took her hand and gently pulled. Clarke felt many hands touch her arms and shoulders as she followed Abby through the gates, and she heard greetings, too. She managed to smile and nod and squeeze a few hands in response, but her voice lodged in her throat.

Abby stopped at one of the entrances into the main structure. “Everyone,” she announced, “I know we all have questions. But right now, Clarke gets a standard medical check and then a debriefing. I’ll let you know when we’re done.”

Those who had gathered nodded and Clarke saw the Chancellor’s pin on Abby’s shirt. That was good news. At least that hadn’t changed, though she looked pale and tired, something that was more obvious with her hair pulled back.

“Come on.” Abby motioned her inside, and Clarke walked with her through the smooth corridor, feeling hemmed in, maybe a little claustrophobic. She’d been on the ground too long, perhaps, and the thought almost made her smile, at how so much had changed in such a short time.

Several people she didn’t recognize stopped and stared as they passed, probably because she looked like a Grounder, and they wondered what the hell Abby was doing taking one without a guard into the Ark. That almost made her smile, too. She’d not only gone to ground in her months here, she’d practically gone Grounder.

“Clarke?” A thin young man with close-cropped dark hair regarded her, eyes wide.

Both Abby and Clarke stopped and Clarke did actually manage a smile. “Hi, Ash,” she said with genuine warmth.

“It _is_ you.” Before she could prepare, he was hugging her, and she winced as one of his arms hit a bruise. She let him hug her, figuring that’s what he needed to do.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” he said. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to—” he released her and stepped back. “Sorry, Chancellor. It’s just that—”

Abby smiled at him. “It’s all right. She’ll be available later.”

He grinned. “That’s. . .great. That’s really great.” And he hustled away, but glanced back over his shoulder at her, still smiling.

She caught Abby’s gaze and waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. Instead, Abby just gestured at her to keep walking, much to her relief. She wasn’t sure she could deal with being mothered right now, something Abby always tried to do with her, a habit from the Ark. She wondered if Abby still used it as a way to avoid dealing with her as an individual, as someone thrust into a role that required decisions no one should have to make. Or maybe she did it to avoid the truth between them, that Clarke had yet to forgive Abby for the death of her father.

She followed Abby into medical, and all the conversations dwindled to silence as both patients and staff stared at her. Again, she fought an urge to bolt.

“Clarke,” Jackson said, as if he was trying out a new word, surprise in his dark eyes, but happiness as well.

“Hi,” she said, his expression putting her a little more at ease. She nodded at the patients, two of whom she recognized. The other two she didn’t know.

“Over here.” Abby directed her to one of two exam rooms and Clarke went in, but Abby lingered in the doorway. “I’ll be done in a bit, Jackson. Can you take care of Trey’s exam?”

“Yes.”

Abby shut the door to the exam room, and Clarke dropped her pack to the floor so she wouldn’t have to talk to her much. Plus, the room was small and windowless and made her feel trapped, like at the mountain. She quickly unbuckled the harness of the sword slung across her back and set it, too, on the floor. She set her knives on a shelf and removed her belt, which went onto the floor. Then she removed her battered jacket and normally, she’d argue with Abby about needing medical attention, but if she was going to help Arkadia and _Trikru_ , she needed to be stronger and healthier, and she was willing to listen to a lecture about that in order to get there.

“Not sure how I feel about this hair color on you,” Abby said wryly as Clarke removed her two outer shirts until she was down to her chest bindings. Clarke said nothing and then Abby’s eyes widened. “What—” she stared at her throat and gently touched the side of her neck.

“Long story.” She grimaced as Abby cupped her chin and carefully moved her head to the side.

“Can you swallow?”

“Yes. A little sore, but not bad.”

Abby gave her a look. “Can I have the truth for once?”

“That is the truth. My larynx seems fine. There’s some stiffness and aching, but nothing indicative of anything serious.” She lapsed into medical speak, which was safe with Abby, and a level of communication through which they could connect. Funny, how she automatically did that.

“The pattern of these bruises indicates handprints,” Abby said, voice tight.

She tensed, as she always did around her mom. “And I said it’s a long story, which I’ll tell you later.”

Abby looked like she was about to say something else, then stopped and instead checked her pupils, ears, and mouth, in addition to the scratch across Clarke’s palm that she’d gotten the night before. It wasn’t very deep, and Clarke had kept it clean with a piece of cloth wrapped around her hand.

“Anything broken?” Abby asked.

Besides her heart and big chunks of her soul? She shook her head and Abby checked the bruises on her arms and abdomen then walked around her and her sharp intake of breath made Clarke tense again. “It’s healing well,” she said, knowing Abby was staring at the parts of the panther’s claw marks not hidden by her bindings.

“I need to check.”

She undid her bindings and held them over her chest as Abby inspected her back. “The marks are healing well,” she said, tone clinical, “but you’re going to scar.”

“That’s fine.” She wanted—no, needed—the marks because they would serve as a physical reminder of a time she could never forget, and in the physical evidence was a strange sort of comfort. She understood, now, why Grounders marked their flesh after kills. In a way, it honored the dead, and acknowledged the pain of the living.

“Is this part of your long story?”

“No. The claw marks are another story.”

Abby moved so that she was facing her again. “You’re underweight, undernourished, and exhausted. I doubt I need to tell you that.”

“You’re right. You don’t.” She refastened her bindings and slipped one of her shirts on, not caring that it probably needed to be burned.

Abby held her gaze, resignation in her expression. “Then will you let me help you?”

She stared at her, surprised. Normally Abby would just tell her what to do.

“You won’t be able to function at full capacity unless you’re healthy.” Abby half-smiled. “And I know you’re here for a reason beyond just coming home.”

She smiled back. “All right.”

Abby’s eyes filled with tears and in spite of the chasm of love and loss between them, Clarke hugged her, startled when she felt tears on her own cheeks, but not really caring because she was so tired, so damn tired, and there was so much work to do.

“Mom, the first thing you can do for me is let me clean up,” she said after a while against Abby’s shoulder.

She laughed. “I thought you’d never ask.” She stepped back and wiped her eyes. “And you realize I will have to call a meeting and we will have to debrief you.”

“I figured.”

“But I want you clean, fed, and rested. In that order.”

“All right.”

Abby gave her another look, one that seemed to wonder who this woman was, who showed up in Clarke’s skin but was something else entirely beneath it. She motioned toward the door. “Come on. And don’t worry. I’ll bring your things to you.”

Clarke nodded and followed, strangely glad to let someone else make decisions, even ones as mundane as this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I enjoy writing these characters. I like having Clarke's viewpoint and Lexa's because I'm fascinated by the differences and similarities between these two women, and how they process things. Clarke never aspired to leadership, but she's a natural and she's looked to as a leader, but the power structure on the Ark was different than on the ground, so Clarke and Lexa have to employ different methods to achieve their aims. I like digging into that, and I like that both of them share a connection that neither quite knows what to do about.
> 
> Trust me, friends. There's gonna be some heat in future chapters between these two. :D
> 
> Here, I also do some excavation of Clarke's relationship with Abby, which we know isn't the best. And maybe it'll never be the best. But maybe they'll come to an understanding.  
> Thanks for reading, and hit me up in the comments if you're so inclined. I appreciate it.
> 
> A few of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Riley Pearce, "Brave" (Steffen Kalig remix); Troy, "When the Lights Came"; Jessica Hart, "Soul Phazed"


	5. Plots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Indra trying to figure out WTF Nia is up to (and Jos) and coming up with some good ideas about it. Oh, and Lexa thinks about Clarke. Again. Because Clarke.

Lexa stood on her balcony, letting the night wash over her. She allowed herself a more casual demeanor in private meetings with advisors, especially after nightfall. She was rarely without face paint these days, so not having it on was somewhat of a relief, and though her armor was as familiar to her as her skin, she did enjoy a respite from it.

Clarke had never seen her like this, out of most of the trappings of Commander, and she wondered sometimes if it would have made a difference, to know that though she was always _Heda_ , she was also Lexa—a woman of _Trikru_ , trained in the ways of battle and blood, but also in the ways of life and loss. Clarke hadn’t known the ground until recently, hadn’t known the savagery and beauty of life on Earth until but a few months ago, but she was adapting, and that was something else Lexa admired about her.

She stared into the dark, toward the even darker humps of the mountains, and thought of Finn, the man Clarke had loved and who Lexa had sentenced to death for his slaughter of several of her people. He lost himself to the ground, and allowed rage and fear to dictate his actions. She knew Clarke loved him, but his life endangered her people while his death atoned for their losses.

Clarke had released him from his life before the sentence was carried out. Lexa had known she would. She’d allowed her to get close enough to him to do it, because she would have done the same for Costia, if she could have. She granted that privilege to Clarke, because as battle-worn and duty-bound as she was, she had known love, too. Rare, in this world. Rarer still for leaders, and she knew Clarke’s pain. One of many things that bound their paths, as much as it hurt.

Indra’s knock sounded at the door.

She stepped back inside. “Enter.”

Indra did and shut the door behind her before she bowed her head in acknowledgement. “ _Heda_.” She, like Lexa, wore armor like another layer of skin. She hadn’t yet washed the grime of travel off, or removed her facepaint, black against the brown of her skin. The paint partially obscured the geometric tattoos on the right side of her face, from mid-cheek to forehead.

She nodded back and Indra moved to the table and the map. “We delivered Krio here—” she pointed to a spot a quarter-day’s ride from Polis, at the base of a ridge, “and the scouts followed him, though he was not aware.”

Lexa nodded again, watching as Indra moved her finger to the top of the ridge. The myriad candles set at varying heights in the room created shadows across the deer hide’s surface and the walls of her quarters. She left the walls largely bare, which she found helped soothe her mind.

“Twenty-five warriors.” She looked at Lexa. “But they do not appear to be preparing for an attack.”

“What, then?”

Indra shook her head once, clearly puzzled. “Waiting. The camp has the look of more than a few days about it.”

“For what?”

“Reinforcements, perhaps, from _Azgeda_.” Indra pointed at the area behind the ridge, shifting slightly so that her sword hilt wouldn’t bump the table. “But I do not understand why Nia would risk such an attack. She does not have loyalty from all the clans.”

Yet, Lexa thought as she stared at the map. “Nia would not risk a public display like this unless she had that. So perhaps the encampment is for something else.” Though the ridge did provide an excellent defensive position. Backs to _Azgeda_ , fronts to Polis, where an attack would most likely originate. Difficult for Polis to launch an attack uphill, and equally difficult to approach from the south, as there was a greater chance of running into more _Azgeda_. “What of Krio?”

“He was not expected, but he was welcomed.” Indra’s humor—rare as it was— never involved obvious displays. Rather, she used a certain tone, and an additional lilt behind her delivery. She did that now and Lexa smiled.

“Nia will receive my message in a day, then. Unexpected and most certainly unwelcome.”

Indra held Lexa’s gaze. “She is fortunate that Krio returns to her whole.”

“It could not be helped in this instance,” Lexa said, tone as dry as Indra’s was earlier.

“I understand, _Heda_. Perhaps next time.”

She almost laughed when she looked up from the map. “A rare mood for you, _plangona_.” 2

Indra shrugged. “I have no love for Krio. And I have even less for Nia.”

“I suspect the entirety of _Trikru_ agrees with you.” She pointed at the map. “Two days, perhaps, for Nia to reinforce the war party along the ridge, if she were to do so.”

“It would depend on how many she sent. But she knows that we would be well aware of such and would have prepared for it. Which is why I wonder at the true nature of this encampment.” The candlelight flickered in a breeze that joined them from the balcony. Lexa hadn’t shut the doors, because she appreciated the way night smelled and felt, in these rare times when she was able to relax in her quarters.

Silence gathered between them as both gazed at the map.

“They seek something,” Indra said.

“Yes. It may be inside or outside Polis.”

“Perhaps both.”

Lexa looked at her, waiting.

“Jos is inside. _Wanheda_ is outside.”

Her expression did not change but at the sound of that title, an echo of a connection flared momentarily as she regarded Indra.

“There is someone in Polis who aids Jos,” Indra continued.

“Yes. It is fortunate, then, that she is under even greater protection now than previously. I think perhaps we may set a trap.”

Indra nodded in approval. “ _Wanheda_ is a different matter. From what the scout heard between Krio and the _Azgeda_ warriors who greeted him, there are rumors that _Wanheda_ is alive and was seen. . .here.” Indra’s fingertip denoted a spot halfway between the ridge and Polis. “Near a trading stop. _Nylah kom Trikru_.” 1

“I know the name,” she said, her tone betraying nothing. “She lost a brother to the _Maunon_.” She knew many names. It was a Commander’s duty to know the lineages within her clan of origin, which bound her tighter to them. “How long ago?”

“Four, perhaps five days.” Indra withdrew her finger but continued to study the map. “It is possible that the encampment on the ridge is a staging point to search for her.”

“Mmm.” She contemplated the spot on the map that indicated the trading spot. “Who saw her?” She looked at Indra.

“ _Azgeda_.”

No reason, then, to lie about a sighting to the other warriors on the ridge. “They watch the trading stop.”

Indra nodded.

She calculated the distance between the _Azgeda_ encampment and Niylah’s. Three hours walking, perhaps. The last sighting of Clarke that Lexa had gotten was reported by one of Lexa’s scouts, perhaps twenty days past, and she had been roughly halfway between Polis and Arkadia. The scout had watched Clarke for a while to make sure she was not in need of anything, then brought the information to Lexa, who had known roughly where Clarke was since she left Arkadia. She knew Clarke would never accept her help, but she was prepared to give it should she see that Clarke needed it.

“Nia wishes to bend Clarke to her plan,” Indra said, and it seemed she watched Lexa carefully as she spoke Clarke’s name.

“She will not succeed, if that is the extent of her plot.” Lexa picked up one of her daggers from a corner of the map and hefted it in her hand. Clarke would never willingly bend to any plan with which she disagreed. “She will use Clarke against _Trikru_ ,” she said.

“An alliance with _Skaikru_?”

She nodded. “Clarke will never agree to such, but _Skaikru_ ’s leadership doesn’t always involve her.” She ran her fingers along the flat side of the blade. “If Nia captures her, however, she might bargain Clarke’s life for the alliance.”

Indra frowned. “Why would _Skaikru_ agree?”

“Because of what Clarke did at the mountain. She is valuable to _Skaikru_ , whether Abby remains Chancellor or not. She is a symbol to them, as well.” She set the dagger down on the map, its tip pointing at Arkadia, its hilt toward Niylah’s trading stop.

“Nia may seek an alliance without Clarke,” Indra said.

“Yes.”

“What can she offer?” Indra had tensed and her expression had acquired its usual fierce set.

“Protection.” And it dawned on her, then. “From _Trikru_. If Nia cannot acquire Clarke, she may stage an attack on _Skaikru_.”

Indra stared, comprehension dawning in her eyes. “And blame _Trikru_.” Her hand slid along the hilt of her sword.

“I will request a meeting with _Skaikru_.”

“ _Heda_ —”

She cut Indra’s statement off with a look. “Kane will agree.”

“After the mountain?”

Of Abby and Kane, she suspected that Kane was better able to understand her decision than Abby, whose judgment in this instance would be impaired because Clarke was her daughter. “We will see.”

“Is this wise, _Heda_?” Indra pressed.

“If Nia allies with _Skaikru_ , the _kongeda_ has little chance of success. She will war with _Trikru_ , and half the clans will be forced to choose sides.” She stared hard at Indra. “Nia seeks the Commander’s chair.”

“She is not of the chosen bloodline.”

“Would it matter, after a long war between the clans?” Her tone was harsh and Indra’s gaze narrowed. “She came to power through plot and war,” she added. “She can do the same again.”

Indra’s features relaxed in acceptance of Lexa’s pronouncement. “And what of Clarke?”

“She will do whatever she must for her people.”

“But it may be useful to speak with her before speaking with the Chancellor of _Skaikru_.”

“Perhaps. But we do not know Clarke’s current location and time may be short.” Lexa’s gaze was drawn back to the dagger lying on the map.

“I have scouts near the trading stop.”

Her gaze tracked to Indra’s.

“I instructed them to follow her if they see her and ensure her safety, as you directed,” Indra added. “Nothing more. Unless you order otherwise.”

“Send another scout at dawn to meet them. If they find Clarke, they will tell her that _Azgeda_ would enact an alliance with _Skaikru_ to war with _Trikru_ and they seek to use her. And they will tell her I seek a meeting with _Skaikru_.” She turned her attention back to the map. “If she refuses a scout escort to Arkadia, provide it anyway.”

Indra nodded. “ _Emo ste stelt_.” 3

“Yes. And I want two more scouts and a messenger prepared to leave for Arkadia by early afternoon.”

“It will be done, _Heda_.”

“And now, let us discuss a trap for Jos.”

Indra almost smiled.

  
1 _Nylah kom Trikru_ : Niylah from/of Tree Crew   
2 _plangona_ : warrior woman   
3 _Emo ste stelt_ : they’ll stay hidden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! Thank you SO MUCH for the comments and kudos. I try to answer all of them, but if I miss one or don't get to it right away, it's not because I'm willfully trying to not answer. It's because I haven't seen it or there was some kind of...LOOK SQUIRREL...
> 
> Anyway. I've said it before, but I'll say it again -- I really enjoy writing Lexa.
> 
> I also wanted to let everybody know that I'm laying a lot of groundwork here before our fave ship pulls up the anchor. It seemed to make more sense that both Clarke and Lexa would have time to process before having to deal with each other. Let's see if it works.
> 
> I really hope you stick with me for a few more chapters, cuz the meeting is coming and then it's Clexa time. These are two young, powerful women who have had to take on responsibilities that no sane person would want. There will be sparks, in all senses. But there's a lot of political crazy that's surrounding them all the time, and that's what I'm unfurling here.
> 
> So thanks, everybody! Hit me up in the comments or find me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Welder and Seed, "Sirens"; POLIÇA, "Lately"


	6. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke unpacks some shit and assesses. And thinks about Lexa. Because Lexa. And she also has her first convo with Octavia since she got back to Arkadia.

Clarke looked at herself in the mirror, and she didn’t recognize the woman who stared back, shifting uncomfortably in the clean shirt and trousers that weren’t hers, looking at her from beneath unruly blond hair. She slowly worked a brush through it, wincing when she hit a knot and would inadvertently pull on her scalp. Maybe she should cut her hair shorter. She thought then of Lexa, and the braids she wore. Each signified something and Clarke wished she had asked, when she had the chance.

There was a lot she wished she’d asked Lexa. She touched her lips, tentatively, remembering the feel of Lexa’s against hers, and how Lexa made her yearn for things she didn’t even know she wanted, how she could speak to Clarke without saying a word. Her lips, gentle and hungry, offering only what Clarke would accept, taking only what she’d give.

How could someone who could do that slide the knife of betrayal into her heart?

She stared in the mirror, finally willing to taste a bit of acceptance. How could Lexa not? She was Commander, and her obligations ran generations deep, sown into the soil that birthed and nurtured _Trikru_. Lexa could no more ignore her people than she could stop caring about Costia. Or Clarke. And that was a blade Lexa had been willing to take herself, trusting that maybe some day Clarke would understand. Clarke had been right, when she’d confronted Lexa in her tent before the mountain. She _could_ see right through her, _could_ see that Lexa may pretend not to have feelings or vulnerabilities, but she did and she’d shown them to no one. Except perhaps to her.

Or perhaps she simply understood Lexa on levels that she had yet to realize.

The brush caught again and she patiently worked it through, still not sure who the woman in the mirror was, behind the haunted eyes and gaunt face. She ran her fingers lightly across the bruises on her throat. They’d hurt even more tomorrow but she was used to physical discomfort. And in a way, the pain was a measure of her desire to survive.

She finished with the brush, but she stood for a while, holding it. She hadn’t been this clean in—she couldn’t remember when. And it felt like some kind of ritual cleansing, the time she’d taken in the shower. It felt strange, like a luxury she didn’t deserve, to indulge in a warm shower.

Carefully, she set the brush on the shelf above the bed and studied the room for a while. It reminded her of the confines of space, of the cell in which she’d spent so much of her time before the drop ship changed everything. At least there was a window here, and she could see the sky through it, so different than the all-encompassing darkness visible from the Ark, broken only by the sun rising over the horizon of the Earth below, and Clarke rarely got to see that after her father was floated.

But she drew it. Every day on the floor of her cell, with the chalk they let her have. Every day, she drew the Earth, and her father as she remembered him. It was like having him with her, the sketches on the floor. And it helped her remember him alive, rather than watching him blown out the airlock and knowing now that it was her mom who had set that in motion, and who let Wells take the blame. He had, willingly.

He had always been there for her, no questions, throughout their shared childhood. Wells had always been there, the Chancellor’s son and his unlikely friendship with Clarke, daughter of the senior environmental engineer. Even when Clarke believed her father had been floated because of Wells, the latter shouldered that, and let her hate him, so that she wouldn’t lose both parents. Wells would rather Clarke hate him than hate her mother. He’d been right, she realized when she found out the truth.

But in some ways, she understood, too, why Abby had done what she did. Abby had thought Chancellor Jaha would have realized that Jake’s findings needed to be told, to bring people together to find solutions. He didn’t, and the only thing that kept Clarke alive was the fact that she wasn’t eighteen, and that her life had been extended only because she was sent to the ground.

Some choice Abby had. Keep Clarke on the Ark imprisoned and probably floated when she turned eighteen because she, too, had known of her father’s findings, or send her to the ground to possibly die of radiation poisoning. Abby chose the ground, because there was a chance for Clarke there, whereas her life was definitely forfeit on the Ark.

So yes, she could even understand Abby. But she couldn’t forgive. Losing her father was not something she could forgive yet. Maybe ever.

Somehow, she preferred the honest brutality of the Grounders to the shifting loyalties of the Ark. At least she always knew where she stood with Grounders. She stared at the door, then at her battered pack and weaponry that rested on the floor next to the bed. She willed herself to walk toward the door, but she stood for another minute, fingers on the handle, debating whether she should take her knife. She decided not to, though she missed its weight at her side. She didn’t fit in Arkadia anymore, either. And she’d left a trail of death in her wake, from the drop ship to Mt. Weather, soaked in blood and ghosts.

Clarke pulled the door open and stepped over the threshold tentatively, as if she were expecting an attack.

The corridor was empty and she relaxed and made her way back to the medical bay. A few people walked past but she didn’t know them and they just looked at her curiously.

No one lingered outside medical, and she was glad, not just because she didn’t want to talk to people or have them hug her and welcome her back. She might have gone too long alone, and human contact outside the very few times she’d allowed Niylah to help her seemed awkward. And maybe she was afraid her ghosts would infect others, spreading the virus of destruction.

Irrational, but something that woke her up at night.

She entered medical for the second time that day and saw only one other person, thankfully.

“Hey,” Jackson said with a grin. “Nice to see you looking more like yourself.” He gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

“Not sure about that, but it does feel good to be clean. Is my—the Chancellor around?”

He motioned toward one of the exam rooms. “She’ll be done soon.” He seemed to want to say something more, but he didn’t. Instead, he continued inventorying the supplies in a lockbox that he’d set on one of the exam tables.

She sat down on one of the benches near the main door and watched Jackson for a moment before it dawned on her that the lockbox was from Mt. Weather. “Jackson—”

He looked up just as the exam room door opened.

“Think about it,” came Abby’s voice from the room’s interior as Raven exited.

Raven was about to reply when her gaze fell on Clarke and she stopped and stared.

Clarke stood up, not sure what to do, except sitting didn’t feel like the right thing. She waited for Raven to speak first, if she wanted to. Or if she didn’t want to, Clarke wasn’t in her way if she decided to leave without saying anything. And then Raven was moving toward her and Clarke braced for a fist or a shove but instead Raven gave her a rough hug.

“I have second dibs on kicking your ass for leaving,” Raven said as she released her. “But Bellamy said it wasn’t a fair fight until you had some time to rest. He has first dibs, by the way.” She smiled and it was like old times, almost. Raven still looked like Raven, still sounded like her, with her sparkling dark eyes and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. But there was pain in her eyes, the kind that medicine would never alleviate. Clarke knew that pain. She’d seen it in her own eyes.

“Good thing you called dibs,” she said. “Because that’s a long list.”

“Quiet.” Raven hugged her again. “See you soon.” She let go and left. Clarke watched her, thinking that she was moving well in her brace. Everybody carried wounds and scars and parts of this world they never expected. Strange, how she could feel so alive here, even in the midst of pain and death. Was that how it was before the bombs? Was this part of being human on the ground? Part of the new life they’d had to choose?

“Hi,” Abby said, and Clarke turned to look at her. “Hungry?” Abby asked, and Clarke was glad she didn’t comment on her hair or clothes or how much better she looked clean.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I’m sure you’re already aware that there are a few people who would like to see you.”

She nodded. “I should probably eat first.”

“You can do that in my quarters. I’ll have something sent up.”

She almost protested and then she remembered that Abby had a full-size table and she would have more privacy there, since people didn’t barge into the Chancellor’s quarters without reason. Plus, Abby’s quarters were accessible in this section of the Ark, without having to go outside or deal with populated corridors.

“All right.”

Her response seemed to startle Abby into a momentary silence, but she recovered nicely. “I’ll have somebody bring you something. Just go on up.”

“Okay. Thanks. See you later, Jackson.” She left before either of them could say anything else, but she sensed Abby’s gaze on her back all the way to the door.

###

Clarke looked up from her food at the knock on the door and she debated staying quiet, protected here in the Chancellor’s quarters, but knew that wasn’t the right approach so she got up and opened it.

She and Octavia stared at each other until Clarke stepped aside and motioned her in.

“You look like hell,” Octavia said as Clarke closed the door, and then she grinned.

Clarke relaxed and managed a smile. “So I’ve been told. How are you?”

She shrugged. “A lot’s happened since you left.” She crossed her arms, and a challenge lurked in her dark eyes, one she’d been issuing Clarke since the day they came to the ground. In moments like this, she reminded Clarke of Bellamy, in the stubborn set of her jaw and digs at her, testing her before agreeing to anything. Bellamy usually conceded Clarke’s points, but Octavia took much more convincing. She wished it was Bellamy who had shown up first, because he, at least, trusted her in matters like this.

“I know. And I need your help,” she said before Octavia could press any further. The statement seemed to catch her off guard, because she frowned. “What do you know about Ice Nation?” Clarke asked.

Her eyes narrowed. “Not a clan to mess with. Lincoln knows more.”

“We need to talk to him,” she said.

“What’s going on?”

“I think Ice Nation is trying to start a war with Lexa, and they’re going to do it by using us.”

“Have you seen Lexa?”

“Not since Mt. Weather.”

The challenge was back in Octavia’s eyes. “Then how would you know?”

She bit back her exasperation at this all too familiar standoff with her. “Some _Trikru_ contacts. And about a half-day away from here, I had a run-in with Ice Nation.” She touched the marks on her neck and Octavia’s gaze followed her hand.

The expression in her eyes shifted to concern. “How many?”

“Two. They had a _Trikru_ hostage who told me there were originally five. I think they were going to use the hostage as a set-up, and make it look like we did something to him, to start a fight with _Trikru_.”

“You’re thinking we should warn Lexa.” It was a statement, and Clarke was glad Octavia had voiced it because after Mt. Weather, she was sure Lexa was not popular at Arkadia.

“I already have. Hopefully, the former hostage will get it to Polis by tomorrow afternoon.”

Octavia’s expression hardened again. “So you’re basically still messing around in other people’s lives.”

She swallowed the retort she wanted to make because it would only make things worse. “You haven’t heard about Lexa’s efforts to build a _kongeda_?” she asked instead.

Octavia shrugged. “We’ve heard. Abby and Kane are staying out of it.”

“Staying out of what? Participating in it or just avoiding getting involved in any Grounder business?”

“Both. At least that’s what they want us to hear.” She lowered her arms, a little more relaxed.

“Come on,” Clarke said. “You know they always do that. But Ice Nation is going to try to drag us into a war whether we want one or not and the best way to avoid that is to ally with Lexa.”

She stared at her. “You’re serious.”

“If we don’t do this, Mt. Weather won’t mean anything, and there’ll be war between the clans again.” A war that would swallow everyone, including Arkadia.

“Why in the hell are you going to trust Lexa with anything?” The unspoken “after Mt. Weather” seemed to hang in the air between them.

“I don’t have a choice.”

“Spare me, Clarke. There’s always a choice.” She glared at her.

“And sometimes, none of them are good. But I do know we have a better chance of maintaining peace with Lexa than we do with Nia.” She said it with complete conviction, and Octavia seemed to relent a little.

“When do you have to talk to them?”

Clarke knew she meant Kane and Abby and whoever else wanted to pick her apart after her absence. “I don’t know. Tomorrow, probably.”

She frowned. “Bellamy’s not back yet.”

“Will you tell him what I said?”

Octavia’s expression was hard. “You should tell him yourself.”

“And I would, but if he’s not back before I have to talk to Kane and my mom, decisions could be made before he has input.”

She wavered. Clarke saw it in her eyes.

“Please. Have him check with Lincoln about Ice Nation.”

She nodded, her braids moving with the motion.

“Thank you.” When had Octavia had that many braids? They suited her, and Clarke saw in her someone who, like her, was neither _Skaikru_ nor Grounder, but somehow between both.

Octavia sighed. “I ought to punch you. It hasn’t been easy after you left. Bellamy took it hard.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say, so she stayed quiet.

“But as pissed and hurt as he was, he’d want to hear this, even though it’s coming from you.”

“I wasn’t in the best shape after Mt. Weather,” she said.

“And he was? We were? What about us, Clarke? You walked away. The rest of us didn’t have that choice.”

“You had each other.”

“We had you, too. But you shut us out. You shut Bellamy out. And every day since you left, he’s been out there busting his ass to find not only other survivors, but you. The great _Wanheda_.” She almost spat the last word.

Clarke’s temper rose. “I didn’t ask for that.”

“Quit being a martyr.”

“Is that what you think?”

Octavia didn’t respond, though everything about her body language bristled.

“I murdered three hundred people, most of whom did nothing to us. That wasn’t Bellamy’s decision. It was mine. I took that on so he wouldn’t have to. So none of you would have to. That didn’t come from martyrdom. It came from necessity, and I knew I wouldn’t be doing anybody any favors if I didn’t get away from the constant reminders of what that decision cost. Don’t think I haven’t paid that price every day since I made it.” Her chest ached with the memories and she wanted to run, to disappear into the darkness of the forest. She clenched her fists. “I may not belong here anymore, but I will damn sure do everything I can to prevent another bloodbath. And that’s what’s coming.”

Octavia regarded her for a long moment, then brushed past her to the door and slipped quietly into the corridor beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, wow. Clarke clearly has some work to do at Arkadia. And she's going to end up siding with Lexa in some regards...O_O
> 
> And as I chatted about in a couple of comments, I really hope y'all stay with me through my building of this infrastructure before Clarke and Lexa end up face-to-face. Which is coming, friends. Trust me! I wanted to give them that build-up, because I thought it would provide more opportunity for realistic interaction in terms of the baggage between them when they meet. So stick around! A lot is going to happen between now and the meeting, and threats are going to build, and political intrigue is going to swirl. And it will all feed into how and where they meet.
> 
> I wanted to thank everybody thus far for comments. I try to respond to them all, but if I haven't yet or I miss one, it's not cuz I'm trying to be an asshat. For realz! Swear! I'll get to 'em as soon as I can. Hit me up here in the comments or on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Bryce Fox, "Burn Fast"; Golden Vessel (feat. Lastlings), "Never Know"


	7. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Titus has found something out about Jos and how she might be getting messages out of the city. He takes it to Lexa. And then Indra shows up and says that there was a young man found outside the city with an Azgeda prisoner and he's got a message for Lexa. Hmm...

Lexa stood at the edge of the courtyard and watched as a dozen young clan members practiced fight stances and attacks. Maril worked with them this day, a skilled warrior with a natural inclination toward teaching. She approved, because he was always patient.

“If I may have a word, _Heda_ ,” Titus said behind her.

“Speak.”

He moved to her side. “It seems Polis has a weakness.”

She waited for him to elaborate, her hand resting on the pommel of a dagger at her hip. Titus worked quickly. She had just spoken to Indra the night before.

“It has been discovered that a _Trikru_ warrior here in the tower has been engaging with _Jos kom Azgeda_.”

She glanced at him then returned her gaze to the training ground. “Who?”

“Landis.”

She remained impassive, though she knew him from her own training days. “Has he another connection to _Azgeda_?”

“No. I have spoken with staff and the rumor of a dalliance between the two is confirmed.”

“When did it start?” The sharp crack of wood on wood rang out and a young man fell, grimacing in pain. A victorious young woman brandished her wooden staff and grinned, fierce. She glanced at Lexa, who nodded approval and the trainee beamed before she took her stance and prepared to start another exercise.

“Within three days of the ambassador’s arrival,” Titus said.

“She works quickly. Did he prove impressionable?” And how was it that no one noticed this? Or, if they had, that no one alerted her? She would be having a discussion with the staff and guards about it.

“Yes. He has taken messages outside the city.”

Her fingers stilled on the dagger’s hilt. “How is this known?”

“It seems Landis neglected a previous partner, who followed him.”

“How many messages?”

“At least two.”

“And why was I not alerted?”

“The former partner was uncertain about the nature of what Landis was doing. She informed staff, who informed me.”

She watched as the young female warrior was driven back by another adversary. “Danni,” she said. “ _Hod op_.”

The warrior stopped, as did her adversary. Both stood panting, holding their staffs at their sides.

“Do not lower your guard,” Lexa instructed. “The staff is part of your body. Move as if it is an extension of your arms.” Danni adjusted and Lexa nodded again. “Better. _Kigon_.” 1

The fight resumed. Titus remained silent.

“Who received these messages?” she said after watching Danni for a few more moments.

“That is something we have not yet determined, though I would offer that it is most likely _Azgeda_.”

“It seems that now we have the means to set a trap.” She turned to Titus. “I want Landis on sentry duty outside the ambassador’s quarters this night.”

“It shall be done. _Osir ai na raun._ "2

She nodded. “And follow. He may attempt to take a message out of the city come dawn. Inform me immediately if such is the case. I want to know where he goes, how he signals, and who retrieves it. I also want to know why this dalliance was not discovered earlier and if known, why it was not reported.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.” He inclined his head and retreated, leaving her to the shouts and grunts of the young warriors and the cracks of their staffs as they connected with each other.

Jos was indeed clever. Nia, as well, to choose her as ambassador to Polis. Landis, unfortunately, was a fool to give his life for betrayal, but Lexa could not mete out punishment until it was proven that he was involved in an _Azgeda_ scheme. Unfortunate, that one of her own soldiers had proven himself so easily manipulated. A fatal lesson to learn, and a tragic one, for many.

The training exercise stopped and she moved purposefully into the group, amidst murmurs of “ _Heda_ ” and respectful nods.

“ _Ron ai yu gon op_ ,”3 Lexa said to one of the trainees and he handed her the wooden staff he’d been working with. “ _Ai op_ ,”4 she said, and motioned for Maril to face her. The trainees cleared a space, and Lexa hefted the staff, testing its weight. “In close combat,” she said, “you must focus only on what is within your range of vision. Especially what is before you. Like a blade, your focus must be flat and sharp, because you do not have time to consider your decisions. You must act and react, and your weapons are an extension of that focus.” She looked at Danni. “Your weapon must be as part of your body.”

Lexa took a fighting stance in one smooth movement, the staff cradled in the crook of her left arm, her right palm raised toward Maril, a human version of a mountain, but a man surprisingly fast for his size. He also took his stance and nodded his readiness. “ _Heda_ ,” he said.

She lowered her arm and he attacked in a blur of motion. She dodged, and smacked him on the back of his thigh as he passed but immediately shifted to meet his next blow. Her mind quieted, her attention honed to the sharpest of blades, and the rhythmic crack of her staff on his bounced off the surrounding stone walls like drumbeats. He grunted, and within a few minutes, he was panting hard and sweat streamed down the sides of his face.

Maril was very strong, and might be able to wear an opponent like her down based on that alone, but she had learned how to conserve her energy, and force such opponents to expend their reserves much faster than she used hers, and that was exactly what happened.

She sidestepped a sloppy blow that might have knocked her out had it connected, and in a flurry of graceful steps and turns, she maneuvered her staff beneath his and suddenly, his was flying through the air to land with a clatter on the far side of the courtyard. For a moment, no one spoke and then Maril grinned.

“That is one of the reasons she is _Heda_ , _yongon_.” 5

“ _Mochof_ , _gona,_ ” she said with an answering smile, glad for the physical exertion. It helped to clear her thoughts. Maril went to retrieve his staff and Lexa motioned at the young man closest to her. “ _Yu. Jomp op_.” 6

He took a fighting stance and both Maril and Lexa corrected him then Lexa led him through a short series of attacks and retreats, adjusting his position as necessary. She was halfway through the group when Maril held his hand up.

“ _Hod op_ ,” he said, and he moved aside for Indra, who strode toward them.

“ _Heda_ , there is a matter that requires your attention.”

Lexa nodded and handed the staff to Maril. “ _Yo don gon os op, yongon_ ,”7 she said to the trainees and they stared at her, wide-eyed, for the praise. She turned to Indra and walked with her and three other warriors out of the courtyard. “Tell me,” Lexa said when they reached the street beyond, packed with foot traffic since they were very close to the market.

“A scout found someone in the forest who claims to have a message for you.”

“How far from the city?”

“Within three miles. He had an _Azgeda_ prisoner with him.”

The warriors in front muscled through a particularly crowded stretch of pedestrians and Lexa nodded in acknowledgement as people recognized her and moved out of the way faster, murmuring her title.

“Who is the prisoner?” she asked Indra.

“He will not say. He insists he must speak with you. I did not find it useful to pry it from him.”

“Oh?”

“He is young.”

As am I, she thought, but she knew Indra meant that he did not yet have the demeanor of full adulthood. She quickened her pace to the tower. Indra preceded her into the dim, cool interior of the ground floor corridor. Several warriors stood near the door to one of the small rooms often used as holding cells. At the sight of Lexa, they straightened to attention. Indra stopped at one of the doors and pushed it open. She drew her short sword and entered, Lexa behind her.

A filthy young man who couldn’t have reached his fifteenth summer sat on the lone bench and looked up, startled. From his appearance, he had only just started growing his first beard. Part of his shirt and one side of his face were crusted with dried blood from a wound over his eye that still seeped.

“ _Gyon op_ ,”8 Indra ordered and he stood.

His gaze fell on Lexa. “ _Heda_ ,” he said, almost reverent.

She nodded. “I am told you have a message.”

“ _Sha_. _Ai laik Zander kom Trikru_.” 9

Lexa knew the name. “You are Niylah’s family, then?”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, relief in his eyes. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_ sent me with a message.”

She betrayed nothing at the sound of the name on his lips. “What is this message?”

“ _Azgeda_ may seek to start a war between _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_. She fears _Azgeda_ will try to ally with _Skaikru_ or perhaps Nia will attempt to capture her to weaken _Trikru_.” He said it in one long breath, as if he had been practicing, to make sure he had all the details correct.

“Where is _Klark kom Skaikru_ now?”

“She went to Arkadia to stop an alliance with _Azgeda_ , should Nia seek one.”

“When?” Though outwardly her appearance remained placid, her heart had sped up, a mixture of worry for Clarke and a strange kind of pleasure that she’d contacted her.

“Dawn, yesterday. We were a half-day from Arkadia. I can show you on a map.”

“So you will. Who is the warrior you brought?”

“I do not know. She will not speak, though she still fights.” He gestured at his head. “I was captured after I left Niylah’s trading stop. There were five, all _Azgeda_. Three left, two others took me with them.” He paused and cleared his throat a little. “ _Wanheda_ found me.”

At the title he used, Indra glanced at her, but Lexa kept her focus on him.

“The warrior I brought is one who held me prisoner until _Wanheda_ freed me.”

“Where is the other?” Lexa asked.

“Dead.”

She motioned with her head at Indra to step outside with her, though they left the door open.

“ _Yu na ai em op_ ,”10 Indra ordered one of the guards. He nodded and placed himself in the doorway to the holding cell, though Lexa didn’t think it was necessary. Zander wore his loyalty to her and Clarke openly, like a marking on skin.

“Clarke may already be at Arkadia,” Lexa said in a low voice.

Indra frowned. “Why should we believe this messenger?”

“He lost his parents to the _Maunon_.”

Indra grunted, a soft sound of acquiescence, though her expression remained skeptical.

“ _Heda_ ,” Zander called.

Lexa motioned at the guard to move. He stood aside and she faced Zander again. “Speak.”

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ said you would believe me, but she gave me this, too.” He removed one of the leather thongs from around his neck and carefully started to pull the part of it out that was hidden in his shirt. Indra’s hand went to the handle of her short sword, and Zander froze.

“Indra, _Hod op_.” She looked at Zander and motioned for him to continue.

He finished pulling what Lexa immediately recognized as Clarke’s father’s watch out of his shirt. She stared at it and he handed the thong on which it dangled to her, as if it were a sacred object.

She understood the care he took, because she would do the same, in his position. Even though he didn’t know the symbolism of the watch, he knew it was special to Clarke, and he had taken care of it for her and brought it here. As her fingers closed around it, her heart seemed to ache at the enormity of the gesture. Clarke entrusted her father’s watch to her, even in the wake of Mt. Weather.

“How do we know he didn’t kill her and take it?” Indra growled.

Zander’s eyes widened in horror and he straightened in offense. “ _Wanheda_ avenged my family. She avenged all our families and ensured that no more would be lost to the _Maunon_.”

“Indra,” Lexa said with the patient yet authoritative tone she usually reserved for children frustrated in training. “ _Bants_. _Ai na chich em op_.” 11

She nodded once, stiffly, and stepped out of the room, but Lexa knew she would stay close.

“ _Zander kom Trikru_ ,” Lexa said, “ _ron ai ridiyo op._ ”12

He stared at her, expression grave. “I will always speak such.”

“Good. Now tell me, where did you get this?” She held the watch up.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ gave it to me to prove her message,” he repeated, earnest. “I worried that you would not believe me, _Heda_ , but she said to tell you that the message came from her, and you would listen.”

His eyes reflected the truth of his statement. Lexa nodded, satisfied. “Indra.”

She stepped back in. “ _Heda_.”

“See to it that _Zander kom Trikru_ is fed and his wounds attended to.”

“Shall I bring him to the council room after?”

“Yes. And bring two fresh scouts, as well.”

“And the scouts to Arkadia?”

“Not yet. I want to hear more.” She looked at Zander and he nodded.

“ _Sha, Heda_. I will tell you all.”

“And the _Azgeda_ warrior?” Indra asked.

“Leave her where she is. We will speak with her later.” Let her wonder, for a while, what fate she might meet. She motioned for Indra to take Zander from the room then stood alone for a while, staring at the watch still cradled in her palm, its band stiff with grime. She ran her thumb over it, imagining that it held some tiny part of Clarke, embedded beneath its surface, like how parts of Clarke had embedded themselves beneath the armor Lexa wore and the armor she carried within.

They had come to the same conclusions, she thought, about what Nia’s machinations might be. Clarke should be at Arkadia now, and she would no doubt be working already to sway Kane and Abby to enter an alliance with _Trikru_ , even after the mountain. Lexa knew not to weight Clarke’s decision and message with anything more than her interest in preserving _Skaikru_ , but against her will, a tiny flame stirred deep within among the ashes that marked her past. Or maybe it wasn’t so much against her will as it was against her wishes.

She closed her hand around the watch and left the room.

  
1 _kigon_ : continue; keep going   
2 _Osir ai na raun_ : We will watch; keep watch   
3 _Ron ai yu gon op_ : Give me your weapon   
4 _Ai op_ : Watch (me)   
5 _yongon_ : children; youngsters   
6 _Yu. Jomp op_ : You. Attack   
7 _Yo don gon os up, yongon_ : You (plural) did well, children/youngsters   
8 _Gyon op_ : stand/get up.   
9 _Ai laik Zander kom Trikru_ : I am Zander from/of Trikru   
10 _Yu na ai em op_ : You (singular) watch him.   
11 _Bants_... _Ai na chich em op_ : Leave. I'll speak with him.   
12 _Ron ai ridiyo up_ : speak truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIYA, kids! Happy Fanfic Friday! So here we are again and I'm serving up a big ol' heaping helping of LEXA with this chapter.
> 
> This is a turning point of sorts chapter for Lexa in terms of Clarke. At least, that's how it felt to me. Without giving too much away, Lexa is starting to feel better about the chances of an alliance with Sky Crew (you'll see why), but she's also realizing that dammit, Clarke means a hell of a lot more than she intended. But because she's Lexa, she will compartmentalize to get the job done. At least for now. And I love poking around in her compartmentalization.
> 
> Anyway! The meeting between these two strong, young women is coming. I'm still laying some groundwork, because I don't want the freaky scary baggage that plagued them in the TV show, with Clarke still really raw.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and hit me up in the comments section or on Twitter: @andimarquette. If I don't get to your comment right away, it's cuz I'm running around nutso. It doesn't mean I don't LUUUUV you. Swear. I'll get to it ASAP! THX!
> 
> A few songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Kiiara, "Feels"; Lime Cordiale, "Not that Easy"; ATB, "Trace of Life"


	8. Debriefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's first attempt to convince Arkadia higher-ups that they should totes ally with Lexa and not Ice Nation. Abby's in Chancellor mode, but Kane and Sinclair are there. But so is Sanders, the head of the Guard at Arkadia. And a couple of guys you might know show up, too.

Clarke looked across the table at Kane, who was frowning as he considered her statements. He had allowed his beard to grow and it suited him, she decided. Sinclair offered her an encouraging smile, but he didn’t say anything. Abby’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Clarke knew she wasn’t on board yet. She withheld a frustrated sigh and wished she’d been able to sleep more than the couple of hours her nightmares had finally granted her the night before.

She also really wished Bellamy was here, as angry and hurt as he was. Instead, Sanders, the leader of the Guard sat in, a man she barely knew and someone who hadn’t had much to do with her in the past. He was not part of the original drop ship group, and she guessed he hadn’t dealt much with Grounders beyond what had happened at Mt. Weather. She guessed he would be opposed to any alliance with anyone. Which was better than allying with Ice Nation, but not good enough.

“And you’re certain that this Ice Nation is maneuvering to start a war?” Kane finally asked.

“Not entirely,” she admitted. “But from the information I was able to gather, Ice Nation is the most untrusted of the clans, and most of that is because of Nia, their leader.”

“Why would they want to start another war?” Abby leaned forward, and Clarke recognized the skeptic in her, though she knew that given hard choices, her mother would make them.

“Damn Grounders are always fighting,” muttered Sanders and she gave him a hard stare. He had leaned back in his chair, arms over his chest, and he seemed to have a perpetual smirk.

“Only because they’ve had to,” Kane said. “The ground isn’t an easy place to live, and the people at Mt. Weather made it even harder.”

Clarke silently thanked him for that.

“Back to my question,” Abby said and looked at her.

“There’s a long history between Nia and Lexa. Nia doesn’t just want to remain Ice Nation leader. She wants Lexa’s position, which is commander of the clans. From what I’ve heard, Nia is far worse than Lexa.”

“Worse than leaving us all to die at Mt. Weather?” Abby said.

“Abby—” Kane started.

“No,” Clarke said, struggling to remain calm, “it needs to be said. Lexa took a deal from the Mountain Men. I knew she was—and is—loyal to her people first, but I didn’t understand what exactly that meant until that day.”

“She left you—all of us—to die.” Abby’s tone was flat, and though Clarke knew she was in her Chancellor role, it still stung.

She managed to hold Abby’s gaze. “I can’t say I wouldn’t have made the same decision. I killed three hundred to save forty-seven,” she said softly. “We do things we never thought we were capable of when it comes to our people.” And as she said it, she might have understood a little more why Lexa took the deal, though it still didn’t sit right with her heart. Maybe it never would, but she could at least live a little easier with it now.

“None of us is clean,” Kane said.

Abby glanced at him then back at Clarke. “It sounds to me that the best course here is what we’ve been doing. Stay clear of Grounder matters.”

“Amen to that,” Sanders said.

Kane sighed. “Clarke may have a point, though. Invariably, living here means we have to deal with local politics. It might not be a bad idea to have some agreements in place with local Grounders. From what I’ve seen, they may be brutal, but they do take agreements seriously.”

Clarke shot Abby a look, and waited for her to say something else about Lexa and Mt. Weather, but she didn’t.

“Clarke’s always had the best interests of the Ark at heart,” Sinclair said. “Well, what’s left of the Ark, anyway. She’s been right about the Grounders in the past, and went through hell to achieve even this bit of peace we’re in right now. I’m on board with talking to Lexa.”

“I’m not.” Sanders pulled on his beard. “Hell, no. You can’t trust them. Most of them are worse than wild animals.”

“Because Mt. Weather put them in that position,” Clarke snapped back. “You didn’t see what was going on in there, for the last several decades.”

“Clarke raises a good point,” Kane said, and she remembered how he had been on the Ark, with his petty power trips and insistence on the Ark’s brutal rules. They weren’t much better than Grounders, when she thought about it. Maybe worse, floating people for the smallest things. How different the ground could make you, and she appreciated Kane’s exposure of it and evolution in his understanding of nuance. “But I’m not sure what the proper course of action is. Should we table this matter for further consideration?” he asked.

“Yes,” Abby said. “I move that we do so, and retain our existing position for now.”

“Second,” Kane said.

“Yes,” from Sanders.

Sinclair frowned and everybody looked at him. “I think we should consider talking to Lexa sooner rather than later.”

Sanders made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. Sinclair ignored him.

“We’ve dealt with Lexa in the past,” he continued. “Clarke more than any of us. I’m going with her judgment here, and if she thinks these Ice Nation people are something to worry about, then they probably are. Plus, I like having peace, as uneasy as it is. And we all know Lexa’s been trying to establish a coalition to maintain that. I think it’s in our best interests to work with her on it.”

“Maybe the best thing we can do is stay out of her way,” Abby said. “Just let her get the foundation in place.”

“She can’t without us,” said another voice and everybody looked up as Bellamy entered the room, followed by Lincoln. Relief washed through Clarke, along with a little trepidation about how he would respond to her. “Sorry for the interruption,” he added, looking at Abby. “Lincoln and Octavia found signs that someone is watching us.”

Sanders sat up straighter.

“Who?” Abby asked.

“Possibly Ice Nation,” Bellamy said, and he finally caught Clarke’s gaze. Octavia had talked to him, Clarke saw in his eyes. She had believed her and told Bellamy and for the first time since she’d returned, Clarke felt an old acceptance, a bond that had been forged after the drop ship landed. He looked as she remembered, his dark hair unruly and trimmed just below his ears. Lincoln’s scalp was still shaved, but his eyes, like Bellamy’s, carried Mt. Weather ghosts. Maybe everybody did, who was there.

“You said you had a run-in with a couple of them not too far from here, right?” he asked her, getting right to business, for which she was glad.

“Yeah. A half-day northwest. Warriors, probably scouts.” She hadn’t said anything about Zander or the message she’d sent to Polis at this meeting, and from the look Bellamy exchanged with her, she knew he wouldn’t mention anything she didn’t bring up. In spite of the past few weeks, in spite of all that had happened at the mountain, he still seemed to trust her.

“Could be any Grounder,” Sanders said. “They’re always sneaking around.”

Lincoln kept his eyes on Clarke, expression unreadable.

“Except you,” Sanders added to Lincoln with a smirk.

“If Lincoln says he found something, he did,” Clarke said.

“It could’ve been anybody,” Sanders retorted.

“Not Woods Clan.” Lincoln’s gaze had not wavered from Clarke.

“How’s that?” Sanders sat back, supercilious.

He turned his head, slowly, and nailed Sanders with his piercing stare. “We don’t leave obvious sign in the forest.”

“So there is a chance it’s Ice Nation,” Kane said, placing himself smoothly between Lincoln and Sanders. He looked at Bellamy for confirmation.

“Very good chance,” Bellamy said. “Woods Clan scouts keep to a five-mile perimeter, as agreed with Lexa after Mt. Weather. We ran into a couple yesterday, and they said to be watchful, that Ice Nation had an encampment of some kind near Polis. Not a war party, but something out of the ordinary. They said Lexa knew about it and was monitoring.”

“There you go. She’s got it under control. We can stay out of it.” Sanders sat forward again.

“It’s never that simple,” Sinclair said. “Of course she’s keeping an eye on possible hostiles in her territory. The problem is, those hostiles sound like they want to bring their business to us. I, for one, don’t want to be at odds with hostiles. Or with Lexa. Given a choice, I’ll take Lexa. She’s a known quantity.”

“What’s wrong with an alliance with hostiles?” Sanders said. “Maybe we should take our chances with these Ice Nation Grounders. It seems all the other clans are scared of them, so maybe we should be working with them. Strong-man them all.” He shrugged. “Though why any of you want to work with Grounders is beyond me.”

“Because they’re here,” Clarke said. “And they know a lot more about the ground than we do.”

“And because _we’re_ here,” Sinclair said, “we’ll get drawn into local conflicts.”

Clarke gave him the barest of nods and he winked at her in support.

“Well. This is definitely a matter for revisiting,” Abby said. “Let’s reconvene in two days. In the meantime, let’s put extra patrols on the perimeter.”

“Maybe we should send someone to Polis.”

The room went silent at Kane’s suggestion.

“Why?” Sanders again, impatient.

“Sometimes diplomacy sends a better message than neutrality. And Lexa _is_ a known quantity.” He looked at Sinclair, then Clarke.

“That’s a matter for discussion in two days.” Abby started to get up, the tone in her voice intractable.

“I’ll go to Polis,” Clarke said, and Bellamy looked at her.

Abby’s gaze bored into hers. “We’ll discuss it in two days.”

Clarke started to push the issue, but Bellamy shook his head, a tiny motion, and she went quiet. She had been gone for weeks, after all. It might be best for Bellamy to guide her through this for a bit.

“Thank you, all,” Kane said. “And Clarke, it’s good to have you back.”

She managed a tight smile as she stood. “Thanks.”

Sanders got up and left without a backward glance but Sinclair came around the table and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Stop by the shop later.”

She nodded.

“I’ll be in medical,” Abby said before she, too, left. Clarke recognized the brush-off. Abby was pissed but didn’t want to start an argument.

“Ice Nation is planning something,” Clarke said to Kane once Abby was gone. “We can’t ignore this, or pretend we’re neutral. Lexa may be trying to build a coalition, but she can’t do that without a united front. We don’t get to be a satellite anymore now that we’re on the ground. Lincoln?”

He nodded. “Ice Nation has not agreed to the coalition. Nia is stalling.” He caught Clarke’s gaze again. She was actually comforted by his presence, by his calm assessment of her and the situation. Was that a Grounder thing, she wondered, to be completely in whatever moment was happening? Niylah was similar in that regard and so, to a degree, was Lexa, though she’d never really gotten to know Lexa outside her armor. She wished she had.

“And now they’re probably watching us,” Bellamy said.

Kane ran a hand through his hair. “But what for? If they want an alliance, why don’t they approach us directly? Especially since they know what happened at Mt. Weather, when Lexa took that deal.”

“Clarke.”

She looked at Bellamy, confused. “What?”

“That’s the reason,” he said.

“Yes,” Lincoln agreed.

She looked at him. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re _Wanheda_.” Bellamy said with no trace of sarcasm. “Lincoln says that your reputation carries a lot of weight with Nia. There’s a bounty on you, after all. All the clans owe you a debt—including Ice Nation—and you have a better history with Lexa than Nia does.”

“So what?” Kane looked from Clarke to Bellamy.

“So it makes more sense that we would work with Lexa over Ice Nation, since we have in the past and we worked the agreement after Mt. Weather about establishing some territory boundaries. We haven’t worked with Ice Nation. Nia needs to find something that would make us want to ally with her.”

“Or,” Clarke said, “she’ll manufacture a reason, and set up _Trikru_ to take a fall.”

“Yes,” Lincoln said quietly. “Nia is not to be trusted.”

She nodded and motioned at him. “And he’d know.”

Kane grimaced and sighed. “Bring this up at the next meeting.”

“We need to talk about it now,” Clarke pressed. “Because the longer we wait, the worse things might get.”

“I’m not Chancellor.”

“But you have a better sense than most about politics on the ground, and you know Lexa. With an alliance, we’d have access to the power of at least eleven clans, barring Ice Nation.”

Kane pursed his lips. “I thought all the clans allied with Lexa against the Mountain Men.”

“They did,” Lincoln said. “But _Heda_ works to keep the alliance intact even now that the threat from the mountain is over. Nia does not want to bow to her.”

“Which is why Nia would consider an alliance with us,” Clarke continued. “As a way to undermine Lexa and even try for a coup.”

Kane frowned.

“Lexa’s a lot of things,” she went on, “but she takes her duties seriously, and if we’re in a formal arrangement with her, then she’s duty-bound to offer protection and alliance as necessary.” And no one was more inflexible about her responsibilities than Lexa. Outside a formal agreement, it seemed you took your chances with her. Inside one, she would probably die to fulfill its requirements. In some things, she was honorable to a fault. In others, she still held on to duty, which was honorable in some ways, but not so much in others.

“Look,” Bellamy said. “There’s somebody out there watching us. Woods Clan scouts gave us a heads up, too. Clarke’s had a run-in with Ice Nation a half-day from here. That’s a lot of circumstantial evidence that somebody’s planning something and we’re stupid if we don’t try to figure out what it is and take precautions.”

She wanted to hug him.

“I’m not Chancellor,” Kane said again. “But I’ll do what I can.” He gave Clarke’s shoulder a squeeze, like Sinclair had. “Keep me posted on anything.”

She watched him leave then looked at Bellamy. “Thank you.”

He half-smiled. “How is it wherever you go, you always end up in the middle of shit?”

“Lucky, I guess.”

“You know, you’re at the top of my list for an ass-kicking.”

“I do know. I think I probably deserve it.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Nobody kicks your ass better than you do and I’ll bet that’s what you’ve been doing for the past three months, at least.”

She had no reply, since he was right. And then he pulled her into a hug. “I might be pissed at you still, but I’m glad you’re back.”

For all his bluster, Bellamy cared deeply about the people in his life. She’d sparred with him since they came to the ground, but he had supported most of her decisions, and backed her up when it seemed nobody else would. Plus, they shared the horrors of Mt. Weather, though ultimately, it was Clarke’s decision to pull the lever and radiate the three hundred residents. She hadn’t done it alone, though. He’d put his hand over hers, trying to carry some of the burden.

“I’m sorry,” she said near his ear, hoping he didn’t have the nightmares she did. The material of the Guard’s jacket he wore was scratchy against her cheek.

He released her and for a moment, it looked like tears welled in his eyes. “Me, too. I wish you hadn’t gone, but I think I get why you did. I’d order you not to do that again, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t listen.”

“I might.”

He half-smiled. “Only if you thought it would put people in danger to stay. Now come on. Probably better to talk more outside.”

Lincoln was waiting for them in the corridor. Clarke hadn’t realized he had stepped out to give them a bit of privacy.

“There’s a lot to catch up on,” Bellamy said. “And I’m not going to guarantee that I won’t still kick your ass, but in the meantime, welcome home.”

His words warmed her, but she still couldn’t bring herself to think of the Ark as home anymore. Maybe home was more about the people in your life, because Bellamy felt like home in some ways. So did Octavia and Lincoln. And she knew, though she wanted to deny it, that Lexa did, too. At least she had, before Mt. Weather. And now here Clarke was, not quite Sky Crew, not quite Grounder, but trying to negotiate a bridge between them all.

Bellamy was right. She somehow always ended up in the middle of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go with Clarke trying to get Arkadia on board with her "let's not hate Lexa totally because we really need her to deal with Ice Nation, whose queen might be kind of cray-cray" plan. And how weird must that be for Clarke, to defend Lexa after the mountain? Fortunately, Clarke has other allies at Arkadia, and a couple of them show up in this chapter.
> 
> All of this build-up, friends, allows Clarke to deal with a lot of her crap where Lexa's concerned, because Nia's threat could undo everything that happened at the mountain. Given who Clarke is, she just can't let that happen, and she will do everything in her power to stop it. Plus, it gives her a focus on something other than the betrayal, and forces her to think about Lexa in different ways.
> 
> So stay with me, friends. The meeting is coming...
> 
> Anyhoo, thanks so much for the comments thus far and thank you to all who have stopped by and who are reading this. MUCH appreciated! Hit me up there if you want, or on Twitter: @andimarquette. I try to answer comments ASAP, but if I don't, hang in there! I'm on my way!
> 
> Some of the songs I listened to while writing this here chapter thingie: Lauren Aquilina, "Kicks"; Meg Mac, "Roll Up Your Sleeves"; Disclosure and Lorde, "Magnets"


	9. Friends, Foes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds a welcoming space at Arkadia with Monty, Bellamy, Lincoln, and Octavia as they figure out where to patrol the next day in an attempt to determine who watches Arkadia. And then someone not so welcoming shows up.

“So when did you all become part of the Guard?” Clarke tugged on Monty’s jacket. It was weird to see him like this, one of the original delinquents sent to the ground. Now here he was, serving the Ark in this capacity. At least physically he looked the same. She wondered where Jasper was, and whether he’d ever talk to her again, or if Maya’s death at the mountain was a wound too deep to heal.

“A couple of weeks after Mt. Weather,” he said with a smile. “Can’t say it’s my favorite job, but we do get to drive around a lot.”

“Raven and Monty figured that it’s possible Farm and Tesla Stations might have more survivors that we haven't found yet. So we keep patrolling.” Bellamy sipped from his cup then leaned forward and tossed another stick into the firepit, which someone had built a few feet behind the garage, out of sight of the main structure of Arkadia. Bellamy, Clarke, and Monty sat on empty supply tins while Octavia sat on the ground with Lincoln, across the fire from Clarke, comfortable like that and with him. She envied her, the ease with which she moved between cultures.

“Where’s Raven?” Clarke asked.

“Obsessed with her latest project,” Monty said. “She’s working on developing better comm devices for patrols, so we can stay in touch with Arkadia.”

“If anybody could do it, it’s her.” Clarke hadn’t had any of the liquor Bellamy had poured her and the cup stayed on the ground near her feet. She had never liked the taste of it, but she was also afraid that in her present emotional state, if she started drinking it, she wouldn’t stop.

“Where did you run into the two Ice Nation Grounders?” Bellamy asked after another few moments of comfortable silence. He set his cup down and took a folded-up map out of his jacket pocket and spread it out on the ground by his feet and Clarke moved closer to see it better in the firelight. “This is where Lincoln and O saw the signs of watchers.” He tapped a spot.

Clarke studied it for a bit. “About here.” She pointed at a spot that was roughly a couple of miles from the watcher sign, which put the latter between the location where Clarke had found Zander and Arkadia.

“They were inside the perimeter set with _Heda_ ,” Lincoln said, and Clarke’s chest tightened. Funny, how even an innocuous mention of Lexa’s title could make her think about her and, disconcertingly, the first memory that came up was the moment in the tent when the Commander kissed her.

“How many?” she asked.

“Two.” Lincoln gestured at the map. “Had to be scouts.”

“Would there be a camp somewhere between here and Polis?” Clarke examined the map again. “Besides the one near it.”

“Maybe,” Lincoln said. “But they don’t need one. They can meet other scouts at certain places to pass news along.”

“So there basically might be a bunch of scouts from Ice Nation roaming around in the woods. That’s what you’re saying?” Monty looked at Lincoln.

“Basically, yeah,” Octavia responded, and adjusted her position.

“What do we do?” Monty looked at Clarke.

“I sent a message to Lexa.”

His eyes widened. “Okay, first, how? And second, _Lexa_?”

Octavia snorted a soft laugh.

“There was a _Trikru_ hostage with the Ice Nation warriors. I know him and trust him. If nothing bad happened, he should be in Polis now.”

“Okay, fine.” Monty still stared at her. “But seriously. Lexa?”

“She’s a known quantity,” Clarke said, repeating what had been said in the earlier meeting. “We’re better off working with her than with Ice Nation, which I think is trying to start some kind of war between us and _Trikru_.

Monty sighed. “How can you trust her?”

“I don’t,” Clarke said, but her words didn’t ring true in her mouth. “Not entirely,” she amended. “But in situations like this, I do. She may not support us, or want much to do with us, but if she agrees to an alliance, it strengthens her position against Ice Nation. An alliance with us helps her people. She wouldn’t do it otherwise.”

“Who are these Ice Nation people, exactly?” Monty glanced at Lincoln.

“Apparently, the most brutal of the clans,” Clarke answered. “And from what I’ve heard, they have the most treacherous leader.”

“Yes,” Lincoln said. “As long as Nia leads Ice Nation, there will always be war or the threat of it. Nia has fought _Heda_ since her Ascension.”

“What the hell’s wrong with her?” Monty asked, and Clarke smiled at the near-innocence of the question. The ground hadn’t ruined him, yet. In spite of everything he’d been through and seen, he still retained the gentle parts of his soul and she hoped he never lost them.

“She wants Lexa’s position,” Clarke said. “Her power. And to rule all the clans.”

“She can never be Commander.”

Clarke looked over at Lincoln and waited for him to elaborate but he didn’t.

“So what’s the plan? We can get a lot done in two days,” Bellamy said. He looked from Monty to Clarke and for the first time in weeks she felt a sense of belonging and purpose, the light touch of focus without the faces of ghosts—something she hadn’t had since Mt. Weather.

“I say we see if we can figure out who’s watching.” Octavia reached for Bellamy’s map. “We should go halfway to the perimeter and work our way from there to the boundary with _Trikru_.”

“Do you think we can find _Trikru_ scouts?” Clarke asked Lincoln. “They may know more.”

“Possibly,” he said. “If they haven’t returned to Polis.”

“Speaking of, why are they surveying the perimeter?” Bellamy asked.

“Because _Trikru_ needs to know if and when things happen in their territory,” Octavia said, a little sharply.

“They don’t breach the perimeter,” Lincoln said. “But _Azgeda_ is clearly in the forest, so they seek to know more.”

Clarke looked at Lincoln and Octavia. “If we can talk to them, they might know something we don’t about Ice Nation. Plus, it gives us more eyes on the perimeter.” She got up so she could look at the map again. “Would they agree to take some time to check around for us? They’re better in the forests than we are.”

Lincoln shrugged. “They will if you ask them.”

“What do you mean?”

“If _Klark kom Skaikru_ requests such, they will do it.”

She stared at him, puzzled. “Why? I don’t personally know that many _Trikru_.”

“Because of what you and _Skaikru_ did at the mountain.”

“I don’t—”

Bellamy put his hand on her arm. “It’s becoming local legend. There’s nothing you can do about that.”

“It shouldn’t.” Threads of anxiety wrapped around her heart. “It should just be left alone.”

“Hey,” he said. “It’s okay.”

“I didn’t want this.”

“Clarke,” Monty said, “Lincoln’s people were terrorized and murdered for years. Decades. That’s something people are going to talk about, especially since they don’t have to worry about it happening again.”

“People died because of what happened,” Clarke said. “Good people.”

“And good people will die tomorrow,” Bellamy said. “Some probably died today. Good people will always die. All we can do is help when we can, and sometimes there’s a lot of pain involved. It sucks, but that’s what happens.”

“Clarke,” Lincoln said.

She looked at him.

“ _Trikru_ will not forget what you and others of _Skaikru_ have done. And we have a common enemy, so if we find the scouts tomorrow or the next day, we can ask to share information.”

She relaxed a little and wondered what Lexa was telling her people about the mountain. Octavia put her head on Lincoln’s shoulder and watching them, Clarke’s lips tingled at the memory—again—of Lexa’s kisses, and she decided that Lexa was telling her people the truth, telling them that the reason she was able to free them was because _Skaikru_ made it possible. Even in betrayal, she would be honest about that, about her reasons for taking the deal, and she would not claim glory that wasn’t hers. Clarke supposed there was a bit of comfort for the wound to her heart in those aspects of Lexa’s personality, and she clung to it.

“So the plan is, we patrol near the perimeter and see if we can figure out who’s watching us.” Monty looked around the small group and everybody murmured assent.

“First light,” Bellamy said. “We’ll drive to this point—” he pushed at a spot on the map, “and then we’ll split up. Some in the vehicle, others walking. We’ll meet back at the drop-off place late afternoon. We’ll log it as a routine patrol.”

“Can you get away?” Monty asked Clarke.

“I have to.”

“Abby will be checking on you.” Bellamy returned the map to his pocket.

“Doesn’t matter. This needs to be done.”

He nodded. “All right. Get some sleep.”

She got up. “See you tomorrow,” she said and left the light and warmth of the fire.

“Hey.” Bellamy caught up to her. “I’ll walk you home.”

“How chivalrous of you,” she said, and smiled.

He chuckled and it was almost like before the mountain, when they worked together to stay alive another day. How wide was the gulf between them now?

“Well, if it isn’t Clarke of the Sky People,” someone slurred nearby.

She recognized the voice and tensed, but stopped walking, to hear what she knew was another list of grievances.

“Guess you decided to grace us with your presence again,” Jasper said. “Let’s see. How is that possible…oh, yeah. You _lived_.”

“Jasper.” Bellamy’s tone carried a warning. Clarke didn’t recognize him at first, as his hair was shaved close to his scalp and he, too, wore a Guard jacket.

“What? I’m just welcoming the great Clarke of the Sky People back. Gee, thanks. Nice of you to finally join us.”

“Go home,” Bellamy said.

“What’s the matter?” Jasper lurched closer to her and stared into her eyes. “Mountain got your tongue?”

“That’s enough, Bellamy snapped. “You’re on report.”

“Darn. Guess you’ll have to float me. Oh, right. You can’t, because we’re on the ground. How about _you_ float off?” He reeked of liquor and even in the dim light from the structures behind them, she could see ghosts in his eyes. She knew them well.

“It’s okay,” she said to Bellamy. “You don’t need to report him.”

Jasper swayed a little, bleary-eyed. She doubted he’d remember much of this exchange. Unfortunately, she would remember everything about it.

“I’ve got him.” Monty appeared and took Jasper’s arm. “Sorry,” he said to her. “He’s not doing very well.” To Bellamy, he said, “I’ll take care of this.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Clarke said as Monty led him away. About so many things. There weren’t enough apologies in the world to mitigate what she’d done at Mt. Weather, and there was nothing she could say or do that would banish the phantoms that clung to him.

“It’s not your fault,” Bellamy said.

“Yes, actually, it is.”

“You’re not responsible for how he handles his grief. That’s on him.”

She gritted her teeth and stared at him for a moment. “I’m tired. See you tomorrow.” She moved away and this time, Bellamy didn’t follow, perhaps sensing that she needed time to think, to sort through this strange collision of past and present, all reframed by the mountain. As she collapsed on the bed in the room Abby had given her, she wished for a quiet presence, for someone who didn’t judge or expect or demand. Someone who would understand choices like the one she’d made, and who would keep watch while she slept. “Lexa,” Clarke whispered to the dark, “Why can’t I hate you?”

She closed her eyes and wished for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got totally excited and posted THREE CHAPTERS today (Fanfic Friday! WOOOO!). Here, Clarke's back in familiar company with some of her posse and they have to figure out WTF is going on with those watchers in the woods (omg that's a movie, y'all, from back in the day!). Clarke also reiterates her point that Lexa is their best chance at dealing with this. I totally love Monty and his reactions to her statements about that.
> 
> So we've got Clarke and Bellamy coming up with a plan for dawn patrol to see what's out there and even though Clarke should probably be getting some sleep, we all know that when she's got something to deal with, she likes making plans and having things in motion. 
> 
> I liked writing this chapter and Chapter 8 for that reason. I liked exploring the contrast between how Clarke is received by the higher-ups -- most of whom only dealt with the mountain peripherally -- and her posse from the drop ship, who did experience a lot of the horrors first-hand. Of course, there's at least one who has not let go of his grief and rage about that, and he turns up here, too.
> 
> Thanks, everybody, for reading, and thanks to all who have left kudos and comments. I try to respond to comments as soon as possible, but if I don't, please don't worry. I'll do so when I have a few moments to spare because I luuuuuuv engaging with you all. Hit me up here or on Twitter: @andimarquette 
> 
> A couple of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Ten Fé, "Elodie"; Troy, "When the Lights Came"


	10. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa goes undercover to find out WTF Landis is up to and who he's working with and what kind of info he's trying to pass to Nia.

Lexa breathed the scents of the forest, and each told her something about location, direction of the breeze, and the foliage in her vicinity. Night smelled different than day. Cooler air carried its own odors and sounds. She gazed through the trees at Landis, his form just visible in the dark.

He had wasted no time after his shift watching Jos, and Lexa guessed he’d gotten a message when he delivered her meal. He left soon after his shift ended, and slipped out of Polis into the forests to the north of the city. Lexa had been waiting, already disguised, already prepared to follow when she got word. And now Landis stood not twenty feet away, watching a cart path from his position. He gave no sign that he knew he had been followed and was under scrutiny from four pairs of eyes.

The _Azgeda_ encampment was farther north, perhaps ten miles. She knew that scouts rotated in and out, usually within a couple of hours when a team returned and when a new one went out. Her scouts were better in the forests than _Azgeda_ , but the fact that Nia had planted a group of her warriors where she did was an affront to Lexa’s role as Commander. Nia did nothing without a reason, and Lexa knew the camp was as much an insult as it was a strategic move.

But as long as Jos remained in Polis as Nia’s official representative, Lexa could not drive the encampment out. Nia knew that, too. So Lexa would wait for her to overstep, because Nia lacked patience, and often operated from a place of arrogance.

Someone else approached, using the cart path. _Azgeda_ , she guessed, because whoever it was made more noise than any _Trikru_ would on a mission of subterfuge. Silently, Lexa moved closer to Landis. She was dressed this night like any other _Trikru_ warrior, devoid of her armor, which might have made too much noise. Landis was intent on the newcomer, and he stepped onto the cart path, bathed in the ghostly light of a half-moon.

The voices of Landis and his contact carried well, though they spoke in low tones. They greeted each other with a familiarity of at least one previous meeting. From Lexa’s angle, she saw Landis hand something to the other warrior, and he in turn placed it in a pouch on his belt. Once the exchange was made, Landis returned to the forest and the other warrior continued walking on the path, headed north.

Lexa followed him, keeping to the trees. One of the three scouts she had brought remained with her while another followed Landis. The third scout was positioned on the other side of the cart path, and would keep pace with Lexa from that side. The warrior increased his speed, and Lexa’s closest scout peeled off from her and went ahead, then broke to his left, deeper into the forest, but she knew he would remain within earshot and loop back around. She fell easily into the rhythms of this chase, practically soundless, senses heightened, and she smiled in the dark as instinct and training cleared her mind.

Finally, nearly an hour from Polis, the warrior slowed at a spot where the cart path widened and to his right, the remains of a stone structure spilled from the forest.

“ _Hir_ ,”1 said a male voice from the structure, and another warrior stepped onto the path.

The first warrior handed what Landis had given him to the second. Lexa whistled softly, the call of a nightbird, and within seconds an arrow sprouted from the second man’s throat and its force knocked him back a step. As he sank silently to the ground, the other warrior drew his sword and tried to make a run for the cover of the ruins. Another of Lexa’s scouts loosed an arrow that sank into his thigh and he grunted and went down on his good knee.

Lexa was on him before he could gather his wits. She disarmed him with her sword and kicked him onto his back, the tip of her blade at his throat. Her scouts joined her and waited.

“What might an _Azgeda_ warrior be doing in this place at this time of night?” Lexa asked, not that she expected him to answer. He didn’t. Nor did he recognize her, as she had divested herself of the most obvious external symbols of her rank. The right side of her face bore paint that looked like the tattoos of other _Trikru_ warriors and she’d braided her hair differently.

“Perhaps we should save him for _Heda_ ,” Arling said. He had fired the arrow that killed the other warrior.

“Perhaps,” Lexa said. “But if we don’t, his people might pay us.”

“They will,” the warrior said between his clenched teeth.

“ _Hanch yu fleim au_?” 2 She nicked his throat.

He hissed between his teeth. “ _Chit yu gaf_?” 3

“Information.”

“I am worth that,” the warrior said. “And much more.”

Arling snorted. “Let’s take him to _Heda_. Whatever information he has, she’ll carve it out of him.” He prodded the arrow jutting from the warrior’s thigh with his foot and the warrior panted in pain.

“ _Heda_ won’t leave any for us,” Tam, the other scout said. She had shot the second arrow. “He says his people will pay us.”

“Will it be the Commander for you?” Lexa asked the warrior. “Or a better trade for you?”

He grimaced. “I will tell you what you wish to know if you take me to the trading post. My people will collect me there.”

Lexa considered his words, but not for the reasons he probably thought. Rather, she mulled how _Azgeda_ might be using the location of Niylah’s business as a staging point. It wasn’t unusual for _Azgeda_ to transact there, so it would not necessarily draw suspicion. “Why is _Azgeda_ in _Trikru_ territory?” she asked.

He did not reply.

“We are people of opportunity,” Lexa continued. “Perhaps _Azgeda_ might provide something better than _Trikru_ , and welcome us.” She moved her sword so that its tip no longer rested against his skin.

“ _Yo don ge ban au_?” 4 the warrior asked.

“Let’s just say we are not as welcome as we once were among the _Trikru_.”

“ _Oso na sis choda au_.” 5 He addressed Lexa.

Arling huffed in exasperation. “How can we help each other? From where I stand, you can’t even help yourself.”

Lexa waved him silent. “What do you propose?” she asked the warrior.

“Since you have no people of your own, _plana_ Nia will see to it that you have a place within _Azgeda_ should you return me to my people.”

Lexa studied his features in the dim light of the moon. “Why are you so important to them?”

“I have a message for Nia.”

Arling snorted. “No message is that important.”

“This one is,” he insisted.

“And why might that be? Is it from _Heda_?” Lexa laughed, as if she found his statement ridiculous. Tam and Arling laughed, too.

“Better. It is _about_ her, and the weaknesses within Polis and the Commander’s _kongeda_.”

Lexa showed no reaction, though it took a supreme act of her will not to drive her blade all the way through his neck. “We care nothing about such matters.”

“You should,” the warrior said, his voice rough with the pain from his wound. “War is coming.”

She snorted, as Arling had. “War is always coming.” She nicked his throat again. “You speak in riddles and lies. Perhaps you are worth nothing to us.”

“I speak truth,” he snapped, and the muscles in his neck tightened and pressed against the tip of her sword. “Nia will release this land from the tyranny and incompetence of the Commander. Then she will put _Skaikru_ on its knees,” he said, his teeth clenched again. “All will know her power.”

The chill that prickled the hair on the back of Lexa’s neck had nothing to do with the night air. “We care nothing for _Skaikru_ ,” she said, affecting a bored manner. “Though it seems your _plana_ wastes time on such matters as _Skaikru_ and _Heda_. We only care whether your _plana_ will pay us for you or not.”

“She will. Take me to the trading post.”

“A trap,” Tam said.

“No,” the warrior looked up at Lexa. “ _Ai laik Gonin kom Azgeda_. 6 I will ensure a reward for my return.”

“It seems _Heda_ might pay us more, from this tale you have shared,” Lexa said.

“And she might grant us pardon,” Arling added. “I say we take him to Polis.”

“As do I,” Tam said.

“You have not convinced us to do otherwise,” Lexa said to Gonin.

“Nia will double whatever the Commander offers.”

“This information you have is that important to _Plana Nia kom Azgeda_?” 7 Lexa pulled her sword back from his neck a bit.

“Yes.”

“Then it is assured that _Heda_ will appreciate it all the more. To Polis with him. _Tai em op_ ,”8 she directed Arling. He complied immediately and once he was done, he and Tam hauled Gonin to his feet.

“ _Plana_ Nia will find me,” Gonin said, and even in the waning moon’s light, Lexa saw his glare. Arling gagged him with a strip of cloth.

She didn’t respond, but she was counting on what he said, counting on Nia to try to find this messenger, because Lexa would be ready. “Perhaps she, too, will pay us,” she said as she went to the body of the other warrior and removed his weapons, necklaces, and belt pouches. She then unfurled his fingers, clasped around what Gonin had given him—a small rolled-up piece of parchment. Whatever secrets it held would have to wait. She put it into the pouch that hung on her belt and handed his weapons to Tam while Arling hauled the dead warrior off the path into the trees.

Tam snapped the end of the arrow off that still stuck out of Gonin’s thigh, eliciting a long groan of pain, muffled by the gag, but if she hadn’t done so, it would catch on underbrush as they moved through the forest, since the cart path was too exposed. A healer would extract the rest of it in Polis, and as they began the trek back to the city, Lexa thought of Clarke, and how she wielded both the power to heal and to hurt, how she stirred both life and loss, and how Lexa ached to see her but dreaded it, too. It was inevitable, she knew, that they would meet again, now that she had confirmation that Nia was planning to move against _Skaikru_ as well as _Trikru_.

Lexa had barely managed to convince eleven clans that a _kongeda_ could work. She needed _Azgeda_ , which would hold more weight than _Skaikru_ , but if Clarke convinced her people to ally, the word of _Wanheda_ would travel much farther across the clans than the symbol of an alliance with _Skaikru_ , and might convince some in _Azgeda_ to defy Nia. Clarke would ally for her people, Lexa knew. The question remained whether Clarke and _Skaikru_ would accept Lexa’s leadership, or if the weight of the mountain would crush this seed of possibility.

Gonin stumbled and went down onto his knees, breathing heavily. Lexa directed Tam to go ahead, to the place where she’d arranged for three other warriors to wait with horses. Arling pulled on the rope attached to Gonin’s bound hands and pulled him up. Dawn would soon break, and it was best that they be as far from where they’d captured him as possible. Once Lexa looked at what Jos was trying to get to Nia, she’d have a better idea of what message to send to Clarke.

  
1 _Hir:_ here (over here)  
2 _Hanch yu fleim au_ : How much are you worth?  
3 _Chit yu gaf_?: what do you want?  
4 _Yo don ge ban au?_ You were cast out?  
5 _Oso na sis choda au_ : [perhaps] we can help each other  
6 _Ai laik Gonin kom Azgeda_ : I am Gonin of/from Azgeda  
7 _Plana Nia kom Azgeda_ : Queen (loosely) Nia of Azgeda  
8 _Tai em op_ : Tie him up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love when Lexa goes undercover. It makes me feel all "Mission: Impossible" or some crap, because normally she's all up in her Commander gear and being all leader-ish and looking imposing with her facepainted self. When she's undercover, she gets to dispense with the Commander trappings and honestly, I think she enjoys running ops like this where she changes her appearance a little and wears different clothing.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all the kudos and comments. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but if I don't, it's not because I don't luuuuuuuuuv you. It's because I'm running through the forests with Sky Crew and Woods Clan. Or something. I will totes get to it, though! FOR REALZ!
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while writing this chapter thingie: Blufeld, "For the Fallen"; BØRNS, "Dopamine"


	11. Inside the Perimeter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, Bellamy, and a some of their posse are on patrol outside Arkadia and they come across a wounded Woods Clan scout, who is inside the perimeter.

“Anything?”

Octavia handed the binoculars to Clarke. “No.”

A few minutes later Clarke handed them back. “Nothing.” She pressed the button on the radio. “Bellamy. Anything?”

Static greeted her. She tried again.

More static. Finally, Bellamy’s voice broke through. “Nothing. Lincoln found more signs of watchers, but we haven’t seen anybody.”

“Okay.” She handed the radio to Miller, who reported their position. He clipped the radio onto his belt and made a mark on the map. “Bellamy’s here,” he said. “We’re about a mile west. We’ll do a sweep along here—” he motioned with this fingertip, “and end up here. Then we’ll go back to the dropoff site along a different route.”

Clarke nodded. “Let’s go.” They started walking again through the stands of pine, keeping noise to a minimum. Miller carried a rifle, but Octavia still preferred her sword and knife, and Clarke had come to appreciate the fact that they made much less noise than guns, and drew much less attention. She carried both her knife and the one she’d taken from the dead Ice Nation warrior. Bellamy had handed her a pistol before they left Arkadia that morning, but she refused it, much to his disapproval. Next time, she’d told him, but he wasn’t happy about it.

Octavia held her hand up and motioned for them to stop and crouch. They did and Clarke eased next to her, staring in the same direction. Octavia pointed at something a couple dozen feet away. She moved a little to get a better view.

A body, sitting against a tree.

Octavia used the binoculars to scan the area while Miller used the scope on his rifle. Clarke looked at her, questioning, and Octavia nodded and stood.

“Stay here,” Octavia said softly.

“I’ll cover you.” Miller took a position on the ground next to Clarke, rifle ready. Octavia stayed low and hurried over to the figure against the tree. Clarke watched, and neither she nor Miller moved.

She leaned down over the figure then straightened and motioned emphatically at them. Clarke started over, Miller right behind her, rifle at the ready.

A male Grounder had managed to prop himself against the tree, but he wasn’t dead. An arrow jutted from his chest, a few inches above his heart, and another protruded from his other shoulder. He’d taken a couple of hits to his head, because blood caked his hair. Blood also stained his clothing, and had dried on what looked like sword or knife tears in the fabric. He was breathing, but it was harsh and labored. His eyes were closed. _Trikru_ , Clark surmised, from the tattoos that marked the right side of his face. One of Lexa’s scouts?

His eyes opened and though it must have hurt, his hand gripped the handle of his knife.

“ _Osir nou na bash yu op_ ,” Octavia said. “ _Ai laik Okteivia kom Skaikru_.” 1

He grimaced and let go of his knife. “ _Ai laik Wash kom Trikru_ ,”2 he said with a slight wheeze. Clarke kneeled next to him to examine the wound in his chest. “Can I see?”

He nodded and Clarke surveyed it, careful not to touch the arrow. From the angle and position, it missed his heart. “What happened?”

“ _Azgeda_.”

Octavia leaned down, intent. “How many?”

“Three. Scouts.”

“You’re in _Skaikru_ territory,” she said.

“ _Sha_.” I followed _Azgeda_. One might be dead. His fellows carried him away. They went south, away from _Skaikru_.”

Probably to regroup, Clarke thought as she checked the wound in his shoulder. Less serious than that in his chest, but still painful. They would have to take him back to Arkadia so Abby could determine the full extent of the damage and extract the arrows. If they were poisoned, they’d need Lincoln, too, to help tell them what it was. “What are you doing here alone?” she asked him.

“Not alone. Three of us. One followed _Azgeda_. The other went to Polis.”

“To tell Lexa about Ice Nation,” Clarke said, looking up at Octavia.

“Yes,” Wash said, a flash of surprise in his eyes.

“We need to get him to Arkadia,” Clarke said. “He needs treatment.”

Wash looked from her to Octavia, expression registering wariness.

“ _Skaikru_ has no fight with _Trikru_ ,” Octavia said. “We will help you.” She looked at Clarke who nodded.

His eyes narrowed.

“I will guarantee your safety,” Clarke said.

Still, he hesitated.

“ _Em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ ,”3 Octavia said, gesturing at Clarke.

Wash jerked his gaze to her then back to Clark. “ _Wanheda_ ,” he said with a reverence that reminded her of Zander, and it was like glass under her skin, the title and all the meanings it carried.

“Just Clarke,” she said, trying not to sound brusque. She motioned at Octavia. “We’ll stand him up together. Be careful of his shoulder.” Clarke gripped Wash’s left arm, Octavia his right. “Ready?” she asked him. At his nod, she glanced at Octavia. “On two.”

They carefully pulled him up after her count, and Miller handed Clarke his rifle and allowed Wash to lean on him. Clarke hefted the gun, but didn’t argue. Wash didn’t say anything more, but his breath hissed between his teeth with every movement and fresh blood and sweat collected on his shirt.

Octavia switched with Miller after a while, and then Clarke took a turn, trying to minimize the jarring she knew Wash’s wounds were taking. The radio crackled and Miller responded, but didn’t slow down.

“Miller here. What’s your position?”

“We’re at the vehicle,” Bellamy said, static layering some of his words.

“On our way, with one wounded _Trikru_ scout.”

“Say again?”

Miller stopped and handed his rifle and the radio to Clarke as he switched positions with her. They kept moving.

“Bellamy, it’s Clarke.”

“What the hell’s going on?”

“We found one of Lexa’s scouts inside the perimeter. He says he was following Ice Nation. He’s wounded. We’re bringing him in for treatment.”

Silence. Clarke waited. After a few more moments, the radio crackled to life again.

“How many Ice Nation?”

“He says three. There was a fight, and one Ice Nation warrior went down. The other Ice Nation warriors carried him south. He says there were two other _Trikru_ scouts. One followed the Ice Nation scouts, and the other went to Polis. Did you see anybody?”

“Negative.”

“Can you radio Kane? Let him know.”

“Yes. How far away are you?”

“Maybe a mile. We’re moving slow.” She looked back at Miller and Octavia, who had positioned herself so Wash could put his other hand on her shoulder.

“What’s your position?” Bellamy asked.

“Due south of the vehicle.”

“Sending Lincoln.”

“Radio Kane,” she said, but she didn’t know if he’d heard her and a blast of static drowned out any reply, if he’d tried to make one. “Shit,” she muttered. Raven needed to work on the radios.

Lincoln appeared through the trees after another long stretch of silence save for the sounds of their breathing and scuffing of Miller’s and Wash’s boots. Octavia’s movements were so quiet Clarke turned twice to ensure she was still with them.

“Hey,” Lincoln said as he approached. Wash eyed him, but said nothing as Lincoln relieved Octavia and between him and Miller, they were able to support most of Wash’s weight and move a little faster. He said a few things to Wash in Trigedasleng that Clarke didn’t recognize. Wash answered, grunting in pain as he did.

“He says Lexa is worried about _Azgeda_ trying to either start a war between _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ or form an alliance with _Skaikru_ ,” Lincoln said.

Clarke slowed so she could look at Wash. “Is that true?”

“Yes,” he managed between clenched teeth. “Nia may try to ally with _Skaikru_.”

“That’ll screw the coalition,” Octavia said.

“That’s Nia’s point.” Clarke stared straight ahead, glad that Lexa had arrived at the same conclusions she had, though it was a little disconcerting, because it felt like a connection lingered between them through their shared conclusions and she wasn’t sure what it meant or what to do with it. How much did the mountain destroy between them? Was there anything salvageable? She had to believe they could work together to ensure the safety of their respective peoples, or the weight of the mountain that she carried meant nothing.

They arrived at the clearing where the vehicle was parked and Lincoln carefully broke the ends of Wash’s arrows off before they loaded him in through the back. He sat on the floor, and leaned against one of the bench seats along the side. Octavia and Lincoln sat closest to him and Monty and Miller squeezed in next to them. Clarke stuffed their packs around him to help minimize jostling before Bellamy shut the back door and turned to her. “How bad is he?”

“The arrow in his chest could be a problem. My mom will know more.”

He glanced at Wash’s profile, visible through the vehicle’s window. “What do we do with him?”

“He’s been scouting for Lexa, probably for days, and he’s seen Ice Nation breach the perimeter. He might be able to tell us more about their movements. Plus, he’s a bargaining chip with Lexa.”

Bellamy frowned. “How?”

“We took him in. We didn’t have to. We’re going to patch him up and send him back to Polis to tell Lexa we want a meeting.”

He stared at her. “Are you insane?”

She smiled. “At this point, probably.”

“And you think Lexa will want to talk to us? To you?” He raised his eyebrows, skeptical.

“Yes. Lexa’s not the problem. My mom is.”

Bellamy started to respond when Monty stuck his head out one of the open windows. “Hey. We’re going to lose light if we don’t leave now.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bellamy got into the driver’s seat and Clarke took the front passenger seat.

“Okay?” she asked Wash.

He nodded, but his color wasn’t good. He’d make it to Arkadia. Beyond that, depending on where the arrow’s point was embedded and what was on it, she couldn’t say. Bellamy started the engine and Clarke thought about Lexa, and about the hold she still had on her, though she’d never know. Clarke stared out the windshield as they bumped across a sloping field littered with rocks.

No, Lexa _would_ know, as soon as she saw her. Lexa saw things in her that nobody else did, saw the things that Clarke never showed. It could be infuriating, but Clarke, too, saw things in Lexa that the Commander thought were hidden. They knew each other better than Clarke cared to admit.

And that was why Lexa would consent to a meeting.

Hopefully they could get Wash ready to go back to Polis in the next couple of days.

  
1 _Osir nou na bash yu op…Ai laik Okteivia kom Skaikru_ : We’re not going to hurt you. I am Octavia of/from Sky Crew   
2 _Ai laik Wash kom Trikru_ : I am Wash of/from Woods Clan   
3 _Em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ : She is Clarke of/from Sky Crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke doesn't waste much time, does she? Already, she's out on patrol with the posse. But we know why she's doing it. When she gets a focus, she's like a dog on a fresh bone, and in this case, she would like to chat up some Woods Clan scouts to find out what the haps are in Polis and oh, by the way, she'll slip in, what's Lexa up to? And then she'll think, "not that I'm interested or anything but srsly, what is Lexa doing and will she please possibly stop by or better yet, I can just go to Polis, but it's not that I'm interested in what she's doing or how she is. Or anything like that." Oh, please, Clarke.
> 
> Thanks to all for reading, and thanks for the kudos and comments. I'll respond to comments as soon as I can! FOR REALZ! Or you can catch me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some of the songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Broods, "L.A.F."; Ra Ra Riot & Rostam, "Water"; Of Monsters and Men, "Human"


	12. Lies and Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa confronts Jos and Landis while Clarke and Abby get Wash's wounds squared away because Clarke wants him ready to go back to Polis ASAP.

Lexa strode down the corridor, wearing light armor, her weapons, and facepaint. Her long black coat swirled around her boots, her swords crossed comfortably across her back, and her daggers moved with the motion of her hips with every step. She knew the value of appearances, especially when dealing with enemies, and when she swept into the council room, Indra behind her, leather creaking and weapons clinking, Jos’s expression went from expectation to worry in the space of an eyeblink.

Jos stood near the dais, hands clasped in front of her, a guard on either side. Lexa ascended and took her seat. She wore her swords in such a way that they didn’t interfere with her position.

“ _Heda_ ,” Jos said with a nod.

Lexa regarded her for a long moment. Jos dropped her gaze.

“ _Bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, “I require an explanation.”

Jos’s brow furrowed and she looked up at her again. Lexa motioned and Indra stepped forward and unrolled a small parchment. She held it up so Jos could see what was on it and she paled even more beneath the usual fair tones of her skin but didn’t say anything, and desperation replaced the worry in her eyes.

Lexa motioned at the guards nearest the doors and they went into the corridor only to return moments later with Landis, whose hands were bound. Blood streaked the side of his face and matted his beard and one eye was swollen shut. The guards pushed him roughly forward until he was within a few steps of the dais and then they forced him to his knees. He looked up at Lexa, a mixture of bravado and fear. Jos stared at him, then jerked her gaze back to Lexa, who appraised her as a hunter might assess wounded prey.

“Speak, _bandrona_ ,” she said after a few moments. “Tell me why you have been providing maps of Polis and the tower to _Azgeda_.” As well as the numbers of warriors available in the city and surrounding villages. For that information, Landis was a perfect dupe.

“Don’t say anything,” Landis said, and the pleading in his voice indicated that his feelings for her ran deep. “Jos—”

Indra’s hand wrapped around the hilt of her sword. The guards in the room frowned at this affront to the Commander and reached for their own weapons.

Lexa stood and moved fluidly down the steps toward Landis. Before he could react, the force of her kick to his chest threw him onto his back and he grunted, trying to breathe. Indra’s hand uncurled from her sword and the other guards relaxed.

“Your punishment is not mine alone to give, _Landis kom Trikru_ ,” Lexa said. “But if you speak out of turn again, I will harshen it in ways you cannot fathom.”

He coughed and she nodded at the guards who had brought him in. They hauled him back to his knees, where he hunched over, wheezing.

“ _Du laik spichen natrona_ ,”1 Indra said venomously.

“And he will pay for his treachery, as custom dictates.” Lexa moved toward Jos until she was arm’s reach from her, a subtle display of power, designed to convey that she thought so little of Jos that she would willingly put herself within attack range. “I await your explanation.”

“ _Beja, Heda_ ,”2 she pleaded. “This is not of my will.”

Lexa regarded her. It was entirely consistent with Nia’s character to force one of her own into spying. “Whose, then?” she asked, though she knew the answer.

Jos lifted her chin. “Nia’s.”

Landis groaned softly and coughed again.

“And what price will she exact if you do not do what she asked?”

Jos’s lower lip quivered.

“Your life?”

“No, _Heda_. The lives of my children.”

That, too, was consistent with Nia’s character. “And if I return you to _Azgeda_ for your spying?”

“My children die.”

“If I send you in pieces?”

Jos’s jaw clenched and Lexa studied her. Nia would probably kill them then, too. That was none of Lexa’s concern, but in Jos’s fear for her children and anger at Nia, she sensed an opportunity. “When will Nia recall you?”

“Once she had this last message, she said she would send someone.” There was doubt in her tone because she probably knew by now that Nia lied. She always lied. Once she had the information in this last parchment, she would plan an attack on Polis and challenge Lexa to become Commander, and she’d leave Jos to rot.

“Take her to a cell,” Lexa said. “One that is isolated. There will be no further messages passed.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Jos said. “Please—”

She dismissed her with a wave of her hand. “I will decide your fate in good time, _Jos kom Azgeda_.” To the two guards who had escorted the ambassador, she said, “Take her.”

Indra looked at her, questioning, and Lexa gave her a nod to accompany them. “I want her alive,” she instructed. “For now.” She then turned back to Landis. “He will face his punishment at sunset.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.” His guards pulled him to his feet and hauled him out of the council room.

Two guards remained near the doorway. “Send Titus to my quarters,” she said as she passed into the corridor. One nodded and headed in the opposite direction while the other fell into step with her. Another plan was forming, but she would need Titus’s methods to make it work.

  
1 _Du laik spichen natrona_ : He’s a lying traitor   
2 _Beja_ , _Heda_ : Please, Heda

 

###

 

Abby carefully cut the fabric of Wash’s shirt away from the arrow in his chest. He winced and gripped the edge of the bench seat in the Rover, which was parked in one of the bays in the garage. Bellamy had lowered the door as soon as he got out of the vehicle.

“You got lucky,” Abby said, looking up at his face. “It missed your heart.” She looked over at Clarke. “Is it poisoned?”

“I don’t know. That’s why Lincoln’s here.”

Abby looked back at Wash. “We’ll need to get him to medical.”

Bellamy and Lincoln stepped forward but Octavia spoke before they started helping him out of the back of the vehicle. “We can’t just walk him over there. There’ll be questions.”

Bellamy turned and looked at Abby. “She’s right. We found him inside the perimeter.”

“He was chasing Ice Nation scouts,” Clarke said. “Lexa wouldn’t allow a violation of the agreement unless it called for it.”

“ _Sha_.”

They all turned back to Wash.

“ _Heda_ wishes to ensure the safety of _Skaikru_.”

Clarke regarded him. “Were those your orders?”

He nodded and grimaced in pain. “ _Azgeda_ threatens us all.”

“Do you know where they might have gone?”

“No.”

Bellamy took a map out of his pocket. “There might be a camp south of here, on the other side of the lake.”

Octavia frowned. “That puts a lake between them, us, and ultimately, Ice Nation. Seems more logical that they’d want to be somewhere between us and Polis.”

“Not if they’re looking for an element of surprise.” Clarke took the map from Bellamy and scanned it. She ran her finger along a potential path. “Nia could send forces along this route, east of here. The terrain’s not that bad. We wouldn’t necessarily know about it. Then they could dip down here on the eastern side of the lake and use it as a staging area.” And that made it almost easy to attack from at least two directions. Maybe three. From the lake to the south, from the east, and also the north, from Polis. But Arkadia would expect a northern attack. “She might also be wanting to establish a foothold east of us.” Clarke looked up at Bellamy. “We need to check.”

He took the map and handed it to Lincoln who, after a few moments, nodded.

“We’ll do it tomorrow.”

Lincoln and Wash held a brief discussion in Trigedasleng.

“He says that’s a good thought, and the Commander will have scouts checking the part of the path Clarke pointed out, but not beyond the perimeter unless necessary. He also says he’s seen at least six _Azgeda_ scouts between here and Polis in the last two days.”

“As useful as this might be,” Abby interrupted, “I need to get him to medical before his situation gets worse.”

“How do we do that without questions?” Miller asked. “It’s not like he doesn’t look like a Grounder.”

“He warned us,” Monty said. “About Ice Nation scouts and we didn’t want to leave him outside the perimeter where he’d probably die, so we brought him here.”

Abby frowned.

“It’s not totally false. Just the perimeter part.” Octavia motioned at Wash. “Let’s get him out of there.”

Bellamy and Lincoln helped him out of the Rover and steadied him. Abby motioned at the side entrance. “I’ll lead. Fewer questions.” She seemed to deliberately avoid looking at Clarke, but there would definitely be questions later, Clarke knew. She found herself wishing in some ways that Kane was chancellor.

With Wash supported on either side by Lincoln and Bellamy, the group hurried across the open space between the garage and the Ark’s main structure. A few people stopped to watch, but as Abby had said, with her in the lead, nobody asked any questions.

“I need a surgery table,” Abby said to Jackson when they entered medical.

He looked up from the little girl whose eyes he was examining. “Room one. It’s prepped and ready.”

Abby motioned at the group and Lincoln and Bellamy maneuvered Wash into the room and onto the table. He didn’t lie down, though. He sat, his legs dangling over the side.

“I’ll wait outside,” Bellamy said. “Lincoln will stay here to translate and identify the poison, if you need him to do that.”

Abby nodded and turned to a sink in the corner where she scrubbed her hands. “Clarke, wait outside with Bellamy.”

Wash caught her gaze. There was fear and uncertainty in his.

“I think it’s a better idea for me to stay in here,” she said and Abby’s expression indicated she wanted to retort, but then she caught sight of Wash’s face and she relented.

“You good?” Bellamy asked.

“Yeah,” Clarke said.

“I’ll be right here.” He stepped out, the thick plastic strips that served as a door cover clicking against each other behind him.

“It’s okay,” Clarke said to Wash. “We have to get the arrows out so you can start to heal. We have medicine that will help with the pain.”

He relaxed and Clarke scrubbed up as Abby prepared a syringe. She approached Wash with it but he grabbed her wrist.

“Clarke,” she said.

Lincoln said something to him, but Wash didn’t loosen his grip.

“Hey,” Clarke said to Wash. “It’s okay. It’s just something to numb the pain so we can take the arrow out without causing more damage.”

“It’s from the _Maunon_ ,” he said, practically spitting the last word. “I see where it came from.” He gestured with his chin at the metal supply box in the corner, emblazoned with the logo of Mt. Weather.

Clarke dragged the box over to the exam table. She opened it so Wash could look down into it. “Medical supplies,” she said. “The Mountain Men used these to help their own people. Not to hurt yours.” No doubt Abby had authorized a few trips to the mountain since Clarke had left, and it made her uneasy, these visible signs of the mountain.

“Yes,” Abby said. “We didn’t have many supplies left when we got here.”

“It’s all right,” Clarke said to him. “These are useful to all of us, and it will help us get the arrows out of you.”

“You do it,” he said to her as he released Abby’s wrist. “Not her.”

Clarke looked at Abby, whose expression was unreadable. She nodded and held the syringe out. “Five milliliters each time. Numb in a circle, about a quarter-inch away from the wound,” she instructed. Clarke nodded and carefully cut more of Wash’s shirt away, leaving her room to work.

“It’s going to sting,” she told him. “And then it’ll be numb for about an hour. It’ll feel strange.”

He didn’t respond. He just watched her as she took the syringe. She held his gaze for a moment and he nodded and she inserted the needle above the arrow wound and depressed the plunger Wash didn’t flinch. He just continued to watch.

“Good,” Abby said. “Keep going.”

Clarke repeated the procedure four more times. “Okay,” she said to him. “Don’t move for a few minutes. It’ll start working soon. Then we’ll need to cut into your skin to make room to get the arrow out.” She wasn’t sure he was familiar with such a procedure, so she looked at Lincoln, who translated it to Wash. He nodded.

“Can you lie down?” Abby asked. “It makes it easier for me to make sure I get this out without doing more damage.”

Wash looked at Clarke again, and she nodded. “It will make it easier,” she confirmed, and he stretched out on the exam table. Clarke moved the medical supply box back to its corner, but she couldn’t shake her unease about it. How often was Abby sending people to the mountain? And did Lexa know about it?

“Can you feel this?” Abby said as she gently pushed at the skin around Wash’s wound. “You should feel pressure, but no pain.”

He nodded. “No pain.”

“Good. As soon as we have this arrow out and the wound bandaged, we’ll take the other one out the same way.”

He nodded again.

“Clarke—”

“Right here.” She held the light up over the wound, at an angle she knew Abby preferred. “Ready?” she asked Wash. He nodded and stared at the ceiling as Abby started making her first cut. She wiped the fresh blood away as she worked.

“How are you doing?” Abby asked, catching Wash’s gaze. “Still okay on pain level?”

“Yes,” he said.

Clarke moved the light slightly as Abby adjusted her angle. He probably wondered why Sky Crew wasted medicine making him numb when his own healer probably would have just cut into his flesh, pulled out the arrow, and cauterized the wound already.

“Extracting,” Abby said and she pulled the arrow out of Wash in one smooth, motion.

Wash held up his hand and Abby gave him the arrow. He sniffed it and then tasted the tip of it with his tongue. “No poison,” he said.

“Good news. I’m now going to stitch the wound closed and put something on it to fight infection. Then we’ll bandage it.”

Clarke took the arrow from him and set it aside then resumed holding the light for Abby, who finished a few minutes later.

“Next arrow,” she said to Wash, and she and Clarke repeated the procedure. No poison on this one, either, which made this patch job that much easier. Abby checked the other wounds on his chest, but none required stitching. She cleaned them and dressed them then started to clean up.

“It might be best if he stayed in medical,” Lincoln said.

Clarke caught his eye. “He’s right.”

“Sanders will want to post a guard.” Abby looked first at Lincoln and then at Clarke.

“Bellamy will do it. I’ll stay in medical with Wash.”

Abby regarded her for a long moment and Clarke braced for the fight, but didn’t get it. “I’ll talk to Sanders,” she said. “If he even brings it up.”

“He will.” Clarke turned back to Wash. “You’ll stay here tonight. I’ll be here, and so will Bellamy.”

“Let me check in with Jackson.” Abby stepped out and Wash sat up before Clarke could help him. He looked at her.

“Am I a prisoner?”

“No. But there are those among _Skaikru_ who do not trust Grounders. I want to make sure you’re safe before you go back to Polis.”

Lincoln said something in Trigedasleng to him, and he nodded. “There are those among _Trikru_ who do not trust _Skaikru_ , either.”

“There are good and bad among both,” Clarke said as she checked the bandage on his chest.

“ _Heda_ says that you are to be trusted.”

Clarke stared at him and the room seemed to shrink. Her throat tightened.

“She said you and _Skaikru_ made it possible for our people to be freed from the _Maunon_.”

She cleared her throat, and searched for words. “We did what we had to.”

Wash’s gaze bored into hers. “I lost my father to the _Maunon_ , and I believe in _Heda_. You have my trust, _Wanheda_.”

Clarke cleared her throat again. “ _Mochof_.”

He nodded and Abby came back in. “Okay. Let’s get you fed and rested,” she said to Wash. She gave Clarke one of her “mom” looks. “That goes for you, too. I’ll stay here until you get back.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said. She looked at Wash. “It’s okay. I’ll be back. She’ll take care of you until I do.”

“I’ll stay, too,” Lincoln said, and that made Clarke feel even better. She stepped out and went with Bellamy to get something to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets her Commander gear back on and properly schools Landis and Jos.
> 
> And though Lexa knows she's got a major problem on her hands because Jos and Landis managed to get a bunch of info out to Nia, she has a plan up her sleeve where Jos is concerned and you'll find that out next week! WOOOO!
> 
> Meanwhile, Clarke and Abby have to patch up Wash because ultimately, Clarke wants him ready to travel ASAP.
> 
> Thanks all, for the kudos and comments and for reading. I so appreciate that you do. Thank you. I respond to comments as soon as I can, so don't worry if you don't hear from me right away. It's just me running around crazy. :) You can also find me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some songs I listened to when I wrote this here chapter: ASTR, "Cannonball"; Lange, "Home"; AYER, "Castaway"


	13. Schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has an idea for what to do with Jos. Meanwhile, back at Arkadia, some unexpected and not entirely wanted visitors stop by.

He was drenched in his own blood. It flowed from every cut, soaked his beard and clothing, and dripped in a steady cadence on the flagstones beneath his boots. Lexa watched as the last few who had, by custom, to exact punishment added their marks to his flesh. He quivered in pain and exhaustion, but still managed to hold himself up against the pole to which he was tied, though his legs trembled with the effort.

The last man completed his cut and he turned and bowed his head at her. She stepped forward and drew one of her swords. Torchlight glanced off the steel.

“ _Landis kom Trikru_ ,” she addressed him, “you have committed treason against your own people. For this you are punished. In your death, your family and clan are absolved of shame.”

He managed to lift his head to look at her, but he said nothing.

She brandished her sword and in a smooth motion, she lunged and slid it cleanly into his chest, between his ribs. He sighed, and slumped forward as much as the bindings on his hands would allow.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,”1 Lexa said as she withdrew her blade. “You may take him,” she said to those gathered. She waited for a few of them to cut his body down and carry him from the courtyard before she returned to the tower, sword still unsheathed, Indra at her side.

They descended to a lower level, where interior darkness was perpetual, alleviated only by torches that often burned out. Here, the ceilings and walls were stained with decades of soot and grime and a faint haze of smoke seemed to twist and dance near the flames of the torches still burning.

The few guards who were on duty this night stood taller as she passed and murmured her title deferentially. She nodded back, but didn’t speak. A few moments later, she stopped at the last door and Indra motioned for the guard to open it. She did and Indra removed a torch from the nearby wall sconce and followed Lexa into the cell.

Jos looked up at them, blinking in the sudden light. She wasn’t used to being in a cell, Lexa could tell, because her expression was already despondent after only a few hours. She scrambled to her feet when she realized who her visitors were.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said, and it sounded genuine, though resigned to whatever fate Lexa decided to grant her.

“ _Jos kom Azgeda_ , you have a decision to make.” Lexa had not sheathed her sword and Jos stared at it, and at the blood that dripped from its tip. She raised her gaze to Lexa’s and waited for her to continue.

“If you return to _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, “you will die.”

She lowered her gaze.

“And most likely, your children will die, as well.”

Jos seemed to study her feet.

“If I return you to Nia for your treasonous acts against me and Polis, you will die. Or I will kill you myself and send your body to Nia. And then your children will die.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said softly. “You speak true.”

“Your loyalties do not lie with Nia.” It was a statement, not a question.

“No, _Heda_. They do not.”

Lexa waited a beat. “But they also do not lie with me.”

Jos glanced at Lexa’s sword then back at her face. “ _Heda_ , I cannot say that they do because it is not the truth. They lie with my children.”

The torchlight bounced as Indra stepped closer to Lexa.

“I understand,” Lexa said and Jos’s eyes widened in surprise. “This is Nia’s doing, that she creates divided loyalties among her own people and the clans. A strong and wise leader would never make her clan choose between its children and her. Nor would a strong and wise leader force her clan to choose between her and a Commander.”

Jos mulled that, and the only sounds for a long moment were the hiss of the torch and their soft breathing. Finally, she spoke. “I think that you speak true of this, as well.” She glanced at Indra then back at Lexa. “What decision would you have me make, _Heda_?”

“A task.”

Jos’s brow furrowed.

“You are good at gathering information and ensuring its passage to Nia. I would have you do that again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I would have you gather information and ensure its passage to me.”

“I cannot return to _Azgeda_. I and my children will die,” she reiterated, fearful.

“It does not require that you leave Polis. It does, however, require that you remain imprisoned for a time.” Lexa watched her, watched how myriad emotions crossed the planes of her face. The one that remained in her eyes, however, was hope, though she didn’t respond.

“I grant you some time to think about my offer. Should you refuse, I will send your body back to Nia.” She raised her sword to Jos’s throat then slowly lowered it and wiped it on Jos’s shirt, leaving bloody smudges on the cloth. “I will take no pleasure in your death, just as I took none in that of Landis.”

Jos touched the blood on her shirt and stared at Lexa.

“Perhaps it is time, _Jos kom Azgeda_ , that you reconsider your loyalties.” She sheathed her sword and left the room, Indra right behind her. The guard closed the door and Indra returned the torch to its sconce.

“If she chooses wisely, move her to the holding area with the warrior Zander brought us,” Lexa said as they walked down the corridor.

“And Gonin?”

“He still assumes he has not met me,” Lexa said, lacing her tone with grim humor. “I prefer it remain such for a time. Leave him where he is, for now.”

Indra grunted, a soft sound that carried undertones of amusement. “What of Arkadia?” she asked as they ascended the stairs.

“Once Jos makes her decision, then I will send a message to Arkadia.”

“Shall I send another scout to the trading post?”

Lexa stopped at the doorway to the ground floor. “Send Arling and Tam at first light. As traders. I wish to see how many _Azgeda_ use it, and I would have them talk with Niylah.” She continued out of the stairwell and took a hard right toward the lift.

“Perhaps she can provide information about _Azgeda_. And Clarke,” Indra said.

“Mmm.” Lexa felt Indra’s gaze on her back at the noncommittal response. She stepped into the lift, a box of grated metal. Below, three men prepared to turn the wheel to raise it. Indra called the floor for Lexa’s quarters.

“ _Heda_ ,” they said on one accord and the lift slowly started to travel upward.

“It would be best if we located Clarke before Nia does,” Indra said.

“Yes.” The thought chilled her. She stared straight ahead at the doorway, watching as another floor crept past. The last scouts who had returned from the area near the trading post had seen nothing of Clarke, so she had sent them toward Arkadia. Zander had said that Clarke was on her way there. Thus far, Lexa had no proof that Clarke had arrived. She also had no proof that Clarke hadn’t. The scouts’ instructions were to remain on the perimeter she had set near Arkadia with _Skaikru_ unless absolutely necessary. Wash was one of her most trusted scouts, and if he felt it necessary to breach the perimeter or to approach Arkadia as her emissary, he would.

“Clarke should be at Arkadia by now,” Lexa said as she stepped off the lift without looking at Indra, trying not to think about all the reasons Clarke might not have arrived. Beneath her shirt, Clarke’s watch seemed to heat against her skin. She paused at the door to her quarters, where two other guards stood. “Bring me Jos’s decision before Arling and Tam leave.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Indra flicked a glance at the guards then disappeared into the stairwell.

“ _Heda_ ,” the guards murmured as she entered her quarters. She acknowledged them with a nod and shut the door quietly behind her. She unbuckled her sword harness and unsheathed the one she had used on Landis so she could wipe it down, a ritual she had after every battle, every use, as if such would somehow purge her of the acts of bloodletting they performed.

Clarke had been right that day in the tent, Lexa thought as she ran the cloth along the blade. She did feel the weight of the deaths she had exacted. And yes, she did carry them with her, but unlike Clarke, she accepted them as part of her role as a leader, accepted the inevitability of death in the midst of life.

She finished wiping her sword and placed it on the table, a small block of wood under its tip. Lexa removed her whetstone from its pouch, checked to ensure its surface was still oily, and with smooth, practiced strokes, she polished the blade, then did the same to her other sword and her knives. The practiced, rhythmic motions helped her relax, and made it less painful to think about Clarke.

Lexa put her whetstone away and sheathed all her weapons then she stood for a while on the balcony, watching the flicker of firelight and lanterns below. Out of new habit, she pulled Clarke’s watch out of her shirt and ran her fingertips over its face. She had worn the cord on which the watch hung since Zander brought it to her, tucked into her shirt. Safe against her heart.

This piece of Clarke she would protect as if it were Clarke herself, until she could return it. She traced the watch’s band and closed her fingers around it. She would always protect Clarke, despite the gulf between them. She went inside to remove her armor and facepaint and revel in the few hours free of them before she had to don them again. Perhaps some day, life for all would be about more than just surviving.

  
1 _Yu gonplei ste odon_ : Your fight is over (said at death)

 

###

“Clarke.”

The voice sounded far away. But she was so tired. Maybe she was dreaming.

“Clarke,” it said again, more insistent. “Wake up.”

She opened her eyes, and her hand automatically moved to the hilt of her knife.

Octavia straightened. “There are three Ice Nation warriors at the gate.”

“Shit. When did they get here?” Now fully awake, Clarke swung her legs over the edge of the cot and pulled her boots on.

“A few minutes ago. Put these on.” She handed her a Guard-issue jacket and a helmet. “Hide your hair. They might be looking for you.”

Clarke did as Octavia instructed. “Where’s Wash?”

“Out cold.”

“Good. I gave him a sedative a few hours ago.”

“We’ll deal with him later. Lincoln is by the gate.”

“My mom?”

“On her way. Kane’s already there. Come on.”

Clarke followed her out of medical, working to zip up the jacket as she dodged people hurrying through the corridor. They emerged into a gray dawn, morning light painting a bright, thin border to the east between gray cloud cover above and mountain mist below.

“Hey,” Monty said as he jogged up to them. “Bellamy’s with Kane.”

“Do we know what they want?” Clarke asked.

“Not yet. They asked to speak to the leader.” He pointed. “There’s Kane.”

Clarke shoved the rest of her hair up into the helmet and got to Kane about the same time Abby did.

“Ready?” Kane asked.

“I’m doing this with you,” Clarke said as she adjusted the helmet lower on her forehead to help with the disguise.

Abby looked at her. “I don’t think—”

“I agree with Clarke. She needs to be here.”

Abby’s jaw clenched as she stared hard at Kane.

“She’s got this,” Bellamy said. “Trust her.”

Abby shifted her glare to him, then looked at Clarke. Bellamy smiled at her. “Open the gate,” she directed, still looking at Clarke.

“Let’s go,” she said, giving Abby a reassuring smile.

The gate swung open and at least thirty rifles were trained on the three mounted Grounders who waited a few meters away. None of them had weapons drawn, which meant they were just a messenger party. Abby and Kane went first, followed closely by Bellamy and Monty and two other Guards, all with guns trained on the Grounders. Clarke walked just behind Lincoln.

“ _Em laik Abi, heda kom Skaikru,_ ”2 Octavia said to the warrior in front, whose facial scars marked him as Ice Nation. He wore his beard much shorter than many Grounder men, though he hadn’t taken the same approach with his hair and braids. His two companions wore masks that hid the lower halves of their faces, designed to both conceal them and scare opponents. In battle mode, it probably worked.

Octavia stepped aside for Abby, who looked up at him. His horse stamped and snorted and the leather of his saddle creaked.

“ _Ai laik Kriyo kom Azgeda_ ,”3 he said. “I come with a message from _plana_ Nia.”

Clarke had positioned herself slightly behind Lincoln, but she could still see what transpired. Krio’s eyes were set too close together, she decided, and it made him look shifty.

Abby kept her hands at her sides, and she looked relaxed, but Clarke knew her body language. She was anything but relaxed. “What message?”

“Nia requests a gathering with _Skaikru_.”

“For what purpose?”

The two warriors behind Krio shifted in their saddles and their gazes swept the crowd. Clarke lowered her eyes and positioned herself more behind Lincoln.

“Nia would offer _Skaikru_ protection from the threat of a _kongeda_ led by Commander Lexa.”

“We’ve heard of this _kongeda_ ,” Abby said. “And we have no fight with _Trikru_ or with _Azgeda_.”

Clarke silently approved that Abby used the Trigedasleng terms.

“Nia seeks no fight with _Skaikru_. She only seeks to protect the clan of _Wanheda_.”

Abby stiffened a little more at the word applied to Clarke. “Why is _Azgeda_ interested in the affairs of _Skaikru_? We’re far from your nation.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows in surprise at Abby’s phrasing. She sounded as if she’d been practicing dealing with Grounders. Or maybe she’d just picked a few things up since the mountain.

“ _Trikru_ is not so far from _Skaikru_. It is a matter of time before the Commander will war with _Skaikru_.”

Clarke could almost feel the tension grow among the watchers who stood clumped at the open gate.

“The Commander will seek to force _Skaikru_ to bow to her and support the _kongeda_ ,” Krio said.

“How does Nia know this?” Abby kept her voice level, and Clarke appreciated how calm she sounded.

“That is talk for a gathering.”

Clarke watched the other two warriors as they continued to observe those who watched them. Their gazes were deliberate, and Clarke knew instinctively they were looking for her.

“I can’t give a response now. This is a decision that must be discussed.”

“We will return in three days.”

“We’ll provide one then,” Abby said and Krio turned his horse back toward the forest. The three warriors rode away. “Back inside,” Abby ordered everyone who stood outside the gate.

Clarke took the helmet off and walked with her and Kane back to medical. “You can’t meet with her.”

“I’m not discussing this with you,” Abby said as she entered medical.

“Mom, it’s what Nia wants you to do. She’s also lying about Lexa and _Trikru_. Lexa doesn’t want a fight with us. She would prefer an alliance with us to help maintain peace.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Yes, we do.” Clarke gave Kane a pleading look.

“What Clarke said yesterday appears to be coming true,” he said. “She did say that Nia would try to ally with us against Lexa.”

“Well, maybe they have a point about Lexa.” Abby planted herself in the middle of the room, hands on her hips. “She’s willing to leave us in the middle of a fight, it stands to reason she’d do something else that puts us in danger.”

Clarke fought to keep her temper down. “Lexa’s decision at Mt. Weather wasn’t about us. It was about the best deal she could get for her people.”

“We were her collateral damage, Clarke,” Abby snapped. “She didn’t care, after all you and Bellamy and Raven and Octavia did. She left us to die.”

“She made a decision to preserve her people. You would have done the same. And you _have_ done the same.” She didn’t mention her father, or the three hundred who sacrificed themselves on the Ark, but her implication was clear.

“Let’s calm down,” Kane said, “and think about this. Abby, you should call a meeting so we can discuss Nia’s offer. The sooner the better.”

“I’ll do it now. Thirty minutes.” She left medical and Clarke closed her eyes, trying to calm down.

“She wants what’s best for us,” Kane said, tone gentle.

“So do I.” She glared at a spot on the wall. “She doesn’t trust my judgment.”

“It’s complicated. You’re her daughter.”

She looked at him. “It’s complicated because I’m not who she wants me to be.” And because she couldn’t forgive Abby for what happened to her dad. “Ice Nation is not a friend,” she said to avoid talking anymore about Abby. “Nia is not a friend. She wants to use us against Lexa and destroy the coalition so she can install herself as Commander. We’re much better off taking our chances with Lexa than with Nia.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know Lexa.”

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ speaks truth,” Wash said.

Both Kane and Clarke turned. Neither had seen him come in.

“Nia is only interested in power. Not in the people she must serve, not in the other clans.” He paused and looked at Kane. “I have known _Heda_ since she was _yongon_ ,4 training up. She was born to serve as Commander, and to serve her people.” He turned to Clarke. “I will speak for _Heda_ with your leaders.”

She glanced at Kane. “Lexa clearly trusts him. And he knows much more about Ice Nation than we do.”

“I don’t have any problem with it,” Kane said. “Abby, on the other hand…”

“She needs to start trusting _me_. I’ll change Wash’s bandages and we’ll go to the meeting.”

“I’ll wait for you.” He smiled at her and Clarke relaxed a bit. She needed Kane’s support in this.

“Thanks,” she said as she motioned Wash to a chair. From Kane’s expression, he knew she was thanking him for more than just waiting. The shirt Abby had provided for Wash was unbuttoned, so Clarke pushed it open and removed the old bandages. “Looking good.” She applied more salve.

“You are also born to serve as a leader,” he said as she worked.

“I’m not sure I agree.” She returned the salve to the cabinet.

He smiled. “ _Heda_ said the same thing to me, years ago, when her mother died.”

Clarke looked at him. She’d never thought of Lexa having parents. Or a childhood.

“She asked how she could be born to lead, when her parents were simple people. Not warriors.”

Clarke placed a bandage on his chest and taped it. “Lexa’s parents weren’t warriors?”

“No. But she has the blood of a Commander, so they sent her to Polis to begin her training for the Conclave.”

Clarke finished taping the bandage on his shoulder. “What does that mean, the blood of a Commander?”

“Only _Natblida_ 5 can take the spirit of the Commander and _Heda_ is one of those. The spirit chose her, out of all in her Conclave.”

“Do all _Natblida_ —” she stumbled with the word, “become Commanders?”

“No. There are many in a Conclave. Only one survives.” He moved his arm around to test the bandage.

“How many were in Lexa’s Conclave?”

“Nine.”

“Clarke,” Kane said. “We should go.”

Wash stood and buttoned his shirt. He had cleaned up and rebraided his hair and Clarke wondered how long he’d been awake.

Bellamy entered medical just as Clarke was reaching for the door.

“Hey,” he said to her. “I figured you’d want to bring Wash, but you know how Sanders is about Grounders.”

“So you’re here as an escort.” She eyed the pistol on his belt.

“Something like that.”

“Good. You should hear this, too.”

“I’m counting on it.” He grinned and Clarke allowed herself to smile. Kane squeezed her shoulder in support and she followed him into the corridor, Wash next to her and Bellamy in back. Somehow, she had to make Abby understand that an alliance with _Trikru_ was a much better plan than one with Nia. She glanced at Wash. The things he had said about Lexa added more layers to her mystery. She shouldn’t care, after the mountain. She shouldn’t care, after the betrayal. But she couldn’t stop herself from doing it. In spite of herself, in spite of all that had happened, Clarke no longer dreaded seeing Lexa again. Far from it.

She needed to.

  
2 _Em laik Abi, heda kom Skaikru_ : She is Abby, leader of Sky Crew  
3 _Ai laik Kriyo kom Azgeda_ : I am Krio of/from Azgeda  
4 _yongon_ : child (usually one’s own, but also in use as a general term)  
5 _Natblida_ : Nightblood (dark blood—those who carry the black blood of the first Commander Becca)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! Today was crazy, what with work and a couple of other things that came up. Sorry these chapters are a bit late this Friday. I generally Tweet what I'm up to in that regard, so if you're wondering WTF, check me on Twitter (@andimarquette).
> 
> So Lexa has an idea about Jos, and you'll find out just what it is after she has to deal with a crappy part of her role as Commander and as a member of this culture, which has requirements about what to do with people who commit egregious acts.
> 
> Meanwhile, things shift into high gear at Arkadia because of a visit from three warriors. You can probably guess what clan they're from, but the point is, Clarke is going to have to make some decisions and FAST.
> 
> Thanks for hanging out with me thus far! And thanks for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate people taking the time to read what I'm up to. I do respond to comments; it may take me a bit, but DON'T WORRY I'll get there! You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A few songs I listened to during the creation of this chapter: Phoria, "Evolve"; Serj E "Alone"; Hailee Steinfeld, "Love Myself"


	14. Journeys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa checks in with Jos then gets news from a scout and has to make a decision regarding Arkadia. For her part, Clarke faces the Arkadia council again.

First light had barely brushed the windows of the tower when Lexa left her quarters in light battle dress and facepaint, her swords on her back and her knives on her belt. She would put extra warriors at points Nia might attempt to exploit in the future, if something happened that would provide her cause. It was more for show, because she knew _Azgeda_ scouts would be watching and while Lexa fortified some areas openly, she was doing the same furtively elsewhere. Already, fifteen warriors were prepared to dispatch Nia’s encampment along the ridgeline.

 _Azgeda_ were not the best at woods craft and Lexa was confident none of those Nia had sent to the ridgeline were aware of the enemy all around them. For all her years as _Azgeda_ ruler, Nia’s tactics hadn’t changed much. But she was cunning, and Lexa knew not to underestimate her.

A guard accompanied Lexa in the lift to the ground floor, where Indra waited. They descended to the lower levels via the stairwell.

“Has she come to a decision?” Lexa asked, though she already knew what it was, given Jos’s situation.

“Yes. But she has not revealed it to me.” She removed a torch from its holder.

The guard at Jos’s door acknowledged them and opened it. He stood aside as Indra entered first, Lexa a step behind.

“ _Heda_ ,” Jos said. She was already standing.

“Speak.”

“I will do what you propose.”

Lexa glanced at Indra. “Fetch Titus.”

She ducked her head out of the cell and addressed the guard, then leaned back in.

“How many messages did you pass to Landis?” Lexa asked. She needed to assess the damage Jos had done and perhaps adjust her strategies.

“Four, including the one you have.” She held Lexa’s gaze, unwavering, a sign that her loyalties may indeed have shifted somewhat.

“Tell me of the first three.”

“The first was about _Wanheda_. Nia wanted to know if she was hiding in Polis. I determined that she was not.”

“The second?”

“Whether _Trikru_ was planning an alliance with _Skaikru_. From the clan meetings and the discussions about the _kongeda_ I have witnessed, it seems such an alliance is not in _Trikru_ ’s plans, and neither is _Wanheda_.”

Indra shifted her weight and the light from the torch threw a few extra shadows onto the stone walls with the movement. Lexa studied Jos’s face, searching for signs of lies or information withheld. Still, Jos didn’t waver beneath the scrutiny.

“And the third?”

“A list of the clans that seem most supportive of the _kongeda_.”

Lexa kept her expression impassive. She had her own ideas about which of those would support her, but she was curious about Jos’s impressions.

“Tell me.”

For the first time in the conversation, Jos hesitated.

“If you are to pass information to me, you should begin now.”

“Almost all are supportive, _Heda_. _Ingranronakru_ 1 is concerned that _Trikru_ may not be able to bring _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_ because of Nia. _Boudalankru_ 2 worry that Nia will enter the _kongeda_ to undermine it. _Trishanakru_ would prefer not to bring _Azgeda_ in, but if Nia was not _plana_ , they would think differently.”

Jos’s observations about the clans matched Lexa’s, but she appreciated that Jos had been able to make those pronouncements without being privy to many of the discussions that occurred after meetings. She was clever, indeed. And observant.

“What messages did Nia send to you?”

“She sent me two since my arrival, through the messengers Landis would meet in the forest. Both were questions she wanted me to answer about my messages to her. The first and second messages she sent requested information about a _Skaikru_ alliance and the support of the clans.”

Lexa heard Titus’s approach before he got to the door.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said as he entered, wearing his customary robe.

“ _Jos kom Azgeda_ has chosen,” Lexa said. “ _Sis em au_.” 3

He nodded. “It will be as we discussed.”

To Jos, Lexa said, “You will tell Titus everything you told me and you will follow his instructions.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“If you do not, you will die. If you attempt to continue to pass messages to Nia that I have not approved, you will die.”

Jos nodded, her gaze again unwavering.

“But if you serve well, you and your children may have a place in Polis.”

Her eyes widened and she nodded.

Satisfied, Lexa glanced at Indra. Titus took the torch from her and Indra followed Lexa out of the cell.

“Arling and Tam?” Lexa asked as they walked.

“Gone to the trading stop. I have begun moving forces as we planned.”

She nodded and went up the stairs, thinking that she should eat. They had a bit of time before Nia sent another clan rep to Polis, and as long as Jos remained, Nia would bide her time. But not for long.

She emerged from the stairwell, Indra behind her, and thought again about eating, but walked instead down the dim corridor to the heavy double doors that would take her outside. A vague uneasiness colored her mood this day, so perhaps sparring at the guard house would help clear her mind.

Indra remained by her side but said nothing and Lexa knew that she probably understood that she was restless and needed to do something about it. Two more warriors removed the heavy bar from the doors and pushed them open. The early morning sun sliced through a light cloud cover and the smell of woodsmoke and cooking meat from the marketplace greeted Lexa as she walked to the guardhouse. Already, a few warriors who were off duty were practicing with various weapons.

“ _Heda_ ,” they all said when they saw her.

“ _Kigon_ ,” she said as she went inside the guardhouse and retrieved two training swords.

Outside, she swung them, testing their weight. They would do. She kept her own weapons sheathed and warmed up with the training swords, going through an intricate series of patterns and stances, shifting fluidly from one to another and back again. After a few minutes of that, she selected an opponent also armed with swords. Once sparring, her unease dissipated like the morning’s mist, and for a few minutes, her mind cleared, and all she knew was movement, muscles, and clang of metal on metal.

She knocked one of her sparring partner’s swords out of her hand but the warrior adjusted and gave Lexa another minute or so of fight with one blade before Lexa broke through her defense and the battle ended, both breathing heavily, one of Lexa’s blades at her opponent’s throat. She stepped back and lowered her swords.

“ _Os. Mochof, gona_.” 4 She handed her the training swords, pleased at the skill her opponent had exhibited.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” The warrior bowed her head and took the swords back into the guardhouse.

Lexa glanced at Indra as they walked back to the tower. “She is from Tondc, yes?”

Indra nodded, and what might have been a smile pulled at the corner of her mouth.

“You are training her well.”

“I know.”

Lexa smiled. The sparring had relaxed her somewhat, and she was ready to eat when a commotion pulled her attention away from the tower. A group of her warriors surrounded two mounted horsemen and they were approaching quickly. Lexa’s right hand rested on the hilt of one of her knives. Several guards emerged from the tower to form a semicircle around her. Indra had already drawn her short sword.

“ _Heda_ ,” the warrior in front addressed her. “This scout brings news.”

Randyl, part of Wash’s team. He dismounted, and from his demeanor, he had been riding for a while. He wore grime and exhaustion on his face like tattoos. Blood stained his shirt on his left arm.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “ _Azgeda_ scouts watch Arkadia. They have breached the perimeter.”

The earlier unease filled her chest again. “Where are Wash and Tomac?”

“We were attacked. Wash told us to follow the _Azgeda_ scouts. We went back for him, but he was not where we had left him.”

“Taken by _Azgeda_?”

“No. They would have killed him.”

“ _Skaikru_.” Indra glanced at Lexa, who nodded. If that was true, Wash had a better chance of survival than with _Azgeda_. Especially if Clarke had arrived at Arkadia safely.

“ _Mebi_.” 6 He pulled a piece of parchment from inside his shirt. “ _Skaikru_ sends its own scouts out.” He unfolded the parchment, on which was drawn a crude map of the area around Arkadia. “Here—two days ago—we spoke with _Belomi kom Skaikru_ and _Linkon kom Trikru_.” 5 He pointed at a spot right on the perimeter. “We told them of the _Azgeda_ scouts.”

“Where were you attacked?” Lexa asked.

“Here.” He moved his fingertip east and slightly north of the place they had talked with Bellamy and Lincoln. “The _Azgeda_ scouts were on horses, as well. They crossed the perimeter and went this way—” he traced a path that went south, toward Arkadia, then west. “They had a camp here. The three we chased passed it by and kept riding west.”

Lexa looked up from the map at him. “How many _Azgeda_ have you seen since you got there?”

He was silent as he considered. “Twenty.”

“Why so many?” Indra took the map from him. “War party?”

“No.” Randyl tapped the map. “We saw nothing to suggest that. Most are scouts.”

“Nia is moving _gona_ into _Skaikru_ territory.” Indra’s hard gaze caught Lexa’s.

“But not as _gona_ , not at first.” Clever of Nia. She was sending in advance troops, and placing them strategically, spacing them out in small encampments that served as bases for roving bands of scouts that could easily be mobilized into a larger fighting force.

“ _Heda_ ,” Randyl said, “when we could not find Wash where we had left him, we decided that I would return to Polis. Tomac stayed, to watch.”

She nodded. That was wise.

“I saw a group of three more _Azgeda_ , going south toward Arkadia. Krio was one.”

Lexa nailed him with her gaze. “Are you sure?”

“ _Sha_.”

She shifted her gaze to Indra. “Nia has sent him to Arkadia.” She didn’t need to voice the next part. Krio would serve as Nia’s representative to open negotiations for an alliance between _Azgeda_ and _Skaikru_. “Indra, I want ten scouts. Send five now to Arkadia, through Tondc. You will go with them. Five more will ride with me, directly to Arkadia.” She took the map from her. “We will meet here.” She pointed at a spot about a mile north of the perimeter. She looked at Indra. “I am not _Heda_ until we are at the gates of Arkadia. Instruct your scouts.”

“ _Sha_.” Indra turned and left.

“See to it that Randyl is tended to,” Lexa ordered the closest guards before she turned and walked swiftly into the tower to the lift. “Find Titus now,” she said to one of the servants in the corridor. “Send him to my quarters.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said as she stepped onto the lift, a guard scrambling to accompany her.

They could make Arkadia in a few hours, if they rode fast.

  
1 _Ingranronakru_ : Plains Rider Crew   
2 _Boudalankru_ : Rock Line Crew   
3 _Sis em au_ : Help/assist her   
4 _Os. Mochof, gona_ : Good. Thank you, warrior   
5 _Belomi kom Skaikru_... _Linkon kom Trikru_ : Bellamy of/from Sky Crew...Lincoln of/from Woods Clan (Tree Crew)   
6 _mebi_ : maybe; perhaps

**###**

“It seems none of our choices are good.” Abby glanced around the table and Sanders snorted.

“When it comes to Grounders, that’s usually how it is,” he said.

Wash stood away from the table with Clarke and Bellamy. Clarke couldn’t read his expression, but she knew he would remember everything that happened here.

“This is about local politics.” Kane’s tone carried a warning for Sanders. “It wouldn’t matter who we were dealing with.”

Sinclair murmured in agreement. “Nothing gets uglier than local politics.”

“Is anyone of the opinion that we make a decision now?” Abby folded her hands on the table in front of her. No one spoke and Clarke bit her tongue to keep from interjecting something. She was not at the table because she was not part of the decision-making process and she knew Abby had done that on purpose.

“Fine,” Abby continued. “We’ll convene again tomorrow morning. That’ll still give us two days.”

Sanders pushed back from his chair and strode out of the room. Kane, Abby, and Sinclair stood but didn’t follow him.

“The answer needs to be no,” Clarke said. Bellamy put his hand on her arm but she shook it off.

Abby’s expression hardened. “And if we say no up front and this Nia doesn’t like it? From what Wash said, she might declare war on us, too.”

“Abby’s right,” Kane said. “Whatever we say, there could be serious consequences.”

“We need Lexa.”

Abby shook her head. “Clarke—”

“She can provide warriors and Nia may not be ready to challenge her yet. Lexa still has the backing of most of the clans.”

“Clarke speaks true,” Wash said.

Abby crossed her arms.

“Bellamy, could you take Wash back to medical?” Clarke said to blunt the argument she saw brewing in Abby’s eyes. “I’ll be right there.”

He looked at Abby then back at Clarke. “Yeah. See you in a bit.”

“Thank you, Wash,” Abby said. “I appreciate your insights.”

He inclined his head and left with Bellamy.

“What will it cost us to ally with Lexa?” Abby’s eyes flashed fire as she addressed Clarke.

“I don’t know. An agreement of loyalty, I suppose.”

“She doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”

Clarke fought her temper. “This isn’t about Mt. Weather. It’s about Ice Nation.”

“How can you dismiss what she did like that?”

“Abby,” Kane said softly.

“I haven’t,” Clarke snapped. “But Mt. Weather is done. Lexa made the decision, she acted on it, and she’s clearly moved on to other decisions. This is one of them. It’s in her best interests to ally with Sky Crew and have a united front against Nia.”

“Clarke has a point.”

Abby turned her glare to Sinclair.

“Kane, you’ve dealt with Lexa, too,” he said. “What’s your sense?”

He pursed his lips. “She’s young, but she’s a visionary. And sometimes working within that vision and trying to do the best thing for your people means you have to make hard decisions. I don’t think what she did at Mt. Weather was easy for her. But I don’t think she loses sleep over it, either.”

Clarke gritted her teeth to keep from saying something and it struck her, again, that she wanted to defend Lexa, when her decision at the mountain nearly tore Clarke’s heart from her chest.

“But I think she would welcome an alliance with us, since it sounds like there’s bad blood between most of the clans and Ice Nation. It’s beneficial to her as well as us.”

Abby visibly tensed.

“I’ll go to Polis,” Clarke said.

“No.” Abby’s tone was intractable.

“There’s no other way.”

“If we decide to work with Lexa, we can send a messenger,” Kane said.

“It has to be me.” Clarke locked gazes with Abby. “You know it does.”

“Why?” Sinclair asked. “If we send a message, it could be anybody.”

“It won’t hold the same weight,” Clarke said, and Abby’s jaw muscles tensed. “Besides, as long as I’m here, I’m putting you all at risk for an Ice Nation attack.”

Sinclair’s gaze bounced between Abby and Clarke. “What do you mean?”

“The bounty on me is because of Nia. If you say yes to her, she’ll expect that I serve some kind of purpose in her fight with Lexa.” Nia would probably kill her, Clarke knew, but she’d do it in such a way that Lexa would have to watch. Clarke wasn’t sure which thought made her more ill. “And if you don’t give me up to her, you will all suffer.”

“We’ll be pawns.” Kane ran his hands through his hair.

Sinclair shook his head. “Seems we already are.”

“I have to go to Polis,” Clarke repeated. “And see if Lexa will meet with us.” She knew she would, but she also knew Abby would not allow Clarke to fully represent Arkadia.

“I say we just ask her for an alliance. It’s not like Clarke hasn’t done this before with her.”

Abby looked like she wanted to punch Sinclair.

“Clarke has dealt with Lexa in worse circumstances than this,” Kane said in his diplomatic tone. It didn’t seem to be working on Abby this time, though. “Hell, Clarke walked into her camp and got her to go to Mt. Weather in the first place. I think we should let her go talk to Lexa.”

“Trust me,” Clarke said to Abby.

“You’ve been gone for three months because of stress,” Abby retorted. “And now you think you can broker a deal with Lexa, who helped cause that stress? I don’t think so.”

“That’s not relevant.”

“Abby—”

She ignored Kane. “Clarke, you aren’t ready to be making decisions like this.”

Sinclair’s eyes widened and Kane frowned. Clarke stared at her, but she couldn’t even be that angry, since what Abby said was what she expected from her every time they had important matters to talk about. Clarke had spent months dealing with life and death, months making decisions like this every day. Even in the midst of her worst days after the mountain, she had stayed alive, and recognized where she ended and the ghosts began. She damn well _could_ make decisions like this, but Abby refused to accept that.

“You sent me and my friends down here with no weapons, no meds, and hardly any food, and if it hadn’t been for us, none of you would even have known what to do about the Grounders or the Mountain Men. I’d say I’ve done pretty well with decision-making.” As much as some of them left wounds on her soul, she’d still been able to make them.

Abby flushed. “I meant right now, after being gone as long as you were.”

“That’s not relevant, either, and you know it. Every damn day out there requires major decision-making. You need me for this. I’m right here. Let me go to Polis.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Kane said.

Sinclair nodded. “Same here.”

Abby looked at them. “Could you give us a minute?”

Kane shared a glance with Clarke and then both men left and Clarke braced for the fight. It seemed the two of them could never have a conversation anymore without conflict.

“You have to understand this is hard for me,” Abby said softly. “I’ve almost lost you so many times. . .”

Clarke kept quiet, because it made little sense to say that Abby had lost her the day Wells admitted that it was Abby who caused Clarke’s father to die. She wondered sometimes if it would have been better if Wells hadn’t told her.

“I know things aren’t good between us. I wish that was different, but I’m trying to respect it. And as much as you hate that I’m your mother, I will always love you and I will always do everything I can to protect you.”

“Like sending me to the ground?” She regretted saying it the second it left her mouth. “Never mind. That was the least bad choice of a bunch of bad choices. And that’s what me going to Polis is. The least bad.”

“Clarke—”

“Why won’t you trust my judgment or experience?” Clarke clenched her fists at her sides, but forced herself to unclench them just as quickly.

“These are decisions nobody should make alone. Least of all someone still so young.”

“Young?” She stared at her, not believing Abby had used that with her. “Young?” she repeated, and Abby seemed to flinch. “Nobody was young on the Ark. Nobody ever had a childhood because we had to think about the fact that anything we did could’ve gotten us blown out an airlock when we hit eighteen. You sent a hundred of us down here, and hoped we’d survive.” She fought another wave of anger. If she lost her temper, she’d also lose the high ground. “You counted on us finding a way to do it. You didn’t think we were young then. So why are you saying that now?”

Abby didn’t respond, but the look in her eyes indicated that Clarke had won this round.

“I can make it to Polis in a day or less without a horse,” Clarke said. “But I have to leave soon, before Ice Nation comes back for an answer. And the longer you wait, the worse this could be.” She turned and stalked out of the room before Abby could say anything. Halfway to medical she stopped and leaned against the wall. Her legs trembled, a combination of stress and not eating, she realized. She needed to do that before she left for Polis. And no matter what Abby’s decision was, Clarke would leave Arkadia before nightfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS! You know when there are these two paths that are largely parallel for whatever reasons, and then things start to happen that end up pushing those paths together? That's how I see this chapter, and I hope you do, too, especially in the first part.
> 
> Lexa has a lot on her plate. She's got to get some things squared away in terms of Jos and then she figures she'll send a messenger to Arkadia. Maybe. Things could happen.
> 
> And Clarke is dealing with an age-old battle with Abby. We all know how THAT could go.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos! I try to respond to comments as soon as I can. If it takes me a bit, don't worry. I'll get to it ASAP. You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Songs I listened to while in the throes of creation for this chapter: Japanese Wallpaper and Airling, "Forces"; Chicane, "Leaving Town"; Lauren Aquilina, "Kicks"


	15. Scars Old and New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke leaves Arkadia for Polis after the visit from the Ice Nation warriors. But things don't go as planned.

Clarke checked to make sure she had extra bandages for Wash in her pack. She’d given the dead Ice Nation warrior’s sword to him, since she wasn’t skilled with it, and now the two of them waited in the garage for Octavia and Lincoln. Bellamy would drive them past the perimeter, into Woods Clan territory, then go and pick up Monty, Jasper, and Harper in a different spot. They had left on foot patrol two hours earlier. That way, Bellamy would leave with a few and come back with a few, and that would fool—at least for a while—any Ice Nation scout watching Arkadia.

The side door opened and Clarke looked up, expecting Octavia. Instead, she gritted her teeth as Abby approached. She put her pack in the back of the Rover and went to meet her before she got closer.

“You might need this,” Abby said. She held a pistol out, butt-first, and a clip of ammo.

Clarke stared at her but automatically took the weapon. “Why—”

“You’re my daughter, no matter how you feel about that. And you’re right about this. You know Lexa best, of all of us.”

She heard what that cost to say in her tone. “Thank you.” She slid the gun into her belt and put the ammo in her pants pocket.

“I need to let go of the fact that you’re not a kid anymore—maybe you never were. But I hope you can understand that I don’t want to lose you, and sometimes, my judgment gets clouded where you’re concerned.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry for pushing you.” Her eyes stung with tears and she swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat.

“You have to sometimes. We still have a lot to work through. But let’s not do it now.”

Clarke nodded, and laughed a little. “Yeah. This is kind of a bad time.”

Abby smiled and a tear slid out of her eye. “Do you have enough food?”

“Yes.”

“Meds?”

She nodded. “Jackson knows. I put it in the inventory. And when I get back, we need to talk about these supply runs you’ve been making to Mt. Weather.”

Abby smiled. “Now who’s being bossy? It’s all within the agreement we made with Lexa’s people. Once a month, we go up and get as much as can, though yes, there are several people here who want to move into the mountain.”

Clarke started to say something but Abby stopped her with a headshake. “As much as I would like to do that, we made an agreement.”

“It’s about more than that,” Clarke said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It represents so much more than that to Grounders. We can’t ever live there.”

“I understand its significance.”

“Mom, listen to me. We can’t ever live there.”

“Hey,” Octavia said as she came in. At the sight of Abby, she stopped and her eyes widened.

“It’s okay.” Clarke motioned her over.

“How—”

“Kane,” Abby said. “I promised him I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Who else knows?” Octavia shot a look at Clarke.

“Nobody,” Abby said. “Lexa’s not the most popular person here, after all.”

“That may be true, but don’t talk to Ice Nation.” Clarke grabbed Abby’s arm. “Trust me on this, too.”

“Kane and Sinclair and I are going to try to figure out how to put them off a couple more days if we don’t hear from you. But we need a definite answer either way from Lexa.”

Clarke nodded and looked up as Lincoln and Bellamy came in. Bellamy looked at Clarke, a question in his eyes. She nodded at him, letting him know it was okay.

“Everybody ready?” He looked the group over. “Let’s go.” He climbed into the driver’s seat and Octavia stood by the front passenger door.

“Good luck,” Abby said to Clarke.

“You, too.” Clarke pulled her into a quick hug. “We’ll have that conversation later.”

“I hope so.” Abby cleared her throat and Clarke knew she was trying not to cry. She got into the back of the Rover behind Octavia and shoved her hair up into the helmet Bellamy handed her.

“Just for a little while,” Bellamy said. “I know how much you like wearing it.”

Octavia snorted and Lincoln helped get Wash settled in the back before he climbed in next to Clarke. Octavia pushed the garage door open and waited for Bellamy to drive past. She closed it and got in.

“I cleared us already, so we should be good,” Bellamy said as they approached the gate. The guards on the platforms above waved at him as two other guards pushed the gates open.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief as they drove through and headed into the forest, through the slow drizzle that had started after the meeting.

“If you make good time, you should be there tomorrow morning. That gives you almost two days before Ice Nation comes back.”

“Yeah,” she said, staring out the window. They’d have to stop and rest a bit for Wash, but she also knew she wasn’t at full strength, either. Making Polis by morning might be generous.

They rode in silence, the vehicle lurching side to side. Tension knotted in Clarke’s stomach and chest as she braced herself to prevent getting knocked around too much. After a while, she took the helmet off. She had managed to eat earlier, but not as much as she probably should have. Lincoln stared impassively out the front window. A couple of times, Octavia turned and looked at her, but didn’t say anything.

“This is it,” Bellamy said after a long while. “We’re a good three miles past the perimeter.” He stopped and Octavia opened her door and got out. The drizzle had decreased, but that could change any time. Clarke and Lincoln got out and went to help Wash, but he waved them off. Clarke put her pack on and handed Octavia and Lincoln theirs. Wash took the one they’d scrounged for him and slung it over his good shoulder and nodded.

Bellamy hugged Octavia. “Be careful,” he said. “Not that I need to tell you that.”

“No, you don’t.” Octavia smacked him lightly on the arm and smiled and he turned to Clarke.

“I kind of hate that you’re leaving again.”

“I’m sorry.” And she was. “I hate that shit keeps happening.”

He smiled. “It manages to find you. But I’m glad you’re around. I missed you.”

Octavia snorted.

“Shut up,” he said to her. “I miss _you_ when you’re gone. I miss Clarke, too.”

“I missed you, too,” Clarke said with a smile.

“How could you not?” He handed her a radio before she could reply. “Raven just finished this. It’s a slightly longer range, maybe five miles. It won’t work in Polis, but on the way back, you can alert us.”

Clarke put it in her jacket pocket, the jacket she’d been wearing for months. It still held up and hadn’t fallen apart when she cleaned it the day before. “Tell her thanks.”

“Not until we know if they work.” He smiled and Clarke hugged him. “Keep Arkadia safe,” she whispered in his ear.

He nodded and got back into the Rover before she could say anything else.

“Come on,” Octavia said and she and Lincoln melted into the forest before Bellamy had turned the vehicle around. Clarke followed, and fell into an easy rhythm behind her and Wash, Lincoln bringing up the rear. She was a little disconcerted at how easy it was for her to do this, how much better she felt outside. Or maybe it was because she had a job to do and the ghosts didn’t prod her as hard with her focus elsewhere.

She avoided a low-hanging branch, and increased her speed. They didn’t have much time before dusk. Wash seemed to be okay, so they pressed on, following game trails and Lincoln and Wash’s knowledge of this part of the forest. Nobody spoke, and the silence between them was both comfortable and alert.

As evening crept through the trees, it brought a steadier rain. Clarke was already soaked, but she’d lived through worse weather than this down here and as long as they could still walk, they’d keep going.

Just before nightfall, they stopped and shared water out of one of Octavia’s canteens. Clarke checked Wash’s bandages in the lingering light and studied his face for any sign of fatigue or pain. He gave her a nod and smile and they continued walking. The cloud cover helped stave off full darkness, but Octavia handed each of them jerry-rigged glowsticks, courtesy of Raven. Each gave off just enough light to see a few steps in front, and they reminded Clarke of the glowing forest near the drop ship.

One foot in front of the other. Clarke watched her feet and Octavia’s back and the silence in which they traveled and the cadence of their steps were almost hypnotic. She’d spent enough time in the forests over the past weeks that she knew there were only a few hours to dawn. The rain had stopped a while ago, but Clarke sensed a larger storm in the eerie silence that descended over the trees, in the sense of expectation, as if the air itself held its breath.

Again, they stopped to rest, and this time Clarke dozed a little, waking only when Octavia gently shook her awake. The storm still hadn’t broken, but Clarke sensed dawn coming. They had to be at least halfway to Polis by now, and she fell again into the almost meditative state of their pace.

Octavia stopped suddenly and she almost ran into her. She pulled Clarke to the forest floor and they all tucked their glowsticks into their jackets. Clarke could just make out Octavia’s features in the decreasing darkness and she touched her arm, a question. Octavia motioned ahead and put her finger to her ear. Listen, the gesture said. Clarke did.

“Someone’s out there,” she whispered near Clarke’s ear.

Lincoln motioned at them to stay where they were and he moved ahead, keeping low to the ground. The darkness swallowed him.

She thought she heard something behind them, too, and she glanced at Wash, who was staring in the direction from which they’d come.

“Someone follows,” he said in a low voice. “But not long. They are careless in the forest.”

“How long have they been there?” Clarke kept her voice equally low.

“Not long,” he repeated.

“Ice Nation?” She felt rather than saw him shrug.

He stood and pulled the sword Clarke had given him out of the harness on his back. He motioned for Clarke to take a position behind a large tree, but she stayed and tried to see where Lincoln went. Octavia drew her short sword and knife.

Firelight flickered ahead and Clarke stared at it, trying to determine if it was moving or stationery.

Torches. Moving.

She drew her knife.

“Not _Trikru_ ,” Wash said softly. He motioned again for Clarke to get behind the tree. This time, she complied. The torches seemed to be getting closer. Octavia and Wash took up positions near the tree, crouching in underbrush.

From the direction they had come, Clarke saw more torchlight, flickering with the movement of its bearers. She counted five there, and four in the direction Lincoln had gone.

She hunched next to Octavia. “This is a trap. We have to get out of here.” She started backing away from the tree, moving into thicker underbrush. “Come on.” She heard voices now, speaking in the hard, flat accent of Ice Nation. Someone ordered the group to spread out—she recognized that statement—and she flattened herself against the wet earth, barely breathing. Where was Lincoln?

Her blood pounded in her ears so loudly she was sure the Ice Nation scouts could hear it. She gripped the hilt of her knife so hard her hand started to go numb. She heard what sounded like a scuffle nearby and she raised her head a little, trying to see where Wash and Octavia were.

There was a series of soft grunts and then a long sigh and suddenly Wash was right next to her lowering the body of an Ice Nation warrior to the ground. His eyes were still open and he stared at her in death. She clamped her jaws shut and got on her hands and knees and backed away.

Lincoln suddenly appeared next to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her forward, in the direction they’d been trying to go. She let him direct her, from tree to tree. She almost tripped over the body of another Ice Nation warrior and she guessed Lincoln had taken care of him. Thunder rumbled overhead and lightning tracked through the clouds.

An Ice Nation warrior was on them before Clarke could even register his presence. She automatically moved aside and slashed at him and she felt her knife slice his arm. Lincoln body-slammed him into a tree and held his wrist to keep him from using the knife in his hand. Lincoln gripped his throat with his other hand, but not before the warrior yelled. Lincoln slammed his head against the tree twice and the warrior slumped. He grabbed Clarke’s arm again and started pulling her but two other Ice Nation warriors were running toward them.

“Go,” Lincoln told her. “Run.”

“ _Wanheda_ ,” one of the warriors bellowed. Lincoln brought him down with one of his throwing knives. Wash engaged with the other, his sword clanging against the other man’s battle axe.

Clarke got the pistol out of her belt and she fumbled in her pocket for the ammo. Finally, she got it slammed home just as Wash knocked his opponent down and three more showed up.

“ _Nou frag em op_ ,” someone shouted. “ _Nia gaf em kik raun in._ ”1

One of the warriors approached her, holding a torch in one hand and a sword in the other. He lunged at her and she fired. The bullet hit his chest and knocked him back, shock in his eyes. The torch fell to the ground and the other warriors hesitated. Clarke fired again, and caught one of them in the thigh. He grunted in surprise and pain and sank to one knee.

“Leave,” Clarke said. “Or I’ll keep shooting.” She switched the gun to her right hand and drew her knife with her left.

“There are many more of us than you can kill with that,” the one she hadn’t shot said. He still held his torch and Clarke saw his other hand reaching for his own knife. She shot him, too. He yelped and clamped a hand over the wound in his side.

“Leave,” she repeated. “Now.”

“Clarke,” Octavia shouted, “behind you.”

Too late Clarke whirled. A warrior brought his spear down hard on her right forearm and a million spikes of pain raced along her nerves to her fingers. She stabbed at him, then ducked when he swung at her and jerked backward, away from his knife, but its tip tore into her thigh. She managed to bring her injured hand up in position to fire when several other warriors swarmed toward her. She fired twice, but somebody grabbed her from behind and someone else wrenched the gun and knife out of her hands.

She kicked and writhed and tore away but someone else tackled her and she went down again. This time a fist connected with her face and she sank onto her hands and knees, trying to keep her balance through the pain of both her mouth and her thigh. She tasted blood and automatically ran her tongue over her teeth, making sure they were still intact. Somebody’s boot connected with her midriff and she gasped.

“ _Hod op_ ,” somebody said and suddenly she was pulled to her feet. She deliberately sagged, which caught him off balance and she jerked up so that the back of her head connected with his nose. He howled and let go of her and she started running again. Another clap of thunder sounded overhead and she smelled the first drops of rain before they fell. If she could get away now, the rain might hide her—

She went down again hard, a warrior clinging to her legs. Still she fought, kicking and punching. Another warrior sat on her back while someone yanked her arms behind her and started to bind them. But somebody else knocked the man off her back and she immediately got to her feet. Lincoln struggled with one warrior while Octavia took on another. Lightning threaded the dawn clouds and Clarke saw at least five more warriors approaching. A massive thunderclap seemed to shake the ground and Clarke didn’t hear Octavia’s warning.

Something hit her in the back and she fell, gasping for breath. Someone grabbed her arms again and pulled them behind her. There was a knee in her lower back, keeping her almost immobile. She tried to kick, but couldn’t dislodge the warrior on her back.

“Run,” she shouted at Octavia. “Get to Polis.” Nia wanted her alive, for now. Clarke might be able to buy more time from her. The warrior smacked her on the back of her head and she winced. He finished binding her wrists and hauled her to her feet just as the storm broke with the dawn, drenching them all. She shivered and her thigh throbbed as he pushed her. Maybe if they got lucky, one of the others would make it to Polis.

She heard shouting through the rain and the warrior behind her stopped, his hand on her shoulder, digging into her flesh even through her jacket and shirts. He pushed her again, but this time he wanted her to hurry, as the clang of metal and more shouting sounded even closer. She caught a glimpse of horses through the nearby trees.

And then the man behind her made a noise that was half-grunt, half-yelp. Clarke turned to see him go down, an arrow in his chest. Four more warriors seemed to magically emerge from the forest, and they immediately engaged with the remaining Ice Nation force in a clash of weapons and shouts. The Ice Nation warriors fell back from the onslaught of the newcomers, and Clarke half-ran and half-staggered awkwardly out of the way of another Ice Nation warrior who was trying to defend himself from one of the new attackers. She kept her balance even with her hands bound behind her, and looked frantically around for her companions.

Lincoln struggled nearby with an Ice Nation warrior who had him on the ground. Clarke started toward him, not sure what she could do, but one of the newcomers reached him first and ran the warrior through before moving on to help Octavia and Wash with two more Ice Nation scouts.

She caught movement in her peripheral vision and turned as a woman clothed in a long black coat launched herself at three Ice Nation warriors and Clarke stared, unmoving, her muscles refusing to obey. All she could do was watch, her breath frozen in her chest. Hope and hurt rushed like a river through her veins as the warrior, a sword in each hand, cut a beautiful, deadly path through the Ice Nation scouts. When she pulled her blade out of the chest of the last of them and turned toward Clarke, hope overruled hurt.

“Lexa,” she said, an involuntary exclamation of shock, and she sank to her knees, trembling as the rain washed the last of her adrenaline reserves away. The intensity of Lexa’s gaze, even through the rain, was palpable—like a physical touch on her skin—and Clarke fought tears of relief, anger, and everything in between as Lexa approached, sheathed her swords, and crouched next to her.

“Hello, Clarke,” she said softly, her voice a balm along the ragged edges of Clarke’s fatigue and pain. She smelled of rain and woodsmoke, of blood and battle, and all the memories and unspoken wishes Clarke still carried. “We meet again.”

  
1 _Nou frag em op_... _Nia gaf em kik raun in*_ : Don’t kill her...Nia wants her alive (I took some liberties here; I wasn’t quite sure of the construction of “alive” paired with “wants” based on Peterson.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was one of the hardest -- possibly THE hardest -- that I've written to this point. I wanted to get the pacing and mood right in terms of events in the forest after Clarke leaves Polis (which toward the end go from 0 to 60 in terms of what's happening).
> 
> And the last few paragraphs...I'm not gonna lie. Those freaked me out. I must have re-written them dozens of times, because I really wanted them to speak to you and I wanted them to evoke the maelstrom of emotions that Clarke experienced in just a few seconds. It's a special scene for me, those last few paragraphs, and I sweated every word. I'm the most nervous about this chapter, throughout this fanfic thingie I'm attempting here, so I hope you can be gentle with me, a newbie to it.
> 
> Thank you SO much for hanging with me this long. I really appreciate the comments and kudos. I know you're all really busy, and I'm humbled that you'd choose to read this. If you leave a comment, I will answer it ASAP, but I might be out battling intergalactic monsters, so I may not get back to you right away. It doesn't mean I don't luuuuuuv you. It just means I got hung up on Makrin 10 or something for a refuel and I'll be along soon. You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A few songs I listed to during the creation of this chapter: KOLAJ, "The Touch"; Mikky Ekko, "Love You Crazy"; Adam Nickey, "Perfect Destiny"; Manufactured Superstars, "Like Satellites"


	16. To Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the battle in the forest, Clarke is exhausted and wounded and Lexa knows she has to get her to Polis. For her part, Clarke is okay with a temporary kind of alliance to help Sky Crew in the interim, and she agrees to send her posse back to Arkadia via Tondc with one of Lexa's scouts.

“I am so fucking pissed at you,” Clarke said, and her tone held anger and a pain that went much deeper than physical.

“I know.” Lexa ached to alleviate both, and to give her respite from whatever else she bore. Instead, she drew her knife and worked on cutting Clarke’s hands free. She was careful not to bump her and aggravate any injuries, but she knew not to touch her unnecessarily because she wanted that, and she knew it would feed things that had no business being nourished. Still, her fingers brushed Clarke’s, but it couldn’t be helped given how her wrists were bound.

“But damn it, I’m glad to see you right now,” Clarke added, voice raspy with fatigue.

Lexa made a soothing noise as the ties fell away from Clarke’s wrists. Nia would pay for the _Azgeda_ crawling through _Trikru_ territory, and she would pay for what she was trying to do to _Skaikru_. She helped Clarke up and inspected her lip, which was visibly swollen. Blood caked the corner of her mouth. Nia would pay for that, as well. “What other wounds?”

“A lot. I don’t think anything was poisoned, though.”

“They wanted you alive.” She motioned Clarke toward the shelter of a huge tree, which blocked a lot of the rain. Clarke started to walk, but Lexa saw the cut on her thigh, and the blood that soaked her trousers. She braced Clarke’s arm over her shoulder and helped her, ignoring both Clarke’s protestations and the wave of heat and longing that rushed down her back at the feel of Clarke pressed up against her. She helped her sit against the tree then unbuckled her swords so she could remove her coat and drape it around Clarke’s shoulders.

Lexa expected her to protest about that, and for her to toss the coat aside, but she didn’t. Instead, she settled into it, pain and exhaustion etched across her features. Lexa put her weapons on again, over the thick shirts she wore. She needed to get Clarke to safety as soon as possible.

She shouted to her scouts in Trigedasleng to hide the bodies, especially the ones with bullet wounds. It would do _Skaikru_ no favors if _Azgeda_ discovered that a bullet had killed at least one.

“Clarke.” Octavia ran up to her, carrying a pack and a knife. She set both on the ground next to her.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked as Octavia bent down.

“Banged up. Nothing serious. I put your gun and knife in your pack.”

“Where are Lincoln and Wash?” Clarke asked her as she used the tree to keep her standing. She held Lexa’s coat around her.

“Coming.”

“Wash?” Lexa looked at Octavia, who straightened and nodded at her.

“Commander,” she said, and Lexa saw the wariness in her eyes. “He was wounded by _Azgeda_. We found him two days ago inside the perimeter and took him to Arkadia for medical treatment.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Wash said from behind them. He grinned through the rain and blood that ran down the side of his face.

She smiled and gripped his forearm in greeting.

Lincoln was right behind him, and he ducked his head. “ _Heda_ ,” he said, as well. “ _Mochof_.”

“What are you doing here?” Octavia studied Lexa in that way she had, part challenge, part bravado.

“We were on our way to Arkadia. One of my scouts told me of an _Azgeda_ party that seemed to be following someone, so we backtracked to find them.” She didn’t say that she was worried that the scouts might be trailing Clarke.

“And heard the gunshots?” Octavia said.

“Yes, which indicated Sky Crew.”

Clarke looked at Lexa. “You were on your way to Arkadia? Did Zander get to Polis?”

“Yes. So, too, did _Randyl kom Trikru_ ,1 who was with Wash before you found him. He told us that there were many _Azgeda_ near Arkadia, and also that _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ is in the area.”

“Krio?”

Lexa nodded, careful not to allow herself to sink too deeply into Clarke’s eyes, or get lost along the lines of her face. “He is _plana_ Nia’s formal representative. I ejected him from Polis a few days ago.”

“He wants a gather with Sky Crew,” Clarke said. “He showed up at Arkadia at dawn yesterday with two other warriors.”

Lexa frowned. She’d been right in her supposition after Randyl told her what he’d seen.

“My mom is chancellor. She told them she needed time to consider meeting with Nia. Krio also said that _Trikru_ is planning to go to war against _Skaikru_.”

Lexa ran her fingers along the hilt of one of her knives. “That is what Nia would have you believe. How much time did Krio grant Sky Crew to consider the offer?”

“Three days,” Clarke said.

“Nia also claims that she wishes to protect _Wanheda_ ,” Lincoln said, with a head gesture in Clarke’s direction. “And that you will force _Skaikru_ to bow before you for the _kongeda_.”

Lexa scowled.

“Clarke insisted that we needed to get to Polis before the three days were up,” Octavia said, not without a trace of what sounded like sarcastic affection for Clarke in her tone.

Lexa looked at Clarke again, daring to hope that she had, indeed, made this decision of her own accord.

“ _Skaikru_ seeks an alliance with _Trikru_ ,” Clarke said, “before Nia tries to force them into something with _Azgeda_. But this is probably not the place to talk about it.”

“I have come to the same conclusion,” Lexa said in agreement.

“You were going to Arkadia to try to make an alliance with _Trikru_?” Octavia sounded skeptical. “Did you know Clarke was there?”

“No, but Zander said she was on her way, and I hoped that was the case, because _Klark kom Skaikru_ is often a voice of reason when it comes to matters such as these. I am not so foolish to think that _Skaikru_ would welcome me without Clarke’s help. But if not, I would still have sought an audience with your acting leader.”

Octavia’s eyes widened. “You were willing to try to talk to us whether Clarke was there or not?”

“Nia threatens us all,” Lexa said. She felt Clarke’s gaze on her. “I will do what I must.”

“So what now?” Octavia asked.

“There are too many _Azgeda_ near Arkadia.” Wash glanced at Clarke then Lexa.

Lincoln’s eyes narrowed. “An attack?”

“Perhaps,” Lexa said. “If _Skaikru_ does not accept a gather with Nia, she may attempt to force an alliance with _Azgeda_. Will _Abi kom Skaikru_ 2 accept my reinforcements?” She looked at Clarke.

“What are the conditions?”

Lexa’s chest tightened at the question. Clarke was right not to enter agreements without clear boundaries set, but the cautious skepticism in her tone dug into the wound between them. “ _Skaikru_ agrees not to attack my forces, and will allow Indra to place warriors where she feels necessary, in consultation with _Skaikru_. In return, _Trikru_ will not interfere with Arkadia, but should _Azgeda_ attack either of us, we will fight against them together.”

Clarke didn’t respond for a few moments, then finally nodded. “A temporary alliance, until we discuss terms for a full alliance?”

“Yes.”

“Won’t reinforcements from you make Nia think that you’re looking to ally with us?” Octavia crossed her arms, a gesture that in this instance was almost belligerent.

“Only if done incorrectly. That will be part of my instructions to Indra.”

“We’ll take those terms back to Arkadia.” Clarke pulled Lexa’s coat tighter around her but sagged against the tree. Lexa fought an urge to go to her.

“It is not safe for you there, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Wash said. “ _Azgeda_ has no interest in protecting you or Arkadia. If you are there, you will endanger _Skaikru_.”

Lexa saw in Clarke’s eyes that she already knew that.

“So what do you want to do?” Octavia put her hands on her hips. “Take her to Polis?”

“Wash is right,” Lincoln said. “She’ll be safer in Polis.”

“And it’ll look good politically for you, won’t it?” Octavia glared at Lexa. “You’ll use Clarke again, like before. Only this time you’ll use her for your own coalition and leave us to fend for ourselves against Ice Nation. Different enemy this time, but the same scenario.”

“Do not speak to _Heda_ this way.” Wash’s tone was a clear and dangerous warning.

Lexa lifted a hand to stop him from drawing his weapon. Octavia said what Clarke would have, if she weren’t so spent, and Lexa accepted it as if it had come from Clarke. “I seek to protect all of us, _Okteivia kom Skaikru_. 3 Clarke is safer in Polis, and so is _Skaikru_ , with her there.”

Lincoln exchanged a glance with Octavia and she clamped her mouth shut.

“Lexa’s right.”

All gazes shifted to Clarke.

“I already told my mom and Kane that I shouldn’t be in Arkadia. It puts everybody at risk. I’ll go to Polis, but I need you to take Lexa’s message to my mom.”

Octavia’s jaw clenched.

“Please,” Clarke said. “She’ll believe you. Take the radio in my pack. See if you can reach Raven.”

Her brow furrowed and Lexa prepared for her to exhibit her temper. Instead, Octavia relented. “Fine.”

“And take the gun with you,” Clarke added.

Octavia frowned.

“I’m not taking a gun into Polis and you might need it.”

“Good point.” She dug in Clarke’s pack. A few seconds later she pulled the radio out and put it in her own bag, then took the gun out, checked it, and slipped it into her belt. “Where is Indra now?” she asked Lexa.

“Tondc. I’ll send Tomac with you, and Indra will accompany you to Arkadia as my representative. Tomac will tell her she has authority to act as such.”

“Indra needs you, too,” Clarke said to Octavia. “She needs you to keep my mom from getting out of hand.” She was leaning heavily on the tree and Lexa moved closer, ready to catch her if she fell. They needed to leave soon so that Clarke could rest.

“And tell Indra to be careful of Sanders,” Clarke added. “You know how he feels about Grounders. Tell my mom to make this decision with Kane and Sinclair. Get Bellamy to help. Tell him everything that happened here.”

Octavia squeezed her shoulder gently. “Would you stop trying to run the battlefield? Trust me.”

Clarke managed a smile and looked past her. “Lincoln, keep her safe.”

“I will.” From his expression, Lexa saw that he would, and she felt a kinship with him for a moment, that he was drawn to a woman not of his people, but who spoke to him on levels only the two of them could understand.

“Go with Tomac to Tondc,” Lexa said. There will be horses there, and Indra will accompany you to Arkadia.” She called Tomac and he jogged over to her, where he stood and waited as she issued him instructions. “When Indra leaves Tondc for Arkadia,” she added, “take warriors and find Krio. I want him alive and able to answer questions.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He dipped his head and retreated.

“People at Arkadia know Indra,” Clarke said to Octavia. “But please make sure Sanders is shut down.”

“I’ve got this, Clarke,” Octavia said. She gave Lexa a hard stare. “Keep her safe. No matter what kind of shit you pulled at the mountain, you keep her safe this time. If anything else happens to her—”

“ _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ ,” Wash warned her again.

Lexa raised a hand at Wash and almost smiled at Octavia’s brashness. No wonder Indra liked her. “I will do everything I can to ensure Clarke’s safety.” She extended her hand and Octavia hesitated at the gesture. She gingerly clasped Lexa’s forearm with her own hand and Lexa did the same to hers. Lexa released her a moment later. “Go. There is not much time.” The rain was already slowing, and from the clouds, the sun would soon reveal itself.

“I’ll be all right,” Clarke said as Octavia nodded.

Tomac stepped forward. “I am leaving my horse with _Heda_ ,” he said, but we are not far from Tondc.”

“Octavia,” Lexa said. “Tell _Abi kom Skaikru_ that an alliance is assured. It is just a matter of terms.”

Octavia stared at her for a moment. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” And she, Lincoln, and Tomac melted into the forest.

“Wash, get my pack and water from my horse.”

He nodded and Lexa focused on Clarke, who slid down the trunk of the tree into a sitting position.

“Nothing’s broken,” Clarke said. “Bones, anyway,” she added wryly. She leaned her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. Her features were tight with pain and Lexa wanted nothing more than to take that pain from her and bear it herself, but she knew Clarke would never allow it.

“The healers at Polis will check.”

Wash returned with what she had requested and out of her pack Lexa pulled a bundle of clean cloth and a small jar. She was most concerned about the wound in Clarke’s thigh. Clarke opened her eyes as Lexa drew her knife.

“I need to see how bad this is.”

Clarke nodded, and Lexa carefully cut through the fabric of her trousers so she could better access the wound, which was a clean slice across about half the length of her hand, and not as deep as she had originally feared, but it still seeped blood. Lexa wiped her blade on her own trousers and sheathed it then unscrewed the top of the jar and gently smeared unguent on the wound. Clarke hissed through her teeth and Lexa stopped.

“No, it’s okay. Just sensitive.”

She finished with the salve and tore a strip of cloth off the bundle and wrapped it around Clarke’s leg, tying it tight enough to help with the bleeding but loose enough to allow movement. Lexa put the cloth and salve back into her pack and picked up the waterskin.

“You need to drink,” she said as she pulled the stopper out.

“So tired,” Clarke said, but she reached for the skin, then dropped her arm. “Ow. That one hurts.” She started to reach with her left arm, but Lexa moved closer and cupped the back of her neck with one hand and held the waterskin to Clarke’s lips.

“Drink, Clarke.”

She did, a few long gulps, and Lexa reluctantly let go of Clarke’s neck as she finished.

Clarke touched the dried blood at the corner of her mouth. She looked at Lexa. “Will you—” she gestured at her mouth.

“Yes.” Lexa poured a bit of the water on another piece of cloth from her pack and dabbed carefully at the corner of Clarke’s mouth, cleaning the blood away so she could better assess the injury.

Clarke winced and Lexa stopped.

“It's okay. Keep going.”

Lexa cupped Clarke’s other cheek with her free hand to keep her head still as she worked. Clarke didn’t move away or say anything, so she continued. “Teeth?”

“Still attached. Nothing loose.”

Lexa looked up, and her gaze ran into Clarke’s. For a moment, she didn’t move as Clarke studied her, a mixture of what might have been caution and curiosity in her eyes. Lexa’s hand seemed to heat where it touched Clarke’s cheek and her other hand hovered above Clarke’s lip, the cloth poised to continue its work, but Lexa could only stare into Clarke’s eyes, until Clarke closed them and leaned back against the tree, as if satisfied with what she saw. Lexa finished cleaning the blood and stood up, immediately missing the physical contact.

“Can she ride?” Wash asked and Clarke opened her eyes.

“I’ll try.”

Lexa looked at her dubiously. “Will you accept my help?”

Clarke locked her gaze with Lexa’s again, and this time it was a physical sensation down her spine, both caress and jolt, and she wondered how anybody’s eyes could be so blue as that, as blue as a cloudless autumn sky.

“Yes,” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded. “We’ll leave soon,” she said. “Wait here with her,” she told Wash. “And on this journey, I am not _Heda_.”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said in acknowledgement of both her order and her statement.

She went to provide further instructions to her scouts. She’d already decided that she, Clarke, Wash, and three scouts would return to Polis on horses. One scout would ride after the group going to Tondc, and one other would stay behind and watch this place for a day at least to see if any _Azgeda_ appeared. Lexa issued her directives and put her pack and waterskin back on her horse and sent someone to help Wash with Clarke.

She swung onto her horse and a scout helped Clarke mount and settle herself in front of Lexa without a word of protest, which was unlike her. Clearly, they needed to get to Polis as soon as possible. The scout made sure Clarke’s pack was secure next to Lexa’s before she mounted her own horse.

“Clarke,” Lexa said softly, “I want to make sure you don’t fall.”

“Fine,” she replied, tone resigned, but at least she agreed.

It would have to do. Lexa slid one arm around Clarke’s waist and urged the horse forward. Every part of her thrummed with a strange excitement even as she stiffened so as not to broadcast it to Clarke. She needn’t have worried, since Clarke was asleep within minutes, and her body relaxed against Lexa, the back of her head resting on Lexa’s shoulder. Awake, Clarke would never have allowed this. But for now, Lexa let herself enjoy how it felt, to be this close to her, to let feelings she thought she’d buried surface and wash over her, like some kind of tide, like a mountain wind through the trees of her homelands.

No, she wouldn’t let anything happen to Clarke. Never again. The question was, how much of herself would she lose in that task?

But as they rode, and Clarke settled against her even more in sleep and turned her face toward her neck, Lexa found she didn’t care.

  
1 _Randyl kom Trikru_ : Randyl of/from Woods Clan   
2 _Abi kom Skaikru_ : Abby of/from Sky Crew   
3 _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ : Octavia of/from Sky Crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! CLEXA sharing the same space!
> 
> This chapter, too, was hard for me to write because I wanted to balance Lexa's feels with the urgency of getting business conducted with regard to decisions about who goes to Arkadia and who goes to Polis. And I wanted there to be some tentative-ness there, because Clarke is pissed, but she's also exhausted and took some hits in the fight with Ice Nation, so she's in no position to be a complete jerk to Lexa, who of course will give her the space to do just that. I hope Lexa's headspace comes through clearly.
> 
> So I'm super nervous about this chapter, too. O_O
> 
>  
> 
> So we'll see how things continue to unfold between them, and how they balance their own needs with those of their respective people.
> 
> And a little bit of business -- I'm doing 2 chapters instead of 3 this week, because DAMN, I have to write some more and make sure I have stuff for posting! #yikes
> 
> Okay, A HUGE THANK YOU to those of you who are reading. Thank you for the kudos and comments. I try to respond to comments as soon as I can; if I don't right away, don't freak. I'm probably battling monsters in Shannara or something and I'll get to it ASAP. You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some of the songs I listened to as I was hanging out with Clarke and Lexa in this chapter: Paperwhite, "Storm"; Haux, "Seaside"; Tender, "Burden"


	17. Guest of the Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke arrive at Polis with some of Lexa's scouts, and it's a little overwhelming for Clarke, this first experience with the city. But she's a trooper.

Clarke drifted in and out of sleep, vaguely aware of pain from her wounds, the movements of the horse beneath her, and the warmth of Lexa behind her. Once, when she was more awake than not, she tried to muster the anger she had carried for so many weeks but in the protective, strong circle of Lexa’s arms, with her face against her neck, anger wouldn’t come. Instead, memories of Lexa’s rare smiles and the kisses they shared in her tent overrode anything else. She was too tired to fight those, so she let herself sleep again.

It was the absence of movement and a host of new sounds that woke her the next time. She straightened, disoriented, and realized that she had been holding on to Lexa’s arm in her sleep where it wrapped around her waist. She let go and felt Lexa shift behind her.

“Polis,” Lexa said quietly and Clarke stared through the trees at the tower that rose above the city walls like a sentinel. Crowds of wagons, horses, and pedestrians pushed slowly through the gates in both directions and Clarke heard sounds that only a city could provide. The drone of myriad voices punctuated by shouts and laughter, clangs and thunks, and the intangible hum of everyday life of hundreds of people in one place.

“Wow,” Clarke said, forgetting her aches and exhaustion for a moment.

Lexa dismounted and Clarke hated that she immediately missed her, and that her absence was a physical pang.

“It’s better for you that you enter the city unassisted,” Lexa said, looking up at her, an apology in her expression.

She nodded. Appearances were important, in order to convince people of the strength of the representative of _Skaikru_. Wash walked his horse over to Lexa and handed her the reins. She mounted and he swung himself onto another horse behind its rider. Lexa said something to another scout who left the group and rode toward the city alone, at a fast pace. She then urged her new horse into a walk.

Clarke adjusted her position and gently nudged her own horse with her heels. Pain lanced through her thigh as the horse started forward and she grimaced and glanced at Lexa, who watched her over her shoulder, concern in her expression. Clarke shrugged before she tore her gaze from the deep green of Lexa’s eyes. She hated that, too—how easy it was for her to lose herself in them, how easy it would be to fall into the gulf between them and swim to Lexa’s shore.

The scouts spoke quietly with each other in Trigedasleng but she concentrated on trying to minimize the pain that riding without Lexa brought to her injuries. Now she had to use her thigh muscles to hold onto the horse, which aggravated the wound in her leg. Unable to relax against Lexa, Clarke’s back, abdomen, and arm ached from the blows she had taken.

To get her mind off that, she focused first on Lexa, and on the way she rode. Confident but alert, the crossed swords harnessed to her back further indication of her role in this world. Her hair and clothing had mostly dried, and Clarke studied her braids, wondering what they meant and wondering harder why she cared. She shifted her attention to the scouts, and to the people who shared the road with them.

Already, they were passing other riders and pedestrians, who moved aside then shouted cheers and acknowledgement at Lexa as she passed. She gave them nods and quick smiles and Clarke watched, fascinated by yet another layer of Lexa she hadn’t gotten to know.

Lexa slowed so that her horse was neck-and-neck with hers, and Clarke stole another glance at her profile. Lexa wasn’t wearing facepaint, something Clarke had rarely seen her without, and she traced the elegant lines of her cheek and jaw with her gaze, all the way to her lips. She jerked her attention back to Polis, unnerved that what stirred within wasn’t anger. She thought about Mt. Weather, and about Lexa’s betrayal, trying to displace what she was feeling, which wasn’t at all what she expected or wanted.

Finally the anger came, but not because of what Lexa had done at the mountain. Rather, because of what had been lost between them as a result of her actions.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” someone said nearby and Clarke looked around, startled.

“ _Em laik Wanheda_ ,”1 someone else said and Clarke felt a touch on her boot and she glanced down, into the eyes of a woman who stared up at her. “ _Mochof_ ,” she said, along with something else that Clarke didn’t understand, but it was clearly important to her.

“She says she lost her son to the _Maunon_ ,” the scout to Clarke’s left said. “She thanks you for avenging him, and for putting a stop to the terrible things that happened there.”

Clarke nodded at the woman, not sure what else to do. Another woman touched her boot and again Clarke nodded, aware that the word _Wanheda_ was circulating through the crowd. She looked at Lexa, fighting panic, but the expression in her eyes calmed her.

“Do not fear. They are grateful.”

“How do they know what happened at the mountain?” Clarke forced herself to relax as more and more people reached toward her to touch her as they passed while others regarded her intently from the periphery of the crowd.

“I told them, as did those who survived.”

“Told them what?”

“The truth. That _Klark kom Skaikru_ put an end to the _Maunon_ , and that her people helped her accomplish this.”

She couldn’t swallow around the lump in her throat and all she could do was nod as several more people touched her boots. Her horse snorted but seemed nonplussed at the proximity of so many people.

“ _Heda lid Wanheda in_ ,”2 someone shouted from up ahead near the city gates and the crowd parted, giving them more room. Cheers and more shouts greeted them as they entered the city and Clarke was bombarded by sensory overload. She had never been around this many people ever—not even when station meetings were held on the Ark.

Lexa said something to the scout on Clarke’s left and he moved his horse closer to Clarke while Lexa did the same on her other side, and Clarke exhaled in relief, because the repositioning protected her from the scrutiny of more people and also from further jostling. Her thigh throbbed and burned and every part of her seemed to hurt, as if she was one huge, deep bruise.

The aromas of cooking food, woodsmoke, and pungent herbs teased her nostrils and distracted her from her physical discomforts. And the sounds—so many sounds. The clang of a blacksmith’s tools, the shouts of people with wares to sell, children laughing and dodging through the crowds and between buildings.

“This is amazing,” she said, and was rewarded with one of Lexa’s rare, quick smiles.

“Perhaps when you are rested, you will allow me to show you the city.”

There was no expectation in the statement, because Lexa never put that on her, something Clarke realized she had missed. She had always simply accepted where Clarke was emotionally at any given moment, and gave her room to make her choices.

“I think I’d like that,” she said after a few more moments. Lexa responded with a nod, conveying yet again her acceptance of a decision.

When they arrived at the tower, Lexa and Wash dismounted first. Clarke gritted her teeth and forced herself to dismount without help, hissing softly with pain because every movement jostled something that hurt. Lexa waited, her expression unreadable, but she fell into step with her as they entered the tower, barely inches between them, the scouts on their periphery.

Clarke limped down the corridor, and she was sure the wound in her thigh was bleeding again. Everyone they passed acknowledged Lexa with smiles and bowed heads. She offered nods back and then, much to Clarke’s surprise, they stepped onto what looked like a lift with two scouts, one of whom carried Clarke’s pack, and Lexa issued an order. Slowly, the lift ascended. Clarke leaned against the back wall and counted floors, but pain made her lose concentration so she wasn’t entirely sure how far up they’d gone when they finally stopped.

She looked out on another corridor, but this one was well lit and doors lined either side. A warrior stood outside one of the doors to the right.

“ _Weron kamp raun Balta_?” 3 Lexa said to the sentry as she stepped off the lift.

“ _Em ste set raun_ , _Heda_.” 4 She gestured with her head to the right, down the corridor away from the lift.

Lexa nodded and turned toward Clarke. “Your quarters are this way.” She took Clarke’s pack from the scout and waited for her to step off the lift.

She was too tired to argue or even question Lexa’s motives at this point, so she took a step forward but stopped as a wave of dizziness engulfed her. Before she could fall, however, Lexa was next to her, holding her up, and somewhere in the exhausted morass that was Clarke’s mind was the thought that it would be so nice to just collapse into her arms.

“Just a little farther,” she said.

Clarke gritted her teeth and limped down the corridor, Lexa supporting her, to double doors past those where the sentry stood. Glass blocks made up the part of the corridor walls into which the doors—weathered wood with silver openers—were set, and light from the interior filtered into the corridor.

Lexa opened one of the doors and helped her inside, where a woman stood near a table, waiting. Her dark hair contained many braids and the left side of her face was tattooed in the manner of _Trikru_ , hers a series of elegant curving slashes that evoked a stylized claw.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said as she bowed her head. To Clarke, she said, “ _Monin_.” 5

“ _Mochof_.” Clarke groaned softly as Lexa lowered her to one of the chairs at the table. She looked around, surprised at the spaciousness of the room, and by the huge windows in the opposite wall, which let in afternoon light. The doors to a balcony stood open, and she could just see the mountains in the distance. A bed with a carved wooden headboard had been positioned to the left, near the doors to the balcony, and to the right was a narrow hallway that led to what she guessed was another room of some sort.

“Balta is a healer,” Lexa said. “You may trust her.” She put Clarke’s pack on the table.

“She knows who I am?”

“Yes. She’ll take care of your needs while you require her services.”

Clarke eyed the bed, wanting nothing more than to fall onto it and the pile of furs that served as blankets.

“There will be a guard outside this room for your safety. You're free to go where you will, when you will. I only ask that you allow the guard to accompany you.”

“Fine.”

Lexa’s expression softened. “There are those among us who may not appreciate all that you or _Skaikru_ have done.”

“My safety. Got it.” And she did, though it chafed a little.

“Forgive me,” Lexa said with an exaggerated sigh. “Octavia requires these measures.”

Clarke jerked her gaze from the bed back to her, surprised yet again, but this time by the subtle humor in her tone. “She’ll appreciate it, I’m sure.”

What might have been a smile lit Lexa’s eyes and then it was gone. “You need to rest. Please let Balta take care of you.”

Clarke nodded assent and Lexa moved to the door. “Wait,” Clarke said. “How do I find you?” The question surprised her as much as Lexa, from her expression.

“My quarters are next door. And the guards are instructed as to my whereabouts. Now please, Clarke. Let Balta assist you.” Another hint of a smile shone in her eyes and then she was gone, pulling the door softly shut behind her.

Clarke worked to be angry, worked to tap into the hurt and rage she’d felt at the mountain, because it would give her something to focus on besides the pain of her injuries, but fatigue muddled her thoughts.

Balta untied the temporary dressing on Clarke’s thigh and helped her out of her clothing and Clarke didn’t care that she was stripped naked before a stranger. Then Balta walked her down the small hallway to an alcove that held a bathtub and a toilet. The tub was half-full and Balta helped her in. She winced as the heat of the water hit her skin but then she sighed and relaxed and let Balta inspect her wounds and carefully bathe her and wash her hair. She worked efficiently and her touch was gentle and Clarke relaxed even more.

After Balta poured more water into the tub from one of two barrels in the corner and rinsed Clarke off, she helped her out of the tub and dried her off with soft cloths before she helped her into a loose pair of what Clarke considered shorts, but the material was thin and silky against her skin.

“I will dress your wounds now,” Balta said, “before you sleep.”

Clarke nodded and followed her back to the table and sat down in the closest chair. Balta rubbed something that smelled pungent into Clarke’s bruises and it made her wince, but it also soothed when she was finished. She inspected the slice on Clarke’s thigh, packed it with another salve, and wrapped it in clean cloth. The pain seemed to decrease and she sighed with relief. She drank from the waterskin Balta offered, then let her help her into a light-colored baggy shirt that was like a tunic. A few moments later, Balta had her settled in the bed and the last thing Clarke remembered before she sank into sleep was the deep green of Lexa’s eyes and the feel of the healer’s cool fingers on her forehead.

  
1 _Em laik Wanheda_ : She is _Wanheda_ (here, “it’s _Wanheda_ ”)   
2 _Heda lid Wanheda in_ : _Heda_ is bringing/brings _Wanheda_   
3 _Weron kamp raun Balta_ : Where is Balta?   
4 _Em ste set raun_ , _Heda_ : She is waiting/she waits, _Heda_   
5 _Monin_ : welcome (used in the sense of “welcome, friend”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Polis welcome mat rolls out for Clarke! She's way exhausted, way sore, but still, Polis seems amazing, and she and Lexa share a little bit more convo that's actually civil. If Clarke were up to full strength, not sure what that convo would look like, but for the moment, she's a bit overwhelmed about everything and dammit, glad that Heda's near (but she hates herself for being glad about that).
> 
> We also meet the primary healer who will be dealing with Clarke. Keep your eye on her. She's subtly perceptive. :)
> 
> So now that Clarke's at Polis, more of the Clexa feels and frustrations are no doubt going to show up. Hope you stay with me to see that happen.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who have been reading along. I SO appreciate it. And THANK YOU for the kudos and for your comments. I try to answer those as soon as I can, but sometimes, stabbing the Eye of Sauron takes a little more time than I thought (fucking ring--too much precious), but I'll get to the comments when I can. You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some of the songs I listened to as we rode into Polis during the writing of this chapter: Stonefox, "Dreamstate"; CLAVVS (feat. Yirayah), "All I Got"; Jazz Morley, "Take Me Down"


	18. First Day in Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up in Polis and realizes that DAMN, sleep is good when you get it while Lexa has a talk with Titus about Jos and the alliance with Sky Crew.

The sounds of movement in the corridor outside the room brought Clarke to full consciousness and she lay still for a moment, assessing. No ghosts had wrenched her from sleep for the first time in—she couldn’t remember when. She must have been too tired even for them to bother her. Sunlight pooled on the floor and bed, and warmed her even more beneath the furs that covered her, but she didn’t mind because it had been a while since warmth permeated every cell in her body.

How easy it would be to stay there all day, but her bladder had other plans and she groaned softly and got out of bed. Blood had crusted on the cloth wrapped around her thigh, but it didn’t hurt as badly as she expected, and she limped slowly to the bathroom, using the table and walls as support. She was pretty sure there was no part of her body that didn’t ache.

When she had finished, she made her way back to the bed and had just gotten there when Balta entered. She seemed surprised to see Clarke up.

“Hi,” Clarke said, her voice rusty with sleep. “Had to go.” She gestured toward the alcove as Balta moved to help her back to bed. “I figured it out,” she added. “Poured some water into the tank to flush.”

“ _Heda_ is right. You are resourceful.” Like she had before, she inspected Clarke’s wounds, rubbed more of the strong-smelling stuff into her skin, checked her lip, then took the cloth off her thigh.

“Mmm,” she said, sounding satisfied. Clarke looked, too. The wound was closing, though it probably could have used stitches. Regardless, it looked clean, though a little irritated. Balta smeared more salve into it and wrapped it with a clean cloth. “How was your rest?”

“I—” she thought about it, because she didn’t recall that anything ripped her from sleep. “It was good.” For the first time in a long time, she had slept through a night.

“ _Heda_ said the same thing.” She finished with the new dressing.

Clarke frowned. “What do you mean?”

“She checked on you several times.” She gestured at the carved wooden chair by the bed. It had armrests, unlike the chairs at the table. “And stayed for a bit each time.”

“I don’t—she was here?”

“Yes.”

Clarke stared at the chair, envisioning Lexa sitting in it, barely an arm’s length away. Had she slept so well because of her presence? Had she somehow known Lexa was there? The thought brought her both comfort and confusion.

“You must eat,” Balta said.

“Okay.” Though still tired and sore, she needed to fuel her healing.

“Can you sit?”

“At the table? Yes.” She moved slowly to the table and sat in one of the chairs as Balta stepped into the corridor. While she waited, she visually inspected the room, whose high ceilings and windows were so much different than living quarters on the Ark, and all the light made her feel comfortable rather than claustrophobic. Several thick candles on stands of varying heights stood around the room, and on the opposite wall from the bed several wooden shelves were attached. A couch of sorts stood near the shelves. Her gaze caught on her pack, which was on one of them, as was a stack of clothing and what looked like parchment.

She got up and limped over to the shelves and discovered that yes, what she was looking at was parchment—several large, thick pieces, creased many times over. Before she could pick it up, Balta returned bearing a tray. She set it on the table.

“ _Heda_ said you would be restless once you woke up. It is best, however, that you regain your strength.” She removed the various dishes from the tray, one of which was a big clay bowl of what had to be some kind of stew that smelled better than anything Clarke had eaten in a long time. She sat down and picked up the plain wooden spoon, and took a taste. The flavors of meat, vegetables, and some kind of thick broth filled her mouth and she savored its warmth before she swallowed.

“This is so good.”

Balta smiled and tore a piece of bread off the small loaf she’d brought and handed it to her. Clarke dipped it in the stew and for a while, she concentrated on just eating, on enjoying a meal without feeling rushed.

“Thank you,” she said when she finished. “And thank you for helping me.”

“It is I who should thank you, _Wanheda_. What you did for us we can never repay.”

A knot of anxiety joined the meal in her stomach. “I’m just Clarke.”

“No one is just a name.” She smiled and placed all the dishes back on the tray. “Will you rest, now?”

“Is that your request or Lex—the Commander’s?”

“Both.”

Was Lexa really concerned? Or did she just want Clarke healthy so she could exploit her for political gain? The meal suddenly sat sour in her stomach. She didn’t want to think about that right now, so she pushed herself up with the support of the table and moved back to the bed. Balta helped her in.

“Can you open the doors to the balcony?” Clarke asked.

Balta did as she requested and the feel of the fresh air on her face and the sounds of the city below sent her right back to sleep.

###

“Jos makes progress.”

“In what sense?” Lexa walked slowly next to Titus across the courtyard, since he preferred that pace when he was discussing something.

“She has the name of the warrior Zander brought with him and appears to already be in her confidence.”

She waited.

“ _Calla kom Azgeda_ ,”1 he said. “Jos thinks that her loyalties lie mostly with Nia, but only for survival. If she were, for example, to bring Nia information that is valuable, Nia might reward her.”

“And is that information prepared?”

“ _Sha_.” He pulled a small rolled parchment from his robe and handed it to her.

She stopped while she studied it then made an approving noise.

“It may seem correct, but all is wrong or misleading,” Titus said, and he sounded pleased.

“And what of Gonin?”

“We will put him in the cell on the other side of Jos tonight. The guards will provide rumors of Nia moving more _Azgeda_ troops into _Trikru_ territory, and appear unsettled. I have a diversion planned which will allow her to escape with the false information Jos provides.”

Lexa nodded and handed the parchment back. “I wish to know when this happens.”

“It will be so.”

They continued across the courtyard to the tower, Titus’s hands clasped behind his back. Lexa wore light armor and weapons but no facepaint this day, since she had been working with the trainees for the Conclave and she preferred a less formal appearance with them.

“What of _Wanheda_?” Titus said as they walked.

“I await word from the leader of _Skaikru_. Clarke will decide a course of action once that happens.”

He grunted softly.

“And as long as _Klark kom Skaikru_ is in Polis, she is my guest and under my protection.” Her tone left no room for argument.

He stopped and gazed down at her. “What will an alliance with _Skaikru_ entail?”

“I do not yet know.”

“It may be best that you grant _Skaikru_ entrance to the _kongeda_.”

She had been harboring the same thought, but it was not something she had voiced.

“Nia cannot war against a member of the _kongeda_ without just cause. She will be isolated in her campaigns against you.”

“Not entirely. There are always those among the _kongeda_ who are displeased with my decisions.”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement. “But not enough to challenge you. And none, that I know of, are _Natblida_.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “There is the matter of _Ontari kom Azgeda_.”

“There is. She remains close to Nia.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “She does not realize that Nia has poisoned her mind for years, which makes her an unsuitable candidate for any Conclave. The spirit of the Commander will not seek her. But Nia will seek to use her against you.”

“True.”

“ _Heda_ , though I am uncertain as to the motives of _Skaikru_ , it is, I think, a better option to offer them entrance to the _kongeda_ , as a clan.”

“A thought I have had, as well.”

“Should this come to pass, Nia may require proof that _Skaikru_ wishes to be part of the _kongeda_.”

“I am well aware of that.” More often than not, such involved a formal ceremony, witnessed by all clan representatives. It also required an oath of fealty, but Lexa was not at all sure that Clarke would perform such to her. Kane might, but it would carry far more weight if Clarke did.

“Will _Klark kom Skaikru_ kneel to you?”

“That I do not yet know, either.”

He made a soft noise in his throat. “She must.”

“Clarke will do what she can to aid her people.”

“Then she has no choice in this instance, _Heda_. If she does not kneel to you and take the oath, she will not be aiding her people. An alliance is not as strong as entering the _kongeda_.”

“If she does not kneel to me of her own choice, then it means nothing.” Lexa stared him down and he resumed walking.

“A word of advice, _Heda_ ,” he said just before they reached the tower.

“Speak.”

“Emotions can cloud judgment.” He stopped again.

She almost laughed. As if she hadn’t been dwelling on that for weeks. “And emotions can also drive instincts,” she shot back. “Sometimes we must trust what those tell us, as well.” And right now, all her instincts were saying that it was good and right that Clarke was in Polis, and that an alliance with _Skaikru_ was proposed. “Continue with Jos. That is your primary concern.”

He inclined his head and entered the tower and she glanced at the sky. Late afternoon. If her scouts didn’t find Krio, he would be at Arkadia’s gates at dawn. If that happened, she could only hope that Octavia and Indra had beaten them there. Regardless, Clarke was safe with her in Polis, which would cause Nia to shift her plans. And Lexa intended to use whatever time that bought her.

  
1 _Calla kom Azgeda_ : Calla of/from Azgeda (like you needed that defined! But there it is, in case somebody's super new or forgot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, peeps! Welcome to another Fanfic Friday with yers truly, and CLEXA!
> 
> So Clarke is finally in Polis, and that's going to bring up some shit, because Lexa. Duh.
> 
> As for Lexa, she's always got a jillion things going on. Commanders, like, are serious multitaskers. And she also has this whole CLARKE thing to think about/deal with. Hmm. Let's see how that continues to unfold...
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for the kudos and comments. I really appreciate them, and I try to answer them as soon as I can, but sometimes I'm busy spying on Ice Nation and delivering messages to Lexa, so I don't get to them right away. Don't worry! I will! And you can always hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while hanging out with Clarke on her first morning in Polis: Cappa, "I'm Good"; Handsome Ghost, "Eyes Wide"


	19. Not All Wounds are Physical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke have their first major interactions after the Ice Nation attack in the forest.

Lexa and a guard exited the lift late that afternoon on her floor. She was tired but not able to divest herself of her Commander trappings just yet, so she knocked on Clarke’s door with a bit of trepidation. Now that Clarke had a day to rest, she might be a bit hostile toward her.

Balta answered. “ _Heda_ ,” she said with obvious pleasure as she stepped aside. The guard remained in the hallway, with the other one stationed outside Clarke’s quarters.

She nodded in acknowledgement. “How are her wounds?”

Balta gestured at the balcony and Lexa fought a sigh. She had guessed that Clarke could be a difficult patient. “ _Deimeika ste os gon em_ ,” Balta said. “ _Nou get yu daun_ , _Heda_. _Em na ge fis op_.” 1

She nodded, encouraged at Balta’s frank assessment of Clarke’s physical state. It was the emotional that worried her most, and whether she was truly willing to deal with planning an alliance. “ _Mochof_.” She stepped onto the balcony and stared because Clarke sat on a chair, drawing on a piece of parchment that lay atop a flat piece of wood across her lap. The fingertips of her left hand were black from the piece of charcoal she held and a faint streak of black marred the sleeve of the loose shirt she wore, which fell over a pair of baggy dark shorts—Balta must have altered trousers to accommodate Clarke’s wound. Her hair was pulled back, and Lexa wanted nothing more than to untie it and watch it fall around her shoulders. She wrenched her gaze off Clarke’s lips and worked just as hard not to stare at her legs.

Clarke looked up at her and Lexa’s breath caught, as it always did when she shared a space with her. “Hi,” she said with what sounded like genuine warmth, and Lexa basked in it, let it brush against the walls she learned to carry years ago. Clarke cocked her head. “Good. You got your coat.”

“Yes. Balta brought it to me this morning.”

“Slept through that.” She shrugged. “You realize you let me wear it into Polis.” She didn’t phrase it as a question, but Lexa saw such in her expression.

“You entered as a representative of _Skaikru_ ,” she said. “But also as my guest and under my protection.”

“That’s the message wearing your coat sent?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a powerful coat.” Her eyes seemed to spark with amusement.

“In some instances, perhaps.”

“So I have the protection of _Hedakou_ ,”2 Clarke said. She flashed Lexa a wicked little grin. “Get it? _Heda_ coat.”

“Mmm. _Klark kom Skaikru_ expands her vocabulary.” She raised an eyebrow, surprised at both the statement and the grin. She fought her own smile.

“Wait. Did I just see a smile? Did the Commander actually smile?”

“Surely your eyes deceive you,” she said, enjoying this banter, and how relaxed Clarke seemed, though it was only her first full day in Polis. “I am merely impressed by your growing skill with our words.”

Clarke snorted and held the parchment out to her. “This is what the two warriors looked like that were with Krio when they came to Arkadia.”

She took it and examined the likenesses.

“They had masks over the lower parts of their faces, but chances are they’re not going to wear different ones. Unless they’re broken or fall off in battle.”

Lexa glanced at her then back at the drawing. Clarke had captured the expressions in the warriors’ eyes as well as details of their masks and facial scars. They were beautiful portraits, in spite of the subject. “This is…I didn’t know you had this talent,” she said after a while, and it was as if Clarke were sharing a secret with her.

Clarke stood and leaned on the balcony’s railing and looked out toward the mountains. “It helped pass the time while I was in detention on the Ark. And it...helps me remember who I am.”

Lexa waited, knowing this was important.

“If you were under eighteen on the Ark, you weren’t floated for an infraction,” she explained. “You were put in detention. I was in detention after my dad was floated, and then I got sent to the ground.”

“Floated?”

She didn’t say anything for a few moments. When she did, her voice was strained. “Blown out the airlock into space.”

“Death? What crime brings this fate?” She couldn’t imagine what Clarke’s father had done, to deserve such.

“Just about anything. Stealing rations or medical supplies. Using equipment in unauthorized ways. Anything that used up resources that weren’t allocated to you.”

“Why were you put in detention?”

“Because I knew what my dad did, and I was considered a danger to public safety because Jaha—the Chancellor at the time—was afraid I’d tell people what I knew.” She shrugged. “They were right.”

“What did your father know?”

Clarke was quiet for a few moments, staring out across the city. “He was the senior environmental engineer and head of resources, and he discovered that the Ark’s oxygen was running out, but much sooner than projected. He wanted to announce it, so that we could all work together on a solution. But Jaha thought that would cause people to panic. My dad didn’t agree. He was going to go public.”

There was more to this. Lexa sensed it, but she didn’t push. Instead, she joined Clarke at the railing and removed the leather cord from around her neck that held Clarke’s watch. She would miss its weight, however slight, against her chest. “I wanted to make sure you were awake to receive this.”

The expression on Clarke’s face slipped easily past Lexa’s defenses, and trapped her in the blue depths of her gaze. Like the sea, she thought, where she was unmoored and completely at Clarke’s mercy.

“Thank you,” Clarke said softly as she took it. Her fingers brushed Lexa’s and Lexa craved the touch as soon as it was gone. Clarke ran her thumb along the watch’s band, as Lexa had done so many times the past few days, and then she put it around her own neck.

“You entrusted it to me,” she said, as if that would explain why she carried it around her neck waking and sleeping.

“I knew you’d take care of it.”

Lexa’s throat tightened and she waited for her to say more.

“I have—there are things I need to say to you,” she said after a while.

“I know.”

“But not now. When I’m feeling a little better.”

Lexa nodded. She knew Clarke would say what she thought when she was moved to do so. “Balta tells me your wounds are already doing better,” she said, to relieve Clarke from feeling indebted to her about the watch and to move gently past her statement.

“I suppose. The ones on the outside, anyway. The other ones…those are going to take a while.”

Lexa looked out over the city and didn’t say anything, instead allowing Clarke space to continue if she wanted.

“What do you do with wounds like that?”

“I carry them until I no longer wish to.” She didn’t look at her, because she knew Clarke would see things in her eyes that she was not ready to share.

“And then what? You just forget?”

“I never forget. I accept their scars. With other wounds, I learn how better to distribute their weight.”

Clarke was silent for a long while.

Lexa glanced at her. “Sometimes healing takes a while.”

“How long?” Her voice was strained and Lexa ached to pull her close, ached to take her burdens. She kept her arms at her sides.

“As long as it takes. There is no rush.”

“I guess that’s hard for me,” she admitted.

“You are a healer of others. You expect, thus, that you will be able to heal yourself or that you will be able to bear more because you are familiar with the pain and suffering of others. That’s not always the way of things.” She met Clarke’s gaze, then. “This is why you must rest. Body and spirit are intertwined. A strong body helps a healing spirit.”

She sighed, but not in exasperation. “Fine. I’ll rest even more. And yes, before you ask, I have eaten. A couple of times already. I’ve had Balta carve a nick in the table for each time, so you can keep track.”

Tension dissipated with her jibe and Lexa smiled.

Clarke exhaled, a sound of amazement. “There. It happened again. Can you hold that expression for a while? I want to draw it as proof that the Commander does, in fact, smile.”

She immediately made herself look stern. “Does _Klark kom Skaikru_ tease _Heda_?”

“No,” she said with an answering smile. “She teases Lexa.”

In the past, Lexa would have fought an entire contingent of _Azgeda_ soldiers for one of Clarke’s smiles, and here, with everything that hung between them, she got one without a battle. She tried not to imbue the moment with more meaning than it might hold, but she knew she would be unsuccessful.

“Ah. Both _Heda_ and Lexa appreciate this.”

Clarke laughed, and Lexa looked at her, because it was a rare sound from her, and it slipped cleanly between her ribs like the sharpest of swords, right into her heart. She wanted to capture it and wear it around her neck like she had Clarke’s watch, wanted to feel it warm against her chest, protected.

“Have you indeed been resting?” Lexa asked a few moments later.

“I’ve practically been asleep since I got here.”

“Not so.” Lexa held up the parchment.

She shrugged. “I took a break from resting.”

“Clarke—”

“Fine. But first, did any messages arrive from Arkadia?”

“Not yet. I’ll inform you when one comes.”

She nodded. “ _Azgeda_ returns to Arkadia tomorrow.”

“Yes. But it does no good to worry about it.” She followed Clarke back inside but didn’t offer assistance, mindful of Clarke’s body language, which seemed brittle and uncertain of contact. Balta was in the process of lighting candles, in preparation for nightfall. Clarke put the wood she had been using as a surface for her drawing on a nearby shelf. On top of it she set the piece of charcoal.

“Your meal is on its way,” Balta said to Clarke, who looked expectantly at Lexa.

“Can you stay?” Clarke asked, surprising her again.

She hesitated. She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. “No, unfortunately. I have a few matters to attend to.” She held up the parchment. “May I keep this?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d want to show it around, in case Krio shows up with them somewhere besides Arkadia.”

Lexa rolled the parchment and slid it into her belt.

“Will I see you later?” Her gaze drilled into hers and she was sure Clarke could see everything within, everything she’d spent years locking away.

She nodded, more to help stop her slow dive into the depths of Clarke’s eyes than anything else. “Of course.”

Clarke shrugged, sheepish. “Today?”

“If you are awake, yes. Otherwise, tomorrow. Rest well.” She nodded at Balta and let herself out, glad for the barrier of the door between them, because Clarke was a weakness. No matter how hard Lexa fought against them, her desires would always win this battle, where Clarke was concerned. She exhaled and clenched her fists to stop her fingers from trembling. She took the stairs down, a guard at her heels, and went in search of Wash.

  
1 _ _Deimeika ste os gon em... _Nou get yu daun_ , _Heda_... _Em na ge fis op___ : Sunlight is good for her...Don't worry, Heda. She is healing. _ _  
2 _Hedakou_ *: __Literally, Commander/leader coat. Clarke made a joke and combined Heda with “oukou/okou,” the term for coat or jacket _ _.__

###

Clarke woke up both sweating and shivering, wrenched from sleep by the cold hands of ghosts and nightmares. She sat up and inhaled a sob as she swung her legs over the side of her bed. The cool stone of the floor beneath her feet helped calm her.

A soft sound behind her made her turn. The door opened and Lexa leaned in, visible in the soft glow of the three candles still burning. She didn’t say anything as she entered and joined Clarke on the side of the bed, sitting just within reach.

“Bad dreams,” Clarke said, desperate for her presence but pissed at herself for wanting it so much.

“I know.”

She did. Clarke heard and felt it in those two words and she resented the way parts of her responded, eager for Lexa’s comfort. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that.”

“They don’t let me sleep,” Clarke said after a while.

Lexa didn’t respond. She only looked at her, expectant.

“The people I killed at Mt. Weather.” A tear coursed down her cheek and she wiped at it, embarrassed to show it in front of Lexa, whose actions may have helped create the circumstances that forced her to pull the lever. “I see them every night.” She gripped one of the furs beneath her until her fingers ached. “They followed me from the mountain.”

“Because you let them,” Lexa said, her voice soft.

“Unlike you,” she snapped, “I can’t just turn them off. They were people who did nothing to me. Some of them even helped us.”

Lexa remained quiet.

“I killed them all. Three hundred for forty-seven.”

“We do what we must.”

“Is that what you did?” She threw the words at Lexa like a stone, hoping they hit.

“Yes.”

Clarke closed her eyes, but it didn’t stop another round of tears. In one word, Lexa’s honesty defused her building anger. If their positions were reversed, and the mountain offered her a deal to save her people, would she have taken it, at the expense of a tense alliance? She bit her lip. Lexa had sent three hundred warriors to kill everybody at the drop ship. They had all died, too. And yet, in the wake of that, Lexa had agreed to the alliance with Sky Crew before they went to the mountain, even after Clarke had helped kill all the warriors Lexa had sent.

The alliance had cost Finn’s life, but only because he had earned his punishment. Lexa had not arbitrarily demanded his death, and she had allowed Clarke access to him to save him the worst of the tortures. None of Lexa’s decisions were made arbitrarily, she realized. They all affected her people in some way, and she had to somehow balance the needs and expectations of at least eleven clans with every choice she made.

Clarke’s chest constricted. The mountain was a no-win for everybody, and even now, it left a legacy of suffering, and she was tired of being angry. “I don’t know if I’ve been hating you or myself since the mountain.”

Lexa’s silence encouraged Clarke to continue.

“Maybe both.” She took a shaky breath. “I killed three hundred defenseless people. And the worst part is, I can’t justify not doing it.” She swallowed another sob and bit her lip harder to keep from saying anything more, but the words kept coming. “There were days I wanted to kill you, and I thought that was the only thing that kept me going.”

Still Lexa said nothing but Clarke felt no judgment from her, which made her feel worse, in a way, because she had wanted Lexa to be now like she was at the mountain—easy to rage against, easy to hate.

“But when you showed up in the forest. . .I couldn’t have done it after all.” The admission tasted bitter in her mouth. “I don’t know if that makes me a better or worse person, that I couldn’t add you to the count.” Not even in her worst moments after the mountain could she have killed her.

Lexa’s gaze didn’t waver from hers. “I never meant to leave you with these burdens.”

Clarke’s throat tightened. “You left me with horrible choices.”

“Do you think my staying at the mountain would have changed the outcome?” Her tone was gentle, but the question carried far more impact than had Lexa wielded it like a weapon. And it fell, hard, against Clarke’s defenses. She stared at the closest candle left burning, sorting through Lexa’s words and the memories that sometimes threatened to strangle her.

“No,” she finally said, and the admission came with a wave of sadness that overwhelmed her anger. How could it have turned out differently? The Mountain Men would have kept drilling bone marrow out of Sky Crew. Cage was willing to call her bluff. And even if Lexa’s forces were with her, Cage would still be sealed in medical, with her people, while his people continued to extract their marrow until they all died.

“Does it change anything to think that?”

“I don’t know.” She swallowed hard, in an attempt to get rid of the lump in her throat. “I hated that you left. I still hate it.” And she hated that in Lexa’s eyes she saw how difficult it had been for her, as well.

“My responsibilities are always to my people,” Lexa said. “I would not be effective as Commander if I did not consider the effects of every action on my people, or if I did not do everything in my power to ensure their safety. And sometimes, that comes at an expense that I never wanted and never intended.”

“Your people wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for _my_ people.” She snapped the words, and they were sharp, like knives, as if she sought justification for her anger. “We risked our lives for your people. Not just ours.”

“And I am grateful,” she said, voice soft, even after the sting of Clarke’s statement. “We are all grateful.”

Clarke tore her gaze from Lexa’s and stared into the dark beyond the glass of the balcony doors. The Mountain Men had terrorized Grounder clans for decades. Hundreds if not thousands had been lost to the mountain. She remembered the moment she realized the choice Lexa had made, because it was almost a physical pain through her heart, all-too-familiar, since she’d been carrying it for weeks.

But the Lexa who sat with her now—the Lexa who had ensured her safety to Polis and the one who had kissed her so many weeks ago—that Lexa didn’t inflict the kind of pain the one at the mountain had. She thought then of Tondc, and the sacrifice Lexa had been willing to make to ensure Bellamy’s safety in the mountain, and also the safety of the rest of Clarke’s friends. She knew, too, that Lexa had done it to ensure her safety, as well.

Tears coursed silently down her cheeks and she stood with a jerk that sent a jolt of pain through her thigh, but she didn’t care. “I’m so tired,” she said as she leaned her forehead against the balcony doors. “So tired of death and pain and the decisions that bring them. I’m not even sure who I am anymore.”

“You don’t need to know that right now. It will come, as you heal.”

She groaned softly against the glass.

“You need to rest so that you _can_ heal.”

“Why am I so tired?” She turned toward Lexa.

“Because you carry pain. Here—” she pointed at her head, “and here.” She moved her fingers to her heart and then she stood and pulled the furs back and motioned for Clarke to get into bed.

She sighed. “Pain is heavy.”

“It is,” Lexa responded in a tone laden with both empathy and admission and Clarke regarded her for a moment, a thousand different thoughts swirling in her mind, the air between them thick with things unexpressed. She climbed into bed, raw and spent, and Lexa arranged the furs over her.

“Rest,” she said again. “If word comes from Arkadia, I’ll alert you.”

Clarke watched her as she walked toward the door. “Don’t go.”

Lexa met her gaze and Clarke wondered if she would lose herself in her eyes, and what that would feel like. “Can you stay?” she asked instead. “Please?” She hoped she didn’t sound like she was begging.

“Yes,” Lexa said without hesitation and she settled herself into the chair by the bed, within reach, though Clarke wanted her closer, wanted her as close as she had been on the ride to Polis but she wasn’t sure how to ask or even if she should make such a request of the Commander of the Grounder clans.

“Thank you,” she managed.

“Shh, Clarke. Sleep,” Lexa said softly, and Clarke did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, myyyyyyyyyy...CLEXA IN THE HOUSE!
> 
> Clarke hasn't been in Polis that long. And where Lexa is so very patient, Clarke sometimes isn't. So the feelz between them will continue to clash and unspool in future chapters, as they try to figure out WTF all this means. Hope you stick with me to see that. :D
> 
> THANK YOU for all the kudos and for the comments! LOVE hearing from everybody. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but when I'm running undercover ops for Lexa, I might not be able to right away. Don't worry. I'll get to 'em! And you can always find me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some songs that helped me process this shit with Lexa and Clarke while writing this chapter: Mokita, "Dreamer"; Luna Shadows, "Cherry"; Audrey Air, "Night Terror"


	20. Another Day in Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is feeling even better (rest is kind of awesome after all) and Lexa shows up with a message.

The warmth of the sun on her face woke her and Clarke glanced at the chair near her bed. It was empty and that disappointed her. She got up and went to the toilet and washed her face and worked her fingers through her hair. No other nightmares had come while Lexa was in the room, and she resigned herself to the fact that having the Commander around was soothing, in spite of the mountain. As she dried her face, she tried to sort through some of the other things Lexa stirred.

How could she feel such things? After all the days she’d spent living on anger and sadness, how could she possibly want to burrow into Lexa’s arms and press her lips against the pulse in her neck? Who was she, that she wanted to do that after the mountain? Even on the ride to Polis, and even in her state then, she had been aware of Lexa’s arm around her waist, and her chest against her back, warm and solid. She had offered that and safety. She had accepted Clarke’s anger, and asked permission to help because she knew Clarke would resent compromising her anger if she were not given the choice to refuse.

All the anger Clarke directed at her, Lexa accepted, without judgment or excuse, as if she preferred that Clarke hate her instead of herself, as if she wanted to save Clarke that kind of self-loathing. Deep down, Clarke knew Lexa would do that, without question.

Like in the tent, after their first kisses, when Lexa accepted Clarke’s need for time. And, Clarke thought at the time, healing. How long would she be doing that? Every day on the ground brought a new struggle that required more healing. There wasn’t enough time, she realized, to heal from the burdens she carried.

She would have to learn to let go of some of them. Or redistribute their weight. She smiled at Lexa’s analogy as she tied her hair back and left the bathing area, thinking she would spend some more time on the balcony before Balta brought her food and checked her injuries. Something on the table caught her attention. Several small, corked clay pots stood in a neat row next to another stack of parchment. She moved closer, and saw two paintbrushes with fine, narrow tips next to the pots.

The door opened and Balta entered with a tray. “ _Heda_ had the paints brought up,” she said as she set the tray down.

“When?”

“Not long ago.” She took the dishes off the tray and Clarke carefully moved the paints and parchment aside before she sat down.

“I didn’t hear anyone.”

“No,” Balta said with a smile. “You slept well.”

“I guess so.” She started to eat, slices of cold but nicely seasoned meat, cheese, and some kind of starchy vegetable. She couldn’t remember when she’d eaten this well for this long. She glanced at Balta. Most Grounders didn’t offer much small talk, but Clarke wanted to get to know her a little better.

“When did you start training as a healer?” she said between bites.

Balta was replacing candles that had burned down to their stands. She left the intricate patterns of wax that had dripped from some in unbroken streams to pool on the floor, like waterfalls. Clarke liked how it looked.

“I was very young,” Balta said. “My mother saw that I was drawn to it. She trained me at first, then sent me to work with healers elsewhere, to expand my knowledge and experience.”

“You speak English really well.”

“My mother thought that would be useful, too.” She opened the doors to the balcony. “ _Heda_ says that you, too, have healing knowledge and that your mother is a healer. I would like to gain knowledge some day of _Skaikru_ healing.”

“Maybe we can arrange it.” Provided her mom didn’t do something monumentally stupid and ally with Ice Nation. She finished eating while Balta did some organizing. “ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said.

“Do not thank me yet,” she said with a smile. “I still need to check your injuries.”

Clarke sighed. “Oh, yeah. That.” She pushed back from the table and pulled her shirt off then stood still, staring toward the balcony, her naked back toward the door. Balta inspected her lip, ribs, front and back, and arm.

“ _Os_. _Yu na ge fis op_.” 1 She looked at her. “Did you understand that?”

“ _Sha_. _Ai ge fis op_.” She smiled. “Um. . . _Heda na frag ai op_ , _nou fis ai op_.” 2 She stumbled a bit in the pronunciation.

Balta laughed.

“Did I not say it right?”

“The meaning is clear, though perhaps a bit strong.”

“Well, it’s true. Lexa _will_ probably kill me if I don’t heal.”

Balta laughed again. “Perhaps if you don’t rest, she will do so. But not if you don’t heal.”

A knock sounded on the door.

“Come in,” Clarke said and it swung open.

“Clarke, I have—” Lexa stopped mid-sentence and Clarke looked over her shoulder in time to see the hint of a blush on her cheeks, visible just below her facepaint.

“My apologies,” Lexa said as she fixed her gaze on the floor. “I did not realize—please continue, Balta. I will be in my quarters.”

“No, stay,” Clarke said, because seeing her was like the warmth of a fire after a long, cold day, though she wasn’t quite comfortable with the realization. “I’m just getting my daily wound inspection.”

Lexa cleared her throat, and continued to stare at the floor. “Very well. I came to tell you that I have not received a message from _Abi kom Skaikru_ yet, but Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia arrived at Arkadia safely yesterday.”

Clarke put her shirt back on. “You can look now,” she said, amused and maybe a little charmed at Lexa’s sudden prudishness. “That’s good news.” She sat at the table so Balta could check her thigh.

“Indra will ensure that Krio is followed from Arkadia,” Lexa said. “From that, we may be able to determine what Nia plans next. I await further word from Indra.”

“Okay.”

“I shall return,” Balta said. “I wish to use a different salve. _Heda_ , perhaps you might keep Clarke company. _Em na trana ron we_.” 3 She grinned.

“Hey, now. I think I understood that,” Clarke said, smiling back.

“Good. We may make a speaker of you yet,” Balta said. “ _Heda_?”

“I am pleased to remain here until you return,” she said. “But I doubt I can convince Clarke not to do something if she wishes to do it.”

Balta shrugged, another smile on her lips, and left.

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment,” Clarke said, and was rewarded by a teasing glint in Lexa’s eyes, incongruous with her facepaint, weapons, and light armor.

“It is.” She approached but did not sit down. “Though you may not feel such now, you’re strong, and not easily swayed.” Her gaze tracked to Clarke’s thigh, which Balta had left unwrapped. “It heals well.”

“Seems that way.” She wrenched her own gaze to the table, away from the quiet intensity of Lexa’s eyes, their color emphasized even more by the painted black mask. “Thank you for the paints and paper.” She thought about the night before. Lexa had been dressed in a baggy shirt and loose, light trousers, her hair undone, the regal lines of her face not obscured by paint. At the time, Clarke had been too focused on her emotions to really process Lexa out of her Commander guise. She wanted to see her again, without the armor of her role.

Lexa nodded. “Perhaps these things will help you remember who you are.”

The words burrowed into her heart, warm and gentle, and silence hung between them for a while, comfortable but charged, like the day Lexa kissed her.

Clarke swallowed. “Perhaps.” The silence lengthened. “Thank you for staying with me last night,” she said after a while.

“Of course.”

Balta entered, and Clarke was relieved because she didn’t know what to do with what roiled beneath her surface, but she was disappointed, too, because in spite of everything, she craved the stirring of the connection she sensed between her and Lexa, as much as she still fought it.

“ _Mochof, Heda_ ,” Balta said as she removed the cork from the small clay jar she carried and put it on the table.

“I convinced her to stay,” Lexa said.

Clarke grinned. “It took work,” she said to Balta.

“Mmm. I can tell.” She rubbed the new salve into the cut on her thigh, and her touch was gentle. “Does it itch?”

“Yeah, actually. A little.”

“Good. I think tomorrow you should leave your quarters. It is best for you to start moving around more.” She got up and went into the bathroom.

“I’d like to see Polis,” Clarke said to Lexa. “But only if you’ll be my guide.”

“Certainly. I will enjoy showing it to you. And tomorrow evening, we might view some of the contests that the junior guards engage in.”

“Which is what?”

“Every month, the younger warriors hold a competition in various skills. Most of the time it involves weapons play. Sometimes they are sent out into the city on tracking missions or to the tower to practice infiltration.”

“I’d like to see some of that, too.”

“Easy enough to arrange. But for now—”

“I know, I know. Rest.” Clarke rolled her eyes with an exaggerated sigh. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa chuckled and Clarke stared at her, liking the sound and liking even more how she showed this side of herself to her.

Balta reappeared with a clean cloth that she used to dress Clarke’s thigh.

“If any news arrives, I’ll tell you,” Lexa said.

“Okay. So I’ll see you later, maybe?” She tried to mask how eager she was to have more time alone with Lexa, but the expression in Lexa’s eyes told her she wasn’t successful, a momentary spark before the armor of the Commander settled over her demeanor.

“You will.” She nodded to Balta and Clarke watched Lexa leave, her coat brushing her boots, one of her swords clinking against her shoulder guard, her leather creaking. There was so much more beneath that. And Clarke wanted to find out what, even if it meant facing the ghosts that still plagued her.

Balta cleared the dishes from her recent meal and left. Clarke spread one of the blank parchments out on the table, using paint pots to hold the corners. The sounds of Polis floated in from the balcony, and the sun painted its own designs on the floor as Clarke dipped her brush into one of the pots, finding a bit of respite from the memories she wished she couldn’t carry any longer.

  
1 _Os_. _Yu na ge fis op._ : Good. You are healing.   
2 _Sha_. _Ai ge fis op_.... _Heda na frag ai op_ , _nou fis ai op._ : Yes. I am healing...Heda will kill me, if I don’t heal. (Clarke is mixing the literalism of Trigedasleng with a metaphorical construction common in English: Heda’s going to kill me if I don’t do this! Balta laughs, because she recognizes that Clarke’s construction is not meant to be taken seriously, but she does tell her that though the meaning is clear, it’s a bit strong.)   
3 _Em na trana ron we_ : She might try to run away. (Balta says this to tease Clarke.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PEEPS! A three-fer today! MUAH!
> 
> Here, Clarke is feeling even better after yet another bunch of rest. Made possible, of course, by our fave Commander. Because OF COURSE Clarke sleeps better when Lexa's near. WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T? With that kind of badassery protecting you from creepy dreams, you'd be sleeping fine, too.
> 
> Anyway, I'm hoping you guys like Balta. She's an interesting character, and she's coaching Clarke a little in Trigedasleng. She also notices a hell of a lot more than you might think, and you'll see that in future exchanges between her and Clarke and her and Lexa.
> 
> So THANK YOU, all, for reading. And thank you for the comments and kudos. I so appreciate it. You have no idea. After all, this is my first public fanfic, and I worry that I'm not doing it right. I try to respond to comments right away, but I might be trying to work through shit with Balta in a therapy session, so I might not. But I will as soon as I can! And you can always find me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A lighter mood in this chapter, and these are a couple of songs I listened to while working on it: Gamper and Dadoni (feat. Mark Wilkinson), "Heavy Heart"; Clara Mae, "Strip"


	21. Message from Arkadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Titus and Lexa discuss the next step in the Jos Conspiracy and then riders arrive from Arkadia with news.

“ _Heda_ , a word?” Titus said from the doorway of the meeting room.

She looked up from the table, over which were spread a variety of maps. She nodded at Wash and he retreated to the corridor with the other two scouts.

“Speak,” she said after they left.

“Tomorrow night _Calla kom Azgeda_ will escape from her cell.”

“Jos has the parchment, then, that you created?”

“She received it with her meal this morning.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “What is the story she will tell Calla and Gonin about it?”

Titus clasped his hands behind his robed back and regarded her with his customary neutral expression. “She has been claiming that she had it since she was placed next to Calla. She has refused to show either her or Gonin because, she says, she does not want to risk the guards finding it because the information it contains will be very valuable to Nia.”

She nodded. “What is the diversion?”

Titus smiled, clearly pleased with his idea. “The war games.”

She frowned.

“The tournament for the junior guards. One of the exercises this month involves tower defense. The guards have planted the idea with Calla that _Azgeda_ draws close and there are rumors of an attack, so the training exercise is in preparation for it.”

“Well done.”

“There will be a group of thirty warriors who will enter the tower while thirty more defend it. Jos has the name of a particular guardsman who will help Calla escape the city. His story is that he was a friend of Landis, and has no love for _Heda_. Jos will ensure that Calla carries the parchment.”

“Is she assured passage through the city?”

“The competition this year includes exercises in the city, with the help of a few city officials. We have done this in the past, and on short notice. The guardsman will take Calla out of Polis during these maneuvers. The guardsman will also continue to plant the idea that an _Azgeda_ attack may be imminent, and that’s why the training exercises are throughout the city.”

She approved of this approach, because it would confuse _Azgeda_. “Is Calla loyal to Nia?”

“Perhaps. Jos has expressed her loyalty, and as the acting ambassador, she has made it seem imperative that Calla take this message to Nia.”

And at that point, Nia would be faced with a decision regarding Polis. Tradition demanded that she first officially inquire regarding Jos’s status in the city to curry the favor of the clans. Nia was depending on an alliance with _Skaikru_ , which would grant her credence with at least a few of the clans. But the possibility of a schism in the clans existed, because Lexa would retain the loyalty of most—unless Nia could successfully convince them that the _Azgeda_ ambassador had been wrongfully imprisoned.

That would be a hard tale to swallow, since once Calla was out of the city, Jos would no longer be imprisoned.

“What do we know of Gonin?” she asked.

“A Nia loyalist. He has told Jos that he has spent years in her personal guard. He speaks ill of you every day, though he has never met you.”

“Not knowingly.” She ran her fingers along the hilt of one of her daggers. “Once Calla is out of the city, perhaps we might consider a formal introduction.”

Titus inclined his head and smiled again. He enjoyed subterfuge, and Lexa employed his skills in situations like this because he was effective. A commotion in the corridor caused her to tighten her grip on her dagger.

Wash appeared in the doorway. “ _Heda_ , there are messengers from Arkadia. They arrived on horseback.”

“Who?”

“ _Mora kom Trikru_ 1 and _Okteivia kom Skaikru_.”

“Ensure they receive water and food if they require it and see to their horses. I will meet them here, in this room. You included.”

“ _Sha_.” He left and Lexa looked at Titus.

“I request your presence as well,” she said and he nodded. She glanced out the windows to gauge the light. Mid-afternoon. Octavia and Mora probably left Arkadia that morning. Any later, and they would have had to ride fast. She swept past Titus to the stairs, two guards automatically following her. Three stories up they went and Lexa strode directly to Clarke’s door, where she knocked.

“Clarke,” she said, and the door swung open.

“Hi,” Clarke said as she regarded her quizzically. She hadn’t been sleeping, from her appearance.

“There is a message from Arkadia.”

Clarke immediately went to the shelves on the other side of the room where she stepped out of the shorts she wore and pulled on a pair of trousers.

Though Lexa stood in the doorway, she could still see what Clarke was doing, so she kept her gaze lowered, out of respect for her privacy. She looked up when she heard the scrape of one of the chairs on the floor. Clarke used it to brace one foot then the other as she buckled her boots. Her hair fell freely around her shoulders and face, and she’d put on a clean light-colored shirt and dark trousers. The shirt hugged her in ways that made Lexa’s throat go dry. Clarke slid her knife into her boot and Lexa fought a smile. The ground had indeed changed her.

“Oh—” Clarke looked at her. “Is this okay?” She motioned at the knife.

“Yes.” In fact, Lexa preferred that Clarke was armed, not only for her own protection, but also because it sent a message that the Commander trusted her enough to allow it.

“Okay, ready. Who’s the messenger?” She joined Lexa and the guards in the corridor.

“There are two. Octavia and one of Indra’s scouts, _Mora kom Trikru_.” Lexa motioned them to the lift, since she was concerned about Clarke’s leg wound, but when they stopped and got off, Clarke snorted teasingly.

“I could’ve walked down the stairs if I had known it was only this far.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Clarke fell into step just slightly behind her, a subtle show of respect, something Lexa appreciated as they entered the room.

“Clarke,” Octavia said, relief in her tone. She stood near the table with Mora, a woman a few inches taller, tattoos on both sides of her face, her dark, tightly curled hair cut close to her scalp, like Indra’s.

Clarke smiled and gave Octavia a brief hug. “Hey. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” Octavia nodded at Lexa. “ _Heda_ ,” she said.

“ _Heda_ ,” Mora said, also with a nod.

Titus stood on the other side of the table next to Wash. Clarke gave him a look, but didn’t say anything. Lexa knew she’d ask about him later.

“ _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ , I bid you welcome to Polis,” Lexa said. “You are my guest and under my protection so long as you are here. What message do you bring?”

“Krio and his warriors showed up this morning like Krio said they would. They wanted an answer, but Abby—” she glanced at Titus—“the Chancellor said she couldn’t give them one because the council hadn’t come to an agreement about an alliance.”

Clarke exhaled softly. “So what now?”

“Krio said he would talk to Nia. He sounded pissed.”

Lexa frowned. An impasse would only buy so much time.

“But—” Octavia looked at Lexa. “She and Kane want to talk about terms for an alliance with _Trikru_.”

Lexa nodded once. “It shall be done. We will arrange for such a meeting as soon as possible.” And before Nia discovered it.

“Abby already said she would send Kane to Polis and that Clarke could also act as official representative of _Skaikru_.”

“What?” Clarke stared at her.

Lexa stepped in. “When does she wish to send Kane?”

“As soon as I get back and tell her.” Octavia glanced first at Lexa then at Clarke.

“You will not go unaccompanied,” Lexa said. “When did you wish to return to Arkadia?”

“Tomorrow morning, if possible. Seems the sooner we do this, the better.”

Lexa thought for a moment. If Octavia left the next morning, Kane could prepare to leave during the afternoon or he could wait until the day after that. “It is not safe to travel near Arkadia.” She voiced her thoughts aloud. “Even worse at night.” She glanced at Clarke.

“Kane could leave the morning after we get there,” Octavia said. “ _Skaikru_ can drive him past the perimeter, if you approve, and get him within a few miles.”

“This I will do. We will arrange a rendezvous, with horses.”

“Wait,” Clarke said. “What about Sanders?”

Octavia’s expression darkened. “Opposed. He’s the only one, though.”

“He can still do damage.”

“Yeah. I’m guessing they’re working on getting him under control at Arkadia. He’s got a few people who believe the same way, and he’s a big enough ass that he’ll create problems. That’s why Kane wants Abby to stay. She’s good at dealing with Sanders.”

“We will discuss this later,” Lexa said. “ _Mora kom Trikru_ , what message do you bring?”

“Indra has arranged the placement of warriors near Arkadia, as you requested. _Skaikru_ agreed. She coordinates with Bellamy, Kane, and Lincoln. She is monitoring _Azgeda_ , and says that there appear to be more than expected in the forests between Arkadia and Polis. Mostly small scouting parties, but there is a place east of Arkadia that may be a staging area.”

Lexa frowned. “Her plans?”

“She has scouts watching that and building traps, with _Skaikru_ ’s permission. Should they catch anything, _Trikru_ will alert _Skaikru_ , who will check rather than _Trikru_.”

Lexa nodded, satisfied. _Azgeda_ would think _Skaikru_ was protecting its territory rather than think _Trikru_ had anything to do with that. “Very well. Titus, Wash, and Mora, stay here. Octavia, as my guest, you will receive quarters in the tower.”

Wash went to the door and motioned one of the guards inside.

“ _Heda_ ,” the guard said, awaiting her instructions.

“Please accompany Clarke to her quarters. _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ is to receive the room across from hers.”

He bowed his head and Clarke looked at Lexa, a question in her eyes.

“If you are both amenable, I will join you later in Clarke’s quarters for evening meal.”

Clarke’s expression, though fleeting, held an anticipatory glint that Lexa hadn’t expected. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said as she and Octavia followed the guard out of the room.

It was all Lexa could do not to watch her leave. “Sit,” she directed those gathered. “We have much more to discuss.”

  
1 _Mora kom Trikru_ : Mora of/from Trikru (Woods Clan)

###

Clarke looked around Octavia’s room, a replica of hers, with similar furnishings but fewer candles. Octavia had opened the doors to the balcony, which helped with the mustiness of a place not used often.

“Not bad,” Octavia said. She had washed up and put on a clean shirt. “Not what I expected.” She assessed Clarke for a moment. “How are you doing?”

“Good. I’m still tired, but things are healing.”

“You look better.” Octavia motioned her toward the balcony and she joined her outside. She sank gratefully to the planks, her back against the wall. Clarke did the same and the stone of the tower was warm against her back.

“I didn’t tell Abby too much about what happened in the forest before Lexa showed up.”

“Good.”

“I told her Lexa and her warriors took care of the attackers and that I had no doubt you’d get here okay. As much as I question her motives, she’s good in a fight.”

Clarke smiled. “Yeah. She is.” She remembered her first sight of Lexa through the rain, her swords moving like they were part of her, carving a path where before there had seemed little hope of one existing. “What did Krio say this morning?” she asked, because any thoughts of Lexa always led her back to their first kisses and the heat that accompanied those memories burned low in her belly. And, disconcertingly, lower than that.

“He demanded a decision.”

“Demanded or requested?”

“Strongly requested.” She grinned. “He brought the same men as last time. Abby stared him down.”

“Really?”

“Like last time. She told him that the message to take to Nia was that Sky Crew had not come to a decision, and until they did, there was no need to discuss it further with Ice Nation. Krio said he would consult with Nia. Indra put some scouts on him.”

That was good. Knowing Lexa, she had probably told Indra to watch him for a while then escort him to Polis. Clarke stretched her legs out, enjoying the sun’s warmth as it soaked through her dark pants. They still had a couple hours of daylight, and soon the rays would no longer reach her. “What about Kane?”

“He’s into an alliance. Abby was a little more cautious—we knew that would happen—but after I said what had happened with Ice Nation in the forest, she decided to go in with Lexa.”

It messed with Abby’s mom side when Clarke was in danger. In a weird way, the attack in the forest and Lexa showing up actually played well in favor of an alliance with Woods Clan.

“Did she mention any of that to Krio?” Clarke asked.

“I know you probably think she would have, but she didn’t. She was shocked when I told her about Lexa showing up and saving all of us. She was even more shocked when I said Lexa was on her way to Arkadia to discuss an alliance.”

“I’ll bet.” Clarke imagined Abby’s expression at that news.

“So what exactly is the deal with Lexa?”

The question caught Clarke off guard. “In what sense?”

“What’s your take on her position regarding an alliance?”

“I think she wants one. She saved us in the forest. And she’s been really protective of me here.” Octavia made a noise in the back of her throat and Clarke looked at her. “What?”

“It’s because she needs you to validate the coalition through an alliance and isolate Nia even more.”

Clarke started to retort but thought better of it and instead stared toward the forest beyond the city walls.

“Come on, Clarke. You’re _Wanheda_. Kane’s great and all as a representative, but the real symbolism of an alliance with Sky Crew is with you. Lexa knows that. She’s trying to get on your good side after Mt. Weather so you kneel to her willingly.”

The weight of old anger settled on Clarke’s shoulders, but it wasn’t entirely directed at Lexa. “What do you mean, kneel to her?”

“Lincoln told me. This might not be just about an alliance. And I know you’ve thought about it, too. This might be about joining Lexa’s coalition as a clan or something like that.”

Clarke frowned. “One thing at a time. An alliance is what we’re working for now.”

“Okay, so you get the alliance. That’s not going to fully stop Nia, because Sky Crew won’t have formal ties to Woods Clan. An actual place in the coalition is what Lexa probably wants.”

“What would that mean?”

“Sky Crew becomes a clan. There’s usually a ceremony that involves swearing loyalty to the Commander. Lincoln said that each clan representative kneels to whoever the Commander is. After the mountain, there wasn’t much chance you’d do that willingly. So Lexa has to try to get you on her side.”

Clarke remained silent for a while, sorting through both what Octavia had said and her feelings and instincts. “Yes,” she finally said. “Lexa needs me and she needs Sky Crew. But we need her, too. And I will do what I have to do for Arkadia.” It hit her then, how well she understood Lexa. Mostly through instinct, but also on a bone-deep level, in ways that should have scared her, but somewhere in the past few days, that had shifted.

“So you know she’s using you.” Octavia’s tone was hard but all Clarke could see was the sparkle in Lexa’s eyes when she bantered, and the way her rare smiles outshone the brightest sunlight.

“She’s the Commander,” Clarke said. “She does what she has to do. But unlike the rest of us, every decision she makes affects hundreds—maybe thousands—of people. She doesn’t have the luxury of hindsight, and she doesn’t have people around her who can step in as Commander if she’s too tired or messed up to lead.”

Octavia stared at her, expression a mixture of curiosity and shock.

“I had that luxury. Arkadia has Kane, my mom, Sinclair, Bellamy, Monty, Raven, you, Lincoln, and so many others. I knew it would be okay if I left, that you all could make it work. And I also knew that there was no way I could do much after the mountain.” She brought her left knee to her chest and rested her chin on it. “Lexa can’t ever just walk away,” she said, and she wondered if she was trying to convince Octavia or herself.

“Nice speech. Doesn’t change the fact that she’s using you to further her plans for Sky Crew to join the coalition.”

“We’ll deal with that when—if—we get there. I’ll do what I have to do to make an alliance work, and to keep Ice Nation off our backs.”

Octavia shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure you remember that this is Lexa you’re dealing with.”

Oh, Clarke remembered. She couldn’t forget. Lexa occupied practically every one of her waking moments. “I know you don’t like her or trust her. So just think of her as our best chance against Ice Nation.”

“Fair enough. Do you mind if I get some sleep before dinner?”

“Good idea.” Clarke leveraged herself up. Her thigh only protested a little.

Octavia got up, too. “Good talk,” she said, deadpan, and Clarke snorted a laugh.

“Yeah. See you in a bit.” She went back to her own quarters and thought about taking a nap, too, but the parchment on the table called her back to work. There were still a couple of hours, at least, before the evening meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Clarke has had some good rest and a venting session at Lexa and...well, that's added to these emerging feelz that Clarke is starting to allow herself to recognize. That said, she's got shit to do, people, because word comes from Arkadia and Ice Nation are being douchey over there.
> 
> Lexa is a woman of "meaningful subtlety." She can tell an entire story with a glance and a smile. She says what she means and she means what she says. Clarke can be a lot more transparent and emotive than Lexa, which is why they're such excellent counterbalances to each other. And the coolest thing is, they pick up so well on each other's moods and thoughts, and though they are very different and have different ways of expression, they've already learned, in many ways, how to read each other. I love that, and I hope that I'm able to convey some of that.
> 
> Because, friends, this is a precious ship to me, and I hope I can do it justice.
> 
> So. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your comments and kudos. I might be out battling the hordes on the flanks of Orodruin, but I will respond to your comments as soon as I can. Fear not! And you can always hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Some songs I listened to while writing this here chapter: ROZES, "Burn Wild" (Young Bombs Remix); Andrew Belle, "Pieces" (Guy Furious Remix); Halsey, "Ghost" (Lost Kings Remix)


	22. Dreams Made Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia, Clarke, and Lexa discuss some stuff over dinner. Clarke then asks some very pointed questions of Lexa, which only leads to...feelz.

“I have scouts ready to accompany you and Mora at first light, if you wish to leave then,” Lexa said.

Clarke glanced across the table at Octavia, who was on her second post-dinner cup of tea. She’d been relaxed throughout the meal and discussion about the alliance, for which Clarke was monumentally relieved.

“The earlier the better. If we leave then, we can be at Arkadia by early afternoon. That gives Kane time to prepare and he can leave for Polis the next morning.”

Lexa looked at Clarke, expectant, like she was waiting for her input.

“What happens when Kane gets here?” she asked.

“We discuss terms,” Lexa said.

“Who participates?” Her tone may have been a little harder than she intended because Lexa cocked her head and her brow furrowed.

“The initial discussions involve only parties who have direct interests in an alliance and have been designated as representatives of each side. Once we have come to an agreement, I present it to a council of clans.”

Clarke sat back. “Do the clans know that you’re pursuing an alliance with Sky Crew?”

“It is something that I have discussed with them privately and informally.”

“How likely is it that they’ll refuse it?”

Lexa’s gaze drilled into hers. “There are a few that worry that _Skaikru_ will become like the Mountain Men because you have guns and tech that we do not.”

“ _Skaikru_ made an agreement with _Trikru_ about the mountain,” Octavia interjected.

“Yes. But the reason the Mountain Men stayed where they were was because they could not leave. _Skaikru_ does not need a mountain and there are some among the clans who worry that _Skaikru_ will use its guns and tech against us.” Her gaze nailed Octavia. “And do not think there are no _Skaikru_ who wish to use the mountain again.”

Octavia’s eyes seemed to flash in anger, but she didn’t respond.

“But an alliance would fix those issues, right?”

Lexa shifted her attention back to Clarke, who saw in her eyes the woman at the Grounder battle camp, plotting strategy and pushing her in ways Clarke never expected but that she had—grudgingly at first—come to appreciate.

“That is, we could make those issues part of the agreement for an alliance between us. Would that ensure that the clans approve?”

“It would be helpful.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“That is what we shall _try_ to do,” Lexa amended. “And that is why you are needed in the council meetings.”

Octavia shot Clarke a look that she ignored. Instead, Clarke asked her, “What role did the Chancellor say I’m supposed to have in this?”

“She wants you to have authority to decide which terms, in consultation with Kane. Seems she wants you for the long-term decision-making and Kane for the short-term.”

“So I’m official _Skaikru_ representation?” She scarcely believed it, given Abby’s usual approach. “Why?”

Octavia shrugged. “Kane and Sinclair talked to her. Bellamy did, too. I think Raven and Monty even talked to her.”

The weight of responsibility sat in her gut, but when she glanced at Lexa, it didn’t seem as heavy as it might have. This Lexa she could work with, and this Lexa seemed to genuinely have Sky Crew’s interests at heart as well as those of her own people. She was still trying to reconcile the different layers of the Commander with what Lexa had shown her before the mountain and now. Maybe she’d never be able to, and she would just have to accept the deal Lexa had made there as one of the parts she didn’t like much. She could live with that, if the Lexa who sat next to her was the one who showed up regularly.

“Clarke, you know I don’t always agree with you,” Octavia continued, “but I know that generally, you’re trying to do what you think is best for as many people as you can.” The look she threw at Lexa was a challenge, but Lexa didn’t react and Clarke wondered what she was thinking. Octavia drained her tea and pushed back from the table. “I need to sleep,” she said, and there was no further challenge in her tone. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

“The scouts will be ready at first light, outside the tower. One of the guards will escort you,” Lexa said.

“Okay.”

Clarke stood and went around the table. “I might not see you in the morning unless you want to.”

She snorted. “Been sleeping in?”

“Trying to.”

“It’s probably doing you some good.”

Clarke gave her a brief hug. “See you later.”

“Yeah.” She smiled and left.

Clarke stared after her for a few moments and then a knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” Clarke called and a teenaged girl entered. She nodded at Lexa and started stacking dishes on a tray. “ _Mochof_ ,” Clark said automatically as she stepped aside. The girl smiled and carried the tray back into the corridor.

“Do you wish to rest?”

Clarke jerked her gaze back to Lexa, who remained sitting. She wasn’t wearing her coat, swords, or facepaint, though she retained the small gold sunburst on her forehead. Clarke still wasn’t used to seeing her like this, without the trappings of Commander, and it left her a little uncertain about how to interact with her.

“Clarke?” Lexa started to get up but Clarke shook her head.

“I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“Do you wish to discuss something more?”

Clarke’s gaze moved to Lexa’s neck, which was visible because the collar of the shirt she wore was open. Lexa shifted slightly and Clarke caught a glimpse of scars along her left collarbone, faint vertical lines just visible in the light from several nearby candles. A big part of her wanted to trace the scars with her fingertips but another part of her shut that down.

“Will an alliance help the _kongeda_?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“What place does _Skaikru_ have in it?”

“Whatever place we agree on.”

Clarke sat down again. “An alliance with _Trikru_ is not the same as joining the _kongeda_ , is it?”

“No.”

“Will the clans—with the exception of _Azgeda_ —be more accepting of an alliance with _Skaikru_ or with _Skaikru_ entering the _kongeda_?”

Lexa’s expression was unreadable, something that probably served her well when dealing with the clans. “There are those among the clans who are suspicious of _Skaikru_ no matter the agreement we reach.”

“Among clan leaders?”

“A few.”

“I want to meet with them separately, before we begin formal talks.”

Lexa’s eyes widened. "Do you?"

“It’s the only way to convince them that _Skaikru_ is not a threat to them, and that we want to work with the _kongeda_.”

“You're certain?”

“Yes.”

“There are those among _Skaikru_ who will never agree to that,” she said.

“I don’t think they’re in the majority.”

Lexa’s expression softened. “All one needs for discord is a vocal minority. And there is one on the Arkadia council—this Sanders you spoke of—who will never be an ally.”

“We’ll work around him. We have to.”

Lexa didn’t reply and Clarke knew she was waiting for her to continue, as if she understood that Clarke had other thoughts she needed to express.

“If _Skaikru_ decides to join the _kongeda_ , what will that mean for Nia?”

“She will be the one leader who has refused to join, and it will further isolate her.”

“Does she have support of any of the clans?”

“Not fully, though there are those among the clans who wish to see her as Commander. They do not approve of some of my decisions and think she would be a better leader.”

Clarke studied Lexa’s face. She spoke matter-of-factly about Nia, as if there wasn’t a terrible history between them. “Lincoln said she could never be Commander,” Clarke said. “Is it because she doesn’t have the blood of one?”

Lexa’s brow furrowed. “Who told you this?”

“Wash.”

She relaxed, but a wariness remained in the depths of her eyes. “It is true that Nia is not a _Natblida_ , but there is one who serves her who is. Nia may not be able to take the spirit of the Commander, but she may try to control one who can. If Nia controls her, then she can call herself Commander.”

“But they still have to go through you and the other clans to do that.”

“True. Unless they find a way to kill me first, in order for the spirit of the Commander to be freed.”

Clarke thought about that, and wondered if Lexa was discussing some kind of belief in reincarnation. “What does _Natblida_ mean?”

“Nightblood,” Lexa said, but offered no further explanation and Clarke decided, from the warning in her eyes, that it was a subject for discussion later.

“So if _Skaikru_ were to enter the _kongeda_ , it would further isolate Nia and it would strengthen the ties of the clans and _Skaikru_.”

“Yes.”

“Would that effect be the same with an alliance?”

“At first, yes. Nia might not seek an alliance with _Skaikru_ , but any leader of _Skaikru_ can break an alliance. If, however, _Skaikru_ enters the _kongeda_ , it is a much stronger tie. You are a clan, then. _Skaikru_ would have the support of all the clans in all matters. Any move against you is thus a move against me.”

Clarke went silent again, thinking. “What will happen to _Azgeda_ if _Skaikru_ becomes a clan in the _kongeda_?”

“I have offered a place in the _kongeda_ to _Azgeda_. Nia agreed at first, but has not formally accepted. She stalls, and uses Krio in ways she thinks I don’t know. She sows dissent among the other clans, by claiming that my decision at Mt. Weather showed weakness and I am not fit to be Commander.”

Clarke stared at her. “Because you didn’t stay and fight?”

“Yes.”

“You might have lost a lot more people had you stayed and fought,” she said, but not as a judgment on the decision to leave. Rather, more as a way to help her work it through. She raised her gaze to Lexa’s. “Nia put the bounty on me to kill me, didn’t she? Because of my ties to you and as a way to politically leverage the death of _Wanheda_ over you.”

Lexa nodded. “Nia does not bargain with me outside the council. If she had found you, I don’t know if I could have helped you.”

Clarke pushed back from the table, overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. She went out onto the balcony, where a soft rain fell, but she welcomed it, welcomed the chill on her skin and the way it made her feel alive.

“Clarke,” Lexa said softly from the doorway. “Please come in.”

She turned. “Costia,” she said and Lexa dropped her gaze for a moment. “Nia used Costia against you,” Clarke continued, “because she was close to you. That’s what Nia wants to do with me.”

“Yes.”

“And yet you would have Nia in the _kongeda_.”

Lexa stepped onto the balcony, joining her in the rain. “Nia is not the whole of _Azgeda_. She is effective insofar as she keeps people divided against each other, and elevates herself over the needs of her people, who would benefit from a coalition of clans. But Nia is greedy for power, not for her people, and as long as Nia sows fear and pushes for war, she protects herself from the discontented. If she joined the _kongeda_ , she would not be able to fight me as she does now. She would find other ways, but it would prove more difficult, and her people might decide that her son is a better choice as leader.”

“Son?”

“ _Roan kom Azgeda_.”

“Does he know what Nia is doing?”

“Yes. Nia doesn’t trust him, and sent him to find _Wanheda_.”

“Do you know where he is?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.” She said nothing further and Clarke wrenched her gaze away and stared out over the city, the chilly darkness broken by pinpricks of light from torches and fires whose glows emanated from windows below. Softer, wavering light indicated candles. She gripped the balcony, the rail cold and slick beneath her palms. Lexa was willing to bring Ice Nation into the coalition to protect them all, even after what Nia had done. It would prevent Ice Nation from moving against Sky Crew, and if Sky Crew entered, it would make Sky Crew part of Lexa’s people.

Her people. A move against Sky Crew was a move against Lexa. No longer would Lexa choose between her people and Sky Crew, or between her people and Clarke. The thought threatened to leave her breathless, and the skill with which Lexa maneuvered this political terrain left her silent for a few moments.

She turned back to her. “When I was in the forest, did you look for me?”

“Yes.”

“Did you find me?”

Lexa’s gaze didn’t waver. “Yes.”

“You knew where I was?” She stared hard at Lexa, as if that would somehow extract every truth out of her and lay her bare in the rain.

“Not always, but often.”

“Why didn’t you bring me in?”

“You would not have accepted my help. But I would have provided such had you needed it, regardless.”

“What if _Azgeda_ had found me?”

“Then I would have brought you to Polis for your own safety and for that of _Skaikru_.”

“Even if I didn’t want to accept your help?” She crossed her arms, shivering a little. Her shirt was wet and cold against her skin.

“Yes. Even if you would not have accepted it, I would have brought you to Polis to protect you from Nia.”

She ran her hands over her hair, uncertain what to do with these revelations, or with the knowledge that as much as Lexa knew the importance of _Wanheda_ to an alliance or to the _kongeda_ , she was motivated by something deeper. Something Clarke had been refusing to accept, because she felt it, too, had always felt it, and it was why it hurt so much when Lexa left the mountain.

“You would risk me hating you more for bringing me in against my will?”

“To protect you, yes.”

She turned away again, battling tears, though she wasn’t sure why she wanted to cry. Maybe because Lexa would rather Clarke hate her than she hate herself, that she was willing to feed Nia’s conspiracies to protect her.

“If you knew where I was, why didn’t you try to contact me?”

“Do you think you would have been willing to discuss an alliance then?”

Clarke turned back to the city, biting her lip. “No,” she admitted. She was in no position to deal with Lexa right after the mountain. No position to deal with any responsibility beyond her immediate survival. “Did you watch me because you need me for the _kongeda_?” She didn’t turn around. “Is that why I’m here?”

“It’s true that _Wanheda_ is important to an alliance with _Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said.

Clarke turned toward her, anger welling within.

“But,” Lexa continued with a quiet intensity, “ _you_ are here because _Klark kom Skaikru_ is important to _me_.”

Clarke stared at her, the admission ringing in her ears. “I’m—” she stopped, because words failed, were utterly inadequate to express the storm within. “I need to think,” she managed.

“Will you go inside first?”

Clarke bit back a sob at the concern in Lexa’s tone and brushed past her. Lexa followed her in and she shut the door to the balcony then regarded Clarke for a long moment.

“Please,” Clarke said. “I need to be alone. I’ll be all right.”

Lexa nodded and left, the door clicking shut behind her. Clarke stood for a while, her wet clothing cold against her skin. Finally, she stripped, and that’s when the tears came, and she sank to the floor in the bathroom, wrapped in a large drying cloth, bombarded by feelings she’d been denying, and revelations she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with. She craved Lexa, longed for her in ways she didn’t fully understand, but she was desperately afraid of what her feelings meant for either of them.

Eventually, the tears stopped, replaced by a wave of exhaustion. She pulled on a dry shirt and a different pair of shorts, thinking that Balta was going to wonder about the state of the dressing on her thigh, which had gotten a little damp and loose. The wound didn’t hurt, though, so Clarke blew out most of the candles and crawled into bed, heart aching in new ways.

###

Clarke stared at the monitors. In one, Cage glared at her while behind him, Mountain Men drilled into Abby’s thigh. In another, Jasper held onto Maya, surrounded by both Sky Crew and other residents of Mt. Weather. And in another, Lexa stood in a bland white room, like the one Clarke had initially been put into at the mountain.

She gripped the lever that would flood the mountain with radiation and Bellamy put his hand over hers. The lever moved, and people collapsed in the room with Jasper and Sky Crew, who remained standing. He sobbed as Maya’s skin blistered and bubbled and Clarke looked up at the monitor where Lexa stood, and she gasped in horror because her skin, too, was blistering. Lexa stared at the camera, and Clarke tore herself away from the lever, and burst into a corridor beyond, as if she could find Lexa and somehow help her.

“Lexa,” she called, “No, no, no…” she raced down the corridor, heart in her throat, until she was in the part of the mountain where the quarantine rooms were. “Lexa,” she called again, and she went from door to door, peering through the windows. “No,” she kept saying, heart pounding. Where was she? “Lexa.”

“Clarke.”

“Where—”

“I’m here.”

Clarke jerked fully awake, sweating and breathing heavily. Lexa was seated on the bed next to her, and Clarke was gripping her hand so hard it must have hurt, but Lexa didn’t try to pull away.

“A dream,” Lexa said and Clarke glanced at her then around the room. She threw the remainder of the furs off her and sat up, trembling, then lifted Lexa’s hand and inspected it in the candlelight. No blisters. Clarke almost sobbed with relief. She released her hand and got out of bed. The night chill in the room prickled the skin on her legs.

“We were in the mountain. The radiation—”

“It was a dream,” Lexa repeated, tone gentle. She stood, too, but didn’t tell Clarke to go back to bed or rest. Instead, she waited, as she always did, for Clarke to say or do whatever else she wanted or needed to.

“I can’t hate you,” Clarke finally said, and the revelation overwhelmed her. “And I tried. You have no idea how hard I tried.”

Lexa said nothing.

“I thought I could kill you, after the mountain. But I can’t.” The image of Lexa from her dream made her chest ache. “I could never—” She sank onto the bed, her head in her hands, a storm of emotions roaring through, and all of them about Lexa. She knew when Lexa sat down next to her and she knew that she was there to keep her from hurting herself and it pissed her off that no matter how much she raged at her, Lexa would let her. And she would check on her here and in the forest and probably beyond, and keep her safe to the best of her abilities.

It pissed her off that Lexa would do all these things no matter how Clarke felt about her. She bit her lip to keep from crying. It pissed her off because it defused her anger, made her realize that she had spent so much time hating what she had done and directing it at Lexa, when what she really wanted was—she choked back another sob. The images from her dream spooled through her mind again, Lexa in one of the rooms at Mt. Weather, succumbing to radiation while Clarke struggled to find her, wracked with fear and loss.

She balled her hands into fists and slammed them onto her thighs, frustrated, confused, and desperate for something she was only now realizing she needed. She struck at her thighs again but Lexa was suddenly in front of her and caught her wrists before her hands could connect with her legs again.

Clarke wrenched her hands out of her grip and jerked to her feet. Her thigh hurt but she didn’t care. She whirled on Lexa, and grabbed the front of her shirt for leverage to push her as hard as she could. But she hesitated. Lexa didn’t resist and Clarke fought a sob and relaxed her hold.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said softly, and the apology echoed in her eyes, across the planes of her face. “I never meant to do this to you.”

Everything within quieted with her words and Clarke let go of her. She stared at Lexa in the light from the few candles still burning, at the dark short-sleeved shirt that exposed her neck and arms and the trousers that hugged the muscles of her thighs. She stared at Lexa’s hair, which hung mostly unbraided around her shoulders, and at the symmetry of the dark geometric shapes that made up the tattoo on her right arm. She had never seen this Lexa, never seen this expression in her eyes, unguarded and worried, defenses completely down.

A different set of emotions rushed through her, and Clarke moved before she thought better of it, before she let fear overcome her, and she slid her arms around Lexa’s waist. She didn’t tighten her grip. Instead, she put her head on her shoulder and waited for whatever she decided to do.

Lexa tensed, her arms at her sides, but Clarke held on, and let these other emotions within direct her thoughts and actions because this— _this_ —was what she wanted from Lexa, and it was _this_ that pissed her off earlier, because she hadn’t wanted to admit it until now. Clarke breathed her in and soaked up the warmth and safety emanating from her body, until it seemed Lexa’s heartbeat was hers, too, and that all their broken parts intertwined and knitted themselves together like fractures slowly being made whole.

And then Lexa relaxed with a sigh and in the next breath, her arms were around her, and her hands were pressed lightly against her back and Clarke wondered when the last time was that Lexa had done this with anyone, when the last time was that she had allowed someone this close.

She held Clarke tentatively, not moving, as if she was afraid the moment would end, still giving Clarke room to take what she needed or retreat. Clarke felt the warmth from her palms on her back and she knew Lexa would never presume, would never demand of Clarke what she wouldn’t willingly give. So Clarke slowly tightened her embrace, and Lexa did the same, following her lead, until it was hard to tell where she ended and Lexa began, and Clarke had never felt so protected, so accepted, so cared for. Lexa’s armor extended deeper than her surface, but here, in this shared moment, she had chosen to remove it, chosen to lower her sword and allow Clarke past her guard, past the walls she'd built to carry the weight of her world.

She closed her eyes, excruciatingly aware of this act of trust, and of Lexa’s chest rising and falling against hers and the hard lines of her muscles pressed close. She thought of the mountain again, and the choice Lexa made, and what it had cost them both. But here they were, once again on the cusp of war while seeking peace and Clarke didn’t realize she was crying again until Lexa pulled back slightly and cupped her cheeks with her hands. She wiped gently with her thumbs, her expression so full of understanding that everything calmed, and Clarke covered her hands with her own and leaned into her, where she let the tears come, let Lexa gather her close, one hand on her back, the other in her hair.

She let herself cry, let her tears soak into Lexa’s shirt, until she was done and she could only cling to her, knowing that Lexa would continue to hold her, and that she’d remain as long as required. Clarke relaxed against her until she was nearly asleep, surrounded by Lexa’s warmth and strength, and by an unfamiliar peace within, as if something had finally fallen into place, as if she had finally found something that had been missing.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered after a while.

“Hmm?”

“Sleeping is generally more comfortable when you lie down.”

She sighed against Lexa’s shoulder, not wanting to let go. “Will you stay?” she asked a few moments later.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Then I will.”

Clarke reluctantly disentangled herself and moved to the bed. Lexa waited for her to get settled, but Clarke held the furs up and motioned for her to join her. Lexa hesitated.

“Please,” Clarke said, and Lexa relented. She lowered herself onto the mattress, retaining space between them. But Clarke moved close enough to take her hand and she interlaced their fingers and the last thing she heard was Lexa’s quiet encouragement to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This chapter includes some Clexa feelz. And I had an extremely hard time writing it.
> 
> So, my friends. This is a major feelz scene. I hope I did it justice.
> 
> I also want to thank all of you for your comments and kudos thus far. I may not respond to your comments right away, but it's not cuz I don't LUUUUV you. It's just cuz I'm battling the First Order so Rey can find Luke Skywalker. But you can also shoot me a note on Twitter, if you're so inclined: @andimarquette
> 
> These songs made me cry while I wrote this chapter: RAIGN, "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" and Mahama, "Spoke the Words"


	23. Mornings and Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things look different in the mornings. Oh, and Octavia has to get her ass back to Arkadia right quick. Then Lexa has to get ready for a meeting with the council of clans.

Clarke opened her eyes, limbs heavy with relaxation. Lexa faced her, head cradled on her arm, hair spread across the pillow. Her features were soft in sleep, bathed in the light from the few candles near the bed still burning and Clarke propped herself on her elbow and stared at this Lexa, the one who allowed her to see her like this, without the trappings of Commander. She extended her hand, wanting to touch the scars on her collarbone and trace the line of her jaw, but she stopped herself, awash in a sea of emotion that both inspired and scared her.

What did it mean, that Lexa was here with her like this? Her gaze followed the line of Lexa’s jaw then slid to her lips and Clarke remembered the easy, charged moments they had shared just before Mt. Weather, moments imbued with the knowledge that Lexa had allowed herself to feel for Clarke what she had not allowed for herself in years, and that she had openly expressed it. The warrior whose blades and hands bore the blood and pain of so many was so gentle in that moment, her lips soft and searching against Clarke’s, so gentle with her in the private interactions they shared—these moments were gifts, Clarke realized, and in spite of the mountain—maybe because of it—Lexa continued to give.

Not heartless. No, the Commander of the Grounder clans was far from heartless.

Lexa’s eyes opened then, and a flush raced up Clarke’s back. “Another dream?” Lexa asked, voice soft.

“No.” The ghosts left her alone when Lexa was near, but she wasn’t ready to unpack the implications of that. “Thank you,” she said, “for staying.” And everything before that, she added silently but she saw in Lexa’s expression that she understood.

For a while, Lexa studied her, as if making sure she truly was all right. Her fingertips rested lightly on the back of Clarke’s hand, a point of contact and comfort, but it made her breath catch all the same.

“You’ve—” Clarke stopped, searching for the right words. “You’ve been with me since the mountain.”

Lexa watched her, attentive.

“This whole time. No matter how hard I tried to push you out, it didn’t work. You’ve been here—” she pointed at her head, “and here.” She touched her chest.

Lexa’s fingers moved gently on Clarke’s hand, continuing to comfort, and Clarke saw her thoughts mirrored in the depths of her eyes, and she realized that parts of her had found their way into Lexa, too.

“You’re still here. With me.” She gestured at herself. “It’s been confusing.”

Lexa’s fingers stilled on Clarke’s hand. “You don’t have to try to understand everything at once.”

Clarke nodded, not just at the statement, but at the knowledge that Lexa would give her all the time she needed to figure things out. She relaxed and entwined their fingers, and it was safe and familiar, somehow, being with her like this, saying all else that needed to be said without words, in the simple touch of their hands and the expression in Lexa’s eyes.

“I must prepare for the departure of the scouts and Octavia to Arkadia,” Lexa said after a while.

“Now?” She glanced over Lexa’s shoulder at the darkness outside the doors to the balcony.

“It is nearly first light.”

“How do you even know that?”

Lexa smiled. “I am _Heda_. I know many things.”

She laughed, even as she melted inside. “Was that what I thought it was?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” But she was still teasing.

“What will the council of clans think if they know _Heda_ makes jokes?”

“Unlike _Heda_ , there are many things the council of clans does _not_ know.” Lexa’s eyes seemed to sparkle in the remaining candlelight. “That is one of them. And it will remain as such.”

She held Lexa’s gaze for a while and the space between them now was heavy with possibility, like months ago, when Lexa’s lips had moved against hers, hungry but tender. A warrior’s kiss, grateful for the chance to be given in the treasured spaces between hard choices and hard fights.

“Do you still wish to see Polis today?” Lexa asked.

“Yes. But I also want to go with you at first light.”

“Very well. I’ll return for you. Rest until I do.” She gave Clarke’s hand a quick squeeze and slipped out from under the furs. Clarke watched her leave, and she missed her as the door clicked shut.

She sighed and pulled Lexa’s pillow close. It smelled like her, like wind and rain and leather and spice, and Clarke closed her eyes, thinking she’d doze for a few minutes.

“Clarke.”

She rolled over at Lexa’s voice, thinking she forgot something but instead Lexa sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in her customary Commander clothing. She wore her knives but not her swords or facepaint. Still, her eyes seemed luminous in the candlelight.

“It’s nearly time.”

“Okay. Let me get dressed.”

“You’re certain?”

“Yes.”

Lexa moved so Clarke could get out of bed and a light knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” Clarke said and Balta entered. Clarke looked at her, then at Lexa, who shrugged.

“To check your wounds.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said in greeting. “And Clarke. Food later, yes?”

“Yes,” Clarke said on her way to the bathroom. She heard Balta and Lexa speaking in Trigedasleng, but she didn’t catch many of the words. When she finished and washed up, she emerged and went dutifully over to Balta, who had lit several more candles, including a few on the table.

She frowned and removed the dressing from Clarke’s thigh, but then she nodded, satisfied, as she inspected the slice, which was healing well, though it would leave a scar. Clarke welcomed it.

Balta applied more salve and a new dressing. “ _Odon_.” 1

“What about—” Clarke gestured at her arm, which still bore a huge bruise.

She smiled. “ _Nodotaim_. _Hos op_.” 2 She gestured toward Lexa with her head and Clarke went to the shelves, selected some clothing, and retreated into the bathroom where she dressed quickly.

Lexa and Balta were speaking again, but when Clarke returned, Lexa stared at her over Balta’s shoulder, expression in her eyes unreadable because she was in Commander mode, but Clarke had seen the depths beneath, had experienced them even that morning, and it made her feel as if she held a precious secret that Lexa had willingly shared.

Clarke pulled her boots on and slipped her knife into her belt sheath where she usually wore it, and shrugged into her jacket. Lexa gave her a nod of approval and moved to the door. Clarke followed and once in the corridor, two guards joined them and accompanied them in the lift to the first floor.

They walked to the main entrance, Clarke at Lexa's side, a few more guards with them, and exited. Five _Trikru_ scouts waited with their horses just outside. Mora and Octavia stood nearby. Murmurs of “ _Heda_ ” greeted them as they approached. The sun had yet to crest the mountains, but the initial pre-dawn gray was all the light they needed. Lexa addressed the scouts in Trigedasleng, then did the same with Mora. From what Clarke could tell, it was a final discussion about instructions.

Another warrior approached from behind the tower, guiding two horses Clarke guessed were for Octavia and Mora. She was right, as each of them took a set of reins.

“If Kane leaves tomorrow morning, he should be here tomorrow afternoon. Possibly sooner, depending on how far they can take him in the Rover,” Octavia said to Lexa.

“My scouts will be at the rendezvous.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa nodded. As much as Octavia was suspicious of her, she did understand how important a show of respect could be, especially in circumstances like these and Clarke appreciated it.

“ _Hod op_ ,” Clarke said. “ _Heda_ , _teik ai chich Okteivia op_?” 3

Lexa raised an eyebrow, a flicker of surprise and approval in her expression. “ _Sha_.”

Clarke sensed surprise among the guards, but also a grudging appreciation as she moved closer to Octavia.

“Not bad,” she said. “Been practicing?”

“Whatever helps the cause.”

“Whatever that is.”

Clarke gave her a look and Octavia shrugged. “How does Bellamy feel about Sanders?” Clarke asked in a low voice.

“Can’t stand him.”

“Good. Tell him to make sure someone watches him and who he talks to. If we’re going to make this work with Lexa, we have to know how much support Sanders has and where it’s coming from.”

“A lot of the Farm Station supporters we found will probably oppose whatever agreement we make with _Trikru_. They had run-ins with _Azgeda_ and Pike—”

“Pike?”

“Earth skills. Remember him? He’s leader of a faction of Farm Station that isn’t into Abby or Kane. He also hates Grounders because of what happened when Farm Station came to the ground.” She adjusted her grip on the reins of her horse as it snorted and stamped.

“ _Azgeda_ attacked them?”

“Yeah.”

“And he’s at Arkadia? Why didn’t anybody say anything?”

“I thought Bellamy might have mentioned it. Then again, you were pretty busy when you got back.” Her expression was wry.

“Watch him. And warn my mom. Make sure Bellamy knows all of this. Pike and Sanders might cause problems with Indra and Lexa’s reinforcements.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry. Bellamy knows and Lincoln and I will take care of it.”

Clarke shot a glance at Lexa, who was speaking to one of her guards. “Tell Indra.”

“Way ahead of you.” She squeezed Clarke’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to Kane before he leaves, but he’s been watching Sanders, too. He knows.”

She pulled Octavia into a hug. “Be careful.”

“You, too.” She looked at Lexa then back at Clarke, and her meaning was clear. Clarke nodded and rejoined Lexa, who raised her hand.

“ _Gouthru klir hashta yo soujon_ ,”4 she said, and all the riders mounted and turned their horses away from the tower, toward the gates.

“We shall eat,” Lexa said to her and Clarke followed her back inside and back onto the lift. Lexa issued instructions to the guards before the lift stopped at the floor they had left earlier that morning. This time, however, Lexa directed Clarke into her own quarters.

Clarke stepped inside to the glow of many candles, though Lexa crossed the room to her balcony and she moved the draperies aside to allow the dawn to flow across the floor. The wall next to the balcony doors was glass block, which allowed muted light through, but Clarke had come to appreciate candlelight, which seemed to warm up a space and make it welcoming. She wasn’t entirely surprised by Lexa’s quarters—they were spacious and, like hers, decorated with thick rugs and heavy carved furniture. Lexa apparently liked shelves, because several jutted from the wall opposite Lexa’s bed, home to various objects.

Most of the walls were undecorated, which gave the rooms a peaceful air and Clarke realized that Lexa’s quarters were as much a sanctuary for her as a living space. Yet another layer to the Commander. She glanced at the bed, and its beautifully carved headboard and pile of white furs. A carved wooden trellis surrounded the headboard, like half of a large wheel. Thick candles were spaced at regular intervals around it on specially designed holders, but none currently burned.

Her gaze tracked back to the bed but she jerked her attention to Lexa, who stood watching her. “Do my quarters meet your approval?”

Clarke smiled because Lexa was teasing her again, and Clarke realized that this was not something she indulged in often. “Beautiful. And peaceful.”

“Does that surprise you?”

“It would have a few weeks ago. It doesn’t now.”

Lexa half-smiled, and Clarke wanted to run her fingertips over the curve of her lips, as if that would somehow capture the gentle lift of her mouth. How did they seem to end up here again, where the air hung heavy between them, with promise and unfinished business?

A knock sounded at the door.

“ _Min yu op_ ,”5 Lexa said and one of the guards opened the door.

“ _Heda_ , _dina_.” 6 He moved aside and a young girl and boy entered, each carrying a tray. He followed them and stood near the table.

Both murmured her title and bobbed their heads in respectful greeting.

“ _Mochof_.” Lexa directed them to the table, where they set the dishes out then retreated as quickly as they had come. “Please, sit.” Lexa motioned at one of the chairs and Clarke slid into it, wondering if there was a particular way to eat with the Commander. She waited for Lexa to sit, too, and for her to start the process. Lexa did, by serving Clarke first. She filled her bowl with stew and poured what smelled like the earthy spice tea that seemed popular in Polis.

Clarke waited for Lexa to serve herself and then the guard dipped a spoon into the stew and tasted it. He did the same with all the food then nodded and left.

“When I eat in my quarters, I must be careful,” Lexa said.

“Especially in times like these.” Clarke took a bite and the stew warmed her all the way to her feet.

“Yes.” Lexa sipped her tea. “I meet with the council of clans today.”

“Should I be there?”

“Not this time.” She dunked her bread into the stew and bit into it. Though the silence stretched between them, it was comfortable and Clarke appreciated how not speaking could say as much if not more than words.

“When are you meeting with them?”

Lexa finished her stew before responding. “Soon.”

Clarke didn’t push. “I’ll be in my quarters,” she said as she ate her bread, watching the almost fastidious way Lexa ate. It fascinated her, how Lexa could be so many different things at once, and how she always seemed to meet Clarke where Clarke needed her to be. “Does _Azgeda_ have an ambassador in Polis?”

“Yes. A matter for a later discussion.”

Another knock sounded at the door and Clarke decided being Commander could get tedious.

“ _Min yu op_.”

It opened and the tall robed man from the meeting room the day before entered. “ _Heda_ , a word.” He glanced at Clarke and inclined his head in acknowledgement. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“Speak,” Lexa said.

Again he glanced at Clarke but Lexa stared him down and he said something to her in Trigedasleng. Clarke recognized the name Krio. Lexa nodded when he was finished and raised her hand in dismissal. He bowed his head and left as quietly as he had entered.

“That is Titus,” Lexa said. “A close advisor and mentor. And often suspicious.”

“Is he against an alliance with _Skaikru_?”

“He is against any alliance that may diminish _Trikru_.”

“So he thinks that we might join the _kongeda_ to undermine you?”

Lexa drained her cup and set it on the table, her motions delicate. “Titus believes that the only way to ensure order is through the neverending application of force.” She ran her fingertips along the rim of the cup. “I am of a different opinion.” Her fingers stopped moving and she nailed Clarke with her gaze. “Force is not always as effective as other means. But it’s not the way of my people to embrace such things. Not easily. And not yet.” She stood. “I must attend the meeting. Will you wait so that I may accompany you into Polis?”

“Yes, definitely. I’ll see you when you’re ready.” She stood as well and thought she saw relief and anticipation in Lexa’s eyes before she moved to the door.

She turned toward her, fingers on the handle. "Thank you for joining me this morning."

"Wouldn't miss it."

Lexa flashed her a smile and Clarke stared, her breath catching in her throat as Lexa opened the door. She followed her into the corridor and watched her stride toward the lift with the familiar regal bearing of the Commander, guards at her side. And then she returned to her quarters, nodded at the warrior at her door, and retrieved the painting she had been working on from a shelf. As soon as she touched brush to parchment, her thoughts quieted and for a while, she was simply part of the methodical strokes of her hand, and the image that formed beneath it.

  
1 _Odon_ : done   
2 _Nodotaim...Hos op_ : later; another time...hurry up   
3 _Heda_ , _teik ai chich Okteivia op_? Heda, can I speak with/talk to Octavia?   
4 _Gouthru klir hashta yo soujon_ : safe passage on your (pl.) travels   
5 _Min yu op_ : Enter/come in   
6 _Heda_ , _dina_ : Heda, your meal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how are you, after the feelz of the last chapter? Well, here, there are a few more.
> 
> I love feelz scenes. But they are extremely difficult for me to write and in some cases, they're draining. Not necessarily in a bad way. But this is a special ship to me, and I so want to do it justice. So I spend a shit-ton of time on the feelz scenes, and getting the transitions right because more often than not, feelz are interrupted by the other stuff going on in the lives of leaders. Hopefully it worked here.
> 
> So Clarke got to see Lexa in her non-Commander mode, but then Lexa had to get right back into Commander mode, but she still manages to assure Clarke that underneath it, there are many more layers, and pretty much all of them are available for Clarke's perusal if she wants to. But Lexa is patient. SO DAMN PATIENT.
> 
> I seriously might be a little in love with Lexa. But then, WHO THE HELL ISN'T????
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate it and I try to respond to comments as soon as I can, but sometimes I'm off drinking to recover from the feelz scenes and it might take a bit longer. Don't worry! I'll be fine! You can also always hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Here are a couple of songs I listened to during the writing of this chapter: Kygo, "For What It's Worth"; Matt Millz, "Follow You Home" (Melt and Nyg Remix)


	24. Council Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa addresses the clan council, but she's got a few things up her sleeve...

“I have heard tales, _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ , that _plana_ Nia seeks an alliance with _Skaikru_.” Lexa’s tone was mild, but all the gathered clan representatives shifted uncomfortably and glanced at each other.

Krio stood facing her, guards on either side of him. “Is this why you hauled me back to Polis? To ask me questions? Surely _Heda_ has better things to do.”

The room went silent and the guards next to Krio gripped the hilts of their swords.

“You will address _Heda_ with respect,” Titus said from his position to the right of the Commander’s chair. Krio glanced at him, hatred in his eyes.

Lexa cocked her head slightly, as if trying to make sense of something ridiculous. “Nia refuses to join the _kongeda_ ,” she said, “yet she sent you and two others to Arkadia.”

Krio’s eyes widened and the other clan representatives muttered among themselves. He looked around the room, as if seeking allies, but no one looked at him. She had surprised him with this knowledge, and now she had him in a defensive position. A slight advantage for her, but men like Krio could be even more dangerous when on the retreat.

“Does Nia perhaps think that she will be able to challenge me should she have the support of _Skaikru_?” she pressed, more to ensure that the council heard than to elicit a response from Krio. She knew the value of an idea planted, and here, the presentation of it would sow doubt in the minds of those who might not support Nia completely but weren’t entirely comfortable with Lexa’s leadership.

He said nothing, which served more as an admission of guilt than anything verbal would. The guards on either side of him moved closer.

“Or perhaps Nia wants _Wanheda_ still, and will use her to buy support from _Skaikru_.”

“ _Wanheda_ is the reason you are weak,” Krio said, practically spitting the words. “She destroyed the _Maunon_ while you did not. Nia seeks strength in a Commander—”

“Nia seeks to _be_ Commander,” Lexa corrected before Titus could say anything. The other representatives fell silent. Krio’s jaw clenched. “Which leads me to question, again, the presence of _Azgeda_ warriors so close to Polis and to Arkadia. Perhaps Nia seeks to create a war between _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_ that she can then exploit.”

Whispers and furtive glances circulated around the room.

Krio refused to respond, but Lexa detected that she had maneuvered him into a corner that he might not escape.

“If Nia believes I am weak, perhaps she might bring her complaints to the council, rather than sneak warriors into the forests and attempt to create alliances with _Skaikru_.”

Still Krio remained silent.

“ _Heda_ , might I speak?”

Lexa shifted her gaze to the _Floukru_ 1 representative, a woman who commanded the respect of all the representatives. “ _Sha_ , _Atlan kom Floukru_.” 2 she said.

“We are all aware that _Azgeda_ warriors are in the forests near _Trikru_ territory. Nia’s representative has assured us it is merely a precautionary measure, but we have all seen what Nia has done in the past once she moves warriors close to another clan’s territory.”

Another round of whispers and murmurs.

“And now we hear that the _Azgeda_ representative has contacted _Skaikru_ without informing the council. As we all know, Nia has yet to join the _kongeda_. I would submit that _Heda_ is correct to ask these questions of the _Azgeda_ clan representative.”

“Nia is correct, then, to question _Heda_ ’s leadership,” Krio snapped and Lexa shifted her attention back to him. “After all, _Wanheda_ is here in Polis,” he said. “Alive.”

No one spoke.

Lexa sat back, seemingly relaxed. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_ is indeed in Polis, at the behest of Chancellor _Abi kom Skaikru_. The council is aware of this news.” She had expected Krio to bring this up, and she waited for him to push the issue, as she knew he would.

“Because _Skaikru_ seeks an alliance with _Trikru_ ,” Krio said in a low, dangerous voice that nonetheless carried through the room.

“Yes. With the council’s knowledge,” Lexa said, adding weight to her earlier statement about Nia seeking an alliance without alerting the clan representatives.

“ _Heda_ seeks such an alliance because of the power of _Wanheda_. She is not powerful on her own. It’s why _Wanheda_ remains alive while here.”

Titus took a step forward but Lexa raised her hand in an almost lazy gesture and he stopped, but Lexa sensed his displeasure. Wash, who stood on the other side of the Commander’s chair, shifted a little closer to her.

“ _Wanheda_ is alive because I have allowed it.” Lexa recognized Krio’s bluster for what it was. A calculated attempt to anger her into a display that would further delegitimize her leadership in the eyes of some. “And I require no bounty for a discussion about future relationships between _Skaikru_ and the _kongeda_.” Her meaning was clear. Nia’s leadership was contingent on force or offers of payment whereas _Wanheda_ and _Skaikru_ came to her willingly. Krio flushed, and the muscles of his jaw worked.

“Nia has yet to make her opinions known to the council,” she continued. “It seems she prefers to send her representative to arrange gathers with _Skaikru_ and to send scouts into _Trikru_ forests in a quest for _Wanheda_ , which she thinks will be sufficient to challenge me.” The insults were clear, but Lexa delivered them with the calm of a personable conversation and Krio’s eyes blazed with fury.

“ _Heda_ ,” Atlan said, and her voice diminished the growing tension in the room.

“Speak.”

“I ask those gathered here to consider that Nia refuses to join the _kongeda_ , though _Heda_ has extended an invitation. And now we learn that Nia sent _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ to Arkadia without our knowledge. Might we consider it time to call her to account?”

“That is the task of the ambassador,” said the _Delfikru_ 3 clan representative. A scar marred the left side of his face and he wore a patch to cover where his eye had been.

Atlan looked at Lexa, and waited for her to respond.

Lexa raised her gaze to the guards at the doors and nodded. They opened the doors on one accord and two more guards entered, a bound man between them. The clan representatives moved aside for them and they brought the man close to Krio, who looked at him, a flash of recognition in his eyes before he glanced away.

“ _Gonin kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, “ _Ai laik Heda Leksa kom Trikru_.” 4

He stared at her, stunned, and Krio looked first at her, then at Gonin, then back at Lexa, uncertain.

“Representatives of the twelve clans, I first met Gonin a few days ago, outside Polis, as he tried to smuggle information about the city and my forces to _plana_ Nia.” Lexa remained seated, but she didn’t need to stand for the impact of her statement to roll over the council like a tide. Whispers circulated again.

“ _Heda_ , I didn’t know—” Gonin started.

“ _Hosh op_ ,” Titus said and he and the clan reps stopped talking.

Lexa leaned back, her hands relaxed on the wood of the chair. “Krio paid you well, did he not.” It was not a question.

Gonin lowered his gaze.

“But he did not pay _Landis kom Trikru_.” She turned her attention back to Krio. “Rather, he encouraged the _Azgeda_ ambassador to pursue a relationship with one of my warriors, that information could pass out of the city to Gonin.”

Two of the clan representatives whose support for her had been lukewarm frowned.

“From there, it passed to Nia.”

Desperation moved across Krio’s features and his fists clenched at his sides.

“As a result of this turn of events, _Jos kom Azgeda_ is currently indisposed.”

“Where is the ambassador?” The _Delfikru_ representative asked.

“She is alive,” Lexa said with finality about that topic, more for Krio’s benefit than the council’s. She waved her hand at Gonin’s guards and they hauled him out of the room, followed by the gazes of all clan representatives except Krio’s. “I offered _Azgeda_ a place in the _kongeda_ ,” she said to him. “Together, the clans are stronger than apart, and war between the clans taxes our resources. The _Maunon_ understood this, and ensured that though they were a common enemy, that dissent among the clans kept us apart, and unable to effectively fight them. _Skaikru_ changed that, because they, like the _Maunon_ , use technology and thus understood the kind of fight necessary to destroy them.”

“ _Skaikru_ would occupy the mountain,” said another clan rep, accusing. “And then they will become as the _Maunon_.”

Lexa turned her gaze to him. “Which is why I discuss an alliance with _Skaikru_. That will be one of the terms, that no _Skaikru_ can occupy the mountain. And it is why I continue to offer a place in the _kongeda_ to _Azgeda_ , to present a unified front. But, _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ , my patience with you and _plana_ Nia in that regard wears thin.” She gave him a hard stare then nodded at Atlan to continue, because she knew the value of others who carried her message.

Atlan turned and faced the others. “Clans, we have already seen that Nia does not inform her ambassadors of her plans, though she uses them for other means. _Jos kom Azgeda_ knew nothing about the encampment a quarter-day’s walk from Polis.” Atlan looked around the room. “Jos was here to ensure that _Heda_ cannot in good faith address the encampment or _Azgeda_ scouts in _Trikru_ territory without Nia calling for redress. _Heda_ has honored the role of Nia’s ambassador, and has sought to address Nia’s incursions through the _Azgeda_ clan representative. Instead, Nia attempts alliances with _Skaikru_ without informing us, and she and her representative encourage the ambassador to spy. It is, I think, time for an accounting.”

Murmurs of assent filled the room and Krio’s jaw muscles clenched again.

“Do we have an agreement?” Atlan asked. She called each clan’s name with the exception of _Azgeda_ and received an affirmative response at which point she turned to Lexa.

“ _Heda_ , it is decided. We will send a messenger to _plana_ Nia requesting her presence in Polis to address these matters. A scout from each clan will accompany _Krio kom Azgeda_ to deliver this message.”

“Very well. Choose your scouts. They leave at first light for _Azgeda_.” The clan representatives filed out of the chamber, talking quietly, though Atlan lingered. “Please escort _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ to his quarters and ensure that he does not leave. His safety may be at stake,” she said to his guards. They bowed their heads and directed him out of the chamber, though he threw one last glare at her over his shoulder.

Lexa descended the steps and joined Atlan where she stood near the door.

“ _Heda_ , _teik ai chich yu op_?” 5

Lexa motioned for the guards and Wash to step out of the room, but Titus remained. “Speak, _Atlan kom Floukru_ ,” she said.

“Not all support an alliance with _Skaikru_ , and think perhaps you should kill _Wanheda_.”

“What is your opinion?”

“I think it is best to ally with _Skaikru_ , that you may watch them if nothing more, but there are rumors that some of them linger too long at the mountain.”

“This is one of the points we will discuss with _Skaikru_.”

“I do not think killing _Wanheda_ will further the _kongeda_. It will only benefit Nia, who pushes the idea that you showed weakness at the mountain.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “Nia pushes many ideas that also serve to benefit her.”

Atlan grimaced. “It is the way of things with her.” She lowered her voice even more. “You know our position with regard to war. Nia only creates that which serves her, and most often through war.”

She waited, impassive.

“ _Floukru_ approves of this _kongeda_.” Her tone carried extra meaning, and Lexa understood that the message came directly from the clan leader.

She nodded once and Atlan bowed her head in respect and left.

“ _Floukru_ will not help you in a war with Nia,” Titus said behind her.

“Not all wars are fought with weapons.”

“Luna only supports the _kongeda_ because it does not require that _Floukru_ arm itself against its fellow clans.”

“And is that such a bad thing, Titus?” Lexa looked up at him. “Perhaps were the clans to stop fighting each other, we might be able to provide even more to future generations.”

He frowned. “It is the way of things.”

“Not always.”

His expression was wary, as if she were committing some kind of blasphemy by saying such.

“Now speak to me of other matters. What of this evening’s competitions?”

“Everything is in place, _Heda_.”

“ _Os_. _Klark kom Skaikru_ wishes to see the city now. I will accompany her.”

“Will this not create more difficulties with some of the clan representatives?”

“Most likely. But it may also serve another purpose.”

“ _Ai na goch yu op_.” 6

“No. I need you to ensure that all goes smoothly this evening.”

He inclined his head, clearly displeased, but said nothing more.

Lexa left the room and went to the lift, Wash on one side of her and another guard on the other.

  
1 _Floukru_ : Boat People (Luna’s clan)   
2 _Atlan kom Floukru_ : Atlan of/from Boat People   
3 _Delfikru_ : Delphi Clan   
4 _Ai laik Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ : I am Commander Lexa of/from Trikru (Woods Clan)   
5 _Heda_ , _teik ai chich yu op?_ Heda, may I speak with you?   
6 _Ai na goch yu op_ : I will escort you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is in Commander mode in this chapter (and I so love it when I get to write her in that space), and demonstrates that no matter what some say about her, she is the kind of Commander we'd all be freaking lucky to have (if we had grown up as Grounders after a nuclear apocalypse and all). I've spent a lot more time delving into that here (I have the luxury to do so in a fanfic, after all), and digging into how Lexa might operate within this context.
> 
> I also love how political machinations and motivations can serve as both infrastructure and cement for characters and narratives, and I hope that you get a sense of that, too, with external forces pushing our fave ship together, though Clarke and Lexa already had the benefit of mutual respect and attraction (though Clarke is still sifting through the Mt. Weather situation).
> 
> And thank you SO MUCH for all the comments and kudos. REALLY appreciate you taking the time to read and lend your voices. I try to respond to comments in a timely way, but if I don't, it's because I'm seeking out brave new worlds and all of that and as soon as I have some downtime, I'll totally get right to it. You can also find me on the Twitterz: @andimarquette
> 
> A few songs that put me in council mode while writing this chapter: Aerotek, "Antifreeze Overdose" (original mix); Noizekid, "Goodbye" (chill mix); Blufeld, "For the Fallen" (original mix)


	25. A Tour of Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is out and about in Polis with Lexa.

The city surrounded Clarke with color, sound, smells, and a vibrancy she wasn’t used to seeing since she came to the ground. All manner of wares filled the marketplace, hawked by merchants from clans Clarke had only heard about prior to this. She heard drums and what sounded like pipes, intermingling in an upbeat melody, but she wasn’t sure where the musicians were.

Laughter and conversations assailed her as they moved past the vendors, but all around her were shouts of recognition for Lexa, and more often than not, cheers. And always, Lexa returned the greetings, even stopping a few times to chat with people and, to Clarke’s surprise, children. She had never envisioned Lexa around children, because she’d never seen it, but here she was, crouched down talking earnestly with a young girl who hung on her every word. Yet another layer of the Commander that Clarke hadn’t known existed.

“She is of the Lake People,” Lexa said after the girl scampered away. “ _Podakru_. 1 Her family traveled to Polis to sell carvings.”

Clarke was about to respond when a man called from a nearby table on which several knives were displayed. “ _Heda_ , _chek em au_.” 2 He made a flourish over them with his hand and grinned. He was missing one of his front teeth.

Lexa gave Clarke a little shrug and half-smile and the people clumped nearby made room for her to approach the table. She spent a few moments visually inspecting the knives before she motioned at one on the left, with a straight blade about seven inches long and a plain hilt of smooth dark wood.

“Ah. Excellent choice.” He picked it up and handed it to her hilt-first.

She showed it to Clarke, who nodded. “It’s beautiful.”

The hint of a smile hovered at the corner of Lexa’s mouth as she hefted the knife. Then, with flicks of her wrist, she twirled it, its position shifting with each new grip she took on the hilt, barely discernible because of the speed of her fingers. The crowd cheered appreciatively while Clarke stared.

“ _Beja_ , _Heda_.” The knife vendor motioned to his right, at a large space that held three vertical blocks of wood of varying heights and widths and set at varying distances from a heavy canvas backdrop. Each had been painted with several white circles of different sizes, the larger ones full of nicks and marks, the smaller hardly at all. Clearly, the vendor allowed potential buyers to actually try his wares.

“ _Tu_?” 3 Lexa said.

The vendor beamed. “ _Sha_. _Sad moun op_.” 4

A larger group of people had gathered, all apparently intensely interested in which knives Lexa chose. She motioned at another one toward the back of the table. The blade was half the length of the one she held and the hilt was, again, a plain dark wood. The vendor was only too happy to hand it to her and this one, too, she hefted and then twirled as she had the first. The smaller knife she held in her left hand and the larger in her right.

Two children who had wormed their way to the front of the crowd watched, spellbound, as Lexa worked the knives in her hands and Clarke was sure she had the same wide-eyed expression. The crowd moved so Lexa could step over to the makeshift throwing range and Clarke guessed that some of the comments that accompanied her were bets, but from the laughter and grins all around, they were made in fun.

Lexa took a position nearly backed against a vendor’s table across the way, about twenty feet from the farthest target. She didn’t remove her coat, and she had stopped working the knives with her hands.

“Which one?” she asked the crowd, gesturing with her head toward the makeshift targets.

“The farthest, _Heda_ ,” several responded and Lexa smiled and threw the knives one after the other in smooth, quick motions that Clarke couldn’t follow. The crowd cheered and she looked at the wood blocks. The smaller of the two knives was embedded near the center of the smallest circle on the wood farthest from Lexa while the larger was in the circle just above it, nearly identically placed. Several people cheered and held their hands out, palms up, to those next to them, for a currency exchange.

“Again?” The vendor urged and the crowd urged her on as one of her guards retrieved the knives from the targets. For the next few minutes, Lexa and her guards displayed their knife throwing skills, but it was Lexa who drew the most attention. In one display, she armed herself with six knives and threw them in quick succession, never missing, flowing from step to step like a dancer. She drew knives from her belt and launched them in motions as liquid as water, completely focused on her targets. Clarke watched, riveted by Lexa’s skill. This aspect of the Commander had been years in the making, forged in rigors of training and discipline and, Clarke realized, duty. The crowd cheered even more and the vendor beamed.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said as she placed the knives back on the table, away from the others.

“ _Heda_ , _yu don’s krei sisfou_.” 5 He gestured with his head at three people who were inspecting his knives with what appeared to be an intent to buy. He then picked up the smaller knife that Lexa had been using and held it out, hilt-first, to Clarke. “ _Mochof_ , _Wanheda_. _Maun-de don hon ai bro daun._ _Beja_ , _yu teik em in_.” 6

The people standing closest to the table immediately went silent at the mention of _Wanheda_ and Clarke stiffened.

“He lost his brother to the mountain,” Lexa said. “He wants you to accept his gift of the knife.”

It would no doubt be bad form not to do as he requested, so she nodded at him and smiled. “ _Mochof, swismeika_ ,”7 as she took the proferred hilt.

He smiled back, his mustache moving with the motion of his lips.

 _“Heda_ , _ai koma yu op_.” 8 He picked the other knife up that Lexa had used and held it out to her.

“ _Mochof_ , _Mika kom Trikru_. _Mika swis ste os_. _Ai na lan em op_.” 9

He beamed as she took the knife and slid it into her belt, a demonstration of the worth of his gift. Clarke did the same with her new knife and the crowd murmured approvingly. Lexa stepped away from the table, her guards surrounding both her and Clarke when a young woman pushed through and faced Clarke.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” she said.

Clarke stopped and waited, glad for Lexa’s presence.

“ _Maun-de don hon ai nomon op_. _Yu don hod Maunon op_ , _osir na nou hon moun daun_. _Mochof_.” 10

“She thanks you,” Lexa said, “because the mountain took her mother and you put a stop to it.”

The woman stared at Clarke, expression cautious but resolute, and Clarke nodded at her and extended her hand, tentative. Amidst murmurs of surprise, she gripped Clarke’s forearm, smiled, and ducked away. The crowd parted for them, and Clarke felt the light touches of fingers on her shoulders and arms as she passed, surrounded by murmurs of “ _Wanheda,_ ” but she didn’t shy away, though her discomfort with the role remained. She exhaled in relief once they left the confines of the marketplace and emerged into a wide street that gave them a little more room to move.

“Polis is amazing,” Clarke said to Lexa as they walked. “I wish I had seen it sooner.”

“Mmm. You might not have appreciated it if that were the case.”

She was right. “I see your point.”

Lexa looked at her, amusement in her eyes. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_ , are you admitting that I am right?”

“ _Heda_ knows many things,” she responded with a shrug, and was rewarded with a soft chuckle and a smile. What Clarke wouldn’t give to be able to capture that smile somehow, and carry it close and keep it safe.

They worked their way to other streets, and Lexa continued to serve as guide, a role she clearly enjoyed, which added to Clarke’s desire to unwrap another of Lexa’s layers, and let it settle over her like a warm blanket. And no matter who stopped her to chat, she gave them her full attention, always welcoming, always patient. She, too, was stopped and thanked dozens of times for what she had done at the mountain, but she still couldn’t reconcile the deaths there with the gratitude here. Not yet.

After a while, her head started to hurt and she rubbed her forehead as they walked, uncertain where they were but when she moved her hand and looked up, she realized they were walking across the plaza that surrounded the tower.

“You are welcome to go anywhere in Polis you wish,” Lexa said. “Wash will accompany you.”

“Thanks, but I think I should rest a bit.”

Lexa didn’t respond, but Clarke read her body language.

“Yes, _Heda_ , you’re right again. I’m tired,” she said, punctuating the statement with an exaggerated sigh.

“This is a momentous day. We should perhaps mark the occasion with some sort of festival.” Her tone was sonorous, but the sparkle in her eyes was anything but.

Clarke glanced at the guards, who remained stone-faced, but she thought she saw the corner of Wash’s mouth twitch.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” said a familiar voice behind them. She turned, surprised.

“Zander,” she said. “I’m so glad to see you.”

His grin was so wide she worried he might hurt himself. “I saw you at the marketplace, but I could not leave just yet.” He then seemed to remember who Clarke’s company was, because he immediately bowed his head. “ _Heda_. You are keeping her safe. _Mochof_.”

The warriors relaxed, but they remained close to Lexa.

“ _Zander kom Trikru_ , it is I perhaps who should thank you. Without your help, _Klark kom Skaikru_ might not be with us in Polis. I would not have known where to look.”

He stared at her, wide-eyed. “It is my honor to aid you, _Heda_. And my honor to aid _Wanheda_.” He stumbled with the English, but his sincerity was clear.

“ _Mochof_ , Zander,” Clarke said. “And I must also thank Niylah.”

“She sends a message,” he said. “This is why I followed you. The message is for you and _Heda_. She says that many more _Azgeda_ have used the trading stop since you left.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, who then spoke to him in Trigedasleng. Clarke picked up some of it, but not enough to understand completely.

“Niylah is well,” Lexa said to her. “But there are many _Azgeda_ in the area. She spoke with two _Trikru_ about the matter, but she was not certain when they would return to Polis. She knew Zander was coming to help his family at the market, so she told him to find me.” She said something to Wash in Trigedasleng then turned back to Zander.

“Is Niylah at the trading stop now?”

He nodded. “She says it is dangerous for her to leave. But _Heda_ , I think it is dangerous for her to stay.”

Lexa gently clasped his shoulder. “ _Ai gona ai raun_. _Nou get yu daun_.” 11

He nodded, and the worry in his eyes decreased.

“If you have more messages for me, bring them.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Mochof_.” He bowed his head to her and to Clarke then retreated, waving, until he was swallowed in a group of people making its way down an adjoining street.

Clarke turned to Lexa. “You have warriors watching Niylah?”

“Yes.” She continued toward the tower and the guards fell into step with them. “Wash will send another scout soon.” Her gaze swept Clarke and lingered on her injured thigh. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s a little sore,” she admitted. “But I do want to see some of the competitions later.”

“Very well. Rest first.”

“If I do rest, will you teach me how to throw a knife?” She was only half-teasing.

Lexa gave her a look but didn’t reply as they entered the tower. Wash didn’t come with them and Lexa said something to another of the guards inside. Once on the lift, she cocked her head at her, as if sizing her up. “Yes,” she said. “I will.”

Clarke fought a smile and stared straight ahead, only too aware of the connection that arced between them. It scared her, because it was like a living, wild thing and she had no control over it, no control over the way it ran rampant through her thoughts and left fire in its tracks. Oh, this was a dangerous, dangerous place to be, on the sword’s edge of the Commander’s heart.

The lift stopped and Lexa accompanied Clarke to her door, where she stopped and clasped her hands together at her waist. “Balta will come soon, with a meal.”

“And no doubt to check my wounds. Thank you.”

“Thank _you_ for allowing me to show you some of Polis.”

She smiled. “It was truly amazing, and I’m grateful for your time.” She opened the door, every part of her burning within.

“Inform the guard when you’re ready to join me. She will accompany you.”

“Okay.” She turned to enter her quarters.

“Clarke.”

She looked at her.

“I do not require conditions to teach you what you wish to learn.”

She held Lexa’s gaze longer than was necessary, longer than was surely proper, with her guards standing there in the corridor with her. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_. I’ll see you later this evening.”

Lexa inclined her head, and returned to the lift. Clarke entered her quarters and leaned against the door for a moment, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down. This was no place to be, this untraveled landscape between them, on the eve of negotiations for an alliance. No place to be, in the midst of political machinations for the fate of a coalition of clans. No place to be, but as she moved away from the door, she knew it was the _only_ place she wanted to be.

  
1 _Podakru_ : Lake People  
2 _Heda_ , _chek em au_ : Heda, have a look  
3 _Tu_? Two? (Lexa is asking the knife maker if she can use two of his knives.)  
4 _Sha_. _Sad moun op_ : Yes. Pick another.  
5 _Heda_ , _yu don’s krei sisfou_ : Heda, you have helped me a lot. (Mika notes that she has brought more business to his table.)  
6 _Mochof_ , _Wanheda_. _Maun-de don hon ai bro daun._ _Beja_ , _yu teik em in_ : Thank you, Wanheda. The mountain took my brother. Please, take this. (Mika recognizes Clarke. He tells her that he lost his brother to the mountain, and he offers her one of the knives Lexa was using as a gift.)  
7 _Mochof, swismeika_ *: Thank you, knife-maker. (here, Clarke combines “knife” and “hand,” which is derived from “maker.” I went with it, though Peterson doesn’t seem to use this construction.)  
8 _Heda_ , _ai koma yu op_ : Heda, I honor you  
9 _Mochof_ , _Mika kom Trikru_. _Mika swis ste os_. _Ai na lan em op_ : Thank you, Mika of/from Trikru. Mika’s knives are good/the best. I will use it.  
10 _Maun-de don hon ai nomon op_. _Yu don hod Maunon op_ , _osir na nou hon moun daun_. _Mochof_ : The mountain took my mother. You stopped the Mountain Men, [and] we will no longer be captured/taken. Thank you.  
11 _Ai gona ai raun_. _Nou get yu daun_ : My warriors watch. Don’t worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a chapter I did to give us a break of sorts from political intrigue. HOWEVER, it might not be a break, because Lexa is only too aware of the value in taking Wanheda into the populace and drumming up a bit of popularity for her and Skaikru.
> 
> Here, we get to see some of Lexa's other skills and because I wanted to evoke a sense of authenticity in the marketplace, we've got a lot of Trigedasleng going on, but you should be able to figure it out without having to go to the end, from the context of the dialogue. It's something I'm tinkering with, finding a balance between too much and too little. Here, we've got much more than in other chapters, but I think you all should be okay. Heh.
> 
> So THANK YOU to all of you who are accompanying me on this trip, and thanks to all who leave kudos and comments. I try to respond to the latter as soon as I can, but sometimes I'm doing recon in the forests around Arkadia and don't always get to it. It's not cuz I don't luuuuuv you. It's cuz there is shit to do in those forests, and we have to plan accordingly. You can also hit me up on the Twitterz: @andimarquette
> 
> This was a fun chapter to write, and here are a few songs that hung out with me during it: Broods, "Heartlines"; Sam Feldt, Lucas & Steve, "Summer on You"; Fancy Reagan, "Knock Me Out"


	26. An Evening of Contests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the evening of Lexa's warrior contests, that will also be used as a diversion for Calla to "escape." Lexa also gets news from the trading stop and she and Titus have a somewhat uncomfortable conversation.

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa turned at Wash’s approach. Behind her the clang of weapons and the grunts and shouts of those who wielded them near the guardhouse continued.

“Tam has returned from the trading stop. It is as the boy said. Many _Azgeda_ , who appear to be using it as a staging area.”

“And Niylah?”

“They seem to be leaving her alone for now.”

“Did Tam speak with her?”

“Yes. Niylah worries for the safety of the boy, and for Polis.”

Lexa nodded. “I would speak with Tam.”

“ _Sha_.” Wash retreated and Lexa turned back to the initial rounds of the competition. Nia was moving her forces to places that would make it easy for her to launch attacks on both Polis and Arkadia, should she decide to do so. Lexa had already moved warriors into the vicinity of the trading stop, but in a way that they would not be seen as warriors. Subterfuge was something all learned when training for Lexa’s armies.

She clasped her hands behind her back, watching the weapons play. The message from the council of clans would arrive at _Azgeda_ the following afternoon and Nia would come to Polis, Lexa knew, because she would wish to attempt to humiliate her in some way. If Calla managed to pass the falsified document to Nia prior to that, it would assure Lexa another gamepiece.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said as he joined her. “The fish has taken the bait.”

“Mmm. Where is she now?”

“Still in her cell. She will stay until the attempt to storm the tower.”

“And Gonin?”

“Worried.”

“He may still be useful to us.”

“ _Sha_.” He cleared his throat.

She waited for him to continue, watching a particularly skilled warrior as he disarmed a third opponent.

“There is recent talk that _Klark kom Skaikru_ is popular with many in the city.” He watched the warriors rather than her. “Some of the talk has reached the clan representatives.”

“With what results?”

“It is too soon to tell, but I will continue to explore this development.”

“ _Mochof_.” She knew he would not yet tell her that taking Clarke on a tour of Polis was a good idea in spite of his warnings, but once he had determined how revised perceptions of Clarke and, by extension, _Skaikru_ rippled among the representatives, he would concede her point. Provided, of course, that she had been right.

“Krio requested to see Jos, that he could assure Nia that she is well.”

Lexa looked at him. “When did he make this request?”

“Just before I left to join you here. It might be best that he not see her before he rides to _Azgeda_.”

“Mmm.” Lexa ran her fingers along the hilt of her new knife. “No, let him see her. Tomorrow. Jos will make an appearance before the scouts leave.”

“In what capacity?”

Lexa pondered. “Remove her from her cell tonight, after the tower exercise. Tell her nothing until you arrive at her quarters.”

“And then?”

“Only that she will be taken at first light to see Krio off to _Azgeda_. I want her hands bound for that. And I want her gagged.”

“ _Sha_. I go to prepare the tower.”

“ _Mochof_.”

He bowed his head and moved away, seeming to glide in his robe across the hard-packed earth. Shadows lengthened as evening encroached on the day’s warmth and Lexa thought again of Clarke, though she wasn’t ever far from her thoughts. Something had changed between them, something that she couldn’t name but that flowed like a river through an underground cavern, and she was caught in its current, pulled inexorably to some as yet unknown place.

But then, she had always been caught in it, from the moment Clarke entered her tent for the first time and met her gaze. This was not a place Lexa was used to being, this unarmored and unsteady terrain between her and someone who viewed her as both friend and foe.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said.

Lexa looked at her. Sweat ran down the side of her face and she was breathing heavily. She must have run from wherever Wash had found her. “You have news of the trading stop.”

“ _Sha_. _Azgeda_ is using it as a staging area. Nia is moving more warriors to the area, in groups of ten and fifteen, but she staggers them. A few are in _Trikru_ territory, but many are not.”

Lexa withheld her grimace. Nia could claim that she did not realize her warriors had breached the boundary. “How many at each encampment?”

“No more than ten.”

Nia could thus claim they were scouts and not a full force. “What do the _Azgeda_ warriors tell Niylah?”

Tam made a disgusted noise in her throat. “Military exercises.”

“Are _Trikru_ warriors in position?”

“ _Sha_. It appears the _Azgeda_ warriors wait. Perhaps Nia wishes to continue to pursue an alliance with _Skaikru_ and once she has that assurance—” Tam shrugged, and her meaning was clear. Nia would challenge Lexa, whether through an attack on Polis or a threat of it.

“How is Niylah?”

“She is worried. I assured her that we were watching.”

“Mmm. Tomorrow Krio returns to _Azgeda_ with a message to Nia. The clan council sends scouts with him.”

“What message?”

“The clan council wishes an accounting regarding Nia’s actions with _Skaikru_.”

Tam went silent, considering.

“I want them followed. Take three others. Stay hidden. If Krio does not stay on task, kill him. If any of the scouts do not stay on task, bring them to me. Use any means necessary.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa nodded at her and Tam turned and jogged back toward the tower, adjusting her path to accommodate the groups of people that gathered to watch the competitions. The four warriors charged with accompanying her this evening appeared to be watching the weapons play, but they had positioned themselves in ways that would have prevented attacks on her, even from arrows, and she knew that their attention was on her, though it did not appear to be. What would it be like to spend her time without a guard, to not have to think about the ramifications of her position?

Her thoughts turned again to Clarke, and as surprised as she was that a new channel appeared to have opened between them, it was not safe—for either of them—to nurture it. But then again, she thought, her fingers resting on the hilt of her newest knife, warriors sometimes took chances.

“ _Heda_ , _Klark kom Skaikru ste kom op_ ,”1 one of her guards said, and he gestured with his chin toward the tower, a couple hundred yards distant.

“ _Sis em au_.” 2

“ _Sha_.” He met Clarke and her guard halfway between Lexa and the tower and took a position behind them.

“Clarke,” Lexa said by way of greeting. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Heda_ ,” she said in return. “Rested.” She smiled and Lexa nodded. Clarke wore her new knife in her belt sheath, and Lexa approved. The smaller knife was a better blade for learning to throw.

“Good. I am at your service, _Klark kom Skaikru_. Which contests would you like to watch?”

“I defer to your judgment.”

She nodded and motioned Clarke first toward the swords and staff contests where a huge young man was having a difficult time with a woman half his size. She finally managed to disarm him completely, to the cheers of those gathered.

“Size and strength do not always determine a fight,” Lexa said, and the crowd quieted. “ _How_ you use what you have can be more important than _what_ you use.” She motioned at a tall young man who held a fighting staff. He stepped forward, a little awed.

“ _Heda_.” He nodded.

She approached and the crowd cleared a space. “ _Jomp em op_ ,” Lexa said, without drawing any weapons. He dropped into a fighting stance then launched himself at her. He was fast, but Lexa easily dodged. He attacked again, swinging the staff in tight arcs that would have hurt had they connected. But Lexa moved faster, always out of reach. He doubled his efforts, which only left him panting. He then tried a series of complicated steps and motions and brought the staff down like an axe. Lexa caught it with both hands, twisted, and disarmed him.

“ _Os_ ,” she said to him. “ _Ai op_.” 3 She then slowly walked through an attack, making sure he saw how her hands were positioned on the staff and where she placed her feet. She handed the staff back. “ _Kigon_.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

She motioned for the activities to continue and watched for a few moments.

“When did you begin training?”

Lexa turned to Clarke. “I was still a child. Very young. Leaders must know how to wield many weapons.” She looked back at the combatants.

“Does everyone train as a warrior?”

“No. But all children learn how to defend themselves. Come.” She walked to another area near the guardhouse where people were engaged in hand-to-hand combat, Clarke at her side, guards all around them. “All children learn basic skills like this, whether they are trained as warriors or not.” She regarded Clarke, who was watching the fights with interest.

“You told me once that I thought your ways were harsh,” Clarke said after a while, “and that it was what you had to do to survive.”

“Yes.” They were words she would never forget, because after she had spoken them, she had acted on something she never thought she would feel again in her lifetime. The memory of Clarke’s lips against hers was seared forever into her consciousness.

“I understand what you meant.” She turned her gaze to Lexa’s. “But it’s not all that you are. Not even close.” And with just a few words and a look, Clarke disarmed her again, and Lexa was once again at her mercy in the current that pulsed between them, once again lost in the depths of her eyes.

A junior warrior jogged up to her. “ _Heda_ , Titus wishes you to know that the tower siege is soon to begin.”

Lexa broke the eye contact with Clarke and nodded. The guard ran back toward the tower.

“How often do you have this kind of training situation?”

“I ensure it is at least once a season.”

“So what decides who wins?” Clarke asked.

“The invading warriors must take the lift.”

Clarke looked toward the tower and frowned. “What’s to stop an invading force from climbing up the sides?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows. “We shall see if the defenders took that into consideration. Do you wish to watch?”

“Absolutely.”

She half-smiled and started walking, Clarke beside her. Twilight enveloped this side of the tower, and some of the senior warriors were lighting torches near the entrance. All appeared as it should before full nightfall. Lexa took a position that gave her a view of the entrance but also into the corridor beyond, which led to the lift. Crowds had gathered, making a direct line of sight difficult, but if they shifted with the crowd, they’d be able to see a lot of the activity.

Above the noise of the various conversations came the sounds of raucous singing, drifting from the edge of the plaza, near the street to the marketplace. More than a few voices, raised in what sounded like drunken revelry. The singing increased in volume as it approached, until Lexa counted three men stumbling through the crowd, followed by expressions of displeasure.

One pushed his way to the tower entrance and announced in Trigedasleng that he had the best view, and where were the soldiers? Lexa translated for Clarke.

“Is this part of the exercise?” Clarke asked.

“Possibly. Or it may not be. On competition day, some do indulge a bit too much.”

A guard at the entrance spoke in a low voice to the drunk, and he gently pushed him away. The drunk raised his voice, belligerent, and the guard gripped his arm and pulled him forcefully away from the entrance.

The drunk man said something and grabbed his crotch in a lewd manner. Several in the crowd laughed and the guard shook his head in disgust and returned to the entrance, only to be accosted again by the drunk. This time, the guard requested help from his fellows and at that moment, ten people separated from the crowd and engaged them with swords.

“Wow,” Clarke said. “Good diversion.”

Within seconds, warriors poured from the tower and the guardhouse while opposing forces appeared from within the crowd and the battle was on outside the tower entrance. Lexa’s guards moved them a few meters away when a shout sounded near the side of the tower that faced the street toward the marketplace.

“Someone climbs,” Lexa said, gesturing at the tower wall.

But the forces inside had prepared, and warriors on the ground caught and disarmed several before they’d gotten far. A few were out of reach, and soldiers positioned inside hauled them within.

“Okay, I’m impressed,” Clarke said. “The defenders did some preparation.”

“The battle is far from over.” The crowd milled around, moving out of the way of warriors engaged in fights, then moving again to accommodate another. Cheers and shouts added to the scene, and at one point opposing forces surged through the tower entrance only to be rebuffed by a furious counterattack from the rear. Lexa nodded, pleased at the display, and also pleased at the chaos, which would provide plenty of cover for Calla.

Though it seemed like hours, the battle ended minutes later when a muted cheer went up from inside the tower and the defenders emerged victorious. The attackers melted into the crowd, pursued into the city.

Clarke scanned the crowd. “What’s going on?”

“The training moves into the city. There are a set number of warriors to be captured.”

She stared at her in surprise. “So this goes on all night?”

“It depends. Sometimes it goes on until dawn. Other times, the opposing warriors are captured quickly.”

“Four times a year, this happens?”

“Not the city exercise. That happens much less often.”

Wash pushed his way through the crowd. “ _Heda_. Titus would like to speak with you in the meeting room.”

She turned to Clarke. “I would prefer that you not go into the city this night.” She phrased it more as a request than an order.

“That’s fine,” she said with a smile and Lexa relaxed.

“Wash, please accompany _Klark kom Skaikru_ to her quarters. You as well,” she said to one of her other guards.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” The guard moved next to Clarke.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said to Lexa. She looked as if she wanted to say something more, but didn’t and instead fell into step with Wash as he led her back toward the tower. Darkness had fallen over the plaza, which would provide cover for Calla, but also for the scouts Lexa had enlisted to follow her. The sounds of revelry echoed over the city as the crowds near the tower dispersed. Satisfied, she returned to the tower and took the lift to the meeting room floor.

Titus waited, standing at the open balcony doors as he watched the city. “ _Heda_ ,” he said when she joined him. “The fish has escaped the net.”

“Because you ensured that the net was cut.” She stared across the city, and at the flickers of torchlight that moved through the night.

“The tower defenders do not hunt the attackers. That was a good plan. It appears that there is a training exercise, but all forces are prepared should _Azgeda_ attempt to capitalize.”

“I sent word of current developments to Indra.”

He grunted softly in acknowledgement and contined to gaze at the city below. “It might be wise to have assurances from _Skaikru_ of at least an alliance before Nia responds to the council’s request.”

“Yes. Once Kane arrives, we will begin negotiations.”

He turned to her. “Clarke has been given power to represent _Skaikru_. Might she override Kane, should he not support terms?”

“If she feels that the terms are fair and benefit _Skaikru_ , it is possible that she would.” Clarke would always do what she thought was best for her people, but she would also take into consideration the interests of other parties in an alliance. “She will compromise if she feels it is necessary to move forward.”

“You seem certain of her motives.” It wasn’t an accusation or challenge. It was Titus’ way of pushing her to think about other possibilities.

“Clarke understands the value of an alliance for _Skaikru_. Her primary motivation is always what is best for her people.” She clasped her hands behind her back and watched the torchlight below, gauging the location of each flicker in the city. Calla should be outside the walls by now.

“Revenge is also a powerful motivator.”

“Yes. But it’s not what is driving her to agree to an alliance.”

“Is it not possible that were _Skaikru_ to agree to clan status that they might attempt to challenge the Commander?”

“That is always a possibility, regardless of who makes the alliance. That is why we must ensure that the bonds are strong, and that they benefit all of us. Satisfied people do not seek retribution.”

He didn’t respond.

“You taught me that,” she said.

“ _Skaikru_ is not like the other clans. In some ways, they are much like the _Maunon_ , and use their tech to enforce their wishes.”

“Another reason to keep them close.”

He smiled. “They may be useful against Nia in that regard.”

She shrugged. “I have no interest in sending _Skaikru_ and their tech after Nia. That will only create sympathy for her. I seek to remove her claws, and an alliance with _Skaikru_ will help.”

“There are those among _Skaikru_ who wish us dead.”

“Just as there are those among the clans who wish the same upon them. Things are different now, since _Skaikru_ came to the ground. We cannot ignore it and pretend otherwise. Nor can we allow the space left by the _Maunon_ to be filled by either Nia or _Skaikru_. Alliances are not always about benefit. As you have said, they are also about control.”

He nodded, and an expression of pride crossed his normally placid features. “You have learned well, _Heda_.”

“You taught well.” He had been in her life for years, since she first arrived at Polis for Conclave training. She had watched him with the previous Commander, and figured out quickly that this was a man she needed to cultivate and understand, and not only because of his role as _Fleimkepa_. 4 Titus had years of wisdom, and though she found his views rigid in some ways, his loyalty to her never wavered.

“Clarke’s motives are not in question,” she said after a while. “ _Skaikru_ ’s are another matter. Clarke may speak for her people, and she may enter an alliance and eventually a _kongeda_ with the clans, but her people structure themselves differently than we do. If they have a strong Chancellor who supports the _kongeda_ , then we can begin the work of winning them all to it.” She caught the scent of the forest beyond the walls, borne on a night breeze and she checked on the torchlight below. The warriors had fanned out throughout the city, ostensibly participating in an exercise though what they were really doing was patrolling, watching for _Azgeda_.

“It would seem _Skaikru_ currently lacks such a Chancellor.”

“ _Abi kom Skaikru_ allows her temper to interfere with decisions. It does not make her weak. It does, however, leave her flank open to well-placed attacks on her leadership. Kane is better-suited to the position, and he has the ear of many among _Skaikru_. Plus, he has come to a better understanding of us and seeks peace. Perhaps Abby will come to see this and grant him leadership.”

Titus grunted softly. “Is Indra watching Arkadia?”

“Of course. She is aware that there are those who would rather see us dead than ally. While Kane is in Polis, Abby is without his guidance. I seek to fill that space while he is here with Indra and Bellamy, who has Clarke’s ear.”

“Do you trust Bellamy?”

“He trusts Clarke, and will do what she thinks is best.”

He looked out over the city. “Do you trust _Klark kom Skaikru_?”

The question fell between them heavily, like a stone into water whose ripples would have far-reaching effects. Lexa considered her next words carefully.

“I trust that she will do what she thinks is right for her people, and I trust that she has accepted an alliance as something that will aid _Skaikru_.”

Titus was silent for a moment. “She is not Costia,” he said softly.

She kept her eyes on the city below. “No one but Costia was Costia. Your point?” She kept her tone flat, but Titus would pick up on any nuances because he knew her that well.

“Clarke is a leader of her people. She has not yet accepted it, but she carries it in her blood just as you do in yours. Because she is in this position, she will always be a larger target than Costia was.” And look what happened to her, his statement seemed to suggest.

“Just as I am a target. Just as every leader is.”

“You are _Heda_ , leader of the twelve clans. Anyone who is closer to you than others becomes an even bigger target, and thus creates greater problems for you.”

“I am well aware of that.”

“ _Heda_ , I mean no disrespect. I do not pretend to understand the price you have paid for the loss of Costia,” he said. “I only wish to protect you from paying such a price again. This matter of an alliance and possible inclusion of _Skaikru_ in the _kongeda_ is not one for which you can afford distractions, especially where the _Skaikru_ representative is concerned.” Lexa heard the remonstration—gentle as it was—in his tone.

“I am well aware of the cost of my decisions, Titus.” Her statement left no room for further discussion.

He bowed his head, an acknowledgement that the conversation was finished. “Once I know more tomorrow about Calla’s whereabouts, I will inform you.”

“ _Mochof_.”

“ _Reshop_ , _Heda_.” 5 He left but Lexa continued to stare out over the city. She didn’t choose the emotions she harbored for Clarke, just as she didn’t choose what she had felt for Costia.

Poor Costia. Lexa had never burdened her with whatever secrets Nia had thought she had, because she thought it would protect her, even from Nia, who had never intended to release her. She had discovered the nature of Lexa’s relationship with her, and she used it. The worst pain to inflict on someone was to take a loved one. Nia knew that, and Lexa had been untested then, new to her role as _Heda_. Nia thought she was thus prone to missteps, and hoped to goad her into one.

But Lexa was already familiar with Nia’s methods. She had studied them during her training, just as she studied all the clans and their respective leadership. Even in the wake of Costia’s murder, in the midst of her grief and rage, Lexa knew not to respond in the way Nia expected. Instead, she planted spies among _Azgeda_ , and cultivated other clan leaders, patiently building confidence among them of her abilities as _Heda_ , patiently isolating Nia from them.

Until the mountain. In some ways, her agreement to forge an alliance to battle the _Maunon_ had weaked her position among the clans, who preferred an isolationist approach, especially with the arrival of _Skaikru_. And now Nia once again attempted to exploit what she saw as perceived weaknesses. But this time, Lexa had much more experience with leadership, and had weathered several tests. And this time, she was ready for Nia’s manipulations.

No, Lexa didn’t choose her feelings for Clarke. But she could choose how she responded to them. She closed the balcony doors and left, knowing full well that where Clarke was concerned, any resistance she might have would be sorely tested.

  
1 _Heda_ , _Klark kom Skaikru ste kom op_ : Heda, Clarke of/from Sky Crew is coming/arriving.   
2 _Sis em au: Assist her  
3 _Ai op: watch (as in, "watch me/this")  
4 _Fleimkepa_ : Flamekeeper (Titus’ official role as the keeper of the spirit of the Commander)   
5 _Reshop__ : Good night/rest up _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there! So hopefully, you're getting a sense of the Clexa feelz evolving, and how they both know something has changed between them, but neither is quite sure what to do about it. So they spend time with each other and they're more comfortable around each other, but the feelz seem to grow...uh-oh...
> 
> And, indeed, it does seem to have an effect on Clarke, who also ends up having a really good time, and she and Lexa share a bit of banter and have an all-too-brief moment in which Clarke recognizes that she does, in fact, have major building feelz for Lexa but she's not entirely comfortable with that yet, since this is the COMMANDER we're talking about, and Clarke's not stupid. She knows what happens to people who get too close to Lexa.
> 
> But we all know Clarke is willing to take risks. We'll see how that plays out...
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for hanging out with me this far! And there's EVEN MOAR TO COME! WTF! CRAZY! Thanks so much for your comments and kudos. I SO appreciate them! I try to respond to comments ASAP, but if I don't, please don't freak out. I'm spying for Lexa, and I'll be back in a bit. For realz, yo. I love talking about this, so I will get to it as soon as I can. And you can always hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> And here are a few tunes I listened to as I hung out in Lexa's head while writing this chapter: Constantin Clipa, "Magical Sights"; Mango, "Tokyo 7 AM" (original mix); Submotion Orchestra, Ed Thomas, "Empty Love" (GLXY remix)


	27. The Things We Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a convo with Balta and then gets a little downtime with Lexa.

“What happened to the _rippen_ that did this to you?” 1 Balta rubbed salve into the claw marks across Clarke’s back after she bathed, something she had been doing since Clarke’s arrival. This was the first time she had asked about them.

“I traded it to Niylah. Maybe people should call me _Rippenheda_.” 2

She chuckled. “You begin to look like us, with such scars.” She continued to rub, and it felt good.

Clarke lowered her forehead to her forearms, which rested on the table. “How long have you known _Heda_?” she asked.

“Since she came to Polis to begin training. I was a very young healer, but I was charged with patching up the _Natblida_ of the Conclave. Many times I was called to tend to _Heda_ ’s wounds.” She rubbed salve into other parts of Clarke’s back. “They were all children, the oldest barely nine summers, and all but _Heda_ complained. She never did, no matter the type of wound, and no matter the treatment I had to apply.”

Balta’s fingers moved to another spot on Clarke’s back, and she bit back a groan of relief.

“Did you know Costia?”

Balta’s fingers stopped. “Yes.”

“Was she part of the Conclave?”

“No.” Her fingers started again, pressing into a stiff muscle near her left shoulderblade. Clarke bit her lip because it hurt, but it also felt good. “Costia was not _Natblida_ , though she was learning the skills of a warrior. She came from _Heda_ ’s village.”

“So they knew each other before Lexa came to Polis.”

“Yes. Let me see your arm.”

Clarke held up her right arm and pulled the sleeve back. A massive bruise marred her forearm, but its colors were fading into more yellows than the purples and blues of initial injury. It looked bad, but it didn’t hurt unless she moved her arm a certain way or bumped it against something.

“Mmm. It heals. You were lucky that your bone did not break.” She very gently applied some salve and Clarke winced. “You are like _Heda_ in some ways,” she said as she worked. “Neither of you complains about your wounds.” She flashed Clarke a smile.

“She might not. But I do.”

“No, _Klark kom Skaikru_. There is a difference between complaining and admitting when something causes you pain. The first offers no solution and seeks only attention. The second wishes to find an answer.”

“What if there is no answer?”

Balta dipped her fingertip into the salve and smeared another layer on Clarke’s arm. “Then we must seek acceptance within ourselves for things over which we have no power or that have already come to pass.”

Clarke winced again but allowed Balta to work. After she had finished with Clarke’s arm, she re-dressed her thigh then had her stand so she could inspect her ribs.

“You are healing here, as well.”

“Because of you.”

Balta smiled. “Your spirit is strong.” She gently rubbed salve into the bruise on the skin over her ribs. “ _Heda_ sees this in you, and she sees the leader you are. This is why she has chosen the path of alliance with _Skaikru_.”

Clarke froze, surprised that Balta would say such a thing.

“You are called to leadership.” Balta straightened. “You were born to it, just as _Heda_. Your spirit calls you to such. _Heda_ understands this about you, though you have not accepted it yet.”

She wondered if Balta meant that Clarke hadn’t accepted her own leadership abilities or the fact that Lexa already had. Maybe both. “I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

“Yes. It is part of your spirit, and it is part of what guides you. It will also be the part of you that calls to others to follow. And there are many who will.” She took Clarke’s chin and moved her head to look at her lip. “This heals very well.” Her fingertip rested at the corner of Clarke’s mouth and she remembered Lexa’s touch, and how gentle she was in the forest, cleaning the blood away. She swallowed.

“There is strength in unity,” Balta said as she released Clarke’s chin. “There are many among my people and yours who are not ready to see this, though _Heda_ is. As are you. Together, perhaps you can change it.” She smiled. “I will be back with your food.” She left before Clarke responded, though she wasn’t gone long and after she finished eating, Balta lit several candles and stacked the dishes on the tray. Lexa must have trusted her completely, because no one tested the food when Balta brought it.

“Do you require anything else this evening?” she asked.

“No. _Mochof_.”

“I do not know when _Heda_ will return, but she will check on you.”

“Maybe. I’m sure she needs to get some rest, too.”

“ _Heda_ always checks on you,” Balta said, and it sounded like she was teasing, but her expression didn’t indicate such. “ _Reshop_ , Clarke.” She left with the tray of dishes and Clarke got up and went out on the balcony. Torchlight moved around the city, like what she imagined fireflies might look like. Faint laughter drifted on the breeze.

She sat down, back against the wall, and stared up at the sky. She’d spent most of her life looking down on the planet from the Ark, and wondering what it would be like to see a blue sky, and what stars looked like from the Earth’s surface. Never could she have seen herself where she was now. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Here, she was more alive than she’d ever been on the Ark, and she understood why Grounders fought so hard to survive, and why they were able to be in each moment, because each was precious in a world like this.

After a while, Clarke stretched out on her back and pillowed her head with her uninjured arm as she watched the sky. The balcony’s wooden surface was cool beneath her shirt, but it felt good, and reminded her where she was, here in the heart of Polis. Her dad would have loved the ground, she thought as she stroked the band of the watch that hung around her neck. He would already have a huge collection of soil and water samples, and he would be working with Farm Station to figure out what vegetables to grow. He might even be Chancellor.

A tear slid out of her eye, and ran down along the side of her face to her ear. It had been a long time since she’d thought of him in this way, without the image of his last moments alive. From somewhere below, she picked up the sounds of drums and flutes and what might have been stringed instruments. Night air served as an amplifier.

She closed her eyes again, the watch still in her hand, and thought of Lexa, and how different the past few days had been, being around her. The memory of Lexa’s lips on hers weeks ago still brought heat to her skin, and thoughts of her pressed close recently only added fire. She sank into the memories of the night before and drifted on the connection she felt between them, aware of the danger in it but needing it nonetheless.

A hint of spice teased her nose. Clarke opened her eyes. “Lexa?”

“I’m here,” she said softly as she sat down near Clarke’s head, her back against the wall. She stretched her legs out and Clarke moved and put her head on Lexa’s thigh, an automatic and natural motion and it didn’t occur to her not to do it until the moment after.

“Is this okay?” she asked, peering up at her face.

“Yes.”

She relaxed. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Clearly,” Lexa said, in the tone she used when she teased.

Clarke stretched her left arm out to alleviate the cramp in her shoulder, since she’d been using that arm as a pillow before Lexa arrived. The moon had risen and its light caressed the lines of Lexa’s face and spilled down the part of her neck that was visible in the loose shirt she wore. Like the night before, she had dispensed with the trappings of Commander, but even without them, she radiated a quiet strength and assurance. Her hair fell around her shoulders and Clarke tried not to stare. She was not successful.

“Are the competitions still going on?” She fought an urge to touch Lexa’s lips, to press her mouth to hers and sink into the heat and warmth she knew she’d find there.

“Not at the guard house. But in the city, there are still a few things that continue.”

“I heard music.”

“Yes. It only recently stopped.”

“From what I could tell up here, I liked it.”

Lexa chuckled, a soft, almost sultry sound. “So tell me, does _Skaikru_ make it a habit to find the most uncomfortable places to sleep?”

“It’s not uncomfortable anymore,” Clarke said, and she gently poked Lexa’s thigh. “Besides, I like looking at the sky, especially when I can be outside to do it.” She focused on the moon. “I used to watch the ground from the Ark. My dad wanted to go, and thought it might have been long enough after the bombs that we could survive whatever radiation was still down here.”

She lapsed into silence. They’d all been genetically engineered to withstand the radiation of space, after all, and that was made clear at Mt. Weather, when treatments using Sky Crew blood and marrow proved far better than Grounder. But there was no way she could have proposed an alliance with the mountain that would have helped either group. Cage would never have accepted one. The only thing he wanted was what could be extracted from Sky Crew, and it didn’t matter to him that the people who harbored it died.

Maybe in some way, Lexa had known that. And maybe she believed enough in Clarke that she knew that Sky Crew would prevail. She hadn’t considered that perspective.

“I think my dad would have liked it here,” she said after a while and she angled her head to look at Lexa. “He would have liked Polis.”

“And you?”

“I like it. A lot.” She moved her hand until it brushed Lexa’s, where it rested in her lap, near Clarke’s head. She gently tugged until Lexa lifted her hand up and Clarke interlocked their fingers and held both their hands against her chest, above her heart. Lexa stiffened, but Clarke didn’t let go. Beneath their fingers, her heart pounded and she wondered if Lexa could feel it. She found herself hoping so. “I see you differently here.”

Lexa went completely still. “I am always _Heda_ , Clarke,” she said softly, almost apologetic. “Always.”

“I know.”

“That will never change.”

She looked up at her. “You’re always Lexa, too. I didn’t really see that or understand it until I came here.”

Lexa gazed down at her, and even in the moonlight Clarke saw myriad emotions in her eyes that she did nothing to mask. Clarke smiled, both charged and contented, and adjusted her head on Lexa’s thigh. The night air slid over her skin, but she scarcely noticed because Lexa’s presence heated every part of her in ways she had never expected.

“Clarke,” Lexa said after a protracted silence, “Balta will not be pleased with either of us if she knows you spent the night out here.”

She groaned softly. “All right.” She got up, Lexa helping. Once on her feet, she moved stiffly inside. Behind her, Lexa closed the doors then faced her. “You should sleep. Kane will most likely arrive tomorrow.” And then begins the work, her tone seemed to say.

Clarke wasn’t ready to think about that yet. She nodded and fought a brief battle within. One side won, though it wasn’t really much of a contest. “Please stay.”

Lexa regarded her, a mixture of what might have been relief and caution in the shifting green of her eyes. “Does it help you for me to be here?”

“Yes.”

“And this is what you want?”

“Yes,” she said, unequivocal.

“Very well. I’ll return shortly.”

Clarke watched her leave then washed up and put on a baggy shirt she’d been sleeping in, as well as another pair of shorts Balta had created for her. She blew out most of the candles and climbed into bed, heart thudding hard against her ribs. What was she doing? What was either of them doing? The door opened then clicked shut and Clarke didn’t breathe until Lexa got in beside her and lay on her back, keeping space between them as she had the previous night. Again, Clarke breached it and this time, she carefully eased against her and slid her arm over her waist.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

“Yes.” Lexa’s fingers rested lightly on her arm and Clarke sighed and relaxed, her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

“The ghosts don’t bother me when you’re here,” she said. “I’m not sure what that means.” Or maybe she was and she just couldn’t articulate it. How could she talk about the way Lexa sank into her blood and moved through her veins with the beat of her heart, the way her touch burned all the way to her bones and soothed the aches in her soul? What words could truly capture that?

“We don’t need to try to understand right now,” Lexa said, and she gently squeezed Clarke’s arm. She said nothing more and Clarke listened to her breathe, exquisitely aware of all the points of physical contact between them, and the compression of time and space that brought them here, to this moment. It should have been strange, even unthinkable, this proximity to Lexa after all that had happened. Instead, the world had finally settled into its proper axis.

“Lexa.”

“Hmm?”

“Is this what _you_ want?”

She gently pulled her closer. “Yes, Clarke. It is.”

Clarke closed her eyes and smiled against her shoulder before she sank into sleep, secure in the arms of the Commander.

  
1 _rippen_ *: panther (I totes made this up; there is no term for panther or “big cat” in Peterson’s lexicon [yet], so I went with this, which I derived from the Trigedasleng verb “rip of”—tear off, rip off—since panthers are predators that can rip the meat off your bones.)   
2 _Rippenheda_ *: Panther/heda; literally, panther commander (made this one up too; here, Clarke once again combines two Trigedasleng terms as a joke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say that I really like Balta's character. I pretty much met her the same time you did, readers. I get a lot of strong/interesting characters who just show up as I'm writing, and they're pretty much usually right, so Balta stayed. I didn't even know what she looked like until Lexa opened that door and there she was, waiting, and her image popped into my head and I was all, "oh, I like you." And of course, she was all, "I know." LOL
> 
> So I told you that there would be Clexa feelz in Polis. You've gotten a bunch, but here are some more, and I enjoyed writing this scene because I like how Clarke and Lexa are allowing their connection to manifest.
> 
> I want to do a big SHOUT-OUT to all who have commented and left kudos. I SO appreciate you taking the time to not only read but to offer your thoughts. I'm honored and humbled that you've chosen to stick with me on this, and I hope you continue to do so. I may not get to your comments right away, but I will ASAP, so don't worry! As soon as I get in from guard duty in Polis, I'll get right on it. :) Also, you can find me/hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while sweating over this scene: ARIZONA, "Cross My Mind"; Kygo, Angus Stone, Julia Stone, "For What It's Worth"


	28. Lessons from the Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balta discovers Clarke's paintings, then takes her on a tour of the tower where Clarke sees Lexa teaching Novitiates. Then Clarke gets a little lesson in knife-throwing.

Clarke snapped awake and knew from the angle of the sunlight slanting across the floor that it was just past dawn. Lexa had already left, either a testament to how quiet she was or how well Clarke slept in her presence. The bed felt empty without her. Clarke buried her face in Lexa’s pillow, inhaled deeply, and got out of bed. She had just finished in the bathroom when she heard the door open and she hurried out, hoping it was Lexa.

Balta looked up in surprise as she set a tray of food on the table. “I did not expect to find you awake,” she said. “ _Heda_ said you might still be asleep.” She poured Clarke a cup of hot tea and handed it to her.

The pottery was warm against her fingers and Clarke sipped. “ _Chof_.” 1

“ _Heda_ wished to inform you that she had a few things to attend to this morning. She will alert you immediately when Kane arrives. She also suggested that perhaps I show you more of the tower, if you would like.” She gave Clarke a quizzical look. “It is good for you, to move around.”

“I’d like that.”

“ _Os. Yu choj op fos, den ai na chek yu ledon au_.” 2 She waited expectantly, head cocked.

“Um…eat first, check me after.”

She laughed.

“That’s it, right?”

“ _Sha_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_. Though English is sometimes more efficient.” She gestured at the table and Clarke sat down while Balta replaced some of the candles. The bread was still warm and Clarke savored it as she watched Balta.

“Where are you from?” she asked between bites.

“Tondc.”

“When did you leave?”

Balta looked at her, puzzled.

“To be a healer in Polis.”

“Mmm. I had seen eight summers. My mother sent me here for training.”

Clarke put several small cubes of meat on a piece of bread and waited for the juices to soak in. “How did you end up as healer for the Conclave?”

“I was not the only one. I was an apprentice, but learned quickly. Those within preferred me to my mentor, who was not always…” she searched for a word. “Gentle?”

Clarke nodded, encouraging.

“The _Natblida_ were still children in many ways. They seemed to like me moreso than my mentor.”

“What exactly is _Natblida_?”

“Nightblood. And that is something perhaps best discussed with _Heda_.”

Clarke put more meat on another piece of bread and wondered why the subject of Nightblood was so touchy.

Balta stopped and stared at the closest set of shelves, where Clarke kept the parchment and paints. “This—” she looked over at her.

“Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Pick it up. It should be dry.”

She did, and studied the painting for several moments before she looked at the next one and inhaled sharply. Clarke stopped mid-chew.

“This is me,” she said, surprised.

“ _Sha_. I want to always remember the healer who helped me when I first came to Polis.”

She nodded, thoughtful. “Who is this?” she held up a third painting.

“My father.”

“He is on the ground?”

“No. He died before we came here.”

Balta put it back on the shelf, almost reverent, and looked again at the most recent portrait that Clarke had done of her.

“Would you like to keep it? Or pick another. I did a couple of others of you.”

She carefully looked through the stack. “This one,” she said, and she held it up. Clarke had painted her from the chest up, with the sparkle in her eyes she got before she teased Clarke about something.

“ _Os. Ai ron em yu op_ , _Balta kom Trikru_.” 3

She grinned. “ _Mochof, Klark kom Skaikru_.” She made sure that the stack of parchments was neatly arranged the way she had found it. A couple of other paintings Clarke had not included in the stack because they needed to dry. Balta’s gaze caught on one of those and stayed.

“When did you do this one?” she asked, pointing.

Clarke swallowed her tea and got up. “Oh. I started that one the day I got the paints. I’ve been working on it since.” It was a large portrait of Lexa from the chest up, in her facepaint and black coat. She stared out at the viewer, the expression in her eyes a challenge tinged with guarded curiosity and an absolute comfort in the power she wielded.

“You were remembering something when you made this, yes?”

Clarke smiled. “When I first met her. Before the mountain, after she’d sent a bunch of warriors to—” she stopped, but forged ahead. “Well, to kill us at the drop ship, where we lived after we came to the ground.” She hoped Balta wouldn’t take that the wrong way. “It didn’t go as she planned. I was surprised, actually, that she was willing to listen to me after that.” She remembered that first meeting in the tent, where Indra begged to kill her, but Lexa stopped her diatribe with a single hand motion.

She nodded. “ _Heda_ wanted to meet the _Skaikru_ leader who bested her warriors.” She turned her gaze to Clarke. “She seeks to learn from all, even enemies.”

Clarke frowned. “Is that what I am?”

A slow smile curved Balta’s lips. “No. Far from it.” She rolled the portrait of herself up and stuck it in her belt. “Are you finished with your meal?”

She sighed, at both Balta’s dodge and at the daily wound check. “ _Yu gaf chek ai ledon au_.” 4

Balta laughed, pleased. “ _Yu fig oson sleng au_. _Os_.” 5 She stacked the dishes on the tray then removed the dressing on Clarke’s thigh. The wound had closed, though it was still a little puffy and tender. She rubbed salve in and put a clean dressing on. Clarke stood and removed her shirt and again, Balta rubbed salve into the claw marks on her back along with her bruises. When she took the tray, Clarke dressed, this time in dark trousers and light shirt. She tucked her pants into her boots, put both her knives in her belt, and was just putting her jacket on when Balta returned.

She assessed her briefly, then motioned toward the door. Clarke followed her into the corridor to the lift, a guard on her heels.

  
1 _Chof_ : thanks (shortened, less formal version of _Mochof_ )   
2 _Os. Yu choj op fos, den ai na chek yu ledon au_ : Good. You eat first, then I’ll check your wounds. (Clarke got the essence of the translation correct, but she didn’t include “wounds”—“ledon” is the word for “wounds.”)   
3 _Os. Ai ron em yu op_ , _Balta kom Trikru_ : Good. I give it to you, Balta of/from Trikru.   
4 _Yu gaf chek ai ledon au_ : you want to check my wounds   
5 _Yu fig oson sleng au_. _Os_ : You learn our language. Good. (“Fig au” is the verb for “to discover; find something out.” Since Trigedasleng also relies on context for meaning, it seemed “fig au” could work here for “figure out” or “learn.”)

 

**###**

The tower was a city within a city, Clarke soon discovered. People moved through the corridors of each of the five floors they had visited. Some were warriors, others were staff, she guessed, while still others seemed to be on official errands of some kind.

A few of the staff stopped and murmured greetings at her and Balta as they passed and once, on one of the upper levels, an older man with a long gray beard stared hard at her for a moment before he gave her a simple nod and moved on.

“He is one of the representatives of _Sankru_ ,” Balta said. “This level is where some stay while on business in Polis.”

Clarke was about to respond when a woman approached, dark eyes seeming to bore through her. No _Azgeda_ scars or _Trikru_ tattoos marked her face, and her hair, a reddish-brown, fell around her shoulders. She wore two small knives on her belt and moved with a lithe, springwound grace.

“Balta,” she said with a head bob. She said something that Clarke didn’t understand, then turned her gaze to Clarke, where it stayed, and traveled to the knife in her belt, then back to her eyes.

“ _Atlan kom Floukru_ , _em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ ,”6 Balta said. “Atlan is the clan representative of _Floukru_.”

Clarke gave her a nod. Boat people, she thought, but she didn’t know much else about them.

“Ah. So this is Clarke. How are you finding Polis?”

“I’m enjoying it quite a bit. It’s an amazing place.”

Atlan regarded her for a moment, sizing her up the way Grounders tended to do. It had been unnerving at first, but now Clarke scarcely noticed and took it in stride. “What you did at the mountain saved many people.”

Clarke’s throat tightened and Atlan’s gaze drilled into hers.

“But I see it was not something that came easily for you.”

She remained silent, suspecting that Atlan had more to say.

“My clan leader does not approve of warfare, but we all understand that sometimes it is necessary to bring peace, though it is not always easily achieved.” She nodded once, as if satisfied. “It is good that you are here, _Klark kom Skaikru_.” She exchanged a glance with Balta and moved away.

“Where is _Floukru_ territory?”

“They dwell on metal islands in the sea,” Balta said, “to the east.”

Metal islands? Something made by people, then, that floated. Not ships, or Balta would have said that.

“Are you able to use the stairs?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Come.” Balta led her down a few floors to what Clarke estimated was the seventeenth level. They emerged into another corridor, but here the rooms were larger and Clarke could hear what sounded like children reciting something. Several guards stood outside the room from which the voices emanated and she and Balta stopped just short of the doorway. The guards nodded at them and Clarke nodded back.

She couldn’t see inside the room from where she stood, but she heard Lexa speaking first Trigedasleng then English. She was asking questions and then children answered. Children? Lexa was teaching? She moved a little closer to the entrance, listening.

“Novitiates,” Balta said softly. “ _Heda_ works with the Conclave today. I am here to see to any wounds they have.”

Clarke repositioned herself so she could see into the room, between a guard’s arm and the doorway. Lexa sat on a raised dais in the Commander’s chair. Clarke recognized it from their first meeting. In her tent, in full _Heda_ regalia and facepaint, the chair was ominous, its dark, twisting pieces like snakes. Here, with sunlight pouring over it from the windows behind and the children of various ages sitting comfortably on the floor, the chair, like Lexa, exuded strength and patience.

The guard who blocked most of her view moved and Clarke got a better view of Lexa, who listened as the Novitiates recited something in Trigedasleng. She nodded, pleased, and said something else. A lanky boy whose voice was on the verge of breaking with puberty responded and Lexa nodded again, and a momentary lull in the lesson ensued before Lexa said something that sounded like praise and then dismissal from the day’s lesson.

At that point, Balta stepped into the room. “ _Heda_ ,” she said and bowed her head. “ _Ai kom raun gon chek Natblida ledon au_.” 7

Lexa nodded and stood. “ _Os_.”

Balta approached and said something in a low voice to her before she turned to a young girl who had a bandage on her arm. Clarke stepped away from the entrance and leaned against the wall. The guard who had come with her and Balta stood nearby.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” came Lexa’s voice and she straightened, as did all the guards when Lexa joined them in the corridor, wearing the regalia of the Commander, though she hadn’t painted her face and she didn’t have her swords. Still, she had two knives on her belt and most likely others stashed elsewhere. Clarke kept her gaze on Lexa’s rather than attempting to discern where else she might have weapons.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said.

“Please. Join us.” Lexa motioned at the room and Clarke followed her in.

“ _Natblida_ , _em laik Klark kom Skaikru_.” 8

Every pair of eyes turned toward her, and silence fell over the room. Clarke nodded, acutely aware of the attention. The lanky boy Clarke had noticed earlier approached. In another year, he’d be taller than Lexa.

“ _Mochof, Klark kom Skaikru_. We no longer fear that we will lose our people to the _Maunon_.” He spoke English reasonably well, though tentatively.

“ _Em laik Aden kom Trikru_ ,”9 Lexa said by way of introduction. “He is a most promising Novitiate. The spirit of the Commander would do well to choose him.”

Aden’s expression was serious, and Clarke saw the weight of responsibility in his eyes. It reminded her of Lexa.

“If the spirit of the Commander chooses me, _Skaikru_ will have nothing to fear,” he said softly.

Clarke stared at him, not sure what to say, and certainly not wanting to think about anybody other than Lexa as Commander. All she could do was nod at him, at this serious boy already shouldering the possibility of leadership of his people. He nodded back and Lexa gave him a look and he went over to where Balta was checking a bruise on the back of a young girl.

“He is a strong fighter,” Lexa said to her, “and shows more skill than I did at his age. He also understands that not all battles are fought on battlefields.”

Clarke counted ten Novitiates, the oldest a girl who looked to be about twelve. “What do you teach them?”

“Many things.”

Clarke gave her a look and the hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Lexa’s mouth.

“The responsibilities and duties of a Commander, among other subjects.” Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and watched Balta rub salve into a Novitiate’s bruise. “And what makes a good Commander.” She looked back at Clarke. “Do you have some time now?”

“Yes. Unless Balta wants to show me other things in the tower.”

“Mmm. This could be a consideration. I’ll ask her permission.” Her eyes seemed to spark with amusement.

“I think that’s best, _Heda_ ,” she said with extra seriousness.

“Balta,” Lexa said. “Might I take some of Clarke’s time? Unless you think she needs more rest.”

Clarke fought a smile, as some of the Novitiates were looking at her with interest.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Balta said with gravitas, but in a way that made it seem she was sharing a joke with Lexa. “Please do not undo all my work.”

A half-smile graced Lexa’s lips. “It shall be so.” She turned back to Clarke. “We will heed Balta’s wishes. Come.” She moved into the corridor, and Clarke walked quickly to catch up, in the company of three guards. They got on the lift and descended to the first level, where Lexa said something to the guards at the main entrance before they exited into the sunlight and walked toward the guardhouse.

Lexa guided her to the far side of the structure, and Clarke realized it was a practice area for knife-throwing, and that it was currently not in use. Several targets like what she had seen at the knife vendor’s in the marketplace were positioned at various distances from where Clarke stood. One of them was a wooden door, marred by hundreds of cuts and nicks.

She smiled. “Really? You have time to do this today?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows and the hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “ _Yu laik Wanheda_. _Ai gada pleni taim gon shoun yu swis raun_.” 10 A teasing challenge lurked in her tone and she waited for Clarke’s response.

“ _Pleni taim_ , huh? _Den shoun ai raun_ , _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_.” 11

She laughed and the sound made heat roll through Clarke’s blood in slow waves, made her think of Lexa’s lips against hers weeks ago and how she’d pulled her close the night before.

“It shall be so,” Lexa said. “I’m glad you brought your new knife. That one is a good weight for you and it is made for throwing.” She motioned at Clarke’s belt. “Draw your weapon.”

She did, and held it like she would any knife, fingers wrapped around the hilt, blade upright.

“To throw, you must first think about how your hand is positioned.” Lexa drew the knife that the vendor had given her. “Put your fingers here, like so.” She positioned herself just behind Clarke and switched her own knife to her left hand, to mimic Clarke. She held her hand out, next to Clarke’s, so that she could see the position of her fingers.

Lexa held her knife with the pommel roughly in the center of her palm, and her index finger was not around the hilt, but rather stretched out, touching the base of the blade, while the pad of her thumb rested against the hilt. Her third and fourth fingers were resting lightly around it. “Knives without a guard between the blade and hilt make them easier to throw with this grip.” She ran the tip of her index finger from its position on the blade to the hilt then back again.

Clarke’s mouth went dry, watching Lexa’s finger languidly move while she thrilled to her proximity behind her. She swallowed and imitated Lexa’s hold, but it felt awkward.

“Not too tight.” Lexa used her free hand to gently move Clarke’s fingers. The motion put Clarke within the circle of her arms, her back to Lexa’s chest, like on the ride to Polis. A delicious little ache moved down Clarke’s thighs. She welcomed it now rather than fought it, and doing so seemed to heighten the sensation.

“Now show me,” Lexa said, and moved her hand away.

She tried to ignore the different meanings that statement engendered in her thoughts and adjusted her grip then turned her hand so Lexa could see. “It feels strange,” she said.

“It will. You have not trained your muscles to the movements yet. Now watch.” Lexa moved so that she was next to Clarke and raised her arm so that her hand with the knife was level with her ear and the knife’s blade extended past her head. Then she moved her arm and released the knife in a gliding, smooth motion. It flew a good ten feet and stuck into the door. “This isn’t about your arm. It’s about pulling power from here—” she placed her hand lightly on Clarke’s left shoulderblade then moved it lower, about mid-back, “and your hips and legs. But that will come later, for distance. Right now, we need to focus on form.”

Clarke tried to pay attention to Lexa’s words, but her hand was still on her back and she enjoyed it too much.

“Move closer,” Lexa said near her ear, and Clarke froze as a delicious chill traveled down her spine. “Clarke,” Lexa said a couple of seconds later. “Get closer to the target. It’s best to start that way, because it will allow you to see what you do wrong and make adjustments.”

She exhaled and took a couple of steps, which put her about eight feet away from the door.

“This is the motion.” Lexa checked Clarke’s grip, then moved her arm back. “Hold on to the knife. Just move your arm in this motion a few times. You want your finger to slide along the hilt as you release, and you’re moving your weight from back foot to front.”

“What about my wrist?”

“Some keep their wrists straight. It helps generate power. This motion—” she used her own knife and slowly moved her arm so Clarke could see what she was doing, “allows me to keep a knife from turning before it hits a target. My wrist is not as stiff in this type of throw. I think it best you learn this one, because it may help you learn to generate power later from your back and hips.”

“Am I standing right?” Her legs were shoulder-width apart, right foot forward.

“Yes. You will make adjustments in that, as you learn what is comfortable for you and where your center lies.” She stepped back. “Keep your eyes on where you want the knife to go, and let your arm follow your motion. Now throw.”

Clarke inhaled and exhaled, cocked her arm, and brought it forward. The knife hit the target but didn’t stick.

Lexa retrieved it and handed it back to her. “Again. This time, a bit more power. From here.” She again placed her hand on her back, near her hip, then moved away. Again Clarke threw, and again the knife hit and didn’t stick. Again, Lexa retrieved it.

And so it went, several more times. Misses and hits that didn’t stick. Clarke groaned in frustration.

“It will come,” Lexa said. She moved so that she stood behind Clarke, barely a few inches between them. “Put your arm in a throwing position but don’t throw. Move your weight from back foot to front with the motion of your arm.”

Clarke cocked her arm and almost dropped the knife when Lexa’s hands settled on her hips.

“Pretend to throw,” Lexa instructed, voice low near her ear. “Slowly.”

Chills raced down her back but she did it, and felt Lexa’s hand pushing her right hip with the motion of her arm, forcing her to shift her weight to that foot as her arm finished its arc.

“Good,” came the caress of Lexa’s voice. “Again.”

Clarke pretended to throw, and Lexa gently but firmly pushed her right hip in sync with her arm.

“Do you feel the difference?” Lexa asked as she stepped away.

“Definitely,” Clarke said, but she wasn’t just talking about knife-throwing techniques and a momentary glint in Lexa’s eyes made her wonder if Lexa knew it.

“Then throw.”

She did, and the knife stuck momentarily then fell. She made a disgusted noise in her throat.

“Better,” Lexa said. She picked up the knife and handed it to her. “Watch the target. Not the weapon. Again.”

Clarke positioned her hand on the hilt, adjusted her stance, and threw. She moved her weight from front to back and this time the knife stuck in the wood. She stared at it, then whooped.

“Good.” Lexa smiled and pulled it from the wood. “How did it feel?”

“Excellent.”

“Think of that and throw again.” She handed her the knife and Clarke did several more throws, but with similar results to her initial tries.

“Damn it,” she said when her knife clattered against the wood and fell to the ground.

Lexa picked it up. “Relax, Clarke,” she said, and her voice was soft, almost hypnotic. She again stood behind her and Clarke was glad Lexa couldn’t see her face because she would see the effect she was having. “Take the knife.”

Clarke did, and placed her hand on the hilt.

“Relax,” Lexa said again. “Do not strangle it. Let it breathe.” She ran her fingers lightly over Clarke’s where they gripped and it was all Clarke could do to loosen her hold in the wake of her touch.

“Yes. Like that.” She positioned her hand over Clarke’s, her fingers matching where Clarke’s were on the hilt. “Much better.”

She stared at Lexa’s hand, decorated in several places with the thin white lines of scars. A warrior’s hand, but so gentle and warm on hers. “Feels better, too.”

“Yes. It does.” Lexa left her hand on Clarke’s for another few moments and Clarke stared at her fingers that rested so easily on hers. She barely breathed.

“Good,” Lexa said softly, her breath warm against Clarke’s ear. She slid her fingers slowly off Clarke’s. “Don’t throw yet, but move your arm back as if you are.”

She did, painfully aware of Lexa right behind her and the tingling her touch had left on her hand.

“Now throw.”

She moved and released the knife. It hit the target, but didn’t stick. This time, one of the guards picked it up and brought it back to Clarke, for which she was grateful because it meant that Lexa remained behind her.

“Take your grip,” Lexa said. “And relax.” She placed her hands on Clarke’s shoulders and though the touch was light, Clarke felt it all the way to her boots. She positioned her hand on the hilt and tried to concentrate on the throw, but Lexa’s proximity made that extremely difficult.

“Good.” Lexa applied a bit more pressure to Clarke’s shoulders. “Remember to shift your weight from back foot to front. Now throw.”

She did, and this time the knife struck with a solid thunk and stuck.

“Yes.” Clarke fist-pumped.

The guard brought her knife back and Lexa kept her hands on Clarke’s shoulders. “Again.”

Clarke threw and the knife stuck a second time. Lexa went to get it and her absence was a physical ache throughout Clarke’s chest and back.

“Did you feel the difference in your shoulders?”

“Definitely,” she said, though she wasn’t just talking about the throw.

“Remember that, and throw again.” Lexa handed her the knife and Clarke focused on the target, thinking about Lexa’s hands on her shoulders, her body so close—she threw and the knife stuck again.

“ _Os_ ,” Lexa said and Clarke went to get the knife. “Keep your shoulders relaxed.”

She positioned herself for another throw, Lexa watching from the side. She again imagined her, hands on her shoulders, and threw. The knife flew true and sank into the wood. She grinned and looked at Lexa, who smiled back and Clarke committed it to memory for her sketches.

The guard handed Clarke her knife and she threw again with the same results. She did several more and hit the target every time, the knife sticking deep.

“Good. Move back,” Lexa instructed. “This will require some adjustments, so do not be discouraged.”

Clarke added about three feet to the distance between her and the target and threw a few more times, her throws similar to her initial tries. “Damn,” she muttered after another throw went wide. A guard went to get the knife and Clarke glared at the target.

“Relax, Clarke. This is new for you, and new for your muscles. You have not moved them in this way, and they, too, are learning.”

The guard handed her the knife and Clarke took her position, exhaled, and threw again, this time remembering what Lexa had said about weight shift and generating power. The knife flew true and sank into the target.

“That felt good,” she said with another grin. “Really good.”

“Because it was.” Lexa nodded, clearly pleased. “Well done. But I think it is time to stop for today. Balta will not appreciate your newly sore arm.” She smiled again. “You probably won’t, either.”

Clarke retrieved her knife and slipped it back into her belt sheath. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

“Of course. And don’t worry. There will be more practices.” She nodded at the guards, who fell into position around them as they walked back to the tower. “If you wish, continue your tour with Balta. She will ensure you eat, and I will send word when Kane arrives.”

She liked that Lexa said “when” about Kane arriving and not “if.” That distinction made it feel real, that they would begin crafting the terms of the alliance. “Okay.” She glanced at the guard who had escorted her earlier with Balta, assuming he knew where she was. “I hope to see you later,” she said to Lexa.

“You will.” Lexa held her gaze for a moment then went into the tower with the other two guards.

“Lead on,” Clarke said to her guard.

“Balta will be with the Conclave still.” He motioned at the tower. “I will take you there.”

“ _Mochof_.” She fell into step with him, a thousand different things on her mind, Lexa uppermost in all.

  
6 _Atlan kom Floukru_ , _em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ : Atlan of/from Floukru (Boat People), this is Clarke of/from Sky Crew.   
7 _Ai kom raun gon chek Natblida ledon au_ : I’m here to check the Nightbloods’ wounds.   
8 _Natblida_ , _em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ : Nightbloods, this is Clarke of/from Sky Crew   
9 _Em laik Aden kom Trikru_ : This is Aden of/from Trikru (Woods Clan)   
10 _Yu laik Wanheda_. _Ai gada pleni taim gon shoun yu swis raun_ : You are Wanheda. I have enough time to show you [how to use] a knife. (Lexa is teasing Clarke with a little bit of linguistic digging regarding their titles and roles.)   
11 _Pleni taim_ , huh? _Den shoun ai raun_ , _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ : Enough time, huh? Then show me, Heda Lexa of/from Trikru (Woods Clan). (Clarke teases back.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the feelz scene in the last chapter. Because it appears to have served as a conduit of sorts for some pretty flirtatious interaction between Clarke and Lexa in this chapter, as you'll see. I mean, I hope you see. Heh.
> 
> And you get some more time with Balta and Clarke. Balta is always respectful of Lexa and the position she occupies, but Balta has known Lexa for years, so she has the privilege of earning the Commander's trust, and Clarke notices the way they interact, and it gives her insight not only to some other Lexa layers, but also Balta's.
> 
> I sweated the knife-throwing scene a bit, because it's a different type of interaction between Clexa, but seems a natural extension of their evolving feelings. It was a light-hearted, flirtatious moment in a time when they might not get too many of those. I hope you like it.
> 
> THANK YOU so much, to all of you who leave comments and kudos. I really appreciate that you're taking the time to join me on this trip, and I hope you're enjoying it. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but Lexa's got me on assignment in Polis, so I might not get to it right away. Don't worry. I will! And you can always hit me up on Twitter if you want: @andimarquette
> 
> Here are some songs I listened to as I wrote this here chapter thingie: Nico & Vinz, "Am I Wrong"; Marc May, "California"; Anna of the North, "Us" (this one totally helped me keep things light but kinda sexy in the knife-throwing scene!)


	29. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kane arrives at Polis, but Lexa has some bad news about what Sanders and Pike are up to.

Lexa finished the meal brought to her in the meeting room and a young boy stacked her dishes on his tray. She nodded at him and he smiled before he left. Wash pointed at a spot on one of the maps spread out on the table, bathed in light from the windows.

“Indra suspects that Nia may be working with some among _Skaikru_. Octavia agrees, and it seems the man called Sanders may be the primary contact.”

“Has Octavia seen him with _Azgeda_?”

“No. But he has sent people to patrol in areas that Indra notes need no such patrol. They may be meeting with _Azgeda_ scouts. She says that Octavia and Lincoln were going to follow one of these patrols.” He looked up at her. “That has probably already happened and perhaps Kane will bring word of it.”

Lexa stood and crossed her arms and stared at the map. “What have we heard from the mountain?”

“Someone is there.”

“Who?”

“The scouts are uncertain, though they guess _Skaikru_ and possibly _Azgeda_. The scouts may attempt to infiltrate through the tunnels, but they don’t wish to alert whoever is inside.”

“How many outsiders are in the mountain?”

“Hard to tell, and they do not engage in supply runs. Those come once every thirty days, as agreed. These others come every few days, but they don’t appear to be staying for long periods. Not yet.”

She pursed her lips. Nia was behind this in some way. Or she was agreeing to an extant plan and was approached by what Clarke insisted was a minority among _Skaikru_. Nia was an opportunist, and if she saw a way to further challenge her leadership by going back to the mountain, after all the _Maunon_ had done to the clans over the years, she would do so. “Send a message to Indra. I want Arkadia watched, and all movement accounted for. I want to know who is leaving and where they go so that we might determine which among _Skaikru_ are going to the mountain. Tell her to enlist Octavia and Lincoln, but no one else. We do not wish to alert _Abi kom Skaikru_ until we know more.”

Or endanger the alliance, Wash’s expression said. “ _Sha_.”

“ _Lok Roan kom Azgeda op_. _Lid em Polis in_.” 1

He nodded and left. Lexa continued to stare at the maps. If Nia could access tech in the mountain, she would leverage it against her and the _kongeda_. But Nia might not have correctly gauged the rogue _Skaikru_ contingent’s motives. If Sanders was the one working to move people into the mountain, he had no love for Grounders. Clearly, he needed Nia for something if he was working with _Azgeda_ , but as soon as that purpose was served, he most likely would not honor any agreement he had with her. The sooner she and Clarke could get an alliance into place, the better.

Titus entered the room. “ _Heda_ , _Markus kom Skaikru_ 2 is at the city gates.”

“I will greet him outside the tower. Alert Atlan.”

He inclined his head and glided silently into the corridor. Lexa pondered the map for a moment longer, then addressed one of the guards in the corridor. “ _Lok Klark kom Skaikru op_. _Tel em op Kane kom op en Klark beda glong ai op oudor._ ”3

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” The guard jogged to the stairwell while Lexa moved to the lift, accompanied by six warriors. They emerged from the tower into the early afternoon warmth, but Lexa recognized the faint undertones of late summer in the breeze, and the presaging of autumn. She glanced at the skies, at a line of clouds to the north. Another storm brewing, and not only in terms of weather.

“ _Heda_ ,” came Clarke’s voice as she approached. “Where is he?”

“Soon. He is on his way from the gates,” she said, reassuring. She looked at her and got momentarily caught in her eyes and she wondered at this pull between them, and that it was still present and only seemed to strengthen. She wrenched her gaze away, toward a group of her warriors that approached on horseback, Kane among them. They dismounted a few feet away and Kane caught sight of Clarke and grinned. Two of the scouts accompanied him to where Lexa and Clarke waited. Sweat and grime marred his features, and his clothes were streaked with dirt.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ , I welcome you to Polis,” Lexa said. “While you are here, you are my guest and under my protection.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Commander. On behalf of _Abi kom Skaikru_ , I bring you greetings and well-wishes.” He smiled at Clarke again, who gave him a hug. “Polis is truly amazing. I hope that I might be able to experience some of it while I’m here.”

Lexa nodded. “That can be arranged. But first, we will talk, after you have rested and eaten. Please allow one of my warriors to accompany you during your stay here, for your safety.”

He looked at Clarke, who nodded.

“Okay,” he said.

She motioned at one of her guards, and he immediately stepped forward. “Please accompany _Markus kom Skaikru_ to his quarters and ensure that he is fed.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He looked at Kane, expression impassive.

“I’ll go with you,” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded. “When he is ready, come to the meeting room where you spoke with Octavia and Mora.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa didn’t miss Kane’s expression—interest and calculation—at Clarke’s use of the honorific in Trigedasleng. No doubt he was assessing the current relationship between them, and wondering whether it was genuine.

Clarke walked toward the tower and Lexa addressed one of her guards. “ _Ai gaf Titus en Wash in raun ai strik wogeda nau_.” 4

The guard nodded and left and Lexa turned her attention to the group of scouts that had ridden with Kane. Three led the horses away while two others approached.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tomac said with a quick nod of his head. “I bring news.”

“Speak.”

“There are those among _Skaikru_ who are not in agreement with an alliance with _Trikru_. These seek to inhabit the mountain.”

“I am aware of this. Do you have names?”

“Sanders, who sits on the _Skaikru_ council, sends a man named Pike to the mountain. He is there now, though he does not seem to know we watch.”

Lexa rested her palm on the hilt of one of her daggers. “What does he do?”

“Reconaissance. They access through the tunnels, though I have word that they have managed to open the main door then close it. They appear to be testing the mountain’s capabilities.”

“How does this Pike manage to conduct these missions?”

“He leaves Arkadia after dark, through a weakness in the fence. I have counted twice he has gone to the mountain in the past four days.”

“Wash has said that Sanders may be working with _Azgeda_. Have you seen anything to suggest this?”

“ _Sha_. A patrol left early yesterday. One of our scouts followed it. Sanders talked with an _Azgeda_ warrior outside the perimeter. There was a man with _Azgeda_ who looked like _Skaikru_ , but did not return to Arkadia with Sanders.”

Lexa pondered this information. “What about this man made him seem like _Skaikru_?”

“His hair is very short, like some among _Skaikru_ prefer. He has no markings or scars on his face, and he wears a jacket that looks like the jackets the _Skaikru_ soldiers wear, but a different color.”

“I want to know who this man is.”

“ _Sha_. I told our scouts to follow them.”

“Come with me.”

He nodded and followed her back into the tower.

  
1 _Lok Roan kom Azgeda op_. _Lid em Polis in_ : Find Roan of/from Ice Nation. Bring him to Polis.  
2 _Markus kom Skaikru_ : Marcus (Kane) of/from Sky Crew. (Grounders don’t have surnames, so in that spirit, I’m using Kane’s first name when it appears in Trigedasleng.)  
3 _Lok Klark kom Skaikru op_. _Tel em op Kane kom op en em beda glong ai op oudor_ *: Find Clarke. Tell her Kane is here and she should join me outside. (Peterson doesn’t appear to have a term for “outside” as in “let’s go outside,” so I made one up. I derived “oudor” from “outdoors.”)  
4 _Ai gaf Titus en Wash in raun ai strik wogeda nau_ : I want Titus and Wash in the small meeting room now. (“Wogeda” is technically “chamber.” Here, Lexa uses “strik,” or “small,” to delineate it from the larger council room.)

 

###

“Did you know about this?” Clarke stared at Kane and Lexa sat back in her chair, watching the exchange.

Already the afternoon light was fading in the meeting room and several candles were already lit. She occupied the head of the table while Kane and Clarke sat to her left and Wash to her right. Kane had cleaned up and trimmed his beard, but he still looked tired, and strain showed in the lines at the corners of his eyes.

“I knew Sanders has wanted to use the mountain since—” he hesitated, considering his words.

“Since I killed all the Mountain Men,” Clarke finished, tone hard. “Has he said this at council meetings?”

Lexa’s gaze glided over Clarke’s features at her mention of the mountain, then moved back to Kane after she determined that the discussion about the mountain was not proving emotionally difficult for her.

“Yes,” Kane said. “But Abby won’t allow it. She honors the agreement with _Trikru_. Once a month she goes to Mt. Weather for medical supplies and other mechanical supplies as needed and has made it clear that anyone caught violating the agreement with _Trikru_ will suffer consequences. So far, no one has violated it.”

“No one has been caught violating it, you mean,” Clarke retorted, saying what Lexa was already thinking.

Wash cleared his throat softly.

“Speak,” Lexa said to him and Kane and Clarke both looked across the table at him.

“This man Sanders does not go to the mountain. He sends a man called Pike.”

“Pike?” Kane’s eyes widened. “He was a leader of Farm Station, one of the pieces of the Ark that came to Earth. He claims they were attacked by Ice Nation, and it’s caused him to have a somewhat bad view of all Grounders.”

“What kind of influence does he have?” Clarke asked and Lexa watched her with interest. She was not familiar with Clarke speaking in this capacity with _Skaikru_ leadership.

“Some, among a few of the remaining Farm Station.”

“That’s what you _can_ see. He might have more than you think. Is anyone watching Sanders? I told Octavia to keep an eye on him and anybody associated with him. Did she talk to you?”

Kane sat up straighter. “Yes. I told her to keep watching, and to let me know if she finds anything.”

“Did she?”

“She said that there might be something going on between Pike and Sanders, and it might involve the mountain, but when I talked to him—”

“You what?” Clarke stared at him.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, tone quiet but firm. Clarke looked at her, eyes still flashing with irritation, but it wasn’t directed at her. “Let us hear what Kane knows.”

She nodded and Lexa looked at Kane, a signal to continue.

“I asked Sanders if he had heard anything about a contingent at Arkadia wanting to move into Mt. Weather,” he said. “I wanted him to know that there was talk about it, so if he was working with this contingent, it would put him on notice and make him realize he was being watched. He said he hadn’t heard about it.”

Not a bad strategy, Lexa thought, but not one that would be effective with a man like Sanders, who seemed to be willing to work with someone like Nia.

“Of course he’d say that,” Clarke snapped.

“Were you aware that Sanders is meeting with _Azgeda_?” Lexa asked Kane. Clarke’s expression went from irritation to surprise then anger in the space of a breath.

Kane leaned forward, intent. “How? And where?”

“West of Arkadia. This man Sanders has gone on at least one patrol past the perimeter into _Trikru_ territory. He met yesterday morning with an _Azgeda_ scout and another man who appears to be _Skaikru_.”

“ _Skaikru_?” Clarke glanced from Kane to Lexa. “There’s someone from _Skaikru_ who is with _Azgeda_?” She looked over at Wash. “You mean, this man is not with Sanders on the patrols? He’s already in the forest with _Azgeda_?”

“Yes. The scouts say he is not _Azgeda_ or any other clan.”

“Why do the scouts think that?”

“His hair is short, like Sanders, and he has no beard and no scars or markings. His jacket is like the jackets _Skaikru_ soldiers wear, but a different color.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “Could he be from Mecha Station? Maybe he was captured by _Azgeda_?”

“Possibly,” Wash said, “but the scouts say he is not treated like a prisoner.”

“Do we have a name?” Kane asked Wash.

“Not yet.”

Clarke looked at him. “How is Pike getting into the mountain?”

“The Reaper tunnels. But he knows how to open the main door.”

“That takes a code.” Clarke stared at the table then looked at Kane. “When you make a supply run to the mountain, do you go through the tunnels?”

“Yes. Bellamy, Lincoln, and Octavia know them. They’ve used a specific way in and a specific way out, but there is an access point near the main door, and we’ve used that as an exit point. We don’t leave it propped open for entry, though.”

“But as far as you know, they don’t use the main door?”

“No. Like you say, it takes a code and Abby didn’t think it was necessary to send anybody up to try to break it. The tunnels have worked fine, and are closer to the medical level, anyway.”

Clarke frowned. “Then how the hell does Pike have a code to open the main door?”

A good question, and one Lexa would have considered. She enjoyed watching this Clarke, the one who dissected problems and devised strategies. She had seen this Clarke before the mountain, the Clarke who visualized several things at once and was able to determine a path through. This Clarke was one of the reasons that Lexa initially agreed to work with _Skaikru_.

“Maybe one of the people he brought from Arkadia is good with code-breaking,” Kane said.

“The only one I know of who could do it that quickly is Monty,” Clarke said. “Maybe Raven. Possibly Sinclair. And I doubt they’re working with Pike and Sanders.”

Kane ran a hand through his hair. “Then there has to be somebody else at Arkadia who can do it who is helping Pike.”

“We will discuss this further another time. Tell me instead the Chancellor’s views about an alliance,” Lexa said. Wash got up and left. He made sure the door was closed behind him.

Kane nodded. “She is willing to work with _Trikru_ to develop a strong relationship that ensures our mutual safety and interests.”

“Any alliance has to include an agreement that _Skaikru_ does not occupy Mt. Weather.” Clarke’s tone offered no room for argument. “Which means you do something about Sanders. Get him off the council if you have to. And Pike needs to be stopped.”

“Suppose this Sanders and Pike wish to form their own group of _Skaikru_ , separate from and hostile to Arkadia?”

Both Clarke and Kane shifted their attention to Lexa.

“Might this group of _Skaikru_ then find it useful to work with _Azgeda_ rather than _Trikru_?”

“But if Pike and Sanders leave Arkadia because they don’t want to work with Grounders, why would they ally with Ice Nation?” Kane glanced at Clarke.

Clarke’s eyes widened. “Because Nia has something that Pike and Sanders want and they, in turn, have something she wants.”

“Yes,” Lexa said. “But the question remains—what will _Abi kom Skaikru_ do should _Skaikru_ splinter?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Kane said, and from his expression, the thought had clearly not occurred to him.

“She’ll remain allied with _Trikru_.” Clarke’s tone was quiet but emphatic. “If Pike and Sanders choose to leave Arkadia with whoever might support them, they’re vulnerable to the clans, and small in number. It’s beneficial for the Chancellor to remain in an alliance with _Trikru_.”

Lexa braced her elbows on the arms of her chair and interlaced her fingers. “The Chancellor would not support a contingent leaving Arkadia?”

“Not one that is hostile to an alliance and to Grounders in general. And certainly not one that chooses to work with _Azgeda_ ,” Clarke said.

Kane nodded. “I’ll agree on that.”

“And should this group from Arkadia choose to occupy the mountain?” Lexa cocked her head. “They thus control some of the supplies that Arkadia is using.”

Clarke exhaled. “And weapons. Including missiles.” She stared at Lexa, and realization at what that could mean dawned in her eyes. The mountain could again attack at will, and possibly bomb Grounder villages and even Polis.

“Sanders wouldn’t just randomly attack people,” Kane said, but Lexa knew that anyone could do anything, if given certain motivation.

Clarke leaned toward him. “What about Pike?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“There are rumors,” Kane admitted, “that he has attacked Grounders without provocation. ‘Preemptive strikes,’ he calls them.”

Lexa considered this information. A man who took such action was predictable, but also dangerous because he was willing to use whatever means necessary to destroy what he could. A man like that would be willing to launch a missile at whatever target he deemed a threat. She caught Clarke’s gaze and from her expression, they were thinking the same thing.

“Is it possible,” Clarke said, “that Sanders and Pike are trying to reclaim the mountain for themselves and whoever wants to follow them? With the weaponry there, nobody would be able to challenge them.”

Kane had no response.

“And,” Clarke continued, “that would be a good reason for someone like Nia of _Azgeda_ to ally with them. She could access the tech there and use it against _Trikru_.”

“Yes.” Lexa sat forward and addressed Kane. “It is clear that Sanders will not support an alliance with _Trikru_. How important is he to the rest of the _Skaikru_ leadership?”

“His vote will be overridden,” he said. “But the problem may be among his supporters. They may seek to force an election and install him as Chancellor.”

“Which would marginalize you and my mom.” Clarke went silent. Finally, she looked up. “We need to finalize an alliance as soon as possible. Tomorrow. And we need to alert Abby and Bellamy about the mountain.”

Kane started to say something but she interrupted him.

“You and I are operating as _Skaikru_ representatives. The Chancellor granted us the power to enter into an alliance, right?”

“Well, technically, I’m here to get the final terms and take them back to Arkadia.”

“We don’t have time for that.” The finality in Clarke’s tone fell heavily, like a stone on the table. “If we send the terms back without entering into an alliance, that could signal Sanders and Pike to either call for a new election or something else. For all we know, they already have things in place in the mountain and all they have to do is go up there and seal themselves in, and we won’t have an alliance in place to protect us. We’re on our own without one.”

“Is that true?” Kane asked Lexa.

“Yes. The clans currently in the _kongeda_ would want a reason to help Arkadia in event of a split, and if _Skaikru_ is not part of an alliance with _Trikru_ or part of the _kongeda_ , it is doubtful that I could convince them to aid you. At least not without time.”

“Even if Sanders and Pike are in the mountain threatening to shoot missiles at Polis?” he pushed.

“That does not require that we aid Arkadia. That is a direct threat to the clans, and would be answered accordingly by the _kongeda_. _Skaikru_ would still be on its own, though I would do what I could to help.”

Clarke looked at her, expression unreadable. Lexa met her gaze, and again, a warm, deep current coursed between them, like what had washed through her several times during the earlier knife-throwing session. Clarke turned her attention to Kane, who sat back, brow furrowed. Unlike Clarke, he was slower to make decisions, though he usually came to the ones she did. And usually after she had pointed them out.

“What if we joined the coalition, rather than simply formed an alliance?” he asked after a while.

Though surprised that he would suggest that, Lexa didn’t show it. “Do you have the authority to do this?”

“Not necessarily, but I have a radio.”

“What? When were you going to tell us that?” Clarke gave him a look and he shrugged.

“I’m not sure of its range, so it didn’t seem relevant to bring it up since I was originally just going to go back to Arkadia with terms. It was supposed to be for emergencies. Now, however, seems like a good time to bring it up. It’s the one you gave Octavia before you came here. Raven worked on it and we might be able to get a signal through to Arkadia.”

“From the top floor of the tower.” Clarke glanced at Lexa for confirmation and permission.

Lexa nodded.

“What does it mean if we enter the coalition?” Kane directed the question at Lexa.

“You will be the thirteenth clan.”

“And beholden to you?”

“To the Commander,” she corrected. “While I am in that role, yes, to me. When I am not, then to the next. However, each clan has a leader, and within the clans are other leaders. The _kongeda_ does not interfere with local governance unless there is a dispute that cannot be settled internally or there is a dispute between clans. Each clan will provide a representative for the clan council.”

“But ultimately, final decisions rest with the Commander.”

“Yes. And the clan council. A good Commander knows not to operate without the council.”

Kane sat back and glanced at Clarke then at Lexa. “What does entering the coalition— _kongeda_ —mean for us?”

“As the thirteenth clan, you become our people and are free to trade and travel among all. A threat against you is a threat against me, and by extension, the other clans. You can call on me and the council to address disputes or to provide aid or guidance should you require it. In exchange, the thirteenth clan will swear loyalty to the Commander and respond to threats as directed by the Commander and the council of clans. You will be part of the council, and you will provide a representative.”

“We would no longer be independent,” Kane said, but in a way that indicated he was neither for nor against such.

Clarke looked at him. “Yes, we would. It would be like the Ark, when the twelve stations came together. Each station functioning independently, with its own leaders, but with a Chancellor and a council to help resolve issues. This is our Ark on the ground. A different culture and a different language, but didn’t we go through that with the Ark? The twelve stations came together on Unity Day. We didn’t all speak each other’s languages then, either.”

Lexa sat back. Kane’s expression indicated that Clarke had won this battle, and she could empathize. She remembered the first time she met this woman who had come to the ground on the drop ship, and how she’d entered her tent with no weapons and no knowledge about her or Grounder culture, but she convinced her to form an alliance against the _Maunon_. Unwavering, diplomatic when necessary, unyielding when called for. Lexa’s chest tightened with the memory, and she watched Clarke now, a mixture of pride and so many other things in her thoughts. This was the _heda kom Skaikru_ Lexa had come to know, the reason that they were all seated at this table, in this room, on this day.

“Let’s try to reach Arkadia,” Kane said. “And we’ll go from there. Commander, may we go to the highest floor here?”

“Of course. Clarke, will you be accompanying Kane?”

“Yes. I’ll let you know what happens and what decision we make.”

Lexa stood. “Very well. Once you return to your quarters, you may request food if you wish.”

“ _Mochof_ , Commander,” Kane said.

“ _Sha_. _Mochof_ , _Heda_. _Ai na lok yu op leida_ ,”5 Clarke said and Lexa fought a smile. She kept her expression blank, but again, Kane glanced from Clarke to her, trying to gauge their relationship. She nodded in dismissal and Clarke motioned at Kane to follow her out of the room.

Wash entered a few moments later and looked at her expectantly.

“ _Konge Titus, Atlan, en Ferris nau._ ”6

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He left as quickly as he’d come in and Lexa moved to the balcony, where she watched the encroaching nightfall. Should _Skaikru_ agree to be the thirteenth clan, that left Nia isolated. Unless Sanders and Pike were successful at splitting Arkadia, which would allow her access to tech in the mountain. From what Lexa could glean from Clarke and Kane, Sanders was not the type to provide something for nothing. Nia had something he wanted in exchange for something in the mountain that would allow Nia to challenge her.

She thought of the missile that the _Maunon_ had sent to Tondc and she knew that if these men from Arkadia were allowed access to the mountain, they would repeat what had already been done. A thirteenth clan would prove helpful in the long run, but they still had the short term to deal with. Right now, however, she needed to ensure that some pieces were in place.

  
5 _Ai na lok yu op leida_ : I’ll find you later  
6 _Konge Titus, Atlan, Ferris en nau_ : Fetch Titus Atlan, and Ferris now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, I think, serves as a bridge to another aspect of this story. That is, we've got the feelz infrastructure in place, but oh, noez, we now have a better sense of what Nia is up to, and how it ties into d-bags at Skaikru.
> 
> We've also got Kane back in the picture. I really couldn't stand Kane in S1 of the TV show, but about halfway through, I started to get a better sense of him, because the Ark was basically a super brutal, almost dictatorship system, and he, too, was formed by it. I was pissed at him again when he brought Ark ways to the ground in S2 and doled out that punishment to Abby, but he hadn't quite settled into life on the ground and he was falling back on systems he knew best. He self-corrects, and by the end of S2, he had grown on me.
> 
> So here we go, friends. We're moving toward some shit again!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for hanging out with me and for the comments and kudos. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but all this work I'm doing bounty hunting with Killjoys might interfere. Don't worry! I'll get there! You can also hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> Songs I listened to during the creation of this chapter: Emma Hewitt, "These Days Are Ours" (Zetandel chill out mix); Chicane, "Leaving Town"; Phoria, "Evolve"


	30. A Call to Arkadia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Kane radio Arkadia and oh, yeah. There is some shit goin' down. Plus Clarke is all, "we're joining the kongeda and that's all there is to it."

“This is the highest level, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” one of the guards said when the lift stopped.

“Which is the farthest room that faces south?”

“This way.” The guard said and she walked down the corridor almost to the end and opened the last door on the left. The two other warriors took positions near the door. “ _Beja, hod op_.” 1

Clarke put a hand on Kane’s arm to keep him in the corridor while the guard went in and checked the room then motioned them in. It held no furniture, and smelled dank and musty. The top levels clearly weren’t used much.

Clarke crossed to the balcony and unlatched the doors. She pulled them open and inhaled the evening air. The guard moved past her and tested the balcony with a series of careful steps. She glanced up and nodded that it was okay to proceed onto it then came back inside.

“I have a flashlight if we need it,” Kane said.

“Good. Come on.” Clarke stepped out onto the balcony, careful even after the guard’s check. “Let’s try this.”

Kane took the radio out of his pack and turned it on. Static. “Raven told me to use a certain channel.”

“Probably one that the Guard doesn’t use.”

Kane gave her a look and she shrugged, guessing that Raven hadn’t lost old habits. She had never trusted the Guard, even when on the Ark. And with men like Sanders in its ranks, she had no reason to trust it now. Clarke watched him fiddle with the dial.

“Damn,” he muttered as even the static cut out. He slowly turned the dial again. “Do you trust Lexa?” he asked, glancing up at her.

Clarke watched him work for a few more moments. “She’ll do what she has to do for her people. If we become part of the coalition, she’ll then do that for us, as well.”

“That’s not the question I asked.”

“I trust that she believes in this coalition, and I trust that she will, as Commander, act in accordance with what she and the clan council establish for it.” She left unsaid that there were other things she had come to trust about Lexa, as much as it scared her to feel them.

The static returned. “This should be the channel.” He pressed the “talk” button. “Raven. It’s Kane. Come in.”

A low-grade hiss responded.

“Raven. Come in. It’s Kane.”

Nothing.

“We may have to leave the city and get closer to Arkadia. Find a high place—”

“Hey, it’s Raven. Kane?”

Clarke grinned, relieved.

“Yes. Are you alone?”

“No. Abby’s here.” A bit of static cut out her last word, but other than that, the connection was surprisingly clear.

“Anybody else?”

“No.”

“Can you keep it that way?”

Pause. Clarke wondered if they’d lost the signal, but then Raven spoke again.

“Yeah. We’re private.”

“Marcus, it’s Abby. Where are you?”

“Polis. Clarke is right here. Before you ask, she’s fine. Can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Raven said. “But I don’t know if your battery life can sustain communication over this distance. So talk fast.”

“Abby,” Kane said, “I need you to listen.”

“Wait,” Abby said. “Kane, we have a problem here. Sanders and—” static, “over the mountain.”

Kane grimaced. “Say again.”

“Sanders and Pike,” Raven said. “They’ve got a group here trying to force Abby to support moving into Mt. Weather.”

Clarke exchanged a glance with Kane. What Lexa had predicted was already in motion.

“We know. Pike has been going there. Sanders is meeting with Ice Nation past the perimeter.”

“How—” Abby started.

Clarke took the radio. “Lexa’s scouts. Mom, listen to me. You have to get Sanders off the council, but you can’t be obvious about it. Send him on patrol duty a day away or something. Separate him from Pike. Do it as soon as you can.”

Kane took the radio back. “Clarke’s right. And we need to join Lexa’s coalition as a clan. If we don’t, Pike and Sanders will access Mt. Weather’s weapons in an alliance with Ice Nation and we are vulnerable without the full backing of the coalition.”

Silence. Not even static.

“Shit.” Clarke’s heart sank. “Did the battery go?” A hundred thoughts raced through her mind, including leaving for Arkadia that night.

“I’m not sure I can get enough support to join the coalition,” Abby said through a soft hiss that distorted some of her words.

“You’re the Chancellor,” Kane said. “You have my support and Sinclair’s. And Clarke’s.”

She knew why he added her name. Because most of those who came to the ground in the drop ship would back her, and a few others would, too, because of what happened at the mountain. And if Abby decided to go with Lexa, a core would still support her. But that probably wouldn’t play out across the rest of Arkadia.

“Would they support an alliance?” Clarke asked over Kane’s shoulder.

“More would support that over joining the coalition—” she cut out and Clarke bit back her frustration.

“Abby? Come in.”

“I’m here.”

“Pike and Sanders will use Mt. Weather’s weapons as incentive to force Arkadia to join them. It will bring war with the Grounders. We need to join the coalition to keep that from happening.”

Silence again. Clarke bit her lip. If they joined the coalition, it would absolve them of responsibility, in some ways, should Pike and Sanders split from Arkadia and go rogue. _Skaikru_ could make that distinction and retain the trust of some of the clans.

“—alliance,” Abby said.

Kane waited a beat. “Say again.”

Abby’s response was a series of crackles and static pops.

He stood and moved closer to the railing. “Abby. Come in.”

“—dangerous. Indra said. . .mountain. . .no time…alliance.”

Kane went to the other end of the balcony. “Abby, work with Indra. Tell her Lexa knows what Pike and Sanders are doing. Ice Nation may attack Arkadia and Sanders may use the mountain to threaten you and Polis.”

“—Mt. Weather…spoke with Indra. Ice Naton scouts are…forest around Arkadia…tell Lexa…did not authorize…mountain—”

The radio went silent and Clarke gritted her teeth. Kane tried several more times to get through, but there was no response and only a barely perceptible tinny hum. He didn’t say what Clarke knew he was thinking, too. That something may have just happened at Arkadia.

“I’ll ask Lexa to send scouts to Arkadia and Mt. Weather,” Clarke said, as much for her own benefit as his.

He nodded. “We have to formalize an alliance tomorrow. Can Lexa call a council?”

“Probably. But it’s not just going to be an alliance,” she said. “We’re joining the coalition.”

“Clarke—” he started, in the tone he used when he was trying to defuse her stubborn streak.

“It’s the only good option we have. An alliance is not going to protect us from Pike or Sanders. It’ll probably work against Ice Nation, but the clans will consider a split in Arkadia none of their business and the council won’t mediate in an alliance. If Pike and Sanders declare war on Lexa, they drag us into it. An alliance isn’t strong enough. As a clan, we can then draw a clearer line between us and the leaders of a split.”

“Abby doesn’t think she can get enough support to join the coalition.”

“She’s Chancellor,” Clarke said. “She has Sinclair’s backing and your support, which overrides Sanders. Besides,” she added, “for right now, what people don’t know won’t hurt them.”

He stared at her, and even in the fading evening light, she saw the expression in his eyes. Shock, mostly, but underneath that, grudging agreement. They had all made decisions like this. Even worse than this, and the ramifications had left blood on both their hands. His were no cleaner than Clarke’s and his expression confirmed it. He suddenly looked years older. “You’re willing to take this chance? Becoming a thirteenth clan?”

“What other option do we have? If Sanders and Pike are able to get a group into the mountain, they can fire a missile at whatever they want. They will force Arkadia to either join them or die. If Arkadia joins, it’s war with the Grounders and the weapons capability of the mountain can cause a lot of damage, which will only bring more war.” And most likely, the mountain would win, once again destroying Grounders.

“They can do that whether we join the coalition or not,” Kane said.

“If we’re part of the coalition, we have Lexa’s backing and the support of the clans to deal with the split, and, more importantly, we don’t get blamed for it.”

He studied her for a long moment then finally nodded. “Fine. We’ll have to figure out how to make this work with Arkadia.”

“I’ll tell Lexa.”

“Okay. He put the radio back in his pack. Clarke stepped into the room. The guard looked at her, expectant.

“ _Beja_ ,” Clarke said to her, “ _yu lok Heda op_. _Ai na gyon au gon ai wogeda_.” 2

“ _Sha, Wanheda_.” She was out the door before Clarke could correct her about not using her name. Kane stood nearby.

“Polis has been good to you,” he said. “And you’re clearly paying attention.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “I picked a few things up before Polis.” She started toward the door.

“Abby wanted me to tell her how you’re doing here.”

She stopped and sighed. “Behind my back, no doubt. So how am I doing?”

“You look good. Octavia said you’d taken a few hits in the forest from Ice Nation.”

“A few, yeah.” She didn’t elaborate.

“She also said Lexa was amazing.”

She smiled. “Octavia said that?”

He grinned back at her. “I know. Sounds crazy. But she said that Lexa and her scouts showed up and kicked some serious ass.” He said the last part mimicking how Octavia might have said it, which made her laugh again. “And she said that Lexa was on her way to Arkadia to try to work an alliance.”

“She was.”

He studied her for a beat. “Did Lexa actually say she was going to try to do that even if you weren’t there to run interference?”

“Yeah. She said Nia is a threat to us all.”

“Octavia was quite impressed by that. And you know not much impresses her. She admitted that Lexa might not be completely evil. Her words. Not mine.”

“No, she’s not.”

A hint of skepticism showed in his eyes. “So how are you?”

“Considering the circumstances, I think I’m doing all right.”

“You seem to be dealing well with Lexa.”

“I am. We’ve come to an understanding.” She knew that what he really wanted to know was where things stood with Lexa after the mountain, and whether Clarke was of her own mind while in Polis.

“And what would that involve?”

She gave him a look. “What’s best for both her people and mine.”

He gripped her arm. “Clarke, I need to know that you’ve thought this through.”

“You think I haven’t?”

“That came out wrong.” He let go. “A coalition comes with very different responsibilities than an alliance, and it ties us to Lexa and her people in ways we might not fully understand. Have you thought about what that might mean for us?”

“Yeah. And yes, the thought even entered my mind right after the mountain the first time. Even after what Lexa did. We can’t survive down here without her people. We might have guns, but those eventually run out of ammunition. And are we really going to join Sanders in the mountain and blow the fuck out of Polis and Tondc again? Will killing Grounders make things better?” She glared at him. “I don’t think so.”

“Fair point. But look me in the eye, Clarke. After what happened at Mt. Weather, do you trust Lexa?”

Clarke met his gaze. “Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I trust that she will always do what needs to be done to protect those she is sworn to protect. Once we enter that circle, she will do everything in her power to protect us as well.”

“What about right now, when we’re not part of an alliance or the coalition, do you trust her?”

“I do.” How could she tell him about the ways Lexa’s heart spoke to her, how she had been protecting her since the mountain, in spite of the traditions of her people and in spite of the ways she had isolated herself since Costia’s death? How could she tell him of the nights Lexa stayed with her here in Polis, keeping the ghosts at bay? “Joining the _kongeda_ is the best thing for us and it’s the best thing for her, too. She needs us probably as much as we need her. Especially if we have to go back to the mountain. She knows we’re the best equipped to handle that.”

He nodded. “All right. So I’m going to tell Abby that you are of sound mind and body and ready to make some deals.”

She relaxed and smiled. “Tell her I’m all right. Lexa has made sure of that. And tell her I’ll see her soon. Once we get through the official clan recognition, I’ll go back to Arkadia to see what our next step is.” She motioned with her hand. “Come on.” She stepped into the corridor and closed the door behind them. They walked in silence to the lift with the two other warriors. Kane was right. Polis _had_ been good to her, but not for the reasons he might think. Right now, however, there were far more pressing matters to deal with.

  
1 _Beja, hod op_ : Please, wait   
2 _Beja, yu lok Heda op_. _Ai na gyon au gon ai wogeda_ : Please, find Heda. I will go to my room (quarters). Basically, Clarke tells the guard to find Lexa and that she’ll be in her quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, you get to see a little bit more of the Kane/Clarke relationship, which is not quite dad, not quite mentor, but more equals.
> 
> He also kind of runs interference between Abby and Clarke. What I'm hoping this chapter and the previous chapter convey is that things are moving toward some shit, and that shit could get srsly ugly. Nia's been working some things behind the scenes (you'll see in future chapters) and Sanders and Pike have some things going on, too, and if our fave characters can't figure out how to put a stop to it, well...
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for reading, and for the kudos and comments. I SO appreciate it! I try to respond to comments as soon as I can, but Lexa's got me running errands around the tower, so I might not get to it when I'd like. Rest assured it's not cuz I don't LUUUUV you or LUUUUV hearing from you, 'kay? And you can always find me on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of tunes that helped me craft this chapter: Tep No, "The Best Crew"; DJ Licious and IRO, "No Second Thoughts"


	31. Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven manages to get through to Kane with more news from Arkadia. Clarke finalizes the kongeda plan with Lexa and then she and Lexa have a moment. A serious moment, people. Lots of feelz.

Clarke chewed her lip. She’d already organized her things so that she could leave quickly. Her nervous energy was driving her to keep moving around and she’d been pacing her quarters for what seemed like hours but was probably just a few minutes. She went out on the balcony and breathed in the night air, mulling scenarios.

She had known Sanders was trouble. She had felt it. Saw it in the way he dismissed Lincoln and the Arkadia council, and he might have backing from some of the Guard, which was another problem because the Guard was armed. Pike she had no real experience with, since she’d spent a lot of time in detention before she came to earth, but if he was teaching earth skills, then he had some advantages on the ground that others might not have and he was probably able to use a variety of weapons if necessary.

Firelight dotted the cityscape below and she imagined that if she looked hard enough she would see Arkadia through the darkness. A bad feeling sat in her gut and she debated the next move. She chewed her lip, thinking about what Octavia had said about the ceremony for joining the coalition. Oaths and rituals were important in this world, and served, in some ways as laws. The Ark had its own set of rules and rituals, too, it occurred to her, also heavy with meaning in some ways but in others, they were just things to do and repeat, providing a sense of cohesion. And, ultimately, control.

Would Lexa wield that control in ways that benefited or hurt? She hoped the former, but Lexa was always _Heda_ , and sometimes those two agendas didn’t always coincide. However, in the time she’d been at Polis, she had come to understand that Lexa’s motivations never seemed to come from a deliberate attempt to hurt.

A knock at the door brought her back inside. “Come in.”

Lexa entered and for a moment their gazes locked. Clarke had been here before, in this position with her, with war swirling around their feet, each testing the other’s boundaries. Their initial interactions had been a series of feints, retreats, and all-out gambles. Maybe even tests that neither had mastered but that had provided clues to and for the other. Tonight she saw the veneer of the Commander in Lexa’s eyes, but behind it were many other things that she had yet to tap, but oh, how she wanted to.

“The radio worked,” Clarke said, to keep herself from thinking about the things Lexa chose to let her see. “Abby knows what Sanders and Pike are doing, but she didn’t know Sanders was meeting with _Azgeda_.”

“Has she spoken with Indra?”

“Yes. We told her to let her know that Polis is aware of what’s happening and to watch for an attack from _Azgeda_.”

“What of an attack inside Arkadia?” She voiced what Clarke had been thinking all evening.

“I don’t know. We lost contact. I don’t know if it’s because it’s difficult to get a signal to Arkadia or if something else happened.”

Lexa nodded. “I will send scouts to Arkadia.”

“Thank you,” she said, relieved.

She studied her for a moment. The expression in her eyes softened with understanding but also concern. “You wish to return, as well.”

“I have to.”

“Yes,” she said, a simple declaration of support.

“I have to help stop whatever it is that’s going on at the mountain.”

Lexa nodded, and the gesture managed to convey concern and acceptance. She approached until she was within arm’s reach. All Clarke had to do was pull her in, but she kept her hands at her sides.

“Have you come to a decision about the _kongeda_?” Lexa asked.

“We will join.”

The cool green of her gaze drilled into Clarke’s. “ _Skaikru_ is certain of this path?”

“Yes. What kind of preparation do you need for us to do this? Because the longer Kane and I wait, the more time Sanders has to do whatever it is he’s doing.”

“I will gather the council tomorrow and we will prepare for a ceremony.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Are they aware of _Skaikru_ ’s request?”

“Yes. There are those who do not fully support _Skaikru_ ’s involvement in the _kongeda_ , but they understand that we are facing another threat from the mountain, and _Skaikru_ has already proven itself capable of dealing with such.” She stopped and again, Clarke fell headlong into her eyes and the air between them seemed to still, waiting for something neither was quite sure how to start.

“I might have to go back to Mt. Weather,” she said, in an attempt to regain her footing in the space that crackled between them.

Lexa nodded again and this time, her expression said that she had anticipated this.

A knock sounded at the door before either of them could address the statement further. “Clarke,” came Kane’s voice from the corridor.

“Yeah,” she said and he opened it. “I’ve got a signal. Raven—” he seemed to finally register that Lexa was in the room, as well. “Commander,” he said with a nod.

“Go,” Lexa said to her.

“You, too,” Clarke said, and Kane stared at her, surprised.

“This affects Polis, as well. And there might be a message from Indra.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

Clarke and Lexa followed Kane into the corridor, across the way to the room Octavia had used.

“Raven did something to boost the signal.” He picked up the radio. “Go ahead,” he said.

“Is Clarke there?” Raven’s voice was faint, but clear.

She picked up the radio. “I’m here. What’s going on?”

“Sanders took a group of people to Mt. Weather.”

Clarke’s stomach clenched. “When?”

“A couple of hours ago.”

“How many?”

“Twenty.”

“Where’s Pike?”

“Don’t know. I think he’s already at the mountain. There are maybe twenty more people at Arkadia who want Abby to step down as Chancellor. They’re demanding elections.”

Her gaze met Kane’s and he shook his head. Lexa’s expression remained impassive, but Clarke knew she wasn’t missing anything.

“They want Sanders as Chancellor?”

“Yeah. And they want Pike to replace Sinclair. They’re also trying to get Abby off the council completely and put another of theirs in, which means it’s three to one against Kane. They’ll probably force him out, too. And they want to leave Arkadia and base in the mountain. Basically, another set of assholes there. Just like old times,” she added, sarcastic.

Clarke chewed her lip. Everything they’d been hypothesizing was already under way. “Where’s Indra?”

“She followed Sanders to Mt. Weather. Octavia and Lincoln went with her. She said as soon as they have an idea of what’s going on they’ll send word to Lexa. If you can pass a message to Lexa—”

“She’s here. What the message?”

“Indra suspects Ice Nation has enough warriors gathered around here to attack Arkadia. She has _Trikru_ positioned, too, but she’s trying not to make it look like that. Once she sees what’s going on at the mountain, she’ll come back to Arkadia. She has some warriors near the mountain, and she said to give her two days, but if something happens at Arkadia, her forces will defend us.”

Clarke caught Lexa’s eye and she knew they were both thinking the same thing. Nia was most likely going to attack Arkadia or at least threaten to do it to force Lexa’s hand.

“What about Bellamy?” she asked.

“He’s still here, running interference for Abby and Indra told him to increase defenses here. But he needs a plan, Clarke. Abby isn’t sure what to do about the mountain and she’s waiting for official word of the alliance.”

“Tell her it’s official. Kane and I are meeting with the council tomorrow. But tell her that Sky Crew is not allowed to base in Mt. Weather. That’s one of the conditions.”

“Clarke, it’s Bellamy. What does that mean, about Sky Crew? What about medical supplies?”

“You can’t access them anyway, with Sanders in the mountain,” she said.

“So what do we do about that? Sanders doesn’t support an alliance.”

“Then Sanders is no longer Sky Crew. And anyone who goes with him to the mountain is no longer Sky Crew.”

“You’re serious.”

Kane held out his hand and Clarke gave him the radio, already feeling her frustration ratchet up.

“Bellamy, it’s Kane. What’s the situation with this election they’re threatening to call?”

“They need a majority of people at Arkadia to agree to it and they don’t have it. Plus, Abby’s got people supporting an alliance with Lexa, especially with Ice Nation hanging around.”

“Okay. The plan right now is to lock Arkadia down and prepare for an attack from Ice Nation.”

Clarke stared at him.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s voice crackled through the radio and Kane handed it back to her.

“I’m here. We already know what Sanders and Pike are doing, and we know that Ice Nation is capitalizing on it. So start preparing, like Kane said.”

“Already started doing that. We’ve seen evidence of large groups of warriors in the area around here, and Lincoln and Indra say it’s Ice Nation.”

“What did Sanders say before he left?”

“He said basically that everybody will be safer in the mountain, and that you can’t trust Grounders.”

She grimaced. “He’s working with Ice Nation. Lexa’s scouts saw him meet with Ice Nation scouts outside the perimenter and there’s someone who might be from Arkadia or possibly a survivor from another station working with them, too.”

“Are you sure?”

Clarke could visualize Bellamy, skepticism across his features, forcing her to work harder to convince him.

“The man has short hair, no beard, no scars, no tattoos, and he wears a jacket like the Guard only it’s a different color. Lexa’s scouts saw him with Ice Nation warriors talking to Sanders, and Indra knows about it, too. And Bellamy, they’ve got codes.”

Pause. “What do you mean? What codes?”

“They’re able to open the main doors at Mt. Weather. If they’ve got that code, they might have others, for the weapons systems.”

This time, there was a long period of static and crackles. Clarke stared at the radio, willing it to work. Lexa stood close enough to touch, which provided some comfort but she had to remind herself not to actually touch her. Not here, not now.

“It’s Raven again. Are you serious about the codes?”

“Yeah. Lexa’s scouts saw the main doors open and close and we know Arkadia doesn’t use them for supply runs because you don’t have the code for them.”

“Who’s helping them do that? Because of the people at Arkadia right now who have those skills, I can vouch for all of them. They’re not going to the mountain.”

Clarke’s grip tightened on the radio. “Somebody is. You have to find out who. Put Bellamy back on.”

Another few seconds of soft crackling ensued and then Bellamy’s voice returned. “If somebody here is helping break codes at Mt. Weather, we’ll find them. And don’t worry about us. Raven’s got a few things she’d like to try out on any potential attackers.”

“Okay. Tomorrow we finalize some kind of alliance and then I’ll come back to Arkadia. Shouldn’t be more than a day or two.”

Kane’s eyes widened but Lexa showed no emotion.

“That’s too dangerous,” Bellamy said in the flat no-compromise tone he had.

“It’s too dangerous not to, and you know it. We’ll have the backing of _Trikru_ and other clans that’ll help if Ice Nation does attack. Besides, we have to shut down the mountain for good. If we don’t, they could launch missiles at Arkadia and Polis and whoever else if we don’t agree to work with them.”

“We can argue about that later,” he said. “The mountain has stuff we could use, that will help not just us, but Grounders.”

“You’re right. We’ll argue about it later. But I’m right about it.”

He laughed. “Never a dull moment with you,” he said. “Okay, I’ve got to get things in order here.”

“Don’t mention that I’m coming back, Bellamy. Nobody but you and Raven know that. It’ll be easier for me to get there and to get inside if only you and Raven know.”

“Fine,” he said. “Work your way around back. I’ll have somebody there. I’ll tell them to expect someone, but I won’t say who.”

“Let us know if anything changes. Kane has the radio.”

“Roger that,” Raven responded and the connection went dead.

Clarke gave the radio to Kane and he glared at her. “What do you mean, you’re returning to Arkadia?”

“You need my help to shut down the mountain.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said. We shut it down so nobody can use it for anything.”

“Bellamy’s right. What about medical supplies? And other things we can use?”

“If we can get a bunch out, fine. But the only way to prevent people like Sanders and Pike from doing what’s happening now is to make sure the mountain stays shut down.”

“I don’t think I can get Abby to agree to that.”

“She has to. We’re going to be the thirteenth clan. No clan is going to support anybody living in the mountain after what happened there. I thought ending the Mountain Men was good enough, but it’s not. I have to end the mountain, too.” An old, familiar weight filled her chest and she clenched her jaws.

“Clarke speaks true,” Lexa said. “I cannot ensure an alliance or entry into the _kongeda_ if _Skaikru_ allows its people to occupy the mountain.”

“Even if we don’t support the people in it now?”

“That’s not the point, Kane,” Clarke said. “The point is, Sanders and Pike are going to use the mountain to leverage everybody else. And if we allow it to happen and don’t shut the mountain down for good, then somebody else will do it from Arkadia or maybe other survivors from the Ark. We will constantly be dealing with our people laying the groundwork for war.” It ate at her, that Sky Crew could be like the Mountain Men in that regard.

“What if we got assurances—”

“No.” Clark’s response was hard and fell like a blade. “Not after what happened there to Lexa’s people. Any of our people who try to live in the mountain are insulting the memories of everybody who suffered and died there. And some of them were our people. We can’t allow that to happen. It endangers our position in the _kongeda_ and only creates tensions that we will not be able to defuse with alliances.” She was suddenly extremely tired and she realized that her left arm was, in fact, sore from the knife-throwing earlier. It added to her frustration and anxiety.

“We can do nothing more right now,” Lexa said, as if she sensed Clarke’s mood. “Tomorrow we will prepare to bring _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_. _Markus kom Skaikru_ , do you require anything further this evening?”

“No,” he said, apparently recognizing that the conversation was over. “Thank you, Commander.”

“Very well. Clarke? Do you require anything further?”

“I don’t think so.” But she did. She required Lexa’s arms around her, and the warmth of her skin and soft reassurances as she sank into sleep, untroubled by ghosts. She needed that more than ever now, with the mountain again looming, and it should have given her pause that she wanted comfort from Lexa—craved it—in spite of their shared history there. But it didn’t and tonight, at least, she didn’t want to attempt to understand why.

“Then I bid you both good night. The council meets after morning meal. I will ensure you are both prepared for it.” She pinned Clarke with a gaze that said much more than her words did before she stepped into the corridor.

Clarke turned back to Kane. He spoke before she did.

“Get some sleep. Lexa’s right. We can’t do anything right now.”

She nodded and gave him a smile. “Good night. And though I know you probably don’t think so right now, I’m glad you’re here.”

He smiled back. “We’ll figure out a way to get through this. We always do.”

“Yeah.” She left and closed the door behind her, intensely relieved to see Lexa still in the corridor, speaking to one of her guards. She waited until the guard left and Lexa turned toward her.

“Could we talk later tonight, _Heda_ , if you have a moment?”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Of course. I must attend to a few things first, but then I’ll come by.”

“ _Mochof_.” She went into her quarters and automatically prepared for bed though prickles of nervous energy and anxiety threatened to prevent her from sleeping. She opened the balcony doors to another light rain, but she liked the way it smelled. Candle flames bounced and danced in the breeze, and threw shadows that moved against the walls, like live things, like animals in the forest. Clarke stared through the rain into the night, and it seemed the mountain whispered its taunts to her, told her she would never be free of it.

The soft knock at her door jerked her back to Polis. “Come in,” she said, and Lexa entered, wearing another loose shirt and form-fitting trousers. It occurred to Clarke that when Lexa was done with her duties each day, she preferred to be barefoot. At least now, when winter hadn’t set it. She treasured these glimpses Lexa offered of herself, but they were painful, too, because soon she would be leaving, and she wasn’t at all sure what role Lexa would play during this new crisis.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Clarke said.

Lexa joined her at the doorway to the balcony. “You’re doing what is best for your people.”

“What if the clan council rejects us?”

“It won’t.”

She studied her features. “How do you know that?”

“I am _Heda_ ,” she said with a shrug.

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Did you seriously just say that to me?”

A wicked little sparkle danced in her eyes and another of her half-smiles raised the corner of her mouth. “You are _Klark kom Skaikru_. You made your wishes clear earlier and I have learned that once you make a decision, that is the way of things. I have worked to ensure that your wishes are met.”

She laughed, and it helped defuse her anxieties. “Are you saying I’m stubborn?”

“Mmm,” she verbalized, noncommittal.

Clarke laughed again. She enjoyed this hidden side to her, the one that teased and put her at ease. She stared out into the rain again, but Lexa stood close enough that she felt her body heat and she enjoyed that, too, and the unspoken potential in her proximity. “So the council will accept _Skaikru_?”

“I have spoken with some on the council, and though there may be some reservations among others, the actions of Sanders and _Azgeda_ have swayed them. As did you.”

“What do you mean? I haven’t actually addressed the council. At least not directly,” she added, remembering her brief encounter with Atlan earlier in the day.

Lexa turned toward her. “The council observes through many channels.”

She thought about the days she had spent in Polis, and her interactions with Balta and others. Something occurred to her. “Is Balta on the council?”

“No. But she is someone I trust, and she is also someone several on the council trust. You may trust her, as well.” She looked out over the city. “ _Wanheda_ has demonstrated that she is worthy of the respect people give to her title. I knew this already. But it had to be shown to others.”

Clarke studied her profile, thinking about all the ways Lexa had worked to both protect and elevate her, and how doing so had provided a means to try to ensure the safety of both their people. “The ceremony involves an oath of fealty, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. And a bloodletting.”

“Excuse me?”

“From your hand, Clarke. You must draw it yourself. If you like, I will sharpen your new knife.” She said it with exaggerated patience, teasing her to put her at ease.

“Then what?”

“Do not worry. I will guide you through.”

“Good to know.” She flashed Lexa a smile of assurance. She’d shed plenty of blood. What was a little more? “What’s Kane’s role?”

“He will have to bleed, as well. And then perhaps he will take the mark.”

She frowned. “There’s a mark? What mark?”

“The symbol of the _kongeda_. As a representative, you or Kane must take it.” She took Clarke’s hand and turned her arm over and placed her fingertips on her forearm. “Here. A hot iron. It leaves a mark, like the scars of _Azgeda_.”

“Were you planning on telling me these things?”

“I’m telling you now.”

Clarke rubbed her forehead with her free hand, since she liked how Lexa’s fingers felt on the other.

“I had hoped there would be more time to tell you what to expect.” She stared out into the night, and much to Clarke’s disappointment, let go of her arm. After a long silence, she looked at Clarke again. “The oath of fealty requires that you kneel to me.”

Clarke nodded and looked past her. The rain fell in a steady cadence on the balcony. “That would have been more of an issue before I came to Polis.”

“And now?”

Clarke turned to look at her. “Not so much. But I would have done it before regardless, because what’s happening is not something Arkadia can face alone. And honestly, you need us to dismantle the weapons systems in the mountain if we have to. So yes. I, _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , will kneel to you, _Heda kom Trikru_ as the thirteenth clan seeking entrance into the _kongeda_. It’s the best option for my people and for yours.”

The symbolism of kneeling as _Wanheda_ would benefit them both, legitimizing her position to speak for _Skaikru_ and also Lexa’s, that _Wanheda_ would willingly kneel to the Commander of the twelve clans. This was not only the best option. It was the _only_ option that she could see, given the changing circumstances in which they found themselves. She saw acceptance and maybe trust in her decision in Lexa’s eyes, and her heart seemed to swell, seemed to fill with the implications of what would happen tomorrow, but she wasn’t even sure of all the meanings it might hold.

She fell silent and thought about all that had happened since she’d come to the ground. The rain-slicked balcony reflected a little of the candlelight, and when it did, the moisture seemed to shimmer. “Are you ever tired of all the things you have to do as a leader?” she asked.

Lexa looked at her. “Sometimes.”

“What do you do when that happens?”

“I go among my people to remind myself that they are the reason I do what I do as _Heda_.” She paused. “I must provide for them, protect them, guide them, and serve them. If I do these things well, then they freely give me their loyalty and respect. That which is given freely is always stronger than that which is forced.” She turned her face back to the night, and leaned her shoulder against the doorjamb, which took her farther away from Clarke, much to her disappointment.

“I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing, going back to the mountain.” Clarke stared out into the darkness and crossed her arms, as if that would somehow protect her from what she might face. “And I’m not sure I can, after what happened.”

“The dead will stop you only if you let them,” Lexa said softly.

Her throat tightened. “I can’t just forget.”

“No one forgets, Clarke.” She pushed off from the doorjamb. “We choose whether to allow our memories and our pain to keep us from doing what needs to be done.” Though her tone was level, her eyes told a much different story, one of weight no one person should have to carry, but she did, and had been doing it most of her life, without time to regroup, lest she lose face among her people. It was no wonder Lexa had built walls within herself, and wore armor beneath her surface. They were all she had to withstand the onslaught of the ghosts that walked with her and the prices she had paid.

And yet Lexa chose to let her see past both walls and armor, chose to lower her defenses, chose to be vulnerable to her. Clarke suddenly understood that there was courage in how Lexa acknowledged to her what she hadn’t verbalized—that Clarke had been right in her tent months ago—that yes, Clarke did see right through her, in ways that perhaps nobody had, since love and loss left her with little more than material to build a fortress around her heart, a fortress that allowed her to make decisions like the one at the mountain. But somehow, Clarke had breached her walls. Somehow, she had found a way in. And somehow, looking at her now, Lexa had known she would.

Clarke moved closer, until there were mere inches between them. Lexa regarded her, a mixture of uncertainty and much more in her gaze. She didn’t move when Clarke slowly grasped her hand and ran her thumb over the back of it. Nor did she move when Clarke let go of her hand and trailed her fingers up her arm to her shoulder. She might have trembled, but she remained still, letting Clarke guide this wordless conversation, and Clarke placed her hand carefully on her chest, just below her collar bone, palm flat. The warmth of Lexa’s skin seemed to seep through her shirt into her fingers, and she sensed the beat of the Commander’s heart, sure and deep.

She stared into Lexa’s eyes, inviting her to respond, and she did. She covered Clarke’s hand with hers, and with her other, she brushed a strand of hair out of Clarke’s face, her fingers grazing her cheek. The touch was light and all too brief, and then she lowered her hand, her expression signaling that the next interaction was Clarke’s to make.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheek, tentative, her gaze on Lexa’s, seeking assurance. She got it when Lexa gently squeezed her other hand, still against her chest, so she traced the line of Lexa’s jaw with her fingertips, but stopped just before her lips because she wasn’t sure she was ready for the onslaught of emotions and sensations that might bring. Instead, she tracked to Lexa’s chin and back along her cheek to her ear and down the line of her neck. How could anyone stir so much within her, make her feel so much and so alive?

She moved her hand so that her fingers rested on the back of Lexa’s neck, her thumb lightly stroking the skin behind her ear, and she waited for Lexa’s response. It came a few moments later, when Lexa lifted her hand off Clarke’s where it rested against her chest and Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheeks with both hands while Lexa’s hands dropped to her hips and pulled her close, igniting fires across her skin, and much deeper within. Clarke wasn’t sure who leaned in first, or whether it was by mutual, unspoken agreement, but Lexa’s lips briefly brushed hers, soft and delicate, the hint of a promise. She stopped, her breath hot and fast against Clarke’s mouth, even now giving her room to decide what she wanted.

The gesture made her ache anew, and she sank into Lexa’s gaze, into the questions and hope she saw there, before she pulled her in and kissed her like the first time, a gentle, tentative exploration that made her pulse pound, made her hungry for much, much more.

She deepened the kiss and moved her lips against Lexa’s like she wouldn’t get another chance, like everything in the world was this moment, this chance to sink herself into the space between them and hang on for as long as she could. Lexa’s hold on Clarke’s hips tightened and she answered with a slow, delicious assault across her mouth that Clarke knew totally ruined her, that completely destroyed any boundary she might have wanted to keep. But she didn’t care because all she ever wanted was right here, as Lexa kissed her with the tenderness of a heart finally freed and held her with the purpose of a woman coming home.

Lexa stopped and rested her forehead against Clarke’s, trembling beneath her hands. She drew a shaky breath and Clarke cupped her cheek again, overwhelmed and aching with need and want, Lexa’s skin warm beneath her palm.

“Clarke,” she whispered. “I—” she stopped and bit her lower lip, expression full of so many things, of amazement, of relief and desire, of worry and uncertainty, of things neither of them was ready to say.

“I know. I’m here.” Clarke stroked her cheek, knowing that everything she saw in Lexa’s eyes was mirrored in her own. “It’s okay.” She wanted Lexa to see it, wanted Lexa to understand that she wasn’t alone in this, that the connection between them was real and that she felt it, too.

And as she watched, a tear coursed down Lexa’s cheek.

Clarke reverently kissed its path, only too aware of the significance of what she was seeing, and gently caught the next one on her fingertip before she pulled Lexa in, sensing the storm behind the warrior’s walls. She held her close, content in her arms, content in the connection that bound them, wanting Lexa to know that whatever happened next was her choice to make.

They stood thus, Clarke vaguely aware of the chill of the night rain still falling on the balcony just beyond. But she was warm and safe in Lexa’s embrace, though she shivered with pleasure when Lexa kissed her neck, a single, slow touch of her lips and then a careful tightening of her embrace and a soft sigh that carried a hint of frustration.

“You should sleep,” Lexa said. She traced Clarke’s jaw, her expression at odds with her statement, and Clarke knew she wanted her rested so she could deal with the clan council in the morning, but it wasn’t what Lexa currently felt. What she saw in Lexa’s eyes echoed the deep, molten ache that seemed to consume every part of her.

“Is that what you really want?”

“No. But what I want isn’t necessarily the best option right now.”

Clarke smiled. “In other circumstances?”

“My answer would be very different.” She smiled back.

“I needed to hear that.”

“And I needed to say it.” She ran her thumb over Clarke’s lower lip and the touch seemed to race from her mouth to her thighs, leaving her heart pounding in its wake.

“Stay with me."

Lexa’s expression shifted to guarded and Clarke slid her hands to her hips. “Nothing else. Just stay.”

She relaxed, and her gaze softened, as if trying to articulate things she had no business saying.

“I know,” Clarke said as she brushed a strand of hair out of Lexa's face. “You’re always _Heda_.”

“I am. But I hope our circumstances change very soon.”

Clarke laughed softly. “Me, too.” She took Lexa’s hand in one of hers and with the other she shut the balcony doors before she led her to the bed. This time, there was no hesitation, no attempt to keep a chaste space between them. Lexa pulled her close and Clarke nestled against her, burning within but strangely at peace, however uncertain she was about the ramifications of what had happened here.

Lexa stroked her hair, and she relaxed even more. Whatever came of this night, it was enough for now, and something she knew neither of them would forget.

“Clarke,” she said, her voice soft near her ear.

“Yeah?”

“I may always be _Heda_ , but it does not change what I feel.”

Clarke’s chest tightened with emotions she didn’t know how to voice. Instead, she kissed Lexa’s fingers, entangled with her own, and gently squeezed. “It doesn’t change what I feel, either.”

Lexa pressed her lips against Clarke’s forehead. “Sleep,” she said, and Clarke did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, as you can see, there is not-so-good stuff afoot. Oh, and there's another person in the mix--you'll find out in a future chapter.
> 
> This chapter also involves a new level of slightly deeper emotional and physical intimacy between Clarke and Lexa. And it was a really hard scene to write because I wanted to make sure I captured it effectively. I honestly don't know if I have. I re-wrote it many, many times.
> 
> It's a special scene for me, what happens here, and I hope you feel even a little bit of what I tried to impart. I left it the way I did because of who these women are, and how they've been very careful with each other. Even when Lexa kissed Clarke for the first time back in her tent, it was careful. It was soft and gentle, a testing of what Clarke was willing to accept and willing to return. When Clarke broke if off and said she wasn't ready, Lexa immediately backed off. She's always been that way with Clarke, always allowed Clarke to set the parameters of their interactions in many regards.
> 
> Here, I wanted more of a give-and-take, of a dialogue with more actions than words in which Clarke pushes Lexa a little, and in which Lexa accepts her invitation, to a point.
> 
> But remember, Lexa is patient. And generally, she always gets what she wants. ;)
> 
> So I hope these feelz tide you over. And I hope you, too, are able to get a sense of the connection these two women share, and what it could mean.
> 
> A huge shout-out to all y'all for sticking with me. Lots more to come, friends. Don't even worry! Thanks for all the comments and kudos, and I will answer the former as soon as I can, but I'm giving Clarke and Lexa a little privacy, so I'm hanging with some of the scouts outside the city. Don't worry. I'll respond when I can! And you can always hit me up on the Twitterz: @andimarquette
> 
> Songz that made me kind of weepy and mushy as I wrote this chapter: Majik, "Closer" (so many feelz); Moda Spira, "She Whispers" (omg you guyz all the feelz)


	32. Time Is of the Essence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news from both Ice Nation and Arkadia forces a council meeting, and what to do about an alliance with Skaikru or whether to let them join the kongeda. Lexa also has a little chat with Gonin and then another with Jos.

At the knock on the door, Lexa immediately woke up and she carefully tried to slip out of the warmth of Clarke’s arms without waking her. Clarke mumbled something and rolled over and Lexa regarded her for a moment, her chest filling with a variety of emotions, and all of them about the need for more time with her. Instead, she went to the door, the floor cold beneath her feet, and opened it. At the sight of the guard, she stepped into the corridor.

“Speak,” she said.

“ _Heda_ , the scouts have returned from _Azgeda_.”

She frowned. “It is not even first light. They rode through the dark?”

“ _Sha_. _Em set raun strik wogeda_.” 1

She nodded. “ _Tel em op_ , _ai na kom op_.” 2

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He jogged toward the lift and Lexa went immediately to her quarters where she dressed quickly. When she finished with her chest plate she put on her coat and fastened the buckles then pulled her boots on. As she finished with the last of a few braids, someone knocked on her door. She didn’t bother with facepaint. Not yet.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” she said as she slid her knives into her belt sheaths.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked when she entered. She still wore the clothing in which she had been sleeping. A button had come loose, and exposed her neckline to the tops of her breasts. Lexa stared for a beat, then quickly looked at her face.

“The scouts have returned from _Azgeda_.”

“Now?” Her expression registered immediate concern.

“Mmm. Dress. Wake Kane and tell him to do the same.”

“Okay. Where will you be?”

“The meeting room. Your guard will bring you.”

She nodded and left, and Lexa was glad that Clarke understood urgency. She moved into the corridor seconds after Clarke, and took the stairwell to the meeting room floor, three guards with her. All of the scouts who had accompanied Krio were present, as were most of the clan representatives, Tam, Wash, and Titus. All murmured formal greetings and nodded.

She moved to the head of the table, near the windows. Almost all the candles in the room had been lit. Dawn was not even a suggestion beyond the mountains. “Titus,” she said.

“ _Heda_ , there is news from _Azgeda_. Arling will address you.”

“Speak,” she said, her gaze locking onto him.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. We arrived at _Azgeda_ yesterday. _Plana_ Nia was not there to receive the formal request.”

“You are certain it was not just a refusal?”

“ _Sha_. She is traveling to Arkadia.”

Lexa’s throat tightened but she revealed nothing. “What of Krio?”

“Dead,” Tam said. “An _Azgeda_ archer.”

Murmurs circulated among a few clan representatives. They faded as quickly as they had started when she glanced at them. “Was Krio deliberately targeted?”

“We believe so. One shot taken.”

 _Azgeda_ did not wish Krio to speak. Nia had been willing to sacrifice him. “Where is this archer?”

“Dead as well, a mile from _Azgeda_. By my hand. He did not say why he killed Krio.”

Lexa shifted her gaze to Arling. “When did Nia leave for Arkadia?”

“The morning we left for _Azgeda_. I sent two of Tam’s scouts there as soon as I found out, and the third to find Indra.”

Lexa thought for a moment, calculating how long it would take Nia with a contingent of warriors to get to Arkadia. She addressed Arling again. “Who told you that Nia had gone to Arkadia?”

“ _Stoyin kom Azgeda_.” 3

One of Nia’s closest advisors, and not to be trusted. “Did you speak with anyone else about Nia’s destination?” Her meaning was clear. She had two spies in _Azgeda_ , but in order to protect their identities, any mention of them was handled delicately.

“ _Sha_. All said Nia left for Arkadia, but they also said that there is a possibility that this is what she wished people to think.”

“Send two scouts to _Maun-de_ ,” Lexa said to Wash. “Tell them Nia may be on her way there with warriors. If this is the case, one scout will return to Polis to inform me. The other will remain at the mountain. Send another scout to Indra with the names of the first two. Now.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He left and seconds after he did, Clarke and Kane entered.

Lexa acknowledged them with a nod and all gazes turned toward the doorway. “ _Em laik 4 Klark kom Skaikru_,” Lexa said, then added, “ _Em laik Markus kom Skaikru_.” To Clarke and Kane, she added, “I will inform you later of what was said.”

Clarke nodded back and took a position near the doorway, Kane next to her. The remaining three clan representatives entered, expressions grim. They joined their fellows.

“Is there any word about who the man is among _Skaikru_ who helps Nia?” Lexa asked Arling.

“Krio did not have a chance to tell us,” he said blandly. “Others we spoke with in _Azgeda_ say the man helping them is not _Skaikru_. He looks like _Skaikru_ , but he can speak some Trigedasleng and—” here he paused, “Reaper.”

Lexa looked at Clarke. A survivor from the mountain? Clarke’s brow furrowed, puzzled.

“ _Heda_ ,” Wash said from the doorway, and his expression conveyed the pressing nature of his interruption. “ _Mora kom Trikru_ has arrived from Arkadia.” He stepped aside and she strode in, wearing signs of both travel and battle.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said as she approached. Blood streaked her forehead. She dipped her head. “ _Azgeda_ has attacked a patrol from Arkadia. It happened this past evening.”

Both Clarke and Kane stared, horror etched on both their faces. After all, they had just spoken to Arkadia. Clearly, the news of the attack did not arrive at Arkadia until much later.

Lexa’s fingers tightened on the hilt of one of her knives. “What happened?”

“A patrol came across _Azgeda_ scouts within the perimeter. The scouts attacked, but Indra had told _Trikru_ scouts to follow every patrol. I was one of those following this particular patrol. We were able to stop the attack, but _Azgeda_ took prisoners.”

Clarke’s gaze was practically burning a hole in Mora’s back.

“Who?”

“ _Monti kom Skaikru_ 5 and _Jaspa kom Skaikru_ 6. There were two others, but we do not know who.”

Kane ran his hands through his hair. “Where did they go?” he asked and several people looked at him disapprovingly. “My apologies, Commander, for the interruption. I hope you understand,” he added hurriedly.

Lexa motioned for Mora to continue.

“We attempted to follow, but were attacked by another group of _Azgeda_ scouts. I do not think they are being taken to _Azgeda_. I think they will be taken to the mountain.”

“Why would _Skaikru_ take its own people prisoner?” _Hamza kom Sankru_ 7 asked. He had not embraced Lexa’s ascent to power, but had come to agree with a few of her decisions.

“Perhaps the _Skaikru_ who have decided to occupy the mountain seek something to bargain with.” Lexa looked back at Mora. “What has Indra decided?”

“She has sent scouts to try to locate those who were taken. She has also reinforced Arkadia, both inside and outside. There are _Trikru_ among _Skaikru_.”

Lexa nodded, grimly satisfied. She looked at Clarke. “Go. Try to contact Arkadia on your radio.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said. “ _Ai na tel yu op, chit osir fig au_.” 8 She left, Kane with her, and Lexa looked at Atlan, who gave her a barely perceptible nod of approval. Other clan representatives appeared mildly surprised by Clarke’s use of the language. Hamza said something to the _Delfikru_ representative—another of Lexa’s frequent detractors—and he nodded.

“Clarke and Kane have tech that may allow them to speak with Arkadia,” Lexa explained. “Is there anything further the scouts need to report?”

“No, _Heda_ ,” Arling and Tam said on one accord.

“ _Heda_ ,” Atlan said. “May I speak?”

“ _Sha_.” Lexa motioned for her to do so.

“Might we implement an alliance with _Skaikru_ immediately, and conduct a ceremony later?”

The room fell silent and Lexa gauged the mood. She had hoped Atlan would broach this topic. It was better coming from her, because where _Skaikru_ was concerned, Lexa had to walk carefully. She saw nothing overtly hostile, though Hamza and Danyel, of _Delfikru_ , frowned. “Continue,” she said.

“We know that there are some among _Skaikru_ who seek to occupy the mountain.”

“Because _Skaikru_ are like the _Maunon_.” Danyel glared at Atlan in challenge. “Even the _Fleimkepa_ has said as much.” He motioned at Titus with his chin. “How can we be sure that the whole of Arkadia does not seek to live in the mountain?” Here he turned his gaze to Lexa.

“ _Abi kom Skaikru_ has honored the agreements with _Trikru_ in the wake of _Wanheda_ ’s actions at the mountain,” she said. “She also has agreed to an alliance that will benefit the _kongeda_ and Arkadia. The Chancellor of Arkadia has no interest in occupying the mountain. She is a healer, and seeks medical supplies and replacement parts for tech at Arkadia. Nothing more.”

“What of this _Skaikru_ in the mountain?” Danyel pressed. “Do they not now have tech that will once again threaten us?”

“Yes,” Atlan said. “That is why we should allow the _Skaikru_ at Arkadia to enter an alliance with us or the _kongeda_. They, too, are threatened by their fellows who are now _natrona_ to them. Those in the mountain are not only a threat to _Skaikru_. They are a threat to Polis—to all of us.” Atlan was naturally persuasive, which was why Lexa encouraged her to take the lead in discussions like this.

“There is no time for a formal ceremony,” _Ferris kom Trishana_ 9 said. He was one of the tallest in the room, and his voice rumbled from his chest like distant thunder. Ferris had survived many battles through the years, and had come to understand and value Lexa’s quest for peace, but he often did not express his support of her publicly, which both of them used to their advantage. “Will _Skaikru_ honor entrance into the _kongeda_ or an alliance without a ceremony, as we address what occurs at the mountain and Nia’s role in it?” he said to Lexa.

Hamza and Danyel whispered to each other.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ does not want Arkadia in the mountain. She is opposed to it and seeks to ensure that it will not happen,” Lexa said.

“It’s already happening.” Danyel’s voice was a papery rasp. He was the oldest of the clan representatives, and had been a gifted warrior in his youth.

“By _natrona_ _kom_ _Skaikru_ 10. _Wanheda_ destroyed the _Maunon_.” Lexa paused. “She now seeks to destroy _Maun-de_.”

A heavy, shocked silence blanketed the room.

“But to do this, _Wanheda_ needs the support of the _kongeda_.”

“That requires something stronger than an alliance,” Ferris said.

“Yes. _Skaikru_ thus seeks entrance as the thirteenth clan.”

Murmurs circulated among those gathered.

“ _Heda_.”

The murmurs dissipated at Atlan’s voice.

“Speak.”

“I address my fellow clan representatives. _Wanheda_ does not come to her decisions lightly, but she comes to them out of necessity, and out of a need to protect not only her own people, but those who may be drawn into bloodshed. She understands that there are those among _Skaikru_ who will not honor agreements with _Trikru_ or any clan, so she seeks to remove temptation from them. If we grant _Skaikru_ entrance to the _kongeda_ , it will enable us all to do away with _Maun_ - _de_ , which is something I know many of you have been concerned about. I, too, have worried that some among _Skaikru_ would seek to live in the mountain. They do not have the history there that the clans do.”

More murmurs.

“But,” Atlan continued, “ _Wanheda_ saw this history. She, too, was a prisoner of the _Maunon_. She understands.”

“What of Nia?” Hamza was not as old as Danyel, but an old injury had left him stooped, and he appeared older. “If it is true that she aids those in the mountain, then _Azgeda_ is at odds with the _kongeda_. Already, it appears they seek war with _Skaikru_.”

Atlan glanced at Lexa, clearly seeking direction.

“ _Hamza kom Sankru_ asks a good question,” Lexa said. “Should _Skaikru_ become the thirteenth clan, _Azgeda_ would have no allies beyond the _natrona_ from Arkadia, since Nia has yet to join the _kongeda_. But any decisions made regarding _Azgeda_ following _Skaikru_ ’s entrance will be contingent on the council.”

“ _Heda_.” A wiry woman who reminded Lexa of Indra stepped forward, since she was partially blocked by Ferris. He moved aside.

Lexa nodded, surprised that this clan representative would speak. She rarely did, but when it happened, her statements carried weight. “ _Sha_ , _Gani kom Podakru_.”

“If _Skaikru_ will honor the _kongeda_ and abide by its rules, I see no reason not to include them. For too many years we have dealt with the machinations of Nia, and it seems in all our interests to isolate her and the _natrona_ _kom Skaikru_. Even representatives of _Skaikru_ wish to do away with those who seek the mountain. They are willing to do this, and willing to join with the _kongeda_ against Nia, who has sent her warriors to attack them without provocation. I have my reservations about _Skaikru_ , but I will not dismiss what they did against the _Maunon_.” She finished and glanced around those gathered. Ferris looked first at Atlan, then at Lexa.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said.

“Speak.”

“I will support a decision to bring _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_ , and I understand should we hasten the entrance in order to address the circumstances we currently face. I seek assurances, however, about a formal ceremony as soon as possible. We cannot absolve _Skaikru_ of responsibilities to our ways.”

Lexa nodded. He was right to make the request, since a ceremony would be witnessed by many more and involved specific rituals. Traditions were important, she knew, and the more _Skaikru_ adhered to them, the better the chance they would be welcomed as a clan. Clarke and Kane would willingly undergo a ceremony, she knew. How that would be received by the rest of Arkadia was a piece still in play.

“I, too, will support such a decision, but under the conditions that Ferris has outlined.”

Lexa could barely contain her surprise at Hamza’s pronouncement. She gave him a solemn nod.

“I stand with Ferris and Hamza,” said Gani.

“And I.” Atlan stepped forward. “This seems the best course of action to prevent more bloodshed than necessary.”

One by one, the other clan representatives voiced their agreement with regard to _Skaikru_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_ immediately, but with the condition that there would be a future formal binding ceremony with proper witnesses. Lexa approved, because if there were not a ceremony, there were those among the clans who would assume she was attempting to override tradition, and even in the wake of the mountain, she understood the value of traditions and the stability they offered, no matter how illusory they really were.

All attention turned to Danyel, since he had yet to announce his decision. “I require assurances, _Heda_ , that _Skaikru_ seeks to honor the _kongeda_. They must swear fealty before us this day, and then undergo a ceremony at a later time, as my fellows have requested.”

Crafty old man. Atlan looked at him, disapproving, but Lexa’s expression did not change. “Very well,” she said, secretly pleased at his expression to her agreement, which indicated she had knocked him off balance. He hadn’t expected her response. She raised her gaze. “Will an oath of fealty and a blood bond without a formal ceremony serve all as assurance of _Skaikru_ ’s intentions to join the _kongeda_ and undergo a formal ceremony at a later time? All who disagree, speak.”

No one did.

“It is thus decided. I will make the council’s wishes known to the _Skaikru_ representatives and then notify all of you. _Mochof_.” The room filled with quiet conversations, and Wash shut the doors to the corridor. Lexa joined Titus in the back of the room.

“What of the other matter at _Azgeda_?”

“Arling located Jos’s children. They are safe.”

“He saw them?”

“ _Sha_ , at the house Jos described. They appear healthy. They gave him a message.”

“Mmm. I would speak with Gonin now,” she said. “And then Jos.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Yumi gyon au_.” 11 He waited for her to precede him to the door and the others gathered moved aside for her, saying her title and nodding in respect as she passed. She acknowledged them all, because she had almost the entire clan council ready to accept _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_.

The oath of fealty was another matter. Lexa knew Clarke would take it for her people, and that she understood the value of symbolism. However, it was a condition—no matter how mildly voiced—on the _kongeda_ coming to _Skaikru_ ’s immediate aid. No matter the connection between them, no matter how much she ached for it, the mountain was still an unhealed wound between them.

She stepped onto the lift, Titus and six guards with her, and considered her next move.

  
1 _Em set raun strik wogeda_ : They wait in the small meeting room (literally, “small chamber”)   
2 _Tel em op_ , _ai na kom op_ : Tell them I’m coming   
3 _Stoyin kom Azgeda_ : Stoyin of/from _Azgeda_   
4 _Em laik…_ [name]: She is/he is [name] (you guys know this one!)   
5 _Monti kom Skaikru_ : Monty of/from Sky Crew   
6 _Jaspa kom Skaikru_ : Jasper of/from Sky Crew   
7 _Hamza kom Sankru_ : Hamza of/from Sand Crew/Clan   
8 _Ai na tel yu op, chit osir fig au_ : I’ll tell you when we figure out/learn [what’s going on]   
9 _Ferris kom Trishana_ : Ferris of/from Trishana Crew (Glowing Forest Clan)   
10 _natron kom Skaikru_ : traitors of/from Sky Crew   
11 _Yumi gyon au_ : You and I will go   
Reminder: _Natrona_ means “traitor.”   
Reminder: _Maun-de_ is “Mt. Weather”

 

###

Lexa regarded Gonin in the light cast by the four torches, each held by a guard. He stood in a corner of his cell, hands and ankles shackled. He was not a man used to confinement. She sensed anger but also desperation. Grime and sweat streaked his face and she could smell the tang of a body long unwashed.

“ _Gonin kom Azgeda_ , tell me of this man Nia has enlisted who appears as _Skaikru_ but speaks Reaper.”

Pure shock registered on his features, to her satisfaction, but he remained silent. She held up her hand and one of the guards gave his torch to Titus, gripped Gonin’s wrist shackles, and hauled him to Lexa. He shoved him to his knees while another guard placed a wooden box on the floor next to him. The first guard grabbed one of Gonin’s hands and splayed it out across the surface of the box.

“I will ask you again,” Lexa said. “And then I will take a finger. Once I am finished with fingers, I will start on other parts.”

He stared at his hand, then up at her.

“Tell me of this man.”

He said nothing and she sighed and drew one of her knives. One guard held Gonin’s hand steady on the box and wrapped his other arm around his neck. Titus held his torch above both. Lexa stepped forward and moved so quickly that Gonin’s pinkie finger was already in the straw on the cell’s floor before he registered what she had done and then he grunted and wheezed as the pain hit him. Blood quickly soaked into the wood of the box. He jerked and struggled, gasping and groaning but the guard held him fast.

“Do you wish to tell me?” Lexa asked, her tone cold but conversational.

“He…is…of the mountain,” Gonin rasped, still writhing. “The last…of his kind.”

“His name?”

“Emerson.”

Lexa revealed nothing at that, but she knew him. He had helped with the deal that freed her people. This would not be good news for Clarke. “Why did he go to Nia?”

Gonin half-sobbed and Lexa moved toward him again. “Revenge,” Gonin managed. “He seeks to kill _Wanheda_.”

“What else?”

“He…wants to…use the tech in the mountain against _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_.”

“Why _Trikru_?”

He groaned before he spoke. “Because you helped _Skaikru_ and…he thinks you are dangerous. Nia said…she would help him destroy you.”

“And then she would be _Heda_?”

“Yes.”

“This is the bargain she has struck?”

He said nothing.

Lexa leaned in closer to him. “This _Maunon_ ,” she said. “Nia believes he will keep his word to her?”

Gonin stopped writhing for a moment, as if the thought that Emerson would betray Nia hadn’t occurred to him.

“Nia goes to _Maun-de_ with this man, where _natrona kom Skaikru_ wait.” She paused, to let him consider the ramifications of that and from his expression, she had been correct that Nia was not going to Arkadia, but to the mountain. “Perhaps these _natrona_ have a different deal with the _Maunon_ that your _plana_ is not aware of.”

He stared at her.

“It seems to me, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ , that Nia has endangered herself and the whole of _Azgeda_ by making deals with men who seek revenge or think us all savages, worthy of death. And yet you support her quest to be _Heda_.” She cocked her head, affecting an air of puzzlement. “Perhaps you and _Azgeda_ would be better served by someone who does not seek to make deals with _natrona_ and _splita_ ,12 and instead would focus on the safety and welfare of your people.”

She nodded at one of the other guards who immediately drew his own knife and held the blade in the flame of Titus’s torch. The guard who held Gonin’s hand on the box lifted it and the other guard placed the hot blade to the stump of Gonin’s finger. He let loose a strange keening through his clenched teeth and slumped. The guard released him and he fell back into the straw, moaning and clutching his injured hand to his chest.

“I may have further questions, _Gonin kom Azgeda_. I hope you are amenable to answering them.” She turned and left, followed closely by the guards and Titus. Once in the corridor, she strode to the stairwell with Titus and three guards.

“Do you know this _Maunon_ , this Emerson?” Titus asked as they walked.

“ _Sha_. He was one of their warriors, and close to Cage, their leader.”

“How is he able to be outside?”

She didn’t answer until they were in the lift. “The _Maunon_ did not only harvest our people. They harvested _Skaikru_. The marrow in _Skaikru_ bones proved the most effective for the _Maunon_.” Lincoln had told Indra this, confirmed through Octavia. The procedure, he said, was brutal and involved much pain and then death.

“And we are certain that this is the last of the _Maunon_?”

“ _Linkon kom Trikru_ killed Cage, their leader, but we were not as thorough as perhaps we should have been. However, Emerson works alone with Nia, which tells me that he most likely is the last.”

“Is _Skaikru_ blood _Natblida_?”

She looked at him. “No. But Clarke explained to me that living in the Ark exposed them to higher levels of radiation and different kinds than here, and their scientists helped create stronger blood to withstand it.”

He pursed his lips, thinking. Though Titus was often ritual-bound, he was interested in the inner workings of things. The lift stopped and she stepped off and walked down the corridor to a door at which two guards stood. One unlocked the door, brandished her sword, and opened it. She nodded and swung the door open.

Lexa walked in with her contingent. “ _Jos kom Azgeda_ ,” she said. “I would speak with you.”

Jos stood by a table at which she had been eating. “ _Heda_ ,” she said with a nod. “ _Mochof_ for allowing me to return to these quarters.”

Lexa motioned for her to sit and she did. “I must also inform you that _Kriyo kom Azgeda_ is dead, at the hands of one of Nia’s archers before arrival. Why might she do this?”

Jos’s eyebrows raised. Clearly, this was surprising news to her. “Krio was one of her advisors. Was the archer perhaps aiming for someone else?”

“It does not appear so. Who is Emerson?”

Her brow creased in thought. “I do not know.”

“You were not aware of a man with that name at _Azgeda_ before you came to Polis?”

“No, _Heda_. Perhaps he used a different name?”

“He would appear as _Skaikru_.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes, I know of this man, but I did not know his name. Six days before I left _Azgeda_ for Polis, scouts brought him in. He appeared ill and he had wounds. His face was burned from the sun. Nia kept him isolated, and I did not see him again.”

“She told you nothing of him before you left?” Lexa studied her, watching every movement, every tic.

“No. I saw him briefly, when he was first brought in on a horse. He looked like _Skaikru_. I asked the guards who he was, and they said that Nia was taking care of him and his situation and it was nothing to concern myself about.”

And if she had, Nia probably would have threatened her children. Or killed them. There was no point to Jos pushing Nia on something like that. “Do you recall any mention of _Maun-de_ before you came to Polis?”

“Yes.”

Lexa waited.

“After this man Emerson arrived, Nia sent scouts to the mountain. I knew one and asked him before he left where he was going. He told me, and said that Nia wanted to make sure that you— _Heda—_ weren’t using it against her.”

She kept her expression placid. “Did the scout say anything about _Skaikru_ using the mountain?”

“He said that you and _Skaikru_ had an agreement in place. _Skaikru_ would go to the mountain once every few weeks for supplies, but they would not stay. She wanted to ensure that this agreement was being honored.”

Lexa fought a scoff. The only reason Nia cared about the agreement was how she could use it for her own political gain. As soon as Emerson arrived, he probably offered her a deal and she capitalized on it. Krio probably knew of this, and Nia wanted to ensure that he didn’t talk, so she had him dispatched.

“Does Nia create trouble at the mountain?” Jos asked.

“It would appear so. Tell me what you know of _Roan kom Azgeda_.”

If she was surprised by this abrupt shift in the conversation, she gave no sign. “Nia’s only son, but their relationship has always been contentious.”

“Why?”

“He does not approve of how she leads _Azgeda_. He thinks she focuses too much on power for its own sake. When she learned of Ontari—” She stopped, then explained. “The _Natblida_ Nia keeps close.”

“Yes, I know of Ontari.”

“Nia refused to send her to Polis for training for the Conclave and instead kept her at _Azgeda_. She had no use for Roan after that, and Ontari became her focus.”

“Does she train her?”

“ _Sha_. She is attempting to make her as well-trained as the Novitiates who are here.”

Lexa pursed her lips, thinking. “She wishes to use Ontari to help her become _Heda_?”

Jos nodded. “It’s never talked about, but most people in _Azgeda_ know this.”

“How does Nia think the spirit of the Commander will choose Ontari?”

“I do not know,” she said, and Lexa saw in her eyes that she told the truth. “Perhaps Nia thinks that as long as she controls Ontari, she will also be able to control the spirit of the Commander if it chooses her.”

Such would not happen. Even if a _Fleimkepa_ was able to introduce the spirit of the Commander into Ontari, it would not allow for another to control it via external means. “Does Roan support this?”

“Oh, no, _Heda_. Nia removed him from her circle once she found the _Natblida_. He is not moved by revenge, however. He does not want to see either Ontari or Nia as _Heda_ , because he fears it will affect all the clans badly. He sees Nia bringing only ruin to us all.”

She studied Jos, but found no sign of subterfuge. “Does he have followers?”

“ _Sha_.” She dropped her gaze momentarily.

“You are one.” It was not a question.

“You must understand, _Heda_ , I was in the service of Nia because I was forced to it through her threats to those who are most dear to me. But had she known my true thoughts, she would have killed them, and then me.”

“How many among _Azgeda_ are of Roan’s mind?”

She was silent for a few beats. “I do not know, because no one speaks of it, but if something were to happen to Nia and Roan to become _haihefa_ …”13 she shrugged. “The _plana_ would not be grieved by many.”

Lexa’s sources had told her as much, but it was difficult to determine how much support Roan would have were he to initiate a coup. Nia might have thought she had neutralized him by sending him away from Azgeda, but it appeared it hadn’t worked. “ _Mochof_ , _Jos kom Azgeda_. _Yu ste sisfou_.” 14

She stood and dipped her head. “ _Ai gaf in koma yu op_ , _Heda_. _Ai gon kigon sis yu au_.” 15

“Tell Titus all you know of those in _Azgeda_ who support Nia, and those who support Roan. And tell him all you know of Ontari.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She glanced at him, then back at her.

“And I may have a task for you at a council gathering.” She locked gazes with Titus briefly then focused on Jos again.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Jos said.

Lexa went to the door then turned. “Your children are safe. My scouts located them where you said they would be and they are healthy.” Even from across the room, she could tell that Jos’s eyes filled with tears. “Titus will tell you the message they passed along. Something only you would know, as you requested.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_. _Mochof_.”

Lexa gave her a nod and left her with Titus and a guard. Two others accompanied her to the lift. It was time to meet with Clarke and Kane.

  
12 _splita_ : outsider   
13 _haihefa_ : king   
14 _Yu ste sisfou_ : You are helpful   
15 _Ai gaf in koma yu op_ , _Heda_. _Ai gon kigon sis yu au_ : I want to honor you, _Heda_. I will continue to help you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you get some feelz from the last chapter? :)
> 
> Good, because shit is about to get real and this chapter introduces some of the shitstorm that's on the way, and it's going to test a whole lot of people. It's also going to fundamentally change the relationship between Trikru and Skaikru, as you'll see in the next chapter.
> 
> And a big SHOUT OUT to all of you who leave comments and kudos. I so appreciate it. You have no idea how much it means to me. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but I'm plotting shit with Lexa, so I may be a little tardy. But you can always hit me up on Twitter: @andimarquette
> 
> A few songs I listened to while writing this: Chimera State, "Shades of Dawn" (chillout mix); Andain, "Much too Much" (Zetandel chillout mix); Wilde, "On Fire (Reprise)"


	33. Kongeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clan council agrees to bring Skaikru into the kongeda, but with certain elements of a ceremony. There will also be an accounting from Clarke and Kane, but Lexa has a little something in store for the council to chew on. Oh, and then there's more news from Arkadia.

“What about the formal ceremony?” Clarke stood near the table in her quarters, Kane near the balcony doors, Lexa between him and the table. The late morning light added to her unease, because every minute that passed was another minute that she was delayed leaving for Arkadia.

“There is no time,” Lexa said. “Nia is on her way to the mountain, and Sanders and Pike are already there. We need to be prepared, and this is the only way I can get the clans to support intervention for _Skaikru_. There will be a formal ceremony once this threat has been dealt with, but you must swear the oath regardless, and there will be a blood bond and a marking, which will serve you both well in the eyes of the council.”

Clarke flashed a wry smile. “You’re being optimistic that this will turn out all right, if you’re planning for a formal ceremony after.”

Lexa shrugged. “Perhaps. Or perhaps I understand our capabilities.”

“I’ll take the mark of the _kongeda_ ,” Kane said, and Clarke shifted her gaze to him, glad he used the Trigedasleng word.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t take it, too?” she asked.

“Since Kane has accepted, it is not required that you do so.” The trace of a smile hung on Lexa’s lips. She appeared relaxed but regal, in full Commander regalia, her hands clasped behind her back, swords across her back, hair braided, full facepaint. The guard on her left shoulder anchored a dark red sash that fell almost the length of her body. Not for the first time Clarke forgot to breathe when she looked at her. Every part of Lexa she saw left her wanting, left her needing to sink roots into whatever this was, no matter the risk.

“The council will seek an accounting before the oath,” Lexa said.

Clarke caught herself before she spent too much time in her eyes. “What does that mean?”

“The representatives of _Skaikru_ will speak with the council. It is mostly a formality, but there may be difficult questions.”

“Seriously? When were you planning to tell me this?”

“Clarke, she hasn’t had time,” Kane said. “None of us really did, for any of this. We’ll be fine.”

“Are there particular clan representatives we need to be careful of?”

Lexa gave her a look. “All of them.” She glanced at Kane. “Both of you are experienced with situations like this, but I will help as I can.”

“Politics aren’t always my best subject.” Clarke shot her a cranky glare.

“You underestimate yourself.” She raised an eyebrow. “The council is already prepared to bring you into the _kongeda_.”

“So this is about appearances.” Clarke glanced at Kane, who reassured her with a nod.

The hint of a smile twitched at the corners of Lexa’s mouth. “You see? You underestimate your grasp of politics. Is there news from Arkadia?”

“Raven did say that Monty tried to leave a tracking signal but it died about two miles from Mt. Weather,” Clarke said.

“Which means they’re probably being taken there.” Kane was trying to be supportive, she knew, but she needed to be on her way to Arkadia _now_.

She looked at Lexa. “When can we meet with the council?”

“Soon. Has _Azgeda_ sent their demands to Arkadia?”

“No,” Kane said. “Do you think they’ll have some?”

“Yes.” Clarke paced the length of her quarters. “Of course they will.” She stopped and looked at Lexa. She was learning how to read her, and what came across to others as the hard, expressionless façade of the Commander was filled with slight nuances. Or perhaps this was simply part of the connection they shared, that she picked up on these and others didn’t. What she saw in Lexa’s eyes was that she had information, and Clarke wanted to know what it was.

“There’s something else,” she pressed. “What is it?”

“I believe I have identified the man who is working with Nia that we originally thought was _Skaikru_.”

“Who is it?”

Her expression hardened. “He is called Emerson.”

Clarke couldn’t breathe for a moment and she stared at her, wanting her to be wrong, but that was not what was in her eyes. “That would explain how Sanders got the codes to the main door at Mt. Weather.”

“Emerson from the mountain?” Kane sounded as shocked as Clarke felt. “ _That_ Emerson?”

“Yes,” Lexa said. “He was brought to _Azgeda_ perhaps three weeks ago.”

Clarke exhaled and stared at the ceiling, thoughts roiling. “He’ll make sure to send certain kinds of conditions.” She started pacing again.

“What do you mean?” Kane frowned.

“Emerson will want me to know what he’s going to do to his prisoners before he does it. Then he’ll want me to watch. If I’m not at the mountain, he’ll patch the images through to Arkadia.” She caught Lexa’s eye. “He likes visuals. They took pictures of us, after all. We were their target initially. Now it’s just about revenge for Emerson. And that’s me.”

Lexa said nothing, but Clarke found comfort in her eyes.

“Emerson has the codes to Mt. Weather,” Kane said to Lexa. “That’s probably part of the deal Nia made. Emerson gave Sanders and Pike the code to the main door as proof of his identity, they tested it, and now they’ve all agreed to work together.”

“What does Nia get?” Clarke stopped pacing and turned toward him.

“A chance to either be Commander or install someone as Commander,” Lexa responded and Clarke shifted her attention to her.

“How?”

“Weaponry?” Kane shrugged. “Missiles? I know I said Sanders probably wouldn’t use something like that, but Pike would and Emerson clearly would.”

“We should have done a sweep,” Clarke said. Lexa looked at her but didn’t say anything. “We should have taken a head count. Something. I thought Cage was the only one who got out and Lincoln took care of him. I wasn’t even thinking about Emerson.”

“Clarke,” Lexa said, “there is no point to strategizing the past. We must now work with what we currently know. Nia will most likely make her demands soon, as well.”

“Which will be what? Give up the Commander’s chair or I’ll have Mt. Weather shoot a missile at Polis?”

“Would she do that?” Kane asked.

“Yes.” Lexa’s tone betrayed nothing about how that made her feel. “But Nia assumes that Emerson and Sanders will uphold their part of the bargain.”

Clarke stopped pacing and faced Lexa. “That’s true. They might not keep the deal. She doesn’t have control of the mountain, after all. And there’s no point to shooting Polis when Arkadia is more the target Sanders would want.” She turned to Kane. “Would Sanders actually do that? Would he shoot a missile at Arkadia if it doesn’t accept his demands?”

“I think he’ll tell people they have an option. Stay and die or join him at Mt. Weather.”

“This is the strongest possibility. This Pike, however,” Lexa continued, “would threaten Polis. It seems he is motivated not only by revenge but also hatred, which clouds his judgment. If Sanders is guiding what happens at Mt. Weather, we may have room to bargain.”

“Both Pike and Emerson are unknown quantitites,” Clarke said. “Actually, there is no room to bargain with Emerson.” Not after what he had already undergone at Clarke’s hands. And not after what she’d done at the mountain. “Not where I’m concerned. In fact, one of his demands will probably be to turn me over to him.”

“No.” Kane shook his head vehemently. “Absolutely not.”

Clarke didn’t respond, because if there was a chance she could defuse the mountain by turning herself over to it, she would.

“Clarke,” Kane said. “No. We’ll figure out what to do.”

“We do not have enough information yet.” Lexa was trying to assure him, but Clarke knew that she was fully aware of what Clarke would do if she felt it was the right thing.

A knock interrupted them.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Clarke said and Kane shot her a look.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said. “It is time.” He glanced at Clarke.

Lexa said something in rapid Trigedasleng that had something to do with the council then turned to her. “The guards will escort you and Kane to the council chamber. I go now to prepare them.”

Clarke nodded, though she wanted to ask how long it would take. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Osir na set raun hir kom taim em konge osir_.” 1

Approval flashed momentarily in her eyes and she gave them both a nod then followed Titus from the room. As she exited, Balta entered. She wore a long, dark blue gown that exposed her shoulders and her hair was pulled back in a way Clarke hadn’t seen, fully revealing her tattoos.

“I’m glad to see you. _Balta kom Trikru_ , _em laik Markus kom Skaikru_. This is Balta. She’s a healer, and has been amazing.”

“I’m honored,” Kane said, and he dipped his head in respect.

She nodded back at him. “So, _Klark kom Skaikru_. _Yu glong raun osir kongeda_.” 2

“ _Sha_ , _fisa_.” 3

She smiled. “Then we must prepare.”

“But it’s not a formal ceremony.”

“It is still a ceremony, and you must clean up.” She motioned with her chin toward the bathroom. “ _Markus kom Skaikru_ as well.”

“Okay,” he said and he moved toward the door. “I’ll see you in a bit, Clarke.”

“Yeah.” She watched him leave then looked at Balta. “All right. Do what you need to do.”

“First, bathe.”

Clarke sighed and went into the bathroom. The tub was already half-full of water that was still warm. “Balta? Were you already here?”

Balta leaned in. “Yes.”

“ _Mochof_.” She stripped and Balta removed the dressing from her leg.

“Ah. Much better.”

Clarke looked down at it. She hadn’t really thought about it today, but Balta was right. The wound was completely closed and though it was still a little red around the edges, she might not need a dressing. Balta checked her over, then left her alone. Clarke climbed into the tub and in spite of herself, relaxed. She scrubbed her limbs and hair with the rough soap that smelled faintly of spice, but she wasn’t sure which one. It reminded her of Lexa, and her skin heated again as she thought about the night before.

How was this even happening? How could she feel what she did for the woman who had left her at the mountain? After all, that Lexa was part of the Lexa who made her ache like never before, who made her want things she never thought she could. Shouldn’t she worry?

She used a bucket to pour water over her hair to rinse it.

The misgivings in her head did not extend to her heart, which filled with desire and a sense of belonging every time Lexa was near, every time Clarke thought about her. How could she fight against that? Or should she? She stepped out of the tub and dried off then wrapped another cloth around her hair and still another around her body before she walked out into the other room.

Balta motioned at the clothing she had placed on the low couch, a pair of black trousers and a loose white shirt. “The formal ceremony will involve equally formal clothing. For this one, however, this will suffice. Let me tend to your bruises.”

Clarke stood on the edge of one of the thick rugs as Balta rubbed unguent into her bruises, then she switched to something that smelled like the spice in the soap and rubbed that into her arms, back, and legs. It tingled a little at first.

“What is that?”

“Something that is good for the skin. We use it quite a bit. Now dress.”

When Clarke had done that, Balta directed her to sit at the table where she went to work on her hair, carefully brushing it out before she rubbed some kind of oil in it that smelled faintly of flowers. She massaged it into her scalp and Clarke closed her eyes as waves of relaxation washed through her.

“Tell me again the words for an oath of fealty,” Clarke said.

Balta did and Clarke repeated them slowly several times until Balta laughed.

“You are not swearing such to me. Save it for _Heda_.”

“You’ve done so much for me. Maybe I’m swearing it to you, too.”

She made a noncommittal noise.

“Lexa said there’s a bloodletting and that the blood comes from my hand.”

“Yes. You will draw your own blood, from here.” Balta took one of Clarke’s hands and touched her palm, near the heel. “It works well from that point. Do not worry.”

“I’m not. I just didn’t want to do something stupid.”

Balta chuckled. “We will guide you.” She went back to massaging Clarke’s scalp. A few moments later, she said, “Much better.” She brushed Clarke’s hair out again and then pulled it back from her face and tied it in what Clarke presumed was a style similar to Lexa’s. She also added a few braids. When that was done, she opened a small cloth packet that she produced from one of her pockets. “Look up and don’t move.”

Clarke did what she instructed and Balta carefully made up her eyes. She guessed it was kohl, like what Lexa sometimes wore when she was out of her facepaint.

“ _Odon_.” She stepped back and handed Clarke a small mirror.

The woman who stared back at her was not at all someone Clarke was used to seeing. She looked older, maybe even a little wiser. She touched her new braids. “Do they mean something?”

“Whatever you wish, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“ _Mochof_.” She handed the mirror back. Maybe here, under these circumstances, the braids could mean an acknowledgement of Grounder culture, and Clarke’s willingness to be a part of it, whatever that might look like.

Balta handed her a knife, hilt first. Clarke recognized it as the knife the vendor had given her. “ _Heda_ sharpened it for you,” she said with the hint of a smile.

“When—never mind.” She slid it into the sheath on her belt and looked up, to find Balta appraising her.

“ _Yu ste ogud_.” 4

“Are you sure? Because I don’t feel ready.”

“All will be well. Here.” She handed Clarke a small cloth.

“You will need that after the bloodletting. Come.”

She put the cloth in her pocket and followed her into the corridor where she waited for her to get Kane. He stared at her when he stepped out of his quarters but didn’t say anything. He wore dark brown trousers tucked into his boots and a cream-colored shirt. He’d also trimmed his beard.

Balta studied them both for a few moments then smiled and motioned toward the lift. Four warriors accompanied them and Clarke suddenly realized there were a few more in the corridor than usual, and on the lift, she had a warrior on either side of her, acting far more formal than in days past. Balta caught her eye and nodded, reassuring.

The lift stopped and all waited for Balta to precede them into the corridor, which was lined with _Trikru_ warriors, but also a few from other clans. Clarke glanced at Kane, but he was keeping his attention focused on Balta as they walked to the council room. She heard the murmurs of many voices that went silent when Balta stopped in the entrance. Clarke’s palms were sweating but she kept her chin up. Lexa directed them to enter and Balta walked in, Kane behind her to her left, Clarke to her right. Clan representatives bordered the carpet on which they approached. Its shade of red almost matched that of Lexa’s sash.

She approached the dais and stopped a few feet from the bottom step. Lexa’s presence infused the very air of this room, her power and authority something almost tangible, something that seemed to move among those gathered, watchful and utterly confident. Heavy drapes had been drawn across the windows behind her and the room was instead lit by dozens of candles, which gave it a deeply intimate feel, in spite of the people gathered within.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said, “I present to you _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ and _Markus kom Skaikru_.” She moved aside and Clarke looked up at Lexa and her heart sped up as their gazes locked for a moment.

“Welcome, _Skaikru_ ,” she said, and her voice resonated around the room. Clarke decided she would never get tired of hearing her. “On this occasion you will be granted entrance as the thirteenth clan into the _kongeda_. Are you prepared to take upon yourselves the duties and loyalties that this requires?”

“Yes, _Heda_ ,” Kane and Clarke both said.

“Then we shall begin. Face the council.”

They both turned.

“Who among the council seeks an accounting from _Skaikru_?” Lexa said.

“I do, _Heda_.”

A woman Clarke recognized stepped forward.

“Speak, _Atlan kom Floukru_.”

“All gathered, I speak on behalf of _Floukru_ and our place in the _kongeda_. We are all aware that traitors from _Skaikru_ have taken residence in _Maun-de_. What do the representatives of _Skaikru_ propose to do?” She focused her full attention on Clarke.

“As _Klark kom Skaikru_ , I assure the _kongeda_ that the traitors from _Skaikru_ are no longer recognized as our people, and are not welcome among us. I will also ensure that the Chancellor of _Skaikru_ honors all agreements currently in place as well as future agreements.”

No one spoke and Clarke could almost feel Lexa’s gaze on her back.

“As _Wanheda_ ,” she continued, “I seek to prevent any traitors and all _Skaikru_ from ever inhabiting _Maun-de_.”

Atlan nodded once.

“As members of the council are aware,” Clarke said, “ _Skaikru_ has dealt with _Maun-de_ before. We’ll do it again.”

Kane shot her a look but kept quiet.

“Can the council be assured that these traitors from Arkadia will not be granted a place among your people?” asked an older, stooped man that Clarke recognized as the _Sankru_ representative.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“She is _Wanheda_ ,” Kane said before Clarke could speak. “Has she not already demonstrated that she has no loyalty to the mountain, or to those who attempt to exploit it for their own gain and use it against the clans? I speak for Arkadia and _Skaikru_ as a member of the Chancellor’s council. Those who have defected from Arkadia and now occupy the mountain are no longer _Skaikru_.”

Clarke met the gazes of a few of the council representatives before she looked at Kane. He gave her a barely perceptible nod.

“The council recognizes the new threat presented by the mountain,” Lexa said. “Would the ambassador from _Azgeda_ offer her thoughts?”

 _Azgeda_? Clarke caught Kane’s eye for a moment. What exactly was Lexa doing? Some of the council representatives to her left moved aside, and a woman stepped forward, her blonde hair done up in braids. In the candlelight, Clarke saw the scars of her people on her face.

“Speak, _Bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_.”

Clarke fought an urge to glance back at Lexa.

“ _Heda_ and members of the clan council, I address you on behalf of those among us at _Azgeda_ who are concerned about the threat presented at the mountain, among that threat the actions of _plana_ Nia.”

The room went completely still as the implications of such a statement coming from Nia’s ambassador hung over them like a fog.

“There are many among _Azgeda_ who also wish to join the _kongeda_ , but we are instead beholden to the whims of a leader who seeks to divide us and war with the clans, that she may challenge _Heda_. She seeks to do this by allying with those who occupy _Maun-de_ , even though there is not one among us who has not suffered some loss at the hands of the _Maunon_.”

Clarke glanced around the room as murmurs and nods circulated. Lexa was creating a wedge between Nia supporters and opposition among the clans of the _kongeda_ and she was using one of Nia’s own officials to do it.

“ _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , as _bandrona kom Azgeda_ , and on behalf of the many in _Azgeda_ who stand with my views, I wish to support the entrance of _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_ , which I believe will strengthen us all and allow us to keep it from ever threatening us again.”

Clarke heard a few whispers and then silence for a moment.

“I would speak, _Heda_ ,” said another older man whom Clarke did not recognize. He wore an eyepatch and she could see a thick scar beneath it that ran vertically down his cheek.

“ _Sha_ , _Danyel kom Delfikru_ ,” Lexa said.

“There are those among the clans who support _plana_ Nia’s contentions regarding the fitness of _Heda_ as a leader.”

Clarke glanced at Kane, whose brow was furrowed as he studied Danyel. This was clearly someone who opposed Lexa.

“There are,” Lexa said, as if discussing something far more mundane.

Clarke moved a little so that she could better see both Lexa and the council representatives.

“But there are many others who realize that Nia’s actions are harmful to _Azgeda_ and the _kongeda_ ,” Atlan said. “ _Heda_ ’s prior decisions at the mountain freed those from all clans who were trapped.” Her gaze swept across those gathered. “We have seen the results of some of the tech that lies within the mountain.” She focused on Danyel. “There are many here who remember the missile that hit Tondc just a few months ago.”

Clarke clenched her teeth. Lexa remained relaxed and impassive.

“ _Heda_ agreed to the alliance with _Skaikru_ that allowed her to save our people at the mountain,” Atlan continued. “No other _Heda_ has done such a thing. No other _Heda_ sought to bring us all together, to create a stronger force against enemies. _Heda_ was able to free our people from the mountain, but she told us that it was _Wanheda_ and _Skaikru_ who freed us from the _Maunon_ and that there is great strength in alliances, and even greater strength in the _kongeda_. Let those who question _Heda_ and her decisions step forward now for accounting.”

Clarke’s stomach tensed. She glanced at Lexa, who remained relaxed. How did she do that? No one moved, though Danyel glanced furtively around and she realized that this was also a way for Lexa to put him on the spot.

“ _Heda_ , I would speak.” A man who towered over most of the other representatives stepped forward, his voice a soft rumble that somehow seemed to carry throughout the room.

“ _Sha_ , _Ferris kom Trishana_.”

“With much respect to _Atlan kom Floukru_ , It serves no purpose to attempt to discover who speaks ill of _Heda_. There will always be those who speak ill of their leaders. It is the way of things, as we all know.”

Several low chuckles accompanied that statement and tension dissipated.

“The question we must answer is whether the council accepts the provisional support of the _Azgeda_ ambassador for _Skaikru_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_. Those who do not let it be known.”

No one spoke, and Clarke glanced again at Lexa, who caught her eye briefly. It was brilliant, how she’d planted this wedge. She hadn’t even known that an ambassador from _Azgeda_ was in Polis.

“It appears that we have all council representatives present, and a provisional acceptance by _Azgeda_ for the entrance of _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_. I propose that we conduct the ritual agreed upon that we may address the threats posed by the mountain and _plana_ Nia.”

“ _Ferris kom Trishana_ has spoken,” Lexa said. “Are there any among you who object or who wish a further accounting from the _Skaikru_ representatives?”

“ _Heda_ ,” said someone else and Clarke tried to locate the woman who had said it.

“Speak, _Gani kom Podakru_.”

Clarke finally saw her, toward the back of the room. People moved so that she could join Clarke and Kane on the carpet in front of the dais. Like all here, she was dressed in loose trousers and shirt, but armed only with one knife that Clarke could see. She kept her hair very short, like Indra’s, and had no tattoos on her face.

“I would address _Wanheda_ ,” she said and the room quieted.

Lexa nodded and Clarke looked back at Gani.

“My people saw you come to the ground,” she said. “First in one ball of fire, and then, days later, in many. The clans have spoken of Sky Crew since the beginning, of a people who dwell above the ground, who float in a ship far above, like a boat on the sea. The first _Heda_ said that one day, those of the sky might join us.” Her gaze pierced Clarke’s. “I do not trust the motives of the whole of _Skaikru_ , but I cannot discount what you, _Wanheda_ , did for the clans, or that there are those among _Skaikru_ who helped you, and who now try to help all of us again.” She extended her arm. “I stand with _Heda_ and her decisions, and now, I will stand with you, _Wanheda_.”

Clarke grasped her forearm, stunned. “ _Mochof_ ,” she said softly. “ _Yu koma ai op_. _Ai na badan oso kru op_.” 5

Gani nodded at her, solemn, then offered her arm to Kane, who took it and thanked her as well, looking properly humbled. He was very good with diplomacy, Clarke decided. Gani stepped back and looked up at Lexa, expectant.

“Others?” she said. No one spoke. “Then we begin.” Lexa stood and Balta ascended the dais and took a position to the right of Lexa’s chair.

“We come here this day in recognition of a new clan, and the continued strength of the _kongeda_ ,” Balta said, and Clarke stared at her. Though Lexa said that Balta wasn’t part of the council, it certainly seemed she was. “We acknowledge that circumstances have prevented a full ceremony,” she continued, “and, in accordance with the council’s directives, we gather in recognition of the entrance of _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_. _Skaikru_ , are you prepared to enter the coalition of clans, and to engage in the responsibilities and duties required?”

“Yes,” Clarke and Kane said together.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” she said, pausing for effect, “as representative of _Skaikru_ , will you swear an oath of fealty to _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , in acknowledgement of her authority as Commander of the clans?”

“I will.”

Balta nodded once and Clarke stepped forward then went down on one knee, her gaze on Lexa’s. Her throat and chest tightened.

“ _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , do you declare your loyalty to _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_?”

“ _Sha_. _Ai Wanheda kom Skaikru badan Heda Leksa kom Trikru klin_.” 6

Lexa pinned her with her gaze, expression unreadable behind her facepaint and Clarke almost forgot to breathe, almost forgot they weren’t the only two people in this room as the air seemed to still.

“ _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , do you accept this oath from _Wanheda kom Skaikru_?”

“ _Sha_. _Ai Heda Leksa kom Trikru teik in Wanheda kom Skaikru badaun_.” 7

“You may rise,” Balta said. “ _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , will you bind your oath with blood?”

“I will.” She glanced at Lexa again, and the flash of warmth in her eyes that she directed at her calmed her.

Balta looked at Titus and he descended the dais to the carpet. A young man wearing similar robes to Titus appeared in the entrance and approached, something cupped in his hands. Titus took it from him and it glinted in the candlelight. A small metal bowl that barely filled Titus’s palms.

“ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,”8 Balta intoned. “Blood must join blood. _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , provide yours.”

Clarke drew her knife and placed it against the heel of her right palm. Titus moved closer and she pressed the blade into her flesh and carefully sliced. Blood welled instantly and she held her hand over Titus’s bowl and made a fist so that several drops of it landed within. She withdrew her hand and remembered the cloth that Balta had given her. She took it from her pocket and pressed it against the cut.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ , will you also bind _Skaikru_ to the _kongeda_ with blood?”

“I will.” He stepped forward, drew his own knife, and sliced his left hand. Once a few drops had joined Clarke’s in the bowl, he produced a cloth from his pocket and wrapped his hand.

“ _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , will you acknowledge the blood of _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ and _Markus kom Skaikru_?”

“ _Sha_.” Lexa descended the dais and stood next to Titus. She drew one of her knives and held it up. “ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,” she said, and all gathered softly repeated the phrase. She gave Clarke a reassuring glance then sliced the heel of her palm as Clarke had done and held it over the bowl. And Clarke stared. She tried not to, and she kept her expression as neutral as possible, but she stared nonetheless because Lexa’s blood was dark. Very dark. Even in the candlelight, she could tell that it was not red, but rather black.

“All gathered,” Lexa said as she wrapped a cloth around her hand, “blood has joined blood. Through me, the _kongeda_ welcomes _Skaikru_.”

The clans repeated the phrase.

“ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,” Titus intoned. “ _Skaikru kom au thotinon kru-de_.” 9 He covered the bowl with a thick white cloth and handed it to the man who had brought it. He stood to the side of the dais, out of the way.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ , will you now accept the mark of the _kongeda_?” Balta said.

“Yes.” Kane stepped forward and rolled his left sleeve up as Titus went to a brazier in the corner. Clarke hadn’t seen it earlier. She stole a glance at Lexa.

Black blood. Nightblood. That’s what she had meant. Nightbloods literally had dark blood and that, in turn, had something to do with the title of Commander. Only Nightbloods were eligible to be Commander. Where did the dark blood come from? Some kind of genetic mutation? Did certain Grounder families carry it?

Questions for later. She looked at Kane, who was watching Titus. She looked back at Lexa and ran into her gaze, into the depths that always seemed to welcome her. Always _Heda_ , she knew, but always Lexa, too, and though she had kneeled to the Commander, she had also, in a way, offered her loyalty to Lexa. Clarke saw that she understood, saw the reassurance in her eyes and warmth flowed through her limbs. She looked back at Titus, who had removed an iron from the brazier.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ ,” Balta said, “in accepting the mark of the _kongeda_ , you are accepting the responsibilities and dutes required of a clan. On behalf of _Skaikru_ , will you do this?”

“Yes.”

Titus approached with the iron, glowing hot, and Kane tensed. He didn’t say anything when Titus placed it against his skin, but he gritted his teeth and grimaced in pain. And then it was over and Titus placed the iron in a bucket of water, where it hissed and steamed.

Lexa ascended the dais. “ _Markus kom Skaikru_ and _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ ,” she said, “on behalf of the council of clans, I, _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , welcome you to the _kongeda_ as the thirteenth clan.” She surveyed the room. “Is the council satisfied? All who are not, speak.”

No one said anything.

“Very well. It is done. _Jus don glong raun jus_. _Skaikru laik thotinen kru-de_. ” 10

The room echoed with soft repetitions of the phrase.

“If there is no further business,” Lexa said, “this gathering is complete.”

Silence greeted her statement for a few seconds, and then people started talking quietly and moving around the room. A few caught Clarke’s eye and nodded at her.

“You okay?” Kane asked her.

“Yeah. How’s your arm?”

He grinned. “Stings.”

“Balta probably has something to help with that.”

A commotion at the entrance to the room drew Clarke’s attention and clearly everyone else’s. Wash pushed through the crowd to Lexa. He said something to her and as he spoke, she looked at Clarke.

Something was very, very wrong. Clarke grabbed Kane and moved closer. “What’s happening?” she asked.

Lexa leaned in and said, very quietly, “Pike and others from _Skaikru_ attacked and killed _Trikru_ scouts and some from a _Skaikru_ patrol last night”

Her heart seemed to stop. “How many?”

“Ten, perhaps,” Wash responded, just as quiet.

“Where?”

“Between Arkadia and _Maun-de_.”

“Was _Azgeda_ involved?” Clarke kept her voice low, too, though she was fighting the urge to run all the way to the mountain and tear it down with her bare hands.

“There were two survivors,” he said. “One _Skaikru_ , one _Trikru_. Both said there was at least one _Azgeda_ with the attackers.”

“Where are the survivors?” Kane asked.

“Taken back to Arkadia. Indra provided an escort.”

“And Pike?” Kane, too, kept his voice low.

“Back to _Maun-de_. Another scout saw him and his fellow _Skaikru_ enter the tunnels.”

“It’s a message,” Clarke said. “From Emerson.” He was trying to draw her out, and force Lexa’s hand. She looked at Lexa, whose eyes had gone as cold as the reaches of space.

Lexa turned to Titus. “Assemble the council of clans. Include Jos.”

He nodded and moved off into the groups of people who stood watching her.

“Kane, attempt to contact Arkadia.” She turned the full intensity of her gaze back to Clarke. “You will join us in the council.”

She nodded, trying not to think about who among the Arkers had died.

“Don’t worry,” he said to her. “I’ll find out all that I can.” He pushed through the crowd with a guard and Clarke watched him until he exited into the corridor.

Balta touched her shoulder. “I will take you where _Heda_ wants you to be.”

Clarke followed, dragging the weight of the mountain with her.

  
1 _Osir na set raun hir kom taim em konge osir_ : We’ll wait here until they get/fetch us. (“osir” is “we/us” but excludes the listener. Clarke is saying that she and Kane will be waiting, “osir” denoting her and Kane but excluding Lexa, who is not going to be waiting.)  
2 _Yu glong raun osir kongeda_ : You are joining our coalition (again, “osir” is “we/us” but excludes the listener. Here, Balta uses it in reference to the _kongeda_. Because _Skaikru_ is not yet part of it, they are not included in the “we.” The inclusive “we” is “oso.”)   
3 _Sha_ , _fisa_ : Yes, healer   
4 _Yu ste ogud_ : You are ready   
5 _Yu koma ai op_. _Ai na badan oso kru op_ : You honor me. I will serve our people.   
6 _Ai Wanheda kom Skaikru badan Heda Leksa kom Trikru klin_ : I, _Wanheda_ of/from _Skaikru_ , swear fealty to _Heda_ Lexa of/from _Trikru_   
7 _Ai Heda Leksa kom Trikru teik in Wanheda kom Skaikru badaun*_ : I, _Heda_ Lexa of/from Trikru accept _Wanheda_ of/from Skaikru’s oath (there doesn’t seem to be a term via Peterson for “oath” so I created the noun “badaun” to mean “oath,” as derived from the verb “badan in,” which means swear loyalty to/serve. “Badan” comes from “bow down.”)   
8 _Jus souda glong raun jus_ : Blood must join blood   
9 _Skaikru kom au thotinon kru-de_ : Sky Crew becomes the thirteenth clan   
10 _Jus don glong raun jus. Skaikru laik thotinon kru-de_ : Blood has joined blood. Sky Crew is the thirteenth clan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm posting 2 long chapters tonight because omg I have to write more!!! AHHHHH! Holy hell. I've been using my weekends for that, and I'm losing this one, so...hope you stick with me anyway, because I love this story and I'm working to get it all finished!
> 
> Anyway, KONGEDA! Hope you like my spin on the truncated ceremony.
> 
> All that said, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading, and for the kudos and comments. I try to respond to comments as soon as I can, but I might be off battling Orcs or some such, and it might take longer. Don't worry! I still luuuuuuv you, and I'll get to you ASAP! You can also hit me up on the Twitterz: @andimarquette
> 
> A few songs I listened to in the writing of this chapter: ATB, "Talismanic"; Show Tha Product, "Nights" (feat. W. Darling); Peter Gabriel, "Mercy Street"


	34. A Moment with Kane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is getting ready to leave Polis, but she gets to spend a bit of time with Kane.

Clarke finished putting supplies in her pack and left it on her bed, next to the dark cloak and black cloth Balta had provided. She had decided to leave the paints and portraits that she had been working on behind because it made her feel as if she would be coming back, and she wanted to hang onto that.

Sunlight slanted through the open balcony doors at an angle that she associated with late afternoon, but she had agreed with Lexa about not leaving until twilight. The council approved, too, but chances were, Lexa would have paid them lip service and then done what she thought was best. Considering how contentious council meetings could be, the one following the ceremony had gone quickly and almost smoothly, with all in agreement about the next courses of action, made easier when Kane appeared with the information he’d gotten from Arkadia. Three clan representatives demanded a formal declaration of war, but the others overrode them. For now.

The sounds of laughter and shouting drifted from the city below and it gave her a little comfort. Even in the midst of insanity, there were glimpses of normality, she thought as she moved to the balcony and gazed out over Polis. Clarke would miss it and all the ways it had revealed parts of Lexa to her, all the ways it had welcomed her.

“Fucking Emerson,” she muttered. If she survived this, she was coming back to Polis. She caught herself. She _had_ to survive. Not just because she had to stop what was happening at the mountain, but because she wanted to. Coming to Polis made her want to do more than just survive, and made her want Lexa to see that, too.

She ran her fingers over the dressing Balta had wrapped around her hand and thought about the ceremony and the way Lexa filled the room without having to do or say anything, like how her presence filled the tent when Clarke first met her. Another Grounder, she’d thought when she entered, who wanted to kill her. But Lexa was different than Clarke had expected.

There were flashes of interest and maybe surprise in her eyes when Clarke refused to back down, refused to be intimidated as Indra called for her death. Clarke had nothing to lose when she walked into Lexa’s tent that day, and looking back, it was more stupid than sane to do it. But then again, had she not, she wouldn’t be here today, with the backing of the _kongeda_.

Now, however, she had everything to lose.

“Clarke,” Kane said as he joined her on the balcony. “Your door was open.”

“Yeah. I figured it was easier for people to just say something to me than knock.”

He shrugged. “It worked.” He leaned on the rail next to her. “How are you holding up?”

“Okay. Given the circumstances.” She sighed. “I feel guilty that I’m relieved that I didn’t really know the people who died in the attack.”

“Don’t. Just do what you can for those they left behind.” He stared out over the city. “I need to stay in Polis.”

Clarke looked at him. “Why?”

“I can be a source of information from Arkadia and the mountain for Lexa. I have to be here to do that.”

She frowned. “The radio’s battery isn’t going to last forever.”

“I can figure something out and maybe Raven can help on her end.”

“Kane—”

“If I go with you, Lexa has to rely on scouts, and as fast as they are, that’s a lot longer than a radio call. This way she has two sources of information, and hopefully, mine stays working.” He gripped her shoulder, comforting. “You’ll be okay. If Lexa could go herself, she would. Since she can’t, she’ll send her very best scouts with you. Plus, you can take care of yourself.” He smiled but it didn’t make her feel better.

“Yeah, well, maybe sometimes I’m not so sure.” She looked away.

“We need to have a representative on the clan council while all of this is happening. You’re more valuable to Arkadia if you’re actually there because you’ve been to the mountain. And you and Bellamy and Raven and Octavia—hell, everybody from the drop ship—you’re a team. You do some of your best work with them. They need you there and Polis needs me here.”

He was right but Clarke wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea. “The Chancellor is not going to be happy about this.”

He smiled. “She’ll be happy to see you. And she knows that you wouldn’t just leave me behind. You have to have a good reason, and I just gave you two.”

“Fine,” she conceded. “I guess we should tell Lexa.”

“Already did, after I got off the radio with Raven and Abby.”

She started to say something but thought better of it, glad all over again that the patrol that had been attacked had not included people she knew well. Not that it mattered, because she would make sure the mountain paid for their deaths. “Okay. As soon as I get there, I’ll have Raven ping you. Then once I get a sense of things, I’ll radio with details.” And even if the radio died, he was right that it was important to have a _Skaikru_ representative in Polis right now.

“Clarke,” came Balta’s voice from the doorway.

She stepped back inside. Balta still wore the gown from the ceremony.

“ _Heda_ prepares the scouts now. She will return soon, but she requests that you eat. May I bring you a meal?”

She wasn’t feeling hungry, but she knew trying to argue with either Balta or Lexa was a losing proposition. “Okay.”

“Kane, would you like to join Clarke?”

“ _Sha_. _Mochof_.”

She smiled and left and Clarke looked at him. “Keep it up. Soon you’ll be good enough to serve as ambassador for _Skaikru_.”

He laughed. “I think you’re much better suited to that job, actually.”

Clarke scoffed and sat down at the table.

“It’s true,” he said. “You’ve made allies here. Possibly friends. And you’re a natural politician.”

“I just do what I think needs to be done.”

“Exactly. But you do it in a way that makes people respect you. They may not like you, but they’ll trust you, and that’s more important.” He sat down across from her. “Lexa respects you.”

She frowned but didn’t say anything.

“She’s good at keeping her feelings to herself, and she is hard to read, but she does respect you. I wondered, after Mt. Weather, but I think that what she did wasn’t a personal decision against you."

Clarke was still wrestling with that, but more and more, she was getting used to the idea. “Well, I really wish she would have talked to me before she did it.”

He chuckled. “You would have done everything in your power to talk her out of it and knowing you, you probably would have succeeded. Maybe she knew that, and didn’t want to take the chance.”

“You’re saying I somehow have influence over her?” Clarke gave him a look, but she smiled, and thought about the night before, which sent delightful little chills racing down her spine.

He shrugged. “When I first met her, it was in an underground holding cell near Tondc, where I ended up with Jaha. They gave us one knife, and the only way we were getting out of there was if one of us killed the other. Lexa came in as an observer.” He paused. “In disguise. We had no idea.”

“Disguise? What was she doing?”

“She had on plain clothing and a kerchief on her head. She walked with a limp.”

“What? A limp?”

He grinned. “Imagine that, if you can.”

“I can’t. I mean, I’ve seen her when she’s not in formal mode, but—” Clarke tried to envision Lexa as a mousy servant, and she simply couldn’t.

“She had us totally fooled. And I really wish I had a drink right now, because this is a good drinking story.”

“Next time.”

“Deal. So here we were, these two grown men, refusing to kill each other while this young woman we thought was a serving girl was sitting in the corner watching. That must have seemed strange to the Grounders, that we refused to do what they were trying to force us to do. Finally, I said I’d give Jaha a chance, and I grabbed the knife and started slicing my wrist. Jaha stopped me.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “I’m glad he did. Because right now, I actually like you better than him.”

“Go easy on him. He’s had a tough time, too.”

She gave him a pointed stare. “We all have.” And Jaha owed her big-time for what he did to her dad and to her mom. Abby had trusted him, and he betrayed that, and it killed her dad. “Anyway,” she said before she dwelled too long on that, “Go on.”

“So here I am, trying to cut my wrist and Jaha is trying to stop me. I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but Lexa basically said “enough” and then guards came in and Jaha managed to grab the knife from me and he grabbed Lexa and put it to her throat.”

“And that probably lasted all of three seconds,” Clarke said, imagining Lexa, with her training and speed, in a situation like that. “I have to admit, I wish I could have seen her take care of Jaha.”

Kane laughed. “It wasn’t even three seconds. She said something to the guards—probably warning them off—then disarmed him immediately and he was on the ground before he even knew what was happening. The guards referred to her as _Heda_ and I realized, then, who she was and I’ll admit, her age—I’d never seen anyone so young in such a position of power. It was a little disconcerting.” He looked at her. “But I spent time with her, and she asked very good questions and had very good insights. I can’t imagine her as anything but Commander.”

Clarke smiled. “You realize she was extracting information from you.”

“Oh, absolutely. But I didn’t mind because she’s interesting and wise beyond her years. She has vision for her people that I’m guessing other Commanders haven’t. And she’s a master at building alliances and wearing opposition down simply through the force of her personality.”

He was quiet for a while and Clarke silently agreed with him, though he hadn’t mentioned Lexa’s seemingly endless supply of patience.

“Still, how young she is threw me for a while,” he said, running his fingertips idly over the tabletop. “And then I watched you in action, and I realized that sometimes, age and experience aren’t always the best harbingers of effective leadership.” He regarded her, and she saw in his eyes hints of the ghosts that he carried, too. “You’ve done things, Clarke, that a far more seasoned leader would never have taken on. But you did them, for what you believed were the right reasons, to help your people. To help as many as you could. And you’re effective. You’re a natural at this. So when I say Lexa respects you, it’s because she does.”

“You’re saying awfully nice things about her, given what she did at the mountain.”

He shook his head. “That was—okay, back to that. It was a betrayal of sorts, but she’s smart enough to know when a cut-and-run will save more of her people than staying. She understands the limitations of her people in terms of dealing with a facility like Mt. Weather. And we don’t know what threats she got in exchange for taking that deal.” He shrugged. “People do what they think they have to in situations like that.” He moved his arm so that his forearm rested on the table and the brand of the _kongeda_ was obvious. About an inch across, it was still slick with whatever salve Balta had put on it. He motioned at it. “She accepted us into her coalition. And make no mistake, the only reason there’s a coalition of clans is because of all the work Lexa did to implement it. And besides, you’re willing to see past what happened at the mountain and do what you think is best.”

She stared down at her hands, clasped on the table. It was a bit more complicated than Kane thought, getting to this point. “I can’t say I don’t worry it won’t happen again.”

“That’s normal. And given what happened with your mom, expected."

She started to warn him off that topic when Balta entered with a young man, each carrying a tray. She set the dishes on the table, poured them tea, and retreated, though not before giving Clarke one of her enigmatic half-smiles. And though she had thought she wasn’t hungry, the smell of the spiced meat changed her mind and she dug in.

“Hell of a day,” Kane said as he cut a slice of meat with his knife. "I also wanted to tell you that I'm not going to say anything about Lexa's blood."

She waited for him to continue.

"I think you probably know something about that, but it's probably better for me to just keep it to myself and we'll talk about it later."

"Yeah, It is better that way. "Thanks." She smiled and ate, and by the time she had finished, she felt a little better. Balta returned with two young men who stacked the empty dishes on the trays.

“ _Heda_ will be able to speak with you very soon,” she said. “Do you require anything further?”

Clarke stood. “I don’t think so, but if I don’t see you before I leave, thank you. _Mochof gon ething_.” 1 To her immense surprise, Balta pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead.

“ _Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,”2 she said softly. And then she left, and the room felt suddenly empty, though she and Kane were still there.

“See what I mean?” Kane said. “You have a way with people. Keep putting it to use.” He stood, too. “I’m going to monitor the radio. Let me know when you go.”

“Yeah.”

He smiled and stepped into the corridor, leaving the door ajar. She returned to the balcony, because it brought some comfort, especially remembering the moments she had shared with Lexa on it. And at some point, she would ask Lexa about the disguise she used with Jaha and Kane. Clarke would have paid good money to watch her throw Jaha. She smiled and leaned on the railing, trying to soak as much of Polis in as she could.

  
1 _Mochof gon ething_ : Thank you for everything  
2 _Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon_ : “safe travels,” basically. You’ve seen this one before. Heh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, Clarke and Kane spend some time together, and that's something I don't think we got enough of in the TV show. They rarely had moments together, rarely talked, though the two of them have some things in common. They've both made deliberate decisions that caused hundreds to die, and Kane understands that both he and Clarke are products of the Ark, and that this played into their abilities to make the decisions they did.
> 
> Kane is, in a way, sort of a Titus figure for Clarke, though Clarke maybe doesn't realize it. At least that's kind of how I came to see him. Here, I hope that it comes through, his genuine affection for Clarke and how he has confidence in her, something he knows she needs to hear.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone for the kudos and comments. They all mean so much to me. Thank you. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but Clarke's got me doing some prep work after the council meeting, so I may be a little delayed. And you can always hit me up on Twitter:
> 
> @andimarquette
> 
> A couple of tunes that helped me write this chapter: CHVRCHES, "Leave a Trace"; ATB, "Magnetic Girl"


	35. Leaving Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has to go back to Arkadia, and Lexa lets her know how she feels.

Clarke watched the approaching shadows of twilight fall across Polis, and she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself. Kane hadn’t returned, so she guessed Arkadia hadn’t contacted him, but it could’ve been that he hadn’t turned the radio on to conserve power.

At some point, Sanders would issue demands from the mountain. Probably soon. And Emerson would include some, too. Possibly Nia, though she might just send her demands directly to Polis. She gripped the railing, a new wave of tension causing her chest to constrict.

There was a noise at the door and she turned to see Lexa come in, still in full dress, but she had removed her swords and facepaint. Clarke left the balcony as Lexa shut the door.

“Wash, Mora, and Tam will accompany you to Arkadia,” Lexa said when she saw her.

Three of her best. Clarke relaxed. “ _Mochof_.”

“Consider covering your hair.” She smiled. “ _Wanheda_ can be quite recognizable.”

“I already have something for that.”

“Good. Though yours is one of several parties I am sending out, we must be sure to make it as difficult as possible to determine which is yours.”

“How many are you sending?”

“More than the council thinks.”

“ _Heda_ is wise,” Clarke said, and she half-smiled. Lexa never revealed the extent of her plans, and in situations like this, she was glad because anyone on the council could be feeding information to Nia, as good as Titus was at ferreting out spies. The time she had spent with them this afternoon after the ceremony made her realize the delicate balance Lexa managed to keep in terms of information sharing and withholding.

“Mmm. I am glad you have come to realize this.”

Clarke smiled even more, enjoying the brief moment of levity in the midst of this crisis. The expression in Lexa’s eyes offered much more than that.

“I have sent word ahead,” she said, shifting back to business, “and when you are within the perimeter around Arkadia, another scout will meet you to take the horses. Your group will all proceed on foot, but Indra has many warriors in the area, and they can help if necessary.”

“What happens when we get to Arkadia? I’m supposed to go in through the back.”

“Yes. Mora will ensure you and Wash enter and then she and Tam will alert Indra about your arrival. Wash will serve as a messenger between you and Indra. Once you have a strategy in place, you can coordinate directly with her and me.”

“Kane said he talked to you already, about staying here.”

“He did. It’s a good idea and will provide us time that perhaps is not expected.” She rested her hand on the hilt of one of her knives. “Perhaps when you arrive at Arkadia, Sanders will have sent his demands.”

She thought about that. Sanders had four _Skaikru_ hostages, and most likely he had them in the mountain. What was he planning to do with them? Use them to force Arkadia to join him? On that basis? That made no sense. Most likely, it had something to do with Emerson, who may have specifically targeted people Clarke knew. After all, the four who had been taken had been in the mountain with her.

“I’m glad you’re sure I’ll get there.”

“You must,” Lexa said. “You are _Wanheda_.” She moved closer and Clarke fought the urge to pull her in and lose herself for a while against her lips. “I will do everything in my power to ensure you arrive safely.”

She would. The promise was in her eyes, and etched across her features. “Do we have any idea where Nia is?”

“Not yet. But we will find her.”

Clarke studied her for a moment. “How are you so calm?”

“Perhaps there are some things _Klark kom Skaikru_ does not see after all.” Lexa brushed Clarke’s cheek with her fingertips, and the gesture left hope in its wake. “Are you ready to go?”

“If you’re asking me if I’m packed, yes. If you’re asking me if I want to leave, no.”

She waited.

“I feel like I’m always having to do something, that there’s always a crisis and I’m the only one who can deal with it.”

“Many people have seen that you can. It gives them faith in you. This is leadership, Clarke. It’s not always easy.”

“It’s _never_ easy.” She sighed. “Can I have some of your calm?”

Lexa gave her one of her delicious half-smiles, but there was a hint of melancholy in her eyes. “What I show and what I feel can be two different things.”

She stared at her, desperate to stay, but knowing she couldn’t. “Is that what happened at the mountain, when you left? You felt differently than what you showed?”

“Yes.”

“What did you feel?”

She was quiet for a bit, but her gaze never left Clarke’s. “I am sworn to serve and protect my people, no matter the cost to me personally. This, too, is leadership, and it is a price that few are willing to pay.”

“But you do.”

“The spirit of the Commander chose me. If I was not willing to make these kinds of decisions, I would not be _Heda_. The spirit would have chosen differently.”

Clarke refrained from touching her, because she needed to know, needed to understand. “You haven’t answered my question. What did you feel at the mountain?”

“That I was protecting my people the best way I could have at the time.” She hesitated, and Clarke saw that this was territory Lexa rarely, if ever, navigated. “I paid much for that decision,” she said softly, “and the cost was yours to bear, as well.” The underlying ache in her tone told Clarke far more than her words ever could.

She kept her gaze on Lexa’s. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about going back to the mountain, and not just because of what I’ve already had to do there. I want to know that if I need you this time, you’ll be there, and that you’ll see this through with me.” Her throat tightened and she clenched her hands into fists, trying to keep tears at bay.

Lexa kept her arms at her sides, though her eyes suggested that was the last thing she wanted to do. “I will,” she said quietly.

“Because if you betray me again—” she didn’t need to finish the statement, and for a long moment neither spoke, and the mountain seemed to fill the space between them, both a weight and a gulf, imbued with elements of the past and possibly the future.

Lexa broke the tableau. She took a step back and sank to her knees, her gaze never leaving Clarke’s.

Clarke froze, not sure what was happening. The only thing her brain registered was that Lexa had just kneeled. “What—”

“I will not betray you.” She gazed up at Clarke, her expression laying bare all her vulnerabilities. “You need not worry.”

“Lexa—”

“I swear fealty to you, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said, hands clasped in front of her, almost supplicating. “I vow to treat your needs as my own, and your people as my people.”

Clarke stared at her, overwhelmed by the significance of what was happening. She couldn’t have responded if she wanted to, and simply stood, stunned, held captive in Lexa’s eyes, and in the knowledge that Lexa had taken down her walls, had handed Clarke her sword and exposed her throat.

“And know this, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said, the truth of her words in her expression, “no matter what you face, I will face it with you. Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances, so long as there is breath in my body and my heart still beats, I will find you.”

Clarke might have gasped. She wasn’t sure. All she was cognizant of at that moment was that the Commander of the thirteen clans—who kneeled to no one—had done just that and sworn fealty. To her. To a woman who wasn’t even a Grounder, who hadn’t even spent a year on the planet’s surface.

She extended her hand, not completely aware she was doing it, and Lexa took it, uncertainty and hope in her eyes. Her grip was warm and strong and Clarke wanted to hold on as long as she could, as she pulled her to her feet and stared at her for a moment. She searched her gaze and sank into the quiet, fierce promises within, heart pounding so hard she wondered that it didn’t bring the guards.

Then—her hand seemingly acting on its own volition—she gripped one of the straps across Lexa’s chest and yanked her into a kiss, a hot, searing meeting of mouths, a messy, aching revelation that scorched across her lips and heart. There would be no recovery from this kiss, and it would forever leave a mark on her heart, but Clarke didn’t want a recovery, didn’t want anything except the bruising clash of lips and tongues and Lexa solid and warm against her holding her close, every chance she got, for as long as she could.

She finally stopped, breathing heavily, her hand on Lexa’s cheek, their foreheads pressed together. Lexa’s breath came in hot bursts against Clarke’s lips and it made her burn all the more. She had no idea what to say or do after what had just happened. “Lexa—”

“Shh. You don’t need to say anything,” she said, as if she knew Clarke’s thoughts. Maybe she did. Maybe she had known all along. “I told you that you’re important to me. Now perhaps you understand what that means.” She swiped at a tear on Clarke’s cheek with her thumb. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

Clarke leaned in and kissed her, this time much softer, wanting to convey everything she was feeling, wanting Lexa to know that she recognized and accepted the connection between them and wanted more of it. She pulled away. “There’s never enough time.”

Lexa ran her fingertips along Clarke’s jaw. “I know.”

She sighed and Lexa pressed her lips against her cheek.

“You must go,” she said, but Clarke heard the reluctance in her voice.

“When this is over, we’re going to continue this…conversation.”

“I look forward to it.” She smiled and it made Clarke’s heart pound even harder.

Before she lost herself against Lexa’s lips again, she stepped away and wrapped the black cloth she’d left on the bed around her head like a kerchief. She put the cloak on and picked up her pack.

Lexa followed her to the door but Clarke didn’t open it. Instead, she kissed her again, long and smoldering, and every part of her burned with things she hadn’t even known she needed. Lexa groaned softly as she returned it with equal fervor, and Clarke wanted to hear many more sounds like that from her but she stopped and allowed herself a few moments to fall into Lexa’s gaze. “You and I, we’re not done here,” she said. “Not even close. Don’t forget that.”

Lexa’s expression echoed Clarke’s feelings. “Never.”

She stared at her a moment longer then adjusted the pack on her shoulder and stepped into the corridor. A few guards accompanied her, Lexa, and Kane to the ground floor of the tower, where Clarke put the hood of the cloak up. Lexa nodded approvingly. Kane gave her a quick hug.

“You can do this,” he said.

“I have to.”

“My guards will escort you to the rendezvous,” Lexa said, and her voice and features betrayed nothing beyond a statement from the Commander, but Clarke caught the flash of warmth and worry in her eyes.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” She held Lexa’s gaze for a beat longer then followed two guards down another flight of stairs to what Clarke realized was a cell block. The guard with the torch led them into the last cell, which clearly hadn’t been used as such in a long, long time, and one of the guards triggered a particular stone on the wall. Part of it slid open, revealing more steps. The guard with the torch went in first, then Clarke, then the last guard, who triggered something else so that the wall slid shut.

They moved slowly down the steps and Clarke kept her hand on the wall, which was smooth, like tiles, and damp and cool. She smelled mildew and moisture, and somewhere, water dripped. At the bottom of the steps stretched a corridor, barely wide enough for two people. The three of them walked in silence, single-file, for what seemed like a long time, until Clarke felt the hint of a breeze on her face. The corridor ended at a heavy metal door and she guessed that the small vent above it was probably the source of the breeze.

The guard who had triggered the entrance to the passageway in the cell spent a few moments sliding the latches of the door back. They grated as she did, but finally she grasped the handle and pulled the door open just enough for one person to pass through. Clarke glanced at her dubiously but then relaxed when Wash leaned in from outside.

“Come,” he said softly. “We must hurry.”

She nodded at the guards and slipped through into the half-light between dusk and full nightfall. The door closed behind her and she looked back at it, but could barely pick it out from the overgrown mound into which it was set. Wash adjusted overhanging vines to cover it even more before leading her a couple hundred yards into the forest. She could still hear the sounds of Polis, but they were faint. How far were they outside the city?

Tam and Mora waited with horses, both cloaked, their hoods up. Tam had a quiver of arrows slung across her back and her bow was hooked to her saddle, within easy reach. Mora, too, had a quiver and bow. They wordlessly mounted when Wash and Clarke arrived and Clarke swung into the saddle of the horse Wash held for her and he waited for her to settle before he mounted his. Mora took the lead and Clarke let her horse pick its way carefully through the underbrush until they came to what had probably started as a game trail. Mora guided her horse onto it and they all fell in line behind her, Wash bringing up the rear.

Clarke relaxed a little. She’d spent enough time on her own in the forests that it was like a homecoming for her. She’d found healing out here, and though there were things within the forest that were dangerous, she would never think that way of the forest itself.

Darkness enveloped them, but Clarke caught glimpses of stars through breaks in the canopy and she thought about the journey she’d made from Arkadia to Polis not so long ago, when Lexa found her. A rush of heat raced through her blood. Lexa would always find her. She hadn’t felt the certainty of that until this moment, hadn’t known what it was like to be truly part of someone’s life until today, when Lexa kneeled to her.

She had no idea how this would work between them, no idea if she’d survive what the mountain chose to unleash this time, but she would do everything in her power to end the mountain’s hold and, if she were completely honest with herself, she would do everything in her power to see Lexa again.

The night sounds of the forest surrounded them as they rode, mixing with the soft thud of the horses’ hooves. Clarke stayed alert, though she knew she probably needed to sleep, since she’d been up since long before dawn, but she had too many thoughts racing around in her brain to do that. Instead, she ran through every possible scenario she could with regard to the mountain and Nia, who was probably not on her way to Arkadia, but instead headed for the mountain.

Emerson probably had the codes to the weapons systems, and she guessed there were still a few missiles available. He was probably thinking that Clarke would turn herself over to the mountain if he claimed he was going to use one of the missiles on Arkadia or Tondc. But if that happened, Clarke had to have several plans ready to go because chances were, Emerson would fire a missile anyway, because he would want Clarke to suffer what he had suffered—the loss of all her people.

The only way to prevent that was to find a way to disable the mountain’s weapons systems before whatever deadlines he set. Hopefully, Sanders and Pike would fight Emerson on that, but knowing Emerson, he would have no problem killing both of them to ensure his plan, and Clarke had no doubt that ultimately what he wanted was to destroy Arkadia and make sure Clarke saw it.

So basically, she had to stay hidden to delay Emerson, figure out a way to free Monty, Jasper, Harper, and Sam, and disable the Mt. Weather weapons systems. She wasn’t yet sure where Nia fit in with this, but Lexa would be dealing with her in addition to providing help on the ground should _Azgeda_ decide to launch a full-scale attack on Arkadia, so Clarke would focus primarily on the mountain. Again.

She stared grimly into the dark. Yep. Just another day on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A MILLION GAJILLION thanks to all of you who are with me on this trip, and who have left kudos and comments. I so appreciate it. You have no idea.
> 
> SO. The day we dreaded is upon us, and Clarke has to leave Polis and say her goodbyes to Lexa. #angst #shit #damnalltheseassholesatthemountain
> 
> Which means this is another scene with feelz, and I re-wrote it a billion times, because THIS scene, friends, is where Lexa lays it on the line and Clarke is all, "omg" and Lexa is all, "for realz" and...well, hell. And I really, really hope I captured even a fraction of what the connection between these two strong women means to each of them, because it's pretty special to me, and I wonder, sometimes, if the words I have are adequate.
> 
> I also hope you'll stick with me on this ride, because we are not done with Clexa. NO. WE ARE NOT. Do not lose hope!
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Apple & Stone, "Enigmatical 2013"; Tall Heights, "Spirit Cold"


	36. Through the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and the scouts Lexa provided for her make their way back to Arkadia, but not without having to take a few precautions along the way.

Tam led them along an intricate network of game trails interspersed with stretches through underbrush that slowed their progress but probably helped create a confusing trail. At one point, they crossed a stream several times then returned to game trails, and on some they were able to travel at a canter.

Clarke watched the forest, and though she didn’t see any animals, she heard them moving in the canopy above or on the ground. Nothing that sounded like a large predator, but she wasn’t worried about those with three _Trikru_ scouts riding with her. And if _Azgeda_ was anywhere near, they’d hear them. _Azgeda_ didn’t know these forests as well as _Trikru_ , and could get careless, as they had when Clarke managed to rescue Zander.

Moonrise cast an eerie glow through the trees, and created shadows that seemed to jerk and move with night breezes. Clarke knew nights like this well, as she’d spent quite a few in the forest. It had taken her a while to get used to the sounds, and to know which ones to be cautious of and which were safe, but eventually she’d managed. Moonlight she was wary of, because if she could see, so, too, could others, so she had tended to stay hidden when the moon was out, though most likely _Trikru_ had known where she was regardless of how well she thought she was hiding.

She wondered, then, if Niylah might have been providing Lexa information about her whereabouts. The thought would have made her angry prior to going to Polis, but now it made her feel safe, and it made her understand some of the levels at which Lexa operated. She had made the decision at the mountain with her head and not her heart, but her heart ensured that she knew where Clarke was afterward and that she could protect her if necessary. Clarke wasn’t so arrogant to presume that she didn’t need help on the ground. She was a newcomer to this world, after all, and Lexa respected her enough not to interfere with whatever Clarke was attempting to do on her own unless her life was in danger.

From the first moment they had met, Lexa had been watching her, assessing. Maybe even testing. And Clarke had confounded her, had ensured Finn wouldn’t suffer during his execution, had helped Anya after escaping the mountain, had hauled Lexa through the _pauna_ compound, and then marched with a Grounder army to Mt. Weather. And somewhere amidst all of that, Clarke had seen a hairline crack in Lexa’s armor, had known that the Commander hid the pain she carried, and she challenged her on it. But also somewhere amidst all that, Clarke had started to feel something more for Lexa. She had tried to deny it, and tried to pretend it wasn’t why she took Lexa’s decision at the mountain as hard as she did, but the only person she’d been fooling was herself.

And now all she wanted was Lexa’s presence, her calm warmth, and nothing between them but skin. She stared up through a break in the canopy and caught a glimpse of the moon. She settled into the motion of the horse, and though their speeds varied, there was a rhythm to their progress, and she nodded off a couple of times, only to jerk awake when her horse changed its speed or went up or downhill and she had to hold on.

She gauged time they’d been traveling by noting subtle shifts in the moonlight, and in the moon’s position in the sky, when she could see it through the trees. At this speed, they should be within the perimeter way before dawn and then it would be a matter of working their way to the back. Hopefully, Bellamy had someone standing by and had kept her arrival private.

They hit another stretch of relative unimpeded travel and Clarke thought again of Lexa, and how she had found a way to speak to Clarke’s heart, how she seemed to be exactly what Clarke wanted and needed, though Clarke herself hadn’t known what that was. Lexa had probably always known. And when Clarke had found a way through her defenses, Lexa had perhaps realized there was no point to fighting, since Clarke had already breached her walls.

Besides, Lexa had wanted her to. She had just realized it long before Clarke did.

Tam and Mora reined their horses to a stop and Clarke did, too. She’d spent enough time with Grounders to know that they’d tell her what they were doing if they felt it was necessary to speak in a situation like this, so she just waited and watched.

Wash moved his horse abreast of Mora and made a motion with his hand. Clarke couldn’t see what it was, and they didn’t speak, but a few seconds later, Mora split from the group and they all waited for what might have been thirty seconds before Tam started forward again. Nobody had said anything verbally, but Clarke figured they were splitting up as part of a pre-conceived plan to confuse potential enemies.

Maybe an hour later Mora rejoined the group and then split off again about thirty minutes after that. Clarke wondered what she was doing. Maybe backtracking? Or perhaps criss-crossing some of the path they’d taken to make it look like there were more of them traveling than there really were? _Trikru_ had any number of ingenious tricks to confuse people and trap them, if necessary.

Another hour later, Mora reappeared. She rode next to Wash for a bit, but Clarke didn’t hear them speak, and guessed they were using hand signals, since they were behind her. Tam glanced back at her a few times, but other than that, no one interacted directly with her. Nevertheless, Clarke knew that they would do whatever they could to keep her safe. She checked the sky again, trying to figure out the position of the moon. From her estimate, they’d been traveling for six hours, but she wasn’t sure what that meant since Tam could have been taking a less obvious route.

A few minutes later, Tam stopped again and dismounted. She went to Clarke’s horse and made a motion Clarke recognized as “quick break.” Good call. She had to pee. She dismounted and went behind a nearby bush, Tam keeping watch, then got back on her horse. They started moving again and Clarke let herself nod off because she needed to get what rest she could since she might not have the opportunity for much when she got to Arkadia.

She snapped awake just as Tam and Mora were again reining their horses to a stop. Wash moved his horse next to hers and made a motion with his finger that was like a semi-circle. They had reached the perimeter. Clarke looked up through the trees at the sky. She’d been asleep for a while, and her muscles had stiffened. Lexa would have been proud, that she’d managed to sleep and stay upright in her saddle.

The three scouts dismounted and Wash motioned for Clarke to do the same. She did, and stretched a little. Mora moved into the forest on foot and the rest of them remained where they’d dismounted, the horses shifting their weight back and forth, but not making much noise. Tam had her bow ready while Wash’s hand rested on the hilt of his sword.

Clarke drew the cloak closer around her. The night was chill, and since they weren’t moving, she wasn’t able to warm up that way. A nightbird hooted and Wash exchanged a look with Tam. She drew an arrow from her quiver and stood, silent, as she nocked it. The hoot sounded again, this time closer. Clarke thought she heard something moving in the forest in the direction Mora had gone. She glanced at Wash, who was staring into the trees.

There it was again. Footsteps. Maybe twenty yards away. Couldn’t be _Trikru_ , especially this close to Arkadia in forests crawling with _Azgeda_. Wash put his hand on her arm and motioned for her to crouch. Whoever it was moved past, then was gone.

Mora appeared a moment later with a man Clarke didn’t recognize, but he was clearly friendly with the other scouts, as he flashed a smile in the dark and gripped forearms with Wash and Tam. The _Trikru_ scout Lexa had said would meet them, she guessed. He was built like a tree stump, squat and powerful-looking, and clothed in dark trousers and shirts. His hair hung in matted braids down his back and he moved closer to Clarke and nodded at her before he gathered the reins of the horses and started leading them away.

Wash crouched next to Clarke and made a motion with his fingers to mimic someone walking and he pointed in the direction Mora had initially gone. She nodded and stood, and followed Tam while Wash brought up the rear. Mora roved ahead, presumably as an early warning system. And sure enough, twice more they heard the nightbird and Wash would immediately pull Clarke to the forest floor while they waited for the next cry to determine where the _Azgeda_ warrior was. Both times, Clarke heard what might have been two or three people moving through the forest nearby, but making no effort to disguise their footsteps. They didn’t speak, and perhaps they thought they were being stealthy, but forest craft definitely wasn’t their strong suit.

Soon, Clarke picked up a glow above the trees ahead. Arkadia. Mora made her nightbird call again and again Clarke hit the ground, gritting her teeth at a wave of anger. Who the hell did Nia think she was, sending her warriors into both Lexa’s territory and Arkadia’s?

A rock dug into her knee, but she didn’t move. At least two _Azgeda_ warriors passed their position, farther away than the last group, but still audible. Wash touched her arm and motioned that she could stand, so she did, and continued to follow Tam. The low hum of Arkadia’s power grid indicated that they were close. They conserved energy at night, but there were still lights visible at strategic points along the fence. That had to be Bellamy’s idea.

She lay flat between Wash and Tam until Mora joined them, nodding that it was all clear. Now it was just a matter of crossing the thirty feet to the spot Clarke knew Bellamy meant when he told her to go in through the back. She pointed at it and Mora studied the fence for a few moments. Kane had given them a window for Clarke’s arrival, and if everything had gone according to plan, he had alerted Raven as soon as Clarke left Polis. She pulled a stick out from under her belly and hung onto it.

The two big searchlights positioned over Arkadia’s back fence swung their beams away from the forest where Clarke and the scouts lay and Wash gripped Clarke’s arm and motioned. She got up and ran in a crouch toward the back wall, Wash close behind. The lights were already swinging back toward the forest they had just left.

Clarke touched the stick to the wire of the fence. It sparked. Damn. Clarke chewed her lip, thinking. She and Wash couldn’t stay in this position for long. It was too exposed. Very soon, one of the searchlights would sweep this part of the fence.

“Halt. Who goes there?” someone said softly.

Clarke sagged in relief at Raven’s voice. “It’s Clarke.”

Raven appeared on the other side of the fence. “Well, hello. Out for a stroll, are we? Hold on.” She fiddled with a device she held in her hand. “And…now. Come on.”

Clarke kicked her pack between the bottom wires of the fence then squeezed between them. Wash followed. She was barely on her feet before Raven was giving her a hug. “ _So_ glad to see you. Who’s your friend?” She released her and gave Wash a onceover.

“Wash. He’s one of Lexa’s scouts. My mom patched him up before I went to Polis. Wash, this is Raven.”

He nodded at her.

“Oh, yeah. I remember,” Raven said. “Didn’t get to actually see him, though. Seems like forever ago. Stand clear.”

Clarke and Wash pressed against the back of the storage building that was only a few feet from the fence. Raven pressed the button again and Clarke heard a faint buzzing as the fence re-electrified.

“It’s going to be light out soon, so we need to get both of you inside. Wash will probably be okay, since he can mingle with the other _Trikru_ we’ve got inside with us, but you—not so much. I don’t know how you do it, but once again, you’re the most wanted woman in the world. Must be your charm.”

“Probably the infamy,” Clarke said as she picked up her pack and handed Wash’s to him.

“Or that. Follow me.” She moved along the wall of the storage building and stopped at a certain panel and felt along its edges until she was able to slip it from its moorings. “Go on. Only a select few know about this escape route, and no, that doesn’t include Pike or Sanders.”

Clarke climbed through into a cramped, dimly lit room followed by Wash. Raven did next, and Clarke didn’t offer to help because she knew Raven got testy about that. Besides, she seemed to have it figured out, as she carefully maneuvered her bad leg in with her hands before bringing her good leg in. Clarke did help her with the panel and Raven showed her how it worked.

“Nice, huh? Can’t even tell it’s there. Monty and I—” she stopped and cleared her throat.

“We’ll find them,” Clarke said. “If it’s the last thing I do, we are going to bring them home.”

Raven gave her a look. “Hopefully, it’s not the last thing you do. As frustrating as you can be, we like having you around. Wait here.” She slipped through the main door and Clarke put her hood down and looked around the room. Which was pretty much just a bare space with a couple of empty shelves. She returned a few minutes later with Lincoln and Octavia.

“Hey,” Octavia said, and much to Clarke’s surprise, she hugged her. Lincoln gripped Wash’s forearm and grinned then gave Clarke a quick hug.

“Okay, kids, enough bonding. Here’s the plan,” Raven said.

“She’s gotten bossy since you left,” Octavia said with a shrug and Raven rolled her eyes.

“As I was saying—Clarke, you’re totally crashing with Octavia, because then it doesn’t look weird if Bellamy comes by. Wash, Lincoln has a couple of other _Trikru_ in the room next to him, so you’ll just be one of Indra’s crowd. There’s an extra bunk in there. He’s already talked to them about this. We’ve got about twenty _Trikru_ warriors in Arkadia at the moment, so you’ll just be an extra and no one’s running around counting.”

Wash nodded.

“What happened to the other people here calling for a vote?” Clarke asked.

Octavia made a face. “Half of them left for the mountain after the most recent attack. The other half stayed when they realized what an alliance with anybody holed up in the mountain means.”

“It’s like there’s something in the air up there that turns people into bigger assholes than they already are,” Raven said matter-of-factly and Octavia snorted. Lincoln’s jaw clenched but he managed a tight smile.

“I’ll need to talk to the survivors of the attack,” Clarke said.

“Whoa, _Wanheda_ ,” Raven said and Wash raised his eyebrows.

“First, we need to get you to Octavia’s. Then you need a nap. I’ll radio and let Kane know you’re here. Stop being Commander of everything for a minute. We already have Lexa for that.”

Octavia smirked and Clarke felt a blush building under her collar. Hopefully it wouldn’t make it past that, though Octavia gave her a look. Clarke pretended not to notice.

“After you rest up, we’re going to make a better disguise for you. Because this—” Raven touched Clarke’s kerchief, “is not going to do it. Once we get that taken care of, then we start plotting world domination. I figure that’ll be just after lunch. Wash is in on that. Leave it to the delinquents to make sure we have places we can do that. I’ll let Octavia know where and when. Okay, everybody clear?”

Octavia mock-saluted and Raven gave her an eyeroll. Clarke smiled. She’d missed them, and it was actually good to be back.

“My place is out of the way and easy to access,” Octavia said. She put Clarke’s hood up for her. I’ll walk with you, then Lincoln will take Wash. If something doesn’t work with this, we’ll find another place for you, after we get you all disguised. Let’s go.”

Clarke glanced at Wash and he gave her a nod of encouragement. She was glad he was here, because he was a connection to Lexa, though she was happy to be back, she missed Lexa more than she thought possible. Without another word, she followed Octavia out of the storage room to one of the smaller structures behind the main. Few people were about, but she kept her head down, relying on Octavia to deal with any questions.

They made it to her quarters unaccosted and unobserved and Clarke glanced around, a little anxious about being in a confined space again without the ability to open balcony doors and invite the outdoors in. Fortunately, a row of plants sat on some shelves that Octavia had put together using scrap metal. She’d also placed pieces of wood of various sizes in strategic locations, as if they were pieces of art. One corner held a few long sticks bound together with a strip of leather, leaning vertically against the wall.

She saw Clarke looking around and shrugged. “It helps make it feel more like home,” she said.

“Yeah. It does. I like it.” She did. It was soothing, knowing these parts of the outdoors were here with her.

Octavia gave her a towel and pointed her to the shower. “All kinds of stuff in there to clean up. Yours is to the right of the sink. Clean clothes on the chair over there. I’ll be at Lincoln’s for a couple of hours. Get some sleep.”

“Thanks.”

Octavia nodded and went to the door.

“Hey. It’s good to see you,” Clarke said.

“Yeah. Likewise. Wish it was better circumstances.” She exited and Clarke locked it from her side. She took a quick shower and put on a clean shirt she’d brought from Polis then stretched out on Octavia’s bed, fingers fiddling with the watch around her neck. There was no way she’d be able to sleep, as wound up as she was, but within a few minutes, she nodded off, Lexa’s smile the last thing she thought about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thanks to everybody for the kudos and comments. I so enjoy that you've joined me on this journey, and I so appreciate the time you take to let me know what you think. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but I'm sneaking around in the forests between Arkadia an Polis, and it may be a little longer than usual. You can also hit me up on Twitter:@andimarquette
> 
> We saw in the last chapter where Lexa is with regard to Clarke, and we all know that when Lexa makes a decision like that, she's all in. How that plays out in terms of what happens at the mountain remains to be seen, since there are a lot of different players on the board right now, all with different things at stake, different motivations, and different end games. And in the next chapters, we'll see where all of this will go.
> 
> Some songs I listened to while writing this here chapter thingie: Tourist, "Run" (Lil Silva Remix); Wish I was, "Here" (feat. Olivia Somerlyn)


	37. Behind the Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is back in Arkadia about to make plans with the posse and Lexa has a moment to think about a few things.

“She’s cute when she’s asleep. How would you say Commander of sleep?”

“ _Ridenheda_.” 1

Clarke groaned and rolled over to give Raven and Octavia a glare. “ _Ridenheda_? Really?” She hadn’t heard them come in and she realized then that she hadn’t had nightmares. She attributed it to Lexa, somehow watching over her. Though she wasn’t physically near, Clarke carried her close. Warmth washed over her at the thought.

Octavia shrugged. “She wanted to know.”

She sat up. “How long have I been out?”

“Five hours.” Raven handed her a cup of something hot. “Nice scar.” She pointed at Clarke’s thigh.

“Is that from—” Octavia started.

“Yes. Before Lexa showed up.” She sniffed. “Coffee?”

“A reasonable substitute,” Raven said. “One of the survivors from Farm Station developed it.”

She took a sip. It tasted earthy and had a little bit of spice, like some of the tea served in Polis. “I like it.”

Octavia handed her a packet wrapped in cloth. “Breakfast.”

Clarke set the cup on the shelf next to the bed and opened the packet. Thick slices of bread and what looked like jerky. “How did you get the bread?”

“ _Trikru_ cooking tricks,” Raven said. “It’s a nut flour. A few of the Farm Station survivors have realized it’s stupid not to work with the locals, since we know exactly shit about what we’re doing down here in terms of, you know, living.”

“Hey. Speaking as an original delinquent, I think we’ve done a damn good job of living.” Octavia gave her a look.

“Point taken. Creating food, then.”

Clarke finished a slice of bread and chewed a piece of jerky. Octavia retrieved a metal bottle from a shelf and handed it to Clarke. “Water.”

“Thanks.” She took a few swallows and handed it back.

A knock on the door made everybody freeze. Clarke glanced from Raven to Octavia.

“O? You in there?”

At Bellamy’s voice, they all relaxed.

“Hold on.” Octavia waited for Clarke to pull a pair of trousers on before she let him in, shutting the door just as quickly behind him. He bee-lined for Clarke and wrapped her in a bear hug. She laughed and returned it with equal enthusiasm.

“Hey, Princess. O gave me the news, but I couldn’t get away until now. Shit to do, you know.” He released her and she grinned up at him.

“Really good to see you.”

“You look good,” he said. “I guess I can take Lexa off the top of my asshole list for now.”

Raven snorted.

“So how are you, really?” He studied her, and though he generally wouldn’t prod, he was actually pretty good at picking up when she wasn’t being forthcoming.

“Better than I was.” She smiled again to reassure him.

“Good. Because I need you at full Clarke speed.”

“We all do,” Raven said. “As much as I hate to admit that all the awesome I generate maybe isn’t enough for every circumstance.”

Octavia rolled her eyes and Clarke smiled.

“Okay,” Clarke said, getting right to what was on her mind. “In addition to Raven’s awesome, I’ll need a full briefing on everything that’s happened here. I’ve got details from the Polis side, but I need Arkadia’s, too. Have there been demands yet from the mountain?”

Bellamy grinned. “Good to have you back, Princess. We haven’t heard any demands yet, but Indra has people watching the mountain to see if they send anybody out.”

“Please. They’ll radio,” Raven said. “I’ve been monitoring.”

Bellamy shrugged. “Regardless, they haven’t sent any demands. We can talk about all of this after lunch.”

“Do we have any idea where they’re holding our _kru_?”

Octavia gave her an appreciative glance at her use of the term.

“Pretty sure it’s the mountain. We lost Monty’s signal about two miles away, and there’s no reason they’d not take them there.” Bellamy frowned. “I went with Indra to do a search. Didn’t find anything.” The implication was clear. He found no bodies.

“They’re alive,” Clarke said, and they all waited for her to continue. “Emerson wants revenge on me, and he targeted people who were part of the original forty-seven that were held in the mountain. It’s just coincidence they were all out on one patrol that day, and he got lucky.” She paused. “He’ll want me to see whatever he decides to do.”

Nobody responded for a moment, though Raven glanced at Bellamy and shifted, looking uncomfortable.

“I killed all his people,” Clarke said. “I have to own that, but the reality is, if I hadn’t, ours would have died. That’s a shitty choice to make, but that’s the one I went with.” It felt good to say it, though it still left a bad taste in her mouth.

Bellamy gave her a half-hug. “You did what you had to.”

She leaned into him. He shared the mountain with her, and had been subjected to some of the atrocities its residents had developed. Without him, she would never have been able to get in. “It’s going to take all of us again,” she said. “I’ll need everybody’s help to come up with plans and to keep me and all of us on track. But we will do this.”

Octavia and Raven nodded, solemn.

“We will fucking do this,” she repeated. “And this time, we’ll make sure it won’t come back to haunt us again.”

Raven grinned and Octavia nodded again.

“Yeah, we’ll talk about that,” Bellamy said. “Right now, I need to check in with the patrols. See you all later.” He moved to the door and looked back. “Feels like old times.” And then he left, shutting the door behind him. Octavia sealed it.

“We have to get you disguised,” she said to Clarke. “And someone will be here to help us with that in a bit.”

“You don’t think that looks a bit suspicious? A bunch of people coming by to visit you?” Clarke asked.

“No. Octavia has actually made it a habit to have gatherings in her quarters,” Raven said. “She’s practically become a social director among the delinquents and their acolytes.”

“Mostly because my quarters are relatively isolated from the main structure. Therefore, I have been known to have some friends over.”

“See? Perfect cover.” Raven limped to the bed and plopped down on it and Clarke was struck by how easy it was, interacting with everyone this time around. Polis had indeed been good to her—as had Lexa, in many more ways than one.

Raven pushed a strand of hair out of her face. She actually had it tied back today, and it was rare that Clarke saw her do that. It exposed her face in a different way, and she saw the lines of strain around her eyes that she tried to hide with humor.

“How have you been?” Clarke asked her.

“You know me. Figuring out new and interesting ways to tech the shit out of everything.” She smiled. “I’m going to send batteries to Kane via _Trikru_ express. Some things have to be old-school.”

“Did you radio him?”

She gave her a look. “Hello. This is me you’re talking to. Of course.”

“Any messages?”

“No, but he said he’d let people know you got here.” Raven studied her. “Made some friends in Polis, did you?”

Octavia choked back a laugh.

Clarke ignored her. “Let’s hope. Because we’ll need the help.” The memory of Lexa’s lips on hers and the warm, solid feel of her pressed hard against her flashed through her head. She avoided Octavia’s gaze.

Raven frowned, but didn’t say anything since somebody knocked on the door.

“Hey, it’s Gina,” came a faint voice from the corridor.

Octavia unlocked the door and peered out. Satisfied, she let the newcomer in. “Clarke, this is Gina, as you already heard. She came down with the main Ark.”

Clarke nodded at her. “Hi. You look familiar.”

“So do you.”

“Not like that’s hard,” Raven said. “Clarke’s mom was on the council for a while before she became Chancellor.”

“Oh, yeah. Now I remember. You were friends with Wells.” She paused. “Really sorry to hear he’s no longer with us.”

“Thanks. Yes, Wells was probably my best friend growing up.” She didn’t want to think about him, or the sacrifice he’d made to keep her from hating Abby. She wished she could have apologized to him or let him know somehow that she understood, now, what he’d done and why.

“Well, I’m glad to finally meet you. There are lots of rumors about you—some better than others.”

“Which ones do you believe?”

“None.” She smiled, and it lit up her soft, dark eyes. “I like to form my own opinions.” She set her pack down on one of the two chairs at Octavia’s small table.

“Yeah, okay,” Raven said. “Hate to interrupt a clear bonding moment, but Gina’s here to help disguise you. She has many talents, among them hair.”

“That makes me sound like I somehow produce it out of thin air.” Gina smiled at Raven. “Not that I couldn’t figure that out.”

“How do you say Commander of hair in Grounder?” Raven asked and Gina laughed, a light warm sound. “Because if it’s ‘harr’ or something like that, ‘Harrheda’2 might be kind of fun. Or we could reverse it. ‘Hedaharr.’ See what I did there?”

That made Octavia snort a laugh while Clarke grinned.

“Face it, Clarke,” Raven said. “You missed me.”

“Every day,” she shot back. And she had. Her relationship with Raven hadn’t been the best given what happened with Finn, but they had managed to come to a place of mutual understanding before Clarke left after the mountain.

“All right,” Gina said, “as much as I’d love to continue to bask in Reyes’ running commentary—” she gripped the back of the empty chair at the table. “Clarke? If you’d sit, please?”

“Are you saying you actually _don’t_ love my running commentary?” Raven pretended to sound hurt. “And here I thought I was cracking that tough exterior.”

Gina smiled. “Keep trying.”

“Ouch,” Octavia said with a smirk.

Clarke sat down and glanced at Raven, who leveraged herself off the bed. “Fine. I know when I’m not welcome. I’ll take my commentary back to engineering. We’re good together.” She looked at Octavia. “See you in a bit.”

“Okay.” She accompanied Raven to the door. “Be careful.”

“Do you know me?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m saying it.”

Gina laughed again.

“Later, all,” Raven said as she slipped out. Octavia sealed the door behind her.

“All right, _Harrheda_ ,” she said. “Your show.”

Clarke smiled as Gina took a brush and a pair of scissors out of her backpack.

  
1 _Ridenheda_ : Commander of sleep. Literally, sleep, “riden,” combined with _Heda_. Octavia combines words like Clarke did in Polis.   
2 _Harrheda_ *: Commander of hair. This is a total joke term. There is no term via Peterson (yet) for “hair,” so Raven makes one up to apply to Gina that is clearly based on hair, though with a sound like “far.” Octavia continues the joke later on.

###

Lexa looked up from the table when Kane and his guard entered the meeting room. Titus and the warrior with her straightened. Dawn was barely a hint over the city and she had several candles lit as well as a few torches.

“Commander, if I may interrupt.”

She gave him a cursory nod.

“I heard from Arkadia. They arrived.” He grinned. “Raven said that Wash and Clarke are inside and resting.”

She gave him a quick answering smile in spite of herself. “Thank you.” He appeared rumpled and Lexa guessed he hadn’t slept much during the night. She sympathized.

“As soon as I know more, I’ll tell you.”

“Perhaps you should rest, too,” she said. “I’ll alert you should we receive any news.” She looked past him at his guard. “Take him to eat, first.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Kane appeared a bit perplexed at his dismissal, but he went with the guard and Lexa returned her attention to the map. Internally, a wave of relief coursed through her at the news. “Tell me where you found Roan,” she said to the warrior.

“Here.” He pointed at a spot on the map. “There were some thirty loyal _Azgeda_ with him.”

Not far. With horses, it wouldn’t take long to get there. “What about hostile _Azgeda_?”

“Mostly here.” He pointed to an area a few miles west of the initial spot. “They do not appear to know that Roan is near, but he is aware of their location.”

Good. Nia’s son paid attention. “Will he come to Polis?”

“ _Sha_.”

She looked at Titus, who pursed his lips for a moment as he considered the information.

“Does he require an escort?” Titus asked the warrior.

“No, but a scout would be helpful. He is not familiar with that area of _Trikru_ territory.” Titus looked at Lexa for confirmation.

“Send Arling,” she said to the scout. “Tell no one. Go.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He bowed his head and left.

Silence descended between them as she continued to stare at the map, though she didn’t really see it. Her thoughts were on Clarke, and what had transpired between them.

“You need sleep, _Heda_ ,” Titus said.

She half-smiled, knowing he was right but hating it because she wanted to be awake if Clarke contacted Kane. “Very well. Tell Kane he is to alert me if Arkadia contacts him again—immediately upon contact.”

Titus nodded. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” His expression was blank, but she was used to that. She left and four guards immediately fell in with her and accompanied her up the stairs to her quarters. Once there, she went instead into Clarke’s and walked straight over to the shelves where Clarke had left the paintings and drawings she had been working on. Lexa gathered them all up and took them into her quarters. She placed them on her table without looking too closely then removed her swords and knives, ensuring they were within easy reach of her bed.

Outside, dawn finally washed some of the night away and Lexa stood on her balcony to savor it, and to savor the knowledge that Clarke was safe, for now. Even through her fatigue, a now-familiar heat swept through her at thoughts of Clarke. She had no doubts about swearing fealty to her, had no hesitation. And no matter what Clarke decided in that regard, she would honor her oath for as long as she was able.

The memory of Clarke’s expression and then the feel of her lips—it was more than Lexa could ever have hoped for, but she knew the vagaries of the world in which they lived, and she would be content with those few things where Clarke was concerned. After all, they came from two different peoples, with different ways of doing things and different ways of understanding the world.

Still, Clarke understood her on levels no one ever had, and she, in turn, understood Clarke in similar ways. She wasn’t sure yet what these things meant, but they affected her deeply, and made her feel things she thought had withered and died over the past few years.

She went back inside and stretched out on her bed, not taking any clothing off. She missed the feel of Clarke against her, but she managed to fall asleep.

When she woke, it was mid-morning, from the position of the sun streaming through the glass of her balcony doors, and she got up quickly and went to the bathroom. Afterward, she sheathed her knives then stared at the parchments she’d brought from Clarke’s quarters. The one right on top made her chest ache, a strange, physical longing for Clarke that made it difficult to breathe for a moment. She picked it up, almost tender, studying it. Was this how Clarke saw her? It was an exquisite likeness, and captured aspects of _Heda_ , but not what she felt beneath that for Clarke.

A knock sounded.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and she put the painting down.

Balta entered, carrying a tray of food. “Am I intruding, _Heda_?”

“No. _Mochof_ ,” she said, used to Balta seeming to always know when to appear or not.

Balta set the tray down and glanced at the parchments. “That is how you appeared when she first met you.”

She appreciated that Balta made no comment about why Lexa had gone into Clarke’s quarters to retrieve the paintings. “She told you that?”

“ _Sha_.” Balta’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “She said she was surprised that you would meet with her, after what had happened to your warriors.”

“Mmm.” She remembered that day vividly. She hadn’t known what or who to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the woman who walked into her tent without weapons, who refused to be intimidated. And the first time her gaze locked with Clarke’s, she had known that this was a woman to be reckoned with, someone who could be both a formidable foe but also an ally, if Lexa allowed it. If she allowed herself to explore the feather-light touch of the connection she worked to deny, until Clarke herself walked right through her defenses.

“I told her it was because you wanted to know who this _Skaikru_ leader was, who managed to best your warriors.” Balta looked through the stack of parchments and pulled one out that she handed to her. “She started this one perhaps two days ago.”

Lexa studied it for a while. Another portrait of her, but this time not in facepaint and not wearing her armor or coat. Clarke had drawn her, again, from the chest up, and she wore a loose dark shirt that exposed her neck. Here, Clarke had captured the hint of a smile and her eyes seemed to dance with mischief and maybe tenderness. Clarke really could see right through her. The thought was both exhilarating and a little unnerving. But the painting also captured part of what she felt for her and her heartrate sped up.

“She told me this is what she sees when you tease her.” Balta moved the stack of parchments away from the tray so she could set dishes directly on the table.

“She told you I tease her?” Lexa sat down and picked up a piece of bread that she dunked in the bowl of stew.

“ _Heda_ , I have eyes. She told me nothing I did not already know.” Balta left her to eating and went into the bathroom where she was probably checking to see what Lexa may or may not need.

She looked through the rest of the parchments as she ate and found a few more sketches of herself, some of Balta, two of Wash, and a painting of a man she didn’t recognize, but she felt in her gut was Clarke’s father. He was standing outside Arkadia, which was impossible because he had died in space. Her chest tightened as she looked at it. Clarke had painted him smiling, and she wondered if Clarke knew that she’d captured the parts of him that she carried within, from the stubborn jaw and easy grin to the light in his eyes. She had brought him with her, and maybe doing so brought her a bit of healing. Lexa carefully put the parchment back on the pile, and she was surprised at how much she missed Clarke’s presence.

“ _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes_ ,” Balta said behind her. “ _Em laik uf_.” 3 She started placing the empty dishes on the tray.

Lexa frowned. “Not for Costia.”

Balta stopped and looked at her. “It was. She gave you the best of herself and in the bond she forged with you, she feared only for you and your safety. Everything she did was to ensure it. That is the strength of love.”

Lexa glanced at the pile of Clarke’s art then back at Balta, whose expression immediately softened.

“ _Heda_ , you are not to be blamed for Costia’s death. We all make our own choices, and you were one of hers.”

“Had she not done so, she might still be alive.” The ache in her chest was not only for Costia, but for Clarke.

“That we cannot say.”

Lexa thought of Nia, and the day Costia had been taken. “Perhaps _I_ should have made a different choice.”

“You loved each other and you both knew what that would involve.”

“Maybe we didn’t.”

“Either way, it does not make it wrong to have loved her.”

Lexa bit her lip and sighed.

“And it is not wrong to love again.”

Lexa forced herself to meet Balta’s gaze even though she knew Balta would see some of what she felt within, no matter how well she masked it.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ is a leader in her own right. She understands you in ways Costia never could. She is not Costia, and you should stop using Costia as an excuse to hide from love.”

Lexa had no response and Balta finished with the dishes and picked up the tray. “She is good for you, _Heda_. As you are for her.” And then she was gone, and Lexa wished, again, that Clarke was here, safe in Polis, safe with her. She bit her lip again then slipped effortlessly into the demeanor of the Commander. Clarke needed her. No matter what happened between them, Lexa would uphold her oath. There was some comfort in that. She left her quarters.

  
3 _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes_ … _Em laik uf_ : Love is not weakness…it is strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, everybody! I am able to post this week, which is awesome, but it's dicey for next week, since I have to go traipse around most of next week and things get cray when that happens. I'll keep y'all posted on wtf. :D And you can always hit me up on the Twitterz: @andimarquette
> 
> Clarke is back with some of her peeps, and already the plotting begins, but we're still waiting on the demands. Muah ha ha! I'm mulling something with regard to Gina that departs from canon..we'll see if it works. You'll know if it does. hee hee
> 
> And yes, Clarke is missing her some Lexa (and vice versa!!!!). But both Lexa and Clarke know that when the shit is real, they have to deal with it. Clarke is trying to keep her feelz for Lexa on the DL...we'll see how successful she is at that. So we'll see how they manage to reconcile their respective positions with what they feel for each other. Should be fun! lol
> 
> THANK YOU OH, SO MUCH for all the comments and kudos. I really appreciate that you take the time to read this and do that. I try to respond to comments as soon as I can, but I might be on watch duty at Arkadia and it could be a little bit. Don't worry! I'll get to 'em ASAP!
> 
> Some tunes that accompanied me as I wrote this chapter: DIGY, Kirsch, and Lakefield, "Tragedy" (feat. Kirch; Lakechild remix); A-Sho and Lucky Rose, "Into the Sun"; FRENSHIP, "Nowhere"


	38. Demands from the Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The demands arrive and Clarke and co. have to start coming up with some plans. Like, fast.

Clarke stared in the mirror. Gina had trimmed her hair so that it fell just above her shoulders. That alone made her look different, but she’d also dyed it brown, so that it was just slightly lighter than Lexa’s hair color. Actually, it was close to Gina’s color.

“That’ll do,” Octavia said from the doorway into the bathroom. “We’re renaming you, too. Clare, when we’re not in here.”

“Not bad. You only took one letter out.”

“Raven’s idea. Don’t talk much to people other than—well, you know. And we’ll probably be able to avoid questions. Everybody’s wound up, anyway, about other issues, so it should be okay.”

Clarke stepped past Octavia. “Thanks,” she said to Gina. “I don’t even recognize myself.”

“It’ll do. It won’t last very long. Maybe three washings, so try not to do that for a bit. It’s a good idea to keep out of public view as much as possible. Not like there’s so many people here that they won’t ask you questions.” She put her things in her pack. “Let me know what else everybody needs,” she said. “Good to finally meet you, Clarke.”

Octavia let her out then locked the door again.

“Do we trust her?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.”

“How do you know her?”

“She’s got no love for Pike or Sanders. And she’s also got an on-again, off-again thing with Bellamy.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“They’re off right now, but they still hang out. She’s too good for him, actually.” She smirked when she said it. “Although I like him better when they’re on. She calms him down.”

“So how come they’re not on full-time?”

“I think he drives her crazy. He responds well to strong women—” she gave her a pointed look, “but it gets tiring for them because it’s like he can’t figure out how to deal with that on a permanent basis and he gets into his overbearing mode and ends up trying to stifle them and they back off. He can’t help it. He’s not very good with self-analysis. But who knows? Maybe they’ll work it out.”

She could see how a woman like Gina would be good for Bellamy, but she also knew how maddening he could be. “So how is Raven really?”

“There’re some pain issues with her leg. Your mom’s slowly convincing her that she should try a few things. But you know how she is.”

She did know. The last thing Raven would do would be to ask for help with anything.

“Although Gina’s been working on her, too, and that seems to be having more of an effect than your mom. Gina’s good with problem personalities.” She smiled and rummaged through a footlocker against the wall and pulled an old, dark-colored jacket out.

“I’ll get ready,” Clarke said, and she grabbed her chest bindings and went back into the bathroom, thinking about Raven. She carried part of the mountain, too, and Clarke worried how that would affect her if she had to go back. She worried about it for all of them.

Once she finished in the bathroom, she put her boots on along with the jacket Octavia gave her. It was large on her, but she preferred that because it hid her knife.

“Ready?” Octavia asked, checking her over.

“Yeah.”

Just as she was unlocking the door someone knocked.

“O, it’s Raven.”

Octavia let her in. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a message from Mt. Weather. You and Clarke—whoa.” She stared at Clarke. “Gina did a great job—”

“Raven,” Clarke said.

“Right. Message. Mt. Weather. One of ours—well, someone who was formerly with us—brought it.”

“Where is this person?” Clarke asked.

“At the gate. Abby’s there, now.”

“I need to see—”

“No,” Octavia said. “You can’t be running around here. You may not look that familiar right off, but anybody who knows you is going to figure it out. Plus, most people around here know everybody or have seen them, and you’re definitely not part of the usual crowd. The disguise is just to make sure they don’t think you’re _Wanheda_.”

She was right, but Clarke chafed. “I need to know what the demands are,” Clarke said.

“Which is why you’re feeling sick.” Raven grinned.

“What?” Octavia looked at her, clearly not following.

“We’ll take her to medical and Abby will check her over and let her know what’s going on. Bellamy is on his way to tell her this and then he’ll radio when Abby gets to medical. Plus, Clarke can then talk to the survivors of the attack.”

“No, she can’t talk to the survivors,” Octavia said.

“Why the hell not?” Raven demanded.

“Because she would have to say who she really is. Otherwise, why would they talk to her, some random _Skaikru_? We can’t have the _Skaikru_ survivor mentioning that oh, yeah, he talked to Clarke Griffin.”

“What about if I just talked to the _Trikru_ survivor?”

Octavia and Raven looked at her.

“I’m _Wanheda_. It carries a different weight with _Trikru_.”

“That’s a point. O?”

“Let me check with Lincoln on that. It could work.”

“So right now, we kind of wing it a bit. Turn your radio on,” Raven said, and she unlocked the door and slipped out.

Octavia locked it behind her and rummaged in her backpack for her radio.

“They didn’t send anybody from _Azgeda_ to deliver the message,” Clarke said, thinking aloud.

“Because they know how bad that looks.”

“But they wouldn’t have sent anybody alone. So there might be _Azgeda_ waiting for whoever it is to finish with the message.”

“I’d bet on that.” She set the radio on the table and looked at her. “You entered _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_ as the thirteenth clan, didn’t you?”

The change in topic didn’t necessarily surprise her, but she wasn’t quite prepared to discuss what Octavia brought up. “Yes.” She waited for the recrimination.

“I get it.”

Clarke stared at her, wondering if she’d misheard.

“Does Abby know?”

“No.”

“That’ll be fun.” She crossed her arms and regarded her, solemn.

“Definitely,” she said, tone dry. “It’s not common knowledge.”

“Noted. So what’s the deal with Lexa?”

“What do you mean?” She hoped she didn’t sound defensive.

Octavia cocked her head. “Can we trust her? You spent time with her. You have a better sense of her than the rest of us.”

She relaxed. “Yes. I trust that she will honor her role in the _kongeda_ with regard to us. Now that we’re a clan, she is sworn to protect us should we need it, and we will provide a representative for the clan council, which will give us a say in actions that are taken among the clans.” Clarke paused. “We need to find out about these people, since we’re going to be living among them down here, and we need to participate with them.”

“I agree with that part. I’m still not sure about the Lexa part. Who’s to say she won’t leave us at the mountain again?”

The image of Lexa kneeling to her came to mind and a rush of heat filled her chest and raced down her thighs. “She won’t.”

“How can you be so sure? She might decide the mountain’s not worth it.”

Clarke met her gaze squarely. “She won’t. The clans witnessed the _kongeda_ oath. We’re part of them, now, like when the Ark came together. Lexa takes oaths seriously.”

“Like the first time at the mountain?” she said, sarcasm lacing her tone.

She bristled. “That wasn’t an oath. That was an arrangement.”

Octavia raised her eyebrows.

“Look, I know how people feel about Lexa and about what happened at the mountain. I was messed up about it, too. I’m still messed up. But I’ve talked to her about it, and she listened. She spent a lot of time working to convince the council to bring us in as the thirteenth clan because she knew that would guarantee she could help us, when it was hard enough getting people to agree to go to the mountain the first time. Now she has the leverage we all need to bring in the other clans as needed. Besides, she’s got _Trikru_ here, helping. _Azgeda_ might already have overrun Arkadia without her.”

Challenge still lurked in Octavia’s expression. “Good arguments. I’ll go with what you think, here, since you do know Lexa the best out of all of us and she did save our asses in the forest and she’s doing it now, but she’ll want payback. I just hope you thought about that before you took the oath.”

“That’s not really what motivates her,” Clarke said, trying to stay patient.

“Well, since you’re the expert, what does?”

She ignored the dig. “Lexa does what she does for the good of her people, and, by extension, the _kongeda_. She’s not motivated by what’s good for her personally. And if you think about it, she demonstrated that at the mountain.”

“You’re saying she wanted to stay, but she felt it was better for her people not to?” Octavia’s expression had shifted to skeptical.

“Yes. Think about it. Grounders were hunted for years by the Mountain Men. She had a chance to get some of her people out, so she allied with us. Then she was offered a deal to get them out with no effort on her part, no bloodshed. She knew the Mountain Men were doing it to split our forces. But she also knew the mountain has tech that Grounders don’t, and that most of _us_ don’t have, either. She made the decision for her people, not because she thought it was the right thing to do where we’re concerned.” She paused. “And don’t think I didn’t tell her how shitty it was for her to make that decision, no matter her motivations.”

Octavia’s expression relaxed into a smile. “You did?”

“Yes. She knew it at the time, and she knows it now, but she’s also bound by her responsibilities to her people.” And Clarke knew that Lexa carried the burden of the mountain, too, and knew the cost they both had paid.

“Hold on. I’m still imagining you telling her it was shitty. What did she say?”

“It was a private conversation,” she said, feeling strangely protective of Lexa.

“Clearly. And yet she let you live.” She chuckled. “You’ve got some kind of pull with her and obviously, she respects you. Nice work, Griffin.” The radio beeped three times and she picked it up and clicked three times back.

“O, pick up,” came Bellamy’s voice.

“Go ahead.”

“The messenger left. Abby announced that in two hours, she’ll hold a general meeting to discuss it.”

Clarke frowned.

“Where is she now?” Octavia asked.

“Medical. Go as soon as you can.”

“Will do. Out.” She shut it off.

“General meeting?”

“Well, while we’re in crisis mode, Abby figured it was better to have people know what’s going on direct from her. She was worried that rumors would undermine the situation and create more problems.”

“So what does this mean in terms of coming up with a plan?”

Octavia shrugged. “We need to know what the demands are, anyway, so once Abby’s done with the announcement, she’ll probably say that she plans to meet with the council and figure out what the next step is.”

“We need to get a message to Lexa.” Clarke ran several scenarios through her mind about what the demands might be.

“And we will. But we need to first get things figured out so we don’t waste a bunch of Kane’s battery power.”

She was right, but a knot of anxiety had settled in Clarke’s stomach. “Has Sanders been replaced?”

“Kind of. Terra Michaels of Farm Station agreed to serve as an interim until the crisis is dealt with.”

Clarke didn’t know many people from Farm Station, and though she knew the name, she didn’t know much about her. “What’s her deal?”

“Cautious, but seems willing to work with _Trikru_. Unlike Pike. Apparently, he wasn’t that popular with his own station. We’ll deal with all of this later. It’s time for you to get sick.” She put the radio in the pocket of her jacket and unlocked the door. She checked the corridor and motioned Clarke out.

They walked together to the main structure. Clarke kept her head down, but she glanced up a few times and saw several people standing around in groups talking and others walking in various directions. It seemed security had doubled along the front wall and probably elsewhere along the wall. They’d gotten lucky the night before, getting in.

Octavia took them through a back entrance. A couple of men Clarke vaguely recognized greeted her and Clarke pretended to cough as they passed. Nobody seemed to pay attention to them, though a few people greeted Octavia. They didn’t stop and try to talk with her, though, and Clarke figured it was Octavia’s body language, which came across as mission-driven.

When they arrived at medical, Clarke pretended to cough a few more times.

“Hey, Jackson,” Octavia said, “here’s that case Abby wanted to check out.” She motioned at Clarke.

He glanced at Clarke and his eyes widened a little. “I’ll let her know. Hold on.”

Clarke stayed by the entrance, where she leaned against the wall, her head down. A couple of people in the waiting area looked at her, but their gazes didn’t linger.

Jackson reappeared and came over to them. “Okay, she can see you,” he said to Clarke. “Thanks, Octavia.”

“Yeah.” She gave Clarke a nod and left her with Jackson.

“This way,” he said, and she followed him into one of Abby’s small exam rooms. “She’ll be here in a bit,” he said as he opened the door. Then, in a low voice, “Good to see you.” He winked and shut the door behind her.

She was too tense to sit, so she paced, which was awkward because the room was barely six steps across. But it felt better to move around, so she did. The door opened and she turned. Abby entered and shut the door.

“Clarke,” she said softly and then she practically threw herself into Clarke’s arms. She held on for a few moments and Clarke hugged her back, realizing that in spite of everything, she had missed her.

“Hi, Mom.”

Abby squeezed her so hard Clarke almost couldn’t breathe.

“How are you?” Abby asked when she pulled away. “Are you all right? Let me look at you.”

“I’m fine. They took good care of me in Polis.”

“You do look better,” she said. “And not just because of the haircut and new color.” She pushed Clarke’s hair away from her face. “How’s Kane?”

“Fine. Everybody’s pretty much fine. Let’s talk about the message from Mt. Weather.”

Abby sighed. “No break, huh?”

She squeezed her shoulders gently. “Mom, we can’t afford it, and you know that. Who was the messenger?”

She sighed again but relented. “Jax Turner, from Farm Station. He was part of the second group that went to join Sanders, after the most recent attack.”

“Don’t know him. Did he say who sent the message?”

“No. He just said he had a message from Mt. Weather for Arkadia.” She hesitated and her expression hardened. “They want you in exchange for Jasper, Monty, Harper, and Sam.”

Clarke scowled. “I figured. That’s Emerson’s thing. Did anybody else come with Jax?”

“Not that I saw.”

“They wouldn’t have sent him alone. Whoever came with him probably waited in the forest.” She was guessing Pike and _Azgeda_ , but she didn’t voice that part. “What else?”

“I told him you weren’t here and he should know that, since he was here up until a couple of days ago. He knew you had gone to Polis, because he was here when you left.”

Clarke thought for a moment. “Did you say you were in contact with me?”

“No. But he probably assumes it, since he knows you were on your way to make an alliance with Lexa. I told him we hadn’t heard from you in days, and didn’t know where you were.”

“They probably sent him,” she said, “because he knew some of these details and they wanted him to get a feel for things. Did you let him in?”

“No. I met him outside the gates with security.”

“Bellamy was with you?”

“Yes.”

Clarke sifted through a few things before she spoke again. “They would have put a condition on this whole thing. What will they do if you don’t turn me over and what’s the timeline?”

Abby’s jaw clenched and she looked at the floor then back up.

Clarke waited.

“If we don’t find you and deliver you to the mountain five days from today, they’ll send a missile to Arkadia, and another to Polis.” Her expression was grim and Clarke’s stomach clenched.

“Nia probably wants that. And Emerson. He doesn’t like Lexa, either, and he knows that with the _kongeda_ in place, it’s a threat. So if he takes Lexa and Polis out, he ends the _kongeda_ and then he can do whatever the hell he wants, since he’s got a mountain full of tech.” The thought of that happening to Lexa and Polis made her almost physically ill.

“Plus,” she continued, “Nia gets to then claim the title of Commander.” But she’d still be under Emerson’s control. She wondered if Nia had thought about that.

Abby put her hands on her hips. “We have five days to figure something out. And no, we’re not sending you to the mountain to trade.”

“It wouldn’t matter if you did. Emerson won’t release the hostages and he’ll launch the missiles anyway.”

She stared at Clarke.

“He has the codes. And I killed all of his people. So of course he wants to get rid of Arkadia. He’s got enough people right now in the mountain to start his own group, if that’s what he wants. Grounders he doesn’t care about as much in terms of a grudge, but Sanders and Pike probably support bombing Polis.”

“You think he would do that?”

“Mom, you watched him when we captured him. You saw how he is. I dealt with him here and at the mountain. He was part of Cage’s security, so he helped launch at Tondc. He’s more than capable of launching again.” Something else occurred to her. “When you make this announcement this afternoon, the people here are going to push to send me to the mountain.”

“Clarke—”

“You know I’m right. They don’t know Emerson like you and I do. They’ll gladly turn one over to save hundreds, possibly thousands, depending on what’s happening in Polis. They don’t know that he’s probably going to launch anyway. He wants to make sure, though, that I’m with him to watch. And then he’ll kill the captives. He’ll save me for last or, worst case, he’ll let me live so I experience what he did, being the last of my people.” She said it matter-of-factly, aware of how gruesome it sounded, but she knew in her gut that this was what Emerson was most likely to do.

Abby’s expression shifted to horror.

“This is why you cannot tell anyone beyond the select few who know that I’m here. Sanders may still have supporters here feeding him information.” She would bet on that, and she needed to talk to Wash so he could get a message to Indra as soon as possible about the demands. She also needed to alert Polis. “What are you going to say in the general announcement?”

“Just what Jax said and that there will be a council meeting right after to discuss options and we will let everyone know what we decide. I was going to say that we’ll discuss the situation with Lexa—”

“No.”

Abby gave her the look she used when Clarke back-talked her when she was younger.

“Don’t even bring Lexa up.”

“What about the alliance?”

“It’s finalized,” Clarke hedged. “She’ll help in every way she can.”

“So why shouldn’t that be something to share in the announcement?”

“Because it will undermine whatever we do in this situation.”

Abby frowned. “How?”

“Whatever supporters Pike and Sanders still have here can’t know that we’ve finalized anything with Lexa, or that we’re talking to her, because that means you’re probably talking to me, and that will get to the mountain and cause them to change tactics. Right now, we have an advantage because we know the window that we have, and we’re in direct contact with Polis and we have definite backing from the clans, but the mountain may not know that. Right now, it’s better not to say anything about Lexa.”

She shook her head, a look of what might have been grudging awe in her eyes. “Kane was right.”

“About?”

“You. He said I should trust you, that your experience here and the relationships you’ve developed with Grounders would come in handy. It doesn’t mean I completely agree, but I am willing to concede that you have valid points and I’ll play it your way. For now.”

She smiled. “Good. Because we don’t have time to argue. I also need you to stall the council.”

Abby snorted and put her hands on her hips. “You should come to the meeting after the general announcement, then.”

“Too risky. I don’t know the interim member well enough. She may not be a Pike sympathizer, but she might mention somewhere that I’m at Arkadia and after you make this announcement, there will be plenty of people wanting to turn me over to Emerson.” She paused. “Bellamy and Lincoln should go.”

“Oh?” She said it sarcastically, and Clarke knew it was because she didn’t like Clarke dictating to her.

Clarke chose to ignore it. “Have them come here before you make your announcement. They can pretend to be checking on the survivors of the assault.”

Abby sighed, this time in frustration. “Do I get a say in any of this?”

“Nope.” She smiled to blunt her response. “And if Octavia got word to Lincoln, I’ll also be able to talk to the _Trikru_ survivor while he and Bellamy are here.”

“What? No.” She crossed her arms. “No. She’s been talked to enough.”

“Is her condition bad?”

Abby glared but didn’t answer.

“So it’s not. Mom, I need to get her story. Lexa needs to know what happened so she can better coordinate with Indra.”

“She hasn’t been talking to anybody but Indra or Lincoln. You can get her story from him.”

“I want it directly from her. You know what happens when you get things secondhand.” She worked to keep her temper under control, which invariably ratcheted up when she had to deal with Abby in situations like this. Why couldn’t things ever be simple with her?

“Clarke—”

“Mom, you have to trust me on this. I can’t talk to the _Skaikru_ survivor because I might be recognized. But with _Trikru_ …well, I’m _Wanheda_.”

Abby sighed heavily and looked at the ceiling, something she did when she, too, was trying to deal with frustration.

“I’ve been right before,” Clarke said. “Trust me.”

Abby pinched the bridge of her nose, but her posture relaxed slightly. “Fine.”

“Thank you,” she said with genuine warmth.

“How did I end up with a daughter as stubborn as you?”

“You’re actually asking me that? Take a look in the mirror.”

Her eyes widened and then she laughed. “All right. Like I said, I’m going to go along for now, but I need to know more.”

“I’ll tell you what I can after you meet with the council.”

“You’d better.” She gave Clarke another hug. “Wait here. I’ll get Bellamy and Lincoln. Lock the door behind me.”

She nodded. “Thanks.”

Abby left and after Clarke locked the door, she started pacing again, needing Lexa’s calm presence, and her arms wrapped around her, holding her close. She let thoughts of her wash through her, and it seemed to help decrease her anxiety.

As she paced, she glared at the wall. She had thought Emerson would do something like this, and if she stayed pissed about it, then she could avoid being scared. At least for a while. Hopefully, Abby could locate Bellamy and Lincoln quickly, because once Clarke talked to the _Trikru_ survivor—which she would do whether Octavia managed to alert Lincoln or not—then she could think about the next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember, all y'all. I may not be able to post next Friday cuz cray is afoot. I'll try, but no guarantees. Thanks for hanging in with me. :) And yes, you can hit me up on the Twitter thingie! @andimarquette
> 
> Ugh. Emerson's demands are pretty much as crappy as we expected. But we get some Clarke and Octavia time (Cloctavia!), and O is still a little leery of Lexa, but she does enjoy that Clarke admits that she had a little chat with Lexa about that whole mountain thing, and they've come to an understanding (ha ha is THAT what they call it these days...).
> 
> So THANK YOU THANK YOU for the comments and kudos. I so appreciate the time you take to leave them, and also to read this here first-time fanfic thingie I'm doing. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but all the recon I'm up to in the forests around Arkadia might take me away from getting to them right away. Don't worry! I'll get there!
> 
> Some tunes I listened to while working on this chapter: SINAH, "Eyes Watery"; Alex Schulz, "Permanent Summer" (feat. Ashe); The Naked and Famous, "Young Blood"


	39. Plotting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke talks to the Trikru survivor and then hangs out with Raven and things get plotted.

As the minutes passed, Clarke practiced holding her knife, as Lexa had shown her, trying to get used to how it felt with the different grip. She wished there was something in the room she could throw it at because she needed to get some frustration out, but the walls were mostly metal.

She remembered Lexa’s fingers on her hand, and the way she stood behind her the day she had introduced her to knife-throwing. Like most every other time she thought about her, a wave of heat washed through her.

Someone tapped on the door. “It’s Abby.”

Clarke hoped the heat didn’t show on her features as she sheathed her knife and opened the door a crack.

“This way,” she said. “Since we’re not sure what that cough is all about, we’re isolating you.” She winked.

Clarke coughed in response and dutifully followed her to the back end of medical, past the area that she knew Abby used for surgery. They arrived at a dark tarp hung from the ceiling that touched the floor, a makeshift barrier.

“Jackson and I created a bit more space back here for some patients who had to stay a bit longer,” Abby said before she poked her head in past the tarp. “She’s here,” she said to someone inside and then she stepped aside and motioned Clarke in.

“Hey,” Bellamy said. He stood near a narrow, low bed, and the woman in it regarded Clarke, wary. “Heard your idea about talking to the _Trikru_ survivor. Lincoln said it was a good one.”

Lincoln stood on the other side of the bed. He nodded at her.

“ _Heya_ ,” Clarke said to the woman in the bed. She was sitting up, and Clarke automatically assessed her injuries. There was a nasty gash about three inches long above her right eye that covered part of one of her tattoos. It had been stitched, and from the looks of it, it hadn’t been easy to do. That eye was still swollen from whatever had hit her, and her cheek beneath it was, as well. She wore a baggy short-sleeved shirt, but her arms bore the evidence of a recent fight in the scrapes, scratches, and bruises Clarke could see.

She didn’t respond to Clarke’s greeting, only studied her.

“ _Em laik Wanheda_ ,”1 Lincoln said and the woman’s eyes widened slightly. He said a few more things that sounded as if he was telling her that Clarke had to disguise herself, but it was definitely her.

Clarke approached and sat on a chair next to the bed. It brought her closer to her level, and she hoped it put her more at ease. “ _Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru_.”

The woman regarded her, sizing her up. “ _Ai laik Annan kom Trikru_ ,”2 she said. “My people are grateful for what you did at the mountain,” she added in English.

Clarke nodded in acknowledgement. “My people are grateful to yours for helping us then and now.”

“There are now _Skaikru_ in the mountain,” she said, tone flat.

Clarke nodded again. “ _Sha_. _Emo laik natrona, en emo don glong Azgeda op._ _Ogeda oso na throu emo doun_.” 3

Her expression registered surprise and Lincoln flashed Clarke an approving glance.

“ _Annan kom Trikru_ , will you tell me what happened in the attack?”

“ _Sha_.” She sat silent for a few moments. “I will speak in English,” she finally said.

“ _Mochof_.”

“There were nine. Four _Trikru_ scouts, the rest _Skaikru_. Those from _Skaikru_ were seeking their people, who had been taken. We were helping, and we had been searching all day. We were on our way back to Arkadia. The scouts and I ranged in the forest alongside. _Skaikru_ stopped the Rover to move a fallen tree. Those who attacked waited for _Skaikru_ to get out of their Rover, and then came many arrows from the ambush.” She paused, her eyes locked on Clarke’s.

“Do you think the tree had been put there deliberately?”

“ _Sha_. I started to warn the others, but _Skaikru_ was already getting out of the Rover. Three _Skaikru_ fell. I and the other _Trikru_ scouts located the direction from which they came, but we could not go because more arrows were fired. Two _Trikru_ fired back as _Skaikru_ tried to put the fallen into the Rover, but another was shot, leaving one, who was wounded.”

Clarke gave her a few moments. “What happened then?”

“Five _Azgeda_ attacked.” She gestured at the wounds on her face. “They were with the man _Skaikru_ calls Pike.” She almost spat the name.

“ _Em laik natrona_ ,” Clarke assured her. “Did the _Azgeda_ say anything?”

“They spoke to Pike. He said to make sure all Grounders were dead and to hide the bodies and the arrows, and if any _Skaikru_ survived, to bring them to the mountain.”

Clarke clenched her teeth before speaking again. “Did he say why he was doing this?”

“No. Indra arrived with warriors before they could kill me. _Trikru_ drove them away, toward the mountain. She sent scouts after them, but I don’t know what happened then. It was difficult for me to stand because I was dizzy.” She motioned at her head again and stared hard at Clarke. When she spoke again, her tone was hard and measured. “I took an arrow in my leg, _Klark kom Skaikru_. It was _Azgeda_ , but made to look as if it was _Trikru_.”

Clarke turned to Bellamy. “Why didn’t you tell me that part? That’s pretty damn important.”

“Sorry,” he said, appearing remorseful. “Things have been a little hectic.”

She gave him a look before she turned back to Annan. “What happened to those who died?”

“Indra’s warriors brought them back to Arkadia.”

That was good. It prevented rumors about _Trikru_ trying to war with _Skaikru_. “Did she take the arrows?”

“ _Sha_. It would seem those in the mountain wish to make it appear that _Trikru_ wars with _Skaikru_.”

“It would. But _Trikru_ does _not_ war with _Skaikru_ ,” she said, emphatic. “We are in alliance with _Trikru_ , with the approval of _Heda Leksa_ and the council of clans.”

What might have been a smile tugged at the corner of Annan’s mouth. “ _Heda_ works to bring unity and strength. I stand with her, and I stand with _Wanheda_ against the mountain.” She settled back against her pillow, clearly done talking.

“ _Mochof_ , _Annan kom Trikru_ ,” Clarke said softly. She looked at Abby. “When can she leave?”

“Another couple of days. I want to make sure the wound in her leg is healed enough to do that. Indra has checked with me already.”

“Thank you for speaking with me,” Clarke said to Annan. “I will let _Heda_ know that you are healing, in case Indra has not had time to send a message.”

Annan nodded and Clarke got up. Abby pushed the tarp aside, checked, and then motioned for them to join her. “I have to do the general address,” she said in a low voice. “And then after that, the council meeting.”

“I need you to go to that meeting, too,” Clarke said to Bellamy. “Take Lincoln. Once it’s over, we need to contact Kane.”

“Will do.”

“Lincoln, did Annan say anything else that might be important, that maybe she didn’t realize was important?”

“No. But you can trust her with knowing who you are. She is aware that there are those here who would like to turn you over to the mountain, and she will protect you.”

“So you told her about the message that came this morning?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m not sure that was a good idea.” Abby looked at Clarke, frowning.

“No, it was. She’ll listen. That’s an advantage she has, that people think Grounders don’t speak much English. She’s loyal to Lexa, which means she’s loyal to the _kongeda_. And whoever Lexa allies with,” she added hastily. Bellamy shot her a look, but Abby didn’t seem to notice. “Where do I go now?”

“Engineering,” Bellamy said. “I’ll walk you over. Raven pretty much has the run of the place, and people know to leave her alone when she’s working. You’ll be able to hear Abby’s address from there. Then we’ll go to the meeting and when we’re done, we’ll come over.”

Clarke gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks. You’re working your ass off and I appreciate it.”

“Yes, I am. I was wondering when you’d notice.”

She rolled her eyes and looked at Abby. “Good luck.”

“She’s got this,” Bellamy said as he pushed Clarke gently toward the main part of medical. “She gets it from you.”

Lincoln smiled.

“Seems that way,” Abby said. “See you later.”

“Yeah.” Clarke flashed her a smile and walked with Bellamy out of medical, keeping her eyes on the ground.

“You okay?” he asked in a low voice as they walked down the corridor.

“Fine.”

“Can’t say I like the new look, but it works as a disguise.”

“That’s all it needs to do.” They exited the structure. “We’re probably going back to the mountain,” she said.

“I figured. And for the record, there is no way I’m going to let anybody turn you over to Emerson.”

“I don’t want to put you through this again, but you’ve been there and you know where things are.”

He stopped. “Listen to me,” he said, keeping his voice low. “From how it looks, we have to go back. We can’t let these assholes destroy everything without a fight. The odds were against us the last time, too and we got through it.”

“Different circumstances.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’ve been here before. And we will get our people out of the damn mountain again. I just need to know that you’re here, at full Clarke speed, and ready to do this.” He searched her face, and from his expression, he was satisfied. “Good,” he said. “Looks like you’re back.”

“Do we need to talk about me leaving the mountain the first time? Will that help you stop worrying?”

“No. Well, maybe later. You’re here now, and we have to kick some more ass.” He started walking again and she took comfort in his confidence. Once they had a plan, Bellamy would execute it, and he would improvise as necessary, always staying focused on the goal. She remembered when they’d come to the ground, and how, out of that chaos, they’d managed to form a cohesive unit. This must be what having people was all about, she decided, and she was glad that her people weren’t just those here in Arkadia. Because they needed all the help and all the allies they could get.

Lexa filled her mind again and she hoped that Kane would bring her to the radio, if they could get a transmission through, because she really needed to hear her voice, even though it hadn’t even been a full day since she had seen her.

Bellamy knocked on the door to engineering and Raven yanked it open.

“Brought you a package,” he said.

“Oh, good. I was completely out of _Wanheda_.” She moved so Clarke could come in. “So we’ll do our world domination plot after Abby’s speech and the council meeting?”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “See you later,” she said to Bellamy and Lincoln.

Bellamy nodded and shut the door. Raven locked it and Clarke raised her eyebrows, skeptical.

“Nobody thinks it’s weird that you lock the door to this lab when you’re in here?”

“Nope. I have a cranky engineer reputation to uphold.” She pointed at one of the tables, cluttered with an assortment of tools and various parts of things. A plate stacked with bread and dried meat sat at the edge. “Some lunch, if you want it.”

“Thanks.” Clarke picked up a slice of bread and a piece of meat and ate. “Do you know anything about Terra Michaels?”

Raven looked up from the radio she was working on. “Seems nice enough. But Farm Station—I mean, I love Monty and all, but Pike made a few of them go rogue over there. Makes you wonder what they were really growing.”

Clarke smiled. “Then why her for the council?”

“Abby and Sinclair figured that they should bring somebody on from Farm to try to show unity after we all found out that Pike was working with Sanders. They thought that if they didn’t, it might isolate them more, and cause even more to join with him.” She shrugged. “Like I said, I wonder what the hell else they were growing.”

“You’d probably need to ask Monty and Jasper that.”

Raven grinned. “I believe I will.”

Neither said the obvious, that there was a good chance they would never see either of them again. She forced herself to stop thinking that and ate another piece of bread and two more slices of dried meat. It wasn’t bad, but definitely lacked the seasonings of Polis.

“Water’s on the other table,” Raven said as she continued to tinker.

Clarke drank then sat on a stool at the table where Raven worked. “So how are you?” she asked.

“The usual. Dealing with yet another catastrophic crisis that hinges on you.” She smiled, eyes sparking with amusement. “Good thing, though. We were all so bored, wondering what we could do to kill the time since we got to the ground.”

She snorted a laugh. “How’s your leg?”

Raven carefully pulled a wire free of the radio. “You’re not Abby, Clarke.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning that Abby is taking care of my medical situation.”

“Is she?”

Raven looked up, a warning flashing in her eyes. “What exactly does _that_ mean?”

“Are you _letting_ her take care of it?”

She dropped her gaze and picked up a screwdriver. “You’re as bad as she is.”

“Maybe worse. And it’s because we care.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She used a pair of jerry-rigged pliers to do something to the wires. “So what’s your take on this latest attempt to wipe us out?”

Clarke recognized the deflection, and if she pushed, Raven would probably get even more prickly. “Even if I went to the mountain, Emerson’s going to launch anyway.”

She stopped and stared at her.

“I’m pretty sure he wants me there to watch him destroy Arkadia, so I can suffer like he did, when I killed all his people.”

“Why Polis, then?”

“That’s probably for Nia. Then she can try to be Commander. Besides, Emerson knows that I was in Polis, so he’s probably assuming I’m back on good terms with Lexa.”

Raven set the pliers down. “What about our people in the mountain?”

“He’s using them to draw me out. He’s probably thinking that I’ll believe him, about the missiles. He needed something to get me there, so he picked people who were in the mountain with me.” She toyed with a screwdriver.

“He’s not going to let them go, is he?” Her voice was soft, as what Clarke had told her sank in.

“No. He wants me there to watch whatever he does to them, too. And he might not kill me in the end. He might want me to stay alive as the last one of my people, so I suffer like he has.” The enormity of what they had to accomplish in the next five days was as heavy as the weight of Mt. Weather, and felt even vaster than space.

“That is seriously sick.”

“I killed all of his people, Raven. In a way, I see where he’s coming from.”

“Fuck that, Griffin. He was killing all of us in there. He fucking started all of this. He and the other assholes up there, bleeding Grounders dry for decades and creating Reapers. Look what they did to Lincoln.” She used her pliers to stab at the air, emphasizing her points. “We all would have died in the mountain and then they would have started in on the rest of Arkadia.”

“But some of them helped us. And I killed them.” Her stomach tightened and she tried not to think about the day she pulled the lever, but the image was burned into her memory.

“Hey. Stop it. Right now. Not like you had a choice, given what Cage was doing to us at the time.” She set the pliers down. “Look. We’ve all had to make really shitty choices. You have had a whole bunch of them to make. And somehow, you haven’t lost yourself in that.”

She didn’t mention Finn, or what he had done, but Clarke saw in her eyes that she was probably thinking about him. “Maybe.”

“You haven’t. You’ve been really messed up, and you recognized that and went to try to deal with it, but you’re still Clarke, and though you and I have had our differences, I know you will always try to do what you think is right for the most people.”

Clarke wiped at her eyes and Raven got up and retrieved a clean cloth from a shelf and handed it to her.

“We’re going to figure this out. We’re going to come up with a plan, and it’s going to work,” Raven said.

“We have to go back to the mountain.”

“I figured. So I’ve been getting ready.” She smirked and Clarke wiped her face with the cloth.

“And?”

“Well, you know. In case we need to blow shit up, we’re covered.”

Clarke stared at her, thoughts racing at the possibilities. “Define ‘shit’ and about how much can you blow up right now, if we had to do it?”

“Remember when Wick and I took out four of the five turbines at the dam?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve made about that. And some land mines.”

“How many land mines?”

“I’ve got half what we used at the drop ship when the Grounders attacked us.”

“Can you make more?”

She gave her a look. “Clearly, we haven’t met. Hi. I’m Raven. I’ll be your mad bomber today.”

Clarke grinned. “So I’m guessing that’s a yes.”

“Like you had to ask. Before I do, though, let’s develop a plan so I know what exactly we’re doing and I can schedule accordingly.”

“Okay. Has Monty tried to contact you? He managed to patch through the first time we were at the mountain.”

She shook her head, a pained expression in her eyes. “Emerson probably has them under super surveillance, since he was there when they did it then.”

“Monty might be able to find a way.”

“I know. I keep a radio charged and ready just in case.”

“But if they’re under watch, that means they might not be able to do anything on the inside.” Clarke started pacing.

“Like, say, disable a missile system?”

“Yeah.” She stopped. “Do we still have the maps of Mt. Weather?”

“Hello. Do I need to introduce myself yet again?” She got up and pulled three rolled-up pieces of paper off the shelf and Clarke spread them out on a clear space on the table, using tools and pieces of machinery and metal to hold the corners down. One was the drawing she had made all those weeks ago while trying to figure out a way to escape. Another was the map she had gotten from Dante, which provided orientation for newcomers. The third was a schematic that Monty had found.

“And let’s not forget this one.” She pulled the stand over that held the detailed map she’d created on glass when Bellamy went in the first time, so she could track his progress and location. She turned the light on that helped show it better.

“There’s only one missile silo,” Clarke said after a while. “I remember being in the mountain, and there is just one.”

Raven leaned on the table next to her. “I think I know where you’re going with that, which is good, because I’m already there.”

“Can we take it out?”

She was quiet, attention on the schematic. “Possibly. We could, at the very least, take out enough of it to mess up a missile’s trajectory. Are we sure there’s just one?”

“Dante said his father built the one silo into the mountain, but only for defense in extreme cases. So just the one silo, though I don’t know how many missiles are in there, but there’s at least one, and Emerson will no doubt use it on Arkadia first.”

Raven tapped the table with a screwdriver. “We have a couple of options. We can get into the silo from the back end and blow the fuck out of whatever’s there or we can go up top and try to open it and drop some mines down, which will—ideally—cause a chain reaction.”

“Is there a way to keep the silo from opening in the first place?”

“That would probably require somebody with override codes. Or a really good hacker.”

They stared at each other for a bit.

“But we don’t know where Monty’s being held,” Clarke said, “and there is no way Emerson will make the same mistakes with any of them while they’re in there.” She paced again, leaving Raven to look at the maps. “Can we open it from the top?”

Raven shrugged. “We can try. I might be able to blow it open. But if we do that and it doesn’t work, then they’ll know we’re there.” She got up and looked at the schematic she had drawn on the glass.

“The silo’s on the backside, behind the satellite dishes,” she said. “When it was built, it had to provide access for maintenance, at the very least.”

Clarke made a disgusted noise. “Emerson is now the only person who knows where that access point is. All we know is where the silo is, roughly.” She stopped. “We can take out the last turbine on the dam, which will cut all their power, and they won’t be able to launch anything.”

“Except they’ve got generators, and fuel. And they’re not using most of the complex, since there aren’t that many people there. So they’re not using that much power.”

“Fine,” Clarke said, tone cold. “We get in there and take care of Emerson. I doubt he’ll let anybody else have the codes, so with him out of the way, we won’t have to worry about a launch.”

“But he might program the system to do it anyway.”

“So we also disable the missile system permanently.”

“What did you have in mind in terms of that?”

“We find the silo access, we set bombs, and we blow the fuck out of the last missiles.” She jabbed her finger at the maps on the table. “I’m really fucking tired of Mt. Weather.”

“You have my vote,” Raven said quietly and Clarke heard the weight of the mountain in her voice, the way it still loomed in her life. She wondered if Raven had nightmares, too.

“We do still need to figure out what to do about Pike and Sanders. Even with Emerson down, they’ll cause problems. And Nia will, too.”

“But like you said, Emerson is not going to give the codes to anyone because he’s on a personal vendetta and he wants to be the one to press that button. If Emerson’s down, the missiles might also be down, and Pike and Sanders don’t have any leverage over anything without that.”

“Unless Emerson has coded something into the system, in case something happens to him.” Clarke could see him doing that. She picked up another piece of dried meat. “Pike and Sanders still have things we need, that they’ll want to trade.”

“Yeah, well, I prefer we blow the whole damn mountain up, so we don’t ever have to worry about it again.”

“I’m glad we agree on that. But the first thing we could do to buy us some time—and it seems like our best option—is to get in there and take Emerson down.” From there, Monty might be able to hack into the system and disable the missiles permanently. But Clarke preferred blowing them up, too. That would take care of any more Arkers getting any ideas about going on a power trip and trying to use them. And if they could get Emerson out of the way and neutralize Pike and Sanders, they could salvage the rest of the medical equipment and food supplies. And then Clarke would make damn sure they made the mountain uninhabitable.

“I say we go in with explosives,” Clarke said. “And we find the maintenance access and we blow the missiles. They’re not nukes, after all. They’re conventional warheads.” She remembered what happened at Tondc, and her stomach hurt.

“They’ll still make a hell of an explosion.” Raven tapped her screwdriver on one of the maps on the table. “So it’ll have to be a timed detonation, to give whoever places them time to get out.” She looked up. “And I mean out. Clear of the mountain. Because depending on how many missiles are in there, they could bring part of it down.”

“You can build timers, though. You did it with the dam.”

“Yep. But anything could go wrong, so once the bombs are placed, assume you have less time than the timer says.”

“Maybe we should check out the silo hatch, too. Just to see if there’s any way we can mess with it.”

“That will require major stealth, since chances are they’ve got the security cameras running.”

“But there aren’t as many of them inside, so they can’t monitor them all the time.”

“I’m not trying to tell you not to do it. I’m just bringing up things we need to think about before we do it.” She looked at Clarke then walked toward one of the windows that faced the main structure. She had devised shutters for all of them out of scrap wood and metal. She pushed one of the shutters out of the way and opened the window halfway. “Abby’s going to start her speech,” she said.

Clarke joined her and peered outside. A substantial crowd had gathered between her and the main structure, and Abby was already standing on a small, makeshift stage.

Clarke stepped back behind the closed shutter and leaned against it. She was definitely going back to the mountain. How this nascent plan would get put into motion she wasn’t sure, but she needed to talk to both Lexa and Indra, and soon.

  
1 _Em laik Klark kom Skaikru_ : She is Clarke of/from Skaikru (you’ve seen this one!)  
2 _Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru/Ai laik Annan kom Trikru_ : I am…[name] (you’ve seen this one, too!)  
3 _Sha_. _Emo laik natrona, en emo don glong Azgeda op._ _Ogeda oso na throu emo doun_ : Yes. They are traitors, and they have joined Azgeda. Together we will fight them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #PrincessMechanic time! Hope you liked the Clarke/Raven interaction. Lots of plans and plots floating around. We'll see which ones stick. :D (I really like writing interactions with Raven!)
> 
> Also, Pike is quite odious, as the Trikru scout confirms.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, everybody! And Friday the 21st may be a no-post day, as I'm on the road again (no writing time) and traveling all that day. So at this point, I probably won't post on the 21st. If that changes, well, I'll Tweet it and just post.
> 
> And, as I mentioned to a previous commenter, music is a huge part of my writing process, so that's why I include this part. Skip it if you're not into it. :) A couple of songs that helped with this chapter: Shake Shake Go, "Nothing Better" (Daze Remix); Ames, "Harder"


	40. Loyalties Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has a chat with Jos about Azgeda, and who might be loyal to whom. Then Clarke contacts Kane on the radio.

“How many among _Azgeda_ would support a challenge of Nia from Roan?” Lexa studied Jos’s body language, gauging her response.

“Most, but only a third would voice it aloud.” She threw a quick glance toward Titus, who stood, unmoving, just behind Lexa’s chair at the table in the meeting room. Lexa knew his presence could be unnerving, and she appreciated it, because it kept people off guard.

“What might cause more to speak up?”

She thought for a moment. “Right now, Roan has no presence in _Azgeda_ because Nia sent him away.” She dropped her gaze momentarily. “And you did not override the banishment.”

Lexa sat back, thinking. Nia’s banishment hadn’t been official, but Jos was right. She hadn’t challenged Nia on it, either, though Roan had approached her after it happened in an attempt to be reinstated somehow in _Azgeda_. She hadn’t felt the time was quite right, then, but circumstances had changed.

“Continue,” Lexa said, and Jos relaxed.

“Nia was unpopular then, but she is even more unpopular now. Roan has supporters among the warriors of _Azgeda_ , but Nia has had a few executed because they made their views known.”

Lexa leaned forward. “Executed? For a mere opinion?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. After that, not many were willing to challenge her.”

“Was Roan already gone when she started doing this?”

“ _Sha_.”

He had said nothing to her about it when he asked her to lift the banishment, so he may not have known what Nia was doing. “Tell me of those who remain loyal to her.”

“Those who are closest to her are those she considers loyal, but I suspect that some have no choice while those who do, use her as a way to curry favor and gain power in their own right.”

Which would never happen, because Nia was not one to give or share power willingly. She maintained authority through a combination of machination, brutality, and false promises.

“I cannot make this guarantee, _Heda_ , but it seems to me if Roan were to return to _Azgeda_ now, he would have enough support to challenge Nia.”

She raised an eyebrow, mildly surprised at Jos’s boldness. “How so?”

“Nia has sent dozens of warriors into the forests around Polis and Arkadia. If Calla got the message to her that we planted, Nia would most likely be sending more warriors out, leaving _Azgeda_ in the hands of a few loyalists who might be easily overcome by an organized force.”

Lexa said nothing for a while. The information on the parchment was completely false, and Titus had made it seem as if Polis didn’t have the manpower to launch an attack on _Azgeda_. He also made it seem that there was resistance from other clans to aid Arkadia, which wasn’t true. Nia would be under the wrong impression that Lexa had sent only a few forces to Arkadia, so if she attempted to attack there, Lexa was certain Indra could hold her off until other clans came to her assistance.

“How long have you been part of this resistance in _Azgeda_?” she asked, and Jos’s eyes widened.

“A while, _Heda_ ,” she said, and Lexa sensed the truth in her words. _“_ I have no love for Nia, and always felt Roan would be a better leader.”

“You served Nia only to protect your children.”

“ _Sha_. I had no choice.”

“Nia didn’t give you one,” Lexa said. “There is no shame in protecting your children.”

Jos stared at the table for a long moment. “I was barely seventeen summers when Nia first challenged you.”

Lexa tensed, though she didn’t reveal it.

“My family has served _Azgeda_ honorably for many years, and when Nia came to power, my mother had me placed within her household. It was the way of things, with our family. I learned quickly that Nia was not a leader to be trusted, no matter the strength she may or may not show.” She lifted her gaze back to Lexa. “I remember the day Nia brought _Costia kom Trikru_ to _Azgeda_.”

Lexa’s chest went cold, but she gave no sign.

“Nia said that you were plotting an attack, and that _Costia kom Azgeda_ was a spy. Few believed it, and there was no honor in what Nia did.”

Every muscle in Lexa’s body seemed to ache with tension, but she managed to keep her expression impassive.

“It was that moment that I started questioning what Nia said about you.”

Titus shifted behind Lexa, but said nothing.

“And you kept doing things that defied what Nia said, and any time I met someone from _Trikru_ , I questioned Nia even more, because I couldn’t understand how it was that people could be so loyal to you, given what she said. And even those who questioned you had no fear of saying such things in public, something Nia would never allow. I didn’t know what to believe.” She stopped and met Lexa’s gaze, unwavering. “And then Nia sent me here, and I realized I had been very wrong about you, _Heda_. But I was trapped.” She bowed her head. “I did not mean for another to bear my burdens.”

She was referring to Landis, Lexa knew. “All who serve in my guard know the price for treason, _Jos kom Azgeda_. He made his own choices, and the responsibility is his.”

“Why, then, am I still alive?”

“You were not loyal to me and you were not serving in my guard.” Lexa sat forward and gazed intently at her. “You thus did not betray me.” Her implication was clear. Jos may not have betrayed Lexa, but she had betrayed Nia, by agreeing to work with _Trikru_. However, Lexa understood the value of giving people choices, and coming to their own conclusions about the merits of those choices. Even things as simple as that could have political capital.

“I have reconsidered that as well, _Heda_.”

“Oh?” She sat back, relaxed, which seemed to help put Jos more at ease.

“You have been fair, and you have done what you said.”

Lexa waited in the silence, and Jos once again looked up at her.

“You have my loyalty, _Heda_.” From her expression, she understood the expectations that service to the Commander required.

“Accepted.”

Jos visibly relaxed and her eyes lit up with what Lexa recognized as hope.

“Tell me why Nia chose you to serve as ambassador.”

“I had been in her household for years, and my family has a long tradition of service to those who lead _Azgeda_.” She paused. “Just before the first _Skaikru_ came to the ground— _Wanheda_ ’s people—I started meeting with a group in _Azgeda_ that supported Roan. I at first thought Nia had discovered this when she forced me to serve as ambassador, but she made no mention of it, and instead used the lives of my children to ensure my service.”

“You are certain she did not know about your support for Roan?”

“Yes. She would have had me and my children killed if she did.”

Lexa studied her for a few moments. “But Nia did not believe she had your loyalty? In spite of the history your family has with her?”

“Nia trusts no one, and uses whatever means she can to secure service. She had no reason to think that I was not, even after I had seen the kind of leader she is, and shifted my loyalty to my children and my family. She has lost sight of her people, and instead focuses on power.”

An accurate assessment, Lexa thought.

Jos leaned forward, emphatic. “If _Roan kom Azgeda_ were to return and challenge Nia, I would support him, and I would encourage others to do the same.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Jos kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said. “I may require your services again.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She bowed her head and stood. Titus moved silently to the door and opened it so that Jos could leave, in the company of at least two guards, Lexa knew. He closed the door when she did and turned to Lexa.

“She speaks truth,” he said.

Lexa stood. “You are certain that Calla delivered the parchment?”

“ _Sha_. The scout brought the coded response from one of our allies in _Azgeda_.”

He meant spies, but Lexa didn’t ask which one. “When?”

“It would seem the message arrived soon before Nia left, but at the time, our allies hadn’t gotten word of such.”

“What of Calla?”

“Still in _Azgeda_ , at least as of this morning.”

“ _Trishana_ has provided warriors to Indra. Nia does not know that the clans are formally against her. We must keep it that way.”

He nodded and Lexa turned and went onto the balcony, bathed in evening light. Only a day since Clarke had left, and Lexa half-expected her to be in her quarters. She’d gotten used to having her near, had started craving it, and now that she wasn’t, it was an ache she couldn’t suppress. Titus joined her. She had known he would.

“What of _Maun-de_?” he asked, hands clasped behind his back.

“Clarke will let me know.”

“You trust her to do this?”

“I believe we have had this discussion already, Titus,” Lexa said, a warning in her tone.

“ _Heda_ , it is a bit…unorthodox, this approach you take with her and _Skaikru_. They are outsiders.”

“No longer.” Lexa stared into the distance, hands gripping the railing. “They are _kongeda_.”

“They are not of the ground.”

“Their ancestors were.” She turned toward him. “Becca came from the sky to the ground. Does that not make her _Skaikru_? The legends say such, and in every legend is an element of truth.”

He remained stoic, but she saw the slight tightening of his jaw.

“You cannot ignore parts of the past for your own use,” she continued. “We are bound to _Skaikru_ now, and probably always were. The _kongeda_ simply makes it public.”

“We cannot trust all of them.”

“We cannot trust all among our own people, either.”

“They will occupy the mountain, just as the _Maunon_.”

“Clarke will not allow it.”

Titus bristled. “She is not the Chancellor. She cannot make that decision for _Skaikru_.”

Lexa frowned and he immediately calmed. “She has never been Chancellor,” she said. “And yet she leads among _Skaikru_. She will not allow occupation of the mountain.”

“I fear that your emotions are a factor with regard to Clarke,” he said quietly.

She turned the full force of her gaze on him. “My emotions are always a factor. What sort of Commander would I be, if I had no heart, no sympathy or empathy? I make decisions based on what is best for the clans, and for my people. These are decisions that always involve emotions, and not all emotions are weakness.”

He stared at her, and she could see that he had no response.

She gave him a wry smile, to blunt her words. “Of all the Commanders you have honorably served, no doubt I am not one you expected.”

His expression softened. “I suppose I should have, watching you in the Conclave. You were always different. You seemed to see things in people that others did not, and you had an understanding of things much beyond your years. I confess, _Heda_ , I have always known that you have very different perspectives, but I suppose I refuse to acknowledge it at times.”

“I need and appreciate your wisdom and experience. But those don’t always provide the best solutions. What we face now we have not faced in the past, and though we can draw from the past, we cannot assume it will provide all the correct answers.” She looked out over the city again. “What we do now will provide guidance to the next Commander, whether it succeeds or fails. I do not wish to fail. So I will do what I can to succeed.” She turned back to him. “Trust that I am doing that, and trust also that I will consult with you should I require advice or guidance. I am not so arrogant as to presume I don’t need such.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He stood with her, and the shadows lengthened on the balcony.

“Perhaps it is time for another conversation with Gonin,” she said after a while. “He may have more information that he will readily remember now.”

“What of Roan?”

“What of him? If he wishes to come to Polis, he will.”

“There may be a chance he could offer a legitimate challenge to Nia.”

“If his heart is in it.” She was skeptical, since he had been banished months ago and had seemingly accepted it.

“Perhaps he has been busy, in the time since he left _Azgeda_ ,” Titus said.

“A thought that had occurred to me, as well, but the allies we have in _Azgeda_ have said nothing to indicate that he has been in contact with anyone there.”

“Perhaps he is better at such than we think.”

She didn’t reply. It was possible, of course, that he had managed to work with a resistance without her spies knowing about it. If that were the case, she was impressed. But regardless of what Jos said, she still didn’t have much idea as to the extent of a resistance. What she did know was that _Azgeda_ had a flank open with Nia somewhere near the mountain, but she would rather discuss that with Roan than send _Trikru_ warriors to exploit the weakness. Hopefully, he would decide to come to Polis. She heard the door to the corridor open and she left the balcony.

“ _Heda_ ,” said the guard who entered. “ _Markus kom Skaikru_ has requested you join him in his quarters. There is a message from Arkadia.”

She nodded at him and swept from the room to the stairwell. Three guards accompanied her up the few flights, and they struggled to keep up with her when she burst into the corridor and strode to Kane’s quarters. He was standing in the doorway, clearly waiting for her, urgency on his features, the radio in his hand.

“ _Heda_ , it’s Clarke,” he said and Lexa’s heart pounded harder. She followed him inside while the guards remained outside.

“Okay,” he said. “Go ahead.”

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice emanated from the radio and Lexa fought a smile. She heard so many things in her voice. Hope. Relief. Worry. Kane held the radio close to her.

“I’m here,” she said, keeping what she felt out of her voice.

“Emerson sent his demands today. He used one of the _natrona_.”

“Who?” Kane asked.

“Jax Turner, from Farm Station.”

“Figures. He idolizes Sanders. What were the demands?” Kane asked.

“Me, allegedly in exchange for the hostages.”

Lexa’s entire body went cold.

Kane frowned. “Explain.”

“If I don’t get to the mountain within five days from this morning, he’ll fire a missile on Arkadia and one on Polis.”

Kane’s eyes widened and he said something under this breath. Lexa had expected this from Emerson. She thought of Tondc and what one of the mountain’s missiles could do to a more populated area.

“The reality is,” Clarke said, “even if I go, Emerson won’t release andybody and he’ll fire anyway.”

“You can’t be serious.” Kane ran his free hand through his hair.

“Clarke speaks true,” Lexa said. “He blames Clarke for the loss of his people, and he will want her to see him destroy hers.”

He stared at her, horror on his features.

“Kane,” came Clarke’s voice again. “Raven is sending a couple more batteries with one of Indra’s scouts. They should arrive tomorrow.”

“That’s great, but what the hell are you doing about the demands? And why does Emerson want to bomb Polis?”

“Nia probably requested it,” Clarke said. “Plus, Lexa isn’t one of Emerson’s favorite people. Depending how many missiles he has, he’ll most likely fire on Polis first, then on Arkadia. If he just has one, he’ll save it for Arkadia.”

“What about the hostages, then?” he asked.

“He’ll probably kill them, making sure I watch. Chances are, he’ll keep me alive and then let me go, to live with the knowledge that there’s no one left for me.” Her tone was flat, and Lexa ached to hold her, to tell her she would face whatever she decided to do with her.

“He’s that much of a sick bastard?” Kane said.

“Easily,” Clarke said. There was a long moment of silence and then she spoke again. “Lexa, I spoke with the _Trikru_ survivor of Pike’s recent attack. _Annan kom Trikru_. She is healing well. I told her I would let you know.”

“ _Mochof_. She is a good warrior. What happened?”

Clarke told her, quickly, then said, “The Chancellor addressed Arkadia today. I convinced her just to mention the demands, but not to say anything about the alliance with Lexa, and not to say anything about me.”

That was wise. Lexa nodded in appreciation.

“Then there was a council meeting. I’m in disguise of a sort, but it’s not a good idea for me to be seen here, because Pike and Sanders probably have supporters. Bellamy and Lincoln went. They said that right now, there are several people who are demanding that we find me and send me to the mountain to prevent the missiles. They said that my mom told them that Emerson’s going to fire anyway, but there are skeptics.”

“And the council?” Kane turned the volume up a little.

“They want to send a message to the mountain and tell Emerson that they don’t know where I am. They’re going to try to get more time, but I think it’s not a good idea to send anybody to the mountain openly like that. I told the Chancellor not to do that and she actually agrees with me.”

“I, too, agree with Clarke,” Lexa said. “Let the _natrona_ think that you are planning to abide by their wishes.”

“The Chancellor can probably stall them a while, as she’s going to pretend to look for me in the next couple of days.”

“And then what?” Frustration marked Kane’s tone.

“In order to make sure that Emerson doesn’t fire, we have to put him out of commission. He most likely won’t give the codes to any of the others, so we’re going to try two things. One, we’re going to get to Emerson and two, we’re going to find a way to blow up the missiles.”

Kane sat in silence, clearly shocked. “You’re going back to the mountain.”

Lexa had known this would happen, but she still clenched her hands into fists and wished she was already on her way to the mountain to make sure that Clarke and _Skaikru_ succeeded.

“There’s no other way,” Clarke said. “Lexa?”

“Yes.” Her heart ached.

“I don’t know for sure if we can stop this before Emerson fires the missiles. I think you need to ensure the safety of Polis.”

Lexa frowned. Clarke was right, of course, but there might be those among them who were allies of Nia and were observing Polis. An evacuation would garner attention. Still, there might be measures she could take.

“We’re also going to need more forces here. One of Indra’s scouts has discovered Nia’s encampment about a mile from the mountain. She brought a force of about two hundred, and there are dozens in the woods around Arkadia, but they’re staying outside the perimeter, for the most part.”

“They await a signal,” Lexa said.

“For what?”

She looked at Kane. “To attack. Most likely when Emerson fires the missiles.”

“Bellamy has extra security measures in place,” Clarke said, in case they decide to do it earlier.”

Lexa approved of that, as well. “I will bring more warriors,” she said, “but first I must meet with the council.”

“So what exactly is your plan?” Kane asked Clarke.

“We’re going to send a decoy toward the mountain day after tomorrow while another group will go in through the tunnels.”

“Decoy?” Kane’s tone was even more frustrated.

“Someone who looks like me. Hopefully, that’ll keep their attention while we get somebody into the mountain.”

“What if they’ve got the tunnels sealed?”

“They don’t,” Clarke said. “Indra’s scouts say they’re using them. We’ll go in, plant some explosives to draw attention, and then we’ll find the missile silo access and blow up whatever’s in there while another group goes to find Emerson.”

“This is crazy.” Kane stood up. “Emerson won’t make the same mistakes that were made the first time you were there.”

“He’s assuming I’m going to give myself up in the hopes that it will save a bunch of people. He knows that’s what I tend to do. He also thinks that I’m not at Arkadia right now, but he’s probably counting on the fact that my mom knows where I am and is sending word. She’s already sent out a couple of scouts in random directions, to make him think she’s trying to get word to me—” static interrupted her.

“Clarke? Say again.” Kane moved toward the balcony.

“Lexa?” she said.

“Yes.”

“Tam should be back in Polis tomorrow—most likely late tomorrow night—with messages from me and Indra.”

“ _Os_.”

“If I can, I’ll check in with Kane to give him a more detailed time frame. I don’t want to run the batteries anymore. Kane, watch for the extras Raven is sending.”

“I will.”

“Okay. And Lexa? We’re going to need help.”

“ _Sha_. _Osir na sis yo au. Nou get yu daun_.” 1 She refrained from saying anything more, since others might be listening.

“ _Mochof_. _Leida_ ,” she said, the relief and warmth palpable in her tone. The radio went dead and the room felt empty without Clarke’s voice. Lexa looked at Kane, who was staring at the floor, still holding the radio.

“Clarke is right,” she said. “This man Emerson seeks to make her suffer what he has suffered. He will not release the hostages and he will destroy Arkadia whether she is in the mountain or not. He would prefer that she is there, because he wants to watch her suffer, but he will do it anyway, because he knows it will cause her great pain.”

“What about Sanders and Pike? Surely they don’t think he’ll do it.”

She clasped her hands behind her back. “Perhaps not. Emerson may kill them, too, since they are also _Skaikru_. He seeks to make Clarke the last of her people.”

“Is it possible that Emerson has made these demands without telling either Sanders or Pike?”

Lexa considered that. “Perhaps he told them one thing, and sent a message to Arkadia with something else.” She paused. “Most likely, he has told them he is bluffing, because he knows the threat will bring Clarke to him. Pike and Sanders have no history with him, so they may accept what he tells them.”

Kane set the radio on the table. “Why would Sanders or Pike believe Emerson? He’s the man with the codes, so clearly he has something they need. But what do they have that he wants?”

“Emerson needs them if he plans to stay in the mountain.”

“But if he kills them…” Kane frowned. “Nia used him to access the mountain. What does she have that he wants? This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Nia could have killed Emerson when she brought him into _Azgeda_. He arrived in a bad condition, but he may have told her his story, and that he was seeking _Wanheda_ and if she helped him, he would help her become Commander.”

“That’s a lot of trust among a bunch of untrustworthy people.”

Lexa made a noncommittal noise. People hungry for power would pay virtually any price, and make virtually any deal.

“So Nia does what? Tells him that some members of Sky Crew are already occupying the mountain? He’s only one, so what can he offer to go back to the mountain?” Kane looked at Lexa then answered his own question. “The codes. He sends one—the door—to prove he is who he says and asks for a deal. Pike and Sanders agree, because after all, Emerson has all the codes to effectively run and defend Mt. Weather. But he needs Pike and Sanders, too, to help him get the mountain back in working order. And he figures he’ll also be able to control Nia, even if she became Commander. As long as he has missiles, he can get whatever he wants.”

She considered his words. He was probably right, but people like Emerson could be unpredictable, driven as they were by rage and revenge. Pike was driven by rage and contempt, and Lexa could see him easily turning on Nia, with Sanders’ support. Nia played a dangerous game, with these men. Had she brought all those warriors to the mountain as a show of force, to remind Emerson and the others that she, too, was a power to consider? Because no doubt there were guns in the mountain, and bullets.

“Come with me,” she said. “We have much to discuss, and some plans of our own to make.” She moved into the corridor, Kane hurrying to grab the radio and join her.

  
1 _Osir sis yo au. Nou get yu daun_ : We (excludes the listener) will help you. Don’t worry. (You’ve seen these before. Heh.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, yeah! Lexa in the middle of moar political intrigue! She's trying to determine what's up in Azgeda and whether Roan might actually have a viable following. Because that can no doubt be used against Nia in many different ways...hmmm.
> 
> And a call on the radio from Clarke clues Lexa and Kane into the demands and Lexa now has a clearer idea about how to proceed on her end. And she throws in a little reassurance at the end of that convo and omg I can't wait for the next Clexa moment. But first, we have to save the world n' shit. It's always something.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos! It means a lot, y'all. As a heads up, I may not be able to post on the 21st. I'll Tweet that I'm not, but if I do post, hell, I'll just do it.
> 
> Songs that Lexa wanted me to write this chapter to: FRENSHIP, "Nowhere"; Glades, "Speechless"


	41. Plans in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gina agrees to be a decoy. Meanwhile, in Polis, Lexa and the council get a visitor with an intriguing offer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bellamy glanced from Clarke to Gina, a scowl adding emphasis to his words. Clarke knew Bellamy’s scowls. This one meant he wanted to be more in control of the situation and set himself up as a protector.

“It’s easier to lighten my hair than Octavia’s,” Gina said. “Plus, who else could you get to do this? Nobody else knows Clarke is here and you need Octavia at the mountain.”

He scowled even more.

“I’m not a fan of this, either,” Raven said from where she sat at Octavia’s table.“Believe me. But she has a point.”

Gina shot Raven a look that Clarke couldn’t read.

“You don’t have to do it,” Clarke said. “We’ll come up with something else.” She wasn’t sure what, but they would have to. It was the day after the demands had arrived, and they needed to move quickly.

“And that would be what, exactly?” Gina’s tone was wry. “It’s not like we have much time. Besides, I’ll be in the company of _Trikru_ warriors, which will help, and Indra will be keeping an eye on things the whole time. So will Mora. And from what you’ve said, she’s more than competent. All we have to do is make them think that Clarke appears to be on her way.”

“What if they send somebody out of the mountain to intercept you?” Bellamy crossed his arms, gaze on Gina.

“It’s a chance we’ll have to take.”

“I’ll go with you,” he said.

Clarke shook her head. “We need you in the mountain.”

“She’s right.” Octavia moved so that she was standing next to him. “You probably know the mountain the best of all of us. If we’re going to pull this off, that’s where you need to be.”

He laced his fingers on top of his head and let out an exasperated sigh as he stared at the ceiling. Octavia shot Clarke a knowing look and Clarke gave her a tiny shrug.

“She can do this,” Clarke said to him. “Trust her.”

He nodded, but his expression was still dubious and worried.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t think I could do it,” Gina said.

“It’s dangerous.” Bellamy crossed his arms again.

“Every day on the ground is dangerous,” Raven said and they all looked at her. “Everybody here survived the ride down in one way or another and has been surviving ever since. I’m pretty sure Gina can handle this. Not that I’m happy about it. I mentioned that, right?”

He shook his head, but his expression said that he was relenting. “So what’s the plan for the mountain? We’re probably going to need more help.”

“Wash is coming,” Clarke said. “And Indra will provide warriors. We’ll go in through the tunnels on the far side.”

“We need to get there first.” He scowled again. This one meant he was thinking something through. “And we need to not be seen.”

“Wick and I did it when we went to blow up the turbines. If you keep to the base of the mountain, the cameras can’t pick you up. The angle’s too steep.”

“We’ll approach from the drop ship,” Octavia said. “But we’ll cross the river farther upstream. It’ll probably take a little longer, but we can do it.”

“Is it worth it to try to jam the silo doors from the outside?” Bellamy asked.

Raven shook her head. “Probably not. But it might be fun to put a mine on it that could explode when it opens. There’s a chance that could cause debris to fall into the launch chute, and it’s possible to throw off its path, if they manage to launch.”

“Might as well,” Octavia said. “Every possibility to give us an advantage.”

“What did Lexa say earlier, when you contacted Kane?” Bellamy sat on the edge of the table.

“I told her that Nia has a couple hundred warriors encamped with her near the mountain and we were going to need more forces. She said she would bring them, but she has to meet with the council. She might be able to get other clans involved, too.”

“Which would piss Nia off,” Octavia said, “if she saw that there was a unified force against her and the mountain.”

Clarke nodded. “Lexa knows the value of appearances.”

“So when can we expect this backup?” Bellamy asked.

“Probably within the next couple of days, depending on how Lexa mobilizes,” Octavia said. “She might just move some of Indra’s forces, which means she doesn’t have to bring a bunch from Polis.” She glanced at Clarke.

“She knows how serious this is, and she’s probably making preparations now.” Again, Clarke saw Lexa kneeling, heard the words she said to her, and the memory eased the worst of her anxiety. As long as she didn’t think too hard about what had happened mere months ago at the mountain, and she focused on Lexa and her friends in the here and now, she could do this.

“All right.” Bellamy relaxed a little. “Get your things ready to go. We should probably leave before dawn. Make sure you get some rest.” He looked at Gina. “Be careful.”

“You, too.”

Octavia let him out and Raven stood. “I’ve got some prep to do,” she said, and Octavia let her out, too.

“I’m probably going to need a little help with my hair.” Gina picked up the tin of dye and motioned at the bathroom.

Clarke nodded and followed her, but stood in the doorway to give her some room. Gina undid the tie in her hair and shook it out. Fortunately for this plan, it had a curl in it like Clarke’s did, so it wouldn’t be lying flat and would probably be convincing from a distance.

“I think the length is okay,” Gina said, as she brushed it. “It might be a little difficult to lighten, though.”

Clarke studied the color, maybe a shade darker than chestnuts. “Possibly. But you’re not supposed to get too close to the people in the mountain, so you don’t have to make it perfect.”

“True. All right, let’s do this.” She wrapped a cloth around her neck and shoulders and carefully pulled on the pair of thick rubber gloves she had used with Clarke’s hair.

“I meant to ask you where you got those,” Clarke said as she carefully opened the tin and held it for her.

“Lucky salvage. Raven found a mech tool box and they were in there. And just so you know, I rarely do this kind of stuff. I’m just good with creating colors out of a variety of things. Mostly paints, but with a few alterations, we have hair disguise.”

“Do you paint?”

“A little. But we also need paint for other things. Like signs and labels. I like experimenting with color, too.” She looked at Clarke. “I heard you’re quite the artist.”

“I draw and paint,” she said dismissively.

“Well, let me know if you need supplies. I’ll see what I can do.” She dabbed her fingers into the tin and started working the dye through her hair. “I think I have the color pretty close.” It smelled like pine and some kind of solvent.

“We’ll find out,” Clarke said as she watched her work the gel through her hair, bit by bit. “You’re really okay with this?” she asked quietly.

Gina flashed her a smile. “I wouldn’t be doing it if I wasn’t. The reality is, all of us are in danger because of the mountain. I’ve only heard a little of what you went through—your delinquents are pretty tight-lipped about it and say it’s your story to tell if you want—but from what I know, this is a bad situation.” She checked the mirror. “You wouldn’t be here otherwise. Besides—” she took another glob of gel out of the tin, “ this is my home now, and I’m not going to let a bunch of assholes at the mountain, as Raven calls them, mess that up.”

Clarke heard a note of affection in her voice when she mentioned Raven, and she was glad that Gina hadn’t let Raven drive her away.

“Bellamy trusts you,” Gina said after a few moments. “And for all his bluster, I trust him. So by proxy, I’m an ally.” She smiled, and it lit up her eyes and softened her features even more.

Clarke watched her for a while. She worked quickly and soon, she finished and then added a bit more to a few different spots.

“I’m not going to worry too much about making sure every strand is coated, but it’s probably a good idea not to leave obvious dark spots.” After a few more minutes she took the gloves off and placed them in the small sink, where she rinsed them. “Okay. We’ll see what we’ve got in a little while.”

Clarke nodded and went to get her pack ready. She’d done a copy of the map of the interior of Mt. Weather for Lexa that would go to Polis with one of Indra’s scouts. The pencil she’d managed to scrounge to do it was at the bottom of her pack and she took it out along with the map. She had labeled it in English and with symbols that she hoped came close to representing what the level in the mountain did, and that Lexa would understand, if she didn’t read English. It hadn’t occurred to her to ask, but she assumed that the training in the Conclave ensured a knowledge of written English, as well.

She checked to make sure that the piece of cloth on which she’d painted was there, as well. That was meant only for Lexa’s eyes, and she had to make sure that Tam understood that, without reading too much into her insistence.

“Did we miss anything?” she asked Octavia as she unrolled the map on the table. She moved so Octavia could have a look. Gina joined them.

“Is this based on the one you got in the mountain?”

“Yeah.”

“Should be fine, though they may have repurposed some of these rooms. The tunnels should still be open, since nobody’s heard any explosions or anything that would sound like they were trying to collapse some of them.”

“ _Trikru_ scouts say they’ve seen some of Sanders’ people and some _Azgeda_ using them.”

“Indra has seen it, too.” Octavia pointed at the map. “We just have to figure out which tunnels will give us the best access to Emerson.”

“Best guess? He’ll be in the lower levels, where the control room is,” Clarke said.

“Or not. He might be doing other things. If we can get Bellamy in, he can find him and stay hidden. He’s done it before.” Octavia looked at her. “We can’t let them know we’re anywhere near the mountain, because Emerson might fire if he figures it out.”

“I thought about that. But I think he’d still want to make sure that he could see my reaction, so he’ll most likely fire on Polis first in that case.” She tried to keep emotion out of her voice, but from Octavia’s expression, it didn’t work. Her stomach hurt to think about a missile hitting Polis.

“So we don’t get caught,” she said. “Simple as that.” She shot her a quick grin. “We’ve been in positions like this before. Hopefully, they’ll underestimate us and get sloppy. Bellamy says that Sanders isn’t the best Guard. He misses some things with security that should be really obvious. He’s cocky, and that can work against him.”

Clarke rolled the map up. “What about Pike?”

“He’s a problem,” Gina said.

They both looked at her.

“He’s very smart, and has a way about him that seems to attract people. He’s also versed in Earth skills. Physically, he’s strong and emotionally—he doesn’t care about the ramifications of his decisions and he justifies them through self-righteousness.” She stopped. “Sorry. That sounded shitty, didn’t it?”

“Is it true?” Clarke asked.

“Based on my experiences on Farm Station, yes. He taught Earth skills and I was in one of his classes. Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye.” The look of distaste on her face emphasized her statements.

Clarke glanced at Octavia then back at Gina. “Is he violent?”

“Randomly? No. He’ll generally have a plan for violence, no matter how brutal, and he’ll justify it somehow.”

“Like the attack on the patrol,” Octavia said.

“Yes.”

“So chances are, Pike is probably helping with security at the mountain.” Clarke put the map back in her pack. “And he’ll be more careful than Sanders.” It was probably best to avoid Pike in the mountain and just find Emerson as soon as possible and disable the weapons system. Most likely, Emerson had a backup plan, and had programmed some kind of code in that would launch the missiles in event something happened to him. Clarke wished there was a way to contact the hostages in the mountain. They really needed Monty’s computer skills.

“Maybe we can find a way in to the silo access without having to go through the mountain,” Octavia said. “We can plant the explosives. With the silo and missiles out of commission, Emerson can’t do what he wants.”

“We still have to get them out of the mountain.” Clarke glanced from Gina to her. “Because we have to make sure nobody uses the mountain again.”

She nodded. “Bel isn’t happy about that.”

“Doesn’t matter. If we want to ensure that we’re on good terms with the _kongeda_ , we shut down the mountain for good.”

“No argument from me.” She looked at Gina. “Looking good,” she said. “I think that color will work to fool people.”

Gina smiled. “From a distance or close up?”

“Probably both, especially if you’re dealing with people who haven’t seen Clarke up close.”

“I agree,” Clarke said. Gina’s hair had lightened considerably and was almost the same shade of blond as hers.

Octavia went to her footlocker and pulled out a battered Guard helmet and an equally battered Guard jacket. “They’re expecting you at Raven’s lab. Bellamy and Lincoln are supposed to be there with Wash and Miller. They’ll get you out of Arkadia tonight. Indra’s standing by at a rendezvous point. We’ll be leaving for the mountain before dawn, after you leave. Barring complications.” She looked at Clarke. “You’d better tell Kane.”

“I was planning on it.”

“Go with Gina, then. It might be best if you just hang out in Raven’s lab with her tonight. She sleeps there more nights than in her quarters, and she’s got a couple of cots.”

Clarke started to say something about that but Gina interrupted, with a glance at her.

“I know. It’s not entirely healthy that she does that. I’m working on it.” She put on the jacket and helmet and tucked her hair up into the latter.

Octavia shrugged. “She feels safe there.”

“She’s avoiding things,” Gina shot back.

Clarke watched the exchange and decided it was probably a good thing that Gina was looking out for Raven.

“If she wants your help, she’ll ask for it,” Octavia said.

“No, actually. She won’t.” Gina gave her a look. “That’s the problem. Anyway. A discussion for another time. You ready?” she said to Clarke.

“Yeah.” Clarke grabbed her pack. “See you in a bit,” she said to Octavia, who opened the door for them.

Octavia nodded and Clarke followed Gina into the hallway beyond and to the exit.

###

Lexa studied the man who kneeled before her. His hair, slightly darker than hers, was pulled back and tied behind his head and he kept his beard and moustache trimmed. The afternoon light filtered through the windows behind her, glancing off his face. The scars of _Azgeda_ marked his face, a moon-shaped crescent on the right side, one end curving over his eyebrow, and a thickened X near his left.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, “for granting me an audience.”

She gave him a nod and he stood, broad-shouldered and lean, dressed in loose trousers and shirt, and a heavy cloak. But in his eyes was something Nia had always lacked, and Lexa saw it. Roan might have Nia’s blood in him, but he had the spirit of his father, who had ruled with a strong but compassionate hand. Her warriors closest to him watched, hands on the hilts of their swords and knives. She calmed them with a hand gesture. “ _Hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ _gaf chich ai_.” 1

Her warriors relaxed.

“Tell me, _Roan kom Azgeda_ , what you wish from me and the council.” It was a formality, really, since he had requested entry into the city and she had granted it. A group of her warriors had brought him and his two scouts in, hooded, so as not to raise suspicions should any _Azgeda_ in the city notice that the outcast prince was in Polis.

“I come with news of Nia. She camps two miles southeast of _Maun-de_ , with two hundred warriors. My scouts report that she has gone into _Maun-de_ at least twice in the past three days. She is met at a tunnel entrance by a man who appears as _Skaikru_.

“Describe this man,” Lexa said, with a glance at Kane, who stood near the front of the gathered clan council representatives.

He did and Lexa pursed her lips. “Not _Skaikru_ ,”she said. “Emerson. The last of the _Maunon_.”

Surprise showed in Roan’s eyes. “One survived?”

“ _Sha_. He escaped when _Wanheda_ was in the mountain freeing her people and, by extension, us from the _Maunon_.”

“Where did he go after that?”

Lexa looked at him dispassionately. “ _Azgeda_. Nia helped him.”

He lowered his gaze. “ _Heda_ , I was not aware.”

Danyel frowned, but said nothing.

“No doubt you know there are _natrona_ from _Skaikru_ within the mountain,” Lexa said, “and they seem to be working with Emerson. He is able to use the tech in the mountain, and has threatened to send missiles to Polis and Arkadia.”

Several among those gathered looked at Roan, tense.

“I did know about this new occupation of the mountain. I assumed my mother would be interested in finding a way to challenge you, but I was not certain how.”

“Nia would find it much easier to challenge me if the same fate that met Tondc meets Polis,” she said, with no indication of how she might feel about it.

From his expression, he had not been aware of the threat to Polis. “My mother makes deals with _splita_ and _natrona_ ,” he said, “because she has lost sight of what is important among her people. I do not stand by her decisions.”

Titus shifted next to the Commander’s chair, but said nothing.

“My mother would have the spirit of the Commander pass to Ontari,” Roan said.

“I have heard this rumor.”

“It is something I have long suspected, since she began training her. She does not openly state her intentions, but it is an open secret in _Azgeda_.”

The closest warriors looked at each other then at Roan and moved a little closer, their leather and metal creaking and clicking. Ferris crossed his arms and Danyel frowned again.

“The spirit may not choose her,” Lexa said.

“I would hope not,” Roan said. “She is not worthy of it. Neither is my mother.” From his tone and expression, he spoke the truth. Ferris visibly relaxed.

“It is in the spirit of reconciliation that I approach you today,” Roan said. “I am well aware that whatever my mother does at the mountain, it most likely is nothing good. I come, thus, with an offer.” He placed his hands on his belt and her warriors again placed their hands on the hilts of their weapons.

“ _Chil yo daun_ ,”2 she ordered, and on one accord, they stopped. She had allowed Roan to enter the chamber with his knife on his belt, a sign of trust, and she knew he was well aware that it was not an oversight on her part.

“Very well, _Roan kom Azgeda_. Present your offer,” she said.

He nodded in acknowledgement. “ _Heda_ , I have received word from _Azgeda_ that many are not happy with the way Nia has been leading. They wish to join the _kongeda_ , but such is not possible as long as she continues her quest for power against you.”

“And?”

“These are people who have always questioned her leadership and have remained loyal to me. She has tried to silence them, but it only causes them to work harder against her.”

She thought of Jos’s words. Perhaps there was more of a resistance afoot than she had suspected. “How many?”

“At least three hundred in _Azgeda_. And rest assured that while Nia is at the mountain, I have sent warriors to _Azgeda_. They sow discontent among those who remain. So should she return, she will not find it as welcoming as she might hope.”

That was impressive. “How many accompany you in the forest?”

“A hundred more, though we’re spread out, so as not to attract attention. But there are also those who are loyal to me among the warriors Nia took to _Maun-de_.”

Lexa regarded him for a long moment. This could be something she could exploit. He had nothing to lose by lying, but he had everything to gain by not. “Enough to overcome her encampment?”

“There are probably thirty there now who are part of the resistance that has been building in support of me. Others are tired of her constant warring, especially when they see that the other clans are able to enjoy some prosperity without the call to battle. They may not be fully supportive of me, but they won’t fight too hard for her, either.”

If he had enough support in _Azgeda_ , Nia could be permanently marginalized from her clan and if Roan had the backing of his people and the _kongeda_ to lead _Azgeda_ , he would have the power to banish her. She considered this scenario. Besides Ontari and possibly a small cadre of advisors, Nia might not have true loyalists by her side. “Are you able to send messages to those who support you among her ranks?”

“ _Sha_. I have remained in contact with them for the past few weeks, moreso since Nia left _Azgeda_. It is my contacts at her encampment who informed me that she had been going into _Maun-de_.”

“No doubt you understand that Nia has made a deal with Emerson,” she said. “She helped restore him to health in exchange for his help with challenging me. That is part of why Emerson seeks to destroy Polis.”

“Will he do it?”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said, as if speaking about nothing more pressing than an evening meal. “ _Osir souda hod emo op_.” 4

He frowned. “ _Hanch teim_?” 5

“ _Fou sintaim_.” 6

He was silent for a few moments. Behind him a few of the council members moved, looking first at Roan then at her. Ferris and Atlan exchanged a glance while Danyel stared at the floor and Hamza stared harder at Roan. Lexa gauged the mood as supportive of her, and curious about what Roan might offer.

“Four days,” he said after a while. “This is unacceptable. Polis belongs to all of us, and even I, as an outcast from _Azgeda_ , will do all I can to prevent such.”

Approving murmurs from those gathered moved around the room.

“I will help you stop the _natrona_ in the mountain, _Heda_. But I seek your help in return.” His gaze drilled into hers, but it was not disrespectful. Rather, impassioned.

She waited, suspecting what he wanted. The council representatives lapsed into silence.

“Nia should no longer be _plana kom Azgeda_ ,” he said with a certainty that she was pleased to hear.

More soft muttering among council representatives circulated.

“I wish to ensure my people’s prosperity and safety as my father did, and erase the stain of my mother’s corruption.”

“You would lead _Azgeda_ in your mother’s stead?” Lexa asked.

“ _Sha_. I have no loyalty to her. I do, however, seek the wellbeing of my people. To do this, _Heda_ , I ask that you lift my banishment, that I may rightfully challenge Nia’s rule.”

Lexa let his statement hover over the clan representatives and for a few moments, no one spoke until she broke the silence. “Are there those among us here who would take exception to such a course of action?” She swept the assembled with her gaze.

“ _Heda_ , _teik ai chich op klir_?” 3 Atlan asked.

“ _Sha_ , _Atlan kom Floukru_.”

“ _Mochof_. She stepped forward and turned so she could address those gathered. “I speak in support of _hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ , who stands to lose everything and gain nothing by coming here today. I have long watched _plana Nia kom Azgeda_ work against the wishes of her people, and allow a quest for power to overrule their needs. We have all heard the complaints from many in _Azgeda_ , and some of us, at least, have wondered whether it is possible to ensure the rise of a new leader.” She turned back to Lexa. “I would support the request of _hainofa Roan_ , provided he agrees to aid us with _Maun-de_.”

Lexa nodded at her and Atlan returned to her original place.

Murmurs circulated again and Danyel’s lips pursed.

“ _Danyel kom Delfikru_ , what say you?” Lexa asked, tone mild.

He looked at her, surprised. She knew he had no love for Nia, but he had been one of those who had initially criticized Lexa’s decision at the mountain using the terminology Nia did, and Lexa preferred he air his grievances publicly before the clan representatives. Offering him the opportunity to do so in this setting ensured that her gesture was witnessed, and should he complain about her actions later, he would lose face in the eyes of the other clan representatives.

“If the challenge is successful, would _Roan kom Azgeda_ petition to join the _kongeda_?” he asked.

Lexa turned her attention back to Roan and waited.

“ _Sha_ , _Danyel kom Delfikru_ ,” he said with a nod. “I would seek the entrance of _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_.”

“What if the challenge for _Azgeda_ is not successful?” Danyel pressed.

“Then Nia will no doubt continue her quest to be Commander,” Lexa said before Roan could respond. She returned her gaze to him.

“And presumably I’ll either be dead or regrouping.” Roan kept his attention on Danyel. “But if my challenge _is_ successful, then the clans will be fully unified and we need waste no more time on the actions of my mother, who does not seek to ensure the welfare of my people, or of any of the clans.”

Danyel’s expression tightened. “Does _hainofa Roan_ wish for the _kongeda_ to offer warriors to his cause?”

“That is not something I am requesting,” Roan said. “However, should the clan council wish to support my challenge, I would not turn such away.”

Lexa fought a smile at the glare Danyel shot him. “ _Heda_ ,” Danyel said, “will you order warriors to the support of such a cause?”

“ _Hainofa Roan_ ’s challenge of _plana Nia_ is a matter best left to him and those of _Azgeda_ who support such,” she said, refusing to take Danyel’s bait. If she offered warriors, Nia could claim that Lexa was challenging her, and it would be interpreted as an act of war. “However, should Nia decide to force a conflict with me once Roan challenges her, then I and the council will decide how to respond.”

Danyel seemed to deflate at her response and he scowled. He actually liked sparring with her, she knew, but he was often full of bluster and easily sidestepped.

“ _Heda_ ,” came Ferris’s rumbling voice.

“Speak.”

“If _Roan kom Azgeda_ speaks true about aiding us at _Maun-de_ , then I support his challenge of Nia and his request to lift his banishment.” He glanced around at the others, some of whom murmured to each other.

“I speak true, _Ferris kom Trishana_. I will not stand by and see Polis destroyed. My mother has brought shame to _Azgeda_ by agreeing to any sort of bargain with _splita_ and _natrona_ , and by challenging _Heda_.”

Several gathered nodded and Lexa stood. “Are there those among us who do not support the petition of _hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_? Let it be known.” She waited, and those gathered glanced around at each other. Even Danyel looked sufficiently appeased, as did Hamza.

“Very well. I have heard the request of _Roan kom Azgeda_ and in accordance with the council’s wishes, I will lift the banishment imposed upon him by _plana Nia kom Azgeda_. Let the council be aware that I do this not as a personal challenge of Nia from either my position as Commander or as a member of the _kongeda_ , but rather as a way of granting a man fair means to issue his own challenge and pursue his own course of action—” she paused, “once he has completed his obligation to us at the mountain.” She emphasized the last part. It made no sense to lift his banishment now, as he could then decide not to aid them and instead work expressly at challenging Nia. As useful as that might be in the long term, she preferred he was beholden to her for a few more days.

She looked at Roan. “I will lift your banishment, _hainofa_ , when those within the mountain are defeated and there is no longer a threat to Polis. Are these acceptable terms?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, and if he was disappointed, it didn’t show.

“Is it agreed?” she addressed the council. “If there are those among you who object, let it be known.” A few moments passed, and clan representatives nodded approvingly.

“Then it is done. We are in agreement. _Roan kom Azgeda_ , you are welcome in Polis. It is time we discuss strategy.”

“ _Heda_ , _teik ai chich op klir_?”

“ _Sha_ , _Gani kom Podakru_.”

Gani stepped forward. “The _kongeda_ has agreed to send warriors to the mountain to aid _Skaikru_ and defend the clans and Polis, as each clan is able. As _heda kom Podakru_. Nia is part of the threat to Polis and the clans. Does it not stand to reason that _Roan kom Azgeda_ will thus receive aid in his challenge from the _kongeda_?”

“I agree,” Hamza said.

Lexa raised her hand and Hamza went quiet. “Proceed, Gani.”

“I will clarify,” she said. “Nia is in alliance with the _natrona_ and _splita_ in _Maun-de_. _Roan kom Azgeda_ has agreed to help us put a stop to the threat. Are we not aiding him in his challenge to Nia should we work in alliance with him in this endeavor?”

Whispers moved swiftly around the chamber.

“ _Heda_ ,” Roan said. “May I address the statements of _Gani kom Podakru_?”

“ _Sha_.” She remained standing.

“I do not request aid in my challenge from the clans. I and my warriors will instead aid the clans against the mountain. Nia is a part of the threat at the mountain, but the threat is a separate issue than my challenge. And I cannot raise a legitimate challenge against her without the lifting of my banishment. Let it be witnessed here, by the council of clans and members of the _kongeda_ , that I do not seek aid for my challenge, only to offer my aid to the _kongeda_ against the threat at the mountain.”

Lexa looked at Gani. “Does this satisfy your concerns? And yours, _Hamza kom Sankru_?”

They both affirmed.

“Very well. Let us gather.” She descended to the chamber floor, her coat moving with her steps, leather creaking. She wore all her knives but she had forgone her facepaint and swords, as she felt no need to impress Roan. His future was in her hands, and all gathered knew it.

Her warriors fell in with her as she moved to the door, followed by the council representatives, to the meeting room. There would be little time to coordinate, but she was used to making decisions quickly, and the threat at the mountain affected all the clans, so she would not receive as much opposition as she might in other matters.

As she seated herself at the head of the long table, she thought again of Clarke, and hoped that she would be able to speak with her before either of them left for the mountain. She caught Kane’s eye as he took a seat toward the end of the table, in deference to longstanding clan representatives. She gave him a nod and waited for the others to seat themselves. There was much work to do.

  
1 _Hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ _gaf chich ai_ : Prince Roan of/from Azgeda wishes to speak to me   
2 _Chil yo daun_ : Stand down   
3 _Heda_ , _teik ai chich op klir_ : _Heda_ , permission to speak freely   
4 _Osir souda hod emo op_ : We (excludes the one to whom the statement is directed) must stop them   
5 _Hanch teim_? How much time?   
6 _Fou sintaim_ : Four days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! Posting on Monday because I didn't Friday and I probably won't this coming Friday (the 28th cuz I'll be on the road and won't be able to write much). So here you go!
> 
> Things are clearly moving along and Clarke and co. need to get their butts to the mountain. They're just about ready to go. And there's a new development in Polis and we'll see how that works out.
> 
> Also, thanks to Nathalie26 who asked in a previous chapter if Clarke and Lexa would somehow send messages to each other after Clarke left Polis. I thought about that (they've got the radios, but...) and decided, sure! So I included a teaser in the first scene of this chapter along those lines and it'll pan out in the next. Thanks!
> 
> And thanks for all the comments and kudos. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but don't freak out if I don't. On the road and all. Thanks for your patience.
> 
> A couple of songs that helped with the writing of this chapter: Andain, "Promises" (Myon and Shane 54 Summer of Love mix); port-royal, "Roliga Timmen" (Longing Machines; Derger Fraternity Remix)


	42. What Others Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Lexa's scouts has messages from Indra and Clarke as well as a little bit of insight Lexa didn't expect. Then Lexa and Kane talk to Clarke via radio about the plans for the mountain and Titus reveals something about Lexa's past she didn't know.

Lexa left the guardhouse and strode back across the plaza to the tower, accompanied by four guards and a cool night rain. The clatter of hooves on the flagstones drew her attention to the tower entrance and she redirected her steps toward the horse and its rider and the guards who had surrounded them.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said as she dismounted. “ _Ai lid imfou in kom Klark en Indra_.” 1 She pushed the hood of her cloak back and brushed a strand of dark hair out of her face.

“ _Os_. _Gyon au gon strik wogeda_.” 2

Tam nodded and went into the tower as another guardswoman took the reins of her horse.

Lexa turned to another guard. “ _Sen Balta op gon strik wogeda_.” 3

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He, too, entered the tower and Lexa went to the lift, heartbeat speeding up at even a mention of a message from Clarke. The thought amused her, and she knew Clarke would tease her if she knew, would probably smile because something like a simple message from her caused a thrill for the Commander of the thirteen clans.

The lift stopped at the meeting room floor and Lexa stepped off, wishing that she could see Clarke’s smile again. No doubt Clarke would give her a look, first, because Lexa was still dressed in light battle gear, and she would gently remonstrate her for not getting some rest. The ache in her chest that she carried since Clarke had left Polis only made her more resolute in helping destroy the mountain, though she knew her reasons were also selfish, this time, and had more to do with taking Clarke in her arms once she could and holding on as long as time allowed. Not at all what she had envisioned for herself even a few months ago, but she welcomed the memories, and the physical sensations that they encouraged.

Lexa entered the meeting room where Tam stood, waiting. Lexa’s guards remained outside in the corridor and Lexa shut the door. Several candles near the long table had been lit, and they cast shadows across the walls.

“Are you well?” she asked as she approached and Tam nodded.

She offered a grim smile. “There are many _Azgeda_ in the forests around Arkadia, but they are sloppy. It’s not so difficult getting past them.” She set her pack on the table and opened it. “Clarke is well,” she said, and Lexa relaxed, though like most of her emotions, she didn’t reveal it.

“Clarke wanted that to be among the first things I said to you. She knew you would ask.” If Tam thought anything about that beyond relaying a message, it didn’t show, and Lexa was relieved.

“And Indra?”

“Also well.” Tam set a small packet on the table. “For Kane.” She then handed a rolled-up paper to her. “From Clarke.”

Lexa unrolled it. A map of the interior of Mt. Weather. She spread it out on the table and used two of her knives to weigh down opposite corners. Tam made an appreciative noise.

“ _Skaikru_ is indeed resourceful,” Tam said. “This is detailed.”

“Mmm. What of Indra?” She glanced at her.

“She works with Bellamy, Lincoln, Octavia, and Clarke and also wishes you to know that _Trishana_ ’s forces have arrived near the _Maun-de_ dam, on the back side and out of sight.”

“Who is commanding them?”

“ _Kris kom Trishana_.” 4

That was good news. Kris was a seasoned but dynamic warrior, willing to work with others.

“ _Yujleda_ 5 has also sent thirty warriors, under Derick.”

“So Ridj said he had ordered. Where is Indra placing them?”

“Southwest of _Maun-de_.”

Lexa retrieved another map from a nearby shelf, this one on tanned hide, and unrolled it next to the map Clarke had sent. “Where is Nia?”

Tam moved two candle stands close to the table then studied the map and pointed at a spot just east of what would be the area of the main entrance into the mountain. “Here. She estimates two hundred. And there are several dozen in and around Arkadia, but those can be isolated from the main encampment, Indra feels certain, because they are not woods people.”

Lexa nodded, thinking. Indra’s warriors were well-trained in flanking strategies and creating numerous problems and diversions for opposing forces. “ _Floukru_ also sends warriors. Thirty, and Atlan will lead them.”

Tam looked at her, surprised.

“That you will tell Indra. Atlan’s forces arrive here tomorrow and they will accompany some of my forces from Polis. We will split into groups, and approach the mountain from the north, south, and east, but we will avoid Arkadia, which _Azgeda_ watches. Indra already has some warriors placed within.”

“ _Sha_.”

“You will also tell Indra that all of the clans with the exception of _Skaikru_ are sending warriors. _Skaikru_ obviously cannot participate in that way.”

“Even Danyel and Hamza agreed to this?”

Lexa gave her a wry smile. “Even they understand the value of ensuring that Polis remain standing.”

Tam was about to respond when the door opened. “ _Heda_ ,” Balta said.

Lexa motioned her in and she entered, along with a young girl, both carrying a tray of food. After Balta had set the dishes on the end of the table that didn’t have maps spread out on it and dismissed the other server, she turned to Tam.

“You are well?”

“ _Sha_. No wounds, fortunately.”

“Then you both must eat.”

Lexa raised her eyebrow and Balta threw her an innocent look. “Neither of you is much good to us if you’re not fed or rested.”

“It seems Balta has spoken,” Lexa said. She sat down and placed strips of seasoned meat on a slice of bread. Balta poured her a cup of spiced hot tea then handed Tam a goblet of water.

Tam dug in with gusto. _“Mochof_ ,” she said to Balta, who nodded before she withdrew. Lexa sipped the tea, and it warmed her. She was still wet from the rain. After they had both finished, Balta returned in that uncanny way she had of knowing precisely when she was needed, and stacked the dishes on a larger tray and left. Lexa stood and returned to the maps.

Tam followed. “Indra wishes to know when you are leaving for the mountain, _Heda_.”

“No later than tomorrow afternoon. I have already sent warriors ahead, and scouts to Indra’s camp. But I need you to take her new information.”

“ _Sha_.”

“You are to rest but leave before first light.” Lexa caught her gaze to make sure Tam understood.

She nodded.

“The message is this, only for Indra’s ears. _Roan kom Azgeda_ has a hundred warriors in the forests east of here. They are loyal to him. He will aid us at the mountain and in exchange, I will lift his banishment. Once I do, he is free to challenge Nia for leadership of _Azgeda_.”

Tam’s eyes widened. “Roan was here?”

“ _Sha_. He petitioned the council today. He says there are perhaps three hundred warriors loyal to him still in _Azgeda_ , and they sow discontent. There are many, apparently, who do not approve of Nia’s leadership. He also says there are a few among Nia’s encampment at _Maun-de_ who are loyal to him. The rest may follow Roan’s loyalists given the right opportunity.” She stopped and gazed hard at Tam. “Repeat that back to me.”

Tam did and Lexa nodded, satisfied. “Roan left Polis at nightfall. He will join Indra’s forces north of the mountain, since the council agreed that it would not help our cause or his challenge were he to be seen by Nia before _Skaikru_ can disable the mountain.” She waited for Tam to repeat that back to her, as well.

“ _Os_. It is time now for you to rest,” Lexa said.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She then reached into her pack and removed a rolled-up piece of cloth, about the length of Lexa’s hand. “Clarke wanted me to give this to you, as well, once our business was concluded. It is only for you to see.”

Lexa took it but didn’t open it.

“What would you have me tell Clarke?”

“We stand with _Skaikru_ , we are moving into position, and we have taken precautions here.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, voice soft, “ _Wanheda_ also wishes to know that you are well.”

“She said this?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Then you may tell her I am.”

Tam half-smiled, a mixture of affection and indulgence in her expression. “May I speak freely?”

Lexa furrowed her brow but nodded.

“I have willingly served you since your Ascension, _Heda kom Trikru_. I was not much older than you when you entered the Conclave, but I knew there was something much different about you than the others, and I listened to many voices during those years of your training. I heard Anya’s respect, Titus’s praise, and Balta’s confidence in you—

made in passing, nothing untoward. And I watched you, because I wanted to serve a _Heda_ who would make me feel honored to do so.”

She waited, surprised by Tam’s words, because she rarely, if ever, expressed her thoughts about personal matters such as this with her.

“I watched you in the months after your Ascension, and watched you after Costia was taken. And you proved then, as you continue to do, that you are indeed a _Heda_ I am honored to serve.” She paused. “You lead with wisdom, compassion, and strength, as you instruct the current Novitiates. I see all of this in you, and I see, also, that many not only respect you, but they care about you, even when you have to make decisions that require high prices.”

Lexa remained silent, since she sensed Tam had more to say.

“I am one of many who not only serves you with pride, but who cares about you.” She smiled. “But it is clearly difficult for _Heda_ to accept such. This is also a price you think you must pay, because you believe it will protect us who serve you and care for you from the role you had to take when the spirit of the Commander chose you.”

Lexa stared at her.

“I say these things to you because _Klark kom Skaikru_ is perhaps the boldest among us.”

“Explain.”

“She expresses her thoughts openly, and she cares about the welfare of _Heda_ , because she understands the burdens of leadership, but she also worries about _Leksa kom Trikru_.” She paused. “She specifically directed me to tell you that.”

Myriad thoughts raced through Lexa’s mind, all of them about Clarke.

“She places her trust in you, and she sees in you many things that you do not show others.” She smiled again. “There will always be those whose spirits speak to us on levels others cannot, and whether we wish it or not, they will always see that which we think we do not show. Clarke spends much time worrying about the welfare of others, but she is especially concerned about yours, and though she is discreet out of respect for you, I see it in her eyes and I hear it in her voice. She truly cares.”

Lexa stared at her for a long moment, wondering how many others might have sensed the strengthening of their bond and what that might mean.

“ _Heda_ , I know what it is to lose someone, but I know as well what it is to find someone. The spirit of the Commander seeks those who understand that a leader cannot truly ensure the safety and prosperity of her people if she cannot or will not love. I know that you can, and I know that you will, no matter how much you have lost.” She stopped, then, and waited for a response.

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, _Tam kom Trikru_ , have you perhaps been spending too much time with Balta, that you may learn the art of healing wounds of the spirit?” She softened her words with a smile of her own.

“Sometimes our wounds do not heal without help.”

Lexa chuckled. “You speak true,” she said, and Tam stared at her, relieved, as if she had been worried about her reaction. “And all of this you have learned by watching?”

“I am a scout,” she said with a shrug and Lexa smiled.

“Trained well. If Anya were still with us, she would no doubt have a few things to say about your statements.” Most likely, Anya would tell Lexa to either stop wishing for more from Clarke or she would tell her to act on it already. But Lexa was more patient in many regards than Anya had been, and as _Heda_ , there was far more at stake here than simply a physical release because, unlike some of her predecessors, Lexa was very careful about intimate entanglements, whether emotional or physical. And with Clarke, what she felt was much more than simply a physical attraction.

“I seek only to ensure your well-being, as both _Heda_ and a member of my clan.” She bowed her head in respect.

“And taking a message to Clarke will help ensure that?” She allowed the hint of a smile to quirk the corner of her mouth.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I believe it will.”

“Very well. Tell her I am well, but I, too, worry about both _Wanheda_ and _Klark kom Skaikru_. And tell her there is always a place in Polis for her as _Skaikru_ representative. Which means she is required to engage in more knife-throwing lessons.”

Tam cocked her head, puzzled.

“She’ll know what that means.”

She grinned. “I will ensure she hears these things.”

“I have no doubt. _Mochof_ , _Tam kom Trikru_ , _gon yu badannes_ ,”6 Lexa said, and she extended her arm. “ _Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon_.”

“ _En yu_ , _Heda_.” 7 Tam gripped her forearm then picked up her pack and left. She shut the door behind her and Lexa stood for a long moment, staring at the map of the interior of Mt. Weather, wondering if Tam had said these things in case she wouldn’t have another chance. All among the clans knew that life could be fleeting, and words were not wasted.

Instinctively, she knew that Clarke had drawn this map, would have known had Tam not told her. She recognized bits of her style in the rendition, from the soft, almost organic curve of one of the old mining tunnels to the whimsical touch of the symbols she had concocted for the various rooms. Lexa had not seen Clarke’s handwriting prior to this, and she ran her finger lightly over some of the letters. Strong and clear, like Clarke in some ways. She smiled because she hadn’t told Clarke that she could read English, as well as speak it, so Clarke had provided both words and symbols.

Lexa carefully unrolled the cloth Tam had given her and she drew in a sharp breath at the painting of her and Clarke in profile from the chests up, their foreheads pressed together, gazes locked. Lexa’s hand rested on Clarke’s cheek and Clarke’s hand, in turn, covered hers. Clarke’s shirt was dark while hers was light, and Clarke had painted her own hair pulled back and Lexa’s down, like when she was done for the day and allowed herself to relax.

The painting, as small as it was, captured some of the intimacy they had shared in the days before Clarke left. Lexa studied the lines of Clarke’s face and she wasn’t sure when precisely it had happened, but she knew without any doubt that there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her, knew that Clarke had walked right through her defenses and taken her heart. And she had done so without any weapons or attack. She was simply Clarke, and everything about her, everything she had shown, everything she shared, had brought Lexa, the Commander of the thirteen clans, willingly to her knees.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said from the doorway, tone urgent. “Kane requests you join him in his quarters. There is contact on the radio from Arkadia.”

“Very well.” Lexa folded the cloth and tucked it into her shirt, next to her heart. She picked up the packet Tam had left for Kane and strode from the room to the stairs, three guards rushing to catch up.

  
1 _Ai lid imfou in kom Klark en Indra_ : I bring information from Clark and Indra   
2 _Os_. _Gyon au gon strik wogeda_ : Good. Go to the small [meeting] room.   
3 _Sen Balta op gon strik wogeda_ : Send Balta to the small [meeting] room   
4 _Kris kom Trishana_ : Kris of/from _Trishana_ (Glowing Forest Clan)   
5 _Yujleda_ : Broadleaf Clan   
6 _Mochof_ , _Tam kom Trikru_ , _gon yu badannes_ … _Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon_ : Thank you, Tam of/from _Trikru_ , for your allegiance. Safe travels.   
7 _En yu_ , _Heda_ : And you, _Heda_ [you as well, _Heda_ ]

###

“Kane,” came Clarke’s voice and Lexa wondered if her relief at hearing it was apparent. “Is Lexa there?”

“Yes,” she said. “I’m here.”

“Good. Did you get the map of the mountain?”

Kane looked at her, puzzled. He looked rested, but his expression was tight with anxiety.

“Yes,” she said. “And the batteries for Kane. I received your other message, as well. We will discuss it when next we see each other,” she said, and Kane’s puzzlement increased.

“Good,” she said again, but Lexa recognized a certain warmth in her voice that she used when they were alone and even as it caused heat to fill her veins, she wondered at these risks they were both willing to take, in spite of their better judgment.

“Clarke,” Kane said, “what’s the plan on your end?”

“The decoy will be leaving Arkadia in the next few hours. She’ll be with three _Trikru_ warriors, and two others—including Mora—who will stay hidden. We’re sending her east first, and then she’ll come back, to make it seem she’s coming from that direction rather than from Arkadia. And they’re planning on traveling slowly, so when the mountain realizes she’s on her way, they’ll be focused on that and not necessarily on the tunnels.”

“And about that—” Kane said.

“We’re going in through a different tunnel than was used for Reapers. Indra went with a scout and got to the Reaper tunnel where they administered the Red, and they weren’t seen. But we’ll go into this other tunnel, which is apparently not used much because it’s higher up on the mountain and not easy to get to. Lexa, you should see it on the map. I marked it. We’re leaving at first light, too.”

“The mountain still has surveillance capabilities,” Kane said, and was greeted with static. “Clarke?”

More static. Then, “—radio with Bellamy.”

“Say again. We lost you for a bit.”

“I’ll be with Bellamy. He’ll have a radio. Raven will base at Arkadia to keep Abby informed. We’ll let you know when and where we have the explosives planted.”

“Explosives? You’re serious about blowing the missiles up?”

Static.

“Clarke?”

“Lexa?” came Clarke’s voice again.

“Yes.”

“When will you be leaving Polis?”

“First light as well. The clans are supportive and Indra and I are placing forces in areas that will help isolate _Azgeda_ from each other and from the mountain. Kane will be with us.” She looked at him for confirmation and he nodded emphatically.

“Good. Either Bellamy or Raven will check in with him. And Kane?”

“Yeah?”

“The decoy is Gina, from Farm Station.”

“I know her,” he said, tone resigned. “What if Pike finds her?”

“We’re hoping that doesn’t happen—” static. Then, “I have to go. Lexa?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to that discussion.”

She smiled. “As do I. _Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“ _Yu seintaim, Leksa kom Trikru_.” 8

The radio went dead and Kane looked at Lexa across the table. She saw worry in his eyes, though he masked it well. He toyed with one of the batteries Tam had brought from Arkadia.

“I don’t know if this plan will work,” he said. “The people in the mountain are going to be watching very carefully, and they have the tech to monitor.”

Lexa had made herself comfortable in one of the chairs in Kane’s quarters. “Clarke is right. There is no other way. And my forces as well as the forces of the other clans will provide distraction.”

“How? Won’t Emerson fire the missiles if he sees all these warriors congregating around the mountain?”

“They will assume we are attempting to deal with Nia’s encampment. And Emerson will not fire unless he can watch Clarke’s reaction.”

Kane shook his head. “He may fire at Polis as a warning, if Clarke doesn’t show in the five days.”

“This is a possibility. And it is why we move now. The decoy is a good idea, because the mountain will use its tech to see things at a distance and if they see someone who looks like Clarke approaching, they may assume it _is_ Clarke, and that allows her more time to access the mountain and more time for us to help.”

He grimaced. “Surely we can bargain with Sanders,” he said. “Maybe the Arkadia council is right, in wanting to ask for more time.”

“Sanders probably knew about Pike’s attack on the patrol that killed my people and yours. This does not seem like a man who will bargain.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “What are we missing? There has to be something—anything. A weakness somewhere that doesn’t require going into the mountain.”

Lexa regarded him for a few moments. “Even the smallest forces can best the largest if they have weaponry like what is in the mountain. We could easily overwhelm them if they were not in the mountain. But as long as Emerson has control of missiles and is within the mountain, we have no chance in a battle. In order to stop any missile attack, we have to ensure that the missiles cannot be fired. Clarke is right that removing Emerson is not a guarantee. He will have made other arrangements in case that happened. To stop the missiles, someone must go into the mountain.”

He pushed back from the table. “You can’t be okay with this.” He looked at her, almost accusatory.

“It doesn’t matter what I do or do not think. Clarke’s plan is the best course of action. And as agreed, my forces will create diversions on the outside, and keep Nia’s warriors engaged.” What she didn’t say was that no, she was most certainly not okay with Clarke returning to the mountain, and she was fully aware that her worries were a price she paid for allowing herself to feel what she did for her. Regardless, she would gladly pay it again for the time they had shared in Polis and for the bond between them.

“How many warriors is the _kongeda_ providing?” Kane asked after a while.

“Enough,” Lexa said.

Kane didn’t push her on that point. “Will Nia consider your involvement in such a way an act of war against her?”

“That is not my concern.”

“Why not?” He was genuinely curious and she remembered the time they had spent together when they had first met. That was Lexa’s first real experience dealing with _Skaikru_. Kane she had instinctively liked because he wanted to understand and he was willing to listen, but the other man—Jaha—she hadn’t trusted. Not that he would willfully deceive. Rather, he would deceive because he, too, believed whatever deception he settled upon. He was the type to prosyletize, and become enamored with his own beliefs. Whatever had happened to him before he came to the ground and perhaps after, it left him with an emptiness that he sought to fill, and wounds he wished to avoid. During her training and her time as _Heda_ , she had seen people like him succumb to strange beliefs and end up fanatics for causes they often didn’t fully understand. Nia was one type. Jaha, she suspected, was another.

“If Nia decides to claim that I am declaring war on her under these circumstances,” Lexa explained, patient, “then she is also obligated to explain what she is doing at the mountain, and why her warriors linger near Arkadia and involve themselves with attacks on _Skaikru_ patrols.”

Kane’s eyes widened and then he chuckled. “You and Clarke,” he said. “Always several steps ahead. Here I was thinking that Nia would claim you were threatening her as a way to curry sympathy from those who might support her.”

Lexa shrugged. “That isn’t a wrong assumption. It’s just not complete. She will most likely consider it as an option, because she tends to underestimate me, but she will instead claim that she was merely trying to protect us from the _natrona_ and _splita_ in the mountain because, she will say, I am not a strong enough leader to do it.”

He nodded slowly. “She’ll betray Emerson and try to make you look bad.”

“Yes.”

“Should we worry about what she’ll do?”

She smiled. “We must always worry about what Nia does or might do. But she is not our most immediate threat.”

“How else can I help?”

“You have the radio. I need you to stay informed about Clarke’s location and help me communicate with her. I also need you to stay in contact with Arkadia. It is best that the Chancellor be aware of what is happening, as well. I only ask that you check with me or Clarke before you reveal information about our positions and plans.”

He chuckled. “That sounds like a standard instruction that you give to your warriors.”

She smiled. “You’re part of the _kongeda_ , Kane. You _are_ one of my warriors.”

His eyes widened in both pleasure and surprise. “I’m honored.”

“Perhaps you will think differently after you have served with me in that capacity,” she said, but with a note of teasing.

He chuckled again. “Unless you suddenly turn into someone like Nia, I doubt that.”

She stood. “Prepare and then rest. We leave at first light.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said as he stood. “ _Mochof gon ething_.” 9

She flashed a quick smile. “Polis does you good, _Markus kom Skaikru_.”

“I believe it does.”

“ _Heda_ ,” said one of the guards from the doorway. “Titus awaits, as you instructed.”

She nodded and turned back to Kane. “First light,” she repeated and he nodded back at her before she left his quarters and took the stairs to the meeting room floor. Titus waited near the balcony, hands clasped behind his back. He wore a dark robe, belted at the waist.

“The Novitiates have been moved to safety,” he said. “We have also begun evacuating others to clan villages. Slowly and quietly, as we agreed.”

“How many?”

“At least half of Polis will be temporarily resettled in the next two days.”

“Ensure that those who remain are far from the city center. And clear the tower,” she said. “That will no doubt be a primary target.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I agree with this strategy.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you do on this, at least.”

He stared studiously out the window of the balcony door, though there was nothing much to see through the darkness and continued rain. Candlelight glinted off his bare scalp.

“I also agree with your decision regarding _Roan kom Azgeda_.”

She gave him a look. “Agreeing with me twice in one day. What will become of your reputation?”

He smiled at that. “It has been a while since I have seen this aspect of you, _Heda_.”

She knew he meant the lighter side, the one in which she teased him and he indulged her. He enjoyed it, though he would never openly admit it.

“I confess I missed it,” he said softly.

“Mmm.” She wondered if perhaps Clarke drew it out of her, made her relax a bit more.

“It is also part of what draws many to you, that you are willing to express such and allow others to speak freely before you.”

“A good leader does not inspire fear among her people, because fear can lead to resentment.” She looked at him. “You told me that.”

He nodded.

“You said that a Commander who is unwilling to listen to others—no matter who they are—is at risk. It encourages internal dissent.” She thought back to the day he had said those words, after a particularly grueling training session in the Conclave. She had not been so willing to listen then, and as a result, one of the other Novitiates had carried a grudge against her that created a rift among the others. It took a long time to heal and left her with more injuries that day than she had sustained on others. But, he had told her, sometimes the most important lessons to learn required trials like that.

He stared out the balcony doors again. The sound of the rain on the glass had slowed. “Before your parents released you to the Conclave, your mother had told me that there was already a strong spirit within you, and she hoped that the training and education you received would nurture, rather than repress it.” He turned his gaze back to her. “She said the spirit of the Commander would choose you, because it was time for a different sort of _Heda_.”

He had never told her this, and she frowned, wondering at the timing of his statements. Titus often offered lessons obliquely, and his point wasn’t always readily apparent.

“She said that war has its purposes,” he continued, “but should not be a constant state, and that you would be the _Heda_ to show us another way.”

Lexa thought of her mother. She had known her for five years, since she was given to the Conclave early, but she remembered her as a strong presence during her early childhood, who laughed often but who, like Atlan, commanded respect from the other villagers. She also remembered her teaching her woodscraft and weapons play, as well as English.

“I see some of her in you,” Titus said, with approval. “In the way that you consider many different arguments, and also in the strength of your convictions.”

“How do you know this about her?”

“During your early years as a Novitiate, she came to me a few times to check on your progress, though she was not allowed to see you, as is the way of the Conclave. I saw, when watching you, and in knowing what I did of her, that part of your spirit came from her.” He cleared his throat softly, something he did when he was uncomfortable with a conversation and about to reveal something. “When she died, I learned that she gave you something else.”

She waited, and the silence stretched until he cleared his throat again and spoke.

“ _Em don ron em jus op gon yu seintaim_ , _Heda_.” 10

She stared at him, every muscle tensed. “ _Ai nomon don Natblida_?” 11 How had she not known that about her mother? And why had her mother not been a Novitiate? “Speak true, Titus,” she said, a warning in her tone.

“I do, _Heda_. Her _Sheidjus_ was kept hidden, and I did not know until her death.”

“You’re certain of this?”

He nodded. “There are those among the _Natblida_ who are not found, and who are kept hidden from the _fleimkepa_.”

“Why did she hide it?”

“Her family had already given a _Natblida_ to the Conclave, and did not wish to give another.”

“Who was the other?”

“Your mother’s oldest brother. The spirit of the Commander did not choose him.”

So he had died at Ascension. Lexa stared through the balcony doors into the night. She hadn’t known this story. “There were two _Natblida_ in one family?”

He shrugged. “Three, with you. Different generations, but three nonetheless. Sometimes this happens, a cluster like this, though it is rare. That is why I watch families from which a _Natblida_ comes, because there may be others and the families may choose to hide them. But in your case, your mother came to me a year after you were born.”

She looked back at him. “Why?”

“Two things. Your spirit, and she thought well of me as _fleimkepa_. She was convinced you would be _Heda_ , and she said she would place you in the Conclave after you reached your fifth year. She wanted that time with you, to prepare you.”

“She never said anything about it.” Lexa thought, but could remember nothing her mother had said about the Conclave. Nothing specific, at least. Thinking about it now, her mother had, in fact, prepared her in ways she hadn’t realized for the responsibilities she dealt with now, including weapons. Who had trained her mother in weapons? And how had her mother learned to speak English? Lexa remembered she herself spoke it early, before she came to Polis, because her mother taught her.

“She did not want you to be burdened with such an idea so early, so she prepared you in other ways,” he said, voice soft.

This was not one of his lessons. She stared at him. “Why are you telling me this now? After all this time? My mother died my third year in the Conclave.” Her tone was flat, but not accusatory. Titus always had a good reason for what he did, and though she questioned him, she knew he made decisions because he believed in his reasons.

“Because, _Heda_ , she was right. And I realize that it is important that you understand that your spirit was strong long before you came to the Conclave, and that your mother encouraged it. I tell you this now because I have come to see that you are doing what I thought was impossible, doing what no other _Heda_ has done. And though I have my concerns, I think I see, now, the value in why you have worked to unify the clans.”

She was silent for a while, remembering how her mother comported herself, how the villagers looked to her for leadership. She had been very good with swords and knives, she remembered. There wasn’t a time in Lexa’s life that she didn’t have a knife with her, and she realized that her mother was the one who had placed the first one in her hand. “The spirit of the Commander might have chosen my mother,” she said, “had she been placed in the Conclave.”

“Perhaps. But had that happened, you would not be here, doing what I thought was impossible.” He turned to fully face her. “Your mother, I think, held a strong spirit. But she recognized one much stronger in you. When she came of age, she could have requested to be placed in the Conclave, but she did not.”

“Why not?”

“I do not know. I only learned of her blood after her death. Perhaps she felt she would serve her people better were she to avoid the Conclave, and when you were born and she realized you were _Natblida_ , she perhaps thought you were the one better prepared to take the spirit of the Commander.” He pursed his lips, thinking. “Regardless, she was right,” he said a few moments later. He looked at her. “The spirit of the Commander chose you, as your mother insisted would happen, and you are, indeed, a different kind of _Heda_.”

She smiled. “You tell me these things about my mother now because you believe that I’m right?”

He smiled back. “The clan leaders trust what you have told them about the mountain, and their people, in turn, trust them and you. As a result, the evacuations have gone more smoothly than I thought possible. The alliance with _Skaikru_ has proven beneficial, in light of the threat from _Maun-de_. And your decision not to lift the banishment from _Roan kom Azgeda_ when he first requested it has also been proven correct.”

“You were not pleased when I made that decision months ago,” she said, teasing again.

“No. I resisted the fact that you are a different kind of _Heda_.” He nodded once, as if coming to some sort of conclusion. “And I suppose I wanted you to know these things now.”

Titus rarely expressed sentiment, and she knew that it made him uncomfortable. When he did, it was because he wanted her to know something without necessarily saying it directly. In this case, she saw that he, too, worried about Polis’s fate and, more surprisingly, about hers. He had overseen the Ascensions of five other Commanders, and she had no illusions about longevity in the role she was granted. Neither did he, and it touched her, that he had shared these thoughts with her.

“ _Mochof_ , _fleimkepa_ ,” she said.

He nodded.

“Once I have left Polis, continue with the evacuations.”

“ _Sha_. It will be as we discussed.”

“Good. And now I wish to speak briefly with Gonin. Perhaps you will join me.” She didn’t phrase it as a question, but the statement left him room to see to other matters if he wished.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Ai na glong yu op_.” 12

“ _Os_.” She strode to the door. When— _if_ —she had more time, she would think more about what he had said with regard to her mother, and about what Tam had said. There was much to mull. But right now, there were preparations for very different matters to be made.

  
8 _Yu seintaim_ : You, also (you, too)   
9 _Mochof gon ething_ : Thanks for everything [you’ve seen this one!]   
10 _Em don ron em jus op gon yu seintaim_ , _Heda_ : She gave her blood to you as well, _Heda_   
11 _Ai nomon don Natblida?_ My mother was a Nightblood?   
12 _Ai na glong yu op_ : I will join you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, friends. I most likely will not be posting on Friday the 28th (on the road), so I'm giving you a couple of chapters now.
> 
> Hope you like the "reveals" about Lexa, including some about her past. I've liked Tam's character throughout, and she's one of Lexa's best scouts and has been on a lot of missions with her, so if anybody can get away with some insight into Clexa, it's her. And I never liked the way the show portrayed Titus because it didn't make sense to me, that he would behave that way with her. So I hope you like how I've conceptualized him and how I'm writing him.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments; I respond as soon as I can, but don't worry if I don't. It's not cuz I'm blowing you off. :)
> 
> Thanks to Nathalie26 for the message idea -- hope you like what Clarke sent to Lexa in this chapter.
> 
> A couple of songs that accompanied me during the writing of this chapter: Mobley, "Tell Me"; Jack Garratt, "Surprise Yourself" (GRYFFIN and Manila Killa Remix)


	43. Casting Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her kru are ready to move out, but Raven makes a surprise announcement and plans need to be adjusted. And then, it happens. Our kru leaves Arkadia to try, once again, to save the world.

Clarke looked up at the knock on the lab door. Raven had gone to get some food and whoever this was hadn’t announced an identity. She sat completely still, wondering if she should go into the adjoining room.

“Raven? It’s Abby.”

She exhaled in relief and let her in.

“Raven’s not here.”

“I know. I came to see you before you left, but I didn’t think I should be banging on the door and using your name out there. It’s not even safe for me to stay too long, since we don’t want people wondering what I’m doing in here.” She sounded worried.

“Okay. Did you—”

“Yes, we’ve started implementing an evacuation plan. I was thinking about doing it anyway, after the demands. I sent a message to Indra earlier about it, and hopefully she can send some warriors to deal with anything that happens.” She meant if Ice Nation tried to attack, Clarke knew.

“I’m glad. How much does the council know?”

She leaned against the big table. “Not everything. I’ve told them that it looks like one of Indra’s scouts located you and you’re on your way to the mountain to try to talk to them.”

“That’s what you said?”

“Yes. Sinclair knows otherwise, but Terra does not and I don’t want her spreading anything around, especially since she’s Farm Station. Pike might have sympathizers still.”

Clarke chewed her lip. That was smart. “And is she okay with the evacuation?”

“Not really, but I told her it was only for a few days, just as a precaution.”

Clarke pointed to the map on the table in Raven’s lab. “Indra has enough forces to deal with whatever _Azgeda_ are in the forests in this vicinity. You just need to get far enough away to survive a strike. Emerson will target the main structure. It’s the most obvious. Maybe a quarter-mile or less away, you should be okay.”

She smiled. “Bellamy and Miller said the same thing.”

“Are you okay working with Miller?” She looked up at her.

“I don’t know him that well, but Bellamy trusts him. And he speaks highly of you.”

“He was in the mountain, and helped hold off the Mountan Men. He’ll keep things on track with the Guard, especially now that Sanders is gone.”

“Well, he’s already been meeting with me and Sinclair, and his father is one of the other officers, so I think we’ll be all right. Terra knows him, and she seems okay with him as the primary coordinator here while—” her voice cracked and she stopped and looked away, .

“Anyway,” Clarke said, because she was still not comfortable about what to do or say when Abby displayed that kind of emotion around her, “Gina will have a radio, and Raven will be handling communications here. We’ll be taking this route to the mountain—” she pointed at the map.

“Clarke.”

“Indra is supposed to have someone meet us at the drop ship and we’ll coordinate from there.”

“Clarke,” Abby said again. “I know what you’re doing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Here. Now. You’re trying to keep busy so you don’t have to think about what’s happening. And so you don’t have to deal with me as your mom. But at some point, you’re going to have to do that.”

“Or maybe I’m trying to make sure that you and everybody here survives,” she snapped back. She gestured at the map and stepped back with a huff, her arms crossed.

“Is that what you think? That we’re all in denial? Or just ignoring what’s going on? What exactly do you think I’m doing as Chancellor all day?”

Clarke bit her lip and stared at the map, though she was no longer seeing it. How did they always seem to end up like this, butting heads and looking for the triggers to do the most damage?

“I’ve got a lot of different agendas I’m trying to balance, not to mention keep your presence here a secret.” She was using her tired mom tone, something Clarke remembered from the Ark, and perhaps for the first time, she realized that Abby was always working—had always been working—but that she’d never really seen it. And after her dad had died, she deliberately stopped paying much attention to what her mom did and didn’t do.

“Okay,” she said, resigned. She couldn’t change what had happened on the Ark. And it wasn’t as if Abby wasn’t trying to help now. Clarke rubbed her forehead. “This isn’t about me wanting to stay busy. I just really want everyone here to be safe.”

“And what about you?”

“Well, yeah. That goes without saying. I’m kind of working for that, too.”

Abby grimaced. “Sometimes you think too much about others and you lose yourself in the equation.”

Clarke stared at the map again. “You told me, before we came to the ground, that I was good at helping others, and that people would look to me for leadership. Guess you forgot to mention the other part.”

A tension-ridden silence filled the space between them and Clarke hated it, both for its familiarity and its weight.

“Look,” Clarke finally said, “I know that you think I’m too young for this, and that I’m not thinking things through or that I’m avoiding dealing with the parts of this that could go really, really wrong. But—” she looked up at her, “that’s not how it works with me. Sometimes I do have to make quick decisions, but that’s a function of life on the ground. I came with the first ones from the Ark, and every day, all of us had to make shitty decisions, sometimes without much time to think about them. That hasn’t changed. You don’t know even half of what we had to contend with, but we did it, and pretty successfully, for the most part, given what we had to work with. And no matter how hard you fight it, I’m not the same person you sent to the ground.”

Abby’s jaw clenched and Clarke waited for the defensive remonstration. Instead, she said, “That’s fair. But no matter who you are now or who you’ve been, you will always be my daughter and I will always love you, no matter how crazy I make you. I will always do what I can to support you, even if you never forgive me.” That last part was hard for her to say, because her voice broke and she looked away.

Another silence hovered between them, this one awkward and filled with things neither knew how to say.

“I—just take care of yourself and be careful,” Abby said after a few moments.

“Yeah.” She looked at her, uncertain what to say. “You’d better go. It’s late, and people might wonder why you’re wandering around Arkadia at night.”

She half-smiled. “I’m checking on Raven. I do that now and then.”

Clarke nodded, her arms crossed. “You know the plan, right? And Raven will let you know what’s happening.”

“Has anything changed since the last time we talked?”

“No.”

“Then yes, I’m aware. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but given the circumstances, I’m not sure there’s another way and we don’t have much time.” She studied the map. “The other day I found myself wishing Emerson had died in the mountain when you flooded it with radiation.”

“He had already been treated with bone marrow. He would have survived.”

“But he would have been outnumbered,” she said. “He wouldn’t have survived that.”

Clarke stared at her.

“I’m not proud of feeling that way, but it would have saved you all of this. You wouldn’t have to go back to the mountain.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You know how I feel about occupying it. I might have gone back anyway to make sure we didn’t do that, because we can’t afford war with the clans, and us in there makes us another set of Mountain Men.”

“We’re not the same.”

“No?” Clarke said with a touch of sarcasm. “Sanders and Pike? The people who follow them? They feel about the clans what the Mountain Men did. And Emerson spent his entire adult life torturing and bleeding Grounders. It’s just another round of the same up there right now.”

Abby’s jaw clenched and she leaned on the table. “We could live safely for decades there.”

“And cause even more mistrust with the clans. Are you seriously saying you’re willing to risk endless war and break the alliance that Lexa and I worked so hard to put together?” Anger crawled up her throat. “Lexa is the first Commander that anyone remembers who is willing to work for peace. Not just among the clans, but with us. If you move into the mountain, you will ruin any chance we have of support from them. And we need them to learn how to survive down here.”

“The tech and medicine would benefit them, as well—“

“Stop. I’m going to the mountain to get my friends out and make sure Emerson doesn’t destroy us and Polis with some of that tech you’re talking about. And I am not going to promise that there’ll be anything left when I’m through.”

She started to say something else then clamped her mouth shut. A moment later, she said, “We can discuss this later.”

“We can discuss it all you want. You’re not changing my mind.” She glared at Abby.

“I don’t understand how you can side with Lexa against us—”

“That is not at all what this is about.” Clarke barely kept her anger out of her voice. “This is about what’s best for us in the long term, and moving into the mountain after what the Mountain Men did for decades to Lexa’s people is not only an insult, but dangerous for us and her. She’s managed to get the entire coalition to support us right now in this mission against the mountain. Do you honestly think moving into it is going to sit well afterward? Do you honestly think we’ll have any credibility with them if we do that? Or that Lexa will?” That thought chilled her more than the other, that Lexa would lose face and political capital if _Skaikru_ moved into the mountain. “We need Lexa in power as long as she can be there. Because without her, the coalition won’t survive and neither will we.”

The door opened and both Clarke and Abby jerked their attention to it.

“Hey,” Raven said, looking from one to the other. “Um…yeah. I’ll come back later—”

“No, it’s fine,” Clarke said. “The Chancellor was just leaving.”

“Clarke—” Abby said.

“I need to get ready to go.”

Abby exhaled and stared at the ceiling for a moment before she turned and left, brushing past Raven into the corridor. Raven closed the door and locked it then set her backpack on the big table.

“That went well,” she said.

Clarke leaned on the table, still angry. “Why the hell won’t she see that moving into the mountain is a really bad idea?”

“Because she’s a Chancellor from the Ark. That’s how they think.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke pushed off of the table and checked the developing scar on the heel of her right hand, where she’d drawn blood for the _kongeda_. The table edge had dug into it.

Raven took a cloth-wrapped packet out of her pack and handed it to Clarke. “A few months before I came to the ground, Mecha Station had a problem with an air pump.”

“And this has what to do with any of this?” She picked up the packet and sniffed. Dried meat and probably some more bread.

“You’ll see. Relax for a minute. Then you can go back to being your uptight Clarke self. Anyway. Mecha Station had to evac thirty people and seal it off.” She set a couple more packets on the table. “Nigel asked Jaha for a few more mechanics to come and have a look but Jaha wanted assurances that the main station could have extra cable to add more power to his sector. Kane agreed. Jaha wouldn’t help Mecha unless he got something in return. So basically, the whole unity idea is bullshit. It was everybody for themselves up there, when you get right down to it.” She shrugged and took her pack into the adjoining room, leaving Clarke staring after her, idly massaging the palm of her hand.

“So that’s why your mom takes that approach and doesn’t consider Grounders in any plan for surviving down here,” Raven said when she returned. “She basically learned it being on the council with assholes like Jaha. No offense to Wells. Wasn’t his fault his dad is one of those. And no doubt Jaha learned it from assholes before him. Arkers don’t play well together, no matter what they say about unity.” She started working on a radio she’d brought from the other room.

Clarke didn’t respond right away as she considered Raven’s words. “Kane seems willing to work with Grounders now.”

“I think he’s always sort of had the potential to be more open to things like that, once he was away from Jaha. That guy liked to pretend he was all about doing the right thing and working for unity, but from what I saw and heard, his altruistic act was just that. An act.” She looked up from the radio. “Kind of self-righteous.”

“Wells wasn’t like that.”

“I didn’t say he was. Seems he actually managed to turn out all right, but you’d know better than I would. And I’m sorry you lost him.”

She looked at her, mildly surprised that Raven would express something like that, but she was focused on the radio. “Where is Jaha, anyway?”

“Hell if I know. He bailed from here after your mom basically told him to shut the fuck up. That was when you were first trying to work with Lexa. Don't you remember? He was totally against working with her and the Grounders and wanted us to go somewhere he was calling the city of light. He said he ran into some people in the wastelands after he came to the ground and they told him about it.” She pointed her screwdriver for emphasis. “So my question about that is, if there’s a city like that out there, how come Lexa’s people haven’t packed up and headed out? They’re not idiots, after all. No more than us, anyway. I’ll tell you why. It’s a damn myth, because people like to think there’s hope in shitty circumstances.”

She was quiet for a while, thinking about Jaha and the Ark. Abby had stood up to him then.

Raven looked up at her. "Kinda funny. He was trying to be all ‘I am Chancellor again’ and she wasn’t having any of that and threw his ass in detention to give you time to see if you could work something out with Lexa for Finn.” She looked back down at the radio. "Thought you knew that last part. Maybe you were already gone to Lexa's camp."

“Then why is she acting like this about the mountain?” Clarke asked, as much to deflect the conversation from Finn, which was never a good subject between them, as to find out what else Raven would reveal about Abby’s motivations.

“My guess? Resources and safety. Which is pretty much what life on the Ark was all about. Not much of either up there. Plus, it’s easier to move into a ready-made shelter that’s up to its concrete parking garage ass with ready-made resources than it is to try to figure shit out with the people who are already down here.”

Clarke chewed her lip and watched Raven tinker. “Well, I’m not going to let anybody move into the damn mountain. It turns people into assholes.”

Raven smiled. “And if they’re already assholes, it makes them worse.” She set her screwdriver down. “Speaking of the mountain, I’m going with you.”

She raised her eyebrows, shock keeping her from speaking.

“Before you launch into your lecture about how dangerous this is and then try the ‘but we need you here’ speech, hear me out.”

From her expression, arguing was probably futile. “Okay. Why do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Because I’m the bomb brain. And I can take a look at the silo hatch and see if there’s anything we can do to disable it and keep it from opening. Or, maybe we can actually get it open and throw a couple of explosives down there, which will take out some missiles and it means your team can focus on getting our friends out of there because Emerson won’t have any more toys to threaten us with.”

She shook her head. “Who’s going to monitor communications here?”

“Relax. Do you think I’d just randomly do shit?”

Clarke gave her a look.

“Never mind. Don’t answer that. Sinclair will monitor. I already talked to him.”

Clarke sighed. “Of course you did. When?”

“Earlier today.”

“And he supports this idea?”

“Hell, no. But he also knows that we need all the expertise we can get up there. If nothing else, I can make it a little difficult for them by blowing up whatever other turbines they’ve got working, which means they’ll have to focus on getting the generators going. Good distraction, anyway, if we do that.”

“Does my mom know?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Clarke smiled. “That’s a no, then. What about Bellamy?”

“That’s where I need you on this. You have to help me convince him.”

She frowned.

“Look, he’ll listen to you. He always does. But you have to give him a good reason. And you sound more convincing than I do.”

“Oh?”

“You’re _Wanheda_ , she said with a smirk. “You can get anybody to do practically anything.”

“Not sure about _that_. But whatever. Are you sure about _this_?”

Raven held her gaze for a long moment and Clarke realized that it was about more than just bombs and expertise for her. It was about something deeper, something she needed to confront and deal with. She understood what that meant, in terms of the mountain.

“Okay,” Clarke said. “Let’s figure out what to say.”

A knock sounded at the door. “It’s Bellamy,” came his voice from the corridor.

“Too late,” Raven said. “We’re doing this now.” She got up and opened the door, and he walked in with Lincoln, Octavia, Wash, and Sinclair.

“Hey,” he said. “Miller and Gina will be here soon.”

Clarke exchanged a glance with Raven, who gave her a shrug and went to lock the door.

“Have we heard from Polis?” Bellamy asked.

“No,” Clarke said. “If something were urgent, Kane would let us know. What about Indra?”

“She has warriors in place,” Wash said. “Mora waits with two others for Gina. They will meet another scout east of Arkadia. _Trikru_ warriors are causing confusion in the forests to distract _Azgeda_.” He grinned.

“Indra will meet us at the drop ship.” Octavia pointed at the map, which was news to Clarke, but she was glad that Indra was going to be there.

“So,” Octavia continued, “We need to be careful on the approach, because she said that _Azgeda_ has been checking it. But she’ll be able to take care of any if they show up before us.”

“And after. We don’t want anybody following us.” Bellamy put his hands on his hips and studied the map. Clarke glanced at Raven again, who shook her head and glanced at the door, and Clarke guessed she wanted everybody present.

“How’s the council with Miller as head Guard?”

“Fine,” Sinclair said. “Everybody knows him and his father, and they’re liked. No issues from the Guard that I can tell. But Bellamy’s in a better position to determine if there are.”

“Not since Sanders left. He wasn’t Mr. Popularity.” They all looked at the door when another knock sounded.

“It’s Miller.”

“Speaking of,” Raven muttered as she went to answer it. He and Gina came in and joined the group by the big table.

“Okay,” Bellamy said. “This is where we do our finalizing. Once we’re done here, we’re heading out. Gina will go first with Wash and Lincoln. Those of us going to the mountain will wait a bit before we leave. Raven will go with the first party to let them through the fence. She’ll come back and get the rest of us. Gina and I will have radios and we can communicate with each other, Kane, and Raven. Gina, I recommend you not use your radio unless it’s an emergency. There’s a lot of Ice Nation out there.” He looked at Sinclair. “Is the Chancellor up on everything?”

“Yes. She and I met earlier today. If anything needs changing, now’s the time to do it and I’ll let her know.”

Clarke stared hard at Raven.

“And that seems like a good segue. I’m going with you,” Raven said.

Everybody fell silent and Clarke looked at Bellamy, whose expression had gone immediately into a scowl.

“No,” he said. “Not possible.”

Raven glared at him. “I’ve done it before. Hello, who set the explosives at the dam the last time?”

“That was different,” he said, and Clarke recognized his “prove it” tone. No one else spoke.

“Oh, please,” Raven said, and all gazes shifted to her. “How? Same damn busted-up leg, same damn mountain, slightly different group of assholes to deal with.”

Clarke looked at Octavia, who was watching the exchange with interest. Bellamy was going into his overprotective mode, and it would invariably cause more tension.

“Then who’s going to take care of the radio here?” Bellamy shot back in a way that offered no room for argument.

“Sinclair,” she said. “Not like he hasn’t done it before. I already gave him a radio and we already talked about this.”

Sinclair gave Raven an encouraging smile.

“How long have you been thinking about coming?” Octavia asked.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because if you had brought it up earlier, we could have figured things out earlier.”

“Okay, fair point. I guess last night I decided it might be a good idea. So I talked to Sinclair. He’s the one who helped develop the long-range radio units, so he can fix the one on his end if something goes wrong. Plus, he’s on the council and can go directly to Abby all the time without anybody thinking it’s weird.” She glanced over at him then back at Clarke.

“That’s a good point,” Clarke said and Bellamy sighed with obvious frustration. “And she did go to the mountain before and set the explosives, even in her brace,” she added.

“Are you in on this?” Bellamy asked Sinclair.

“If I was any good at explosives, I would be going with you. But Raven’s a genius with them and you need her. I hate that she wants to go. You have no idea. But she’s also the best person for this job.”

“Plus, I want to get a look at the silo hatch,” Raven said, “and see if there’s anything we can do to access it from the outside. Because if we can, then we don’t necessarily have to go into the mountain to get rid of the missiles. I mean, we have to go in anyway to get our people, but if we can take the missiles out from the outside, that’s one less thing you have to worry about while you’re in there.”

“Perhaps she can help us set other traps with the explosives,” Lincoln said and Bellamy shot him a glare, too.

“Why, yes,” Raven said. “Yes, I can. I’m pretty good with things like that.”

Gina smiled as Raven got up and retrieved something from one of her shelves. She set it on the table, away from any of the other things she was working on. “This is my latest.”

Clarke leaned over to look at the object, which was a small metal cylinder that would fit easily in her palm. It looked like part of a metal pipe with caps. “What is it?”

“My smallest mine yet. But it does other things, too.”

Everybody took a step back from the table and Raven grinned. “Don’t worry. It doesn’t work unless you pull this out—” she picked it up and pointed to a small knob on the bottom, “and then I bury it and it explodes when pressure is applied. So basically, if you step on it, boom. And the pin requires that you turn it a full three-sixty before you can pull it out. So you can transport it without worrying that you activate it.”

“It’s pretty ingenious.” Sinclair took it from Raven and hefted it in his hand.

“How many of these do you have?” Clarke asked.

“Ten. They also function as grenades. Take the pin out and throw it, and it’ll explode when it contacts the ground or something else. Plus, I have a few standard mines. And the same kind of explosives I used on the dam the last time. Those you can take inside and rig on the missiles if we have to do that, which is why I gave them to you. They’re lightweight and easy to mount and set.”

Gina gave her a wry smile then looked at Bellamy. “I’d say she just talked herself into a job. Not that I’m happy about it because I worry when Raven is running loose—”

“It’s okay. Clarke will protect everyone from me,” Raven shot back.

“No, Commander Crazy,” Gina said with obvious warmth. “I worry about _you_. I’d like to keep you around.”

Raven didn’t seem to have a response to that and Clarke hid a smile. Raven never knew what to do when people expressed affection for her. Gina was testing Raven’s comfort zone, and she approved. Bellamy muttered something that Clarke didn’t hear but Octavia, who stood next to him, smirked. Sinclair smiled and put the mini-mine back on the table.

“I can do this,” Raven said to Bellamy after shooting an enigmatic glance at Gina.

Octavia nodded. “She can. Stop thinking everybody needs you to protect them,” she said to Bellamy. “It’s her choice, and we need her expertise.”

“Well, from my experience, you _do_ need my protection sometimes,” he snapped.

“You need to quit telling people they need it and let them make their own decisions about it.”

He opened his mouth to say something else but Clarke interrupted.

“If Raven didn’t think she was up to it, she wouldn’t suggest it. And I’d like a little more explosives expertise on this run. That is, after all, a major point of what we’re doing.”

“Thank you, Clarke,” Raven said with a vehement nod. She glanced around at the others. “ _Wanheda_ has spoken. I’m coming with you and making sure shit blows up in the best possible way.”

Lincoln smiled, which got him another glare from Bellamy.

Sinclair cleared his throat. “I’ll have a radio on me at all times. Abby has already worked with the council on making people think that Bellamy is out on extended patrol and working with Indra. Miller’s got the Guard under control and he’s arranged a security set-up for the next two hours that gives you clearance to leave Arkadia with a minimal chance of being seen.”

“Thanks,” Bellamy said to Miller.

“Yeah. I wish I was going with you, but I get it.” He shrugged. “Just bring them back.”

“We plan to. So how does shit work now with this new aspect to the plan?” Bellamy asked, crossing his arms. He didn’t look pleased, but Clarke knew he was already leaning toward Raven’s decision. “We clearly have to make some adjustments.”

“We’ll have two teams headed for the mountain instead of one.” Clarke pointed at the map on the table. “How about this? Lincoln and Wash will take Gina into the forest to Mora and the other _Trikru_ scouts. Bellamy, Octavia, and I will be on one team—we’ll call it team one—headed for the mountain. We’re still the team to go into the tunnels. But now with Raven, Lincoln, and Wash as team two, they can go to the silo with her and assess. Lexa said that she has warriors stationed near the dam, and Indra will be in touch with all of us. So we basically have backup all around the mountain.”

Bellamy frowned. “Sounds doable,” he admitted, in spite of his expression. “Do you want to stagger the teams?”

“Seems Gina should still go first and then the rest of us will follow a little later. Might be better to leave that way so we don’t have three groups. We’ll keep it at two, like originally planned.”

He nodded.

“Indra will have more information for us when we get to the drop ship.” Clarke estimated how long it would take them to get there from Arkadia in the dark, dodging _Azgeda_ scouts. Probably an extra hour or two, though she knew there would be _Trikru_ in the forest running interference for them. Still, anything could go wrong.

“And I’ll hopefully be causing some confusion here,” Gina said, pointing at the area east of the mountain’s main entrance.

Lincoln leaned in and placed his finger on the map, southeast of the main entrance to the mountain. “Nia is positioned here.” He looked at Gina. “Try to stay at least a mile away from her encampment. Farther if you can.”

“Mora and a few other _Trikru_ will be with her.” Octavia glanced at Clarke for confirmation, and she nodded. “Mora is one of Lexa’s best,” Octavia continued, “and Indra will send a couple of her good ones, so I think they’ll be able to keep Gina out of trouble.”

“All you need to do is be seen by the mountain,” Clarke said. “They’ll be watching for you—well, me—so take a route that puts you in their line of sight but also makes it look like you’re being careful. Mora’s good at that. She’ll know.”

Gina laughed. “Be obvious but not. Got it.”

“Timeline still the same?” Bellamy asked.

“For the most part.” Clarke looked at Sinclair. “Emerson gave five days, which is, as we all know, about three days from now. It’ll take us part of that to get into position at the mountain.” She turned her attention to Raven, but didn’t have to voice her question.

“Yeah. I can manage. I did the last time.”

“Okay.” She didn’t push her further on that since Raven was sensitive about her leg. “I want to go in early, because I don’t think Emerson will be expecting that, especially when they see Gina working her way toward the mountain. As for Sanders and Pike—well, we’re going to have to figure that out when we get there. You know the air shafts,” she said to Bellamy. “We can use them to our advantage.” She held his gaze, wanting him to see that she trusted his judgment. “Once we’re there, you’re the navigator. You’re the one who spent the most time able to move around relatively freely. I know some of it, but you’re more the expert.”

He nodded, expression grim, now.

“We may not be able to communicate via radio once you’re inside the mountain,” Sinclair said.

“Yeah, we know.” Bellamy scowled.

“But we may be able to communicate with Raven.” Clarke glanced at her. “Or we can figure out a patch like we did the last time. The plan is, if we lose contact, team one’s primary objective is to locate our people and disable the missile system. Raven, on team two, knows our timeline, and she knows when to expect that to happen. We have to be out of the mountain as close to that time as possible. It’s up to her to see what she can do to buy us some time.”

Sinclair frowned. “What about the people in there who followed Pike and Sanders, if you have to blow the silo and the missiles?”

“We’ll warn them if we can,” Clarke said. “But they’re no longer Sky Crew. They’re on their own.” The statement was harsh, she knew, but they were _natrona_ , and there was no place for them in the _kongeda_ , and certainly not among a culture that both Pike and Sanders loathed.

Nobody said anything, absorbing the finality of her statement. Sinclair seemed to want to, but didn’t.

“Our primary mission is to disable the missile system.” Bellamy said, backing her up. “And getting to Emerson, which will then give us time to free our friends. If, however, we have an opportunity to get to them first, we’ll do it, and they’ll help us disable the weapons system. Clarke’s right about the Pike and Sanders contingent. We’ll do what we can, but our priorities are with our friends and disabling the weapons system.”

“Work on getting to them first, especially Monty.”

Everybody looked at Raven.

“He’s the guy who’s hacked that system before. I don’t know if Emerson remembers that or even knew about it, but if Monty has any opportunity, he can make a mess of things.”

“So maybe we should free them first,” Bellamy said. “And Monty can bring the system down.”

Clarke chewed her lower lip, glad that nobody voiced what all of them were probably thinking—if he was still alive. She stared at the map of Mt. Weather. He had to be. Emerson would keep the hostages alive until she was there to witness what he wanted to do. “We don’t know where they’re being held, so what we need to do when we get in is to find out where everybody is so we can plan from there. And there’s no guarantee that Monty can do it. Emerson may have programmed something into the system that’ll fire the missiles if someone tries to hack in. That’s why we need to blow them up, too.”

“I’m with Clarke.” Raven picked up the mini-mine. “We have to be sure that even if Emerson did something to the system, it won’t matter because there won’t be missiles to launch.”

No one said anything for a while, and Clarke felt the crushing weight of the mountain among them. Strange how it brought them together, too.

“All right. We’ve demonstrated that we’re pretty good at making shit up as we go along, and that it works,” Bellamy said. “For the most part,” he amended, and Clarke smiled as others laughed softly, which relieved tension. “We’ve got radios, we’ve got Commander Crazy—” more laughter helped alleviated even more tension, “and we’ve got Lexa’s forces. I’d say we’re actually in a better position than the last time we did this. So let’s get moving. Be ready in an hour.”

“I can let Gina out and the teams,” Sinclair said. “Where’s the fence jammer?”

Raven took something out of her pocket and handed it to him. “You sure?”

“People see me sometimes at night checking on things. It won’t look strange.”

“Good.” Bellamy gave him an approving nod. “Let’s get ready.”

Octavia and Lincoln left with Wash and Miller, but Gina stayed to talk with Raven. Clarke went to Bellamy’s side of the table, where Sinclair stood, as well. “You think we might be pushing our luck?” Bellamy asked and she saw concern in his eyes, but also confidence that they could do this and she knew that if they stuck together, as they had in the past, they had a good shot at getting through. She needed that from him, that he still believed in her, and in the bonds that they all shared.

“Every day we do that. And I’m not going to stand by while a bunch of assholes in the mountain dictate what we do.”

He stared down at the map, then back at her. “All right. Let’s fucking do this,” he said with an almost feral grin.

She grinned back and gave him a light punch on the shoulder. “You can brief the Chancellor when you see her,” she said to Sinclair. “And please stick with the plan to evacuate.”

“I will. On both counts.”

She thought about her earlier conversation with Abby. “Tell her we’ve got this.”

He smiled, but it was strained. “Seems we just had to deal with this crap.” He shook his head. “Nothing’s ever simple, is it?” He gave Clarke’s shoulder a squeeze. “Good luck.”

“Tell my mom I’ll see her soon.” Clarke swallowed around the lump in her throat, hoping it was true, as crazy as Abby could make her.

“Yeah.” He looked at Bellamy. “Good luck.” He turned to Raven and gave her a quick hug. “Make me proud.”

“Always.”

He left, tossing a wave at everyone as he closed the door.

“Okay. See you in a bit,” Bellamy said.

Clarke followed him and locked the door after he left. “Lincoln will be here soon,” she said as she returned to the table and folded the map of the Mt. Weather vicinity.

Gina nodded. “I’m ready.” She gestured at her pack, which rested against the wall a few steps behind her.

“Do you want to take one with you?” Raven held up the mini-mine.

“I think I do.”

Raven handed her the one she was holding. “You can carry it in your pocket. Really. It won’t explode unless it’s activated.”

She stared at it, resting in the palm of her hand.

“Here’s the activator.” Raven pointed at the knob on the bottom. “It needs a full turn. Then you pull it out. The knob is attached to a pin that activates it as you pull it out. Then you throw it. If you’re going to bury it, I recommend digging the hole first.”

“How much pressure do you need to set it off?”

“At least three pounds. So you can cover it with some dirt and it won’t blow. Ideally.”

Gina’s eyes widened and she froze.

“There’s always a small chance that it’ll fuck up. Most of the time, that means it’s a dud and won’t activate and thus won’t explode.”

“Um.”

“I wouldn’t give this to you if I thought it wasn’t going to work properly. I mean, I generally try not to blow people up that I actually like.”

“Do you want to take a gun, too?” Clarke asked.

“Probably not a good idea,” Gina said. “I only just started learning how to use them.” Her hand was still open, the mini-mine resting in it.

“You can put it away,” Raven said, and she closed Gina’s fingers over it. She smiled and went into the adjoining room. Gina put the mini-mine into her belt pouch then reached over and gripped Clarke’s arm.

“Keep her safe,” she said. “Please.”

Clarke looked down at Gina’s hand, then at her face. “Nothing about this is safe, but we will do everything we can to bring everybody back alive.”

She nodded and let go. “She grows on you, y’know?” she said softly with a glance toward the other room. “A lot of bravado, but a lot of heart, too.”

“She’s been through a lot. But I think maybe she needs to do this.”

“Yeah. She does.”

Clarke heard Raven moving around in the next room. “You be careful, too. Raven would kill me if you didn’t come back.”

“Oh?” Gina raised her eyebrows, but she was smiling.

“She likes you. And she trusts you.”

“Trusts who?” Raven asked as she appeared in the doorway to the other room with her pack.

“Me,” Gina said. “Clarke seems to think you’re okay with me.”

“Oh. Yeah, you’re all right. In an annoying, concerned kind of way.” But she was smiling, and she looked anywhere but at Gina as she came to the table and set her pack on it. “Ready.”

“You’ve been ready for a while, haven’t you?” Clarke gestured at the pack.

“I was born ready,” she said, affecting a breezy air.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” Raven asked as she approached.

“It’s Lincoln.”

She opened the door and he entered with Wash.

Gina stood and grabbed her pack. “That’s my cue.” She pinned Clarke with a gaze. “Good luck.”

“You, too. Do you have your radio?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for doing this.”

“Oh, sure. No problem.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want assholes in the mountain anymore, either.” She turned to Raven. “Okay, Commander Crazy. Promise you won’t do anything stupid.”

Raven gave her a look. “This whole thing is stupid.”

She chuckled. “Well, there’s that. Pretty sure you know what I mean, though.”

“Yeah. Same to you.”

Gina pulled her into a hug. “Don’t make me kick your ass if something happens to you.”

Raven hugged her back, though she seemed a little surprised at the affection. “That’s sort of illogical—”

“Shut up, Reyes. Accept the fact that I like you and I worry about you.” And then she placed a soft kiss on Raven’s cheek. She pulled away after a couple of seconds. “Let’s go,” she said to Lincoln as she moved toward the door, leaving a completely stunned Raven in her wake.

Lincoln’s expression was unreadable, but Wash smiled. Lincoln shut the door behind them and Clarke locked it, since Raven was still out of commission, staring at it. Clarke bit her lip to keep from smiling as she put the map in her pack then slung it over her shoulder. It wasn’t often that Raven was left speechless.

“ _Kokenheda_ ,”1 Clarke said when she returned to the table.

“Huh?”

“Commander Crazy. Which is about how you look right now.”

“Shut up,” she muttered, a flush flaring across her face.

“She’s a good person. And she cares about you. I applaud you being crazy over her.”

“Who said anything about that? We’re friends.”

“Oh, right. Except I’m pretty sure my friends don’t kiss me like that and make me blush.”

Raven opened her mouth to say something, then clamped it shut again.

“Huh. No argument about that?”

“Quit being so juvenile, Griffin.”

She fought a laugh. “Did you put some water in your pack?” She looked at her, innocent. “Next to the land mines?”

Raven shot her a glare just as another knock sounded on the door.

“It’s Bellamy.”

“And that’s _our_ cue. C’mon, _kokenheda_. Make sure you have your cloak-thing.” She gestured at the hooks near the door where Lincoln had hung Grounder-style cloaks for everyone. There were two left.

“Just shut up,” she said as Clarke opened the door.

“Hey.” Bellamy gestured down the corridor behind him. “Lincoln and Wash are waiting for Raven. Gina’s all set.”

“Okay,” Clarke said as she grabbed her cloak and handed one to Raven. “When we get to the trees, don’t talk. _Azgeda_ is everywhere.”

He gave her a mock salute. “And we’re clear on radio use? Like last time.”

“Yes.” Clarke looked at Raven. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s do this.” Bellamy motioned them to follow.

Raven shut the lights off and closed and locked the door behind them. Clarke brought up the rear as they quietly walked out of the building into the chilly night air. As they hugged the darkest shadows along the fence, working their way to the back of Arkadia, Clarke clenched her teeth. They were in a slightly better position than the last time they went to the mountain, but no matter how many of Lexa’s forces were positioned around it, only one missile was needed to end Polis or Arkadia. They had to stop the mountain. For good. There was no other way.

At the fence, Raven shut the current off. “Thirty seconds,” she whispered, and Bellamy went through first. Clarke helped Raven squeeze through, Bellamy pulling her through on his side. She handed Raven’s pack through, then hers, then slid between the wires. A few seconds later the fence hummed with current again. The three of them hunkered low and waited for the lights to swing a certain way and then they bolted for the forest in the temporary darkness, Raven supported between Clarke and Bellamy.

They plunged into the trees and crouched, breathing heavily. After a few moments, her eyes adjusted to the dark. Octavia appeared, nearly silent, and held a finger to her lips. She gestured behind her and signaled for them to stay low. Lincoln and Wash waited a few meters away.

Clarke gave Raven a hug. “Be careful,” she whispered in her ear.

Octavia hung on to Lincoln for a few moments, then kissed him. Wash gripped Clarke’s forearm and nodded at her. Then he and Lincoln turned away, Raven between them. Octavia and Bellamy stayed still, so Clarke did, too. It seemed they were there for hours when it was actually only a few minutes, and then Octavia nodded. They all put their cloaks on and started making their way through the forest, toward the drop ship.

Clarke knew this trip well, but she was careful with how she placed her feet. She knew there were a few _Trikru_ in the vicinity who were working to distract any _Azgeda_ , but the three of them took no chances and moved quietly, stopping every thirty seconds or so to listen. She wondered if the call of the nightbird she heard a few times was _Trikru_ and she remembered her first days on the ground, and the realization that there were people in the forest, people who moved among the trees as quietly as the animals they hunted.

Back then, she dreaded that knowledge, the sense of being hunted and watched. Now, she embraced the surveillance, because of how much had changed. Thoughts of Lexa filled her mind, as they often did, and Clarke focused on those, and on memories of Polis. Because as dangerous as this mission was, she wanted to make even more memories, wanted to spend more than a few hours here and there with Lexa. She wasn’t sure how that would work, or even if it should, but she didn’t care. Lexa was one of her people, now, and that added even more incentive to completing this mission. Hope, she decided, was worth the energy expended on it.

Another nightbird call sounded, closer than the last. They waited, not moving, barely breathing, until an owl’s hoot. That must’ve been an all-clear, because Octavia started walking again, as quiet as _Trikru_. Clarke sank into the rhythm of this journey, so much like the last time she’d left Arkadia, watching Octavia in front, sensing Bellamy behind her. Like old times, maybe, though so much else had changed. She forced herself to relax and focus on the sounds around them and Octavia’s route through the forest. One thing at a time. Right now, this was where she was and what she needed to be doing. Things would change soon enough, she knew. She just hoped they were prepared.

  
1 _Kokenheda_ *: literally, “Commander Crazy.” _Koken_ means “crazy” and _heda_ , of course, is leader/commander. This is another of Clarke’s play on Trigedasleng words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all! I'm posting one chapter today; it's a little longer than usual, but as you know I've been on the road, like, 15 of the past 26 days and I haven't had the time I'd like to clean up the next ones and make them prettier. But fortunately I had this slightly longer chapter ready. Don't worry, hopefully 2 chapters next Friday. If the world hasn't ended...
> 
> Some #princessmechanic here, but as you saw, I'm flirting with a little somethin' between Raven and Gina. Hope you dig it! And yes, I took a little liberty with canon in terms of the sequence of events Raven talks about with regard to 
> 
> THANKS SO MUCH for the comments and kudos. I try to respond to the former ASAP; I always appreciate the time you take to leave them. And thanks for joining me on this journey.
> 
> A couple of tunes that accompanied the writing of this chapter: Broods, "Free"; Ryn Weaver, "Promises"


	44. The Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her kru meet up with Indra at the drop ship then continue on into the dreaded Mt. Weather.

Clarke hunkered between Octavia and Bellamy and studied the drop ship, about a hundred feet distant, through the trees. The sun had risen an hour ago, but the sky was overcast and threatening rain, which Clarke appreciated, since rain might provide extra cover. They’d been crouching in the underbrush for a while, watching, but nothing stirred near the drop ship or around it.

How far they’d come from here, in so many ways. She hadn’t seen it in weeks, and already the forest was working to reclaim its space, as vines were already snaking their way up the sides of it and weeds sprouted amidst the skeletal remains of Grounders scattered in the dirt and ash around the clearing. The tarp over the entrance moved with the breeze, lending an almost forlorn and lonely visual, and it was as if it had been abandoned, even by the ghosts of those whose bones remained.

“Looks clear,” Bellamy said in a low voice.

“Wait.” Octavia reached over Clarke to grip his forearm and she pointed toward a spot across the clearing from them. “Something’s there.”

Clarke’s stomach clenched with tension then relaxed as a deer stepped cautiously into vision. It moved carefully past the drop ship, unhurried, nibbling at patches of weeds. Clarke guessed that since it didn’t seem concerned that nobody else was in the vicinity.

Octavia nodded at them both and gestured toward her right.

They carefully worked their way through the underbrush, staying low. The deer heard them and jerked its head up, listening, then bounded out of the clearing. Once they reached the back of the drop ship, Octavia stopped and, to Clarke’s surprise, whistled a bird call that she wouldn’t have been able to tell from the actual bird.

A few seconds later, an answering call sounded, and Clarke gauged it about two hundred yards away. They stayed silent for a few more moments and Octavia bird-called again. The answering call was closer this time but Octavia didn’t respond and instead motioned for them to crouch. “Wait here,” she said softly, and melted into the forest. Clarke glanced at Bellamy, who stared after her, hand on the butt of his pistol.

Soft laughter and voices floated toward them and she chafed at staying hidden. Bellamy started to stand, but Clarke dragged him back down. And then Octavia was back, motioning for them to come with her.

“Indra says the area is currently clear of _Azgeda_ ,” she said with a smile. “But don’t talk too loud.”

Clarke followed her a few dozen feet where Indra stood within a cluster of trees. She nodded at Clarke. Six warriors stood behind her, including Tam, who smiled at her.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Indra said, “it has been a while.” She wore trousers the color of wet soil, and a dark green cloak over her shirt and leather chest protector, though Clarke could see the hilts of her sword and knives at her belt. As hard as it had been for Indra to come around to _Skaikru_ and Clarke personally, Clarke was never so glad to see her, and no matter what Indra’s personal feelings were with regard to a particular situation, she would remain loyal to Lexa and her decisions.

“ _Sha_ , _Indra kom Trikru_. _Mochof ste sis osir au_.” 1

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and actually smiled. “ _Heda_ has told me what you last spoke about with her. Warriors are moving into position as she requested and discussed with you. She left Polis at first light.”

The thought of Lexa on her way to the mountain made Clarke both relieved but also worried, because memories of the last time the two of them were at Mt. Weather still haunted her, in spite of what had happened between them. She glanced at Tam, who had probably brought the latest news from Polis, and most likely had ridden through part of the night.

“I will send you to the mountain with three scouts,” Indra said. “They will guide you and ensure your safety.”

“ _Mochof_.” Clarke offered her an answering smile and Indra cocked her head.

“I was not fully convinced of _Skaikru_ ’s motivations when _Heda_ informed me that she thought it in our interests as well as yours to seek an alliance.” She crossed her arms and a familiar formidable expression crossed her features. “But I serve _Heda_ , and she has shown me many times that she is worthy of my service.”

Clarke waited for her to continue and Octavia shot Bellamy a look designed to keep him quiet, too.

“There are those among _Skaikru_ that seek to destroy my people, but there are those among mine that seek to destroy yours.”

Bellamy tensed.

“Despite this, you continued to seek an alliance, and now you return to the mountain to bring an end once again to something that threatens us all.”

Clarke almost held her breath.

“I have decided, therefore, that _Skaikru_ ’s motivations matter less than yours, which I have come to believe serve _Heda_ as well as _Skaikru_ ’s.”

From her inflection, she had finished and Clarke relaxed a little. It helped matters immensely if she was willing to work with her.

“It is perhaps best that you leave now,” Indra announced.

“ _Indra_ , _noda kru gyon au raun Maun-de_ ,”2 Octavia said. “ _Reivin kom Skaikru_ , Lincoln, _en_ Wash.”

She frowned. “ _Chomouda_?” 3

“ _Reivin kom Skaikru_ _get bom klin_ ,”4 Clarke said. “She’ll try to stop the missiles from the top of the mountain, near the launch silo. She may try to blow up the power generators at the dam, as well.”

“She will not go into the mountain?”

“No,” Octavia said. “She has a radio and will tell us what she finds. She will also try to use explosives as traps for _Azgeda_.”

“Which way does this _kru_ travel?”

Octavia took a map of the area out of her pack. Clarke held it open as Octavia pointed to the route that Raven would be taking, around the back of the mountain.

“I will send a scout to find them and another to alert _Kris kom Trishana_ , who is positioned here.” She tapped the area behind the dam.

“ _Mochof_.” Clarke handed the map back to Octavia.

“What of the woman who looks like _Wanheda_?” Indra directed her full attention to Clarke, the flat intensity of her gaze seeming to probe her inner thoughts.

“She went east a few hours before first light, with your scouts and Mora. She’ll turn toward the mountain some time today.” Clarke managed to hold her gaze and Indra nodded.

“Nia is consolidating her forces north around Arkadia,” she said. “If Emerson sends a missile there and weakens it, she appears ready to engage.”

“How many?” Clarke asked, new tension gripping her chest.

“Fifty. Perhaps fewer. Do not worry. They are watched, though they do not realize it. My warriors are prepared to deal with such an attack, should it come.”

Clarke glanced at Bellamy and his expression indicated that he might be thinking the same thing she was, that Emerson was indeed going to bomb Arkadia regardless and that Nia knew about it and was waiting to mop up. But why she wanted Arkadia Clarke wasn’t sure. Perhaps as a symbol? To leverage Lexa? She looked back at Indra.

“What instructions do you have for us?” she asked.

“Trust my scouts,” she said, and there might have been amusement in her eyes.

“As long as they don’t get us into trouble.”

Clarke shot Bellamy a warning glare and he shrugged. Indra ignored him.

“The _natrona_ and _splita_ use their tech to watch those who approach the mountain, but my scouts know a way that will allow you to avoid that. You can reach the tunnel we discussed this way. Bil—” she motioned at one of her warriors, who stood about Bellamy’s height and looked like he wasn’t much older, “has been in this tunnel and followed it to the end. He will accompany you. The others will watch the entrance.”

“All right,” Clarke said, looking at him. His sharp features and reddish-brown hair reminded her of a fox. The fur-trimmed cloak he wore only accentuated the comparison. “Then we’ll head out.”

“Hold on,” Octavia said. “Let me talk to Indra for a minute.” She looked at Indra for confirmation, and when Indra gestured her aside, she moved closer and spoke with her in a low tone, a mixture of Trigedasleng and English. Clarke could make out a few words, and it sounded like she was talking about the route up the mountain.

“What do you think?” Bellamy asked.

Before Clarke answered, Octavia called them both over.

“Indra will send Tam today to find Lexa,” she said. “She’ll let her know that you’ll be at the mountain later today and also that Raven is going. We should also try to get a radio call to Sinclair before we go in. He can alert Raven and Kane, so we only need to make the one. Tam may find Lexa before Sinclair can contact Kane, so at least she’ll know what’s happening.”

“We’ll also be able to see what the conditions are there and let everybody know.” Clarke glanced at Bellamy and from his expression, he agreed.

“You’ll have scouts waiting at the tunnel?” he asked Indra. “Because if we need a way to get a message to you, that might be the only way we can.”

“Yes.”

Clarke appreciated Indra’s calm, but she knew anything could go wrong, even with the best plans in place.

Indra turned to her warriors and addressed them in Trigedasleng. Bellamy crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby tree, watching them as they quietly talked among themselves. Tam nodded at Indra then approached Clarke.

“I bring you a message from _Heda_ ,” she said, and Clarke fought not to show the surge of emotion her words stirred. She took a couple more steps away from Bellamy, who continued to watch Indra’s other warriors while he talked with Octavia.

“When did you see her?” Clarke asked, hoping she didn’t sound too eager.

“Not many hours ago. She wants you to know that she is well, but she worries about both _Wanheda_ and _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

Clarke’s unease about what happened between them the last time they were both at the mountain dissolved.

“She also wishes you to know that there is always a place for you in Polis, but it will require more knife-throwing lessons. She assured me you would know what that means.”

Clarke smiled. “That invitation is one I won’t refuse, and I definitely require several more lessons.” A pleasant spark traveled down her spine at memories of the one she’d already had.

“I will tell her,” Tam said. “It seems that _Heda_ enjoys them very much.” She smiled and extended her hand. “Good luck, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

She gripped her forearm and nodded, and when Tam returned to the group of warriors, it occurred to her that she wasn’t sure whether Tam had been wishing her luck with regard to the mountain or Lexa. She caught Tam’s eye again, and from her expression and sly smile, it was probably both.

Had she been that obvious about her feelings for Lexa? Hopefully, Tam was just more perceptive than most and no one else suspected. Regardless, she wanted nothing more than to blow the hell out of the mountain and go back to Polis where she would make sure that the Commander of the thirteen clans had nothing beyond Clarke to disturb her for a while.

“Ready?” Octavia asked as she approached.

“Not like we have a choice,” Bellamy said. He pushed off from the tree. “Who’s going with us, besides Bil?”

“Arch and Lodin.” At Indra’s tone, two warriors stepped forward. One was a mountain of a man, the left side of his face fully covered with tattoos. Like many Grounder men, he was heavily bearded. He carried knives, sword, and an ax strapped across his back. The other warrior was a tall, wiry woman whose blond hair and build reminded Clarke of Niylah. She was armed with knives and a short sword. A bow and a quiver of arrows were slung across her back, and Clarke was glad that Indra was sending an archer. She nodded at them both.

“That’s Arch,” Octavia said, pointing at the man. “And this is Lodin. Ready?” She looked at Clarke.

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go.”

Indra held Clarke’s gaze. “May you succeed.”

She nodded back and Lodin motioned for them to follow her and with that, they started single-file toward the mountain, just as a light rain began to fall. She put the hood of her cloak up, trying not to think about what lay ahead of them but failing.

  
1 _Sha_ , _Indra kom Trikru. Mochof ste sis osir au_ : Yes, Indra of/from _Trikru_. Thank you for helping us (excludes the listener).  
2 _Indra_ , _noda kru gyon au raun Maun-de_ … _Reivin kom Skaikru_ , Lincoln, _en_ Wash: Indra, another group is going to the mountain…Raven of/from _Skaikru_ , Lincoln, and Wash.  
3 _Chomouda_? Why?  
4 _Reivin kom Skaikru_ _get bom_ * _klin_ : Raven of/from _Skaikru_ knows explosives. (“bom” is my term for explosives, since Peterson doesn’t appear to have a term for bombs/explosives. “Bom” seems to work, since it sounds like “bomb” but also is a play on “boom.”)

###

Bellamy took the radio out of his pack and turned it on. It crackled to life and he hunched over it, protecting it from the rain.

Clarke crouched next to him while the rest of the party kept watch.

“Team one to base,” Bellamy said in a low voice. “Do you copy?”

The radio hissed. He tried again, with the same response.

“Is the weather interfering?” Clarke asked.

“Maybe. Team one to base. Do you copy?”

Nothing. He caught Clarke’s eye and shook his head.

“We’ll try again in a bit,” she said, voice barely above a whisper, but knew that the closer they got to the mountain, the less likely they would be able to take that chance.

“Base to team one.” Sinclair’s voice sounded distant and tinny, but he was audible.

Bellamy turned the volume down a little.

“Base to team one, what’s your status?”

“Rendezvous completed. We are nearing the target, over.”

“Copy that. Team two is a mile from target.”

Clarke exhaled in relief. Raven was still okay.

“Status on lone operator?” Bellamy asked.

“Ten miles east.”

She nodded. Gina was still in play.

“Copy that. We’ll update as we can. Pass the word. Out.” He shut the radio off and looked at Clarke. “Guess we’re still okay.” He put the radio back in his pack.

Lodin clicked her tongue against her teeth and gestured for everyone to crouch. In one soundless motion she nocked an arrow and stood near a tree, motionless. Clarke listened, but all she heard was the patter of raindrops on leaves and her own heartbeat in her ears. Octavia was staring hard in the same direction Lodin was and both Arch and Bil drew their knives.

Then Clarke heard the scuff of a boot on wet earth, a soft grunt, and then a curse in English. Whoever it was couldn’t have been more than twenty feet away.

“Fuck this forest,” a man’s voice said. “What the hell does Pike think is out here besides Nia’s damn Grounders? Not like anybody can get inside.”

“No, but they might try to. So shut up and help me find the damn camera.”

Clarke put her arm on Lodin’s and shook her head. She motioned to follow them. They waited a few seconds then tailed the two men, who weren’t making much effort to hide their passage. Even Clarke and Bellamy, who hadn’t been born to the ground and hadn’t spent much time in the forests with _Trikru_ like Octavia had, made far less noise than these two. She could hear everything they said, too.

“It’s somewhere around here,” one of them said.

“Well, fuck Emerson and his obsession with video feeds.”

The first man grunted a laugh as he pushed some underbrush aside. “Found it. And here’s the problem.”

Clarke shifted so she could see through the underbrush what they were doing. One of the men held up a frayed wire.

“None of the cameras work on this side,” the first man said. “Why the hell are we taking inventory now?”

That explained why it was easier to approach the tunnels on this flank of the mountain.

“Security.”

“From who? Stupid waste of time.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes and shook his head. Clarke watched the two men wrestling with something in the underbrush. They were dressed in the uniforms of the Mountain Man Guard and Clarke swallowed, battling a sudden wave of anxiety and nausea. Bellamy put his hand on her arm and squeezed, and it helped anchor her.

“Can’t get the damn thing out of its housing. Rusted shut. We’ll need to deal with this another day.”

“Good. I hate this weather. Let’s go.”

They started back in the direction they had come when an arrow sliced through the trees and sank with a meaty thunk into the back of the man who hated the weather.

The three _Trikru_ warriors were in motion instantly, speeding deeper into the forest. The man who had been shot grunted and twisted, trying to reach the arrow while his companion started running away from him. Another arrow caught him in the neck and he fell, yelling in pain. The first man collapsed as well. Bellamy drew his pistol and Octavia had her knife and short sword out.

Bil returned a few moments later. “ _Azgeda_ ,” he said. “Two. Arch is checking.”

Clarke could just see Lodin bending over the first man who had been shot. She jogged over. He still breathed, but it was faint wheezing.

“ _Azgeda_ ,” Lodin said. “But they try to disguise their arrows.” She pointed at the fletching. “It mimics _Trikru_ , but it’s not right.”

“Those in the mountain wouldn’t know the difference,” Clarke said.

“ _Sha_.”

“Why would Nia want to stage an attack on _natrona_ in the mountain by _Trikru_?”

“Perhaps she is trying to direct their attentions elsewhere. Nia is never to be trusted.”

That was true. And if she got the mountain involved in a conflict with Lexa, it would further her ultimate aims, as well. The man on the ground drew a labored breath then stilled. Lodin pulled the arrow out of his back and sniffed it. “Poison.” She broke the arrow and put the piece with the fletching into her pack. The other end she held carefully, poisoned tip down.

Clarke searched the man’s pockets and removed his access card then walked over to where the other man lay, staring sightlessly at the sky. Lodin joined her and pulled the arrow out of his neck.

“Also poisoned,” she said. As she had with the first arrow, she broke this one and saved the fletching.

Clarke searched his pockets but found no card. They only had one between them? What if they got separated? Or were the people in the mountain trying to limit cards? She helped Lodin pull him into the forest while Bellamy and Octavia dragged the other body out of sight, as well.

Lodin buried the poisoned arrow parts and Arch joined them as they were covering the bodies. “Just the two,” he said in a surprising tenor for a man his size. “They, too, will be missing this night.”

Clarke held the access card up. “They did us a favor. It looks like we won’t have to use one of Raven’s explosives to blow the access box on a door,” she said.

“That’s helpful,” Bellamy said.

Octavia offered a grim smile. “Good. That’ll buy us extra time if we don’t have to shoot the keypad or blow it up.”

“Did either of you recognize them?”

“The one with the arrow in his neck I saw with Sanders a couple of times,” Bellamy said. “He was from Farm Station, I think. The other one I’d seen around, but I don’t know who he was.”

“That’s about what I know, too.” Octavia shrugged.

“All right. We have to go now,” Clarke said. “The _natrona_ will be missed, and we don’t know how long we have before the others come looking.” But, she thought, they weren’t that concerned with security, given the way the two men had behaved. “Do you think it’s weird that they don’t seem to realize that Lexa and Indra have been moving forces into place for a few days, now?” she said in a low voice.

“What do you mean?” Bellamy looked at her.

“There’s hardly any security. And they’re clearly not taking many precautions.”

“They’ve got Nia camped outside the main entrance,” Octavia said.

“Emerson wouldn’t trust her.” Clarke chewed her lip. “He’s a stickler for security.”

Octavia shrugged. “Maybe he can because he’s the key to overthrowing Lexa. Without him, Nia doesn’t have a chance. She won’t do anything against him because of that.”

“This makes sense,” Arch said. “We have been watching the mountain for days. It is as it was before _Wanheda_. Not many people would go outside. They didn’t have to. But this man Emerson meets with Nia.”

Clarke frowned. “It doesn’t feel right. What if Emerson is trying to reactivate the acid fog or something? That would explain why they’re not out patrolling. And why would two only have one access card?”

Bellamy rubbed his chin. “Remember they holed up in there after I disabled the fog the last time. Could be they don’t have much by way of weapons and they’re staying inside, for the most part. Plus, the fog would get rid of Nia and Emerson needs her, at least for a while.”

“But why one access card?”

He frowned. “Maybe Emerson’s trying to control something. Maybe some of their systems aren’t working properly and they only have a limited number of cards. We spent some time in there after—” he paused, as if searching for the right words. “After what happened,” he said. “The damage Raven and Wick did at the dam and the explosion of the acid tanks messed with their systems. And we pretty much just left them on auto regulation after we cleared it out to conserve power.”

She thought about that, but it didn’t sit right. “Okay, that might explain the one access card. But the security situation feels wrong. Maybe they’re waiting for something.”

“Yeah. You.”

She looked at Octavia. “No. Something else. A signal of some kind, maybe. And then Emerson will launch the missiles anyway. You heard Indra. She said _Azgeda_ appears to be waiting to launch an attack on Arkadia.”

Bellamy scowled. “What kind of signal?”

“I don’t know. But it’s probably likely to happen either on or right after the fifth day from the demands. Maybe they do know about Lexa and Indra moving people here. Maybe they want Lexa here for something, too.”

“Then we’d better get our asses in there and shut it down.”

He was right. She nodded at Lodin and they started moving again, single-file. As they worked their way through the forest, Clarke thought about Lexa. Was she walking into some kind of trap? Nia wasn’t being secretive about her encampment. Maybe she was counting on drawing Lexa out. But Lexa knew how Nia operated. She might be letting Nia think certain things even as she put others into motion, often without revealing anything. Hopefully, that was the case.

She forced herself to calm down and have confidence in Lexa’s abilities in matters like this. Plus, she needed to concentrate on where she walked, because the rain-slicked ground was slippery in places, especially on inclines. She steadied herself on a tree when her boots slid on a patch of mud. Arch steadied her from behind with one powerful hand until she regained her footing.

Slowly, they picked their way around underbrush and fallen trees. Though Clarke wore a cloak, the damp settled on it like the mist that drifted through the canopy above. She appreciated that, because it offered even more cover, but the chill seemed to seep into her bones.

Up ahead, Lodin stopped. Clarke crouched between Bellamy and Arch while Bil made his way silently to the front, switching places with Lodin. She moved closer to Clarke and spoke in a low voice near her ear.

“The tunnel is just ahead. Wait while we check things.”

She nodded and Bil and Lodin moved away. If there was nobody else in the vicinity, they could radio Sinclair. The minutes seemed to crawl and Clarke chewed her lip as tension within her increased and wound around her ribs like thick vines. Finally, Lodin returned, Bil a few paces behind.

“It is safe to go in,” she said.

Bellamy took the radio out and once again tried to contact Sinclair. He got a response right away. “Team one is at the target,” he said. “Acknowledge.”

“Copy.”

“Two Ice Nation killed two men from the mountain. Arrows made to look like Woods Clan. Everybody else is okay. Acknowledge.”

“Copy. Who were they?”

“Don’t know. Just saw them around. Ice Nation handled.”

The radio hissed for a few moments before Sinclair spoke again.

“Is the time line still twelve hours or less?”

“Yes.”

“Copy. Good luck. Out.”

Bellamy turned it off and held Clarke’s gaze as he hauled her to her feet. “You ready, Princess? Do I have full Clarke speed?”

She managed a smile. “Yeah. Let’s do this.” She transferred the map of the mountain to her pants pocket and took a few swigs of water out of her canteen. She should probably eat some jerky, but the thought of that made her stomach turn. She opted for another drink of water. Twelve hours. That’s what they had decided they would use to get in, find their friends, and disable the missile system. And, Clarke thought, Emerson. That was coming in under the deadline, but if Emerson decided anything was weird, he might opt to fire anyway. She put her canteen away. They needed to get in as soon as possible.

Octavia gave her shoulder a squeeze then nodded at Bil. He led them about thirty yards to what had once been a much larger tunnel entrance, but dirt and debris from above had covered half of it, and the half that they would have to pass through was choked with foliage. Bil picked a certain spot and climbed up the pile of dirtfall and slipped through the vegetation. Octavia followed.

“Good luck, _Wanheda_ ,” Lodin said.

Clarke nodded at her and pushed into the tunnel, wet branches dragging at her face and catching a little on her cloak. Bellamy joined her soon after and turned on a flashlight. She clenched her teeth. The odor of dirt and damp swirled around her, reminiscent of the other tunnels she’d navigated here the last time. It did nothing to alleviate her stress.

“How far did you get?” she asked Bil.

“To a door into _Maun-de_. But there are other tunnels that lead to other doors.”

Clarke unfolded the map of the mountain and Bellamy shined the flashlight on it. “Show me,” she said.

Bil studied it for a few moments then traced one of the tunnels with his index finger. “This tunnel, if we follow it around the mines, will bring you to this door.”

“Medical level,” Bellamy said. “Just like we figured.”

Clarke put the map away. “Yeah. Come on.” She fell into step behind Bil and Bellamy. Octavia walked next to Clarke as they trudged through the tunnel, the light from the flashlight throwing bizarre shadows on the walls and floor. Clarke hoped Raven had made it to the silo and that she could figure out how to open the hatch and get explosives into it. That would buy them some time to get their friends out and render the mountain uninhabitable without the threat of a missile launch.

She thought about navigating these tunnels just a few months before, and how it had seemed to take forever. But now, even with the past weighing on her like her damp cloak, they were moving quickly, and already past the main mining area. Bil motioned them to a stop and they stood completely still, listening. He continued on, and they passed the area where Clarke and Anya had hidden in old mining cars, piled in with the drained bodies of Grounders. She gritted her teeth as they passed one such car and Clarke refrained from checking its interior. Nothing and no one was in there, now, she told herself, though she knew she’d carry the memories of what she’d seen in them for the rest of her life.

And then Bellamy’s flashlight picked up a metal door. A single tiny light glowed a dim red in the card pad.

“I was taken in this way the first time,” Bellamy said, keeping his voice down. “I got here from a different branch tunnel.” He glanced at Bil. “We’ll take it from here,” To Octavia, he said, “Please tell me you have a flashlight.”

“Yeah.” She took it out of her pack and turned it on.

“Then here you go.” Bellamy handed his to Bil. “You turn it off with the switch on the side.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said to Bil.

In typical Grounder fashion, he gave her a nod and a slight smile and headed back down the tunnel.

“Okay. Guess we’ll see how well that access card works,” Bellamy said. He took his pack off then slipped out of his cloak and tossed it aside. It looked like something abandoned, and probably wouldn’t draw attention if someone from inside used this entrance.

Clarke handed the card to him and took his pack. Every part of her seemed to ache with tension.

“If this does work, I’ll go in first for a quick look. Longer than two minutes, there might be a problem.” He slid the card into the slot and Clarke held her breath. The light stayed red for a second then switched to green. A soft click indicated the door had unlocked. Bellamy pulled it open a few inches and Octavia turned her flashlight off as weak light from the mountain’s interior spilled into the tunnel.

“Wait here,” Bellamy whispered.

Octavia held the door as he slipped through and then she closed it almost all the way, but not enough for it to lock.

Clarke chewed her lip and gripped the handle of one of her knives. It comforted her a little. She counted, trying not to go too fast.

Bellamy returned before she got to fifty. “All clear. Most of the lights are off, which is good because if they’ve got cameras here, they may not be able to see much.”

“Sanders and Pike are probably based on level five, where the dorms and the cafeteria are.” Clarke said.

“And Emerson probably won’t put our friends with them, because of what they did the last time.” Bellamy took his pack from Clarke. “So he might actually have them on this level in quarantine.”

“We’ll check. The harvest room, too,” she said, though the thought made her skin crawl.

Octavia nodded, solemn, and Bellamy put his pack on. Clarke and Octavia took their cloaks off and tossed them as Bellamy had. He held the door, then went back inside. Clarke took a deep breath and followed, bracing herself for ghosts, memories, and things she had tried to bury.

Instead, she stood in a barely lit unheated concrete corridor that triggered nothing. She recognized it, but in the abstract, as if she was seeing a picture rather than standing in it, and the only sound was the buzz of one of the lights overhead that flickered.

Octavia shut the door, holding on to the handle until it settled with a soft click. Bellamy took the lead, walking so that his boots didn’t make much sound. Clarke was right behind him, holding onto the strap of her pack across her chest to keep it from bumping. They entered one of the labs and Clarke’s stomach clenched. The lighting was even worse here, which indicated that it probably wasn’t used very much anymore, if at all. Behind the far wall was the harvest room. The door stood ajar.

They worked their way around the beds in the lab, a couple of which were still made up, untouched. Octavia pushed the door open a bit more and they all froze, listening, then entered. Clarke was sure nobody was in here, but she wanted to be thorough, so they made their way around the room, using Octavia’s flashlight since none of the lights were on in here. The beam slid over chains that hung from the ceiling. Medical monitors still stood intact, as if waiting for the next victim. Her stomach turned but she forced herself to stay alert and listen.

The door to the holding room beyond stood fully open and again, they waited and listened for a while before going inside. This would take more time, because they needed to check all the cages. Octavia moved down the aisles between them, shining the flashlight in each one. The doors were open on all, and Clarke saw no sign that anybody had been locked up here since she and Bellamy had pulled the lever.

They went back to the main lab. Octavia turned the flashlight off and Clarke took the map of Mt. Weather out of her pocket. She opened it and they all huddled close. Even in the dim light, the map’s features were visible. Bellamy pointed at the quarantine rooms. Clarke nodded and put the map back in her pocket. Bellamy led them back into the main corridor, where they hugged the wall with the least light, though the lighting was already bad and they were all wearing dark clothing. Maybe Raven’s bombs had done more damage to the turbines than they estimated. Or those in the mountain were simply conserving power in areas not in regular use.

Bellamy stopped at the entrance to the hallway that stretched between two rows of doors, one on either side of it. The lighting wasn’t much better here, and Clarke was glad because these were the quarantine rooms, and she remembered not only her own experience with them, but her nightmare in which Lexa was trapped in one. He glanced at her and Octavia in turn, then motioned with this head toward the first door. It was partially open, so Clarke doubted anybody was inside and she was right. Same for the door opposite. They moved to the next set of doors with the same results.

Halfway down the corridor Octavia grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall. She pointed the way they had come and Clarke froze. Someone had turned the lights up and she heard faint voices. The door to the room across from them stood wide open and they ducked into it, behind the door. She barely breathed, plastered against the wall as if she was trying to somehow melt into it. The room was mostly dark, which helped, but nothing was ever certain.

“—shit makes me nervous,” said a male voice. “Why aren’t we trying to figure out a deal with Arkadia?”

“Sanders doesn’t want to work with Grounders,” responded a female voice. “Neither does Pike.”

“Maybe we should. There’s a lot of them out there. What the hell are they doing?”

The soft scuffs of their feet were almost to the room where they hid and, Clarke realized, one of them was pushing a cart from the sounds. Something rattled on its surface, metal on metal.

“Ice Nation is working with us.”

They passed the room but Clarke didn’t relax. Instead, she counted, trying to gauge how many seconds it took before they stopped.

“There are something like ten other clans,” the man said. “ And they completely outnumber Ice Nation in a fight.”

“Not with Emerson involved. Besides, their Commander doesn’t have everybody on board. Even if they show up, they’re divided. Nia will take care of them.” She had the confidence of a believer, and Clarke wondered what else they were being told. The Mountain Men had been master propagandists, and it wouldn’t surprise her if Emerson had put a certain spin on the information he shared.

“I heard there might be Grounders behind the dam,” he said. The sounds from the cart had stopped and Clarke assumed they had stopped walking, eight seconds from when she had started counting.

“There are always Grounders somewhere. Quit worrying.”

She heard a soft beep and a click.

“Early dinner today,” the man said, but Clarke knew he wasn’t talking to his female companion. Bellamy squeezed her forearm hard and she winced but didn’t pull away.

The two speakers must have gone to the end of the corridor because she couldn’t make out everything that was said, but she heard what might have been other voices in addition to those of the man and woman who brought the food. And then the sound of the cart got louder.

“Did anybody find Griffin yet?” the man asked as they approached.

“No, but I heard Emerson telling Pike that she might be on her way. Some Ice Nation scout saw her a few hours ago. Looked like she was headed here.”

“Maybe we can settle all of this,” the man said. “Makes me nervous, a bunch of armed Grounders running around out there. And Emerson—I don’t think he’s entirely sane.”

“Keep that to yourself, she warned,” and the sound of their voices faded as they moved farther away.

Clarke didn’t move for a while, glad that Bellamy and Octavia didn’t, either. She listened, but heard nothing else. The lights in the corridor beyond dimmed again.

“Plan?” Octavia whispered.

“Let’s see who they were feeding,” Clarke said softly. “I think I know roughly where they stopped.” She looked at Bellamy for confirmation and he nodded and pushed off from the wall.

“No flashlight,” he warned.

Clarke followed him into the hallway, but the hair on the back of her neck seemed to stand up as she thought about the video cameras throughout the mountain, maybe trained on her right now. Hopefully this time, with a much smaller group inside, those monitoring mountain security had gone a little lax. It was a chance they had to take.

She took the lead, and with what she estimated was the pace of the two people who had brought food, she counted to eight, chafing at how slow she seemed to be walking. She stopped and motioned at the door on her right, which was closed and locked but harbored dim ceiling lights inside.

She peered inside through the window. Bellamy and Octavia on either side of her.

And there was Monty, sitting on the bed, staring at the floor. He was wearing standard clothing rather than a medical gown. Clarke almost collapsed with relief. She tapped on the glass with her fingertip.

He looked up and his eyes widened. He didn’t move for a moment, clearly stunned. And then he was at the door, smiling. “Can you hear me?” he said, his mouth close to the glass. She nodded.

“Harper’s next door.” He pointed to his right. “Sam and Jasper are across the hall.”

She nodded and Bellamy took the ID card out they’d already used. “Let’s hope they haven’t yet figured out those guys are missing,” he said in a low voice.

“Wait,” Monty said. “The door code is a six-number sequence. I confirmed with Sam that it’s the same one for my door and his, so it probably works for all of them.” He recited the sequence and Bellamy entered it on the keypad. The red light went off and Clarke opened the door. Monty gave them all quick hugs.

“They come twice a day,” he said. “I watched them enter the code on Sam’s side and he watched my door. The lighting sucks here, but we were able to confirm the code’s the same without too much noise. Doesn’t do us any good on the inside, but here you are. Though you do look different than the last time I saw you. Nice hair color. A _Wanheda_ of many talents.”

She started to respond when Bellamy cut in.

“We’ll let the others out,” he said. He motioned to Octavia and they went back into the corridor.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked, noting the dark circles under his eyes.

“For the most part. We try not to eat too much of what they bring. Pretty sure it’s drugged. So for the past few days, we’ve been pretty hungry.”

She pointed at the bed. “Let’s make it look like you’re sleeping. Hurry.” She helped him arrange the pillows and blankets then led him to one of the other rooms that was standing open. Less chance of surveillance there, she hoped.

“What do you know about what’s happening here?” Clarke dug a packet of food out of her pack and handed it to him. He opened it and started chewing on a piece of dried meat.

“Not much, except our old friend Emerson is here and from what I can tell, he’s planning something.”

“He’s threatened to fire missiles at Arkadia and Polis.”

Monty stopped chewing. “What?”

“In exchange for me, he claims he won’t do it and he won’t kill his hostages.”

“He’s lying.” Monty took another bite, chewed, and swallowed. “He’ll want you to watch him fire the missiles and he’ll want you to watch him kill us.”

“Exactly. That’s why we’re here.”

“How long do we have?”

“Hard to say. He gave us five days, but that was three days ago.” Clarke turned when Sam and Harper came in. Harper’s hug practically crushed her ribs. As soon as she was finished, Sam took her place and Clarke couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t mind.

“Damn, are we glad to see you,” he said. Monty handed pieces of bread and meat to him and Harper and they ate with gusto.

“We don’t have much time,” Octavia said. “When do they bring the next meal?”

“Usually we get an evening and a morning meal. This one is a bit early, and that isn’t unusual. It happened twice before. They’ll be back in five or six hours to check on us.”

“What do they do?” Clarke asked.

“Look through the windows. They don’t come in. We made it look like we’re sleeping.”

“That gives us at least six hours, maybe more,” Octavia said.

“Ideally, but that’s not a guarantee.” Clarke handed Harper her canteen. “Ice Nation killed two from the mountain earlier today. We took the one access card they had. Once Pike and Sanders realize they’re gone, they may do a search inside.”

“What the hell?” Sam frowned.

“They used arrows that looked like Woods Clan. Nia may be trying to get Pike and Sanders into a war with Lexa.” Clarke turned as Bellamy entered with Jasper and Monty pushed past her and wrapped him in a hug. Sam clapped him on the shoulder and then Harper hugged him, too. Like his friends, he looked worn and tired, but otherwise okay physically. He glanced at her over Harper’s shoulder but shifted his gaze immediately elsewhere. Clarke didn’t blame him. Everything about the mountain was a reminder for him, just as it was for her.

Octavia positioned herself close to the doorway, at an angle where she could watch the corridor.

“Okay,” Bellamy said, keeping his voice down and saving Clarke from having to say anything to Jasper, which she appreciated since he continued to avoid looking at her. “We need to get moving. Here’s what’s happening.” He quickly outlined what was coalescing outside the mountain and Emerson’s demands. “So while Raven is trying to somehow disable the missile silo from above, we’re going to try from the inside.”

“If we can get down to Dante’s office, I can hack into the system again,” Monty said. “Hopefully his computer will be there.”

“No reason it shouldn’t be. Emerson has access to computers elsewhere. Probably level four. Clarke, take Sam and Monty and get down there. The rest of us will figure out who’s on which level and we’ll set some bombs for maximum distraction.”

“You sound like Raven,” Sam said with a chuckle. “But she knows her shit.”

“She does.” Clarke addressed Bellamy. “Take the access card. Monty can get us into Dante’s office. He hacked in before.” She looked at him. “Haven’t you?”

“Yeah. And since he’s no longer with us, his office might not even be sealed.”

“What if power’s an issue?”

Everybody looked at Harper. “I mean, look how low they keep lights here. Dante’s office is four levels down. They might not have power down there or they’re regulating it.”

“We have to take the chance,” Bellamy said.

“I have a flashlight.” Clarke took it out of her pack and put it in her pants pocket.

“Let’s plan on meeting in the smaller med lab in two hours. Is that enough time for you, Monty?” Bellamy asked.

“It’ll have to be, won’t it?” He gave a tight smile.

“Okay. We came in through the tunnels off the med level. If anything goes wrong, head there and get the hell out of the mountain. There’s Woods Clan watching the tunnels, and they’ll help. But stay alert. Ice Nation is out there, too.” He looked at Clarke. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Good luck.”

“Whatever it takes.”

“Wait,” Octavia said, expression urgent. She stepped away from the doorway and drew her knife and short sword. “Somebody’s coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, peeps! One chapter this week, but it's longer than my usual fare, so hopefully that'll make up for it.
> 
> And holy hell, our gang is in the mountain and shit is getting real. They're racing against the clock and against Emerson figuring out they're inside which gives me extreme stress. O_O
> 
> Hopefully next week I'll have two chapters so we can find out what happened! OMG!
> 
> Thanks muchly for the kudos and comments. I try to respond ASAP, but don't worry if I don't right away. I'll get to it! I do hope this S3 reboot has been fun for you thus far. Don't worry! There'll be some more Clexa time...hope you stick with me.
> 
> Songs that accompanied me on this chapter's writing: Far Places, "Should've Known Better"; Juventa, "Ruby" (Morning Walk Mix); Cocteau Twins, "Persephone"


	45. Tricks of the Trade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's forces are getting into position near the mountain but an attack sends her on the trail of Gina and into enemy territory.

Lexa finished checking the placement of the tents of the thirty warriors who remained in close contact with her. In spite of the rain, they had set up quickly, and though it had finally abated somewhat, she was damp all the way through, even with her cloak. Still, the clouds hung low in the late afternoon chill, obscuring the top of the mountain, which would help mask Raven’s actions.

The rest of her forces she had split several miles from the mountain, but she knew that even with _Azgeda_ ’s unfamiliarity with the area, chances were Nia would soon know at least some of her movements. What Lexa hoped to mitigate was Nia’s knowledge of her specific location, so she had instructed that two other encampments be made that appeared that they might harbor the Commander.

For her part, she had dispensed with the outer trappings of her position, and instead looked like any other _Trikru_ warrior, down to the painted tattoo on the right side of her face that mimicked in shape that of Balta’s. Kane had donned the clothing of a Grounder warrior, and much to her approval, had allowed his face, as well, to be disguised with a temporary tattoo.

“ _Heda_ ,” said the scout as he approached. “ _Floukru_ warriors are in place as you directed.”

“What messages from _Kris kom Trishana_?”

“None yet. As soon as such arrives, I will ensure you hear it immediately.”

“And Mora?”

“Nothing yet, _Heda_.”

She dismissed him with a nod and strode toward her tent, which was guarded by a hulking warrior who reminded her of Gustus. She still thought of him, and of the plot he initiated that would have destroyed the first attempt at an alliance with _Skaikru_. Clarke had discovered his subterfuge, and regardless of his motivations behind it, she had to carry out the sentence. Even then, she had followed her intuition with regard to Clarke, who had made her believe her, made her see that Gustus was responsible for the poisoning attempt. She had once trusted Gustus implicitly, and knew that he would have died for her. In a way, he had.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ wishes to speak with you, _Heda_ ,” he said.

“ _Lid em in_.” 2

“ _Sha_.”

She entered her tent, glad for the respite from the rain, but too anxious to try to rest on the available furs. Soon, Clarke would be at the entrance to the tunnel that would take her back into the mountain. She knew which tunnel it was, and which level they planned to enter first. Most likely, Clarke suspected her friends were being held on that level, in the quarantine section, a place Clarke herself had experienced when she was first brought to the mountain.

Lexa could think dispassionately about the route through the mountain Clarke might take and why she chose it because it involved analysis, and there was no emotional investment in that. But as soon as she thought specifically of Clarke, and what she might be thinking and feeling as she walked that route, tension wound like ropes around her ribs. This was a price for caring, she knew, but given the alternative, she would gladly pay it.

“ _Heda_ ,” Kane said at the tent entrance. “I’ve got news.”

She motioned him in.

“Raven is at the silo hatch and is trying to figure out whether she can disable it.”

“What of _Azgeda_?”

“They saw two scouts, but nothing more. Nia doesn’t appear to be focusing much on the area near the dam.”

“She has no reason to,” she said. “Nia will concentrate her forces near the mountain’s main entrance and near Arkadia.”

“Why?”

“She provides a barrier at the entrance. And, if Emerson is able to fire a missile at Arkadia, it will be easy for _Azgeda_ to subdue what remains of it.”

Kane’s jawline tightened. “Why would Emerson want _Azgeda_ to do that?”

“It’s more what Nia wishes. She is gambling that I have ties to _Wanheda_ and _Skaikru_ and that I will challenge her.”

Kane was silent for a while. “Sinclair said they’re evacuating people from Arkadia.”

“That is wise.” No doubt it was Clarke’s suggestion. “And what of Clarke’s group?” She tried to keep urgency out of her tone, but she was uncertain she was successful.

“They went into the mountain. Sinclair told me that two _Skaikru natrona_ were nearby but were killed by two _Azgeda_.” He paused, as if waiting for her to respond but she didn’t, so he continued. “ _Azgeda_ used poisoned arrows made to look like _Trikru_. The _Azgeda_ who shot them are also dead. Otherwise, all are well.”

“How long ago was this?”

“I spoke with Sinclair on the radio a few minutes ago. He had a difficult time reaching me and said it was maybe three hours ago. The timeline is twelve hours from that.”

So nine hours, now. Before first light. So many things could happen. Lexa looked at the map spread out on her table. She used a piece of charcoal to track the positions of her various forces and of the last known locations of Clarke and Raven. She placed a mark on the top of the mountain to indicate Raven and another mark lower down for Clarke.

“Why would Nia want to start a war between _Trikru_ and those in the mountain?” Kane asked after a while.

“Because it drains resources and attention. Both mine and those in the mountain.”

He nodded as comprehension dawned on his features. “Distractions that she will try to exploit.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

She looked up from the map. “She knows that I have warriors in the forests near Arkadia, though she will not know how many. By now, she will also know that there are warriors moving into place near _Maun-de_. But she will not know the numbers or what their purpose is. Nor will she know for certain which camp I occupy. She will assume we are here to try to protect Polis and Arkadia and deal with the _natrona_ inside, though she may also assume I am here to challenge her in some way.”

“Are you?” He looked at her, head cocked to the side.

“Everything I do she perceives as a challenge.” Lexa added another mark to the map, where Atlan’s last position was.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him, amused and glad that he pressed the issue with her. She appreciated different perspectives.

“True, _Markus kom Skaikru_. It did not. I am not here to directly challenge Nia. That is not the purpose of my presence. But if such an opportunity were to present itself, I would exploit it.”

He held her gaze. “Will she attack?”

She set the charcoal down. “Not directly, because she would lose what remaining support she has among the clans. Even Nia knows that she needs cause to do so. And she could always claim a cause and then request that the _kongeda_ determine its validity.”

“Which drains more time and resources.”

“ _Sha_.” The conversation reminded her of the strategy exercises she did with Novitiates.

“Has there been word about Gina’s location?” he asked.

“No, but when there is, I will tell you.” If all had gone well, the mountain should be aware that someone in the forest who looked a lot like Clarke was on her way there.

“ _Heda_ , there is a message,” said the mountainous guard from outside.

“Who?”

A _Trikru_ scout brushed past the guard. “Forgive me, _Heda_ , for the interruption. _Azgeda_ warriors have attacked a _gonakru_ 1 of _Floukru_ and _Trikru_.

Lexa regarded him for a moment, assessing his demeanor. “Where?”

“Here.” He moved and pointed at the map, indicating a spot southeast of Nia’s encampment.

Not more than a half-hour on foot, much less on horseback. “How many?”

“Maybe twenty, attacking the same number of _Trikru_ and _Floukru_.”

“Indra has warriors here—” she placed her finger about a mile from where the attack occurred, “and Fizel just arrived from Polis here. They can flank _Floukru_. Go. Alert them.”

“ _Sha_.” He ducked out as quickly as he had entered.

“You must go with your guard to the rendezvous point we discussed earlier,” she said to Kane. “The attack is probably a diversion.”

“For what?”

“Nia wishes to know specifically where I am. She will send scouts to check the encampments.”

“Ah. Probably good, since I don’t speak enough of the language yet. That would be a giveaway. What else can I do?”

“Stay alive,” she said with a grim smile. “Now go. My guard will bring you back once it is safer.”

He did, and she put the hood of her cloak up. Her swords were buckled to her back, and their weight was familiar and comfortable, but she longed for her traditional battle garb.

“ _Lid Arling in_ ,”3 she said to the guard and he hurried away. The rain had started again, which could be either a boon or a detriment, depending on circumstances.

“ _Heda_ ,” Arling said as he entered, drops of rain shining on his dark scalp.

“Has there been a message from Mora?”

“No,” he said. “But another scout spotted her _kru_ a while ago.” He tapped the map on the table and she frowned.

“Which direction did they travel?”

“West, toward _Maun-de_.”

“How long is a while?”

He pursed his lips, thinking. “A few hours. Perhaps three.”

She placed a mark with the charcoal on the map at the spot he had indicated. “Twenty _Azgeda_ just attacked a comparable number of _Trikru_ and _Floukru_ here.” She pointed. “Nia is attempting to distract us, that she may try to discover where I am or where Clarke is.”

Arling leaned closer then looked up at her, realization in his expression that Mora’s group may have ended up in the skirmish.

“ _Oso souda hos of_ ,”4 Lexa said. _Lid du gona in_.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He slipped out of the tent.

The steady beat of the rain on the tent’s roof soothed her for a few seconds and she took the painting Clarke had sent with Tam out of her shirt and stared at it, remembering how it felt to have her close, the warmth of her lips and hands making her forget, at least for a moment, that she was always _Heda_.

“ _Ogud_ , _Heda_ ,”5 Arling said. He stood outside, holding the tent flap open.

She folded the piece of cloth and slid it back into her shirt, next to her heart, and stepped out into the rain.

  
1 _gonakru_ : group of warriors   
2 _Lid em in_ : bring him   
3 _Lid Arling in_ : bring Arling   
4 _Oso souda hos of…Lid du gona in_ : We must go (quickly)…bring two warriors   
5 _Ogud_ : ready

###

“ _Hani stedaunon_?” 6 Lexa asked as she surveyed the temporary camp.

“ _Thri_ , _Heda_. _Wan Floukru_ , _du_ _Trikru_.” 7 The _Floukru_ warrior’s expression was tight with exhaustion and anger. The grief would come later.

“ _Azgeda_?”

“ _Fai stedaunon_. _Du don hon daun_.” 8 He said it with grim satisfaction.

“ _Os_ ,” she said. “ _Weron don kika gonot raun_?” 9

“ _Gon Maun-de_.” 10 The blood from a gash on his forehead left a trail down the side of his face, mixed with rain.

“ _Heda_ ,” said another warrior who was striding toward her, his reddish hair rain-slicked against his scalp. Not much taller than Lexa, he reminded her of a tree stump, with his compact build.

“ _Sha_ , Rydin. Speak.”

“Nia was not with these forces, nor were _Skaikru natrona_. But I would guess that Nia ordered the attack. Would you like to speak with the two who were captured?”

“ _Sha_.” She looked at the other man. “ _Mochof_. _Gyon au gon fisa_.”

He nodded and turned away.

“Take me to the prisoners. And do not refer to me as _Heda_.”

“ _Sha_.” He flashed a grin and led her through the knots of warriors who were busying themselves with making camp and tending to wounds. A couple of fires had been built, but they were burned down to embers, and had not been fed, in preparation for darkness.

Rydin stopped and motioned at two men sitting against trees, hands and feet bound. They had also been gagged. Their hair hung around their faces in damp strands, obscuring some of their facial scarring. Lexa motioned for Rydin to remove the strip of cloth from the closest man’s mouth. He glared at her when Rydin stepped away after doing it. She regarded him as she might something as interesting as a piece of wood.

“I’ll need three more warriors,” she said to Rydin. He nodded and gave a sharp whistle. The warriors closest looked over at him.

“ _Thri_ _hir_. _Nou_ ,” he said and the requested number walked over and waited for further instructions.

Lexa then addressed the prisoners. “One of you will be taking a message from _Heda Leksa_ to your queen,” she said after a few moments. Which of you that is depends on the answers I receive to my questions. The better your answers, the greater your chance of survival, and the better the chances of going with all your body parts.”

The man whose gag was removed still glared at her, but she detected no indication that he recognized her. She removed the cloth from the other man’s mouth. “Perhaps _you_ are more amenable to my offer.”

This warrior didn’t glare at her, but he didn’t offer any comment, either.

“Let’s begin. Did your queen order this attack on _Heda_ ’s warriors?”

Silence.

“Hold him down,” Lexa said, motioning at the warrior who had been glaring at her. Two warriors pushed the bound man face first onto the wet ground. Lexa drew one of her knives and positioned herself so that she could access his hands. The third warrior kneeled and held the man’s arms still, though he had started to squirm. Rydin kneeled on the warrior’s legs.

Lexa was fast, but he grunted in pain and squirmed even more as she severed his index finger. She held it near his face and dropped it on the ground next to his head. He stared at it, as if he couldn’t believe it was his.

“Now the other.”

Rydin called two more warriors over to keep the first man on the ground while the other three moved to the other prisoner, whose face had paled, Lexa saw, even in the early evening light. He tried to struggle to his knees but was brought down hard and Lexa took one of his index fingers, too. He yelped and writhed. She dropped it on the ground next to his face.

“I’ll ask again. Did your queen order this attack—”

“Yes,” said the second warrior. “Yes. Nia ordered it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know for sure,” he said with a grunt of pain. “She ordered us to attack these forces in this area.”

Lexa frowned and crouched down next to him. He was still lying prone on the ground, two warriors holding him down, the side of his head pressed into the earth.

“Nowhere else?” she asked. “This particular spot?”

“ _Sha_.”

“What do you remember seeing when you attacked?”

“ _Floukru_ and _Trikru_.” He gritted his teeth in obvious pain.

“What else?” She nudged the severed finger with the tip of her knife.

“A woman who looked like _Skaikru_ ,” he said in a rush between his teeth. “Yellow hair.”

The other warrior struggled. “ _Shof op_ ,”12 he said, venom in his tone. Rydin kneed him in the back and he grunted.

“What happened to this woman?” Lexa asked.

“I saw two _Azgeda_ give chase,” the man said, clearly disobeying the other warrior. “And then I was knocked down.”

One of Nia’s scouts must have seen Gina and alerted Nia, who sent a _kru_ to create enough of a diversion to give others time to try to capture her. Lexa stood and motioned for Rydin to follow her. She led him out of earshot of the prisoners.

“Did you see _Mora kom Trikru_ in the attack?”

“No, but I arrived later.”

“Find me someone who was here during the initial attack.”

“ _Sha_.” He hurried away and she returned to the prisoners, both of whom were silent but grimacing in pain.

“Sit them up for now,” she said. “And kill them if they try to escape, though perhaps we might leave them to bleed.” She went in search of Arling and found him talking to a healer. When he saw her, he joined her.

“Nia may have attacked in order to capture the decoy from Arkadia,” she said to him, keeping her voice low. “Once I have determined how great this possibility is, we may be launching a search.”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, not using her title. He had worked with her long enough to know that when she was not dressed as Commander that he should not address her as such.

Rydin approached with a warrior she recognized as one who had served with Indra. Her eyes, a pale blue, made Lexa think of Clarke.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said quietly. “I was here when the original attack occurred.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“We were to meet Indra’s forces just north of here. We had some warning, though, that _Azgeda_ was in the vicinity because _Floukru_ scouts alerted us. We were thus prepared when _Azgeda_ arrived.”

“And what did you see?”

She thought for a moment. “ _Azgeda_ split when they attacked. Most stayed to engage, but there were—three, I think, that didn’t.” She moved a strand of hair aside, revealing a gash on her face that seemed to have been cleaned up.

“What did they do?”

“They stayed on the periphery of the attack, and moved east. Two _Floukru_ went after them, but they were pinned down by five other _Azgeda_. I thought it strange, that in an attack warriors would avoid the battle while others did not.”

Lexa glanced at Arling then back at the warrior. “How long did the attack last?”

“As long as it takes to walk from the gates of Polis to the tower, perhaps. We captured two and killed five.”

“What happened to the other _Azgeda_?”

“They suddenly withdrew. We sent a scout after them. He has not returned yet.” She fell silent, as if thinking. “There was something else. I saw the _Azgeda_ who stayed out of the main battle engage with three others who appeared to be _Trikru_. There was someone with them who then ran, but I didn’t see who it was.”

“Did you notice anything about this runner?”

“Female, I think. Yellow hair.”

Lexa considered the statement. Two separate witnesses, from two separate clans who provided a similar description. She caught Arling’s eye again and gave him a nod. He immediately left. “ _Mochof_ ,” she said to the warrior. “Make sure you eat and rest.”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said with a smile and what might have been surprise, that the Commander would take an interest in her personal welfare. She nodded and jogged off toward one of the dying fires.

“Come,” Lexa said to Rydin and she returned to the prisoners. She leaned down and with the tip of her knife she stabbed the severed finger of the man who had answered her questions. She crouched and held it near his face. He tried to recoil but the guards holding him precluded it.

“What was the real reason your queen ordered this attack?” she asked.

Confusion flashed in his eyes.

“Every warrior hears things. What did you hear?”

His companion sounded a warning hiss. Lexa stabbed her knife into the ground. It pinned his finger with it.

“She wasn’t interested in _Heda_ ’s warriors,” he said, staring at his finger and her knife. Sweat ran down his face, over his nose. “She wanted the yellow-haired woman her scout saw, and other _Azgeda_ scouts tracked the woman and the _Trikru_ with her.”

“They were able to determine the path of this woman?”

“Yes.”

“And Nia sent warriors to attack _Heda_ ’s forces here as a diversion?”

“It seemed that way, because we received a signal to retreat not long after we attacked.”

The other prisoner spat something foul about his companion.

Lexa looked up at Rydin. “Set a blade in the fire.”

He nodded and moved away.

“Your queen made a deal with the last of the _Maunon_ ,” she said, her fingertip on the pommel of her knife that still jutted from the earth. “ _Azgeda_ lost many to _Maun-de_. And yet your queen entered an agreement with this man.” She pulled her knife out in a quick motion. “We cannot always choose our leaders, but we can choose whether to serve them.” She stood and stepped away. Both men were forced back to the ground, their faces to the earth, so Rydin could apply the hot blade to the stump of each one’s finger. Both writhed and jerked and the one who had provided answers turned his face to the earth and he trembled with pain.

Lexa flicked her knife and the finger sailed off it into the underbrush. Rydin finished and sank his own blade into the earth to cool it.

“Take him—” she pointed at the man who had answered her questions, “to the firepit. I would speak with him once I have finished with his companion.”

Two warriors hauled the man to his feet and half-walked, half-dragged him to the firepit. The other warrior sat the remaining prisoner up. Rydin stood just behind her.

Lexa looked at the prisoner, expression impassive. “You will take a message to your queen from _Heda Leksa_.”

He stared back at her, surprised. “You said that you would grant freedom to the man who gave you answers.”

“No, I said that your answers would determine your survival and your body parts. Not which of you carries the message.”

He frowned. “Why are you sending me?”

“You did not provide answers, even after losing a finger. Which tells me you are loyal to your queen. Your companion clearly is not. He no doubt understands that his life is forfeit as a result if he returns to her.”

He clamped his mouth shut, wariness in his eyes.

“Your companion would not have returned to your queen and _Heda_ ’s message would not reach Nia.” She sheathed her knife. “You, however, will return to your queen.”

He remained silent.

“I am operating under the authority granted me by _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_. Tell your queen that an unprovoked attack on _kongeda_ members is an act of war. The clan council is also aware of her dealings with the _Maunon_ and if she has taken a _Skaikru_ hostage in order to further it, the council will consider that, as well, an act of war.” She paused, and leaned closer, enunciating every word. “And tell Nia that _Heda_ will personally seek an accounting.” She stared at him to drive her statement into him harder, then straightened and walked away, Rydin with her. “Blindfold him and have him escorted a good distance from here before he’s set loose. And I want him followed.”

“ _Sha_.” He turned away and Lexa continued to the firepit where the other prisoner sat, under guard. She motioned Arling aside.

“We are ready to go,” he said. “Two scouts wait for us. They have already searched the area. They found nothing to suggest a death, but they do have a possible direction.”

“Toward Nia?”

“ _Sha_. They found traces of a struggle.”

“I would see that spot when I am finished here.”

He nodded.

“Are Roan’s forces where he said they would be?”

“ _Sha_. Southwest of the mountain, near _Trishana_ forces.”

She nodded and went to the firepit, where embers still glowed in the dusk, though a light rain had started to fall, and Lexa heard the faint hissing of drops on the dying coals.

“Your companion will take the message from _Heda Leksa_ to Nia,” she said.

He looked at her, a flash of fear in his eyes that he tried to hide by shifting his gaze to the firepit.

“He will do this because you would not have fulfilled my request.”

He jerked his gaze back to her.

“You have no loyalty for Nia, or you would not have answered my questions and you know it’s a risk to return because Nia kills those who betray her.”

He licked his lips, but kept his gaze on hers.

“Why has Nia lost your loyalty?”

The question clearly surprised him because his eyes widened.

She waited.

He resumed staring into the embers. “She cares nothing for her people,” he said after a while, apparently deciding that he had nothing to lose. “She only cares for power.” His head drooped forward for few seconds and then he turned it to look at her again. “My brother served her for many years. He saw that it would be dangerous for her to ally with the last of the _Maunon_ and he advised her not to. He said it would bring trouble, and that we should instead consider _Heda_ ’s offer to join the _kongeda_.”

“And this was not something she wished to hear?”

“She had him executed for treason.”

His grief was palpable in his quiet tone.

“I cannot willingly serve a leader who does such things as execute a man for giving advice, and then claims his advice was treasonous.” He sagged a little, as if accepting whatever fate Lexa decided to give him.

“What is your name?”

He looked at her, again surprised. “Denys.”

“Under the authority of _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , I offer you a choice, _Denys kom Azgeda_. If you wish to find a new leader among your clan and offer your services, _hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ has assembled a force of warriors southwest of _Maun-de_ , near the dam.”

He stared at her. “Roan? He is truly alive?”

“ _Sha_. He seeks to help the _kongeda_ against the mountain. You will have to find your own way to his exact location. I suggest you avoid Nia’s encampment, however. Once you arrive, tell the sentries you are there under the direction of _Heda_ and seek an audience with Roan. Tell him what you told me.”

“What’s the other choice?”

“There are two. You choose to serve _Heda_ or you leave here and choose neither, becoming _splita_.”

He was quiet for a few moments before he looked up at her. “I would seek an audience with Roan.”

“Very well.”

Rydin stood nearby, watching. Lexa joined him. “He has chosen to go to Roan’s camp. Do with him as you did with the other and tell him the best direction to reach the camp.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Send a scout to my camp. Find Kane and tell him _Azgeda_ may have the decoy.”

He nodded. “It will be done.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Rydin kom Floukru_.” They clasped forearms and Lexa turned to find Arling waiting for her. She nodded and without a word, he turned and led her away from the camp to meet the two scouts who had accompanied her and Arling that morning.

Alis, the female scout, dipped her head at Lexa and moved deeper into the forest. She stopped after a while and pointed at the ground. It was almost too dark to see, but Lexa moved closer and studied the sign. Broken branches, freshly trampled and scuffed grass. Alis pointed again and Lexa moved in the direction she indicated, following the continued signs of struggle, stepping carefully. The rain increased, and Lexa put her hood up.

They managed another quarter-mile or so before the darkness caused them to slow even more. Arling stopped and stooped. Lexa stepped closer and bent to see what he had discovered.

A pack.

It was made out of some kind of canvas and didn’t look like anything the clans would carry, so she suspected it was Gina’s. She grimaced and picked it up so she could look inside. Water, food, and an extra shirt. She handed it to Carver, the other scout, and pushed through the underbrush, guessing at the path Gina may have taken.

Arling stopped again and motioned for all to crouch. A sound came from ahead and Lexa recognized it as moaning. They waited, assessing. The moaning stopped for a few moments then started again. Lexa gauged the distance to whoever was making it as a couple dozen paces. Arling and Carver moved toward it, blades drawn.

Carver returned soon after. “ _Azgeda_ ,” he said in a low voice.

Lexa followed him, Alis right behind her, to where Arling stood next to a man on his side. He still moaned softly. She squatted next to him. He held his hands over his stomach and coughed. She knew it was blood. His breath rasped between his teeth.

“Were you chasing the _Skaikru_ woman?” she asked.

He said nothing.

“Your queen won’t exact payment for betrayal if you tell me,” she said softly. “But I can end your suffering if you do.”

“ _Wan—heda_ ,” he gasped out.

“She did this?”

“No.” He panted. “ _Trikru_ scouts with her.” He coughed again.

“Where is _Wanheda_ now?”

“Don’t. . . know.” His breathing came in shallow bursts.

“Does Nia seek to capture _Wanheda_?”

“ _Sha_.” He wheezed and remained silent for a few moments. Finally, he spoke again. “ _Beja_. _. .ron ai wamplei op_.” 13

It was clear he could not offer anything more, so she drew one of her knives and, with the fingers of her left hand, found the spot on his neck that provided the fastest results. She slid her knife in and sliced. The warrior sighed and relaxed into death.

Lexa wiped the knife on his trousers. “ _Hoz op_ ,”14 she said and they continued, moving faster now, over fallen trees and across soaked ground. She was as much at home here as in Polis, the smells and sounds their own map, revealing layers of the physical terrain that those not born to the trees would never sense. She often found peace in the forests, and even though the reasons she was here this night were urgent, she relaxed into her movements, thinking only of where she placed her body.

A nightbird call interrupted the rhythm of their passage. They all stopped and Alis responded with an owl’s breathy hoot. Lexa drew her swords, the soft whisper of metal on metal barely discernible in the rain.

The nightbird call sounded again, closer. Alis responded and two shapes seemed to emerge from the darkness as if from behind a dark tapestry.

“ _Ai laik Mora kom Trikru_ ,” said one. “ _En Farel kom Trikru_.” 15

“ _Os. Ai laik Arling_ _en thri mou Trikru_.” 16

Mora and Farel crouched close to them and Lexa sheathed her swords.

“What happened?” Lexa asked.

“ _Heda_ ,” Mora said, surprise evident in her tone. Farel murmured a greeting, as well. “ _Azgeda_ attacked,” she continued. “But there was a group of _Trikru_ and _Floukru_ nearby, and I realized those among them were also under attack. A few _Azgeda_ broke off from the main force and chased us.”

“How close were you to the _gonakru_ they attacked?”

“Not more than a hundred paces. We were planning to rest among them.”

“Where is _Ginah kom Skaikru_?” 17

“She was with Farel and Mik when we were attacked. I heard and followed them. Farel joined me and we took down two _Azgeda_ to provide more time. Four other _Azgeda_ chased them, but Mik is one of Indra’s best scouts, and he is good at hiding.”

So there was a chance that Gina was not in _Azgeda_ hands. “We must find them before Nia does,” Lexa said. “She doesn’t know this is not _Wanheda_.”

“Has Nia ever seen Clarke?” Arling asked.

“No.” Lexa considered the implications if _Azgeda_ found Gina. “But if she captures her, she may attempt to use her in another deal with Emerson. And he knows what Clarke looks like.”

Mora made a soft sound. “We will split up. Three and three.”

“I’ll go with Farel and Mora,” Alis said. “We’ll swing south of Nia’s camp, the rest of you go north. How much time do we have?”

“Not long,” Lexa said. “A few hours before first light. If Nia has Gina, she will take her to the mountain very soon. We must prevent that.”

“ _Sha_.” Alis moved away with Mora and Farel. Lexa waited with the others for a few minutes then they, too, started moving again. The rain had slowed, but it didn’t make a difference since she was already drenched.

Her thoughts turned to Clarke, as they often did. If she had to, she would enter the mountain, as well, and bring her out. If she had to kill every last _natrona_ and Emerson with her bare hands, she would bring her out.

No sign of _Azgeda_ , but they moved carefully and quietly even with their speed. Arling was in the lead, Lexa right behind him. He led them down an embankment and across a stream, still hurrying. If _Azgeda_ had Gina and Mik, they would not be taking their time, so it was less important to track than to make up distance. A nightbird sounded behind them, but breathy and weak and they all crouched on the forest floor, waiting. The call sounded again and Arling responded with a slightly different intonation.

Lexa strained to hear and finally picked up the soft scuff of a boot on wood. She drew one of her knives.

“ _Mik kom Trikru_ ,” said a soft voice. He appeared, a form in the darkness, but something wasn’t right. Lexa drew her other knife as Mik staggered forward and collapsed against Carver. Two arrows jutted from his back. Carver carefully positioned him so he could talk without the arrows hitting anything.

“Ambush,” Mik managed. “But…I took three…with me. They have…Gina. Going to Nia.” He paused. “They think…she is _Wanheda_.”

“Which way?” Arling asked.

Mik mumbled something and Arling bent to hear, but Mik said nothing more.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” Lexa said. She pulled one of the arrows out of his back and sniffed. “Poison.” She broke the fletching off and put it in the pouch on her belt. Carver did the same with the other arrow. He handed the fletching to her, which she put with the other before she used her knife to cut one of his braids. That, too, she put in her pouch. It appeared _Azgeda had already taken his weapons._

“We must go,” she said. The poison worked quickly, so the _Azgeda_ who had Gina weren’t that far away. And within a short time, Arling brought them to a stop. Ahead, Lexa heard footsteps and soft voices. From the sounds, they were in a hurry, and not doing much to hide their passage. That might have been because they were already near Nia’s camp, because Lexa saw a soft glow through the trees, indicative of campfires. They had to act now.

She started forward, keeping low and moving to her left first then forward. Arling and Carver flanked her. They were close enough now that she counted four _Azgeda_ plus another figure among them, moving awkwardly. Probably Gina, with her hands bound. They could attack now, and would most likely be successful, but Nia’s camp was barely a hundred feet away and another group of _Azgeda_ was on its way toward them. Lexa hit the ground, not moving. Arling and Carver did the same, and they might as well have been part of the landscape, so still they were.

Lexa caught parts of the conversation along with raucous laughter and then all the warriors went back to the camp. Arling caught Lexa’s eye and she nodded. There was no time to think about their next move. They simply had to make one.

They moved along the periphery of the camp once the last of the warriors they’d been following entered. Lexa assessed the security, which involved a few sentries standing near tents watching the surrounding forest. There had to be scouts nearby, but she heard nothing to indicate that such was the case.

Carver stopped and motioned to their left, deeper into the woods. He held up two fingers and Lexa hunkered next to a tree, listening. These _Azgeda_ were quiet, placing their feet carefully. The wet ground and underbrush was helping mask their movements.

They waited for the scouts to pass them, moving in the opposite direction, before they continued conducting surveillance along the perimeter. The encampment’s tents—dozens of them—were spaced a few feet apart, presenting a wall of sorts to the forests. Soft voices and laughter drifted toward them over the closest tents. The fires were tended, which suggested they had stocked up on dry wood and managed to keep it dry. That was unfortunate, because entering the camp would have been much safer without the firelight.

A single sentry stood within Lexa’s knife-throwing range, his back to the tents, but he might make noise as he died if she employed that method. They stopped and watched him for a few moments. No one else joined him. Lexa motioned for Arling to move a few feet back and Carver picked up a stick and tossed it behind him. It hit a tree with a soft thud and the sentry immediately tensed, alert.

He walked closer to their position, spear at the ready. Arling made a soft animal-like noise in the back of his throat and the sentry froze, then relaxed. He turned around and Lexa was on him before he’d taken one step. She drew her knife across his throat with one hand while she clamped his nose and mouth shut with her other. He struggled a little, but then started to collapse. She lowered him to the ground, keeping his mouth covered.

Moments later, Arling and Carver dragged him into the forest where Carver removed the man’s cloak and put it on. He put the hood up, retrieved the spear, and took up the spot where the man had stood. Lexa and Arling pulled the body farther away and hid it beneath a recently fallen tree. Thankfully, a heavier rain began to fall. It would help hide their activities and delay Nia taking Gina to the mountain.

She caught Arling’s gaze and he nodded as he put his own hood up. They emerged from the forest and walked past Carver between two tents into the camp. Lexa’s hood was large enough that it concealed her face and the painted tattoo. The rain ensured that she had a reason for the hood, and as the rain began to fall even harder, they walked deliberately, heads down, as if they were merely on the way to their own tent.

A few _Azgeda_ stood in the center of the camp near the fires. Lexa counted five in this area, and already four were out, the smoke from them quickly dispersed by the downpour. Other _Azgeda_ sat or stood just inside the doorways of their tents, and a few sentries paced along the inner perimeter. Weak light glowed within some of the tents, and she guessed there were braziers and candles within, providing some light and warmth.

Lexa moved toward the center of camp, which is where Nia’s tent likely was, and she would probably want Gina close. Not in her own quarters, but somewhere nearby. They worked their way between more tents.

“ _Heya_ ,” said a male voice from one of the tent’s interiors. “ _Gyon au raun_ ,”18 he said, and his tone was lighthearted.

Arling slowed. “ _Sha_ ,” he said, altering his voice to sound deeper and harsher, implementing the rougher accent of _Azgeda_. “ _Dison rein laik nomajoka_ ,”19 he said and the man laughed. He sounded like he might have been drinking. Lexa caught Arling’s gaze for a moment and he flashed a quick grin. In circumstances like this, she was always glad he was with her because he was able to adjust quickly and improvise.

They emerged into a more open space for common use. Four firepits smoked, and two sentries stood near them, talking in low tones. Lexa led Arling across the open space back into a maze of tents, glad the rain continued to pour. Arling’s light touch on her arm made her stop. He gestured with his chin. Another open space area, but in the center was a tent much larger than the others, and six sentries stood around it, under makeshift covers. Three held torches and they squatted beneath the covers, keeping the flames away from the canvas.

Light flickered within, casting shadows against the tent wall. A candle, perhaps. She and Arling withdrew and worked their way between the surrounding tents to get a sense of the position of Nia’s tent and where the sentries stood. They made it to a vantage point on the opposite side when Lexa stopped. Two sentries stood outside one of the smaller tents that ringed Nia’s. She moved closer, because she was sure she heard voices within the smaller tent.

She crouched near the back of the tent, listening, while Arling stood nearby as a lookout.

“—to _Maun-de_ ,” said a woman’s voice and Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. She’d know those supercilious tones anywhere, and they triggered the part of her that still longed for revenge, still longed to exact the price Costia had paid. She suppressed it and listened harder, though the rain hitting the tent made it difficult to pick out every word.

“Let us hope that Emerson will accept your willingness to meet his demands,” Nia said.

No one responded.

“But for you it doesn’t matter. You will die either way. Once again, your _Heda_ has abandoned you at the mountain.”

Lexa quelled the rage boiling within, forced herself not to tear through the tent and unleash it. Instead, she stepped away and moved close to Arling.

“We need a distraction,” she said near his ear. “Wait for my signal.”

He nodded and she repositioned herself in a crouch at the rear of the tent, listening. She heard movement within, and what might have been the tent flap opening.

“ _Chit yu dula_?” 20 demanded a nearby male voice. He must have approached from another tent.

Lexa immediately fell onto her knees and moaned and coughed.

Arling bent over her. “ _Em laik haken_ ,”21 he said to the man.

“What means this?”

Lexa retched at the sound of Nia’s voice, then coughed.

“ _Ai plana_ ,”22 Arling said in the most obsequious tone Lexa had ever heard him use, “ _Em laik haken. Foto steiks_.” 23

Lexa coughed again. “ _Bosh moba_ , _ai plana_ ,”24 she said in a weak, trembling voice, fighting an urge to actually vomit on Nia’s boots, which were within reach. She tilted her head a bit to get a look at her.

The hood of Nia’s cloak did not hide her face, and she glared down at her, the light from the sentry’s torch revealing her facial scars and the cold expression in her eyes. Like a snake, Nia’s eyes. Devoid of warmth and filled with the calculation of a predator. The side of Lexa’s face decorated with false tattoos was nearest the tent, fortunately, but her hood did an excellent job of hiding her features.

“ _Sis em au en gyon op_ ,” the sentry ordered. Arling immediately hauled Lexa to her feet, but she remained doubled over. She moaned again.

“ _Gyon au_ ,” Nia ordered. “Out of my sight.”

“ _Sha_ , _ai plana_ ,” both Arling and Lexa said. He walked her away from Nia and she continued to feign illness until they were several tents away.

“ _Nomajoka_ ,” Arling muttered as he released her.

She grinned and he pointed at the closest tent. The flap was tied open and two lighted candles stood on the ground in the tent’s interior. They moved closer, a strange rumbling emanating from inside.

Lexa drew her knife and peered within. One large man sleeping, his snores almost as loud as the rain. She ducked inside, and the smell of liquor assailed her nostrils. A waterskin lay on the ground next to him and she carefully picked it up and sniffed. The source of his stupor. Lexa opened it and squeezed a stream of alcohol from the man’s furs to the back wall of the tent, which she liberally doused. She had enough to do the same with the wall opposite him and then she placed the skin on the ground next to him.

He mumbled something and she froze, knife ready. He snorted and rolled onto his side. She picked up one of the candles and angled its flame next to the streaks of liquor on the back of the tent, where it seemed to tentatively lick the canvas surface before finding purchase and spreading along the trails she had left for it.

She left the candle on its side next to the other after ensuring that the flames spread to the other wall and along the ground. Arling closed the tent flap when she stepped outside and they moved quickly and ducked between another row of tents and then slowed their pace.

A series of screams sounded and Lexa saw the glow of fire and heard shouts and curses as people burst from their own tents. Lexa entered the closest recently vacated tent and kicked the brazier over onto the bedding. When she reappeared, Arling went into another nearby tent and presumably did the same thing. Twice more they did it as they worked their way back to the tent Lexa was sure held Gina.

The first tent was engulfed, even in the rain. The neighboring tents’ exteriors were too damp to catch, but people were moving them out of the way regardless, creating more chaos. Lexa took a position at a tent near Gina’s, and waited.

Nia was standing outside her own tent shouting at her sentries, and pointing at the flames when somebody else shouted from the second area Lexa and Arling had vandalized. Nia swore and ran toward the new fire, her sentries following, and Lexa darted into the dark interior of Gina’s tent.

She found Gina on her side near the entrance, bound and gagged. “Shh,” Lexa said as she cut her free and removed the gag. “Can you walk?”

Gina nodded and Lexa helped her up and looped her arm over her shoulder and hauled her out of the tent, figuring that her legs were probably numb from the bindings. Arling got on the other side of her and they half-carried her back into the maze of tents, moving away from the fires they had caused.

They were halfway to the place where they’d left Carver when Nia’s urgent shouts about intruders rousted more _Azgeda_ , this time closer to their location. Lexa let go of Gina and drew her swords as the first warrior spotted them and bellowed. She dispatched him easily but he was replaced by two more, shouting for help.

Lexa left them wounded. “Stay close,” she said to Gina as Arling hung back and took care of another warrior. He ran to catch up and they barreled between tents, dodging the growing crowd of warriors chasing them. Arling grunted in pain and Lexa slowed, checking over her shoulder.

“Keep going,” he said, but she shoved Gina aside and in a flurry of motion and blades, took the _Azgeda_ warrior closest to him down. She dodged the next, sliced then kicked, and Arling finished him off. Fortunately, the limited space between tents didn’t allow a full attack, so they were able to work their way backward, stabbing and jabbing, but Lexa knew there wasn’t much time before _Azgeda_ employed archers. She increased the ferocity and speed of her attacks, driving the warriors closest to her back several paces and leaving a few bodies in her wake.

Another warrior leaped over a fallen comrade and attacked with a sword in one hand, a long knife in the other. She was strong and quick and Lexa barely had time to maneuver into a better position before the warrior lunged. Lexa twisted then immediately shifted right back and slammed into her, knocking her into a tent. The hood of her cloak slipped and Lexa registered her features—Ontari—before she turned away.

“Go,” she ordered, and Arling grabbed Gina and ran at full speed, Lexa on their heels, the shouts of _Azgeda_ surrounding them. They burst out of the encampment so suddenly that a few _Azgeda_ stumbled and Carver and Arling took care of them before they regained their balance. The warriors behind them hesitated and at that moment, Gina stepped forward and threw something at them. “Down,” she yelled.

Lexa thought she caught a glimpse of it—something small and metal—and then she did what Gina requested. And within the time it took to draw two breaths, a massive explosion rocked the camp, its shockwaves flattening several tents. Screams and hoarse shouts sounded strange in her ears, distant. A ringing reverberated through her skull as hands grabbed her and pulled her into the forest and she stared as Tam—Tam?—fired several arrows past her into the billowing smoke and flames, eliciting more screams. Carver took care of two _Azgeda_ as they burst out of the flames and Lexa started toward him but Tam yanked her away.

She allowed herself to be pulled deeper into the forest and then hauled onto a horse behind Tam. Arling and Gina were on another horse while Mora and Carver rode a third. Lexa held on, her ears still ringing. They arrived at her camp a while later, and she could finally hear correctly when they did. The rain had stopped and fires had been lit.

“ _Lid fisa in_ ,” she ordered the warriors who surrounded the horse as she dismounted. “ _Chek Arling en Ginah kom Skaikru au_.” 25

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” said the closest warrior and she ran toward one of the tents on the other side of the camp.

Lexa turned to Gina. “Go to the fire. The healer will be with you soon.”

“Thank you.” She hesitated. “But—I don’t know who you are.”

She smiled. “Clarke calls me Lexa.”

Gina’s eyes widened. “The Commander? _Heda_?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Go warm up. The healer will also bring food and water.” She called another warrior over. “ _Lid oukou in_.” 26 She gestured at Gina and the warrior dipped his head and left. “We will talk in a little while,” she said to Gina.

“Thank you.” She went over to the closest firepit and sank to the ground next to it.

Lexa called another warrior over. “ _Weron Kane_?” 27

“ _Ai lok em op_.” 28 He left and someone handed her a waterskin. She drank deeply and then regarded Tam for a moment before she motioned her to the firepit where a healer was examining Gina. The warmth helped with the damp and chill that she still carried.

“What happened?” Lexa asked Tam.

“I was on my way here from Indra and the drop ship, but I found Mora before I arrived. So we all went to Nia’s camp. We thought you might need some help.”

She smiled. “It appears we did. And now Nia will think _Skaikru_ came to relieve her of her prisoner.”

“I’ll send a scout to Indra to prepare for retaliation on Arkadia.”

“Nia will not do that,” she said, tone grim.

Tam frowned, confused.

“I sent her a message earlier, with the help of one of her loyalists. She should receive it soon.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“He was captured in the earlier attack. I told him to let her know that the _kongeda_ is aware of her deal with Emerson and that we consider her attack on our forces earlier today an act of war. She will not push me further this night because she believes that Emerson will launch his missiles very soon. Tonight’s losses at her camp are acceptable for that outcome.”

“Will he launch before the fifth day?”

“It’s possible.” Lexa took another drink. “But we have taken precautions both here and at Arkadia.”

“ _Heda_ ,” said another warrior. He held a dry blanket and she divested herself of the wet cloak. He also handed her a small loaf of bread and a hunk of dried meat. Wrapped in the blanket, she took a couple of bites, chewed, then resumed questioning Tam.

“What news from Indra?”

“Clarke went into the mountain a few hours ago.”

“Yes. Arkadia let Kane know. He told me.”

“Indra says there are fifty _Azgeda_ near Arkadia. She suspects they are waiting for a missile attack. She has forces ready for that. Also, another _Skaikru_ went to the mountain.”

Lexa finished chewing and swallowed. “ _Sha_. _Reivin kom Skaikru_.”

Tam nodded. “Wash and Lincoln are with her. She may be able to help stop the missiles should Emerson fire them.”

She finished the bread and washed it down with water.

“ _Heda_ ,” said the healer who had been talking to Gina. “ _Yu gaf ai chek yu au_?” 29

“No. _Mochof._ _Ginah kom Skaikru na rid ai wogeda op_.” 30

“ _Sha_.”

“Arling?”

“ _Os_. A superficial cut.” The healer left the firepit.

Lexa looked at Gina. “You will sleep in my quarters,” she said, and Gina’s expression was a mixture of gratitude and awe. Lexa waited for her to speak.

“I guess I can’t believe that the actual Commander came to my rescue.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well...” she hesitated. “There isn’t the best history between our people. And you’re the Commander. Don’t Commanders order people to do things like that?”

Lexa smiled. “If I was not willing to do such things, my people would not trust my leadership.”

“I think I see why Clarke likes you.”

A little thrill tickled her spine at that.

“Because that’s how she is. I don’t know her well, but she’s willing to do what a lot of others aren’t.”

“So are you.” Lexa motioned at her hair.

“Given the circumstances, it was the right thing.”

“We do what we must.” She finished the water in the skin. “Tell me,” she continued, “what you threw at _Azgeda_.”

Gina grinned. “An invention of one of my friends at Arkadia. She put it in my pack when we left Arkadia and I didn’t realize it was there until we stopped to rest on our way to the mountain. I put it in my pocket and Nia’s warriors didn’t find it.”

“Is Raven this friend?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Clarke told me of Raven and her skill with explosives.” The healer returned and Lexa smiled at Gina. “Go rest. There may not be time later.”

“Thank you, _Heda_ ,” she said, the word unfamiliar and slightly accented. She followed the healer and Lexa turned her attention back to Tam.

“ _Mochof_.”

“I told you, _Heda_ , I am honored to serve you. And I bring a message from Clarke.”

Lexa had been just about to take another bite of meat but she stopped and waited instead.

“I told her what you said—that she is always welcome in Polis, and that it would require several more knife-throwing lessons.” She stopped and gave Lexa a sly look. “She says that your invitation is one she will not refuse, and she wants you to know that she requires several more lessons.”

Lexa fought a smile even as her heart pounded. “Should you see her before I do, tell her she can have as many lessons as she likes.”

Tam smiled. “I will. And now you must rest a bit, _Heda_.”

She knew Tam was right. Fatigue dragged on her bones. She would do Clarke no good if she was exhausted. She started to go, then turned suddenly. “You fired several arrows tonight.”

“With _Azgeda_ fletching.”

Lexa nodded. “Well done,” she said as she watched Kane approach. Tam excused herself and Kane joined her at the fire.

" _Heda_ ," he said. "There was an explosion."

"So there was. Come," she said. "We must talk, because time is short." She turned and strode toward her tent, Kane at her side, thinking of nothing but Clarke and the mountain that had loomed between them for so long in ways both literal and metaphorical. She had to trust that Clarke could take care of herself, and that the people with her would help keep her safe. She had to. But as she entered her tent it was a much harder prospect than she had anticipated.

  
6 _Hani stedaunon_? How many dead?   
7 _Thri_ , _Heda_. _Wan Floukru_ , _du_ _Trikru_ : Three, _Heda_. One _Floukru_ , two _Trikru_.   
8 _Fai stedaunon_. _Du don hon daun_ : Five dead [in reference to Lexa’s query about how many _Azgeda_ ]. Two are captured.   
9 _Weron don kika gonot raun_? Where did the survivors go? [“gonot raun” means they left quickly]   
10 _Gon Maun-de_ : [they went] to Mt. Weather.   
11 _Gyon au gon fisa_ : Go to a healer   
12 _Shof op_ : Shut up [you've seen this one before...heh]   
13 _Beja_. _. .ron ai wamplei op_ : Please…give me death   
14 _Hoz op_ : Let’s go   
15 _Ai laik Mora kom Trikru_ … _En Farel kom Trikru_ : I am [it’s] Mora of/from _Trikru_ …and Farel of/from _Trikru_   
16 _Os. Ai laik Arling_ _en thri mou Trikru_ : Good. I am [it’s] Arling kom/of _Trikru_ and/with three more _Trikru_   
17 _Ginah* kom Skaikru:_ Gina of/from _Skaikru_ [technically, the correct phonetic spelling of Gina would probably be Jinah, since Trigedasleng doesn’t have the “ee” phonetic construction or the “G” that sounds like “J,” but “Jinah” looks like it should be pronounced “Jy-nuh” and if you say that fast, you’ll see why it’s problematic. LOL! So I’m sticking with the “G” here.]   
18 _Gyon au raun_ *: Get in [I took some liberties, here. Peterson doesn’t have a term for “inside,” but “raun” means “in” and technically, “gyon au” means “go,” but in some contexts, I’m guessing it could mean “get in.”]   
19 _Dison rein laik nomajoka_ : This rain is a motherfucker [ _nomajoka_ means motherfucker]   
20 _Chit yu dula?_ What are you doing?   
21 _Em laik haken_ : She’s sick   
22 _Ai plana_ : My queen   
23 _Foto steiks_ : Bad meat   
24 _Bosh moba, ai plana_ : Apologies, my queen   
25 _Lid fisa in_ … _Chek Arling en Ginah kom Skaikru au_ : Bring a healer…[to] check Arling and Gina   
26 _Lid oukou in_ : Bring a coat   
27 _Weron Kane?_ Where’s Kane?   
28 _Ai lok op_ : I’ll find [him—find Kane, here]   
29 _Yu gaf ai chek yu au_? Do you want me to check you over?   
30 _Ginah kom Skaikru na rid ai wogeda op_ : Gina of/from _Skaikru_ will sleep in my quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another longish chapter. Been slammed all week so it's just this one, but it is longish, so there's that. Gonna try to get another one ready for next Friday...
> 
> Well, shit is getting real outside the mountain, too. Can't Heda ever get a break? LOL And you got to briefly meet Nia. Pretty sure Lexa would have preferred different circumstances, but when you're in that situation, you improvise. Heh.
> 
> Time's running short...next time we'll find out what's up with our other kru. ;)
> 
> Thanks so much for joining me on this trip. Hope you're enjoying it. Thank you SO MUCH for the comments and kudos. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but don't freak if I don't. I'll get to 'em!
> 
> Some songs that helped me in the writing of this chapter: Kaleo, "Way Down We Go"; Josef Salvat, "Open Season" (Gryffin remix); Skylines, "Glades"


	46. Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of shit goes sideways for Clarke and her kru in the mountain when they find out they don't have nearly as much time as they thought. Plus, they're confronted by enemies old and new and it's not just time they're racing.

Octavia motioned everyone to crouch behind the open door, which blocked the view from the corridor. She took a position against the wall with them, but remained standing so she could see through the door’s window. Clarke gripped the handle of her knife so hard her hand hurt. Bellamy squeezed her shoulder and it helped calm her racing heart.

“Check the rooms,” said a male voice and Clarke’s heart sank into her boots as the sound of running feet passed them.

Octavia held up three fingers and then Sam stood and before anybody could stop him, he practically threw himself out of the room.

“Shit,” Bellamy muttered as he jerked to his feet. Clarke stood, too, and grabbed his arm and pulled him back before he followed Sam.

“Wait,” she said.

“Hey,” Sam yelled down the corridor. “Lock the damn door next time.”

Clarke heard surprised exclamations and then she heard Sam run in the opposite direction.

“Now,” Clarke said, realizing what he was doing. She pulled Bellamy with her and as the three _natrona_ ran past their room, they all burst into the corridor. Bellamy had drawn his gun. The _natrona_ stopped, startled at this new force that had suddenly appeared.

“On your knees,” he said in his authoritative tone and it worked. All three—two men and a woman—did what he requested. “Hands in the air,” Bellamy said. “Get their guns,” he ordered and Octavia and Monty disarmed them.

“What the hell?” one said. “Bellamy?”

Clarke glanced at Bellamy. He kept his attention on the three people kneeling in the corridor. Sam came jogging back and Octavia handed him a pistol, which he trained on the back of one of the men.

“Yeah,” Bellamy said. “Leave it at that.”

“Sam?” said the woman.

He avoided her gaze and Bellamy motioned at the room they’d been hiding in. “Go.” He kept his gun on them as they filed into the room. “Take your pants and shirts off.”

The man who had spoken looked at his companions, uneasy, then at Bellamy. “What? C’mon, man. It’s me.”

“You heard me. Pants and shirts, off. Hats, too.”

They did as he requested, though the one who knew Bellamy took his time.

“On your knees,” Bellamy ordered after they’d all put their clothing in a pile. He gestured at the pile. “Somebody take this outside. Get the access cards.”

Monty gathered the clothing and did as Bellamy requested. Harper replaced it with a pile of blankets. Bellamy gave her a disapproving look, but she shrugged. “These rooms are cold. Consider it a favor for people we used to know.”

“Emerson knows there was a security breach,” the woman said. She looked vaguely familiar and Clarke wondered if she’d run into her on the Ark before she’d been sent to the ground.

“And?” Clarke said.

“He’ll have Pike send more,” she said, almost triumphant.

“Why doesn’t he come himself?” she pushed. “Not like he doesn’t do his own dirty work.”

“What the hell does that mean?” one of the men asked.

“He’s going to fire the missiles anyway,” Clarke said. “Or did you not figure that out?” she added, acid in her tone.

“As soon as he has Griffin—”

“He’ll fire anyway,” Octavia said. “He’s all about revenge on Clarke, and the only reason he wants her here is so he can force her to watch him wipe Arkadia and Polis out, and then kill her friends.”

The three stared at her.

“Emerson doesn’t give a shit about any of you,” she said. “He just likes the backup. And maybe breeding stock, since he’s planning on killing hundreds.”

“That’s not what he said,” one of the men said.

“Of course it’s not, so you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own. He’s the last of his people. Clarke is responsible for that. What the hell do you _think_ he wants with her?”

He didn’t respond.

“So maybe you want to tell us where the missile silo access tunnel is.” Bellamy held his gun on the woman.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“None of us do,” one of the men said.

Clarke stared at them, skeptical.

“We don’t know,” he said again.

“What level are you based on?” Bellamy asked.

“Five.”

“Shut up,” the woman said to the man who had answered.

“And Emerson?”

Nobody responded and Bellamy took a menacing step forward. Clarke grabbed his arm.

“Don’t. We need to go.”

He shook her hand off but backed away as Clarke ushered everyone out of the room. “Seal it,” she said, and Monty shut the door and waited a few seconds. A red light shone on the ID pad.

“Now what?” he asked.

“Get dressed.” Bellamy handed him a shirt and a pair of pants. “You’re about that one guy’s size.”

“Really?” His expression registered distaste.

“Do it. It might provide extra cover.” He put one of the other shirts on over his own and buttoned it. Then he took his boots off, dropped his own trousers, and put on one of the other pairs. “Seems like old times,” he muttered as he laced his boots up again and put his own pants in his pack.

Monty finished dressing and Clarke took his clothing and put it in her pack.

“I hate this,” he said. “I’ll need the longest shower ever.”

Harper stifled a nervous laugh and Bellamy handed her the last set of clothing. “See if those work for you.”

She groaned but did what he asked. The pants were a bit baggy, but not in such a way that they would detract from anything she was doing. Bellamy put her clothes in his pack then distributed access cards to Monty, Clarke, and Sam and pistols to Harper, Sam, and Octavia. Jasper gave him a hard stare, but didn’t say anything.

“Back to the plan.” Bellamy led them down the corridor to the med lab. “Clarke, you, Monty, and Sam try to access the system in Dante’s office. We’re going to find the silo access and try to do some damage along the way. There aren’t that many people in here anymore, but stay alert. And if you see Emerson, shoot to kill.”

“No,” Clarke said.

Everybody looked at her.

“He might have programmed something into the system that requires him to check in at specific intervals and if he doesn’t, the missiles might launch.”

“Clarke’s right,” Monty said. “And I’m guessing he’s on level four. That’s life support.”

“The computer room,” she said. “Of course.” They could go directly to Emerson and stop him.

Bellamy shook his head, as if he was reading her mind. “No. Just bypass it and try to get in through Dante’s office.”

“I have an idea.”

Everybody looked at Monty, who pointed at one of the machines that had been used for whatever horrible medical experiments the Mountain Men had been doing. It stood near a bed. “Keyboard. Screen. Probably tied into the network here.”

Clarke stared at him, then at the computer, then back at him. She hadn’t even made the connection.

“Well, hell. Give it a shot,” Bellamy said. “Sam and Octavia, keep watch. Everybody else, stay quiet.”

Monty stood at the machine and made a show of cracking his knuckles before he touched a few keys on the keyboard. Nothing happened. “Okay,” he muttered as he studied the machine. He pressed a switch and a low hum emanated from it. The screen slowly lit up and Clarke and Bellamy moved closer.

“Is there enough power?” she asked in a low voice.

Monty shrugged. “Let’s hope.”

Finally the machine finished powering on and Monty’s fingers flew over the keyboard.

“Give the man some room,” Jasper said.

Clarke stepped back automatically and it occurred to her that he had addressed her in his usual tone, though he wasn’t looking at her. He was staring at the screen.

She started pacing, from where Monty worked to the doorway into the corridor and back. It had only been a few minutes, but she chafed at how long it seemed to be taking him.

“Relax,” Octavia said softly. “You’ll make him nervous.”

“You’re definitely making _me_ nervous.” Sam glanced down the corridor again.

“Sorry.” Clarke paced back toward Monty then returned to the door.

“Clarke,” Octavia said. “Can you pace in a different direction, maybe?”

“I’m in,” Monty said softly and Clarke hurried over to him. “Let’s see what schematics we can find—yes. There.” He pointed. “Looks like there’s a silo access point off levels two and four.”

Bellamy leaned in. “Where?”

Monty enlarged the schematic. “There. Here’s hoping your access cards can get you in. Then it’s a walk to another door.”

“If not, we’ll shoot something, see if that’ll disconnect anything.” Bellamy muttered, sarcastic. He studied the screen.

“Make sure you don’t use all your ammo on the first access point. There are a couple of others.” He pointed them out. “Once you’re in, you’ll find them easy enough. There’s only one way to go to the silo.”

“Easy enough.”

Jasper snorted but Bellamy ignored him. “We’ll go to four,” he said. “Monty, can you get into the rest of the system from here?”

“I think so.”

“Do it. It’ll save you a trip to level seven.”

Monty worked at the keyboard for a few more minutes. “Whoa. I’m in the video system.”

Several different windows opened on the screen, showing different parts of the mountain.

“Shit, there’s Pike,” Jasper said, pointing at one of the windows.

“What level is that?” Bellamy asked.

“Six.” Monty adjusted the angle. Pike was talking to Sanders in a corridor, and several others stood around them. From their body language, they appeared tense.

“Okay, so, something’s stressing them out,” Monty said. “Let’s see who else we can find.”

He kept the camera view up with Pike and Sanders but scanned the others. “Hello. Does this guy look familiar?”

Clarke leaned closer and her heart seemed to stop and her stomach clenched.

“Fucking Emerson,” Bellamy muttered and she appreciated that he voiced her sentiments exactly. “Where is that?”

“Seven. He’s in Dante’s office.” Monty enhanced the feed. “What is he doing?”

“He’s looking for something.” She studied his movements as he opened the drawers of Dante’s desk and rummaged through. “Can you get a different angle?”

Monty typed and the view of Emerson switched to the side. “He’s definitely looking for something.”

“And he’s not finding it,” Jasper said as Emerson threw something from the desk against the wall. It fell to the floor where it splashed.

Splashed? “Monty, can you zoom in on the floor?”

He did and Clarke leaned in. “Why is there water on the floor?”

Bellamy leaned in, too. “Damn. That’s probably three inches.”

Emerson got up from the desk and Clarke watched him walk across the floor. He was ankle-deep in water. “Do you think when Raven and Wick took out the turbines that it might have affected something else? Where else would the water be coming from?”

“Could be the mountain always had a tendency to flood but now with less power, its pumps aren’t handling it well,” Monty offered.

“When was the last time anybody from Arkadia was on that level?” Clarke looked at Bellamy over Monty’s head.

“I don’t know. Probably a month or two ago. Standard sweep. Nobody said anything about water.”

“Slow leak?” Monty asked.

Emerson left Dante’s office. “Let me see the corridor feed,” Clarke said and Monty called it up. She watched him walk. “The only thing on that level is Dante’s office. So if there’s a flooding issue, it shouldn’t take too long to fill. Bring up level 6.”

Monty did and she and Bellamy studied the feeds. Pike and Sanders were still talking with the others, though Pike was gesturing emphatically and Sanders appeared to be uncomfortable.

“There,” Monty said. He pointed at a grainy feed from a darkened room.

“What is that?” Clarke couldn’t tell exactly which room it was or what was happening.

He enhanced it. “One of the gyms. Look at the floor.” He adjusted the angle and Clarke caught a reflection of the dim light above in it.

“Water. So the flooding doesn’t originate on level seven.”

“The gyms sit a little lower, on the schematics,” Monty said. “Could be that’s why they’re showing it and the corridors aren’t.”

“And it’s probably what they’re talking about.” Bellamy gestured at the feed that showed Pike throwing up his hands in disgust before he stalked away from the group.

“So what’s happening?” Harper asked.

“Maybe a pump failure, like Monty said.” Clarke chewed her lip. “Can you check the other levels?”

“Okay.” Again, his fingers moved over the keyboard in a blur and for the next few minutes, they studied images from different levels.

“Some on five and four, but it shouldn’t affect the silo access.” Monty glanced at Clarke. “We have to check this level.”

She nodded but Bellamy reached across Monty and grabbed her arm. “Stay here. Sam, you and Octavia check for water down the quarantine corridor. I’ll take Jasper and check the other lab.”

He left before Clarke said anything else. She turned back to the screen. “Levels two and one.”

Monty nodded. “The warehouse on two, maybe.” After a couple of minutes of studying images from the dimly lit warehouse, he honed in on the science labs. “Yeah. Got some flooding in a lab,” he muttered.

“Check the other one,” Clarke said.

He did and she stared at the screen. “Can’t tell. Let’s just assume it’ll flood soon. Go to level one.”

“Damn,” Monty muttered. “The warehouse does appear to have some water in it.”

“Where’s Emerson?”

“Don’t know…let’s see…” The feeds panned the levels. Pike showed up in the mess hall on level five and Clarke forced herself to keep her eyes on the screen, to face the room in which all of the Mountain Men had died when she pulled the lever. There was no sign of what happened, now and in some ways it made her feel worse, as if the mountain mocked her by erasing the past when she couldn’t. Now it was just Pike talking to a few others at one of the tables. He kept glancing at the door, so he was expecting someone.

“Found him,” Monty said. “Level four. Life support. As we suspected.”

She focused on the image of Emerson, who was working at a computer terminal. “What’s he doing?”

“Hold on.” He opened a window and typed a bunch of code in. “Let’s see if I can get into that machine…”

Clarke chewed her lip and glanced at Harper, who was watching Monty.

“Ah. Here we go. He’s checking the water system. And look at this.”

Clarke did, but she wasn’t sure what exactly she was seeing in the code, scrolling red across the screen.

“The mountain uses pumps to regulate water throughout,” Monty explained. “The water comes from the dam, and it’s filtered before it circulates in the different levels. The filtration system has failed and the pumps are failing. Which means the water from the dam is pushing into the system, which can’t handle it. Let me run a projection.”

Clarke glanced at the door then back at the screen. If the water system was failing as Monty said, that could work in their favor or against.

“It’ll take a while to flood the levels,” Monty said, “at the current rate. However, the longer the water from the dam has to push through the pipes, it’s just a matter of time before they fail. And when they do, flooding will accelerate.”

“So how long?” Harper asked.

Monty shrugged. “If the pumps manage to hold at their current rate, it’ll be a few days. If they don’t—” he caught Clarke’s gaze. “Hours.”

“Emerson will launch before that happens.” Clarke straightened. “We have to shut the system down now.”

“Hold up. Weird comm.” Monty made an adjustment and apparently turned sound on because Pike’s voice emanated through a speaker, tinny and scratchy, but audible.

“What do you mean, fires in Nia’s camp?” he said.

“Get up here and see the feeds for yourself,” Emerson responded and Clarke clenched her teeth momentarily at the sound of his voice.

“Can we access the outside feeds?” she asked and Monty again pounded out several keystrokes.

“Should be able to. Let me—there.”

“Can you enhance it?”

“Switching to night mode.”

Clarke stared. “The camp’s about a mile or two from the entrance. That does look like fires.”

“How can you tell? It looks like it’s pouring out there.” Harper crossed her arms and glared at the screen.

“Here and here,” Clarke said, pointing to a couple of jiggling pinpricks. “Those would have to be substantial fires for the feed to pick it up—” she stopped as a blinding flash inundated the window that denoted the feed.

“What the hell?” Monty entered a few more commands. “I can’t get a better zoom than this.”

“That was an explosion,” Harper said. “Bomb.”

“The only people out there who have access to explosives are Raven—”

“Gina,” Clarke said, interrupting Monty. She stared at Harper. “She said she didn’t want any, but Raven might have given her one, anyway.”

“You’re saying Nia has Gina?” Monty’s eyes widened.

“Maybe not anymore.” Clarke watched the feed, and the aftermath of the explosion remained, as several more pinpricks of light flared and bounced. Tents and trees, maybe? The rain would help put the fires out, but in the meantime, what was happening with Gina? She turned as Bellamy came in.

“Quarantine has sprung a leak,” he said. “At the far end.” He brushed past her and went into the harvest room. She and Octavia followed him.

“Seems okay in here,” he said as they walked into the holding room. Clarke told him and Octavia what Monty had said about the water and then brought him up to speed on the explosion from Nia’s camp. He stopped in the middle of the holding room and glared at her.

“You think it was Gina?”

“Who else would have a bomb? Kane doesn’t. Lexa doesn’t.”

“Could’ve been someone from the mountain,” Octavia said.

“How likely do you think that is? Who’s got the portable, ready-made explosions? Besides us?”

He exhaled in frustration. “So Nia has her?”

“Maybe not anymore,” Clarke said. “It seemed like a pretty good explosion. She might have been able to get away.”

He stalked away from her, toward the far end, Clarke and Octavia on his heels. “Gina’s smart. If that was her, she has a good shot at getting away,” Clarke said.

“I knew that was a bad idea.” He stopped and turned toward her. “What the hell is it with you? Putting people in danger like this? You do this all the damn time.”

She glared back at him, surprised at his accusation. “She made the decision to do it.”

“You pushed her,” he snapped. “The great Clarke speaks, and demands that everybody take up her cause, and they do it. They don’t even think about it.”

“That is not fair, and you know it,” she snapped back. “Cause? You mean the one where we stop Emerson from destroying Arkadia and Polis? _That_ cause? Gina agreed to do it. Her choice. Not mine. Not yours. Hers.”

“You fucking pressured her, Clarke.” He was practically shouting. “You always do.”

“Stop it, both of you.” Octavia stepped between them. “Clarke’s right. Gina made the choice. And Clarke has a pretty good record of saving her people, so, yeah. I’d say people listen to her.”

“Would you stop defending her?” Bellamy put his hands on his hips and directed his wrath at Octavia.

“I don’t have to.” Her tone was low and dangerous. “Her record speaks for itself. Look around you. You’re here again, after all. You could have said no. You didn’t. Why not?”

He started to respond, then clamped his mouth shut.

Clarke gritted her teeth to keep from saying something she’d regret. He cared about Gina, and was lashing out at the most obvious target.

“Quit it. Finish this when we’re done in here. Because we do not have much time.” Octavia pointed at the floor and Clarke followed the gesture.

“Shit,” she said. She was standing in a shallow pool of water that was slowly spreading past the soles of her boots, toward the harvest room door.

“Looks like Monty’s timetable just accelerated.” Octavia’s tone was grim. They all returned to the lab.

“Water in the holding room,” Bellamy announced to the others. “We need to get to the silo now. Have you been able to get into the weapons system?”

“Kind of,” Monty said. His tense expression was echoed on all the other faces.

“What?” Clarke said.

“I can’t seem to get into the control panel that controls the launch yet, but I did access the auxiliary data readouts. There’s one missile prepared to fire at Arkadia.” He pointed at a window on the screen, where big red numbers were counting down.

“Is that—”

“Yes.” Monty cut Bellamy off. “We have slightly less then two hours before it launches.”

No one spoke for a long moment.

“Is it just me, or is this really awkward?” Jasper said. Harper and Sam glared at him.

“All right,” Bellamy said, stopping further comment on Jasper’s statement. “Clarke and Sam, stay here with Monty. Keep trying to hack into the weapons system and monitor what everybody else is doing. Where’s Emerson now?”

“He and Pike and Sanders are on level four, in the life support room, maybe three others with them. We counted twenty-one others in the mess hall on level five.”

“Nobody’s searching for the three in quarantine?” That seemed strange. Clarke frowned.

“Not yet.”

“We need to get a message to Arkadia and Lexa,” Clarke said to Bellamy. “And Raven, if possible.”

“I can’t get a radio signal.”

“Then we need to get somebody outside to do that.”

“I’ll go.”

Everybody looked at Octavia.

“If I can’t get the radio to work, I can at least tell Arch and Lodin. One can alert Indra, and the other can get to Lexa and Kane. I can also go find Raven up top and she can radio.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked, Bellamy’s earlier words sharp in her mind.

“Completely.”

“O—” Bellamy started.

“I’m volunteering. I know the tunnels. And I also know Indra’s people. Give me the radio.” Her tone offered no room for protest. “And nobody is pressuring me,” she added, with a pointed look at him.

He took the radio out of his side pants pocket and handed it to her.

“Here,” Monty said as he held out the access card Bellamy had given her earlier.

“We’ll walk her to the tunnel access and then go to level four.” Bellamy held Clarke’s gaze. “Okay, Princess. My team is going to do what we can right now to disable the missile and the silo with explosives. Monty might be able to do it from here, but it’s best to have a backup. We’ll also create some diversions to draw attention from here. But that means once the timer on the first bomb counts down, we’re no longer in stealth mode.”

“How long before the first bomb goes?”

“Let’s say an hour from now. I’ll set the timers on two diversionary explosives to go off within five minutes of each other. If we have time to plant more, we will. Raven gave me four. When you hear the first one, get out.”

“You know I’m not leaving without anybody in this room,” Clarke said.

“I appreciate that, but if things are bad, some of us might have to leave through other exits. So whoever’s with you here, just grab and go.”

She started to respond then stopped. He was right, but she hadn’t gone back into the mountain to save her people only to leave without them. “Okay,” she finally said.

He clapped Monty on the shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Same to you. I’m going to try to disable video, too. But don’t take chances regardless.”

Bellamy nodded and looked at Clarke. “Good luck.”

“You, too,” she said.

He gave her a brusque nod, and she saw the stress in his eyes. He wouldn’t say goodbye, because that sounded too final and they were both still tense from his blow-up. Harper, Jasper, and Octavia followed him out. Her stomach lurched but she focused on Monty.

“I’ll keep watch,” Sam said and he went to the doorway to the corridor.

Monty focused again on the screen. “I’ll let you know what’s happening,” he said without looking at Clarke.

She left him alone. “Going to check the water level,” she said to Sam and he gave her a thumbs-up.

The harvest room was still dry. Clarke stepped into the holding room. The water had spread, but it was still about twenty feet from the harvest room. She walked through it to the far end of the holding room, stepping carefully. The closer she got to the wall, the deeper the water. There had to be pipes that ran behind the walls. And depending on how old they were and whether they were adequately maintained, several might have started leaking at once, given the pressure of the water that circulated through them.

Clarke took her flashlight out of her pack. The lighting back here was too dim to see much, and she moved the beam along the wall, looking for a location that would indicate a source of the leak. Not that it ultimately mattered, but she did want to find out what they were up against. She found it about ten feet off the ground. Water poured out of the air vent. So there was probably a pipe that ran along the vent and was leaking into it through access points. As she watched, the volume of water running down the wall seemed to increase. Or was she imagining it?

No, she wasn’t. A soft metallic groan emanated from the vent and as she watched, the grill bulged out from the wall as more and more water poured out of it. And then the grill gave way with a shriek and a pop, pushed by a torrent behind it that jetted into the room. She tried to dodge, but she wasn’t fast enough and water drenched her upper body.

“Clarke,” Sam said and he pulled her away, toward the harvest room. “Damn,” he said as the water spread faster across the floor. When they were back in the med lab, he pulled a blanket off one of the beds and handed it to her.

“What the hell?” Monty said.

“Bad news.” Sam gestured at Clarke. “Water’s pouring in through the air vent in the holding room. Pressure seems to be building.”

“I was afraid of that. The pipes aren’t built to take this much all at once. It’s why pumps and regulators were installed.”

“Isn’t there some kind of main shut-off?” Sam glanced at the screen. “The people who built this place had to have taken that into account.”

“There is,” Monty said. “At the dam. I’m guessing it was damaged when Raven and Wick blew the turbines a few months ago.”

“Well, this just keeps getting better and better.”

“Keep working on the weapons system,” Clarke said as she dried her hair. “That’s the most important thing.”

“Hold on. Let me check the other levels.” Monty brought up video feeds for levels six and seven. Clarke moved closer. The feed from Dante’s office showed that the water was halfway up his desk. Made sense, since that was a smaller space and wouldn’t take as long to fill as other levels, which had corridors and multiple rooms. Monty called up the feed from the stairwell from level seven to six. Water was halfway up the door.

“Is there a major breach somewhere in the stairwell? That’s a lot of water,” Clarke said.

“Could be there’s an access point for a water pipe there. At this point, we don’t know which pipes are going and which are still holding.” He checked stairwells on other levels. There was water running down steps on all levels. “That explains level seven. Water runs downhill. It’s pooling there.”

“So the stairs above that are passable.” Sam looked at him for confirmation.

“For now.” He opened feeds to level six. The gymnasium floors looked like they might be ankle-deep.

“Count on this getting worse.” Clarke tossed the blanket aside and ran her hands through her damp hair.

Monty studied her.

“What?”

“Not sure it matters,” he said, “but you’re almost back to your normal hair color.”

She shrugged. “Gina said the dye wouldn’t last very long. And we’re inside, now, so no point to it. Can we check on Bellamy?”

Monty’s fingers moved over the keyboard. “Found them. They’re on level four, approaching the silo access door.” The feed went black.

“What happened?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know. Could be the water is starting to affect some of the feeds. A couple on seven just went down, too.”

“Okay, forget the feeds. Just get into the weapons system.” She looked at Sam, trying not to think about what may or may not be happening on level four. “Let’s check quarantine again.”

He followed her out of the med lab and back down the corridor to the rooms. As Bellamy had said, water was slowly spreading on the far end, but that could change for the worse.

“What are we going to do with them?” Sam asked as they passed the room with the _natrona_ on their way back to the lab.

“Nothing.”

“What if the water situation gets worse?”

Clarke stopped and looked at him. “Those people would turn you over to Emerson in a heartbeat. They betrayed Arkadia. If we let them out, they will betray us again. For now, they stay there.” She started walking again. “Besides, it’s just a matter of time before someone comes looking for them.”

He didn’t respond and she was glad. Sam had come to the ground with them in the drop ship. He knew that choices could be harsh, and that sometimes survival depended on making them. She stopped again. “The woman. How do you know her?

He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. “Beth and I were friends when we were kids. She helped me out a couple of times.”

“That won’t change her mind now. She’ll turn you over to Emerson. She would have to, in here.”

He nodded, but glanced back down the corridor.

“Her people will come for them,” Clarke said, trying to sound reassuring, “and probably before the missile launches. For now, she stays in there to give us some time to take care of things. It’s better for all of us that way.”

He ran a hand over his dark, wiry hair and nodded. “I get it. I hear you on this, but it’s hard.”

“Yeah. I know.” She held his gaze then returned to the med lab.

“Lost some more feeds,” Monty said. “I’m guessing it’s the water.”

“What about the missile?”

“I’m trying to find a workaround, but the system has a lot of security protocols and I don’t want to trip anything that makes things worse.”

“Just keep at it.” She went back to the holding room, which was now completely dark. She turned her flashlight on. The water was probably affecting electricity, too. She could hear a steady stream from the back, like a waterfall, and the outer edge of the spreading pool was a few paces from the door to the harvest room.

“Shit,” Sam said behind her. They went back into the med lab and Clarke grabbed a couple of blankets off the beds and shoved them against the crack under the door between the harvest and holding rooms. It might buy extra time. She did the same with the door between the harvest room and the med lab.

“We’re losing power,” Monty said as the lights overhead flickered. The screen dimmed and he froze, his hands poised over the keyboard. The countdown clock still registered. The missile would launch in about ninety minutes and the first of the explosives Bellamy’s team set were supposed to blow in about thirty. The screen brightened and Monty went back to work. Sam took a position at the door into the corridor.

“What’s the status?” Clarke asked as she looked over Monty’s shoulder.

“I’ve gotten through the first two layers of protocols. There’re a couple more, but I’ve found some traps, so I have to be careful.”

She watched him for a bit, thinking. Emerson had access to security codes throughout the mountain. He might not have been much of a hacker-type like Monty, but he wouldn’t have to be if there were already systems in place that he could just plug codes in to activate them.

“Clarke,” Sam said, beckoning her over. He pointed at the ceiling of the corridor. She turned her flashlight on. Water was dripping down the ceiling’s light fixture attachments and as they watched, two of the corridor lights dimmed then died.

“Monty, you need to hurry,” Clarke said, keeping her voice calm.

“Get in here and shut the door,” he said. “And lock it. Check the other doors, too.”

She grabbed Sam and pulled him in and did as Monty said. “What’s going on?”

“Company.” He pointed at one of the video feeds. Four people were moving slowly down the quarantine corridor, guns drawn. The last light in the med lab went out and the screen cast an eerie glow around the room. Clarke grabbed the last blanket off a nearby bed and put it on the floor next to the door to block the screen’s light from seeping into the corridor. She used sheets at the other two doors.

“They found their friends.”

Clarke and Sam flanked Monty and watched the video feed from the quarantine corridor. One of the rescuers had a flashlight and as they watched, they got the door open and the three prisoners came out, each wrapped in a blanket. “We’ll watch,” Clarke said. “You keep working.”

He nodded and continued entering code in a separate window while Clarke and Sam watched the other with the video feed from the quarantine corridor. Monty had two other windows open with feeds from the fifth and fourth levels. The latter was down, but the fifth was up and as Clarke watched, several more people left the mess hall. There was a sense of urgency to what they were doing.

“Where are they going?” Sam muttered. He’d been watching the same feed, apparently.

“I’m guessing level four. Pike and Sanders were there with Emerson earlier.”

“Or not. Maybe they’re going to head out.” Sam’s gaze was riveted to the screen.

“Shh.” Monty said and he stopped typing. Clarke looked at the quarantine corridor images. The people in blankets were being taken into the stairwell but two others remained and appeared to be engaged in a search, and they were headed for the med labs.

Clarke checked the doors and then stood next to Monty and Sam, barely breathing as they watched the feed from the corridor. A couple more lights went out, but she could just pick out the forms of the people. They retreated to the stairwell and she exhaled in relief. The water might have put them off.

Monty resumed typing. “Yes,” he said triumphantly. “I’m in.”

Clarke leaned in, heart pounding.

“He’s got the one set up to launch. From this, it looks like he has two besides that. Only one is set up to launch, since there’s only one silo.”

“So three total in the mountain?”

“Yeah. I checked inventories earlier and didn’t find any other missile stashes. But we are dealing with a pissed off possible psychopath, so who knows? Maybe he hid one somewhere else.” He went back to working on the coding. “Damn.”

“What?”

“I can’t seem to disarm it.”

“Why not?” Clarke watched the screen.

“Not sure. Maybe I can change the coordinates.” He typed a few more things and suddenly an alarm sounded from the corridor, and with it, the lights came back on, though much dimmer than full power.

“What the hell?” Sam said.

“Hold on.” Monty checked something on the screen. “Automatic alarm system. It triggers in event of threats to life support. In this case, it’s registering a problem with moisture.”

“You think?” Sam muttered.

The alarm countined to sound, a series of three long whoops then silence, then three long whoops again. After a few intervals of that, the med lab was filled with the crackling of an intercom and an automated woman’s well-modulated voice sounded.

“Emergency. Please evacuate the level.”

Clarke wondered whose voice it was, and if she had died in the mess hall with the others a few months back or if the recording was decades old. The intercom crackled again but this time the voice that came through was one she knew, one she hated hearing, and it made her blood freeze.

“Clarke Griffin,” Emerson said. “I know you’re here somewhere.”

Monty stared at her, expression visible in the light from the screen.

“He’s bluffing,” Sam said. “He knows someone’s in the mountain but he doesn’t know who. He’s trying to flush you out.”

“Clarke,” Emerson said again. “I’ve got someone with me.”

Sam gripped her arm.

“Don’t believe me? Here.”

After a couple beats of silence, Jasper spoke. “Go,” he said. “Get out while you can, with the rest.”

Monty moved away from the keyboard, hands on his head. “Fuck,” he said. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“I know how you are about leaving your people behind, Clarke,” Emerson said. “So how about a trade? You for him?”

Clarke was gritting her teeth so hard her jaw hurt.

“You for Arkadia. That was my original deal. I’ll throw Jasper in to sweeten it.”

“But he’s going to fire the missile anyway,” Monty said. “And he’ll probably kill Jasper no matter what you do.”

“Since you’re trying to hack into my systems, that means you’re probably in one of the labs,” Emerson continued. “There are intercoms near the doors. Find one and press the button.”

She glanced around until she located an intercom by the door to the harvest room.

“Ten seconds, Clarke,” Emerson said, digging at her. “One…two…”

“Don’t do it.” Sam gripped her arm hard but let go when she pulled away and walked to the intercom.

“Four…five…”

“He’ll kill Jasper,” Monty said, voice catching. “And you. What the hell are we going to do?”

“Six…seven…”

Clarke hit the button. “I’m here,” she said, anger washing through her like the water pouring into the holding room. She needed to keep it together, needed to think clearly, but she was glad the anger kept her voice steady.

“Why, hello, there. It’s been a while,” Emerson said, voice oozing predatory sarcasm. “Did you miss me?”

“Not a bit,” she retorted. “So here I am. Let Jasper go.”

“Clarke, you know that’s not how this is going to work. When you’re in my custody, then he can go.”

“Where are you?” Her voice remained steady, though every muscle in her body was strung tight.

“Life support on level four. Do you remember it?”

“Vaguely,” she lied.

“Well, I’m guessing you’re either on level three or two. You have fifteen minutes to turn yourself in. Jasper dies if you don’t. See you soon.” The intercom clicked off and the alarm started up again.

“How did he get Jasper?” Monty asked. “Where are the others?”

“Let me think.”

He went quiet, but she heard both of them breathing.

“Jasper said for us to get out while we could. And he said to do that with the rest.”

“Was he telling us something?” Sam rubbed his chin.

“Possibly. Why would he say anything about the others if he wasn’t trying to let us know that they got away and might still be sticking to the plan?” She glanced at the timer on the screen. “If they’re all right, the first of the bombs is supposed to go off in about twenty minutes.” She looked at Monty. “What can you do in about five minutes in there?” She motioned at the screen. “Think. Something that’ll mess things up a few minutes after that.”

“Um…overload,” he muttered. “Let’s overload their generators. Yeah. We can do that.” His fingers seemed to move like live things across the keyboard. “Levels four and five. Power surge and overload in fifteen minutes.” He looked at her. “Hopefully.”

“Hopefully?” Sam’s brow furrowed. “We kind of need a definitive yes or no on that.”

“Um. Most likely.”

“It’ll have to do.” Clarke moved to the door to the corridor. “Leave, both of you. Take the tunnel out of here.”

Monty and Sam looked at each other, then at her. “No way. We’re going to get you and Jasper out of this,” Monty said. “Most of the video feeds are down. He’ll think you’re alone, because you always make people leave when you have to do something like sacrifice yourself.”

“There’s nothing you can do. I’ll delay him long enough for you to get out. Hopefully Bellamy or Raven is able to disable the missile.”

“Would you shut up for once?” Monty said. “Jasper is my best friend, even though he’s completely fucked up right now. And you are the closest thing I’ve had to a parent in months. I’m not leaving here without you.”

“Really?” Sam said. “A parent?”

“Okay, fine. Whatever. Clarke is my own personal Commander, and I am not letting her go down there alone to deal with this asshole.”

Despite the situation, Clarke smiled. “Then I need you to make a decision. We’re running out of time.”

“Fuck it. Let’s go,” Sam said. “She can be my Commander, too. And Monty’s power surge hits in—hopefully—a little less than thirteen minutes.” He unlocked the door and checked it, presumably to make sure the mechanism remained unlocked. The alarm blared and flashed and when it stopped for its interval, Clarke heard water running. She shined her flashlight around, since the dim lighting overhead didn’t do much good. The beam glinted off streams of water pouring down the light fixtures. Their boots splashed underfoot as they walked quickly toward the stairwell.

“Get behind me,” Clarke instructed when she used her access card on the stairwell. She cut a piece of cloth off the bottom of her shirt and shoved it into the lock slot on the door jamb. “Let me be the first one out the door so he thinks I’m alone. And don’t let the door close all the way down there. Water might mess with the locking mechanisms.”

The alarm accompanied them down the stairs, its echoes harsh in her ears. At the entrance to level four, she motioned the others to stay back before she swiped the access card and opened the door. The alarm flashed and screeched on this level, as well, and like the other levels, water pooled on the floor and dripped from the light fixtures.

She took a deep breath, thoughts of Lexa lending her strength, and stepped into the corridor. The only light here was the flashing from the alarm boxes and she decided not to use her flashlight, hoping that gave her an advantage. She heard nothing beyond the alarm and the sound of water. Where was everybody else? Had they already evacuated? The life support area was ahead, and she hugged the wall as she walked. One of the light fixtures overhead gave way in a shower of sparks and crashed to the floor.

“Emergency,” said the monotone woman’s voice. “Please evacuate the level.”

The life support area was just ahead, and in the flashes from the alarm’s light she saw that the door was open.

“Is that you, Clarke?”

Her skin crawled at the sound of his voice, and she saw him framed in the doorway, holding a pistol.

“Yes. Let Jasper go.”

“Come closer. I know how you are.”

She took a few more steps, until she was probably fifteen feet away. “I’m here. Let him go. That was the deal.”

“Maybe I want a new one,” Emerson said and from behind her, she heard another voice.

“Keep walking, Griffin. Or I’ll put you down right here.”

Sanders. With a mighty effort she refrained from turning and trying out her rudimentary knife skills. “No, you won’t,” she said. “Because Emerson wants to do that himself.”

“Shut up and move,” Sanders said. He was closer.

She gritted her teeth so hard she felt like they might break but she walked right up to Emerson and stopped a few feet away. He wore the uniform of the Mountain Man Guard, but it hung on his frame and his face seemed a lot thinner. Life outside hadn’t been kind to him physically. He smiled, a self-satisfied predator.

“That’s better,” he said. “Come in. I have to admit, the decoy you sent out threw me for a bit. It didn’t seem like you, to be so amenable to turning yourself in without something else going on. I will say that was a nice touch. It actually did buy you a few extra hours.”

She didn’t respond.

“You should thank me.”

Clarke clenched her teeth together.

“Fine. I want you to see something.”

She didn’t move.

“Oh, come on, Clarke. Do you honestly think I’d kill you right now? Don’t be ridiculous. You know I’m more interested in your suffering than in a quick way out.” He stepped aside and motioned her into the room.

She stepped in quickly and moved away from him. Several large monitors on the walls showed the missile countdown and he also had managed to retain a video feed on one. A grainy image of Arkadia filled it. In another feed was a view of the top of the mountain.

Jasper sat on the floor in a nearby corner, his hands tied behind his back. She went over to him, ignoring Emerson though her heart was pounding with stress.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugged. “Sure. Just a beat-down. Nothing weird.” He looked up at her and in the glow from a nearby terminal she saw blood caked in the corner of his mouth and his right eye was swollen.

“Still solicitous,” Emerson said. “Touching. Though stupid.”

She straightened and glared at him. “You said you would let him go. So do it.”

“He’s my insurance. If you try anything while I’m in here, you watch him die. Isn’t that right, Sanders?”

“Yes,” came the response.

Clarke glared at him. She had only half-expected him to keep his word. Hopefully Monty and Sam would figure something out.

“You I’m keeping alive because I really want you to see something.” Emerson moved to the terminal. “I programmed this launch the day I sent the demands. But you knew that, obviously, because you’re here. I suppose I am predictable in that way. I figured you’d either turn yourself in or you’d sneak in and try to stop the launch.” He typed slowly on the keyboard. “I am impressed you got this far. But your friends are going to die in here, like they should have the first time.” He looked over at her. “I sealed the access to the silo. They’re probably in there now, and the water level is rising.”

Clarke glanced at Jasper, but he was staring at the floor.

“We did lose the video feed in that area, but I know that’s where they were headed. Good idea, to blow the missile. That’s what I would have done.” He typed some more. “Rest assured they died for a noble cause.”

She refused to believe him, refused to let her get inside her head.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Emerson looked at her. “How does it feel, to be completely powerless to do anything to save your people?”

She didn’t take the bait and looked at the countdown again.

“Watch this,” he said, and entered a series of numbers. The countdown stopped then went blank then started again, only this time with ten minutes to go before launch. Her heart sank.

“I can’t manually override the missiles. I can’t find the codes for that. But I can change the countdown. So get comfortable, Clarke, because in ten minutes, everyone you love will be dead. And you’ll get to see it.”

She ached to grab her knife and launch herself at him, but it wouldn’t do much good. “You’re okay with this, Sanders?” she said instead. “Making deals like this? They’re your people, too.”

“They’re sell outs to a bunch of dirty savages,” he said matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to live like a damn animal.”

“Hate to burst your bubble, man,” Jasper rasped from his corner, “but unless you’ve got fins, this place is done, so you’ll have to go all dirty savage outside like the rest of us.”

“Shut up,” Sanders said. “There’s another option. We planned for it.”

She looked at him, wondering what that could possibly be, but said nothing further for a few moments.

“Clarke, you’re awfully quiet.” Emerson approached her. “Not like you at all. Not at all.”

She glanced at the countdown. Seconds to Monty’s power surge. “Maybe it’s because I’m not done yet,” she retorted.

He frowned.

And then the lights on the machines all flashed in tangent and went dark. Clarke hit the floor and crawled in the direction of Jasper.

“Sanders,” Emerson said, anger in his voice, “don’t let her out of here.”

“Too late, asshole,” Sam said from the directon of the doorway and Clarke wanted to hug him. “Clarke, I’ve got Sanders covered and Monty’s on Emerson. And yes, we will shoot at the slightest provocation. Get Jasper.”

“On it.” Clarke found him in the dark. He held his wrists up so she could easily slice the ties even without light. The machines flickered, then, and hummed back to life. Sam had the barrel of his pistol rammed against Sanders’ back and Monty had a screwdriver against the back of Emerson’s head.

She lunged before he figured out Monty didn’t actually have a gun. She held the tip of her blade against Emerson’s throat before she removed his pistol from his holster.

“Well-played, Griffin,” Emerson said, his hands in the air. “What now?”

She was about to tell Monty to get onto the keyboard Emerson had just vacated when an explosion knocked him against the nearest console and blew out half the screens in the room. The first of Bellamy’s diversionary bombs. Clarke almost cried with relief, because it meant that they might not be trapped and that they might have gotten to the missile silo.

“See if you can get in to the system, Monty,” she said, not taking her eyes off Emerson.

“Won’t do any good.” he said as Monty got to work at the keyboard.

“Monty?” Clarke said, her gaze riveted on Emerson.

“Trying.”

“No pressure or anything,” Sam said through clenched teeth.

The minutes seemed to crawl past. Nobody said anything and the only things Clarke heard were Monty’s fingers on the keyboard and the sound of increased water flow in the corridor beyond.

“Um, Clarke,” Sam said.

“What?”

“We’ve got water.”

She didn’t need to look to know that he meant it was coming in from the hallway. “Monty?”

“Still trying.”

“Give it up, Griffin.” Emerson grinned. “Checkmate.” He lost his footing and went down on one knee as another explosion shook the room. Clarke barely managed to maintain her balance. Sanders fell to his knees and Sam made him stay there.

“Monty, we might need to hurry,” she said, hoping the panic welling in her chest wasn’t evident in her voice.

“Thanks for being obvious,” he shot back. Jasper stood near him, glancing at the countdown then at Monty.

“Clarke,” he said, “twenty seconds to launch.”

Emerson laughed. “I’m going to sit down, Griffin, so you can stop watching me and watch the screen instead.”

“Emerson might be right,” Monty said, panicked. “I can’t stop this. Even the power surge didn’t knock it offline.”

Clarke barely managed not to kick Emerson in the face as he did what he said and sat down on the floor.

“Go ahead,” he said. “Watch. The screen to your right will show the launch.”

“Monty—” she wrenched her gaze to him.

“Still trying,” he almost shouted, anguished.

“Oh, shit,” Sam said and his voice was hushed. Clarke turned to the screen that showed the top of the mountain and as she watched, the countdown clock hit zeros and a few beats later, a missile emerged from the silo like some kind of horrific phoenix. All Clarke could do was stare. Behind her, Emerson laughed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH, HELL NO!
> 
> When it rains it freaking pours all up in that mountain! Literally and figuratively! So what did you all think about this? This chapter stressed me the hell out. SRSLY. I wrote the last two lines and just sat back and said, "Shit."
> 
> And then I worked my freaking ass off to get the next chapter finished to post today because I didn't want to leave you with a cliffhanger like this for a week. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BUY ME CHOCOLATE FOR THAT! lol
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all the kudos and comments. I really, really, really love and appreciate them all and I so love that you're on this journey with me. Thank you so much. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but don't freak if I don't get to them right away. I will. Don't worry.
> 
> And some of my musical accompaniment during the writing of this longish chapter included: machineheart, "Stonecold"; Satellite Mode, "Surface"; Dorothy, "Missile" (for realz!)


	47. Through the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets a message from Nia then heads to the mountain. Meanwhile, back in the mountain..

“Flooding?” Lexa braced her hands on the table in her tent and gave Kane a hard, flat stare. Her movements jarred the candles, causing their flames to bounce.

“Octavia said it’s bad and getting worse. She also said that yes, there is a missile prepared to launch at Arkadia, and it’s already been programmed.”

“When will it launch?”

“Given the timeline as Sinclair explained it, within about ninety minutes from now.”

“What?” Gina crossed her arms and looked from Kane to Lexa. “Ninety minutes? What about Raven? Has anybody heard from her?”

Lexa heard the worry in her voice, and recognized the undercurrents in her tone. It was about more than simply friendship and she wondered if Raven knew that Gina felt this way about her. She hoped so, because even with the strain of worry, feelings like that weren’t easy to find in this world and she understood only too well how precious they could be.

“Octavia was able to reach her on the radio,” Kane said. “She’s working on the silo hatch and some other options.”

Lexa looked at the map. “Where is Octavia now?”

“She alerted Indra’s scouts and they’re on their way to alert others. Sinclair and Abby are working on evacuating the rest of Arkadia and Indra will be sending extra warriors. She may go try to help Raven now.”

“Did Sinclair say anything about _Azgeda_ around Arkadia?”

“So far, he said they haven’t done anything. He also said that Indra is demonstrating a show of force. She’s moved many more warriors into position near Arkadia.” He tugged absently on his beard. “Sinclair sent someone out to warn Indra’s forces that there may be a missile strike.”

“ _Mochof_.” Lexa straightened. She hadn’t rested as she had planned. Instead, she had donned her full regalia, including facepaint, because she had a feeling that Nia would soon send her a message in the wake of what happened at her encampment. Given the timeline from the mountain, however, the message might not come before the launch. “What did Octavia say of the plan within the mountain?”

“Clarke and two others were working on overriding the missile launch from a computer on the third level while Bellamy and three others tried to access the silo via the fourth level. Octavia said that the flooding seems to be causing concern and Pike and some of his people are evacuating. She said that Emerson has not, however.”

“He’ll stay because he wishes to find Clarke and force her to watch him destroy Arkadia. As we all suspected.” Lexa’s hand moved to the hilt of one of her knives. She wanted to tear the main door off the mountain and bring Clarke out, wanted to ensure that Emerson would never make his presence known again, wanted to destroy the mountain with her bare hands. Instead, there wasn’t enough time at this point to do anything beyond position herself outside the main entrance. She glowered at the map, a mixture of worry, anger, and frustration clamoring for attention.

“ _Heda_ ,” Arling said from her tent’s entrance. “ _Imfou kom Nia_.”

As she had expected. She motioned for him to continue.

“Our scouts found two _Azgeda_ on their way here from Nia’s camp. They said they have a message for you from Nia, if you are at this camp. They said Nia sent messengers to the other encampments, as well.”

She was faster than Lexa had guessed. Of course, this camp was only a few miles from Nia’s and even in the dark it wasn’t that long a trip. Lexa nodded. “Stay here,” she directed Kane and Gina.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Kane said and she followed Arling outside to the main fire pit, three warriors falling into step with her. The rain had slowed to a light misting, which wasn’t enough to douse the flames. A few warriors stood near the firepit while four others stood guarding the two _Azgeda_ , one male, one female.

Lexa strode toward them, her coat flowing with her motions, her swords crossed comfortably across her back, warriors on either side of her. It was more show than necessary, but where Nia was concerned, she wanted to ensure that the _Azgeda_ warriors communicated a specific impression to their queen.

She stopped a few paces away and regarded them for a moment, conveying in the pause and expression complete authority. “ _Ai na sen yo imfou in_ ,” she said and they both dropped their gazes. Lexa addressed the woman. “ _Chich yu op_.” 1

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said, without any indication of sarcasm. “ _Plana_ Nia requests your assistance.”

Lexa gave no sign of her reaction. “What might your _plana_ require of me?”

“She wishes to put a stop to the threat of _Maun-de_ and hopes that you realize that the best way to do that is for _Klark kom Skaikru_ to present herself for escort into the mountain, which will ensure the safety of all our people.”

She almost laughed at Nia’s audacity. And also ignorance about Emerson, who was not going to honor what he had told _Skaikru_. “Tell me how it is that your _plana_ is aware of the demands from _Maun-de_ , since they were delivered specifically to Arkadia. I do not recall that _Azgeda_ was included in any discussions there with regard to what _Maun-de_ requires.”

The woman’s eyes widened and she threw a sidelong glance at her companion, as if seeking his help with the conversation. He kept his gaze directly ahead.

Lexa raised her hand to cut off any response from either. “Your _plana_ ,” she said, her tone clear and cutting, “knows of the demands because she made a deal with the last of the _Maunon_ , those to whom even _Azgeda_ lost many over the years. And now she seeks to curry my favor against the _Maunon_ even as she seeks to undermine my authority.”

Both warriors kept their gazes focused everywhere but on her and again Lexa paused, to draw out their discomfort.

“Your _plana_ dishonors even dishonorable deals, and she further dishonors her own people by making them.”

Lexa’s warriors stared at her, wide-eyed but approving while the _Azgeda_ shifted, uncomfortable.

“Tell your _plana_ that the whereabouts of _Klark kom Skaikru_ are not her concern and that she will be held accountable for acts of war against the _kongeda_. I remind her that I personally will seek to bring her to account.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” the woman said. Lexa didn’t envy her, bringing that message to Nia.

“Escort our visitors a reasonable distance,” she directed her warriors, “then leave them to take my words to their _plana_.”

One of the four who guarded the _Azgeda_ motioned with his spear for them to precede them out of camp. She turned, dismissive, and walked back to her tent. Arling followed her in and the other warriors waited outside. Kane and Gina stood in silence, tense.

“Nia presumes that I will turn Clarke over to her so that she might stop Emerson from firing missiles,” Lexa said. “I dissuaded her of that notion.” She looked at Arling. “I need fifteen warriors and several torches. We go to the mountain now. Send scouts to alert our other forces.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He slipped outside.

“Can we get there before the launch?” Kane asked and Lexa didn’t miss his use of “we.”

“If we leave very soon, yes.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“We will enter the tunnels and bring your people out,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He frowned. “What about the missiles? What if they launch?”

“We have done all we can out here, _Markus kom Skaikru_. It is time to do what we can in the mountain.”

He started to respond when Gina interrupted. “I’m coming with you, Commander.”

Lexa heard in her tone that there would be no arguing the point. She appreciated it, because she understood perhaps better than most what might be driving the decision. “Very well. Your thoughts, Kane?” She raised an eyebrow at him, sensing that he wished to speak.

“I—” he stopped and shrugged. “You’re right. We have done all we could out here. So let’s go to the mountain.”

She flashed a grim smile and strode out of the tent, Kane and Gina behind her. Arling had already gathered warriors and horses. Everyone quieted when they saw her and she allowed her gaze to sweep all of them, standing in the light afforded from the main firepit.

“ _Gonakru_ ,”2 Lexa said, and the only sounds were her voice and the pop and hiss of the flames. “ _Oso hit choda op nat, den oso gyon_ Maun-de _au_. _Oso na sis oso lukot au_.” 3 She waited a beat. “This night, _gonakru,_ we will honor the _kongeda_ and bring those who work to stop the last of the _Manoun_ from destroying our respective cities out of the mountain. They may not be successful in stopping the destruction, and you all know what may come forth from _Maun-de_.” She paused again. “But we will help those in the _kongeda_ who are working to destroy the mountain so that this will never happen again, so that we are never faced with the mountain again, by those who would betray us and seek to bring an end to us.” She drew one of her swords and raised it high as the level of her voice went up, as well.

“Will you join me this night?”

Roars of _sha_ reverberated throughout the camp.

“Will you honor the warriors before us and those yet to come this night?”

“ _Sha!_ ”

“Let it be so.”

Chants of _Heda!_ thundered into the night air and Lexa grinned, a hard, fierce invitation to battle.

“We ride,” she commanded as she sheathed her sword and mounted the horse Arling held for her.

“Go with Arling,” Lexa instructed Gina. Arling mounted his horse and pulled Gina up behind him. Another warrior hauled Kane onto his horse without instruction from her. Lexa grinned again as a battle cry swelled from the back of her group, and it rolled forward, filled her chest, and exploded from her own mouth as she urged her horse into the forest and toward that which held the fate of so many in its depths. And directly into those depths she would go, no matter the obstacles, no matter the price, to retrieve Clarke.

She let her horse find its own speed to the mountain, riding like she was an extension of it, chest heaving, the cool damp of the night clinging to her like a second skin. All around her she heard the soft grunts of horses and warriors, the creak of leather, and the thud of hooves on forest loam and she drew strength from all of it, as her thoughts sank into the immediacy of battle-ready focus.

Lexa reined her horse to a walk. They were within a few hundred paces of one of the Reaper tunnels. Through the forest canopy above, the clouds had started to clear, and the sky was a dark ocean speckled with stars, the mountain a huge promontory jutting into it. And as she brought her horse to a stop, something shot from the top of the mountain, dragging a trail of fire and she knew instinctively it was a missile.

For what couldn’t have been more than a few heartbeats but felt much longer, she stared, aware of what it portended but transfixed nonetheless and then suddenly it exploded in a flash of flame and light and the sound of it rolled across the forests and pieces of it fell to earth like shooting stars. The horses stamped and snorted and her warriors worked to soothe them.

“What the hell?” Kane said, but he sounded far away. “We should’ve had more time before the launch—”

“But it doesn’t matter because they did it,” Gina shouted. “They stopped it. They must have put a bomb on it.”

Arling lowered her to the ground.

“They might have used other explosives in the mountain, which means it might speed up the flooding.” Kane slid off the horse he was on and as if to punctuate his statement, another two explosions sounded from the top of the mountain.

“Raven,” Gina said. “She must’ve gotten bombs into the silo.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Kane said to Lexa, “we have to go in now if we can be of any help.”

Lexa called Arling over. “Send a scout to Indra and tell her it appears Clarke and Bellamy were successful in defeating the missiles. Tell her also that the mountain may flood faster and that we went in to find them. Spread the word through _kongeda_ forces. If any _natrona_ are found alive outside the mountain, they are to be captured and held until an accounting. And send a scout to Roan. I request his presence at my camp as soon as possible.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“And if any _Azgeda_ challenge any _kongeda_ forces, consider it an act of war. I grant them dispensation to defend themselves by whatever means necessary.”

He nodded and wheeled his horse around.

“Kane, communicate what is happening to Arkadia.”

He stepped away and took his radio out.

She dismounted and handed the reins of her horse to another warrior, waiting. Finally, he got through and she heard someone’s voice talking to Kane. He spoke quickly, waited for the other man to confirm, then put the radio back in his pack.

Lexa turned and jogged to the tunnel entrance. Three warriors went in first and lit the torches they had brought. Five other warriors joined them, along with Kane and Gina.

Lexa stopped them. “You are certain you wish to do this?”

“Absolutely,” Gina said.

Kane nodded, solemn.

“Very well. Come.” Lexa entered the tunnel, following the warriors in the lead who held torches. She restrained herself with what seemed every ounce of her strength from sprinting into the mountain in search of Clarke and instead forced herself to sink into the calm she always found before a fight. And as she strode through the tunnel, amidst the smell of damp and the ghosts of decades of her people, she knew that nothing—absolutely nothing—would keep her from the mountain this time.

 _Maun-de_ had forced her from Clarke once. It would not do so again.

  
1 _Ai na sen yo imfou in_ … _Chich yu op_ : I will listen to your [plural] message…tell me [you singular in this instance].   
2 _Gonakru_ : group of warriors [you’ve seen this one. Recently, even!]   
3 _Oso hit choda op nat, den oso gyon_ Maun-de _au_. _Oso na sis oso lukot au_ : We are gathered here this night, so that we may go to the mountain. We will help our friends.

###

Clarke couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. The missile blazed into the night sky, and she hoped that Arkadia had been evacuated.

And then it exploded, blasting apart in a flash of light and billowing smoke.

Nobody spoke for several moments.

“No way.” Sam finally broke the silence.

“What the hell?” Jasper stared at the screen, then at Monty, who started whooping and grabbed him in a huge bear hug.

“They did it,” Sam said, stunned. “Shit, look.” He pointed at the image of the top of the mountain, where another explosion seemed to emanate from the silo. And then another.

Clarke finally breathed. Bellamy must have managed to put a bomb on the missile and Raven probably tossed some into the silo once it was open to help sabotage it. Monty grabbed her in a hug and Sam clapped her on the shoulder.

Emerson was still staring at the screen, and the expression on his face was one of utter disbelief. Sanders’ expression mirrored his.

Clarke held Emerson’s pistol under his jaw. “I’m really, really glad to disappoint you. Monty, get his access card.”

He found it in Emerson’s shirt pocket. “Touching this guy is far worse than wearing these clothes,” he muttered. Sam had already gotten Sanders’ card and he held it up for Monty to take.

Clarke shoved the gun harder against Emerson’s flesh. “I’m guessing Pike already evacuated with everybody else. Too bad you didn’t go with them.”

He glared at her, rage in his eyes. She backed away, keeping the gun trained on him. “Let’s go,” she said, and Jasper and Monty went into the corridor while she and Sam retreated from the room more slowly. Water had already spread over the floor of the room and it lapped almost to her ankles. She and Sam ducked out and Sam and Jasper held the door shut as Sanders banged on the other side. Clarke shot the card access pad.

Sam tested the handle. “Locked. Let’s go.”

“Where’s the silo access?” Clarke asked.

“This way.” Monty started sloshing down the corridor to another door and used one of the access cards to open it. The water was halfway up his shins. That was definitely a bad sign. The overhead lights were in a state of constant flickering now and the alarm was reduced to a few squawks and blinks every twenty seconds or so. Strange creaks and groans filled the corridor.

“The weight of the water might be causing problems,” Monty said as he moved down the silo access hallway. “We need to hurry.”

Pipes ran along the ceiling here, and water sprayed from it like fountains. By the time they got to the next door, they were all soaked. It stood ajar.

“We’re going to lose electricity pretty soon,” Monty said as he and Sam pushed the door open. The water was above their knees here. “So try to save your flashlight, Clarke.”

“Okay.” Pipes hung in tangled messes here, and rubble from which rebar jutted created a forbidding obstacle course. “Bellamy,” she shouted. “Harper?” She moved forward, stepping carefully.

“Watch out,” Sam said as a piece of concrete fell from the ceiling and splashed heavily into the water next to her. “Don’t just watch the water. Check above, too.”

“Bellamy,” she shouted again.

Monty slipped and reached out to catch his fall, slicing his hand on debris. “Ow. Fuck.”

Clarke examined it with her flashlight. “It’s shallow, which is good. Sam, get the other shirt out of my pack.”

He did and Clark used her knife to cut two strips from it. Sam shoved it back in her pack and she wrapped a strip of cloth around Monty’s hand and tied it with another. “It’s going to get wet. That’s fine. This is to keep dirt and whatever else out of it. Try to be careful.”

Jasper wordlessly took up a position near him. He still avoided looking at Clarke, but she didn’t care. As long as he was on board with helping Monty and Sam, she’d accept whatever animosity he would direct at her.

“How did Emerson manage to grab you?” Monty asked him as they started working their way through the piles of rubble again.

“It wasn’t Emerson. It was Pike and four of his people. They saw us and started chasing us, so I led them away, to give Bellamy and Harper a shot at getting to the missile. Pike turned me over to Emerson then took his people out. At least, that’s what he said he was doing.”

Clarke listened but didn’t say anything. From what little she knew about Pike, he seemed more interested in self-preservation than following through with Emerson’s causes, so he may have left. But there could be a chance that he was still in the mountain, in which case they needed to be careful about that, too.

“Thanks, man,” Sam said from the rear. “As annoying as it is to walk through this shit, I could totally kiss you for getting those assholes off Bellamy and Harper.”

“I’m flattered, but I expect dinner first,” Jasper snarked and Monty laughed. Even Clarke smiled, because he sounded more like himself.

“Bellamy,” Clarke shouted again. “Harper.”

“Shh,” Sam said. “Listen.”

She did. Water, creaks, metallic groans, clunks—she held her breath.

“Bellamy,” Sam bellowed. “Harper.”

They were all silent again.

“Clarke?” echoed down the corridor, faint.

“Bellamy,” they all shouted in return. “Harper.”

“Come on.” Clarke increased her speed. “Be careful.” She scrambled over huge chunks of the wall and parts of the ceiling. Water poured in from the holes above, and already it was nearly to her waist.

“Clarke?” echoed toward her, much louder.

That was Harper, Clarke was sure. She caught a glimpse of a flashlight beam beneath the flickering lights above and the person holding it. “Harper.” And right behind her she saw Bellamy.

Clarke pushed forward and pulled them both into an awkward hug. “You did it,” she said, close to tears.

Harper let go and grabbed Monty but Bellamy held on to Clarke for a few more moments.

“Glad to see you,” he said and she knew he was over their earlier tension.

“You did it,” she said again.

“Barely. Some asshole shut down card access. We just got through the second door.”

“That asshole was Emerson,” Clarke said. “Come on. I’ll tell you what happened on our end as we walk. We have to get out of here. Can we go out through the silo?”

“Nope,” he said. The explosives took care of that and I’m pretty sure Raven must have dropped a couple of her new toys into the silo after the launch when the hatch was open. There’s no way up, through, or around. We have to go back this way and up to level three. And we have to do it fast, because we put explosives on the last two missiles, too.”

“How long do we have?” Monty asked, still holding on to Harper.

“Thirty minutes, if they work right. We need to be off this level, at least.”

“Let’s go,” Sam said. As if to emphasize his point, another part of the ceiling gave way, bringing with it another cascade of water.

“What the hell?” Harper said. “It’s not like there’s another level directly above this one. Where’s the water coming from?”

“Pipes,” Monty said. “They must run between the ceiling and the rock of the mountain in parts of it. “Let’s go before we lose the rest of the light.”

They started walking, and Clarke filled Bellamy in on what had happened with Emerson.

“Where is he now?”

“Clarke locked him and Sanders in the life support room,” Sam said.

“But I don’t know how long that’ll hold.” She stepped around a piece of pipe that had fallen at an angle. “Jasper tipped us off that you and Harper were still on your mission, so I figured we could buy you some time if I turned myself in.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” Bellamy said, tone wry. “We’ll talk about this weird death wish you have later, Clarke. In the meantime, thanks, Jasper, for drawing Pike away.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t offer anything else, and the rest of their trip back to the main corridor of level four passed without speaking. Once out of the access tunnel, the water was over Clarke’s waist and she held her flashlight above it. Her legs were already numb from the cold. They were in near-darkness, with the occasional blink of a light overhead. The alarm lights had dimmed to a barely discernible red glow.

They passed the life support room. The door was still closed and Clarke didn’t bother to look inside. They continued to the stairwell, where the door stood open, held by the weight of the water that was coursing through it from the stairs.

“We didn’t close it,” Monty said as they pushed through. It was like walking against a current in a river.

“Hold on to the railings,” Bellamy instructed, “or you’re going on a ride down to seven. And it’ll probably be bumpy.”

“You think?” Jasper grasped the right-hand railing.

Clarke handed her gun to Bellamy, shifted her flashlight to her right hand, and grabbed the railing to her left. She started up the stairs, trying to place her feet without getting pulled by the force of the water, which pulled at her shins. At some point, the entire stairwell would fill and the current would stop. A grim thought, since that meant the entire mountain would be flooded then.

Slowly, they moved up the stairs. Clarke was cold all the way through her bones and her teeth chattered. She had to keep looking at her hand to make sure she still held the flashlight. Bellamy opened the door to level three and helped pull everyone out of the stairwell one by one.

The water on this level wasn’t as deep as on four, and Clarke figured it was because there were more rooms and corridors to fill on this level. Plus, some of the water might already be draining into the tunnel, which kept the level in the interior from going too high. As they made their way toward the med lab they’d worked in earlier, the water wasn’t quite to her knees yet.

“Keep moving,” Bellamy said. “You need to warm up.”

The red light still glowed on the access pad into the lab, but Sam had made sure the door couldn’t lock so they didn’t need an access card.

“That light is good news.” Monty pointed at it as he pulled the door open. “This level still has electricity. Maybe because it’s medical, and they needed it to function as long as possible in emergencies.”

They had just reached the door to the holding room when a deep, muffled boom seemed to reverberate from the lower levels. Everybody stopped.

“What was that?” Harper asked.

“Maybe a pressure pump going?” Monty’s eyes were wide. “Which means there’ll be more water.”

“Or was it the bomb on one of the missiles?” Sam looked at Bellamy.

“Didn’t feel like it,” Monty said. “That’s going to be a hell of an explosion.”

“Good to know.” Sam grimaced as he pulled the door to the holding room open. As he did, everything went dark. The only sounds were the now incessant running of water, creaks and groans from the structure, and the breathing of her companions.

The lights overhead started blinking and came back on, but even dimmer than before.

“Med lab must have a separate generator,” Monty said, relieved.

“Clark, flashlight?” Sam asked.

She handed it over and he clicked it on and swept the holding room. Some of the cages had fallen and were now littering the floor, water lapping against them. Some of the medical equipment was overturned but the room was passable. Clarke heard water still pouring in from the air duct in the back.

Sam and Bellamy took the lead, followed by Harper and Monty.

Clarke waited for Jasper to work his way over from the wall he’d been leaning against. “You okay?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been better. Looks like I got cut on level four.”

“Where?”

He gestured at his calf and held his leg out of the water with some effort. Clarke leaned down for a better view in what light they had. His pants were torn and she could tell right away that it was a serious gash, long and deep.

“Clarke?” Monty leaned back in. “What’s—shit. When did that happen?” he asked, gaze on Jasper’s leg.

“Not important right now,” Clarke said. “We have to get him out of here so I can have a better look at it. The cold water is probably numbing it and helping with pain, but it’s still bleeding.”

Monty ducked out and she heard him yelling at the others. Jasper leaned against the wall as another muffled boom sounded followed immediately by the sharp pop of gunshots and metallic pings as bullets hit the med lab wall nearby. Instinctively, she grabbed Jasper and yanked him toward the door into the holding room but he stumbled and they both fell against it, slamming it closed.

Another bullet ricocheted off the wall in the med lab.

“Clarke,” Emerson shouted in a sing-song tone. The bullets weren’t coming into the harvest room, so she guessed he assumed she was in the med lab proper and he was shooting from the corridor.

She let go of Jasper and grabbed the door handle. It had automatically locked. She tried her access card but nothing happened. Somebody pounded on the other side.

“Clarke,” came Bellamy’s voice. “What’s going on?”

“Close the other door,” Clarke said to Jasper. She tried the card again as he moved as fast as he could to the door into the med lab. The door to the holding room refused to open. “Bellamy,” she said, “it’s Emerson.”

Jasper almost had his door closed when he was knocked backward into the water as Emerson kicked it open.

“Hi, Clarke,” Emerson said. “Took me a while to get out, but here I am. I figured you’d like a proper send off.”

He raised his gun and Clarke threw herself into the water.

“Clarke,” Bellamy yelled on the other side of the door.

“She’s busy,” Emerson shouted, as he pulled the trigger. The gun didn’t fire. He swore and threw it aside then lunged at her. Jasper tripped him and Emerson went down in the water, still scrabbling, trying to reach her.

His hand brushed her boot and she kicked and struggled to her feet, moving toward the door to the med lab. Jasper was already on his way there when Emerson tackled Clarke and she went under, his full weight on top of her. He hauled her out of the water. She coughed and spat and managed to draw a breath before he shoved her under again, face up, hands on her collar. He was strong. Really strong. And unfazed by her clawing at his fingers. Her lungs felt like they were burning and collapsing and then he pulled her out again and she took a breath before he pushed her under a second time. She tried to get to one of her knives, but she couldn’t seem to reach her sheaths.

She heard a muffled shout and he let go with one hand then the other. She came up out of the water to see Emerson staggering around, hands on his head. Jasper dropped the keyboard he was holding and helped Clarke up. They floundered into the med lab and Clarke didn’t bother trying to shut the door. It was better that they get a head start on Emerson and work their way to level one and escape that way.

They didn’t make it. Emerson grabbed her by the hair and threw her against a counter. She grunted in pain and turned to face him. Half his face was coated with blood from where Jasper had hit him with the keyboard, and he looked almost like a Reaper, rage emanating from him like heat from a fire.

“This ends the way I say it does,” he said, voice filled with venom.

“Jasper, get out of here,” Clarke yelled at him. “Get to level one.”

“Always selfless,” Emerson said, sarcasm in his tone. He turned and in several strides only partially slowed by the deepening water had Jasper by the throat. “It’s far more painful to watch your friends die than to die yourself,” he said. “I should know.”

Jasper kicked and struggled and Clarke threw herself on Emerson’s back but he let go of Jasper and slammed her against a nearby wall. Her head hit the concrete and shapes swam in front of her eyes. Emerson dragged Jasper out into the corridor. He had another gun and he held it to Jasper’s forehead.

“Are you watching, Clarke?” He said. “I want you to see this.” He was facing the med lab, holding Jasper in the water with one hand and the pistol with the other.

She didn’t think about her next action. She just acted, and pulled one of her knives out of its sheath, gripped it, and threw. It sailed through the open door and sank blade first into Emerson’s shoulder. He yelped and let go of Jasper and Clarke lunged into the corridor just as Emerson pointed the gun at her.

“Clarke,” Jasper shouted in horror and then all three were knocked off their feet as a huge explosion seemed to shake the floor and walls. One of the remaining missiles, she automatically categorized. She regained her footing and shoved Emerson against the wall before she gripped the hilt of her knife that jutted from his shoulder and twisted it. He roared in pain and dropped the pistol. Clarke pulled her knife out and plunged it into his chest. He grunted, surprised, and slid down the wall, gasping. Even in the dim, flickering light she saw blood staining his shirt around the blade. She pulled the knife out again and staggered back toward the med lab.

“Come on,” she said to Jasper. “Let’s see if we can get the holding room door open.”

Another explosion sent them both into the nearest wall and the floor seemed to undulate beneath their feet. The last missile. Had to be. Part of the ceiling collapsed in the corridor, partially blocking the doorway. Their best bet was to go through the holding room if they were going to get out of here. She pulled Jasper with her.

“Clarke,” he said. “I can’t.” He went down onto his knees in the water. “Really…tired. Kind of dizzy.”

Blood loss. His wound was worse than she thought. “Okay. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he said. “Just go. Maybe you’ll get lucky. Seems fitting for me to die here, anyway.”

She glared at him. “No. No, you don’t.”

He sagged against the wall.

“You do not get to die here. I did not come all the way back into this place to let you die. I don’t care how much you hate me now. So you can just shut up about dying here, because that is one choice you do not get to make. Once we’re out of here, you can die however the hell you want, but it will not be on my time or my watch and it will not be in here. Are we clear?”

He sighed and slumped.

“Jasper, are we clear?”

He nodded. “Fine. Whatever.”

“Good.” She sheathed her knife and helped him to one of the beds, still mostly dry because the water level hadn’t quite reached the mattresses. “Sit up against the wall,” she said as she started pulling cabinet doors and drawers open. In one she found a flashlight. It worked, and not a moment too soon as the remaining light died.

“Come on,” she muttered as she continued looking for medical supplies. “This is a damn med lab. Please tell me Arkadia didn’t get everything from here.” In the last drawer she checked she found what she was looking for and she returned to Jasper’s side. “Okay. I’m going to stitch you up.”

“Um.” He stared at her in the light from the flashlight.

“I’m going to need your help. Hold the flashlight as steady as you can.” She placed it in his hand and squeezed his fingers around it. “Shine it on your leg.”

He did, and though his hand shook a little, she could still see. She used her other knife to cut his trousers away. The thought of using the one she’d stabbed Emerson with made her queasy. That one she would clean several times before using it for something like this.

“Hopefully this won’t hurt as bad as it should, since the cold water probably numbed you a little. No guarantees, though.” She poured alcohol on the wound.

Jasper flinched but didn’t say anything. His breath hissed between his teeth. “Not too bad, as pain goes,” he managed.

“Sorry about this,” she said as she poured alcohol on her hands and inspected his wound in the beam from the flashlight. Fortunately, it had been a clean slice, about six inches long. A jagged wound would have required her to cut away some of the flesh.

She poured more alcohol on her hands and foreceps and prepared the suture needle. Her fingers were numb, but she made sure visually that the foreceps were gripping properly. “Here we go,” she muttered and Jasper took a deep breath.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Damn.”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s not good.”

“Should I stop for a bit?”

“No.”

She worked as quickly as she could. A bad suture job could be worse than none at all, so she concentrated, directing Jasper about where to angle the flashlight.

“Fuck,” he said. “I think the cold is wearing off.” His breath hissed between his teeth and his hand shook.

“Halfway done.” She wiped blood away with a gauze pad. “Hang on.”

He grunted an affirmative and switched his flashlight to his other hand as she continued to work. “Almost there.” Another thud and splash echoed through the room. Clarke guessed more of the ceiling in the corridor had collapsed. She hoped it fell on Emerson.

“Fuck,” Jasper said again and Clarke was glad because it meant he was still conscious.

“Hang in there…and…done. Let me tie this off.” She fumbled a little, her fingers still a bit numb from the cold. “Okay.” She put the forceps in her pack and gently wiped at his leg again. “I’m going to wrap this with cloth. It’s just to keep debris out. My mom should be able to fix you up better once we’re out of here.” She cut more strips off the shirt in her pack and carefully did what she said, making sure it was tight enough to stay in place but not too tight. She used a couple more strips to tie it into place.

When she finished, he leaned back with a sigh. The water level had almost reached the mattress. Clarke took the flashlight from him. “Be right back.” She went into the harvest room. The water was just over her knees. She went to the door into the holding room and tried it. Still locked. She pounded on it. “Hey,” she yelled. “Bellamy? Monty? Are you there?” She searched her pockets for an access card then remembered she’d been trying to use it when Emerson showed up. It wasn’t in the card slot so she shined the flashlight at the water. Debris bobbed in the water, including pieces of plastic and paper, but nothing that looked like an access card. She took a few steps, looking.

“Uh, Clarke?” Jasper called from the other room.

She sloshed over to the doorway. “What?”

“I think the ceiling’s going in here.”

She pointed the flashlight up. He was right. She helped him up and hobbled them to the harvest room as a part near the bed he had just been on fell with a heavy splash.

“Stand here,” she instructed him as she leaned him against the wall near the door into the holding room. “I’m looking for the access card.”

Somebody pounded on the door on the other side and she stopped and stared at it before it registered what was happening.

She pounded back. “Hey,” she yelled. “Bellamy?”

“Clarke?” came his voice, faint, from the other side.

“Yes. And Jasper.”

“Hold on. We’re trying some more things.”

Something else hit the water with a splash in the med lab. More of the ceiling, Clarke guessed. She worked her way around the room, looking for the access card. No guarantee it would work, but it was worth a try.

“Maybe if we smash the card access?” Jasper asked.

“Maybe.” She did another sweep of the room then concentrated her efforts closer to the door. How far could the damn thing float?

Somebody pounded on the door again. “Clarke.”

She pounded back. “What?”

“We shot the card access on this side but it didn’t work. Can you try on your side?”

“Yes.”

She handed Jasper the flashlight and used the hilt of of her knife to smash the card slot. No sparks, which meant no electricity. She pounded on the door. “Nothing. No sparks. Still locked.”

“Hold on,” Bellamy said.

Jasper groaned and sank into a sitting position in the water. It was almost up to his neck.

“No,” she said and she hauled him back upright then took the flashlight from him.

“Tired,” he mumbled. “Just let me rest for a minute.”

“No. Hang on. Hate me a little harder if it helps.” His skin was cold but he was shivering, which meant his body was still functioning as it should to warm him up, but he’d lost blood and it would be harder for him to fight off hypothermia. Something else splashed in the med lab. It was probably just a matter of time before the ceiling in the harvest room started to collapse, too.

Somebody pounded on the door again. “Clarke,” Bellamy said. “Move away from the door.”

She pounded back. “Okay.” She then draped Jasper’s arm over her shoulder and moved him out of range of the door, which would open into the harvest room.

A dull thud sounded on the other side of the door. Then another. And another. She trained the flashlight on the door. It shuddered with each blow, and the water near it rippled. Boom, boom, boom. The ceiling above the door started to rain debris and Clarke chewed her lip, hoping that they could break through before it collapsed.

And then the door gave way in a groaning protest of metal. Clarke shined the flashlight on the doorway. The first people she saw were two Grounder warriors, holding the end of a large metal I-beam. Grounders? They retreated with the beam and Bellamy and Monty pushed into the room.

“Are you okay?” Bellamy asked as he hugged her.

“For now. Jasper’s leg is hurt. He’s lost a lot of blood. He’ll need to be carried.”

Monty and Bellamy immediately supported Jasper as he started to sag.

“He doesn’t have permission to die,” Clarke said to Monty and he gave her a wide-eyed look but smiled. A few more Grounder warriors entered the room, one carrying a torch.

“How—” Clarke started but any further words stopped at the sight of Lexa, in full regalia, standing in the doorway. Her gaze, ethereal in the facepaint and light of the torch, drilled into Clarke’s.

“So we ended up with some help,” Bellamy said with a smile.

Clarke stared at her, and it was like everybody else in the room disappeared. She pushed past the warriors until she was right in front of Lexa. And then, much to Clarke’s surprise and proably Lexa’s, she slid her arms around her neck, mindful of the swords strapped on her back, and pulled her close with a sigh full of relief and much, much more.

Lexa returned the hug and Clarke’s throat tightened with unshed tears.

“Are you injured?” Lexa asked, voice soft near her ear.

“Not seriously.” She clung harder to her, gratified to feel Lexa’s embrace tighten.

“We must go,” Lexa said, gentle, but she didn’t loosen her hold and Clarke closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the solidity of Lexa’s body, not caring that the straps of her armor and coat dug into her chest.

“You came,” Clarke whispered and Lexa hugged her tighter.

“I said I would.”

Clarke swallowed to keep herself from crying.

“Um, not to break up a moment and all, but…” Sam said, pointing at the ceiling.

With a mighty effort, Clarke stepped away from Lexa and let Monty and Bellamy half-drag Jasper through the doorway into the holding room. The warriors without torches followed them and Lexa reached for Clarke’s arm to guide her out of the harvest room.

“Clarke,” came a wheezing voice from the med lab and Emerson lurched into the harvest room, holding a pistol. The front of his shirt was completely soaked with blood. How was he even able to stand? “Oh, I didn’t realize we had company. Want to cut another deal, Commander?” he rasped. “Your people for Griffin?” he taunted, brandishing the gun. The warrior with the torch drew his knife but Lexa was faster and before Clarke even registered what was happening, Lexa had one of her swords out and she had sliced Emerson’s hand off. It fell, with the gun still in it, to the water. He stared at her, dumbfounded, and she pressed the tip of her blade to his throat.

“Clarke _is_ my people,” she said in a tone far colder than the water’s chill. And in a smooth, swift motion she cut his throat open. His eyes widened even more and he slumped to the water, face down, his body floating like so much debris. Without another glance at him, Lexa dipped her blade for a cursory cleaning and sheathed it.

“Let us leave this place,” she said, her gaze locked onto Clarke’s. “Can you walk?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said with a smile, though she was shivering from cold and trembling from exhaustion. She let Lexa guide her into the holding room, her hand on her arm, the touch reassuring and full of promise.

“Clarke,” Kane said and he pulled her into a hug. “Are you okay?”

She laughed. “Physically, probably.”

“When you’re up to it, I want the full story.”

“I can give you my part. Bellamy’s is different, though.”

He released her and saw Gina behind him.

“Wait,” Clarke said. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” she said. “Ran into a little trouble but the Commander took care of it.”

“A story for another time,” Lexa said at Clarke’s expression. “Come.”

The sound of debris falling in the harvest room punctuated her words and Clarke let her lead her to the stairwell to the tunnels and she welcomed Lexa’s hold on her down the stairs. Water was running down them and through the door so the tunnel floor was muddy, but Clarke would take that over what she was leaving behind.

They were joined by more of Lexa’s warriors the farther away from the entrance into the mountain they got, some holding torches. Two took Jasper from Monty and Bellamy and carried him. Bellamy fell into step on the other side of Clarke while Monty walked with Harper.

“The Commander showed up as we were trying to get the door open,” Bellamy said. “And yes, we were very glad to see her.”

“How did you know to come?” Clarke asked her as they walked.

“Octavia’s message got to Kane. So I knew to go to the mountain much sooner than expected.”

“Where is Octavia?”

“Outside,” Lexa said. “She said Raven was on her way down from the top of the mountain.”

As if to emphasize that point, Wash appeared. “ _Heda_ ,” he said in obvious relief, grinning. “And _Wanheda_. It is very good to see you.”

“And you,” Lexa said. She had released Clarke’s arm, but she stayed close enough that she brushed against her shoulder every few steps, and it sent a wave of deep, warm comfort through her bones every time it happened.

Clarke smiled at him. “ _Mochof_ , Wash. _Gon ething._ ”4

“ _No, Klark kom Skaikru. Nodotaim_ , _yu don hod Maun-de op_. _Ai ron yu op ai mochof_.” 5

“ _Tona don sis ai op_.” 6

Lexa smiled and her fingers brushed Clarke’s, sending a wave of something besides comfort up her arm.

“I told him I had lots of help,” Clarke said to Bellamy. “Excellent work on the missiles, by the way.”

“Yeah, well, I guess you got your way. The mountain is now officially uninhabitable.”

“That’s not entirely my fault,” she shot back, then relaxed when she saw his smile.

“Hey,” he said with a chuckle, “I think maybe you were right this time, too. That place is nothing but bad news.”

“Did you hear that, Monty?” Clarke said.

“Which part?”

“About me being right.”

“Yep.” He laughed.

“Good. You’re my witness.”

Lexa’s fingers brushed hers again and she knew it was deliberate. She gave Lexa’s hand a quick, furtive squeeze and thought she caught the hint of a smile on her lips. By the time they arrived at the tunnel’s entrance, Clarke was so tired she could barely pick up her feet, but when they emerged into the sunlight, cheers greeted them and she realized that dozens of warriors had been waiting. Lexa waited for the cheers to die down and then she addressed them in Trigedasleng, explaining that the missiles had been destroyed and the mountain was flooding and would no longer harbor anyone. Clarke heard her credit _Skaikru_ and _Wanheda_ , which brought another round of cheers, and then she thanked the _kongeda_.

The cheering went on and on but the sun felt so good on Clarke’s skin that she didn’t mind being the object of attention.

“Clarke,” Lexa said after a few more minutes, when the cheering had died down, “I must take care of a few things.”

“I know.”

“Kane has summoned Abby to my camp. My warriors will bring you there, as it is much closer than Arkadia. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “And I hope that _Heda_ finds time to continue a certain conversation.”

Lexa’s expression shifted from guarded to relieved and something else, something that heated behind the emerald of her gaze. “Definitely.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

“ _En yu_.” 7 She flashed a smile at her that practically had Clarke buckling at the knees then turned and walked over to Arling who stood with three other warriors.

Clarke watched her go, watched the way she moved and how authority seemed to roll off her in waves and her heart pounded. She remembered the feel of Lexa’s lips on hers and the warmth of her body and the strength of her arms and she wanted every part of her, wanted to give herself over to the Commander’s touch, secure in the knowledge that Lexa had come for her, as she said she would. She turned her face to the sun, not sure what to do next and not caring, either.

“Hey,” Raven said. “You look like hell.”

Clarke opened her eyes and grinned. “Thanks. So do you. Bathe much?”

Raven laughed. “Unlike you, I had to slog down a muddy mountain without the benefit of a mountain-wide pool.” She hugged her. “I am so glad to see you.”

“That’s probably a first.”

“Shut up, Griffin. I’m giving you compliments. You should enjoy them while they last.”

“Oh, is that what you’re doing?”

Raven released her and stepped back, though she kept her hands on Clarke’s shoulders. “When I heard about the flooding, I wondered if you’d been able to get to the silo.”

“Wasn’t me. That was Bellamy and Harper. And Jasper helped draw Pike away.”

“Well, Monty told me exactly what you were up to. Maybe one of these days run _away_ from danger rather than _toward_ it.”

“I’ll think about it. Was that you, blowing up the silo after the launch?”

She grinned. “Yeah. Not bad, huh? I blew the silo hatch so it couldn’t close and I was going to toss the grenades in then, but Emerson launched way sooner than we thought.” Her eyes clouded and she dropped her hands from Clarke’s shoulders. “Had to wait for the missile to clear and then I tossed ’em in to hopefully keep him from launching more. But that was probably one of the scariest things I’ve seen, that missile launching.”

Clarke hugged her again. “I am so glad my mom convinced you to come to the ground early.”

“And I am so glad you’re a stubborn pain-in-the-ass _Wanheda_ -for-hire.”

She smiled. “I might take a break, actually. Being _Wanheda_ is a lot of work.”

“I can imagine.” They both lapsed into silence and watched the warriors moving around. Some mounted horses and rode off in different directions. Clarke found Lexa’s form in the crowd, as if there was some kind of magnet between them. She was talking to another group of warriors.

“By the way,” Raven said, following her gaze, “I’ve revised my opinion of the Commander.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Gina just told me what happened.”

Clarke waited.

“Oh, you don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Ice Nation snagged her and took her to Nia’s camp.”

She stared at her. “What? When?”

“Hell, last night. Lexa and Arling snuck in and managed to set a bunch of fires and get her out.”

“Are you serious?”

“Oh, yeah. But Gina had one of my grenades.”

“The explosion.”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

Clarke shook her head, piecing together what Raven had said. “Monty hacked the video feeds. We saw it.” She sighed. “Bellamy was right. I put her in danger. I’m so sorry, Raven. I didn’t mean—”

“Stop it.”

“No, it’s true. I pressured her. He’s right.”

Raven gripped her arm. “Stop it. She made her choice and she already had a chat with him about him blaming you for what happened. The important thing here is that Lexa got her out and she’s with us now.”

“Lexa snuck into Nia’s camp with only one other person?”

“They had another guy on the outside keeping watch,” Raven said, as if that somehow made the whole idea of Lexa in Nia’s camp any easier to take. “And then a few more showed up to help right after the explosion.”

She was silent for a while, watching Lexa again, who swung into the saddle of a horse. Her gaze, even across several dozen feet, unerringly found Clarke’s and she waved at her before she turned the horse and rode deeper into the forest.

“And then there’s the part where Lexa came to the mountain to help get you out,” Raven said. “That helped me revise my opinion, too.”

Clarke smiled. “I’m glad.”

“Hey,” Gina said as she approached. “You didn’t tell Clarke what happened to me, did you?”

Raven flushed. “Um.”

Gina rolled her eyes. “And Clarke immediately decided it was her fault, right?”

Raven shot Clarke a look.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said. “I shouldn’t have asked you to play decoy.”

“Knock it off, Griffin. Bellamy already tried that, and it’s shit. I went because I wanted to, and it was the right thing to do. Stop it with the martyr complex.”

She raised her eyebrows and Raven looked at the ground.

“Everything worked out,” Gina said. “And I will also say that I totally understand why you trust Lexa. I will support any alliance we have with her.”

Clarke nodded. “I’m glad. I’ll probably need some help convincing people.”

“I’ll do what I can.” She hugged her, much to Clarke’s surprise. “I also see why people follow _you_. And I’ll do it again if you need me to.” She stepped back.

“Not sure about the ‘following’ thing. How about joint ventures?”

“Sure.”

“Clarke.”

She looked up at Kane’s voice.

“I think we need to go to Lexa’s camp now. You need medical attention, food, and rest. Did she tell you Abby’s on the way?”

“Yeah. I’m prepared.”

Raven coughed to hide a laugh.

“You’ll ride with Wash,” Kane said, studiously ignoring Raven’s reaction. “Wait here.”

“Okay. Oh, how’s Jasper?”

“Already on his way to Lexa’s.” He regarded her for a few moments. “Well done, Clarke. Well done.” He walked away and it occurred to her that he was dressed as a Grounder. She smiled.

“Guess we’ll see you at camp,” Gina said.

“Yeah. You’ll probably have to share a tent.” Clarke gave Raven a sly look and she flushed again.

Before she could retort, Wash arrived with a horse.

“It is my honor to take you to _Heda_ ’s camp,” he said.

“ _Mochof_.”

He mounted first and helped her into the saddle behind him. She settled herself and held onto his shoulders. “Kane will return with your escorts,” he said to Gina and Raven.

“Thanks.” Gina waved at Clarke. “See you soon.”

She nodded and braced herself as Wash urged the horse into the forest. She finally felt warm, after all the hours she’d spent in the mountain. But it was more than a physical warmth. It was something deeper, and it seemed to be replacing the pull of the ghosts that had plagued her for months. Underlying it all, she knew, was Lexa. Once they both had some time, Clarke wanted to make sure Lexa understood what she’d come to mean in her life.

She smiled, sparks racing up her spine, and settled in for the ride to the camp.

  
4 _Gon ething_ : for everything [you’ve seen this one. Woo!]   
5 _No, Klark kom Skaikru_. _Nodotaim, you don hod Maun-de op. Ai ron yu op ai mochof_ *: No, Clarke of/from Skaikru. Again, you stopped the mountain. I thank you. [took some liberties with “mochof,” here. Peterson doesn’t seem to have a noun for “thanks,” so I used the expression for thanks as a noun, since context in Trigedasleng conveys meaning, as well.]   
6 _Tona don sis ai op_ : Countless others/many helped [Clarke is giving credit where it’s due.]   
7 _En yu_ : and you [singular]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW! How was THAT, friends? Aren't you glad I didn't leave you hanging after the last chapter? And YES! CLEXA IS IN THE HOUSE ONCE AGAIN. I've got more CLEXA coming up, so I hope you stick around.
> 
> I gotta tell you, I was exhausted after finishing this chapter. Probably not as much as Clarke's kru or Lexa's, but still.
> 
> Really hope you enjoyed this ride into and out of the mountain and I hope it was worth sticking with me. There is still more to come and yes, there will be more Clarke and Lexa time. OMG. SOON! VERY VERY SOON! So hope you stay with me.
> 
> NOTE: I may not be able to post next Friday, as I'm on the road and will lose a weekend and may not be able to get this next chapter finished. I'm writing slightly longer chapters, and that takes a bit more time. If I don't, maybe I'll post a week from Monday. If not, sorry. Friday after next. But at least now we can relax a bit. MUAH HA HA!
> 
> AND THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kudos and comments! I try to respond to comments ASAP. If you don't hear from me right away, though, don't worry. I'll get there!
> 
> Some tunes that kept me company during the writing of this longish chapter: Mr Little Jeans, "Stitches"; Bleachers, "Like a River Runs"; Halsey, "Hold Me Down"


	48. In Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at camp, Lexa has a talk with Roan and then lets Clarke and Kane know about something the natrona are saying. Also, Nia's on the move.

“ _Heda_ , _hainofa_ Roan has arrived,” Arling said, standing at the entrance to her tent.

She nodded and got up from the table where she’d just finished eating, the first time she had a moment to do so since long before dawn, when she had gone to the mountain. And now here it was hours after she’d emerged with Clarke. She hadn’t slept in a day, either, and she knew that she needed to, but her duties precluded even that. She still wore her regalia, though she had recently reapplied her facepaint.

Arling was waiting outside, and escorted her toward the edge of camp, flanked by four other warriors. Roan stood amidst several _Azgeda_ warriors who had not drawn any weapons. He dipped his head as she approached

“ _Heda_. I received word from a _Trikru_ scout that _Skaikru_ had been successful in the mountain and that you requested my presence.”

“I did, _hainofa_. Please. Accompany me. Bring two of your _gonakru_ as witness.”

Surprise showed in his eyes but he motioned at two of his soldiers to follow and he fell into step with her as she returned to her tent. Her camp had nearly doubled in size since that morning, and warriors from many different clans moved about, engaged in various tasks. The guards at her tent held the flaps open as she entered. Arling peeled off and jogged away while the four warriors that had accompanied her to retrieve Roan also went into her tent and positioned themselves behind her as she motioned for Roan to sit at the table. His warriors stood just behind him.

A few moments later Atlan entered, followed by Kris, of _Trishana_. She stood easily as tall as Roan, and her reddish hair was piled on her head in a complicated mixture of braids and dreadlocks. A patchwork pattern of scars and tattoos decorated the right side of her face and descended down her neckline where it was visible above the collar of her shirt.

“ _Heda_ ,” Kris murmured in tangent with Atlan.

“As is customary in such matters,” Lexa said to Roan, “representatives from at least two clans not involved in the matter under discussion must serve as witness. Are these representatives suitable?”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said and Lexa nodded. Both Kris and Atlan seated themselves at the table.

“ _Roan kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, “in accordance with a bargain struck in Polis before the clan council a few days ago, I have called you here this day in order for me to meet my part of that which was agreed.”

He kept quiet, and his warriors remained stone-faced.

“In the agreement that was struck, you provided aid as necessary to the _kongeda_. You did position your _gonakru_ at _Maun-de_ and coordinated with _Kris kom Trishana_ as needed to ensure the security of the _kongeda_ and the containment of forces led by _plana_ Nia. It is my understanding, according to _Kris kom Trishana_ , that your warriors captured and detained a party of _natrona_ from the mountain and turned them over to her.”

“ _Sha_ ,” he murmured.

Kris nodded, her steady gaze on Roan.

“I have also been told that you have indeed sown discontent among Nia’s forces here, and that you have sent a party to _Azgeda_ to further assess the mood with regard to her and her leadership.” Lexa paused. “You have thus fulfilled your terms of the bargain.”

Roan regarded her, a flash of respect in his eyes and she knew in that moment she had made him an ally.

“I thus have brought you here, in the presence of two of your _gonakru_ , four of mine, and two representatives of clans not of your birthright and not of mine, and not involved in this matter. I have done this to formally lift your banishment.” She glanced at Atlan and Kris. “Do the _Floukru_ or _Trishana_ representatives wish to speak of this matter?”

“I support the lifting of _hainofa_ Roan’s banishment,” Atlan said.

“As do I.” Kris looked first at Roan, then Lexa.

“So it shall be. _Hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ , your banishment is thus lifted.”

He fought a smile of relief, trying to maintain formality. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

“I must inform you, however, that should you continue to seek to challenge Nia that she has engaged in an act of war against _kongeda_ forces when she attacked a combined _gonakru_ of _Floukru_ and _Trikru_ warriors barely a day ago and took a _Skaikru_ hostage. Fortunately, the _Skaikru_ escaped, but _Floukru_ and _Trikru_ lost warriors. In that regard, I am thus beholden on behalf of the _kongeda_ and as _Heda_ and _Trikru_ to demand an accounting from her.”

Roan grimaced. “May I express my sorrow at this loss, _Heda_. I wish to ensure that you and the _kongeda_ do not associate the warriors who serve me with _plana_ Nia.”

She inclined her head in acknowledgement of his statement. “I would now inform you that I have alerted Nia that I will personally seek an accounting from her.”

He raised his eyebrows. “When will you have this accounting?”

Lexa allowed a grim smile to play on her lips. “That might depend on when you decide to launch a formal challenge of her rule.”

He nodded, thinking. “I expect to know more about what is happening in _Azgeda_ in the next two days.” He held her gaze. “Perhaps you might tell her to appear for accounting in Polis soon, before the council of clans.”

“What are you proposing?”

He shrugged. “Should you issue the request for her to appear in, say, five days, that means she most likely will go to Polis before she returns to _Azgeda_. That gives me a little extra time to prepare some things.”

“I cannot engage in any challenge that you may issue to any clan leader besides myself,” she said. “Any plans you have for a challenge against Nia are out of my purview. However, I will of course make it known when I call her to account, and I will schedule that for Polis within the next few days. What others do with that news is not necessarily my concern.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, and she knew he understood her sidestep for the political maneuver it was. She would not challenge Nia because it lowered her to Nia’s level and she would lose capital with the clans, but far be it from her to stand in the way of someone else’s challenge of her. And though she could not condone or oppose his challenge, she could make information available.

“Very well.” She stood. “Then our business here is concluded. _Mochof_ , _hainofa_.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” He stood, too, along with Kris and Atlan. “I will provide news, as well, once I have it.”

She nodded in acknowledgement. “Please provide _hainofa Roan kom Azgeda_ an escort should he require it,” she directed her warriors. They waited for Roan to exit with his warriors before they followed him out of the tent. Lexa turned her attention to Atlan and Kris.

“Tell me of the _natrona_ you have detained.”

Kris smiled. “A sorry lot. Not at all prepared to deal with the forests. There are four of them.”

“Is a man named Pike among them?”

“No.”

“He is one of the leaders from Arkadia. There is some debate about whether the other—a man named Sanders—escaped the mountain. All of the _natrona_ in _Maun-de_ are originally from Arkadia. _Klark kom Skaikru_ has assured me that they are no longer welcome among _Skaikru_ , but some may attempt to return.”

“What would you have us do with those we detain?”

“Send them to Polis for extended detention, until _Skaikru_ can send a representative. I will alert Titus, Indra, and Clarke of this arrangement.”

Atlan nodded, satisfied, as did Kris.

“Did they say anything about where they might have been going?”

Kris shrugged. “The City of Light.”

Lexa frowned. “How do they know of this?”

“They said a _Skaikru_ who came to the ground separate from the Ark landed in the Dead Zone, where he encountered some outsiders who told him the tale.”

She pursed her lips for a moment. “Was this man’s name Jaha?”

“I don’t know.” Kris looked at Atlan, who shook her head.

“That is not a name I’ve heard,” she said.

“Mmm. This man Jaha was Chancellor before the Ark came to the ground, and he did land in the Dead Zone. He is not to be trusted, should you encounter him.” She would have to discuss this with Clarke. “See if any of the detained _natrona_ mention Jaha. And find out what else they might know of the City of Light. Alert me about anything you discover.”

“ _Sha_ ,” both Atlan and Kris said.

“ _Mochof_ for serving as witness. And for your service here at _Maun-de_.”

“I am always at your service, _Heda_ ,” Kris said with a smile. “And any time Nia appears anywhere, trouble is bound to follow. May I say that I hope the _hainofa_ is successful.”

“As am I.” Atlan shot Lexa a look. “Though that is not a view I would share openly, as I strive to consider many different perspectives.”

Kris made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. “Nia has ensured that she has little, if any, welcome left among the clans. Much to the detriment of the whole of _Azgeda_. Regardless, be careful, _Heda_. It’s not uncommon knowledge that she has been seeking to be Commander since you Ascended.”

“Or at least to control a Commander,” Atlan amended. “She may seek to install Ontari.”

Kris shook her head. “The spirit of the Commander would not choose her. She is not worthy. Besides, _Heda Leksa_ is formidable. This is why Nia has yet to challenge her.”

Lexa hid her smile and Atlan nodded in agreement. “And perhaps she never will. Let us hope for that.”

“Indeed.” Kris smiled down at them both. “If there’s nothing else, _Heda_?”

“Not at this time.”

“I will send the _natrona_ to Polis and wait until you give the order to disperse.”

“It may be a few days,” Lexa said. “And I will require the clan council at Polis to deal with Nia’s accounting.”

“As I said, I am always at your service, _Heda_. I await your orders.”

Lexa nodded in dismissal and Kris slipped out of the tent.

“When did you last sleep?” Atlan asked and Lexa allowed her smile to show. Atlan was one of those from whom she allowed liberties because of her wisdom and willingness to both agree and disagree with her.

“You sound like Balta. Or Titus.” And Clarke, she finished silently.

“They are not here in your tent, so I’m taking it upon myself to ensure that _Heda_ is rested and fed.”

“I did just eat.” She knew she probably sounded petulant.

Atlan shrugged. “So rest. If anything important requires your attention, I will alert you.”

Lexa hesitated. Exhaustion weighed in her bones and she knew she was right. She sighed and nodded and Atlan smiled. She helped Lexa remove her armor and weapons and supplied water and cloths for Lexa to clean up a bit.

“Rest first, _Heda_. Fully bathe later.” Atlan took a seat at the table and Lexa crawled under her furs. Her last coherent thoughts were of Clarke. Knowing she was safe and near brought her comfort and she relaxed immediately into sleep.

###

“You did excellent work on this given the circumstances.” Abby looked up from Jasper’s leg wound. He was stretched out on a pile of furs on the floor of one of the extra tents erected for _Skaikru_ in Lexa’s camp.

“He was losing too much blood,” Clarke said with a shrug. “And it was a clean slice, fortunately.”

Abby stood. “I’m a little concerned because we don’t have much by way of antibiotics, though. So let’s keep an eye on this. Jasper, you need to really keep it covered and minimize you activities for a few days to give it time to start healing.”

“Will do. I think I could sleep for a week.”

Bellamy poked his head in the tent. “Hey, Chancellor. Any chance you could check Harper and Gina? They keep saying they’re fine, but I know how they are. Oh, and Monty’s hand, too.”

“Sure.”

He smiled at Clarke and withdrew.

“About the antibiotics,” Clarke said.

“What? We obviously can’t get any more from Mt. Weather.”

She ignored the dig. “We don’t need to. The healer in Polis who took care of me uses a variety of salves that have infection-fighting qualities. They’re made from local herbs and plants. I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to her.”

Abby nodded. “Sounds like it would be. The problem, however, is that we’re not in Polis and the healer is not here.”

“No, but Lexa always travels with a healer, and whoever it is will have salves. You can start using them on Jasper. As far as Balta—the healer in Polis—is concerned, I really think you should go and I think Balta should also visit you at Arkadia. She’s interested in _Skaikru_ medicine.”

Abby looked like she wanted to contradict her, but instead she nodded again. “Sounds good. I want to make sure that Jasper’s leg heals well. So if you could maybe introduce me to the healer Lexa has with her right now, I can get Jasper started.” She leaned in and planted a kiss on Clarke’s forehead. “Let me go check on the others. Harper and Gina have been avoiding me.” She smiled and ducked outside and Clarke was glad that she was preoccupied with medical issues because it provided a way for the two of them to communicate without their usual contentiousness.

She glanced over at Jasper. “Can you try to take it easy?”

“Already trying.”

“Good.” She helped him get more settled on the furs and arranged one so he could elevate his injured leg. “My mom will check on you later.” She turned to go.

“Clarke,” he said.

She waited.

“Thanks.”

She knew he was conveying much more than just stitching him up. She gave him a quick smile and left. Though she had gotten several hours of sleep soon after Wash had brought her to camp, she was still tired. The angle of the sun indicated it was late afternoon, and she was hungry again, and it was probably a good sign that she had an appetite. Lexa had arranged for Abby and Kane’s tent to be a center of activity for _Skaikru_ , so she went there and got a couple pieces of bread and some dried meat. The flavor was different than what was available at Arkadia, and it made her long for Polis.

After she finished and drank from an available waterskin, she wiped her hands on her trousers and looked around for someone from _Trikru_ she could ask about Lexa’s healer. Her gaze fell on Lexa herself, who was walking slowly toward her, talking with Octavia, who said something that caused Lexa to smile and look up. Her smile widened when she saw Clarke.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said with an equally wide answering smile. Lexa had dressed down, she noticed, to light armor. She was without her coat, swords, and facepaint, but armed with her knives. Tam stood a couple paces behind. She caught Clarke’s eye and smiled.

“Clarke,” Lexa said. “Octavia has told me something that Jasper said earlier today.”

“Oh?”

“According to Jasper, the wounds in Emerson’s chest were caused by your knife.” She raised an eyebrow and Clarke somehow managed to remain standing.

“Yeah. They were.”

“And was Jasper correct in how your knife initially ended up in Emerson's chest?”

“Depends. What did he say?”

Octavia laughed. “Don’t be so modest. He said you threw it a good fifteen feet, from the med lab into the corridor, through an open door.”

Clarke recognized the hint of a grin on Lexa’s lips that she wasn’t going to show just yet. “It was a lucky throw. I had to do something, and that was it.”

“Mmm. From Jasper’s description, it sounds as if you have some natural talent for knife-throwing, _Klark kom Skaikru_. Perhaps you would be interested in exploring it.”

Clarke’s throat went dry and she was sure she had lost all ability to speak, held in the teasing, warm grip of Lexa’s gaze. The Commander’s flirting was as disarming as her battle skills.

“Oh, hell, Clarke, you have to. This is the Commander offering.”

She kept her gaze on Lexa’s as she answered Octavia. “What _Heda_ has not mentioned is that she did, in fact, give me some lessons in knife-throwing while I was in Polis. What she does not know is that since then, I’ve been working on my grip as she instructed.”

The grin Lexa had been hiding curved her lips upward and lit up her eyes. She chuckled. “I am pleased that my initial teachings have already served you well. Imagine what more could do.”

Octavia’s eyes narrowed and she looked from Lexa to Clarke, puzzled.

“And we can discuss that later, _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, redirecting the conversation. “I know you have many other things to attend to. Right now, however, I was hoping that I might trouble you for an introduction to the healer here in camp. Abby is interested in the salves _Trikru_ uses for wounds, and Jasper is in need of some.”

“Certainly. I will ensure that _Jef kom Trikru_ 1 is made available immediately. Perhaps the Chancellor would be interested in coming to Polis in the near future to confer with Balta, as well.”

“I think the Chancellor would be honored were Balta to do that. _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

Kane’s greeting came from behind Clarke and she stepped out of his way as he approached Lexa with an enthusiasm she hadn’t seen him exhibit toward her to this extent.

“ _Heda_.” He beamed. “I know I speak for all of _Skaikru_ when I offer my gratitude for providing us a place in your camp.” He smiled at Clarke, too, and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“Of course, _Markus kom Skaikru_. Have you news?”

“I just spoke to Sinclair and he informed me that Indra has seen _Azgeda_ forces retreating from the forests around Arkadia. She has scouts following a few of the groups. Sinclair has also said that we should be able to return to Arkadia within the next day or so. Later if we need it.”

“I will provide an escort, because you will also need help transporting Jasper,” Lexa said, as if anticipating what Clarke was thinking.

“Thank you.”

“I might also ask if you and Clarke have some time,” Lexa said. “There are a few things we need to discuss.”

He glanced at Clarke, a question in his eyes.

“Yes,” she said. “When?”

“As soon as possible. Perhaps you might accompany me now.” She didn’t phrase it as a question.

“Done,” Kane said.

“ _Os_. I would complete my tour of _Skaikru_ quarters first to ensure that your needs are met. Will you both join me?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, and she fell into step next to Lexa. Octavia remained on the other side. They walked past Abby’s tent toward the larger one next to it that housed Clarke and the other _Skaikru_. As they approached, Abby emerged.

“I’ll see if I can get something for those bruises,” she said through the tent flap and then straightened when she saw Lexa. “Commander.” She gave Lexa a respectful nod.

“Chancellor. Clarke has informed me that you are interested in some of the salves our healers use. I will send Jef to you with them. He speaks English. One of our best is Balta. She is in Polis and would be most amenable to meeting with you, should you wish.”

“I—thank you, Commander.”

“Is everything else to your satisfaction?”

Clarke bit her lip to keep from smiling. Abby hadn’t seen this side of Lexa—the side that made her beloved in Polis among her people and always surprised those whose opinions of her were more cautious.

“Yes. Thank you. Do any of your warriors require extra medical assistance? I’d be glad to work with your healers in that regard.”

Kane shot Abby an appreciative look.

“I accept your offer and will send a few with Jef. I was also hoping that I might take some time now with Clarke and Kane.”

Abby’s expression registered surprise that Lexa would request such from her, but she nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. I’ll be in this area checking on injuries.” She gestured at the row of _Skaikru_ tents. “Thank you.”

“Should you require anything, let Clarke or one of my warriors know.”

“And if I can be of service, please inform me.”

Lexa gave her a nod. “I will take my leave, Chancellor. Clarke and Kane, are you able to give me some time now?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke said. Kane nodded. To Abby, she said, “We’ll be back.”

“Things are under control, fortunately.” Abby gave her a tired smile. “Thank you again, Commander.”

“Certainly. Jef will arrive shortly.”

Lexa continued walking, Tam behind her and Clarke and Kane flanking her.

“ _Heda_ , please let me know if I can be of further assistance,” Octavia said.

“Does that include more stories about Clarke?”

Kane glanced at Lexa, surprised, and Clarke glared at Octavia.

“It could.” Octavia shot a sly glance at Clarke.

“Then your assistance is always welcome. _Mochof_.”

Octavia returned to Abby’s tent and Clarke hoped the blush she felt on her neck wasn’t obvious. “Stories?” she said to Lexa.

“Mmm. It seems there is much I have to learn about you,” she said, affecting an air of innocence. “But there are some challenges I like.”

Kane’s eyes widened and Clarke knew the blush was spreading up her neck.

“Did you allow Abby to check your injuries?” Lexa asked, still with a hint of the teasing undercurrent she used with her.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I passed inspection.”

Kane laughed.

“Have you rested?” Lexa quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes. I slept a few hours.”

“You may need a bit more.”

“I’m sure Balta would say the same thing, were she here.”

“And I’m sure you’d pay it more mind.”

Clarke grinned. “ _Heda_ is indeed wise.”

Lexa chuckled, and the sound sent waves of heat down Clarke’s thighs. She didn’t respond, as she had to deal with a few warriors who stopped her. A few minutes later, she ordered another to find Jef and send him to the _Skaikru_ tents. Tam did not accompany them inside and instead remained near the entrance with the other warrior who, Clarke decided, was about the size of two regular _Trikru_.

Lexa gestured them both to chairs at the table as she sat down. “ _Trishana_ captured four _Natrona_. They will be taken to Polis for longer detention until you and Kane can address them and assess punishment.”

Kane shifted, uneasy, in his chair. “Do they want to return to Arkadia?”

“No,” Lexa said. “Rather, they appear to be interested in the City of Light.”

Clarke frowned. “Isn’t that what Jaha was going on about when he took that group out of Arkadia a few months ago?”

Kane nodded, also frowning. “And when he came back briefly. I thought that was a myth he picked up from some of the people in the Dead Zone.”

“It is a belief among some,” Lexa said. “A place of safety and abundance, beyond the Dead Zone.”

“Is it real?”

Lexa looked at her. “There are a few who claim that they have seen something beyond the Dead Zone, but it’s not a city. It’s a large castle, perhaps. But the stories of a city persist.”

“I guess in a place that requires a constant fight for survival, it’s nice to have hope for something where you don’t have to do that.”

Clarke glanced at him then at Lexa. “How prevalent is this belief among the clans?”

“Not very. But I worry that someone like Jaha may be successful at creating unrest. After all, the story seems to have taken hold among your _natrona_.”

Clarke thought for a moment. “In the mountain, Sanders said something about there being another option, and that they planned for it.”

“You think he was talking about this City of Light?” Kane asked.

“Possibly. Given what Lexa just said, it makes sense.” She looked at her. “Jaha disappeared from Arkadia weeks ago. He could be dead, for all we know.”

“Regardless, his story seems to have taken hold among some _Skaikru_.” Lexa leaned forward. “It may be best to ensure the story does not spread farther than it already has. It is my experience that beliefs without foundation can cause more problems than those with.”

Kane clasped his hands on the table. “Given what happened with those who left Arkadia, it seems you’re right.”

“That decision also involved politics and prejudice,” Clarke said. “But it does seem best to monitor how far Jaha managed to spread the idea.” She shifted her gaze back to Lexa. “How long before you need a decision regarding the _natrona_ in your custody?”

She sat back. “That is for _Skaikru_ to decide.”

“I’d imagine sooner rather than later.” Kane looked at Clarke then at Lexa. “Does it require the clan council?”

“No.”

“The _natrona_ are not welcome at Arkadia,” Clarke said, tone flat and hard. “We established that before I went back to the mountain. They’re on their own.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, and she heard the worry in his tone.

“Yes. They can’t be trusted and it sounds like they’ve already bought into this whole City of Light thing, so they’ll only try to convince others at Arkadia and then we’ll have another situation where several want to leave or, worse yet, install someone as Chancellor who believes the same way.”

“I agree with Clarke,” Lexa said. “It is dangerous to allow the _natrona_ access to Arkadia.”

“So…what, then?” Kane sounded frustrated.

“Banishment,” Clarke said. “And it’s announced in Polis and at Arkadia, to ensure that the _kongeda_ knows we took that step. If anyone tries to help any _natrona_ who followed Pike and Sanders to the mountain, they, too, will risk punishment.”

“What kind?” Kane pressed.

“Among the clans,” Lexa said, “those who help the banished lose a finger from each hand. It serves as a warning for others, since we take the same finger from each hand, and also as a reminder to the person who provided aid to the banished.”

Kane cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

“It’s a better fate than getting floated,” Clarke said, her tone colder than she meant it to be.

“I’m not sure I can convince Abby to do it,” he said. “Is there something else we might use that is more along the lines of _Skaikru_?”

“Fine. A brand of some sort. On the hand.”

He frowned, but nodded. “That could work. We’ll talk in greater detail about what might be appropriate later.”

“I’m still the official _Skaikru_ representative to the council. Will you back me up on the banishment decision?”

“Yes. And you’re right that we do need some kind of visible punishment. It’s better than getting floated and it’s a signal to everyone in the _kongeda_. Since we’re working to become more a part of this world, it also makes sense to try to adopt a few things or create alternatives that still reflect the reality that we are trying to become more a part of the ground.

Clarke shot a glance at Lexa, whose expression remained, as always in situations like this, unreadable. “Thank you. I’ll return to Polis with Lexa to deal with the _natrona_ ,” she said. “Provided she approves,” she added.

“Yes. I do. The council will also appreciate this quick action on the part of _Skaikru_.” A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and Clarke ached for a moment alone with her.

“We should think about designating you as a more permanent _Skaikru_ representative,” Kane said. “If _Heda_ and the council are amenable to Clarke working in that capacity.”

“We are. Presuming Clarke is willing to take the role.” Lexa raised her eyebrows and sparks raced down Clarke’s spine.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said, glad that her voice betrayed nothing.

“Is there a ceremony for such?”

Lexa shifted her gaze to Kane. “It can be part of the formalization of _Skaikru_ ’s role in the _kongeda_ , and that can be scheduled after the _natrona_ in my custody are dealt with. It will require council presence.”

“We are at your service, _Heda_ ,” he said. “Are there other matters you wish to discuss?”

She looked from him to Clarke. “I am calling Nia to account for her deal with Emerson and her attack on _Floukru_ and _Trikru_ in which Gina was captured.”

Clarke leaned forward, intent. “What do you need from us?”

“Your presence at the accounting in Polis. Nia knows she should appear because word about what happened at _Maun-de_ is spreading through the clans and she is losing support she once enjoyed. She will thus attempt to plead her case to the council. I have also lifted the banishment on her son, and he may yet issue a challenge against her.”

Clarke stared at her. “Roan?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Lexa said. “He and his forces aided us here at the mountain and helped capture the _natrona_ of which we spoke earlier. There are many among _Azgeda_ who tire of Nia’s leadership.”

“Can you help him?”

Lexa regarded Kane for a moment. “I cannot interfere in any challenge issued that does not directly concern me unless it is requested that I or the council mediate. _Roan kom Azgeda_ will not request that, because he knows Nia would use it to discredit him.”

But Lexa could still have a role in directing the challenge in some way, Clarke knew, because she was always steps ahead. It occurred to her that Lexa had been steps ahead of Nia for years—probably since Costia or even before that—pushing a strategy here, setting something else into motion elsewhere. She also knew that Lexa would reveal more when she felt it would bring the most benefit.

“When will you require Nia to face the council?” she asked.

“Once I request her presence in Polis, she has seven days to respond either request more time or to arrive. I will alert the clans and they will have three days from receipt of my message to come to Polis. Nia will face the council the day after all have arrived.”

“So even if Nia waits to go to Polis until the seventh day, the council may already be present and you can have the accounting the day after that.” Kane rubbed his jaw.

“That is a possibility,” Lexa said. “And Nia will be aware of that.”

“What if Nia refuses to go to Polis?” Clarke asked.

“Then it is an act of war. Given Nia’s current standing among the clans, she will not take that risk.” Lexa spoke matter-of-factly, as if war was something she had to deal with every day. Clarke caught herself. It was, on the ground.

Kane nodded slowly, as if absorbing Lexa’s words. “When will you order her to Polis?”

“Soon.”

He started to respond, then closed his mouth. Clarke knew Lexa’s decision had been made before she announced it to them, and that it was calculated in ways that only Lexa fully understood, so she woldn’t argue with her. Instead, she said, “May I accompany as representative of _Skaikru_?”

Kane jerked his gaze to her. “Clarke—”

“It is far more important for you to stand as witness in Polis at the accounting,” Lexa said. “And I need you here, in camp. Your presence helps those of the _kongeda_ who may still have doubts about _Skaikru_ ’s intentions.”

Clarke nodded, seeing the wisdom in her request but chafing at it nonetheless.

“Are there further matters for discussion at this time?”

“No,” Clarke said as she stood. Kane shook his head and stood, too.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said from the tent’s entrance, urgent.

“Speak.”

“Nia is breaking camp.”

“Alert Ferris and Atlan. We ride now.”

“ _Sha_.” She retreated and Lexa addressed Clarke.

“Nia may be attempting to avoid a summons for an accounting. I must leave.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She followed Kane to the entrance but stopped before she went outside. “Who is your second here?”

“Wash. Tam will alert him.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” Kane went outside and held the tent flap for Clarke.

Lexa moved past her and pulled the flap closed before she left, gaze full of everything as yet unspoken between them, and that was all the invitation Clarke needed as she cupped Lexa's cheek with one hand. Her lips barely brushed Lexa's but the sensation was enough to make every part of her flare with heat and need. Lexa’s hands went unerringly to Clarke’s face, and she pulled her in for a much deeper kiss, one that made her ache in ways she didn’t think possible, in ways that only Lexa caused and only Lexa could soothe.

Finally, after a few delicious seconds, Lexa pulled away and brushed her thumbs across her cheeks, the expression in her eyes echoing what Clarke felt.

“I know,” Clarke said. “You have to leave.”

She stared at her, intent. “Yes. But that is not at all what I want to do.”

Clarke nodded. “I know that, too. And it’s not what I want you to do, either.”

Lexa leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead, her lips lingering before she pulled away and Clarke ducked outside before she did anything else that might compromise them both. Kane was waiting and they started walking together toward the _Skaikru_ tents.

“Everything okay?” he asked with a gesture toward Lexa’s tent.

“Yeah.” More than okay. Her lips still seemed to burn and tingle.

“So is Nia breaking camp indicative of possibly challenging Lexa sooner rather than later?”

“Maybe. But I think that’s too big a risk, too. If she’s going to do that, she’ll do it in Polis where she can make a case before the council.” Which might actually be what Nia was trying to do, was race to Polis and issue a challenge to Lexa before the council.

“Speaking of councils,” Kane said, “we will need to address some of these issues with the Chancellor.”

“I agree.” She stopped. “Will you support me as the best choice as _Skaikru_ rep?”

“Yes. Without a doubt. You’re a visionary, Clarke. Like Lexa. And the two of you are often on the same page, even when you’re clashing. She sees that, and it’s why she’s willing to continue to work with us. Because of you. Lexa is a strong leader in her own right, but she understands the value of alliances with the right people. And you are definitely one of those.”

“Good. I need you to say those things to the Chancellor and the council.”

He grinned. “I have been. It’s called laying some groundwork.” He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “I’m guessing you’re now going to check in with Wash.”

“Yeah. In a bit.” She wanted to check in with Bellamy first, and she walked toward the common _Skaikru_ tent. Abby and a _Trikru_ warrior she didn’t recognize stood outside talking. He didn’t look that old, but he had a full beard and a plethora of scars on his arms and hands.

“Clarke,” Abby said. “This is Jef, one of Lexa’s healers.”

“ _Wanheda_ ,” he said and he dipped his head. “ _Ai strisis don wan op raun Maun-de_. _Yu don kep tona klin_. _Mochof_.” 2

“ _Yu koma ai op_ , _fisa_. _Ai ron du mochof op_ , _gon du ste sisfou hir_.” 3

He smiled, pleased at her response. “I have shown _Abi kom Skaikru_ the salves I use for bruises and cuts. Balta has many others, and will better demonstrate how to make them, should Abby decide to come to Polis.”

“It sounds like it would be a good idea,” Abby said. “The salve he used on Jasper’s leg has painkilling properties, too.”

“That’s probably the same stuff Balta used on my leg. _Mochof nodotaim, fisa_.” 4

“ _Sha_. I will return,” he said. “There are others I must check.”

“Thank you,” Abby said and he nodded at her and walked away. “I had a look at a couple of Lexa’s warriors and closed and dressed a couple of their wounds,” she added to Clarke.

“I’m glad. Thanks for doing that.”

“Whatever’s in that salve, it’s making a big different with Jasper. It was almost instantaneous, the pain relief. I put some on Monty’s hand, too.”

“Good. I’m sure between Jef and Balta, you’ll be able to make batches of it.” She moved past Abby, because she knew that when Abby made small talk with her like this, it was because she wanted to discuss deeper things. And she was not in a place where she felt prepared to do that just yet.

“Clarke,” Abby said in the tone she used when she wanted to confront her about something.

She winced and turned. “Mom, I’m sorry, but I have a couple of things I need to take care of. But we will for sure talk later, okay?” That seemed to deflate her a little and Clarke was struck, again, at how she had seemed to age in the months since they’d come to the ground. Before she could respond, Clarke ducked into her tent and grabbed her jacket, long dry.

“Hey,” Harper said from the pile of furs she had claimed as her bed. “You okay?” She had one of the furs up to her neck.

“Yeah. Where’s Bellamy?”

“I think he and Sam are in Abby’s tent.”

“Okay. How are you doing?” Clarke’s gaze moved to a rather large lump under the furs next to her.

“Still tired. And then I see you, probably planning shit with everybody, and I don’t know how you do it.”

She smiled. “I ignore the exhaustion. Later. You too, Monty.”

Harper flushed bright red and a groan sounded from underneath the furs. Clarke grinned as she stepped out of the tent, glad that Abby was no longer in her vicinity. The afternoon shadows were lengthening and soon would melt into evening, and she hoped that Lexa left soon to make Nia’s camp before that happened. Again, her lips seemed to burn at the memory of the earlier kiss, and she tried not to think of the dangers Lexa might face tonight. Instead, she focused on getting Bellamy up to speed on a few things and then checking in with Wash. Those things she could do, and it would help keep her busy.

Bellamy’s voice emanated from the open flap of Abby’s tent and she went inside.

  
1 _Jef kom Trikru_ : Jef of/from _Trikru_  
2 _Ai strisis don wan op raun Maun-de_. _Yu don kep tona klin_. _Mochof_ : My little sister died in the mountain. You saved others [from doing so]. Thank you.  
3 _Yu koma ai op_ , _fisa_. _Ai ron du mochof op_ , _gon du ste sisfou hir_ : You honor me, healer. I give you thanks for your help here.  
4 _Mochof nodotaim, fisa_ : Thanks again, healer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! Well, shit came up this past weekend, so I'm only posting this one chapter, but the next chapter...I'm working my ass off on it because it's got--well, you'll see. And I really want it to be done as best as I possibly can.
> 
> Anyway, I'm lovin' having Clexa back together after all that cray at the mountain. And I'm exploring how these two are going to express their feelz, since we didn't get to see how it might have played out in S3 on TV. You get a little bit here -- omg who knew Lexa could be such a flirt? Heh. But she is always Heda, so we'll have to see how she decides to balance the feelz with her superpower self.
> 
> So thanks, everybody, for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate them, and I try to respond to comments ASAP, but sometimes I can't. But don't worry, I'll get to them!
> 
> A couple of the songs that accompanied me during the writing of this chapter: Satellite Mode, "Surface"; Dirty South, feat. Rudy, "Find a Way"


	49. An Old Foe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and her posse race to find Nia before she has a chance to regroup.

Lexa surveyed what was left of Nia’s camp as they approached what had been the main entrance just a couple of days ago. Ferris flanked her on the right and Atlan on the left, while the other warriors had arranged themselves in a protective half-circle around them, leaving Lexa at the center. She nudged her horse forward and a shout went up from the _Azgeda_ who remained, that echoed across the remaining tents. All work stopped and a warrior approached on foot, his hand automatically on the hilt of his sword though he didn’t draw it.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said with a dip of his head.

“ _Gona_. _Weron yu plana kamp raun_?” 1

He licked his lips and glanced at her warriors, as if weighing how much to say. “ _Em don tel oso op_ , _em gyon au Azgeda_.” 2 Other warriors started to approach. None drew their weapons and most looked ill at ease. Ferris frowned, but leaned to his left and issued a quiet order to stand down.

“ _Yo wich em in_?” 3 she asked.

The silence that greeted her provided the answer she suspected.

“I see,” she said. “What are your instructions, then?” she said to the man who had first addressed her.

“We are to finish here and return to _Azgeda_.” The others behind him glanced at each other, their expressions saying far more than words. “We are those who do not wish to bring trouble to the _kongeda_.”

“If you do not bring trouble, then I have no quarrel with you or your fellows.”

He visibly relaxed. “You will find what you seek directly east of here.”

“How fast should I ride?” she asked, keeping her gaze on him but aware of any movements from those with him.

The man cracked a smile. “If you ride fast, you will find what you seek long before nightfall.”

The angle of the shadows was already foretelling evening. “Very well. And you may perhaps find a situation more to your liking west of here, near the dam.”

Several of the other _Azgeda_ glanced at each other then at her, and their expressions broadcast guarded relief and the man who had tipped her to Nia’s direction said, “I would also be very careful, were I to ride in search of what I seek. One never knows what precautions that which is sought may take.”

“I will leave you to your tasks,” she said with a nod and she turned her horse, her warriors following her lead. She knew a few lingered, to make sure the _Azgeda_ remained true to their spokesman’s statement, just as her archers around the camp that had accompanied her were also watching.

Lexa waited a few minutes before she spoke to Tam. “Go with another, fast, to locate Nia. I do not want her to have an escape once we make our presence known. Watch for traps.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She called another over and the two of them urged their horses into a fast pace through the trees.

“They did not seem amenable to Nia’s continued leadership,” Ferris said, and Atlan snorted.

“Roan’s warriors may already have swayed them,” she said. “He did say that he had some in the camp, and that the others were probably easily swayed against her.”

“Or they could be misleading us,” another warrior said.

“A thought I had, as well.” Lexa glanced at him. “Take another and backtrack to the camp. Watch for _Azgeda_ scouts.”

He seemed pleased that she took his concerns seriously and he tapped the closest rider on the shoulder and wheeled his horse around. As he rode away, Lexa heard a birdcall and she knew it came from him, as he signaled the _Trikru_ archers that had accompanied them.

“I want two archers to remain with us, the other two to follow Tam,” she said to another warrior, who nodded and rode ahead. She heard a series of calls soon after that would have been indistinguishable from birds to anyone who was not born to the forests.

“ _Heda_ ,” Atlan said. “The _Azgeda_ provided a warning. Nia may have positioned warriors for an attack against any who follow her.”

Lexa nodded. “I’m expecting it.” She encouraged her horse into a faster pace, allowing it to pick its way and adjust its speed as necessary through the trees. This part of the forest wasn’t choked with underbrush, but it required a watchful eye when riding at speed to ensure a horse didn’t go down. They rode without speaking, until Atlan spotted Tam first and slowed them to a walk then a stop as Tam rode up.

“We have spotted her, _Heda_. Perhaps a half-mile ahead and a quarter-mile south. She travels with twenty warriors, but there are only ten horses so they go only as fast as those on foot. Nedd continues to trail them.”

“Then we will ride past them,” Ferris said, “and wait.” He looked at Lexa for confirmation.

“How many archers are with us now?” she asked Tam, who birdcalled. Four responded, in various types of calls.

“Alert them to Ferris’s plan. We will go a quarter-mile past Nia and wait. I want archers in position.”

“ _Sha_.” Tam birdcalled again and rode into the forest to Lexa’s left as Lexa nudged her horse forward, back into a fast clip. Tam and her horse returned and Lexa let her take the lead, glad that the forest here was relatively clear of underbrush so that the only sounds the horses made were the thud of their hooves on the earth and the huffs of their breathing.

The raucous cry of a crow sounded and all in Lexa’s party reined to a halt, hard. Lexa dismounted immediately, along with everyone else seconds before someone yelped nearby in pain.

Her warriors dispersed immediately, weapons drawn. A lone _Azgeda_ staggered out of the nearby trees toward them, an arrow in his side. Lexa drew one of her swords as he fell to his knees facing her, where he remained, face twisted in pain. Tam birdcalled and a _Trikru_ archer dropped from a nearby tree.

“There are two others,” she said. “Both wounded. We didn’t kill them.” She gestured as two other _Trikru_ archers appeared, each behind an _Azgeda_ man. An arrow jutted from the thigh of one and the chest of the other, near his collarbone. The archers pushed them to their knees next to the first then melted back into the forest at Lexa’s nod.

She regarded them in silence for a few moments, sizing them up. They didn’t have the look of warriors, but they were _Azgeda_ regardless. “What were your instructions from your _plana_?” she asked, giving each of them a measured gaze, though none met it.

No one spoke at first and Lexa sheathed her sword and drew one of her knives.

“To attack anyone who followed her,” the man with the arrow in his side said in a rush.

“Anyone?”

“ _Sha_.” He grimaced in pain and finally looked at her and it seemed to dawn on him who she was because his eyes widened in shock. The other two remained silent.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said, voice tinged with fear and awe. “I did not realize it was you. None of us did. Nia said only that it was possible _natrona_ would follow her and that they wanted her dead.”

“Why did she think such would want her dead?”

He had no answer, nor did the other two.

“So your _plana_ gave you instructions to attack anyone who followed her,” she said, as if pondering. “What if we had been fellow _Azgeda_?”

“She said nothing about that, only that anyone who followed was an enemy.”

Which could have meant Nia’s own warriors. Lexa wondered if perhaps she suspected that some _Azgeda_ were no longer loyal to her.

“ _Heda_ , what would you have us do?” Ferris joined her where she stood, studying the three men. “It is an act of war, that _Azgeda_ attacked us.” His implication was clear.

“No,” the _Azgeda_ with the arrow near his collarbone said and at her expression he dropped his gaze. “ _Beja_ , _Heda_ ,” he pleaded. “We believed we were protecting the _plana_ from _natrona_ or bandits. We were not told anything else. Only to wait in this area in case she was followed, and if so, we were to attack.”

“Then your training has failed you,” Atlan said. “Because you did not seek to ensure that you were protecting Nia from those she indicated wished her harm. You have instead attacked _Heda_ and two members of the clan council. I find it difficult to believe that you could not determine the type of party this is.”

He didn’t respond, fear in his eyes.

“It is an act of war,” Lexa said. “And I, too, find it hard to believe that you mistook my party for _natrona_.”

“ _Heda_ , we are not warriors,” the man with the arrow in his thigh said.

Ferris frowned. “Explain.”

He licked his lips and glanced at the other two, who looked as frightened as he did. “We are merchants, conscripted into Nia’s forces before she went to the mountain. We didn’t have a choice.”

“There is always a choice,” Lexa said. “Some just have worse consequences than others. What did your _plana_ tell you she would do if you did not join her at the mountain?”

“Kill our families,” the man with the arrow in his side said, and she heard the pain and anger in his voice.

“A familiar tale, where Nia is concerned,” she said to Atlan. She looked at Tam. “Check their scars.”

Tam did as instructed, moving the hair out of the face of each to inspect the sides of their faces. “They do not bear the scars of _Azgeda_ warriors,” she announced when she had finished with the last man. “They may be telling the truth.”

“ _Sha_ ,” the man with the arrow in his thigh said. “ _Osir chich ridiyo op_.” 4

Or this was another of Nia’s traps. Lexa hefted her knife when the man with the arrow in his side shouted a warning but Lexa had already heard the attacker behind her before he launched himself, and she whirled and easily side-stepped the knife slash he directed at her. He stumbled and fell, but remained where he was because ten _kongeda_ warriors surrounded him, weapons drawn. Ferris disarmed him and hauled him to his feet. Another _Azgeda_ , but young.

“Are you a merchant, as well?” Lexa asked mildly.

He glared at her. “ _Ai badan ai plana op_.” 5

“And serving Nia requires that you assassinate me?”

He didn’t respond so she addressed the man who had warned her. “Do you know who this is?”

“ _Sha_. Maldus, a Nia loyalist. His father serves in her personal guard.” His tone carried thinly veiled contempt. “He is a favorite pet of hers.”

Maldus’s expression shot daggers at the other man.

“And what is he doing here, away from her protection?”

“I do not know.”

Maldus’s lips twisted in a sneer and Lexa stepped closer and moved his hair aside with the tip of her knife to inspect his scars. She found only the one that indicated a rite of passage into adulthood, and he had barely sprouted his first beard.

“Ah,” she said as she pulled her knife back. “An assassin-in-training, then.” She studied him, as he struggled in Ferris’s grip. It would probably have been just as useful to attempt to break chains. It would be so easy, she thought, to slit his throat and carry his head to Nia, as retribution for the past. Too easy.

“Release him,” she directed Ferris.

“ _Heda_?” He stared at her.

“He wishes to engage in combat with me. Let him.” She sheathed her knife.

Comprehension dawned in Ferris’s eyes and he let go. Maldus shook him off and drew himself up, arrogant.

“A bit of advice,” she said. “If you wish to be effective as an assassin, you must first be a warrior. No true warrior would have done what you did.”

He glared and, as she had predicted, he attacked her, slashing awkwardly with his knife. Again, she side-stepped but this time she kicked him hard in the ass and he staggered forward and went down on his knees.

Lexa’s warriors all moved forward to confine him but she waved them back and Maldus scrambled to his feet and approached her more cautiously this time, awkwardly feinting and dodging. Lexa merely watched and stayed beyond his reach with little effort, which seemed to anger him until he attacked again and this time, she landed several hard punches to his chest and abdomen. He bent over, gasping for breath and she moved in and twisted his knife arm behind his back. Another twist and he dropped the blade, hissing in pain.

She forced him again to his knees. “You dishonor yourself with your decision, and you dishonor your queen by engaging in an act of war against me and the _kongeda_.” She pulled him to his feet and Ferris restrained him again. Then she gripped his jaw with one hand and drew one of her knives with the other.

“What you have done here is worthy of death,” she said to him. “Your actions were witnessed by all, and by three of your clan. Your queen would not be able to help you under these circumstances.”

He stopped struggling and stared at her, but the defiance in his eyes had been replaced by uncertainty but then he howled in pain as she carved the clan symbol of _Trikru_ into his cheek. He tried to jerk away but he couldn’t move in Ferris’s grip, which was positioned in such a way to help Lexa keep his head steady.

She wiped her blade on his shirt when she finished. Blood ran down his cheek and neck and he sagged in Ferris’s arms. Nia hadn’t given Costia such a chance, had shown no mercy, and again Lexa wavered, wanting to plunge the knife into Maldus’s neck. But she didn’t, because Costia would not have wanted her to. Neither would Clarke. She could almost hear Clarke’s voice in her head, asking her what his death would ultimately accomplish where Nia was concerned. And, Lexa thought as she watched the blood running down his face and how he sagged in Ferris’s grip, if she did kill him, she would be no better than Nia. She sheathed her knife and moved toward the three wounded men.

“I see no point in punishing merchants for trying to protect their families by following the orders of a leader who forces them to make such a choice. Go,” she said to them. “There are still _Azgeda_ at the camp near _Maun-de_. And beyond that, you may find aid near the dam.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” each murmured as they got to their feet, and started walking in the direction toward Nia’s encampment. Atlan joined her and watched them make their way painfully through the trees.

“And the boy?” she said.

“We bring him with us,” she said. “Tie his hands.”

One of the other warriors did, positioning Maldus’s hands in front. He then stuffed a cloth into his mouth and mounted his horse. Ferris hefted Maldus up to him. The warrior adjusted him so that his legs hung off one side and his hands the other. It would not be a comfortable ride for him, Lexa thought with grim satisfaction as she swung onto her own horse.

Tam led them gradually south, until Lexa saw Nedd astride his horse, standing near a copse of trees that were much smaller than others nearby. Lexa reined her horse in next to him.

“ _Heda_ , they approach along this track. They have not deviated from it except to go around fallen trees.” He pointed at what might have been a road or cart path, now mostly overgrown and out of use. “They follow that.” He saw Maldus slung across the warrior’s horse. “Where did you find him?”

“He found us,” she said. “Unfortunately for him. Are there scouts with Nia?”

Nedd glanced at Maldus again, but he then focused on her. “Two, but they don’t range very far. There is one behind and one in front, but the one in front does not seem to enjoy his task and he stays within shouting distance of the main group.”

“How long before they get here?”

“At their current pace, soon.”

Tam birdcalled and received four answering calls from varying distances. Lexa knew her archers were placing themselves in the trees and that there would be at least four to cover different angles of Nia’s party. Her warriors automatically spread themselves out a bit, leaving Ferris and Atlan closest to her, along with two others behind her. The warrior with Maldus remained toward the rear. No one spoke. Early evening sunlight slanted between the trees, leaving some things in shadow. Lexa wore her full regalia, because where Nia was concerned, appearances were imperative.

She inhaled, the smells of the forest both familiar and calming, and in the breeze, she heard the sound of a group approaching. Horses’ hooves and the creak of leather. Voices, too, carried, and the tones and cadences as well as volume told her that the group wasn’t trying to hide its passage.

A lone _Azgeda_ warrior appeared, perhaps fifty yards distant. The forward scout Nedd had mentioned, and he was indeed lax. He didn’t notice the silent group that stood like sentinels among the trees until he was within spear-throwing distance and then his reaction was almost comical.

He jerked to a stop and his eyes widened. He appeared to hesitate, undecided, and then turned as if he was about to run back in the direction he had come but an arrow appeared in the forest floor a few feet away, between him and the approaching group. He glanced up, trying to determine where it had come from but his efforts were for naught and he instead turned back toward Lexa and she nudged her horse toward him. Everyone with her did the same, so they were a line of silent warriors, approaching him.

Lexa stopped a few yards from him and made a motion toward the arrow. Tam rode over and without dismounting swung herself partially off her horse and plucked it from the ground before she rejoined Lexa. The _Azgeda_ scout seemed to understand that moving invited more trouble than it was worth, so he remained where he had stopped, glancing over his shoulder one moment then back at Lexa in the next.

And then Nia’s group appeared, and slowly made their way right toward them until the warriors in front shouted in surprise and the party came to a halt a few dozen yards away. Lexa found Nia immediately. She rode in the middle of the group, wearing a cloak of grey fur over her light-colored clothing, as if she wished to evoke the ice for which her clan was named. When Nia saw her, she reined her horse to a halt, which made everybody else with her stop, too.

“What means this, _Heda_?” she demanded across the distance. “Surely you do not seek to attack a party of _Azgeda_ that seeks only to return to its territory.”

Lexa nudged her horse forward again, flanked by her warriors, and moved closer until she was within knife-throwing distance of Nia. “I informed you, _plana_ , through one of your own that I would personally seek an accounting for the acts of war in which you engaged in recent days against _Trikru_ , _Floukru_ , and _Skaikru_.” She recognized the _Azgeda_ from whom she had taken the finger a couple of days ago and sent back to Nia’s camp in the group. He was watching her in wide-eyed recognition. Ontari sat on a horse to Nia’s left. She gave Lexa a hard stare.

Nia smiled disdainfully, and Lexa knew she was trying to goad her. It was with a force of will alone that she didn’t draw a knife and end her right there.

“Supposed acts of war,” Nia said, and her tone was oily. Lexa remembered it only too well, because she had used it when she taunted her with Costia’s death, and it had taken every ounce of will she had then not to show the effect those words had, as they fell like ax-blows on her heart. She had known then that her efforts to mask her emotions were not as successful as she had hoped, because Nia continued to push her about Costia in that tone.

Lexa knew, then, that Nia derived pleasure from not only Costia’s suffering, but from hers after the fact. In the years since Costia’s death, Lexa had come to understand that Nia would always derive pleasure through the pain she inflicted on others. It made her dangerous, because there was nothing she wouldn’t do to achieve her aims, but it also weakened her because true loyalty did not derive from inflicting gratuitous pain.

“ _Plana_ ,” Ferris said, moving his horse forward a few steps. “I bear witness to this call to account, as does _Atlan kom Floukru_. In accordance with the customs of the clans, you are called to stand before the council in Polis, to answer these accusations—never brought lightly—of acts of war against the clans named and, by extension, the _kongeda_.”

His words fell heavily, witnessed by both parties. The _Azgeda_ traveling with her glanced at each other. If Nia avoided the accounting, she would lose standing among her people and any allies she hoped to retain among the _kongeda_. That she might have left, Lexa thought, as she watched the varying expressions on the faces of the _Azgeda_ warriors. Mostly uncertainty. None of them looked at her, with the exception of Ontari and the man whose finger she had removed.

“Do you have a response now, _plana_?” Lexa asked, her tone devoid of any indication of what she was feeling. She would not let Nia determine the course of this interaction, would not allow her to think she had in any way affected her. She was no longer an untested leader, newly Ascended, amidst the turmoil of divided clans.

“You shall have one upon my return to _Azgeda_ ,” Nia snapped.

That would be another day or two, depending on how fast she forced the warriors walking with her to travel. “Very well. You have seven days to respond, and five full days to remove all of your forces from any territory that is not _Azgeda_ ’s or part of the shared territories of the clans. If you do not,” she said, with extra emphasis, “I will consider it an act of war.”

“And do what?” Nia practically snarled.

Lexa forced herself not to react as she would like to and instead nudged her horse forward and guided it directly toward Nia, _Azgeda_ parting for her and those who accompanied her. She brought her horse so close to Nia’s that she could have reached out and touched it. Nia stared at her, a flash of uncertainty in her cold, reptilian eyes that Lexa would be so bold as to get this close to her without drawing a weapon.

“I will ensure,” she said in a tone as hard and flat as a blade, “that the price you pay for the dishonor you have visited upon your people through your dealings with the _Maunon_ and _natrona kom Skaikru_ is a heavy one for _Azgeda_ to bear.” She kept her gaze on Nia’s and raised her a voice. “All here have heard the call to account. All here have heard my order to remove _Azgeda_ forces from any territory that is not _Azgeda_ ’s or shared. _Plana_ Nia has said she will respond to the call to account upon her return to _Azgeda_. If she does not remove _Azgeda_ in accordance with my directive or respond to the call to account, the clans may take action against her and they may force an accounting.” She paused for effect. “By any means necessary.”

She raised her hand and the warrior who bore Maldus across his horse rode toward her, _Azgeda_ on either side. Murmurs raced among those gathered at the sight of the young man. The warrior stopped his horse near Lexa’s and one of the mounted _Azgeda_ warriors dismounted and pushed his way through until he was able to gently lift Maldus’s head to get a better look at him.

“Maldus,” he said at the sight of the crusted blood on his face and shirt collar and Lexa presumed he was the boy’s father. He glared up at Lexa, but she ignored him.

“If you are going to send an assassin,” she said to Nia, “you might consider one who is an actual warrior.”

Maldus groaned softly in pain.

“What happened to my son?” his father asked.

“He attacked _Heda_ while she questioned a group of merchants that _plana_ Nia left for us to find,” Ferris said.

The warrior slid Maldus off his horse until he stood, unsteady, on the ground, and his father went immediately to his side. Nia’s expression had gone completely blank.

“An unprovoked attack on me or any other of the _kongeda_ is also an act of war,” Lexa said. “His actions were witnessed. All here are aware that death is a reasonable punishment for what he did.”

The muscles in Nia’s neck bunched and Lexa wished she would attack, wished she would provide the opportunity she craved to put an end to her poisonous reign and to free the ghosts of her own past. But she remained seated on her horse, a woman unmoving and cold, as if carved from ice.

“He has disgraced _Azgeda_ through his actions,” Lexa said, sweeping the group with her gaze. “I leave his punishment to those left among you who still value such things as honor.”

She turned her horse and rode out of the group of _Azgeda_ , her back to Nia, who would recognize the insult for what it was—Lexa thought so little of her that she didn’t bother to guard her flanks. Once past Nia’s group and a short distance away, she and her warriors waited and watched as Nia’s group passed them, silent this time, none looking at Lexa or her companions.

Nia was at her most dangerous when she had time to plan. What had happened here put her on the defensive, though clearly she had planned to avoid a call to accounting since she had abandoned her camp. She had not, however, counted on Lexa following through on a personal call to account, nor had she expected Lexa’s direct display of authority. It would feed Nia’s rage and hatred, but Lexa counted on that because Nia was at her most vulnerable when she allowed those emotions to guide her decisions.

“It was wise to spare the boy,” Atlan said as they watched Nia’s group draw farther away.

Lexa looked at her then glanced at Nedd. “Follow them.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He turned his horse and rode into the forest.

She watched him go, then addressed Atlan again. “Nia will have to choose his punishment, now.”

“And she will have to punish him.” Ferris’s voice rumbled nearby. “There were too many witnesses for her not to.”

“Unless they are all loyalists,” Lexa said. “And thus willing to overlook her corruption.” And Nia would resent Lexa even more because she had allowed Maldus to live, and called his actions to attention in front of _Azgeda_ witnesses. Nia hated to be seen as weak or at a disadvantage, and Lexa had managed to put her in both positions. It was not something the _plana_ of _Azgeda_ would forget.

She turned her horse and headed back in the direction of her own camp. She had forced Nia into a situation where she would have to either execute or banish someone she cared about, in her own way. Someone she had encouraged to engage in such actions, whether directly or indirectly. And Lexa derived a sardonic sense of satisfaction knowing it.

Both Costia and Clarke would have approved of what she had done, she knew, though even a year ago she probably would have killed Maldus without a second thought and delivered his head to Nia on the end of a spear, and allowed the grief she still carried for Costia to bring her down to the levels that Nia exploited. A year ago, she might have met Nia in the sewers of baseless cruelty and rage, might have allowed herself to be lost in dark places and darker actions, and executed a stupid, impetuous boy whose death might have worked against her, in the end.

But something had changed over the past few months, both for and within her, and it still scared her, because she knew how fleeting love and life could be on the ground, knew that pain and loss were as constant as daybreak and nightfall. But she couldn’t fight it if she tried—and oh, how she had tried. She couldn’t deny that parts of her she thought remained in her past had somehow left their slumber, had come fully awake for the last person she had expected, the last person anyone born to the ground could possibly imagine—a woman who fell from the sky, who had challenged her almost every day since her arrival, who had come to understand that she was both _Heda_ and Lexa, and accepted what each entailed.

She slowed her horse as evening melted into nightfall, bringing a damp chill, and she suspected that more rain surely awaited them before they arrived at camp. A fatigue that was more than physical rode with her since her confrontation with Nia and she knew most of it was ghosts, but some of it, too, was that she hadn’t been sure how she would respond to the woman who had taken so much from her.

The encounter had left her feeling empty in some ways, perhaps because she had suddenly seen Nia for who she was, a petty and mostly predictable tyrant who cheapened the very air around her. All this time, she had perhaps built Nia up into something she really wasn’t—dangerous and unable to be contained. But facing Nia today, she was no longer the new Ascendant, thrust untested into an arena where battles were fought with both swords and politics. Nia had an advantage then, but time, patience, and experience can be excellent teachers, and Lexa ensured she learned all she could from them.

She finally allowed her thoughts to fill with Clarke, and as the rain started, she left her head uncovered, as if the water would somehow cleanse her of the confrontation with Nia. And as thunder muttered in the distance and storm clouds roiled overhead, she wanted nothing more than to feel Clarke against her, to lose herself in the depths of her eyes, and set the connection between them ablaze. She coaxed a little more speed from her horse, hoping to beat the worst of the storm, aching to leave _Heda_ behind for a while, if only for a night, and let Lexa, the woman born of the earth, taste a part of the sky.

  
1 _Gona_. _Weron yu plana kamp raun?_ Warrior. [said in greeting here] Where is your queen?   
2 _Em don tel oso op_ , _em na gyon au Azgeda_ : She told us she is going to _Azgeda_.   
3 _Yo wich em in?_ [Do] you [plural] believe her?   
4 _Osir chich ridiyo op_ : We [excludes listener] are telling the truth   
5 _Ai badan ai plana op_ : I serve my queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! This week has been muy estupida and I've been slammed with shit, so I'm posting this chapter now and then another chapter most likely Monday (the 12th) because next week is even more stupid and full of crazy than the one we just had. I'm losing major writing time this weekend and next week, so I most likely will NOT post anything on Friday the 16th, but hopefully I'll get something posted Monday the 19th. If that changes, I'll Tweet it and probably update here, on this note.
> 
> Anyway! This was a tough chapter to write because Lexa and her gonakru managed to head Nia off at the pass, as it were, and then Lexa had to face her old nemesis, which brings up all kinds of complicated feelings on Lexa's part and I hope that came out, as well as how much Lexa's approach to Nia might have changed since Costia's death. Since we don't really know much about Lexa before Clarke, I'm having to fill in some blanks. Hope it worked.
> 
> ALSO, I wanted you to have this chapter today and then another chapter a couple days later, because that chapter has...well, I think it's a chapter some of you have been waiting for in terms of...well, you'll see! :D I haven't quite finished it, and it needs some polishing, but when it posts, I think it'll tide you over for a bit until I can post again. I hope so, anyway...
> 
> At any rate, THANK YOU for the comments and kudos (I answer as soon as I can). They all mean a lot to me, and I appreciate them and I love that I've got some company on this ride. Hope you stick around.
> 
> Some songs that also accompanied me, for the writing of this chapter: Kaleo, "Way Down We Go"; Mumford & Sons, "Believe"; Gin Wigmore, "Holding On to Hell"
> 
> UPDATE--It's Monday the 12th. I'm just about done with the next chapter, but I'm going to post it either Tuesday (the 13th) or Wednesday (the 14th) because it's special, friends, and I want to try to get it right. Thanx.
> 
> SHIT--UPDATE--It's Wed. the 14th. Dammit. I'm not quite done with this special chapter. So expect it Friday. Also, if you'd like to know what else I'm up to, check the site womenwords.org. We're doing a 12-day book giveaway, around 50 books a day. So that's keeping me busy, too. But it's lots of fun. :D


	50. Where the Heart is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets some things out in the open with Abby, bonds a little with the Skaikru posse, and then Lexa returns from her confrontation with Nia.

“ _Heda_ is strong and careful,” Wash said as he joined Clarke at the edge of the forest where she stood watching for any sign of Lexa’s return. “And her warriors will not allow anything to happen to her.”

She didn’t respond. Nightfall was nearly upon them and the sounds of the camp behind her included many voices, laughter, and the popping of wood in the firepits. She felt the threat of rain in the air and hoped Lexa was on her way back, but Nia could have ordered dozens of _Azgeda_ from her camp to wait for her. Or set traps. She could have done any number of things, and all of them writhed like snakes in her gut.

“She would not want you to fill your mind with worry,” he said softly.

He was right, but it didn’t make her stop. She turned to look at him.

“ _Yu glong ai op_. _Oso ai Hedas gonakru op_.” 1

She smiled at the suggestion that she join him on checking the camp over, and she nodded and followed as he started walking. A few warriors approached and asked him a few questions about watch positions and archers, and he responded readily. If Indra were here, she’d be Lexa’s second-in-command, Clarke knew, but Lexa trusted Wash, as well, and that wasn’t something the Commander gave freely. She trusted him too, and listening to him, she wondered when exactly it was that she had started to understand so much Trigedasleng.

“When was the last time Lexa had to face Nia like this?” she asked as they started walking again.

“After Nia killed Costia, _Heda_ called her to account but the clan council was divided then, and offered no restitution. _Heda_ had Ascended only recently, and understood that she did not have the support she needed to force Nia to atone.” He paused to answer another question from someone.

“And that was the last time she dealt with Nia in person?” she asked after Wash finished talking to the warrior.

“No. They faced each other perhaps a year after that because Nia attended a few meetings of the clan council. Most knew it was because she sought to make _Heda_ angry, that she might challenge her, which would provide Nia an opportunity to remove _Heda_ from power.” He stopped and looked down at her, expression grave in the fading twilight. “What Nia did not understand then—and she still does not—is that _Heda_ has always known what Nia plans, and has always been many steps ahead in the game Nia thinks she directs.”

He started walking again and she hurried to catch up.

“I have served two other _Hedas_ before _Leksa kom Trikru_ , and I have never known one so wise, who is able to grasp so many different aspects to people and situations. I saw these abilities when she was a Novitiate, and I hoped she would Ascend, because I was certain she could unite the clans, even with the tensions the previous _Heda_ had caused.”

A warrior who tended one of the firepits nodded at them both as they passed and Clarke nodded back.

“There were many worthy candidates in her Conclave,” Wash continued, “so I was not entirely certain she would emerge victorious or that the spirit of the Commander would choose her. Fortunately for many, she Ascended.” He cleared his throat. “Nia took Costia a few months later, when _Heda_ had only just begun attempting to unite the council and clans.” He was quiet for a few steps. “That was a difficult time for her.”

Clarke’s heart ached for her, for the young woman barely out of the Conclave, thrust into whatever the previous Commander had left, losing someone she cared deeply about in the manner she had. And then she had to deal with Costia’s killer as she tried to unite people who traditionally didn’t often get along, let alone work together.

“So.” Wash stopped and looked at her. “ _Heda_ has always been prepared for Nia, no matter what Nia does.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I think perhaps you know this, as well. So go. Until _Heda_ returns, _Skaikru_ needs you, too.” And he smiled and walked briskly away. She realized she was nearly to the _Skaikru_ tents, so she headed toward Jasper’s to check on him.

Abby was standing outside of her tent talking with Kane as she approached. “I just checked on him,” Abby said to her. “He’s nearly asleep.”

Clarke bit back a sigh because she now had no excuse not to talk with her, so she steeled herself and went over.

“Have you had anything to eat?” Abby gave her a concerned parent expression.

“Not recently. Do you have food in there?”

“Yes.” Kane held the tent flap open though he stayed outside. She went in, glad for the little bit of extra time before she had to deal with Abby, and placed strips of dried meat on a piece of bread. She was halfway through when Abby came in, so she finished chewing and took a long drink from one of the nearby waterskins.

“How’s Jasper?” she asked before she took another bite.

“Doing well. That salve is amazing. All locally sourced. I definitely want to make a trip to Polis to meet with this Balta you’ve mentioned.” Abby picked up a piece of bread.

“That would be great. She’s interested in how we do medicine, too. I think we can learn a lot from each other.” She looked over at Abby when she got no response.

“Clarke, listen—”

She started to retort then clamped her lips together and waited.

“I’m sorry for what happened between us before you left Arkadia to go to the mountain.”

Clarke stared at her, taken off guard.

“After what happened the last time there, I’ve had a certain impression of Lexa, but she and her people have done nothing but help us since you came back to Arkadia. Most of that is probably because of you.”

“Actually, no. Lexa did a lot of work to create the opening for us before I went to Polis. I had no idea she’d been doing it.”

“Oh?” Abby took another bite of bread.

“She’s made sure that I and _Skaikru_ are credited with stopping what the Mountain Men had been doing all those years to Grounders, and she made sure that the clan council had contact with me in Polis. She figured that it would help them get more comfortable with the idea of working with us, because for some reason, she thinks I have leadership qualities and that people will recognize them.” She half-smiled

Abby nodded. “You do. And people do respond to you that way.” She finished the bread and wiped her hands on her pants. “Kane contacted Arkadia after the missile exploded and said that I should probably come here, to Lexa’s camp. He was sure you were going to come out alive, and when Lexa and her people went in after you, he had no doubt at all.” She gave Clarke a wry smile. “He trusts Lexa, too. And maybe I haven’t been fair toward her.”

“Well, it’s not like you had much to go on. You haven’t spent time with her and she did leave us at the mountain the first time. I guess I don’t blame you. But I do wish you would just trust _me_ about her.”

“You know I still have a hard time thinking of you as an adult. And I’m sorry about that, too. I’m not sure how not to do that.”

“I need to work on dealing with you, too. Sorry that sometimes I don’t know how.”

Abby didn’t respond, and instead picked up the one lit candle on the table to light a few of the other ones in the tent. “I saw the mark of the coalition on Kane’s arm,” she said as she put the candle back on the table.

Clarke’s hand, holding a piece of dried meat, froze on its way to her mouth.

“He told me what you had done and at first, I was angry. I couldn’t understand why you would do something like that, and force us into a position to be part of something that no one at Arkadia even knew about and that most probably don’t understand.” She had an expression on her face that Clarke always associated with a lecture.

She put the meat back on the table, stomach now churning.

“But then I saw that it was the only way to ensure that Lexa had the support of the council at the mountain, and that she had it against Nia. It wasn’t just about protecting us, was it?”

“No,” she said, cautious, “and I told you that.”

She nodded. “I see that, now. It was also about strengthening her position with the coalition and Kane said it was not something she pressured you to do, to join the coalition rather than simply make an alliance. He said that in fact, she left the decision completely up to the two of you.” Her expression had softened.

“Yeah. She did.”

Abby crossed her arms and Clarke heard the soft patter of rain on the tent roof. “I still might not agree completely with the things you do, and I have to figure out a way to tell people that we’re part of this coalition, but I think you were right about joining it.”

Tension drained down Clarke’s legs and she almost collapsed with relief. “Did you just say I was right?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Yes. I did. I just hope that you’re willing to sometimes consider my perspective, too.”

“I’ll try to be better about that. If you quit pushing me.” She smiled.

She opened her mouth to respond, already frowning.

“Mom. I’m kidding.”

Abby relaxed. “Maybe I do push a little.”

She rolled her eyes. “And I push back. So maybe we can try to meet in the middle when we get to a difficult place.”

“I would like that.”

Clarke picked the piece of meat up that she had recently put down. “And maybe Kane and Sinclair should be the ones to tell people about the _kongeda_.”

“Probably. I’ve suggested to Kane that he put himself up for consideration for Chancellor. Or Sinclair should. I think we’re calling a vote once we’re back in Arkadia.”

Clarke frowned. “Mom—”

“It’s okay. I’m not a good match for this job, especially not on the ground, where things are so very different and require people with different skills and approaches. I’m much happier working in a medical capacity and on the council, if the new Chancellor decides to keep me on for a term. We’re discussing creating terms for people to serve on the council, and how that might look.”

She heard the relief in Abby’s voice and nodded. “As long as you’re okay with that.”

“I am. And I’m hoping that Kane becomes the next Chancellor, because he would know best how to navigate with Lexa, especially if you decide to serve as the Sky Crew rep on the clan council.”

She hesitated before answering. “So how would you feel about me doing that?”

Abby half-laughed. “It’s not really my decision to make, is it? I’m sure Lexa would greatly appreciate it if you did. I know Kane would.”

Clarke rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand, noting that Abby hadn’t voiced her feelings about it, which meant she probably didn’t support such a move. “I do want to serve in that capacity.”

“I figured. You know I’d prefer to have you at Arkadia, but I think that’s me as a mom talking and not as a Chancellor.”

“Hey,” Kane said as he came inside. “Rain’s picking up.” He took his jacket off and placed it on the floor near the entrance. “Oh.” He looked from Clarke to Abby. “I’m interrupting. I’ll go to Jasper’s tent.”

“No, it’s okay.” Clarke glanced at Abby. “We were just discussing me representing _Skaikru_ on the clan council.”

He ran his hand over his damp hair and made himself busy cutting a piece of bread off one of the small loaves. “And?”

“I think it’s a good idea for Clarke to be that rep.”

He affected a thoughtful air as he chewed.

“Oh, stop it,” Abby said with a laugh. “You know you support that.”

He smiled and winked at Clarke, who pretended to be absorbed in finishing the piece of meat she held.

“Mom said you might be the next Chancellor,” she said when she had swallowed.

“I don’t know. I do think it’s important to start installing a process through which we enact and develop leadership. It’s a conversation we’ll have when we get back to Arkadia. As it stands, the current Chancellor—” he motioned at Abby with the piece of bread, “can designate a representative to the clan council in Polis.” He gave Abby an expectant look.

“All right,” she said, sighing, but she was smiling, too. “Fine. Clarke, I think you’re the best one positioned to be the rep for Sky Crew on the clan council. I’d like you to consider taking the position.”

She smiled back. “Considered. And accepted.”

Kane hid his own smile behind his bread.

“I understand you’ll probably be returning to Polis with Lexa in the next couple of days,” Abby said as she cut herself another piece of bread.

“It’s the most logical thing to do. There will be reports about what _Azgeda_ forces have been doing, and I can either send that information back or come myself to address the Arkadia council.”

“Good idea,” he said, then looked at Abby. “I know Sinclair is supportive of you serving on our council, but we need to select an official rather than interim member of it and maybe add someone else and get them to understand that Clarke is the best one positioned to deal with Lexa and the _kongeda_.” He finished his bread. “And we’ll need to sell the idea of the _kongeda_.” He flashed Clarke a smile. “Don’t worry. I’m already working on that. Sinclair is supportive, which means there are already three people on the Arkadia council who are.”

“It probably won’t be too hard to convince them now, after all of the coalition’s help against Ice Nation,” Abby said, and she sounded hopeful.

“I can go back to Arkadia now, if you think it would help,” Clarke said, though it wasn’t what the wanted to do. Not even close.

“No.” Kane was emphatic. “It’s far more important that you get us repped sooner rather than later, to show that we are taking our role in the _kongeda_ seriously.”

Clarke looked at Abby, who shrugged. “That makes sense.”

“Good. Settled.” Kane grinned. “Has Lexa come back yet?”

“No,” Clarke said and she hoped that he didn’t hear the concern in her voice.

“Probably just delayed by the rain,” he said, giving her an enigmatic look. “Go get some rest.”

“Yeah.” She smiled at them both and ducked outside, to another cold rain. If she stayed close to the tent, she managed to avoid the worst of it, so she made her way to the larger tent next door that housed everyone else from _Skaikru_. At the entrance she hestitated and listened. Voices and laughter. Good. She wouldn’t be interrupting anything intimate. She smiled again and went in.

“Hey, look who decided to join us,” Raven said from the other side of the tent, where she was rummaging in her pack.

“ _Wanheda_.” Bellamy gave her a cheeky grin and handed her his battered metal cup. “Drink up.”

She sniffed. It smelled suspiciously like alcohol. “Where did you get this?”

“Lincoln scored some from one of Lexa’s scouts. She allows a little bit on her campaigns. I think I might like her a little more.”

Lincoln smiled. He was sitting on the ground, Octavia between his legs, leaned back against his chest.

Clarke took a little sip. It filled her mouth with warmth and sweetness. “This might be better than what you and Jasper make, Monty.” She handed the cup back to Bellamy.

“Yeah, I agree. Jasper and I have to step up our game. Or open trade with Polis.” Monty sipped from Bellamy’s cup, too.

Raven handed Clarke her own cup, another battered metal affair. “We’re celebrating.”

“What, specifically?” Clarke sipped again and picked up a honey taste. Whatever it was, it was really good.

“Everything,” Harper said. “You, the end of the assholes in the mountain, getting us out of there, and Lexa turning out to being cooler than we all thought.”

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Here’s to everything,” Bellamy said and he raised his cup. Clarke did, too, and took a bigger swallow. Her shoulders relaxed and she grinned.

“Well, here’s to all of you,” she said. “To Raven for inventing things that blow shit up, to Bellamy and Harper for managing to put those things where they needed to be, to Monty for getting into the system and helping make that process a little easier, to Sam for having everybody’s back, to Jasper, who’s sleeping but made it possible for Bellamy and Harper to blow shit up, to Lincoln and Wash for getting Raven to the mountain, to Octavia for having our backs in and out of that place, and to Gina, who put her butt on the line for us.” She finished her list and took another drink to laughter and cheers.

“And to Lexa,” Gina said. “For turning out to be awesome.”

“Yeah, you do kind of owe her big time.” Raven raised her cup and Gina made a face at her.

“So do you,” Harper threw at Raven, giving them both a meaningful look and Raven flushed to more cheers and laughter.

“Oh, and to Kane,” Monty said. “For doing all that mad radio shit.”

“Yes,” everybody said at once.

“Hell, to everybody.” Bellamy put his arm around Clarke’s shoulders and squeezed. “Have you eaten anything recently, Princess?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“This stuff is pretty strong.” He tapped his cup against hers. “Go easy.”

She poured the rest of hers into his. “Yeah, and I’ll bet it leaves a headache.”

“Aw, c’mon, Clarke. Get a little crazy.” Raven held her cup out to her.

She gave her a “seriously?” look and Monty laughed.

“Yeah, I think Clarke has a lock on doing crazy shit,” he said.

“Well, there is that.” Bellamy shrugged.

Clarke shoulder-bumped him. “And the crazy wears me out. I’ll go crash in Jasper’s tent. You keep celebrating.”

Bellamy gave her another squeeze. “Come back later if you change your mind. We’ll probably still be up.”

“I have no doubt.” She smiled just as a voice outside said her name.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru, yu ste hir?” 2_

“ _Sha_.” She moved the tent flap and looked outside. A warrior she vaguely recognized stood outside in the rain.

“ _Heda gaf in, yu komba raun_.” 3

Relief surged through her, but her heartbeat immediately sped up, too.

“What’s going on?” Bellamy asked.

“Lexa’s back,” Octavia said. “She wants to see Clarke.” She gave her a sly look that disappeared as quickly as it had come and Clarke wasn’t sure she had seen it at all.

“Probably about when we can all leave, if she managed to find Nia and call her to account.” Clarke tried to sound nonchalant, and she avoided Octavia’s gaze.

Bellamy shrugged again. “Yeah, well, both of you need to take a break.” He held his cup up meaningfully.

“Some day,” she said in a long-suffering tone that made Raven laugh before she stepped outside and hurried with the warrior across camp. It was raining just hard enough that she would be almost soaked by the time they got to Lexa’s tent, but she didn’t care. Lexa was back. She was safe. That’s all that mattered.

The warrior stopped at Lexa’s tent. The mountain of a bodyguard near the entrance had a partner with him tonight and when he saw her, he didn’t even announce it. He just held the tent flap open and gestured her inside.

Lexa stood near the table, addressing a group of warriors that included Wash. She looked up when Clarke came in and motioned her over. The few lit candles on the table flickered, and someone had placed a brazier near the back of the tent, out of the way of traffic but also pulled out from the tent wall. Lexa still wore her Commander regalia, including her swords, though her facepaint was gone. Clarke guessed she must have recently arrived.

She continued speaking in Trigedasleng, and from what Clarke could tell, it was about finding Nia. That was good news. She heard Indra’s name but didn’t catch the context and she wondered if she was on her way or would meet them in Polis. Then Lexa issued a series of instructions and the warriors stated their acceptance and filed outside.

Wash remained and looked at Lexa expectantly.

“Sit,” Lexa said to him and Clarke, and she did, grateful because she hadn’t actually sat down for a while. “Thank you, Clarke, for coming. I hope I did not wake you.”

“No, _Heda_.”

“Good. I’ve sent for warm drinks—” she frowned. “You’re soaked.”

Clarke smiled. “I might say the same about you.”

Wash chuckled.

“It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” Clarke said. “Don’t worry. It’s warm in here.” She took her jacket off and placed it on the ground near her chair.

An answering half-smile tugged at the corner of Lexa’s mouth and danced momentarily in her eyes. “Very well.” She sat and settled in that regally graceful way she had, all fluid motion and contained strength. “We found Nia. She has seven days to respond to the call to account. I also ordered all _Azgeda_ forces out of any territory that is not _Azgeda_ ’s or held in common among the clans. We already know that _Azgeda_ is withdrawing from the areas around Arkadia, but I thought perhaps Nia would need a bit more incentive.”

Her tone was grim and Clarke wondered what exactly had transpired.

“Nia is supposedly on her way back to _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa continued. “But so, too, are some of Roan’s forces. I thus think it best that I return to Polis tomorrow.”

Clarke nodded, a prickle of anxiety in her spine. If Roan didn’t have enough support, Nia might end up with leverage that would prove problematic in terms of her appearance before the council.

“I have begun sending scouts to call the clans to council. Wash will remain here as my second to ensure that _Skaikru_ returns to Arkadia safely. _Skaikru_ is welcome to stay for an extra day or two, should Jasper not be able to travel just yet.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, appreciative that she was willing to do that.

“And since you are _Skaikru_ representative—” she raised her eyebrows in a question.

“I am. The Chancellor has requested I continue in that role.”

“ _Os_. I am formally notifying you that your presence is required in Polis for the accounting of _plana_ Nia.” She smiled. “You’re welcome to stay here until _Skaikru_ leaves or you may accompany me tomorrow.”

“ _Mochof_. Fortunately, the Chancellor and Kane recognize that I should return to Polis with you.” Unfortunately, it would be on a separate horse this time, she thought.

Lexa shifted her gaze to the tent entrance as a warrior stepped in carrying a waterskin and three cups similar to what her friends had been using.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said.

She gestured for him to place the items on the table next to Wash. He did, and poured the liquid into the cups and then, as Clarke watched, he lifted the skin and squirted the liquid into his mouth and gulped. He returned the skin to the table and went to stand near the doorway.

Clarke sniffed her cup. It was the tea from Polis. She set it back on the table without drinking. “When should I be ready tomorrow?” she asked.

“Not first light,” Lexa teased. “Perhaps a few hours after that. Wash will make arrangements. You will have time to alert Abby and Kane. Atlan and Ferris will be with us, as well.” She picked up her cup and nodded at the warrior near the doorway. He bowed his head and stepped out.

Clarke took a sip and the heat of the tea slid down her throat. She felt instantly warmer.

“Once in Polis, as we discussed, you must make some decisions regarding the _natrona_ before Nia arrives and we will have to make arrangements for the finalization of _Skaikru_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_. It may require that you stay a while. I trust that is amenable to you.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” It was absolutely amenable, but she wasn’t going to say how much in front of Wash.

Lexa lifted the cup to her lips and Clarke wrenched her gaze away from her mouth. “Where is Indra?” she asked.

“She will be returning to Polis tomorrow, as well. I have sent a few of my warriors to watch the forests around Arkadia to ensure that _Azgeda_ completely withdraws. They will be under Wash’s direction.”

“And if they don’t?”

Lexa raised her shoulder in a shrug. “It’s an act of war. The _kongeda_ will be fully aware of that within two days. It is not, however, advantageous for Nia to disobey me in this instance.” She sipped again and even in the dim light of the candles, Clarke thought she saw fatigue and maybe the hint of a ghost in Lexa’s eyes, thought she sensed it even in the few smiles she’d offered tonight. Bellamy was right. They both needed a break, but it was clear they probably weren’t going to get one. Not for a while.

Wash finished his tea and looked at Lexa expectantly. “Shall I or Tam wake you tomorrow, _Heda_?”

Clarke looked at him, mildly surprised that he was basically telling Lexa to sleep in.

“ _Mochof_. But you probably won’t need to.”

“ _Sha_.” He stood. “I will ensure, however, that you are not disturbed until you request it.”

Lexa nodded and poured herself more tea from the skin. “It seems that everyone has taken to behaving like Balta, and is concerned about my welfare,” she said with a tight smile.

He laughed. “Please, _Heda_. Rest. There is nothing more to be done this night.”

“Mmm,” she said in her noncommittal way.

“I will see you tomorrow," he said to Clarke, "and I know Balta would tell you to rest, as well.” He flashed her a grin and slipped out.

Lexa sighed and squeezed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. It was an entirely unscripted gesture and Clarke knew she would never have shown it around any but those she trusted. She wanted to rub her shoulders and head, and make her comfortable and just take care of her. How long had it been since Lexa had let someone do that for her?

“Have you rested?” Lexa asked as she lowered her hand from her face. “ _Maun-de_ is never kind to those who enter it.”

“I’m fine.” Clarke could just reach her hand, so she moved a little closer in her chair and interlaced her fingers with Lexa’s. “I’ll get some more sleep soon enough.”

“The _kongeda_ owes you a debt of gratitude, for once again putting a stop to the mountain.” She brought Clarke’s hand to her lips.

“We were all threatened, and I am part of the _kongeda_. There is no debt.” Lexa’s lips on her skin made her think about their parting in Polis, and she wanted to finish what they had started then, but she also knew that Lexa had other things on her mind. “Besides, you and the _kongeda_ have been helping _Skaikru_ since Nia sent her scouts to Arkadia.” And even before that, because Lexa had set things in motion long before Clarke actually came to Polis.

Lexa said nothing, but she held Clarke’s hand against her cheek and closed her eyes and Clarke would willingly have carried whatever burdens she had, as long as she needed her to.

“Let me help you get settled,” Clarke said as she gently extricated her hand from Lexa’s and pushed back from the table.

Lexa looked at her. “Has Balta perhaps come to my camp and convinced all of you to fret over me?” But she smiled and there was warmth in her tone.

“I don’t need Balta to tell me to do that.” Clarke moved closer. “I want to. So stand up.” And then it occurred to her that she had just issued an order to the Commander of the thirteen clans. But somehow, she knew that Lexa would allow it.

And indeed, she chuckled. “That is definitely not Balta speaking,” she said as she stood and let Clarke start unbuckling her weapons, and Clarke was all too aware at this leeway she granted, at the intimacy it entailed. She looked up into Lexa’s eyes and sensed that Lexa wanted to talk.

“What happened out there?” Clarke asked, giving her the opening to do so as she removed Lexa’s sword harness and set it, blades and all, on the far end of the table.

“Nia set a trap.”

She stopped what she was doing and looked at her. “Explain.”

Lexa sighed. “Will it cause you to needlessly fret over me, though I am well and have returned safely?”

“Probably. But my fretting over you is never needless. In fact, you generally actually _do_ need it.” She worked on unbuckling her shoulder guards.

Lexa smiled. “And once _Klark kom Skaikru_ has decided something, that is the way of things.”

“ _Heda_ is very wise.”

Lexa laughed and the sound ran like an electrical current down her thighs.

“Besides,” Clarke added, “you like it when I fret over you.”

“Perhaps _Wanheda_ is also wise,” she teased.

“So. Explain,” she said to distract herself. She got one guard off and placed it on the table.

“Very well. There were three from _Azgeda_ that Nia ordered to attack anyone who followed her. She told them that those who followed would be _natrona_ or bandits.”

“And?”

“My archers wounded them. And they were not warriors. They were merchants.”

“She ordered merchants to attack? Why would—” Clarke paused. “Does she not have enough military support?”

“That’s a question I pondered. But I also think she considered them expendable and used them as a delaying tactic, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to do much harm to trained warriors. Had she sent actual warriors, that would have been an act of war.” She stepped closer to the table so she could pick up her cup and Clarke waited as she sipped. “They told me that she had threatened to kill their families if they did not accompany her to _Maun-de_ as warriors.”

“Seems to be a theme with her.” Clarke took the cup from her and set it back on the table before she finished with the other shoulder guard and set it next to the first.

“Mmm.” From her demeanor, Clarke guessed she was debating whether to tell her something else.

“I’m listening,” she said.

“After the merchants were subdued,” she said with a frown, “a young, very brash loyalist attacked me.”

Clarke froze, her hands on the thick belt that bore the weight of two of Lexa’s knives. “Go on.”

“He is not a warrior. And I gave him a lesson in being properly prepared to assassinate Commanders.”

She could imagine how the attack went, since she had seen Lexa fight both experienced and inexperienced warriors. She relaxed.

“The merchants told me he is one of Nia’s pets. His father is a favorite in her court.” She paused. “He was just out of boyhood. Young and foolish. I, too, was once like that.” She exhaled. “But I wanted to kill him.”

Clarke waited, hearing the brittleness in her tone.

“I had the right to do it. Attempting to kill a Commander without a formal challenge is punishable with death.” She stared past her, the line of her jaw tight.

“But you didn’t.”

“No.” She sighed. “I returned him to Nia, and told all with her that he had attempted to assassinate me, but that I left punishment to them.”

That was a good political move, but Clarke didn’t say anything. She instead finished unbuckling her belt and added it to the growing pile of her armaments on the end of the table, sensing that Lexa wanted to say more.

“He is completely in her thrall. Probably because of his father’s role. And perhaps his father is a loyalist, as well. But it doesn’t matter, because this boy doesn’t have his own mind.”

“But you wanted him to die,” Clarke said.

“Yes.” She held Clarke’s gaze, her expression conflicted.

“You wanted this because Nia likes him, and you thought that if you killed him, Nia would feel something like what you did when she killed Costia.”

She dropped her gaze. “Yes,” she said softly. “And I kept thinking about Costia and what Nia did.”

Clarke waited.

Finally, she looked back at her. “I did want to kill him for that. But I thought of you.”

“And?”

“I realized that all Nia would have done had I killed this foolish boy would hate me more. There was no lesson in it for her. And the best lesson _he_ gets is if he’s banished, not if he dies. All this I thought about, and I knew you would say these things to me, as well.” She smiled, weary. “ _Jus drein nou jus daun_. _Nou otaim_.” 4

Her tone was soft and the fact that she had considered Clarke’s thoughts about a decision like that fed something deep within, something that Clarke hadn’t put a name to yet, but that took flight within her heart every time she thought about Lexa and every time she was near.

She ran her fingertips along Lexa’s jaw, acknowledging what she had said and offering support in that little gesture. “Are you comfortable with your decision?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad. But honestly, if I had been there, I might have killed him myself.”

Lexa arched an eyebrow.

“I might be a little protective of you,” she said with a shrug as she worked the fasteners on Lexa’s coat open, but she smiled. “So it might have been _you_ trying to talk _me_ out of it.”

“ _Wanheda_ would have defended my honor?” She was teasing again.

Clarke snorted. “It wasn’t your honor he was after.” She worked another fastener open and looked up at her. “It was your life. And there is no way—if I was in the same place—I would let some little asshole get near you.”

She started to respond but Clarke put her finger on her lips, anticipating another teasing remark. “Before you say anything else, you need to know that I care about you. All of you. Lexa, _Heda_ —all of you.” She stared into Lexa’s eyes, remembering the first time they’d met, remembering the hard glint of anger and suspicion in them then, but also the flashes of things much deeper, and Clarke suspected there was more to this Commander than she allowed to be seen. And now here they were, and there was nothing Clarke wouldn’t do to keep seeing in Lexa’s eyes what she saw now.

Lexa cupped her cheek, her palm warm on her face. “How far we have come,” she said, as if reading her thoughts, “that _Klark kom Skaikru_ would say such things to me.”

She covered Lexa’s hand with hers. “I say them because that’s how I feel.”

Lexa leaned in and kissed her, a quiet, tender acknowledgement that melded into a soft exploration of her mouth with her lips and tongue that ended much too quickly, leaving Clarke’s head filled with inappropriate thoughts for the circumstances. After all, Lexa was exhausted and emotionally drained. She had just faced the woman who had murdered someone dear to her, and here Clarke was, her hands back on the fasteners of her coat, wanting nothing more than to keep undressing her, past the trappings of _Heda_ and duty and responsibility, past the armor Lexa always wore, both visible and invisible, until she had her down to her scars and skin.

Thunder grumbled softly in the distance and Clarke got the last buckle of Lexa’s coat undone, and she shrugged out of it. Clarke arranged it carefully over one of the chairs, absently thinking that it was probably going to rain hard again and she should think about going back to the _Skaikru_ tent, though it was the absolute last thing she wanted to do.

When she looked up, Lexa had already gotten the ties of her leather vest open and Clarke took that off, too, which left her in a loose dark shirt and her trousers. As she watched, Lexa started to undo her few braids and Clarke’s mouth went dry.

“Let me,” she said, glad the effect Lexa was having on her wasn’t apparent in her voice. “I’m not done fretting over you.”

Lexa chuckled. “Then it shall be, because _Wanheda_ has spoken.”

“More wisdom from _Heda_.” She stood behind her and worked her fingers through Lexa’s damp hair, forcing herself not to run her fingertips along the lines of Lexa’s neck, past the collar of her shirt down her chest. She sensed in Lexa’s demeanor that she needed comfort right now, needed someone she trusted to carry some of the things that weighed on her, and Clarke would gladly do that, would gladly be the one to protect her when her armor—both inside and out—was off.

Once her hair was completely down she squeezed Lexa’s shoulders and then slid her arms around her waist and rested her head against her back. She smelled like nightfall, the cool notes of rain, and a deep expanse of forest. Clarke inhaled, catching hints of sweat, damp, and faint spice, too. All of it comforting, all of it Lexa. She pulled her closer, and Lexa covered her hands with her own, and relaxed in her arms and leaned back against her and Clarke was pretty sure she could stay like this all night, as long as Lexa needed her to.

She had come to treasure the rare moments like this between them, the charged, comfortable way they interacted, as if they’d known each other much longer than they had, their understanding of each other profound and mostly unspoken. Lexa gently stroked Clarke’s fingers, a gesture that was both soothing and arousing and Clarke thought about how Lexa had allowed her to hug her in the mountain, even in her role as _Heda_ , and she wondered when exactly it had happened, that Lexa had granted her that level of familiarity outside of her private quarters, and what it might mean.

After what might have been minutes or hours—it didn’t matter—Lexa gently pulled away and Clarke reluctantly released her, thinking that it might be time for her to go back to the _Skaikru_ tents. Lexa turned to face her and she brushed Clarke’s hair out of her face, her expression a maelstrom of emotions in the flickering light of the candles on the table, and all of them made Clarke’s heart hammer in her chest.

Thunder rumbled closer, a portent of harder rain but she didn’t care, didn’t care about anything but Lexa, who cupped her face with her hands and pulled her in for a long, slow kiss that said so much more than words ever could, and Clarke put her hands on Lexa’s hips, then moved them up her back, her muscles warm and solid beneath her palms even through her shirt. Clarke pulled her in, desperate to be as close as she could, desperate for the feel of Lexa’s body against hers, if only for a few more minutes.

And then Lexa stopped kissing her, but her breath was hot and fast against her mouth and her hands remained on her cheeks. “Clarke,” she said softly, her thumbs lightly stroking her cheeks, “will you stay with me tonight?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

Lexa brushed her lips with her own, a light but somehow searing touch. “I don’t wish to sleep,” she said, her gaze seeming to spark at the current between them. “Not yet.”

Heat rocketed down Clarke’s thighs as she stared into Lexa’s eyes, and saw her own desire mirrored in their depths. “Good.”

She guided Lexa’s hands to her hips then kissed her again, hard, like when she left Polis, and it scorched its way along her bones and set her heart to pounding even harder and she was only barely aware that Lexa had moved her hands down her thighs until she had lifted her in a smooth, fluid motion and Clarke automatically wrapped her thighs around Lexa’s hips and held on as she carried her to the table and placed her on it, still kissing her. And then her hands slid back up the front of Clarke’s thighs to her hips again and Clarke had never wanted anything as much as she wanted Lexa’s hands to continue their explorations all over the rest of her.

She wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist again and Lexa responded with a groan against her mouth, and it caused another surge of heat and moisture between her thighs. She couldn’t get enough of Lexa’s lips, couldn’t get enough of her hands on her back, was sure she would never get enough of her, ever. But then Lexa’s mouth was on her neck, and Clarke gasped and moved her head to give her better access and she buried her hand in Lexa’s hair and held on as Lexa worked her way up her neck, both kissing and gently nipping and Clarke lost herself in the sensations that Lexa’s touches inspired.

Somehow she managed to grasp Lexa’s shirt where it hung around her hips and she started to work it up and off. She felt Lexa smile against her lips as she helped, one arm at a time, until she was free of it. Clarke let the shirt drop to the ground and stared at this version of Lexa, the one that asked her to stay, and that let Clarke expose her like this.

There were no words that could adequately express what Clarke felt, caught in the depths of Lexa’s eyes and the connection now so exposed between them. She pulled Lexa close again with her legs and sank into another kiss even as she ran her hands along her bare shoulders and up her back, her fingertips sliding over hard cords of muscle and the uneven topography that denoted scars, each one a story Clarke wanted to know, each one a tie to some part of Lexa that had helped define who she had become, each one a reminder of the burdens she carried, and the cost the spirit of the Commander demanded from those it chose.

The cloth of her bindings remained a barrier, but Clarke wasn’t sure she cared, because what she could access of Lexa’s exposed skin was glorious beneath her hands. She gasped, then, because Lexa’s fingers were beneath her shirt on her back and the touch ignited fires across her skin that she knew would only burn hotter the more Lexa touched her. She nearly tore her own shirt off and before it had joined Lexa’s on the ground, she brought her in hard against her, buried her hands in her hair, and kissed her like her life depended on it, like Lexa was the only thing she had ever needed, like this was the only way she had to express how she felt.

When Clarke pulled away, it elicited a long groan from Lexa, but Clarke leaned in and gently kissed the vertical scars that ran in a row along her collarbone near her left shoulder. She trembled and Clarke held her even closer and kissed her way slowly up her neck, her hands following the lines of muscle across Lexa’s chest and abdomen, to the stays of her bindings. She worked them loose but they remained trapped between them so she leaned back a little and started to gently tug the cloth out of the way, then stopped, staring.

Lexa stopped, too, her hands hovering near Clarke’s bindings, uncertainty in her eyes as Clarke reached for the piece of folded cloth that Lexa’s bindings held in place near her heart. Clarke gently extracted it and looked up into Lexa’s eyes, seeking permission.

She nodded once and Clarke unfolded it and though she had suspected what it was, her breath caught regardless as she stared at the small painting she’d done of the two of them, forehead to forehead, hands on each other’s cheeks. How often she’d thought of Lexa like this, and the way her gaze softened in the private moments they stole from the duties that always seemed to find them.

“It has served my heart well,” Lexa said softly, “in many ways.”

Clarke folded it over and held it to her lips for a moment, an urge to cry welling in her chest. “Did you have it with you in the mountain?”

“Yes.”

Clarke stared into her eyes, and she could no longer see the ghosts of the mountain, or the weight of its legacy between them. Instead, there was something much deeper, and much stronger, and she realized that it had always been there between them, and in that moment, she knew it always would. “When I went to the mountain—” her voice caught and she paused and cleared her throat. “I wasn’t sure what would happen. I didn’t know if I’d find my friends alive. I didn’t know if we’d be able to stop Emerson.”

Lexa remained close, and the heat from her body against Clarke’s skin helped stave off the chill on her bare back. She waited for her to continue because she always seemed to know when Clarke needed to say more.

“I didn’t know if I’d make it out of there.”

A pained expression crossed Lexa’s face.

“But there was one thing that I had, one thing that kept me going even when it seemed there was nothing else I could do.” She pressed her lips against Lexa’s forehead. “That one thing was you,” she murmured. “And when I saw you in the mountain—” she stopped, battling tears. “It means much more to me than I’ve said.” Her throat tightened and she looked down at the folded cloth she still held. “Much more than I think I know how to say.”

Lexa tipped Clarke’s chin up with her finger and kissed her, a soft, tender meeting of lips. “There is nothing that could have stopped me from going into the mountain to find you,” she said. “No matter where you are, or where you go, I will find you. I will always find you, as long as my heart beats, as long as my blood flows.”

The truth of her words shined in her eyes, etched themselves across Clarke’s heart, and in Lexa’s gaze, she understood the power she’d been granted, understood the trust that Lexa gave her and she knew, with absolute certainty, that there was no part of her that Lexa hadn’t already reached.

She set the folded cloth behind her on the table, painting side protected, and undid the stays of her own bindings. When she finished, she pulled the cloth slowly off, her gaze on Lexa’s, and her skin prickled from the cool, damp night and this act of intimacy between them.

Lexa straightened and let Clarke finish removing her bindings, as well, and then there was nothing between them but air and Clarke couldn’t breathe because clothed, Lexa was beautiful, but unclothed, she was astonishing. The memorabilia of her wounds was written across her skin in both ink and scar tissue, evidence of her existence and of the way she had been called to live. There was beauty in Lexa’s survival that went much deeper than her physical presence and Clarke put her hands on her stomach and though her skin was warm, she felt her shiver then settle into her touch, like something wild might, wary at first, then willing.

Lexa’s fingers rode Clarke’s as they gently traveled the hard expanse of her abdomen, then they drew their own paths across Clarke’s shoulders and chest, leaving trails of heat behind them. She gazed at Clarke with a reverence that left her breathless, and she had never felt so wanted or needed as she did then, in the awe and heat of Lexa’s expression.

She traced a long scar that ran from just beneath Lexa’s left breast in a thick red line toward her hip. Others were not so apparent in the dim light from the few candles, but Clarke’s fingertips found them, and she imagined that they were all interconnected roads, providing a map of the Commander, if she let them guide her.

Clarke ran her fingers along the big scar again, let it direct her hand to Lexa’s breast, and she brushed her fingers across her nipple and Lexa hissed between her teeth and Clarke felt her abdominal muscles tighten under her other palm. Lexa exhaled, a soft, low moan. Desire and something deeper seemed to uncoil within her, just visible in the depths of her eyes. Clarke understood, because she felt it too, in the heat that arced between them and the throbbing at her core.

Lexa growled low in her throat and pulled her toward her with a jerk and Clarke instinctively tightened the grip of her thighs around Lexa’s waist and slid her arms around her neck as Lexa lifted her off the table, a smooth, effortless gesture, and she carried her to the other side of the tent, her hands supporting her thighs, their bare chests pressed together, and all Clarke could do was hold on, her heart hammering, every part of her burning with sensation and emotions she had yet to untangle. Lexa stopped walking but didn’t release her and Clarke kissed her hard, still wrapped around her, and Lexa matched her fervor, a bruising clash of lips and teeth and tongues that served only to increase the heat between Clarke’s thighs and feed the connection that bound them.

Thunder rolled directly overhead and wind swirled outside the walls of the tent, making the canvas snap in places. A breeze that had found its way past the ties of the tent flap blew the candles out on the table, but the glow of the nearby brazier remained as Lexa lowered Clarke to the furs.

Clarke pulled her down the rest of the way into another kiss and she couldn’t stop her hands from wandering all over Lexa’s back, couldn’t stop herself from exploring her neck and shoulders with her mouth, and when Lexa adjusted her position so that she was fully between Clarke’s thighs, Clarke pulled at Lexa’s trousers, impatient, and Lexa groaned against her mouth as they both struggled to remove their remaining damp clothing, getting tangled in both that and furs until finally they were skin to skin, heat to heat, Lexa beneath her, and Clarke was utterly unprepared for how it felt to be with her like this.

She bit her lip to keep from crying and maybe Lexa understood, because she took her time and every part of Clarke tingled and ached and Lexa’s mouth was on her neck, her thigh between Clarke’s, and her hands gently caressed her breasts, her movements tender but deliberate. Every sense Clarke had was infused with Lexa, was inundated with everything about her, and she was sure she would never get tired of the way she felt beneath her palms or the way her lips and skin tasted. She mapped the length of her with both lips and fingers until Lexa’s breath hissed between her clenched teeth and she moved against her in a way that needed no translation.

Clarke worked her hand between them, until she rested her palm on the inside of one of Lexa’s thighs, and Lexa went motionless, staring up into her eyes. And then she gently guided Clarke’s hand between her legs, her gaze never leaving Clarke’s face, and when Clarke felt how wet she was, her breath caught. She cupped her, and Lexa slowly moved against her hand, gaze drilling into hers, lips slightly parted, her hand caressing the side of Clarke’s face and again, her throat tightened with unshed tears.

Carefully and oh, so gently, she slid her fingers through Lexa’s slick heat to her entrance where she hesitated, her gaze on Lexa’s, and Lexa’s fingertips brushed Clarke’s wrist, encouraging. She slid a finger in and Lexa’s groan echoed hers and there was nothing she wanted to do more than make Lexa forget, for a little while, all the trappings and duties of Commander, all the things she carried within, nothing she wanted to do more than be the woman who would keep her safe in the midst of that kind of vulnerability.

Lexa pulled her closer. “Yes,” she whispered near Clarke’s ear and Clarke’s heart felt like it might burst with the turmoil of emotions that filled her chest as she slid another finger in and matched her thrusts to Lexa’s even as she brushed her thumb lightly over her clit. She shifted her position so she could watch Lexa’s face, and Lexa tightened her grip on Clarke’s shoulders and her breath came in short, sharp bursts as she tensed, her eyes filled with things Clarke hoped Lexa saw in hers.

She felt Lexa’s release building, sensed it as if it were her own, and when she crested, Lexa kissed her hard, her hands buried in Clarke’s hair, and she moaned softly against Clarke’s lips as her hips jerked. And then she stiffened and Clarke stopped moving and held her on that precipice, kept her there for a few moments, lost in her eyes, lost in the bond between them, then let her fall with a few quick thrusts and Lexa groaned and sighed as she closed her eyes and relaxed, completely vulnerable in that moment, and the most precious thing in Clarke’s life.

She held Lexa with her free arm, her lips against her neck, tasting sweat, listening as her breathing slowed. Finally, she withdrew her fingers but before she could settle more comfortably against her, Lexa sat up and pulled her onto her lap, and Clarke had no choice but to straddle her so they were face to face. It was a choice she would have made regardless. And then Lexa’s mouth was on her breasts, and she caressed her hips and back and Clarke could barely breathe as she buried one hand in Lexa’s hair and held on, an electrical current seemingly surging from her breasts to her core and back again.

Lexa was relentless in her ministrations, her touches gentle in places, firmer in others, her lips both demanding and soft, her hands capable of coaxing layers of sensation from every bit of Clarke’s skin. And when Lexa’s fingers dipped between her thighs and she looked up at her, Clarke nodded and stifled a groan, gripping Lexa’s shoulders as she entered. She was vaguely aware of Lexa’s other hand on her back, helping hold her in place on her lap as she gently pushed another finger in and Clarke met her thrusts, aching and trembling as Lexa set a wildfire deep within that spread through her bones.

Clarke rode the flames as long as she could, on the border between want and need, staring down into Lexa’s eyes, until the heat within roared through her and seemed to explode in a million stars that fell with her back to earth, back into herself, back to the safety of Lexa’s embrace.

Lexa held her as she settled, until Clarke shifted a little so she could extricate her other hand. She gently wiped Clarke's tears then wrapped her arms around her and Clarke rested her forehead against Lexa’s and closed her eyes, completely at peace, arms around her neck, listening to the rain pounding the tent’s roof and the sound of Lexa breathing. The chill in the air slid over her sweat-slicked skin and she shivered, but it dissipated quickly in Lexa’s embrace.

“Lexa,” she said softly.

“Hmm?”

“We are definitely not done.”

 Lexa pulled away slightly to look at her and her eyes seemed to spark in the gloom as she waited for her to continue.

“We’re just getting started,” Clarke said, stroking her cheek.

“Mmm,” she said against her lips and Clarke felt her smile. “Is this something _Klark kom Skaikru_ has decided?”

“Yes.” She moved off of Lexa’s lap and pulled her to the warmth of the furs.

“Then that is the way of things,” Lexa said as she lowered herself against her and made it impossible to talk further.

And as the rain continued its steady cadence on the tent’s roof and thunder rumbled in the distance, Clarke knew that this was home, that she had left the sky and found her place, wrapped in the arms of a woman born to the ground.

  
1 _Yu glong ai op_. _Oso ai Hedas gonakru op_ : Join me. We’ll check on Heda’s warriors [I used the verb for “to see” from Peterson; the context of the conversation should lend it the different meaning, as there isn’t a term (yet) for “inspect”.]  
2 _Klark kom Skaikru, yu ste hir?_ Clarke of/from _Skaikru_ , are you here?  
3 _Heda gaf in, yu komba raun_ : _Heda_ wants/requests that you come  
4 _Jus drein nou jus daun_. _Nou otaim_ : Blood must not have blood. Not always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! Finally, right? First, thank you all SO SO MUCH for joining me on this journey, and thanks to all who have commented and given kudos. It means a whole lot to me and I do try to respond to comments ASAP. I hope you stick with me, because there's a bit more to deal with, but this chapter is super special.
> 
> It is, I think, the longest chapter I've posted, coming in at around 10K words. I don't generally write chapters this long, but I think this one called for it and I wanted to tide you over for a bit, because I'll be traveling for the next week or so and I won't be posting for a couple of weeks (probably not until Friday the 30th). Remember, you can always find me on Twitter if you have questions: @andimarquette
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is the hardest one I've written, and I've been freaking out about it for over 2 weeks. Writing Clexa in intimate moments is really difficult because I want to get their interactions right, and I want to try to convey -- to the best of my abilities -- the bond and connection between them. Clexa is pretty damn special, not just to me, but lots of others, too, and I wanted to try to do them justice in this story, and particularly in this scene. I hope I have, at least a little.
> 
> So this chapter, my friends, is my homage to Clexa. I hope it captures even a tiny bit of what I was trying to evoke, and I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Some tunes that helped me write this installment: Moda Spira, "She Whispers"; Thomas Gold and Gillian Edwards, "Magic"; Jack Garratt, "Surprise Yourself" (Gryffin and Manilla Killa Remix)


	51. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has to get things in order to go back to Polis while Clarke goes to get Skaikru up to speed on what's happening with Nia before she goes back to Polis, too. Plus, a little drama.

Clarke came awake slowly, and it occurred to her that she hadn’t felt this languid and relaxed in months. Maybe ever. Lexa’s arm was around her waist and she was pressed against her back and Clarke sighed with contentment and snuggled closer, thinking about how she had ended up here. Her initial internal battles against how Lexa affected her had been a way, she realized, to deny that she could feel anything for someone like the brutal leader of the Grounder clans.

But brutality, she had come to understand, wasn’t limited to Grounders, and unlike some, Lexa didn’t wield it indiscriminately. Everything she did had a purpose, usually designed to protect her people, in accordance with her role as _Heda_. Clarke had tried to find fault with that, but couldn’t because she herself had wielded brutality in service to her people.

Clarke knew now she had tried to find fault to protect herself from the way Lexa spoke to her on levels she didn’t even know she had, to try to keep herself from succumbing to the pull between them. But now all she wanted was the pull, and the way Lexa looked at her, and how she felt pressed naked against her and the way she let Clarke past her defenses. All she wanted was everything Lexa offered and the chance to be the one she trusted most.

She felt Lexa’s lips on her shoulder and then the back of her neck. Delightful little chills raced up her spine and she traced Lexa’s fngers where they rested against her stomach. Lexa continued to kiss her, slowly and gently, and Clarke moved a little to give her better access to her neck and Lexa took it, nuzzling and lightly biting the skin just under Clarke’s ear and Clarke ached anew.

“Could you wake me up like this again some time?”

“At every opportunity,” Lexa said, and there was warmth in her voice that was both promise and caress.

Clarke rolled over so she could face her and Lexa watched her, the green of her eyes evident even in the dim interior of the tent. Outside, Clarke heard voices and the sounds of what might have been people taking tents down and she knew that soon she’d have to leave these furs and thus Lexa’s side. She didn’t want to deal with that just yet.

“Hi,” she said, a rush of heat accompanying thoughts of the night before.

Lexa smiled and it went right to Clarke’s heart and she stared into her eyes, overwhelmed at the flood of emotions that small gesture brought. Lexa brushed a few strands of her hair away from her face then kissed her gently on the forehead and Clarke moved closer, seeking more contact. She got it when Lexa pulled her against her and stroked her back.

“Thanks for letting me sleep past first light,” she said against Lexa’s shoulder and Lexa chuckled as her hand moved to Clarke’s hip and Clarke wanted her to keep moving her hand along her hip, then to her thigh, wanted many more nights like the previous one. She studied Clarke’s face and Clarke fell into her eyes for a few moments, her heart rate seeming to pick up speed. Oh, she would need much more time with Lexa.

“We must prepare to leave for Polis,” she said softly, and Clarke heard the reluctance in her voice. “Though it’s not at all what I want to do.” She squeezed Clarke’s hip.

“I know.” She did, and she kissed her and Lexa responded fervently before she pulled away.

“ _Wanheda_ tempts me,” she teased before brushing her lips over Clarke’s.

“I’d say the same about you. _Heda_ is Commander of much more than the clans.”

Lexa blushed and Clarke laughed and leaned in for one more kiss, which Lexa enthusiastically granted though she pulled away after a few moments, her expression completely at odds with what she had to do instead. Clarke understood and simply sighed as Lexa stood, but it was a delicious sight, watching her move naked to the strewn clothing nearby. She hadn’t been able to get a good look at the tattoos on Lexa’s back and now that she had this view, she wanted to spend much more time getting to know them. She sighed again and pushed the furs off, watching Lexa dress.

When she’d put most everything on except her coat and weapons, she straddled Clarke’s hips, her hands on either side of her head. She leaned down and kissed her, long, deep, and slow, then pulled away with a smirk. “The day awaits, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said as she stood again.

Clarke yawned and got up so she could dress. Lexa ducked out of the tent but returned a few moments later as she was finishing. She looked over at her and the expression in her eyes made Clarke’s blood heat. She needed many more nights with her, she decided. And even then, it wouldn’t be enough.

“Tam will accompany you to the _Skaikru_ tents,” she said. “She can tell Abby and Kane what is happening, and Wash will check with them later. When you have your things, she will bring you back here.” She cupped her face and kissed her and Clarke made another decision, and that was that she needed to kiss her a lot more.

“I would escort you myself, but I unfortunately must oversee a few things.”

Clarke smiled. “ _Mochof_.” It touched her that Lexa was sending someone with her, and that she would have come herself if she could have. It felt like a subtle validation of what was happening between them.

Lexa flashed her a smile of her own.

“ _Heda_ ,” said the guard’s voice from outside. “ _Tam en Wash ste hir_.”

Lexa looked at her apologetically but got one more kiss in much to Clarke’s delight before she pulled away. “We’re just getting started,” Lexa said. “Remember that.” She stared at her for a moment and Clarke nodded, heart pounding at Lexa’s acknowledgement of what had happened, and the expression in her eyes.

“ _Sha_ ,” Lexa said authoritatively toward the entrance and both Tam and Wash entered and Clarke caught a glimpse of bright morning light before the tent flap fell closed.

“ _Heda_ ,” both Wash and Tam said with a nod. Then, “ _Wanheda_.” Neither registered any surprise or discomfort at finding her in Lexa’s tent at this hour, though it was probably obvious that she hadn’t left the previous night. She hoped the flush she felt gathering at her collar wouldn’t show.

Lexa delivered instructions for breaking camp to them in rapid Trigedasleng—much of which Clarke understood—and both nodded.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Tam said. To Clarke, she said, “ _Ogud_?” 1

Clarke nodded. “ _Dena ai komba raun_ , _Heda_ ,”2 she said and the hint of a smile twitched at the corners of Lexa’s mouth.

“ _Sha_.”

Clarke followed Tam out of the tent into the sunlight. Everything was still damp from the rain the night before, but she knew that wouldn’t matter. Grounders simply kept doing what they were doing. “I need to—” she gestured toward the forest, and the area that had been set aside as a latrine. Tam nodded and handed her a small piece of soap from her belt pouch. Clarke hurried, since she didn’t care for the more public nature of an encampment latrine. And even though she was the only one there, she didn’t linger, though she did avail herself of a nearby waterskin to wash her hands and face, using Tam’s soap.

“Have you heard anything about _Azgeda_ near Arkadia?” she asked as she gave Tam her soap.

“They have withdrawn.” She started walking. “Indra has sent many scouts through the forests and has found only a very few. They all told her they were returning to _Azgeda_ , but she wonders if perhaps some are going in search of Roan. Whether because they support him or not is a matter for debate.”

“You were there yesterday, weren’t you? When Lex— _Heda_ called Nia to account.”

“ _Sha_.”

“She told me about it.”

Tam might have smiled but Clarke wasn’t sure.

“Do you think Nia will agree to an accounting?”

She was quiet for a few steps. “If she does not, she will lose face with the few supporters she still has. There are still some among the clans. Most of them are older, and have supported her for years. And they do not approve of _Heda_.”

“Why not?”

“Because _Heda Leksa_ is not like any _Heda_ before her, except Becca, perhaps.”

Clarke glanced at her. “Who was Becca?”

“The first _Heda_. There have been eight since. _Heda Leksa_ is the ninth.” Tam then greeted a warrior who stopped her. He gave Clarke a respectful nod as well before he asked Tam about the route Lexa wished to take back to Polis. When he had moved on, Tam regarded Clarke for a long moment.

“Our legends say that Becca came to the ground from the sky,” she said.

Clarke stared at her. “She was _Skaikru_?”

“Perhaps. But there were no others with her. She dropped alone.”

“How did she become _Heda_?”

“She was _Natblida_ , and carried the spirit of the Commander within her. Becca trained the first _Fleimkepa_ in the proper ritual to impart the spirit to successive _Hedas_. Only _Fleimkepas_ and _Hedas_ are allowed this knowledge.”

A woman who came from the sky who was a Nightblood? How was that possible? Clarke frowned. “But why would Becca have been allowed to be _Heda_ by the people on the ground?”

“She came to the ground very soon after the destruction,” Tam said. “There was need for a leader.”

Clarke pondered that for a bit. Clearly, people survived what happened. But how was it that a lone woman from space was able to establish an entire cultural tradition? “Why do you say _Heda Leksa_ is different than others?”

Tam started walking again. “She seeks to unite the clans. _Heda Bekah_ 3 also sought to do this—to keep those who lived united. The _Hedas_ after her did not have the same vision. Perhaps they could not, because of the _Maunon_.”

“But _Heda Leksa_ also dealt with the _Maunon_ ,” Clarke said. “And yet she was willing to work with me and _Skaikru_ against them.”

Tam nodded. “This is why she is different. She thinks far ahead. Titus has said that Becca was also like this. But there is no one alive who remembers Becca, and the _Hedas_ since have fallen into certain ways of doing things. But _Heda Leksa_ is different, and it frightens some of the older people among the clans, who are more comfortable with leaders like Nia.”

“The _Maunon_ are gone, now. Things have to be done differently.”

“ _Sha_. And _Heda_ understands this. It is difficult, however, to change the direction of an army once it is running toward a battle. It seems that we have always been running for the next battle, and now that the _Maunon_ are gone, _Heda_ works to keep us from turning on each other, which is something Nia tries to do. The more we war with each other, the greater the advantage to leaders like Nia.”

She stopped and gave Clarke a long, measured glance. “There are those who oppose _Heda_ , but there are also many of us who support her. I am one of those, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

She waited.

“I have also watched _Skaikru_ since you came to the ground.”

Clarke still said nothing, though she tensed.

“There are those among you who I suspect are difficult to work with, just as there are among my people. But you—you are different. I was among those who went with _Anya kom Trikru_ to the bridge, when _Heda_ first agreed to a meeting. It was not long after you came to the ground.”

Clarke’s chest tightened at the memories. “I’m sorry about what happened.”

She shrugged. “You did not know us. We did not know you. It is difficult to trust. But even after that, after _Heda_ sent many to kill you at the drop ship, you brought Anya out of the mountain and though she died, you brought her hair to _Heda_ , to show respect. Even after what happened at the bridge, and after the attack on your drop ship, you still tried to talk to _Heda_ , because you understood that our people were in the mountain, as well.” She cocked her head. “You see far ahead, like _Heda_. And you respect her. This is why you have my support, as well.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Tam kom Trikru_ ,” Clarke said.

Tam nodded and started walking. “You care about _Heda_ ,” she said a few moments later, and it wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” she said, seeing no point in hedging. Lexa clearly trusted Tam, so Clarke would, too.

“She cares about you, as well,” Tam said with a quick smile. “For this, too, you have my support.”

Before Clarke could respond, another warrior approached with a question for Tam. She gave Clarke a head bob of acknowledgement before she addressed Tam. Her questions were more about how many scouts Lexa wanted to send and where. When that warrior had moved away, Tam continued walking, but she didn’t bring up Lexa again. Besides, they were nearly to _Skaikru_ tents, now, and Clarke was glad Tam was with her, because she represented official business, which might deflect potential questions about why Clarke hadn’t spent the night in a _Skaikru_ tent.

Abby was standing outside Jasper’s tent with Kane. She glanced at Tam, then focused on Clarke. “Hi. So what’s happening? It seems Lexa is breaking camp.” She didn’t seem to realize that Clarke was only just now returning from Lexa’s after the night before.

“Yeah. We’ll be leaving for Polis soon. Tam has further instructions.”

Tam nodded. “Chancellor,” she said. “Kane. _Heda_ has instructed me to inform you that Wash is her second at this camp and will provide escort to Arkadia. Once _Heda_ ’s party leaves for Polis, he will speak with you. _Heda_ suggests you not stay here longer than another day or two, but Wash will discuss that further with you and will provide assistance to move the injured should it be necessary.”

“I don’t think it will. Jasper’s able to move around—”

“Hey,” Jasper said as he emerged from his tent. “That wonder salve from Jef really works.” Someone had given him another pair of trousers that were a little big for him, but that was probably good because the fabric wouldn’t rub too much on his wound.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke asked.

“Like I could probably sleep for another week and eat an entire mutant deer.”

“Good. That means you’re healing. And by the way, you still do not have my permission to die.”

Both Abby and Kane looked at her on one accord but Jasper smiled.

“Monty keeps telling me that. I’ll make sure to ask first.”

“Hopefully, it won’t come up.” She shrugged.

He laughed. “Life on the ground, Clarke. Never a dull moment.” He turned to Abby. “Okay if I walk a little?”

“Definitely. Just take it easy.”

He nodded and limped past Abby’s tent toward the one that housed the rest of _Skaikru_.

“How can we help Wash and _Heda_ now?” Kane asked Tam.

“Gather your things and be prepared to leave. I think Wash would be more comfortable if you left for Arkadia tomorrow morning. _Azgeda_ has largely abandoned the forests around it, but it is always best to be cautious.”

He nodded in agreement. “Has _Heda_ heard from Indra?”

“Yes,” Tam said. “She is in contact with Wash, and works with him to ensure that _kongeda_ warriors will be available until you reach Arkadia. _Heda_ has also arranged with Indra for a force to remain near Arkadia until after Nia’s accounting.”

“So _Heda_ found her?” Kane glanced at Clarke, and she nodded, but let Tam respond.

“Yes. Nia also has seven days to withdraw all her forces from territory that is not _Azgeda_ or held in common by the clans.”

“But it’s Nia,” Clarke said. “And you can never be sure.”

“This is why _Heda_ and Indra wish to leave some _kongeda_ forces near Arkadia. With the Chancellor’s permission, which I will pass to Wash and _Heda_.”

“Yes,” Abby said. “We would appreciate that. Thank you.”

Tam nodded once. “I will wait here,” she said to Clarke, “while you prepare to leave.”

“ _Mochof_. I need to speak with a few people. I’ll be quick.”

“ _Sha_.” Tam took a few steps away to give her some privacy.

“Is Bellamy around?” she asked.

“Yes,” Kane said. “I’ll get him.”

Kane turned away, leaving her alone with Abby. “Is it okay, leaving tomorrow?” Clarke asked.

“I think so. Jasper’s able to walk a bit, and we can figure something out if we have to. Kane can radio ahead for a vehicle to meet us once we’re closer.” She paused. “Everything all right with Lexa?”

“What do you mean?” She hoped her voice didn’t betray anything.

“How did it go with Nia? Did she tell you?”

“Oh. It went about as well as anything with Nia could go. But the important thing is that Lexa intercepted her before she could get to Polis or _Azgeda_.” She debated how much to tell Abby, and whether telling her anything would end up putting Arkadia at risk somehow. Then again, they were part of the _kongeda_.

“Nia set an ambush for Lexa,” Clarke said. “But Lexa knows how Nia operates, so obviously, it wasn’t successful. The point is, Lexa called Nia to account, and Nia has seven days to respond and to remove her forces. If she doesn’t do either of those things, it might be considered an act of war and the _kongeda_ has the right to respond in kind.”

Abby crossed her arms. “So more war, basically. And because we’re part of the coalition, we’ll have to help.”

She paused before responding, trying not to react as she usually did when Abby used that tone with her. “First, that’s the last thing Lexa wants, but this is Nia. Second, and on the plus side, there are other things in play that might help neutralize Nia.”

“So we’re on a need-to-know basis?” She raised her eyebrows and frowned.

“Yes. I don’t know all the details, either.” But she knew that if Lexa thought she should know them, she would reveal them.

“I suppose I’ll have to trust you and Lexa on this, too.” She let her breath out with a huff. “Okay.” She didn’t sound okay with it, though.

“Lexa won’t call us to war unless she thinks it’s absolutely necessary. She’s been dealing with Nia for a long time, as have the rest of the clans. We’ll probably be backup more than anything else, _if_ it comes to that.”

“Hey,” Bellamy said, thankfully interrupting the conversation with Abby. “What’s going on?” He looked relaxed, though tired. He wore a pair of trousers that had seen better days, and a dark tee.

Clarke smiled at him. “Lexa caught up with Nia and called her to account. Nia now has seven days to respond. Lexa also told her she has that long to get her forces out of territory that isn’t held by _Azgeda_ or that isn’t operated communally by the clans.”

He frowned in the way he did when presented with information he needed to process. “And if she doesn’t comply?”

“War,” Abby said and Clarke struggled not to bristle.

“That is a possibility,” she said. “But Nia can’t afford to lose face. Her support isn’t what it was, and if she doesn’t go to account, the _kongeda_ will probably take action.”

“Lexa will have to,” Bellamy said. “She can’t afford to let Nia get away with that.”

“Will we have to support a war against Nia?” Kane asked. He was in his diplomatic mode and Clarke appreciated it.

“Possibly,” Clarke said. “But Lexa has plenty of other _kongeda_ forces she can use, and chances are most of them would probably be okay without us involved. We’re still very new to the ground.”

“But it might be a good idea to offer a show of support in some way.” Kane was tugging at his beard, something he did when he was considering options. “Something to show good faith.”

“Like what?” Abby looked like she has swallowed something that tasted bad.

“Support with supply lines. The use of our designated territory if necessary. Perhaps a few people to volunteer for her armies.”

“Are you serious?” Abby glared at him.

“Just because we offer doesn’t mean Lexa or the coalition will accept,” Kane said. “That’s the nature of politics. A lot of it is for show.”

“What if she does accept?” Abby said.

“Then we have to be careful with what we offer.”

“And what if Nia goes to Polis for the accounting?” Bellamy interrupted before Abby could say something else. “What do we have to do?”

“I’m still the _Skaikru_ representative to the _kongeda_ ,” Clarke said. “Given that we don’t have the history with Nia that the rest of the clans do, I’m treating this as a witness-only situation.”

“Good plan,” Kane said. “We need to be present, but not necessarily involved. You’ll figure out the best approach,” he said to her. “And you have the advantage of a relationship with Lexa. She’ll have some advice.”

Clarke didn’t breathe for a moment. She didn’t hear anything in his tone beyond a casual statement, and she knew that he probably wasn’t assuming anything beyond professional interactions with Lexa, but her stomach clenched a little regardless.

“Well, I’m still going to trust Clarke when it comes to Lexa,” Bellamy uncrossed his arms and hooked his thumbs on his belt.

She exhaled softly in relief.

“For now.”

She raised her eyebrows and he gave her a grin. “Relax. Kidding. So what are we supposed to do now, while Nia’s out there running around?”

“Go back to Arkadia,” Clarke said. “Wash is Lexa’s second, and he’s going to provide escort, in coordination with Indra’s forces. Lexa also wants to leave a few _kongeda_ forces near Arkadia until we know more about what Nia decides to do. She requested the Chancellor’s permission to do that,” she said pointedly with a look at Abby.

“And she has it,” Abby said, equally pointedly.

Kane put his hand on Abby’s shoulder and she stiffened at first then relaxed. “Since I went to Polis and was able to interact more with Lexa,” he said, “and after all she’s done for us with regard to Nia and the mountain, I have no reason to think she’s going to intentionally put us at risk. If Nia decides to test Lexa further and Lexa responds with an attack, I think she’ll have a plan.” He gave Clarke a wry smile. “From what I’ve seen, she probably already does.”

“Okay, fine,” Bellamy said. “Lexa probably won’t screw us intentionally, but whatever happens with the Grounders is going to affect us in some way.”

“Seems to me since we got here, whatever happens with Grounders affects us regardless.” Kane was still using his diplomatic tone, but Bellamy frowned anyway because of the truth of the statement.

“So what do we do?”

Kane looked at him. “What we’ve been doing. Maintain open channels of communication with Lexa and Polis. Ensure that Clarke remains our rep with the clan council until we can get some others involved in cultural exchange, if you will, and make ourselves available within reason to the coalition.”

Clarke wanted to hug him.

Abby, on the other hand, did not look pleased and Clarke bit her tongue. Their relationship was a series of steps forward, a lot of steps back, and sometimes even sideways. She knew Abby supported her as best she could, in her own way, but sometimes Clarke wondered why she bothered. Maybe she should try to develop the kind of bond she had with Bellamy with her, and think of her as someone who would simply always challenge her in particular ways. Raven had been right, about Abby being a product of the Ark, trying to graft its familiarity onto the ground, but Clarke suspected that a lot of the issues between them were exasperated after her father’s death.

“Mom,” she said, and Abby relaxed a little, as she always did when Clarke called her that. “I asked you to trust me when it came to Lexa. Things are really different here than they were on the Ark, and we can’t assume that our ways are going to work. And isolation isn’t going to work, either. We need the clans to help us learn to navigate this world. The least we can do is offer support to Lexa when she might need it. I need you to stand with me on this. You, Kane, and Bellamy are a great leadership team, and I need all of you.”

Kane was trying not to smile while Bellamy gave Clarke an approving nod. Abby looked more surprised than anything, but she nodded. “Okay. When do you think we can expect news from Polis?”

“A few days. Nia still has almost seven days to respond, but Lexa may want to send a message earlier than that if anything develops.”

“I’ll have Raven start working on more radios,” Bellamy said. “Might be a good idea for Clarke to have one when she has to do clan business in Polis.”

“I like that idea.” Kane tugged on his beard again. “But for now, take the one Raven or Octavia was using. Probably Raven’s, since it might have better range. What do you think?” He looked at Abby.

“I would prefer that you had one,” she said.

“Done. I’ll get Raven’s.” Bellamy left.

“Once things calm down a bit, you should come to Polis,” Clarke said to Abby.

Kane nodded. “I agree. Talk to Lexa and find out how she feels about a cultural exchange. A couple of us spending time at Polis while a couple of her people spend some time at Arkadia. We can get more people learning the language.”

Clarke smiled. “I will.” She was pretty sure Lexa would support something like that and eventually she would probably want to spend some time at Arkadia. And then it occurred to her that she was thinking about Lexa in terms of a future that was about more than the next crisis, and she wondered when exactly that had happened, that she had started associating Lexa with her own future. It probably should have scared her, given the cirucmstances between them and the roles they had to fill, but it didn’t. Instead, it steadied her.

Bellamy returned with a radio. “Raven said the battery should be good for a few days as long as you don’t overdo it. You can let her know when she should send another one.” He handed it to her.

“And you’d probably better get your things together,” Kane said to her. He threw a glance toward Tam.

“Okay. I’ll radio after I get to Polis. I might not know much for another few days, though.”

“That’s fine. We’ll let you know what’s going on at Arkadia, as well.” Kane gave her a quick hug and when he released her, Abby hugged her, too.

“Be careful,” she said.

Clarke nodded. “I plan to.”

“Hold on,” Kane said. He went into the tent and returned quickly with something wrapped in cloth. “Meat and bread. You probably haven’t eaten anything yet.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“Take care. We’ll talk soon.”

She nodded and walked with Bellamy back to the other tent and almost bumped into Raven as she emerged. She had her hair pulled back, and her eyes seemed to spark.

“Hey. Did Bellamy give you the radio?”

“Yeah. I’ll be checking in when I can. How will I know if the battery’s going?”

“Much weaker signal than usual. If the battery is completely dead, well, you’ll get nothing at all when you turn it on. I recommend turning it off as soon as you’re done with it. If you do that, it’ll last a while.”

“Define ‘a while’.”

Raven grinned. “Let’s estimate about five hours, possibly a couple more if you’re careful.”

“All right.”

“Check in more than once,” Raven said. “There are a few of us who miss you when you’re not around. As insufferable as you can be.”

Bellamy laughed.

“I’ll remember that, Reyes,” Clarke said with a smile.

“Counting on it.” She hugged her. “Don’t do anything _too_ stupid,” she said as she released her.

“Same to you.”

Raven flashed her another grin and went over to Abby’s tent.

“You good?” Bellamy asked.

“Yeah. You?”

“I will say that this second trip into the mountain wasn’t as messed up as the first time I went in, though it still really sucked. So let’s not do that again.”

“I completely support you in that decision.”

He smiled down at her, then cleared his throat. “Okay, here’s where I tell you I’m going to miss you and stay out of trouble.” He paused.

“I’m waiting,” she said with a cheeky grin.

“Well, I will miss you and yeah, try to stay out of trouble. I know how you are. On the plus side, I actually feel better about you being in Polis this time because I think Lexa will look out for you.”

“Because I can’t do that myself?” She smacked him on the arm playfully.

He grinned. “We all know _Wanheda_ can take care of herself. But Lexa knows this world, and it can’t hurt to have an ally who does.”

“So you’re saying that you think Lexa is an ally?”

He shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

“What convinced you?”

“She had our backs in the mountain. I wasn’t sure she would show up this time, after what happened the last time, but she came through. And she sent protection for Arkadia. I’m still not totally sold on her, but I feel better about this whole Polis and coalition thing than I did.”

“Wow. I should probably write this down somewhere, for posterity.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Just take care of yourself.”

“I will. You too. That’s an order.”

He laughed. “Get your stuff ready.”

She hugged him. “Thanks for having my back, Bel.”

“Careful,” he said with a chuckle. “People will talk.”

She snorted.

“And thanks for having mine,” he said as he pulled away.

“Always. Tell everybody I’ll check in soon.” She smiled and entered the tent, relieved that no one was inside. It only took her a few moments to get her pack together and sheath her knives at her belt and she turned to go, heart speeding up at the thought of spending more time with Lexa, when Octavia entered.

“Hey,” Clarke said.

“So you’re off to Polis.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t come back last night.” Also not a question, and Clarke heard the accusation in the statement.

“And?”

Octavia frowned. “What are you doing?”

She bristled. “In what sense?”

“In the sense that screwing the Commander of the Grounder clans is probably not a good idea.”

Clarke clenched her teeth before she replied. “First, you’re making assumptions. Second, it’s none of your business if I am.”

“So is it an assumption?”

Clarke glared at her, debating what to say.

“That’s what I thought. And it _is_ my business,” she snapped back, “because everything that Lexa does and every decision she makes will affect everyone in the _kongeda_. Or is this how you managed to convince her to accept us?”

It was all Clarke could do not to punch her. She took a deep breath before speaking. “Kane and I made the decision to enter the _kongeda_. Yes, we talked to Lexa about it. And yes, Lexa explained that it gave us and her more leverage if we did. But the decision was _ours_ to make. Not Lexa’s. And to suggest what you just did—” she stopped, anger closing her throat and her grip on the straps of her pack was so tight it was painful.

Octavia stared at her, and her expression shifted from accusation to surprise. “You care about her.”

Clarke started to push past her but Octavia grabbed her arm.

Clarke shook it off. “I’m leaving,” she said.

“Not yet,” she said as she put herself between Clarke and the entrance. “What exactly is going on between you and Lexa?”

She stopped, her anger almost palpable but she didn’t want to have a scene with Octavia. “I’m not sure,” she said, enunciating each word.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I’m not sure,” Clarke retorted. “We haven’t defined it.”

Octavia looked at her, puzzled. “But something _is_ going on?”

“Will it make you feel better and all self-righteous if I say yes?”

Her expression hardened. “She’s the _Commander_.”

“Thanks for pointing that out,” she said, sarcastic.

“In case you haven’t noticed, life on the ground isn’t a game. A fling with the Commander is probably one of the worst ideas anybody could have.”

“Are you seriously saying that I don’t realize what life down here entails? And are you also seriously saying that I would have a _fling_ with the leader of the thirteen clans, like it was just something fun to do? To kill time? Or maybe I’m just fucking bored? Is that seriously what you’re saying to me?”

Octavia frowned and took a step back, but there was concern, now, in her expression. “So you do care about her,” she said again, as if the thought was only now occurring to her.

“Yes. I do.” More than she could ever articulate.

“Who else knows?”

“Besides Lexa and you?”

Octavia waited.

“No one, really,” she hedged. She loosened her hold on her pack to alleviate the pain in her fingers. “We’re trying to keep it that way. Because it’s not exactly something you run around telling people, for obvious reasons.”

“Does she care about you?”

The question caught Clarke off guard, because Octavia’s tone had softened. She nodded, and it was both scary and exciting to admit it to someone else, even though Octavia still seemed skeptical. “I’m not asking you to support it, or to believe it,” Clarke said. “But it’s happening.” She ran her free hand through her hair and exhaled. “And I want it to.”

“How long?”

Clarke hesitated. She and Octavia were traditionally at odds, though Clarke knew she was like Bellamy in that regard and needed more convincing than others might. “I don’t know. Probably since the beginning, in a weird way. I can’t explain it. It’s just…it just _is_.”

Octavia studied her for a few moments then shook her head. “Of all the people to fall for.”

Clarke started to retort but Octavia interrupted.

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep it quiet. Not like I haven’t done that in the past.” She gave her a look. “But what does this mean in terms of representing the clan council?”

“Nothing. There are certain things I have to do in that regard, and I’ll do them.” She kept her tone flat.

“What about personal shit with Lexa?”

“The personal stays personal.”

“Come on, Clarke.” Octavia crossed her arms. “That never happens.”

“It has to. We’re aware of our respective positions and what we have to do. And it’s not like I was looking for this to happen. Not like either of us was. So we’re taking precautions.”

Octavia studied her for a few moments then sighed. “Shit. You really do care about her.” There was a hint of understanding in her voice.

Clarke didn’t respond and instead just held Octavia’s gaze.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“So do I.” She adjusted her pack on her shoulder. “I have to go.” She left before Octavia could say anything else but as she was walking away toward Tam, Octavia called after her.

“Clarke.”

She stopped and turned to look at her, stomach clenching.

“Good luck,” she said, and Clarke knew she wasn’t just talking about the clan council.

“Thanks. You, too.” She held Octavia’s gaze for a moment, then hurried over to Tam. “ _Ogud_.”

Tam nodded and started walking back through the encampment. She didn’t speak and Clarke was glad because she was trying to sort through her thoughts about the fact that Octavia now knew about her relationship with Lexa. Though of anyone, Octavia would probably understand better than most, given her relationship with Lincoln. Then again, Lincoln wasn’t the Commander. She chewed her lip. How was she going to negotiate the waters of _kongeda_ politics and a relationship with Lexa? And what exactly _was_ their relationship?

They approached a group of warriors and horses where several tents had once stood and her gaze went immediately to Lexa where she stood in full Commander gear and facepaint, issuing instructions, both regal and authoritative. Clarke’s mouth went dry. Lexa finished and the group dispersed but she turned immediately to Clarke, as if she had known she was there.

“ _Yu ste ogud_?” 4 Lexa said to her, and beneath the veneer of the Commander, Clarke saw a flash of intimacy in her eyes, of warm familiarity, and in that moment, she knew that there was no question that she wanted to continue to feed the connection between them, no matter the obstacles.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa nodded and addressed Tam. “ _Hon Klarks gapa in_. _Wash get em in_.” 5

“ _Sha_.” She jogged away and Clarke looked at Lexa.

“ _My_ horse?”

“Wash has chosen a horse for you to ride to Polis.” She lowered her voice. “Since I can’t share mine with you this time, unfortunately.” She raised an eyebrow with the tease and Clarke started to say something when a warrior approached.

“ _Heda_.” He noticed Clarke and murmured “ _Wanheda_ ” as well and Clarke stepped away and though she understood Lexa’s position and responsibilities, she still wanted more time with her. The night they had just shared clearly spoiled her, because she suspected such would be rare, given the roles they both had to fill. She surreptitiously watched Lexa speaking to the warrior, and her gaze lingered on the planes of her face and tracked along her braids then down her back, past the swords—

“Clarke.”

She jerked her head to Tam, who held the reins of two horses, one black, the other the color of mahogany.

“We ride soon,” Tam said. She waited for Clarke to adjust her pack across her back before she handed her the reins of the black horse. “I will accompany you.”

Good. Clarke liked her, and she suspected that Lexa wanted Tam close because she was aware of at least some of the nuances of their relationship. The horse snorted and seemed to be sizing her up and Clarke determined that it was female.

“ _Oso gyon na gon Polis au_ ,”6 Clarke said as she stroked the horse’s nose. She caught Tam grinning at her. “ _Ai laik Ganaheda_ ,” she said. “ _Nami_?” 7

Tam stared at her for a second then laughed. “ _Heda get dison in hashta yu_ , _yu uf kom gana_?” 8

“ _Ai uf kom gana ste stelt_ ,”9 Clarke said and Tam grinned.

“ _Yu uf ste klir kom ai_.” 10 She nodded in approval. “Soon you will indeed sound like the rest of us.”

“I hope so.”

Lexa interrupted their banter as she ordered the party to mount. Clarke did, and watched as Lexa finished talking to Wash then swung into her saddle, her movements somehow relaxed and coiled, and all she could think at the moment was how she had undressed her the night before and run her hands all over her skin. She tore her glance away before it became too obvious that she was staring at the Commander.

Wash caught her eye and waved. She waved back and her horse stamped impatiently beneath her. She checked to see where Tam was, then surveilled the rest of the group. There were easily thirty warriors returning to Polis with them and most likely they would ride at a pace that would get them there before nightfall. Those who carried the tents and supplies would travel slower, with an escort, Clarke guessed, and they’d probably get to Polis after nightfall or the next day, depending on the route.

Ferris and Atlan moved their horses near Lexa’s and held a quick conversation and then Lexa swept those gathered with her gaze and gave the order to ride. Clarke nudged her horse forward, among several other warriors, Tam nearby. She took her cues from Tam and the others around her, and set her horse’s pace in accordance with theirs.

Lexa rode in front, but Tam had positioned herself and Clarke a few yards behind her, in such a way that Clarke had a decent view of her. She wondered if Tam had done that on her own or if Lexa had asked her to. She wouldn’t put it past either of them, she decided, and she smiled, feeling a sense of belonging, among these warriors of a culture to which she had no birthright. Lexa glanced over her shoulder and caught her gaze for a moment, and in her expression, Clarke understood that birth and blood weren’t always an indication of the strongest ties. She urged her horse a little faster to match Tam’s pace, and settled herself more comfortably for the ride to Polis.

  
1 _Ogud_ : ready [you’ve seen this one!]  
2 _Dena ai komba raun, Heda_ : I’ll come back soon, _Heda_ [“dena” appears to mean “soon” in Peterson’s lexicon, but context can also help determine when that might be. There doesn’t seem to be a more specific “soon.”]  
3 _Heda Beckah_ : _Heda_ Becca  
4 _Yu ste ogud_ : Are you ready?  
5 _Hon Klarks gapa in_. _Wash get em in_ : Get Clarke’s horse. Wash knows which one. [literally, “Wash knows it.”]  
6 _Oso gyon na gon Polis au:_ We will be going to Polis  
7 _Ai laik Ganaheda_ … _Nami?_ : I’m Horse Commander. Know what I mean?/Feel me? [Clarke is making a joke, again combining two Trigedasleng terms, “gana” (horse) and “heda”, leader/Commander.]  
8 _Heda get dison in hashta yu_ , _yu uf kom gana_? Does _Heda_ know this about you, this power you have with horses? [Tam is playing along with Clarke’s joke.]  
9 _Ai uf kom gana ste stelt_ : My power with horses is hidden.  
10 _Yu uf ste klir kom ai_ : Your power is safe with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! So I've been crazy busy with various things, including being on the road and doing RL shit. But I did finish this chapter. Yay! Depending on how much I get done this weekend, I may have even MOAR for the next week. :D
> 
> So this chapter is the morning after for Clexa, and it's sometimes kind of shy and awkward after your first time with someone you really, really have feels for, but it's also kind of sweet and I was hoping to capture some of that here, before Lexa has to go do Heda things to prepare for Polis and Clarke has to go do Wanheda things with Skaikru. And of course Clarke is all, #moarpleez in her head, and Lexa seems all #fersure with her, so #feelz. Even though Octavia is wise to what's up.
> 
> Now, however, we have to deal with natrona and Nia. We shall see how that all plays out.
> 
> Thanks so much for all the kudos and comments. I really, really appreciate it and I hope you're having a good time on this ride. ALSO! I finally activated my Tumblr. It's cryptically called "andimarquette," and I'll be posting updates regarding "Grounded" there as well as going all fangirl over various things. http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com
> 
> A couple of tunes that accompanied me while writing this chapter: Gemini, "Do It for Love"; Mosa Wild, "Smoke"
> 
> And may The Force be with us all.


	52. Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke arrive at Polis, where Lexa catches up with Titus, deals with a few other things, and then has dinner with Clarke (courtesy of Balta...she's sneaky that way).

Lexa generally preferred to enter Polis without fanfare, but she had sent scouts ahead and she knew that sometimes people needed to gather to express something publicly, and that’s what greeted them along the hard-packed road to the main gate. Crowds lined both sides of the road, and as soon as their party came into view, cheers went up, along with chants of _Heda_.

And then came chants of _Wanheda_ when people realized Clarke was in the group and Lexa smiled. She looked over at Clarke, who was dealing with the attention much better than she had in the past. She smiled and nodded at people as they passed. Lexa watched her surreptitiously for a bit, welcoming the rush of heat Clarke’s proximity always brought, so much stronger, if such was possible, after the previous night. And memories of that had been replaying in her mind for hours. She wanted many more. So many more.

It wasn’t unheard of for a Commander to engage in sexual liaisons, as long as such were approached with discretion—something Lexa’s immediate predecessor had lacked. Rarer still was the Commander who took a long-term intimate partner, because of the risk inherent in such an arrangement, and Lexa had learned that lesson with Costia.

She worried as she watched Clarke, because she would face any number of dangers given her position with _Skaikru_ , and an association with the Commander would greatly increase some of them. If Clarke decided, after all, that the risk was too great, Lexa would accept it, along with the pain such a choice would bring. But if Clarke wished to stay—if this truly was the beginning—there was nothing Lexa would not do to ensure her safety. Nothing.

Clarke turned her head and caught her gaze and even from the distance of a few yards, the blue of her eyes took Lexa’s breath away. Clarke flashed her a smile and she wondered how such a small gesture could leave her so utterly disarmed, so completely at her mercy. One of her warriors repositioned his horse and cut off Lexa’s view of her, but they were near the main gates, now, where the crowd had swelled and cheers of _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ seemed to echo across the forests.

Lexa always made it a point to chat a bit directly with people, so as their group made their way to the tower, she leaned down and clasped hands with a few people and exchanged a few encouraging words. One little girl seated on the shoulders of a _Trikru_ man reached for her hand as she passed and managed to brush it. Lexa stopped her horse, bringing the entire entourage to a halt, and let the little girl grip her hand.

“ _Heda_ ,” the little girl said, her eyes wide.

Lexa smiled and leaned over enough so that the little girl could hug her neck, much to the crowd’s delight.

The little girl released her neck but grabbed her hand again. “ _Maun-de ste odon_?” 1

The crowd went silent, watching the exchange.

“ _Sha_ , _strikon_. _Maun-de_ _ste odon_. _Wanheda en Skaikru_ _don teik em daun_.” 2 Lexa turned her head and located Clarke, a couple yards away, watching the exchange. “ _Klark_ ,” she said and Clarke nodded and carefully guided her horse toward her, the warriors shifting their own mounts and the crowd moving a bit as well to accommodate. “ _Em laik Wanheda_ ,” Lexa said to the little girl, who still held her hand. “ _Klark, em laik Frana kom Trikru_ _en em nontu, Morgun kom Trikru_.” 3

“ _Heya_ ,” Clarke said to both and the little girl let go of Lexa’s hand and Lexa moved her horse so Clarke could get closer to Frana, who grabbed her hand. Like Lexa had done, Clarke leaned down a little and Frana hugged her neck and whispers and murmurs traveled through the crowd.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Frana said as she let go of Clarke and Morgun looked up at her.

“ _Maun-de don hon em_ _nomon op_ ,” he said. “ _Ai don tel em op bilaik nou moun na ste hon_ _daun_. _Mochof, yu en Heda_.” 4

“ _Yu koma osir op_. _Osir na badan oso kru op_ , _ogeda_ ,”5 Clarke said and those standing nearest looked at her, wide-eyed. Lexa heard the words circulating outward among those gathered, like ripples on a pond.

“ _Heda_ ,” someone started chanting, while others answered with “ _Wanheda_ ,” until the chants cresendoed into cheers. Lexa looked at Clarke, who smiled at her. The cheering decreased, but chants of _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ continued on the outer edges of the crowd.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, loud enough for those closest to hear and the crowd quieted even more. “ _Ai ge koma op na badan op yu en kongeda_.” 6

Again, the words rippled through the crowd and again cheers broke out. Lexa gave Clarke a solemn nod while she fought a smile at her deft insertion of the statement into a public arena such as this, ensuring that it was understood that _Skaikru_ did not seek to displace Lexa’s leadership, but instead wished to serve her and the _kongeda_ , that all the clans could benefit. Clever. And no doubt something that many would discuss in Polis for the next few days. Atlan caught her eye and gave her a barely perceptible nod and a smile, also pleased by Clarke’s words.

The crowd parted and Lexa nudged her horse forward, Clarke now directly to her left. Tam maneuvered her horse between Clarke and the crowd, and a few other warriors closed rank around them as they passed through the gates of Polis then spread out a little, allowing Lexa room to interact with the crowd as she had outside the gates. Clarke did the same, keeping a few feet back out of what Lexa knew was deference for her role as _Heda_ and not for the first time, she wondered what it would be like to have Clarke at her side, as a leader in her own right and perhaps more, though it was rare for a Commander to take a steady lover. Rarer still for that lover to be considered a leader among her people.

But as she listened to the chants of _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ , and considered that here she was, Commander of twelve currently unified clans, perhaps other things might change, as well.

She dismounted in front of the tower. “ _Pas yu choj op, fig au_ _chon bilaik kongeda ste hir_ ,”7 she said to Atlan.

“ _Sha_.” She took her pack off her horse and strode into the tower.

“ _Lok Titus op_. _Lid em in kom strik wogeda_ ,” she directed Tam, who gave her a respectful nod. “ _En lok Miks seingeda op_.” 8

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Tam took her leave and entered the tower.

“ _Teik Klark kom Skaikru gon em wongeda_ ,” Lexa directed a guard from the tower. “ _Tel Balta op bilaik Klark don kom op_.” 9

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” The guard waited nearby.

Lexa turned to Clarke, who had dismounted and stood nearby, waiting. “This guard will accompany you to your quarters. Balta will check on you soon, but you will have time to rest and eat. If you wish to go anywhere, please inform your guards and allow them to accompany you.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“I must attend to a few things, but I will see you later.”

Clarke nodded and smiled. “ _Mochof_ ,” she simply said, but Lexa saw many more things in her eyes and she was burning to explore them all. Clarke flashed her another smile and walked into the tower with the guard. Lexa wrenched her gaze away from her and went to the guardhouse, four warriors automatically falling into step with her.

  
1 _Maun-de ste odon_? Is the mountain finished?   
2 _Sha_ , _strikon_. _Maun-de_ _ste odon_. _Wanheda en Skaikru_ _don teik em daun_ : Yes, little one, the mountain is finished. _Wanheda_ and _Skaikru_ defeated it.   
3 _Klark, em laik Frana kom Trikru_ _en em nontu, Morgun kom Trikru_ : Clarke, this is Frana of/from _Trikru_ and her father, Morgun of/from _Trikru_   
4 _Maun-de don hon em_ _nomon op_ … _Ai don tel em op bilaik nou moun na ste hon_ _daun_. _Mochof, yu en Heda_ : The mountain took her mother. I told her that no more will be taken. Thanks [to] you and _Heda_.   
5 _Yu koma osir op_. _Osir na badan oso kru op ogenda_ : You honor us. We [not inclusive of listener] will serve our people, together.   
6 _Ai ge koma op na badan op yu en kongeda_ : I am honored to serve you and the _kongeda_   
7 _Pas yu choj op, fig au_ _chon bilaik kongeda ste hir_ : After you eat, find out who of the _kongeda_ is here.   
8 _Lok Titus op_. _Lid em in kom strik wogeda … En lok Miks seingeda op_ : Find Titus. Bring him to the small council room. And find Mik’s family.   
9 _Teik Klark kom Skaikru gon em wongeda_ … _Tel Balta op bilaik Klark don kom op_ : Take Clarke of/from _Skaikru_ to her room. Tell Balta that Clarke has arrived.”

###

Lexa walked briskly past the guards in the tower who watched her pass with smiles and murmurs of “ _Heda_.” She gave them nods back and stepped onto the lift with the four guards who had gone with her to the guardhouse. The lift stopped and she moved purposefully to the conference room and entered.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said as he turned from the open balcony doors, his hands clasped behind his back. He gave her a respectful nod but she detected the phantom of a smile.

“ _Fleimkepa_.” She joined him at the window and gazed out over the city, bathed in the softer light of late evening. “Are you well?”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, and another hint of a smile tugged at his mouth.

“What news?”

“Polis is pleased with the fate of _Maun-de_.” As if to support his statement, she heard the echoes of laughter and raucous shouts drifting through the open doors.

“As am I,” she said, and then she waited for him to continue.

“The scouts arrived before first light from your camp with your message. Are you certain Nia is returning to _Azgeda_?”

“We can only be certain of the possibility that Nia may not do what she has said she would. We’ll know in the next day.”

He nodded, another smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “I have heard that Roan is also on his way there.”

“Your sources are correct.” She turned toward him and hooked her thumbs on her belt. “What of the clan council?”

“Eight have arrived. Atlan will inform you. The rest will be here within two days. It appears the council is pleased with events at _Maun-de_ as well and opposition to _Skaikru_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_ has decreased.”

She pursed her lips. “And the Conclave?”

“Safe in Polis again.”

“ _Mochof_.”

He inclined his head, which had the effect of making him appear owlish. A silence hung between them for a while before he spoke again.

“ _Heda_ , you have, of course, been considering what Nia may do in the next few days.” He phrased it as a statement, but it was also a question.

“Many times.” She looked over at him. “I expect she will challenge me, regardless of what Roan accomplishes.”

He nodded, perhaps relieved that she had been thinking as he had. “I, too, have considered this. She is desperate, now. She no longer has allies in the mountain and Roan has managed to sow enough discontent that she is no doubt aware of the threat he poses. Regardless, if he manages to wrest _Azgeda_ from her, she may still challenge you, and she does have some support among the clans.”

Lexa toyed with the hilt of one of her knives. “ _Sha_.” She was only too aware that Nia would probably still find a way to mount a challenge to her even as her hold on power crumbled. “I expect she will do so at the council when she appears for her accounting.”

He offered a soft grunt in response.

“How much support does she still have among the clan leadership?” she asked. He would have a better sense, given his network of informants.

“It is not substantial any longer, but it lingers, and it is connected to distrust of _Skaikru_ , though after what happened at _Maun-de_ , opposition to _Skaikru_ is no longer as open. Should Nia challenge you and should you ensure that the challenge is crushed, that opposition will be crushed, as well.”

“Mmm,” she intoned. Though some aspects of Nia had been demystified at their last meeting, she was still dangerous. Lexa had no illusions about that, and how things had ended at the confrontation would ensure fuel for Nia’s rage.

“Indra will be here soon,” he said. “She will have other news.”

Lexa nodded. “Clarke has a radio with her and can contact Arkadia, that we may determine whether _Azgeda_ has truly left _Skaikru_ territory.”

Another protracted silence settled between them.

“It is being said that _Skaikru_ ensured the destruction of the missiles in _Maun-de_ ,” he said after a while.

“ _Sha_.”

“And that you killed the last of the _Maunon_.”

She nodded, thinking about how Clarke had greeted her and how it felt to hold her again, despite the public display. Foolish. Perhaps even dangerous to engage in such, but Lexa knew she would do it again, willingly.

“You entered the mountain?”

“ _Sha_.” She held his gaze.

“Was that wise?”

She half-smiled. “It ensured the death of Emerson.”

He gazed out over the city and she knew he wanted to say something further about her relationship with _Skaikru_. She waited.

“It also ensured your continued association with _Skaikru_.” His tone was soft, but the weight of warning provided extra gravitas.

“It is also known that _Skaikru_ was the clan best positioned to disable the tech and thus the clan to enter the mountain first. As members of the _kongeda_ , we are bound to aid as we can. _Maun-de_ threatened us all. Or perhaps you had forgotten that,” she said, terse.

“I mean no disrespect, _Heda_. Given the opposition that remains to _Skaikru_ , it may not be in your best interests to continue a close association with Arkadia.”

Or Clarke, was what he was saying. “And what has your network to say about this?” she pressed.

He didn’t respond right away, which meant he didn’t have information to answer her question, and that his statement was a warning based on his own experiences with the clans. “There are those who may not trust _Skaikru_ , but they seem to approve of Clarke,” he admitted. “I just wish to ensure that you do not inadvertently create a rift between the other members of the _kongeda_ and _Trikru_ with what may be seen as favoritism toward _Skaikru_.”

“All thoughts I have had, Titus,” she said with a quick smile, which seemed to disarm him and he looked at her, uncertain. “I am well aware of the value of certain appearances, but I am also aware that sometimes, it is important for _Heda_ to be seen through different eyes.”

He frowned, puzzled.

“What kind of leader would I be, if I did not attempt to create bonds between a new clan and older? We need _Skaikru_ to support us, as well, and if I did not reach out to them now, they may not feel they are valued and may not aid us later. Keep in mind that at some point, there may be another among them as _Heda Bekah_ , who carried _Sheidjus_.” 10 She cocked her head. “In the future, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that the _kongeda_ is governed by a _Heda_ whose origins are _Skaikru_. We must thus forge strong bonds now.”

He did not respond, but by the set of his jaw, he was pondering her words.

“Tell me of the _natrona_ that were brought to Polis,” she said, knowing he would need time to think about her previous statements.

“There are four, and all insist that there is a City of Light at which all are welcome.”

“Have they told you where it is?”

“Of course not. They have no idea of its location, but they insist it is beyond the Dead Zone, as the stories say.”

Lexa thought she heard music drifting on the evening breezes. “They will have plenty of time to find it.”

He glanced at her.

“Clarke will have them banished.”

He said nothing for a while, but that was his way, when he was sorting through how to address something she had said. “She does not wish them to return to Arkadia?”

“No. She never did. She feels they are a danger to _Skaikru_ and may poison others and sow dissent.”

He looked at her, surprised but also skeptical. “And Arkadia accepts this?”

“Clarke is the _Skaikru_ clan representative. She and Kane agreed it was the best thing to do, and he has the ear of the Chancellor.” Possibly in more ways than simply platonically. She had seen the way Abby looked at him.

“There is no word of any other _natrona_ from the mountain. Nothing about this man Pike,” he said.

“I want all the clans notified that should _natrona kom Skaikru_ be located, they are to be captured alive and brought to Polis.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. Perhaps they are seeking the City of Light, as well,” he said, sardonic.

“Let them seek,” she said, tone hard and flat. “Anywhere outside the Dead Zone, and they are to be brought here.” She doubted they’d last long in the Dead Zone, so if they made it there, perhaps the wastelands would finish them off, burying their myth with them.

“ _Heda_ , _teik ai mes op_?” 11 Atlan asked from the doorway and both Lexa and Titus turned.

“ _Sha_ ,” she said, and Atlan joined them near the balcony.

“Nine council members are in Polis, including Clarke,” Atlan said. “ _Podakru_ just entered the city. _Sankru_ sent a scout. They will arrive before nightfall tomorrow. _Ingranrona_ did the same and they, too, should arrive tomorrow. We await word from _Oeskejon_. Also, we have word from Indra. She will arrive after nightfall.”

“Send for me when she does,” Lexa said.

“ _Sha_.”

“And Atlan, I will need your presence tomorrow. Clarke will most likely wish to formally banish the _natrona_ sooner rather than later.”

“Of course. I’ll bring another.”

“ _Mochof_.” Atlan would choose someone supportive of both Lexa and Clarke to serve as a second _kongeda_ witness.

Atlan left and Titus turned back to Lexa. “You are certain Clarke will do this?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You question me on this subject again?” she asked, but her tone was warmer than he must have expected because uncertainty flashed in his eyes.

“Forgive me, _Heda_. I suppose I remain surprised that _Skaikru_ would banish some of their own. It does not seem it is their way.”

“No. On the Ark, they would no doubt have executed them.”

He frowned but remained silent.

“Clarke told me that because resources were so scarce, everything was carefully watched and controlled. Any infraction, it seems, was worthy of death. Perhaps if banishment had been an option, _Skaikru_ may have chosen different punishments.” But in the sky, with limited space and only so much available, she could almost understand what _Skaikru_ had decided to do, though it struck her, that in some ways, _Skaikru_ ’s ways were even harsher than those on the ground.

“Do you require my presence as well when Clarke banishes them?”

“If you wish. I know there is work you need to do with the Conclave.”

He nodded and she knew he most likely would not attend unless she specifically requested it. “It seems we will have a full council before Nia responds,” he said.

“Perhaps.” She hoped so. That made it difficult for Nia to flaunt Lexa’s orders, because a full council could act quickly should she decide not to obey.

“I will inform you of any opinions you may need to know about.” He meant that he had already activated his spies among the tower staff to pay special attention to clan representatives and those who traveled with them.

“ _Mochof_.”

“Do you require anything further?”

“Not until Indra arrives.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He inclined his head and moved toward the doorway then stopped halfway there. “I am pleased that you have returned,” he said, and then he stepped into the corridor.

She smiled. Titus rarely expressed affection, but she had learned to read his moods and the thoughts between his silences and statements and that was probably the closest he would come to admitting it. The strains of music again caught her attention and she moved onto the balcony, allowing herself a bit of respite in the familiarity of Polis.

Her thoughts turned to Clarke’s first days in the city, and how the lines between the woman from the sky and the city on the ground seemed to blur, as if there were no boundary between them, as if Polis recognized a shared spirit. She thought back to the first time she saw Clarke, when she entered her tent, head held high, willing to come before a woman who could determine the fate of her very life, if she so chose. Clarke knew all of that, but she came anyway, because it was what she had to do for her people, and Lexa understood that. Like Polis, she, too, understood what it was to recognize a shared spirit.

And now here they were, intertwined, their paths meeting and colliding in ways she had only dared hope for. Her skin tingled at memories of Clarke’s hands on her bare skin, her fingertips lightly tracing her scars, her lips sliding down her abdomen—

“ _Heda_ ,” came Tam’s voice and Lexa turned, though her blood still seemed to run hot from her chest to her thighs.

“ _Ai don lok Miks seingeda op. Em bro Oskir ste oudor_.” 12

She nodded and went to the lift, her guards and Tam on her heels, and descended. Once outside, she moved to a group of warriors a few yards away, talking quietly. A man of average height stood near them, his hands clasped in front of him. He had the look of a tradesman about him, evident in the thick leather apron that covered his chest and pelvic area. Blacksmithing, from the scorch marks on his apron and the healed burns on his hands. He saw Lexa and straightened as she approached, pain in his deepset eyes.

“ _Oskir kom Trikru_ ,” she said in greeting, somber. This kind of conversation was never easy, but it was necessary.

“ _Heda_. _Yu gona don tel ai op, bilaik ai bro ste daun_.” 13

 _“Sha_.”

The warriors quieted.

His eyes filled with tears. “ _Ha_?” 14 he asked, his voice ragged.

“ _Em don throu doun kom Azgeda_ ,” she said softly, “ _raun Maun-de_. _Em don shil op kongedakru_.” 15

“ _Em don sis op kom Maun-de_?” 16

“ _Sha_. _Em don throu doun kom koma_.” 17

He nodded, and tears coursed down his weathered cheeks to collect in his beard. She removed the lock of Mik’s hair from her pouch and pulled Oskir’s hand toward her. He opened his fingers and she set the lock of hair in his palm and closed his fingers over it but held his one hand in her two for a moment.

“ _Em gonplei ste odon_ ,” she said. “ _Em don kik ruan en don wan op kom koma_.” 18

He drew a deep, sobbing breath and nodded again.

She released his hand and he stared at the lock of hair. “ _Heda_ ,” he said. “ _Beja_ , _teik plana Nia daun_.” 19

She gave him one solemn nod and he held her gaze for a long moment then turned and walked away, his shoulders slumping. She returned to the tower, wondering if neutralizing Nia or her threats would stop deaths like Mik’s. The world in which they all lived offered any number of ways to die, after all. And no doubt there would be someone else who would rise to power and challenge _Heda_ , thus continuing a familiar cycle. But perhaps they would all have some peace for a time should Nia be removed from power.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said as they entered the tower. “Balta would like to speak with you.”

Lexa half-smiled. “And you waited to tell me this until now?”

“I know you do not like to be rushed when you speak with someone as you just did.”

She stopped at the lift and regarded Tam. “ _En’s ridiyo_ 20. _Weron ste Balta_?”

“ _Yu wogeda_.”

She chuckled. “Of course she is.” Tam raised her eyebrows in surprise. Lexa knew it was because she rarely showed that side of herself publicly. “Very well. Should any scouts arrive, alert me.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa stepped onto the lift, her guards with her, and ordered it to the floor with her quarters. As they ascended, she wondered if Clarke would still be in her own quarters or if she had decided to go into the city. She hoped the former, but knew it was purely selfish on her part to think that. Images of Clarke from the night before again entered her mind and she steeled herself, both annoyed and amused that just thoughts about her could trigger such powerful physical sensations, especially between her thighs.

The lift stopped and Lexa stepped off with her guards, keeping her eyes on the door to her own quarters, which was partially open. She succumbed to a glance at Clarke’s door. A guard stood outside, which indicated that Clarke was probably inside. Lexa fought a grin as she stepped into her quarters and shut the door. Balta had already lit several candles in the gathering gloom of twilight and she must have heard the door, because she appeared from the bathroom, wearing a white tunic and a dark green skirt that brushed her boots as she walked. “ _Heda_ ,” she said with a smile and genuine warmth. “I am pleased to see you.”

She smiled back. “You sent for me?”

Balta laughed. “Indra will be here in a few hours, which gives you time to bathe and eat. Have you any wounds that need tending?”

“No,” she said as she started unbuckling her sword harness, thinking that Clarke was right. Sometimes, she did enjoy being fretted over. She just wished it was Clarke. “Have you any news beyond what Titus told me?”

Balta rolled her eyes and Lexa pretended not to notice as she removed her swords from the harness and placed them on their wall hooks.

“The Novitiates are well, but I suspect they would like to see you.”

“Mmm.” She hung her harness on its hook and removed her belt and knives. “Tomorrow, I think.” She placed her knives in the holder beneath the hooks and took her shoulder guards off.

“I suppose Titus expressed his concern that Nia will most likely find a way to challenge you.”

“He did.” She took her coat off and hung it on another hook then sat down at the table and started removing her boots. “He’s right.” She dropped the first boot onto the floor.

“When?”

“She may do it once she arrives in Polis for her accounting.” She dropped the remaining boot onto the floor then bent over and stood them both up.

“I have heard such rumors among the clan representatives.”

“Oh?” Lexa looked up and waited for her to elaborate.

“The general consensus is that most seem tired of Nia and would like to be done with her. A few wondered if Roan might not be a decent leader of _Azgeda_.” She raised an eyebrow.

“And if Nia were to challenge me?”

“The clan representatives hope you defeat her.”

Lexa snorted. “She won’t fight me herself. She’ll choose a champion.”

Balta’s eyes narrowed. “Ontari?”

“No. Nia needs her to take the spirit of the Commander. She won’t risk her in a contest with me.” Lexa walked to the bathroom and left a pile of clothing on the floor before she stepped into the tub and sank gratefully into the water, still almost hot. She scrubbed herself thoroughly and let Balta work on her hair.

“But if Ontari becomes Commander, would she continue to follow Nia’s orders?” Balta asked as she worked soap through Lexa’s hair.

“Nia is arrogant. She presumes that Ontari is in thrall to her. She may be, but the spirit of the Commander might not choose someone who cannot make her own decisions.” She closed her eyes.

“Lean forward,” Balta said and Lexa did and kept her eyes closed while Balta dumped a bucket of water over her head. Its warmth streamed over her scalp and down her shoulders and back and she relaxed even more. Balta dumped two more buckets-ful over Lexa’s head.

“Finish as you like, _Heda_ ,” Balta said. “I will bring food.” She squeezed Lexa’s shoulder and left and Lexa leaned back, fighting an urge to race to Clarke’s quarters. She was giddy with both uncertainty about how they would maneuver whatever this was between them and excitement that they would. She hadn’t dared to think about what would happen if Clarke reciprocated her feelings, but the unthinkable had happened and now she worried that her position as _Heda_ would somehow drive them apart. The thought was unbearable and Lexa instead replaced it with memories of the night before.

After a while, with the water cooling, she got out, dried off, and ran a comb through her hair. Balta had left clean clothing for her, and she’d also taken the pile of clothes that Lexa had left on the floor. She dressed quickly, and went back into the main room just as the door opened and Balta entered with a large tray. Lexa sniffed and the aroma of soup made her realize that she was, in fact, hungry.

She sat at the table and Balta set some dishes out for her. Lexa sipped from the cup of tea first. Its warmth slid down her throat and she sighed. Balta smiled and set another place to Lexa’s right.

Lexa looked up at her. “Are you staying?” She hadn’t had a meal with Balta in weeks.

“Another time, _Heda_.” She smiled again and poured the second cup full of tea. “I thought instead that you would not mind if Clarke joined you for this meal,” she said, sounding entirely too innocent.

She chuckled and took another sip of tea. “No, I would not mind.” At all.

“I thought not.” She lit several more candles and it seemed not to surprise her when someone knocked on the door. “ _Min yu op_ ,” Balta said and Lexa stood, heart pounding, as Clarke entered. She wore dark trousers and a gray shirt that hugged her chest in a way that made Lexa forget to breathe.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, and her smile slipped easily into Lexa’s heart. “Balta.”

“Clarke,” Lexa responded, hoping that Balta wouldn’t hear the effect Clarke had on her in her voice. “It appears Balta is fretting over both of us.”

“And she does it so well,” Clarke said.

Balta inclined her head and directed a sly smile at Clarke.

Lexa motioned for Clarke to take the chair next to hers then sat down as Balta served Clarke then set the tray at the other end of the table.

“I shall return,” Balta said. “ _Heda_ , inform me if you require anything.”

“ _Mochof_.”

Balta left and shut the door quietly behind her.

“How are you?” Lexa asked, feeling strangely nervous, caught up in Clarke’s presence and her steady, heated gaze. “Did you rest?”

“Good. And yes.” And then she leaned closer and cupped the back of Lexa’s neck and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss and Lexa couldn’t think anymore, could only sink into the feel of Clarke’s lips and tongue, and she wondered how she had ever existed without her.

Clarke pulled away and let her fingers trail along Lexa’s jaw and every part of her tingled at the touch. “Sorry, _Heda_ ,” she said softly. “I’m going to do that every chance I have.”

“Don’t apologize,” she said with a smile. “I approve.”

“I thought you would.” She squeezed Lexa’s hand and picked up her tea, studying her over the rim of the cup. “I’m guessing you haven’t rested, though.”

“Not yet,” she said as she dug into her stew. “Were you able to contact Kane?”

“Yes. Wash would like me to inform you that they are breaking camp tomorrow early and _Skaikru_ will return to Arkadia. He’ll go with them then return to Polis.”

“And _Skaikru_? Everyone is able to travel?” She sipped her tea, watching how the candlelight played across Clarke’s features.

“That’s what Kane said. Jasper seemed good this morning when I saw him, and he was the one my mom was concerned about.” She squeezed Lexa’s free hand and continued eating. “I would like to see the _natrona_.” She caught Lexa’s gaze. “Is there some kind of formal ceremony involved with a banishment?”

“Not in this case. But it will require two other clan representatives as witnesses.”

“Is that something I need to arrange?”

“If there were a formal clan meeting, you could raise the issue yourself, but since the next formal gathering isn’t for a few days, I have the authority to make such a request.” She watched Clarke eat for a moment. “I already have.”

“Then I’ll trust your choices.”

“ _Wanheda_ continues to demonstrate her wisdom,” she teased and Clarke smiled and dipped a piece of bread into the stew.

“I missed this,” she said after she swallowed.

“The bread? Or the stew? Regardless, I’m pleased you enjoy it.”

Clarke bumped her knee into Lexa’s thigh, making her laugh. “Both,” she retorted. “The food in Polis is better than what was available on the Ark. But, more importantly—” she paused. “I missed… _this_.” She motioned with her hand. “Being here with you. In Polis.”

Lexa intertwined her fingers with Clarke’s and even a gesture this simple left her breathless, burning for more. She kissed the back of Clarke’s hand. “Polis feels empty without you,” she said softly, remembering how everything seemed to shift when Clarke arrived, how it seemed like something settled into place, right where it needed to be, no matter how angry Clarke was, no matter the ghosts that rode her thoughts, or that she might never forgive Lexa for what happened the first time at the mountain. It didn’t matter because she brought with her the piece of Lexa’s heart that she had left behind. And Lexa knew, even as she walked away from _Maun-de_ that day, walked away from Clarke and _Skaikru_ , that there was no better place for that piece than with Clarke. No better place than with the woman who fell from the sky.

Her throat tightened and she dropped her gaze to their hands, hers a story in faint scars and calluses, Clarke’s a tale in streaks of charcoal and a few nicks still healing. Those were points of their convergence, markers of the timeline that started once Clarke left her orbit and burst into Lexa’s, trailing hope, fire, and blood not yet shed. She ran her thumb lightly over Clarke’s, overwhelmed but finally intact, finally where she needed to be. She looked up into Clarke’s eyes, so blue. So like the sky after all.

“I am always _Heda_ ,” she said, apologetic.

“I know,” Clarke said, voice soft. She moved her chair closer and brushed a strand of hair out of Lexa’s eyes.

“Because of that, everything I do is a risk.”

Clarke waited, her hand warm in Lexa’s.

“I put everyone around me in danger, simply because of it.”

“I know.”

Lexa swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat, but needing to say this, to make sure that Clarke understood. “I may cause you great pain again,” she said. “If you allow yourself to care.”

Clarke kissed her hand, and her expression was so full of everything Lexa had thought she would never see that she stared for a moment then caught her breath.

“Anything could happen to me,” she managed after a few more moments. “And if you care, you will hurt.”

She held Lexa’s gaze for a while. “I could say the same thing to you, because every day is a risk for every one of us.” She pushed back from the table. “Come with me,” she said, and she pulled Lexa to her feet and led her to the balcony, where she leaned on the railing, still holding Lexa’s hand. Firelight danced and flickered across the city below and laughter and shouts floated on the night breeze. Lexa smelled the tang of the forest and an underlying note that presaged colder weather.

Clarke turned toward her, features just visible in the soft candlelight from the interior and all Lexa could do was stare, mesmerized. “I was born on a space station orbiting this planet,” Clarke said, “confined within metal walls, never able to go outside, never able to feel rain or sun or how the air feels against my skin.” She caressed Lexa’s cheek with her free hand. “All that changed when I came to the ground, and everything I thought I knew, everything I thought about my life and my future—everything—changed. And no, it hasn’t been easy.” Her hand stilled on Lexa’s cheek. “But then, not many things are.”

Lexa covered Clarke’s hand with hers, wondering at the paths they’d traveled to arrive at this point, and wanting nothing more than to capture this moment and hold it forever.

“Life on the ground is so much more than I expected or even dared hope for and yes, it’s been really, really hard but in many ways, it’s made me appreciate every day I’m able to feel the rain and the sun and even the air on my skin. So I understand, when you tell me there’s a possibility that caring about you could end badly for me or you. The same thing could happen if you care about me.” She gently freed her other hand and cupped Lexa’s face. “But I didn’t come all this way to find you only to walk away.”

Lexa released a ragged breath and rested her forehead against Clarke’s.

“I miss you when we’re not together,” she whispered, her words warm against Lexa’s mouth. “I don’t know how, and I’m not sure when, but you’re a part of me and wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

Lexa dropped her hands to Clarke’s hips, heart pounding. “It won’t be easy.”

“Not many things are,” she repeated, this time with a smile. “But you’re worth it. _This_ is worth it.” And she kissed her and Lexa pulled her close and melted against her, heart hammering in her chest, and it was like she could breathe again, like she’d never known where home really was until that moment.

Clarke slowly pulled away, her fingertips trailing across Lexa’s cheek and then she slid her hands around Lexa’s waist and rested her head on her shoulder, settling against her like she’d always belonged there.

Maybe she had.

Lexa held her close and shut her eyes, listening to her breathe, her body warm and solid against her, and she wondered if she could hope for more between them than stolen moments and long stretches apart. She turned her head and kissed Clarke’s forehead.

She smiled again and ran her hands up Lexa’s back. “You realize that the more time I spend with you, the more I want?”

“Mmm. I’m not sure that’s bad.”

“It’s not. Just an observation.” Her hands wandered down Lexa’s back and the touch made Lexa think of the things Clarke could do with her fingers. She flushed.

Clarke pulled away a little and looked up at her. “I was thinking about something today.”

She smiled.

Clarke cocked her head. “What?”

“When you have thoughts, you invariably share them.”

“And?” She frowned, but it was clear she was teasing and Lexa leaned in and kissed her.

“I appreciate it.”

“Good to know.” She rested her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and Lexa felt the warmth from her palms through her shirt. “Did people know about your relationship with Costia?”

“Some did,” she said, unperturbed by Clarke’s abrupt shift in topic. “Those who are close to me knew. As did those who were close to her.” She waited for the familiar pain that came with mention of Costia, but instead there was only a soft sadness.

“What did people think?”

“There were those who said that it’s dangerous for a Commander to take a lover or to marry, because that person will always be at risk, too, and can be used against me.”

“Like Costia was.”

“ _Sha_.”

“What if Costia had been a _heda_ in her own right, of another clan?”

Lexa waited.

“I mean, if she had been a leader, then anyone who attempted to hurt her would risk causing a war not only with you, but with her clan. And now, with the _kongeda_. Not to suggest that leadership is the only thing that gives anybody worth, but in relation to _Heda_ , maybe it can provide protection if, say, _Heda_ decided to take a leader as a lover. Especially if the leader was from another clan.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, daring to guess where her thought might be going and Clarke made a little sighing noise.

“When you do that—stop distracting me,” she said, her hands gripping Lexa’s shoulders harder. “I’m trying to tell you about my thought.”

“And I’m listening. But I rather like the effect I seem to have on you.”

They stared at each other and Lexa wanted things she wasn’t sure she could control.

Clarke smiled, slow and teasing and moved her hands to Lexa’s hips. “The feeling is mutual.”

Lexa felt a blush spread across her face but in the dim light, she hoped Clarke didn’t see. She swallowed and when she spoke, her voice rasped a little. “Your thought?”

“We’re back to that?” She sounded disappointed but she was still smiling and Lexa could only stare at the playful curve of her mouth and the way candlelight danced in her eyes.

“For now.”

“And later?”

She clenched her teeth together for a moment, as if that would somehow calm the pounding of her heart and the ever-increasing throbbing between her thighs and she was surprised and a little unnerved by the force of this desire. It cared nothing for the trappings of _Heda_ , or for the responsibilities and duties she faced, and made her think of possibilities she had kept locked away for years.

“I see,” Clarke said with teasing smugness. “You seem to forget that you’re out here on your balcony with _Wanheda_ , who, I’ve heard, can kick some pretty serious ass.”

She laughed, low in her throat. “I’ve heard that, too. But I’ve heard the same of _Heda_.”

Clarke smiled and gently squeezed her hips. “Fine. Here’s my thought. I’m a leader in a clan that isn’t yours, and people might be less inclined to use a lover against you if that person was someone like me. Or, if I’m being completely honest, if that person _was_ me.”

Lexa stared at her, the implications of what she said hanging in the cool air between them.

“In other words, if you want—” she gestured with her hand, “this to continue—which I hope you do—maybe knowing that it could be a lot harder to use me against you than it was Costia will help you worry less.” She stopped talking and bit her lower lip. “Not that I’m suggesting we run around announcing anything. Especially since not everybody in the _kongeda_ will be supportive of a _Skaikru_ lover. Yet.”

Lexa stared at her then cupped her face and pressed her lips against her forehead. “How could I not want this to continue, _Klark kom Skaikru_?” She ran her thumb lightly over Clarke’s lower lip. “I swore fealty to you,” she said softly. “That will never change.” She kissed her, a tender, soft meeting of mouths that Lexa stopped before it heated. “You’re a part of me, as well.”

Clarke gripped the front of her shirt and Lexa wasn’t prepared for the force of her kiss, or the fierce intensity with which she delivered it that pushed her back against the balcony railing, but she met it willingly, matched it fervently, and everything was lips and heat and tongues and the faint timbre of spice in Clarke’s mouth. Lexa groaned—or was that Clarke?—and it was as if a barrier collapsed within and she was pouring over it, pouring into that kiss and into all the hopes she’d carried since the first time Clarke walked into her tent.

“Lexa,” Clarke said against her lips, urgent and panting, “I need you.”

“I know.” And she pushed her back against the wall and lifted her enough so she could wrap her legs around Lexa’s waist and Lexa could feel heat from Clarke’s crotch on her stomach, even through her shirt, and she pressed harder against her. Clarke’s fingers were buried in Lexa’s hair and her mouth was on hers, then on her jaw, then her neck and she jerked Lexa’s collar aside and her lips and tongue were fire on her sternum and shoulder.

Lexa used her legs to keep Clarke braced and she quickly undid the fastener on Clarke’s trousers, earning a long, low moan. She seemed to know what Lexa required next, because she held onto her shoulders and stood on her own power, back still against the wall, and Lexa leaned in and sucked and nipped at her neck as she slid one hand into Clarke’s pants. She groaned at what she felt there and placed her other hand on the wall near Clarke’s head as she gently explored Clarke’s soaked folds, moving a little to position herself more comfortably.

Clarke moaned again. “Lexa,” she said with a breathy gasp and the sound of her name like that on Clarke’s lips sent a wave of heat down her own thighs.

“So beautiful,” Lexa whispered against Clarke’s neck, lost in the taste of her skin and the sensation of moisture coating her hand. Clarke’s fingers dug into her back and she was breathing heavily and Lexa thought she could feel her heart beating against her chest, matching the pounding of her own. She’d never felt this kind of pull, never ached in the ways she did for Clarke, and whatever walls she might have thought she still had were completely useless against the connection between them.

Someone knocked loud enough to hear on the balcony and they both froze, staring at each other. Another knock, and Lexa scowled. Clarke stifled a laugh and cleared her throat.

“You’re always _Heda_ ,” she said, mischief sparking in her eyes.

“And sometimes it’s not convenient,” she retorted with a low, heated growl that made Clarke grin.

“True. But it’s part of your allure.”

“ _Heda_ ,” came Balta’s voice on the other side of the door. “Indra has arrived.”

Lexa sighed, frustrated, and Clarke moved so she could withdraw her hand, though it took an act of will. She started to apologize when Clarke silenced her with a kiss.

“Don’t. It’s not your fault. But fair warning. I intend to make sure you finish this.”

“I would expect no less from _Wanheda_.” She kissed her again.

“Go,” Clarke said.

Lexa let her gaze linger on her for a moment. “I hope you know that you are welcome in my quarters.”

She gave her a cheeky grin. “Are you asking me to stay the night with you?” she asked as she fastened her trousers and smoothed her shirt before she smoothed Lexa’s as well.

“Always.”

Her expression was full of desire and something much deeper. “Damn it, go before I change both our minds.”

“That would not be difficult,” she said before she stepped inside. “ _Min yu op_ ,” she said as she put her belt on and sheathed her knives.

Balta leaned in. “ _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Ai nou don gaf in bilaik yu na get daun_.” 21

She smiled. “ _Ai don tel yu op bilaik Indra do kom op_. _Weron ste em_?” 22

“ _Strik wogeda_.” 23

“ _Mochof_.” Lexa moved past her into the corridor and walked toward the stairs, two guards in front of her and one behind and it was all she could do, as she descended, not to turn around.

 

  
10 _Sheidjus_ : nightblood [general, as opposed to the proper noun _Natblida_ ]   
11 _Heda_ , _teik ai mes op?_ Heda, may I interrupt? [permission to interrupt]   
12 _Ai don lok Miks seingeda op. Em bro Oskir ste oudor*_ : I found Mik’s family. His brother Oskir is outside. [I noted earlier that Peterson doesn’t appear to have a term for “outside,” so I made one up, derived from “out” and “doors” :D]   
13 _Heda_. _Yu gona don tel ai op, bilaik ai bro ste daun_ : Heda. Your warrior told me that my brother is dead.   
14 _Ha_? How?   
15 _Em don throu doun kom Azgeda_ … _raun Maun-de_. _Em don shil op kongedakru_ : He fought with _Azgeda_ near the mountain. He was protecting [members of] the _kongeda_.   
16 _Em don sis op kom Maun-de_ : He helped with the mountain?   
17 _Sha_. _Em don throu doun kom koma_ : Yes. He fought with honor.   
18 _Em gonplei ste odon_ … _Em don kik ruan en don wan op kom koma_ : His fight is over. He lived and died with honor.   
19 _Beja_ , _teik plana Nia daun_ : Please, defeat queen Nia.   
20 _En’s ridiyo_. _Weron ste Balta?_ It’s/that’s true. Where is Balta?   
21 _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Ai nou don gaf in bilaik yu na get daun_ : Apologies, _Heda_. I didn’t want to disturb you.   
22 _Ai don tel yu op bilaik Indra don kom op_. _Weron ste em_? I told you to, when Indra arrived. Where is she?   
23 _Strik wogeda_ : small conference room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day late. Sorry! Shooting for posting Friday or Saturdays; my schedule is cray. Also, it occurred to me that Lexa needed to finalize things with Mik's family. He was the Trikru warrior who died in the forest from the poisoned arrow before Lexa entered Nia's camp to save Gina, in chapter 45. So I went back and added a line in that chapter indicating that Lexa cut a lock of Mik's hair -- the one she gave to his brother in this chapter. So for those who have been reading along, I made it consistent there with this chapter. :)
> 
> Also, MOAR CLEXA. Now that they're starting to get more comfortable with the idea of their Clexa-ness, I thought date night (courtesy of Balta) through Lexa's eyes might be fun. Hope you enjoyed it, though it was Clexa interruptus. But that'll be remedied...
> 
> And things with Nia are definitely building. Lexa is well aware that Nia will probably pull some shit, as are her advisors...we'll see how that pans out.
> 
> THANKS for the comments and kudos! I try to respond to the former ASAP, but you can also hit me up on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://andimarquette.tumblr.com/).
> 
> A couple of tunes from this chapter's playlist: Gryffin, "Whole Heart" (Mansionair remix); Kygo and Julia Michaels, "Carry Me"


	53. The Things We Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indra returns to Polis and meets with Lexa and Titus. Lexa also has some more time with Clarke...

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said with genuine warmth when Lexa entered. She was standing near the table with Tam, Arling, and Wash.

“ _Gona_ ,” she responded with affection as she clasped her proffered forearm. “It has been a while.” Indra’s clothing still bore traces of her travels, in the streaks of mud on her boots and trousers and dirt on her shirt and cloak. “Are you well?” She gave her a cursory onceover, looking for wounds or signs of anything else.

“ _Sha_ ,” she said with an answering smile. “And you?”

Lexa nodded. “I am well. Have you eaten or is Balta arranging that?”

“Balta will bring it.”

“Then let us begin.” She motioned for all to sit. “Speak freely,” she said as she settled in her chair. “Tell me if _Azgeda_ remains in the forests around Arkadia _._ ”

“No,” Indra said as she removed her cloak and placed it on the back of her chair before she sat down. “They started withdrawing after word of the mountain began spreading. The day _Skaikru_ went to your camp was when we noticed _Azgeda_ retreating.”

No doubt the collapse of Nia’s alliances with the _natrona_ and Emerson contributed to that. Lexa waited for her to continue.

“We followed a few of the groups of scouts. Two went to join Roan’s forces and three others rode toward _Azgeda_.”

“But even if they were going there,” Arling said, “that does not mean they still support Nia.” His clothing, like Indra’s, was stained and grimy. Exhaustion pulled at the corners of his eyes.

“True,” Lexa said. “But we cannot make that distinction with certainty. What of any other _natrona_ from the mountain?”

“I received word from _Trishana_ ,” Indra said. “They captured another two in the forests near the dam. These two said that three others who were with them may have died as they were leaving the mountain.”

“Are either of these two Sanders or Pike?”

“No, but one claimed that this man Sanders did not escape the mountain. He said that Emerson killed him.”

Lexa pursed her lips and leaned back. “And Pike?”

“They said he escaped with a few others, but they were not certain of the number.”

That left a few unaccounted for. “Did they say where Pike might be going?”

“The City of Light,” Arling said, disgusted.

She shifted her gaze to him. “Did they mention Jaha?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Arling said. “But they didn’t know if he had found it.” He grimaced. “Of course they haven’t found it. It doesn’t exist.”

She ignored his editorializing. “How many does Pike have with him?”

“They didn’t know, though they thought it couldn’t be more than five, since they all seemed sure that the rest died in the mountain.” Indra placed her hands on the table and clasped her fingers together.

We may never know how many died,” Lexa said. “The mountain will continue to flood. Where are these _natrona_ that _Trishana_ captured?”

“On their way here,” Indra said. “Under guard, of course. They should arrive in the next day or two. What do you plan to do with them?”

“Clarke is banishing the four that are already here. She will do the same with these other two.”

Arling raised his eyebrows and Indra sat back, surprised. “And _Skaikru_ has accepted this?”

Lexa knew Titus was watching her but she focused on Indra. “ _Sha_. Clarke feels these _natrona_ are dangerous to Arkadia, and she and Kane worry that these ideas about the City of Light could create difficulties.”

“A wise decision.” Indra flicked a glance at Titus. “Is Clarke here?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Lexa said. “She is the clan representative for _Skaikru_.” She looked at the doorway as Balta entered with a young man, both carrying trays. Balta set plates of fruit, meat, and bread near Indra and Arling and cups near everyone that she filled with tea. She emptied that pitcher and left another near Lexa.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said, and Balta gave her a nod and retreated with the young man. “Now tell me what you observed at Arkadia,” she said to Indra.

“They seem willing to work with us. A few are hostile, but not openly. Most seemed appreciative of the help of the _kongeda_.” She took a bite of meat and bread. “Are those attitudes because of Clarke?”

“ _Sha_. And Kane. Perhaps Abby, as well. Maybe others. You had _Trikru_ at Arkadia before Clarke went to _Maun-de_ , yes?”

Indra nodded. “ _Annan kom Trikru_ informed me that she was treated very well when she was brought to Arkadia after Pike’s attack, and that people asked good questions about the _kongeda_ and our people. She spoke highly of _Wanheda_ , as well.”

“ _Os_. Where is Annan now?”

“Tondc.” Indra picked up another piece of meat. She chewed for a moment then swallowed. “There seems to be a better feeling at Arkadia about you, _Heda_. I’ll know more after Kane returns there. He’ll tell _Skaikru_ about the mountain and the role you and the _kongeda_ played.” She gave her an enigmatic look. “He has supported you since the beginning.”

Lexa sipped her tea. Kane was a good ally to have, because of his sway with Abby, something Clarke didn’t always have. “What of Nia?”

Indra finished chewing. “The last report from the scouts suggest that she is still moving toward _Azgeda_. If she continues on the path of her last sighting, she should arrive before nightfall tomorrow. I should get another report after first light. We may know more then.”

“Roan should arrive at _Azgeda_ first.” She set her cup back on the table and looked at Titus. “What word do we have from within _Azgeda_?”

“Two days ago, there were rumors of Roan’s return circulating there.”

“And the mood about such?”

“Mostly supportive, our sources say. I, too, will know more tomorrow.”

“Once you do, alert me. I would speak with Jos after.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

She looked at Arling. “Once we are through here, send two scouts to Niylah’s trading stop. Nia may wish to use it as a point of contact with loyalists.”

“ _Sha_.” He took another piece of bread.

“ _Heda_.”

She shifted her gaze to Indra.

“There is a greater chance that Nia will challenge you. She may be desperate, and if she finds that Roan is in _Azgeda_ and that his banishment is lifted, she may decide to act.”

“ _Sha_.” Lexa poured herself more tea. “A matter for further discussion later. What are your imprssions of _kongeda_ forces since _Azgeda_ originally threatened Arkadia?”

Indra sat back. “Organized and willing to accept the orders from you via clan leaders. They were pleased to have control over local strategy, and to deal directly with me without having to send messages to Polis.”

Lexa half-smiled. “As I hoped.”

“I think perhaps some were worried that you would attempt to ignore clan leadership in a campaign this size.”

“There is no point to that, since I cannot be everywhere at once, and local leaders are best positioned to know how their warriors work best.” She looked at Arling. “Your sense?”

“Scouts worked more efficiently without having to journey to Polis all the time with every message.”

Lexa looked at Tam. “And you?”

“Arling speaks true. We were able to work more efficiently, and the other clans were willing to work with us in this fashion.”

“ _Skaikru_ ’s radios helped, as well,” Lexa said. “Do we have Roan’s definite location?” she asked Tam.

“ _Sha_. He is slightly behind the first of his forces that will be arriving at _Azgea_. I will send another scout at first light.”

Lexa nodded and leaned back, holding her cup. “When we are through here, send word to all the clans,” she said to Indra. “If any more _natrona_ are captured outside the Dead Zone, they are to be brought to Polis for formal banishment. And I want any word of Jaha. If he is outside the Dead Zone, I want word of it and I want him watched, but not captured. I want to know who he speaks with and what his plans are.”

She nodded and Lexa turned to Tam and Arling. “ _Mochof_.” She gave them a quick smile for emphasis. “Ensure you and your comrades are rested. There are many matters as yet unresolved.”

Both recognized the dismissal and they stood on one accord. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” they said in unison. Lexa waited until Tam shut the doors behind her before she addressed Indra again. Titus remained silent, watching.

“Nia will most likely challenge me when she arrives in Polis for her accounting.”

“Provided she will do so,” Titus said.

“She will.” Lexa pursed her lips. “She will not risk a war with the _kongeda_ , especially if she is made aware of Roan’s forces in _Azgeda_.”

“That is my feeling, too,” Indra said. “What measures would you have me put in place for a challenge?”

Lexa regarded her for a few moments. “You are my second. My forces here are yours, should Nia succeed.”

She said nothing in response, but her eyes narrowed.

“Prepare warriors to hold Polis,” Lexa continued. “The city must not fall to Nia, and the _kongeda_ can help with that, should I not be successful in her challenge.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said, “are you so certain that the _kongeda_ will continue to exist without you?”

“No. But I have enough supporters that at least Polis will not fall. Should Aden Ascend successfully, he, I think, is the most likely to continue the work that I started.” There were perhaps two others who might, as well, but Aden was the oldest and best positioned.

“How will that happen?” Titus asked. “If Nia succeeds, she will attempt to install her own Commander. What would you have me do with the Novitiates in that event?” Titus asked and Indra’s eyes widened.

“Hide them,” Lexa said. “Take them out of Polis while Indra secures the city. Keep them away from Nia. Take the flame with you and stay hidden. You may be required to hold an Ascension away from Polis. You cannot allow Nia to attempt to pass the flame to Ontari.”

He clamped his mouth shut into a thin, hard line.

“And what of Ontari?” Indra’s eyes gleamed with anger, but Lexa knew it wasn’t directed at her.

“Nia has two options to become _Heda_. She will either declare herself the winner of the challenge and force Polis and the clans to yield to her or she will attempt to force the _fleimkepa_ to pass the spirit to Ontari.”

Titus made a barely discernible noise in the back of his throat and when Lexa looked at him, he was gripping his cup with uncharacteristic force.

“I doubt she will have the support from _Azgeda_ to force Polis and the clans to do what she wants. So she will most likely attempt the other method.”

“She will not, then, risk Ontari in a challenge against you,” Indra said, tone flat.

“No. She may be confident in Ontari’s abilities in such a situation, but she won’t take such a chance. She may be self-serving and power-mad, but she is not stupid.” Which was unfortunate, because Lexa relished facing Ontari.

“She won’t put herself in the position to fight you,” Titus said, “so who will she call to champion her in a challenge?”

Lexa shrugged, but she had a few ideas. “Nia still has loyalists in her circle, many of whom are no doubt skilled and seasoned warriors who would love nothing more than to meet me in battle. It is from those she will most likely choose a champion.” Perhaps someone like Maldus’s father, she thought, since he would be angry about how Lexa had humiliated Nia, him, and his son.

“What of the clans?” Indra asked, and Lexa heard underlying anger in her tone.

 _“_ I have already spoken with Ferris and Atlan.” Both Titus and Indra would understand that the two would be working with other clan leaders to develop a plan for a challenge, and they would be doing so quietly, among a trusted network.

“Might they issue an annulment,” Indra asked, “given that Nia has engaged in acts of war against the _kongeda_?”

“That would only feed Nia’s poison that I am weak and unfit to be _Heda_. Even if I did not make the decision myself, that is how it would be perceived.”

“ _Heda_ is correct,” Titus said softly. “It is not in her best interests to refuse a challenge.”

Indra straighted in her chair and crossed her arms. “I will serve as your champion.”

Lexa shook her head. “ _No, Indra kom Trikru_. _Ai laik Heda_. _Non na throu daun gon ai_.” 1

“ _Heda_ ,” she pushed. “ _Ai laik yu seken. Ai badan yu op en ai na throu daun gon yu_. _Nia ge souda wan daun en kongeda gaf yu in_.” 2

“If you are not successful, I will be banished. Most likely executed, because that is how Nia thinks. And then both of us will be gone and that is something Polis and the _kongeda_ cannot sustain. _Ai ge souda throu daun gon ai_.” 3

Indra’s jaw muscles worked but she clamped her mouth shut.

“What of Roan?” Titus asked, deflecting the conversation. He had finished his tea and Lexa refilled his cup and he took a drink, as if needing something, anything else to do.

“If Roan is successful in taking _Azgeda_ in the next few days, then Nia may be occupied with any challenge _he_ issues _her_. And if he wins his challenge, he will then seek entrance into the _kongeda_. But if Nia remains alive, she may yet challenge him or me.” She knew, though, that if he was successful and Nia remained alive, it would only delay the inevitable.

Indra scowled.

“If I am not successful and Titus has removed the Novitiates to safety and holds an Ascension, the new _Heda_ will have to decide whether to challenge Nia or not,” Lexa said. “And if Nia cannot take the city, she will continue to war with the _kongeda_.”

“This, _Heda_ , is why you must defeat her,” Indra said, and her tone left no room for argument.

Lexa gave her a wry smile. “There are many reasons to defeat her. That is but one.” She looked at Titus. “You and Indra are the only two who I have spoken with about the Conclave like this. Both of you have those you trust in these matters, but the fewer who know, perhaps the better.”

He nodded, concern in his eyes and for a moment he looked much younger, and lost. It was not an expression Lexa was used to seeing on him.

“It is what we do,” she said, looking at Indra then him. “We prepare.”

They both murmured assent, but neither appeared happy about it.

“We will discuss this further as we learn more about Nia’s whereabouts and what Roan accomplishes.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Titus said and he stood with a nod at Indra. “ _Reshop_ , _Heda_.” He moved to the door, his dark robe making it seem as if he was gliding.

Lexa waited for him to shut the door before she addressed Indra again. “You must hold Polis,” she said.

Indra nodded. “If it comes to that, yes. This is my city, too, but I will honor your legacy and ensure that Polis remains free of Nia’s grasp and I will do what I can to ensure the continuation of the _kongeda_. There are clan leaders who may help.”

She was silent for a while, staring at her cup. “Clarke will help.” She glanced back up at her.

Indra’s brow furrowed and she sat back.

“She understands the value of the _kongeda_ , and how _Skaikru_ can benefit. She will want to maintain peace between her people and the clans.” And peace between all the clans, Lexa knew. But she didn’t voice it.

“ _Heda_ , if you do not succeed against Nia, the clans may not wish to work with _Skaikru_ any longer.”

“Clarke has defeated the mountain twice, with the help of _Skaikru_. She has taken the oath of the _kongeda_.” She held Indra’s gaze. “Make the clans trust her.”

Indra regarded her, clearly puzzled, and Lexa debated how much to tell her. She poured more tea into Indra’s cup.

“I trust Clarke,” Lexa said. “And she will work to maintain the _kongeda_ and keep Polis out of Nia’s hands.”

“ _You_ trust her?”

“ _Sha_.”

Indra shook her head and picked up her cup. “Clearly, some things have changed since I left Polis.”

You have no idea, Lexa thought and she almost laughed.

“How can you be sure of her?”

“She is _Wanheda_. She is called to leadership and service to not only her own people, but ours, now. We are bound by the _kongeda_ and she understands what that means, and the kind of threat Nia is to all of us.”

Indra was silent. She took a drink of tea then set her cup carefully on the table. “Without you, there is no _kongeda_.”

“That is why you need Clarke. She can help hold the _kongeda_ in order to preserve Polis.”

“You place a great deal of faith in her,” Indra said, skepticism in her tone. “She is not invested in Polis or in the _kongeda_.”

Lexa considered her response. “Clarke understands that alliance is valuable. _Skaikru_ needs the _kongeda_ to survive, and the _kongeda_ needs Clarke to remind them of the value in coalition.”

“Why would she do this?”

“Because she believes in the _kongeda_.” Lexa retained her patience, but sometimes Indra could test it. “And she took the oath. She will honor that oath whether it’s me or my second she deals with.”

“ _Skaikru_ ’s ways are different. She took the oath with you as witness. Without you, she has no reason to honor it.”

Lexa was silent for a few moments, tamping her temper down. “ _Skaikru_ is different in some ways, yes, but they themselves maintained a coalition in the sky. Agreements are important to them, and Clarke has thus far honored the agreements she made with me and the _kongeda_. She will continue to do so should Nia prove successful against me. Clarke understands that you are my second, and she knows that you will represent my interests. She will, therefore, work with you.” She paused. “She will do this because she knows that it will best serve _Skaikru_ and because she knows it is what I would want.”

Indra started to say something in response then clamped her mouth shut as comprehension dawned in her eyes. “ _Heda_ ,” she said, watching Lexa’s face, “is she bound to _you_?”

Her meaning was clear and Lexa hesitated. “Not formally.” Clarke had not sworn fealty to her, after all, though that might not be something _Skaikru_ did.

“Not formally?”

“No.”

“So there is no formal bond and yet you are certain she will honor agreements because you have taken her to bed? _Heda_ —”

Lexa interrupted her with a glare, something she rarely did with Indra.

“ _Oma moba_ ,”4 she said, contrite. “I am perhaps surprised at this turn of events.”

“No more than I. It is not something I thought would come to pass.”

Indra’s brow furrowed. “You have been harboring an attraction for her for a while, then?”

Lexa cleared her throat. “What does it matter?”

“Because that will tell me how serious this is.”

She didn’t respond and Indra’s expression was now a mixture of amusement and disapproval. “Perhaps you need say nothing, because I see in your eyes how much things _have_ changed since I left.”

Lexa said nothing and instead sipped her tea.

“It may not be wise for you to take a lover,” she said, and her tone had softened somewhat.

“I am aware of that.” She kept her tone level. “But it’s not relevant to a challenge from Nia. Which was the entire point of this conversation. Should I not be successful, you can trust Clarke to help you.”

Indra shook her head. “ _Heda_ , it is entirely relevant, especially if Nia discovers that there may be a relationship between you and the clan representative of _Skaikru_.”

Lexa noted her careful wording. “Should that happen, and should Nia attempt to hurt Clarke—” she hated even saying those words, “then she risks war with _Skaikru_ in addition to me and the _kongeda_. Clarke is, as you say, a clan representative and a leader in _Skaikru_. Nia would not do anything to Clarke in event of my death, because it would cause me no pain.” She nailed Indra with her gaze. “She would attempt something before a challenge, and the _kongeda_ is still intact while I live. Clarke is also _Wanheda_. And _that_ carries weight with Nia.”

Indra sat back. “Clarke’s position may provide a different sort of protection than Costia’s,” she conceded. “But _Heda_.” She frowned, though her eyes flashed with concern. “ _Klark kom Skaikru_? Really?”

She shrugged. “We don’t choose some things.”

“True, but we can choose whether to engage.”

She clenched then unclenched her teeth. “And sometimes engaging is the correct choice.”

Indra raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“There is no point to discussing this further,” Lexa said with an abrupt wave of her hand. “What you need to know is that Clarke will help you, _Trikru_ , and the _kongeda_ if I am not successful in Nia’s challenge.”

“Very well. If these are your wishes, I will honor them.”

“They are.” Lexa took another sip of her tea and they sat in silence for a while until Indra looked up at her, this time with a spark of mischief in her eyes.

“ _Hakom nou Trikru emo plan_?” 5

Lexa looked at her and shook her head. “Indra—”

“ _Heda_ , _tona meizen emo plan raun Polis_.” 6 She said it with extra innocence in her tone, deadpan, but Lexa knew her well enough to know when she joked and she fought a smile at her teasing about all the other women she could choose from.

“ _Hod op_ ,”7 she said, trying to sound stern.

“ _Ai gon ai op, bilaik tona na ses yu op_.” 8

Lexa stared at her, started to say something, then leaned back, chuckling, though she felt the heat of a blush on her cheeks.

Indra grinned, triumphant. “ _Yu nowe ai op_ , _ba_ …”9 she shrugged.

“I have no evidence of what you say. And I am not one to engage with just anyone simply because the mood strikes me.” Her tone was both a tease and a warning and it caused Indra to cock her head, surprised. She studied Lexa, and her expression shifted from the lighter mood to her usual demeanor.

“No matter Clarke’s position as a leader,” she said, “it is still dangerous for you to take a serious lover.”

“I am well aware of that, too, and it is something that I have thought about.”

“But it did not stop you from engaging.”

Lexa looked at her, another warning in her eyes.

She frowned. “You consider her a serious lover, then?”

Lexa hesitated and Indra’s eyes filled with both dread and comprehension.

“You do,” she said.

Lexa held her gaze and her silence was as much an affirmative as if she had stated such.

“Does she know your feelings toward her?”

“ _Sha_.” The image of Clarke’s reaction when Lexa swore fealty to her flashed into her mind and caused all manner of sensations and emotions to flood through her chest.

“How does she feel about you?” She had lowered her voice, as if concerned that someone might be listening.

“She cares.” And warmth rushed through her at the thought, because it still felt like a dream in some ways.

Indra frowned again. “You are certain?”

“ _Sha_.”

“But there is no formal bond.”

Lexa sipped her tea.

“Are there private bonds?”

“Possibly.”

Indra huffed and leaned back in her chair, eyes wide. “ _Heda_ , this is not safe. For either of you.”

“We know.”

She started to say something else then stopped and instead drank more tea, probably to keep herself from pushing further.

Lexa set her cup down and leaned forward and braced her elbows on the table, fingers interlaced in front of her. “ _Indra kom Trikru_ , I tell you this so that you understand why you can trust Clarke to help you with the _kongeda_ and Polis should Nia succeed in her challenge.”

She nodded.

“But I ask you, as my second-in-command, and a warrior I have been honored to serve with, that you also protect her as best you can in event of my death, should she need it.”

Indra studied Lexa’s face, her gaze piercing. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said, and Lexa heard only agreement in her tone. “I will do this, because I am honored, always, to serve you. And I see something within you that I never thought I would see again,” she admitted. “I will do as you request for that, as well.”

Lexa frowned and Indra flashed one of her rare smiles.

“I don’t understand how or why, but there is often no reason to these things, as you say. What matters is that I see through you that _Klark kom Skaikru_ has your heart, and I will help her protect it.”

She stared, touched that Indra would say something like that. “This is not the conversation I expected to have with you this night.”

“I, either,” she said, but she was smiling. “I have felt there was something different about you since you brought Clarke to Polis. I haven’t seen you in many days, so perhaps it’s more apparent to me than to others who see you every day.”

She waited.

“There is no longer sadness in your eyes.” She finished her tea and set the cup on the table. “I know it will always be dangerous for you to take a lover, but perhaps doing so has helped you, though I’m not in full agreement with your choice.”

Lexa smiled. “I know.”

“Have you told Titus?”

“No. But he suspects.”

Indra snorted. “He knows.”

Lexa laughed. “Probably.”

“And he has probably tried to warn you away.”

“Mmm,” she said, vague.

Indra rolled her eyes then became serious. “I will do what I must to ensure your safety in this matter, _Heda_ , as well as Clarke’s.”

“ _Mochof_.”

“What of your personal guards here? Have you changed them?”

“No. They are the same ones you and Balta and Titus chose. Balta and Titus chose Clarke’s, and Titus monitors all of them.”

“As he always does,” she said, satisfied. “I, too, will monitor.”

Lexa nodded. “ _Mochof_. I hope you find time to rest. The coming days will bring much news.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. As soon as I hear from my scouts, I will alert you. _Reshop_.”

“ _En yu_.”

She stood, grabbed her cloak, and left, but she didn’t shut the door. Indra was familiar with Lexa’s habits, and knew that she would leave soon after her. Lexa finished her tea, oddly relieved that Indra knew. She might serve as a foil to Titus’s disapproval, which Lexa suspected was much deeper than Indra’s. But then, Indra was more sympathetic to such matters, given her own history.

Titus never took lovers, and made it clear that he didn’t understand why such were needed. In some ways, he was probably right. Some people just didn’t feel the need, Lexa knew. She thought perhaps Costia’s death had made her more similar to Titus in that respect, but there had been times that she noticed another woman and engaged, though she generally didn’t present herself as _Heda_. The less her brief encounters knew about her, the better.

And yes, Indra was right. There were more than a few women and even men over the years since Costia’s death who had made their attractions to her obvious, but men didn’t interest her and she always wondered if all who expressed interest merely wanted a tryst with the Commander as a tale to tell, so she tended not to respond to advances as _Heda_.

There weren’t prohibitions on a Commander engaging in sex or even having long-term lovers on the side, but an established lover? Someone who shared quarters and the daily life of a Commander? That was rare, and it was why Nia had targeted Costia, because that was the role Costia had taken after Lexa’s Ascension. Better to be alone, Lexa had thought after Costia’s death, than cause someone else to suffer that. Better to be alone and protect her heart.

Until Clarke.

She wasn’t sure when exactly she realized that Clarke had breached her defenses. Perhaps it was toward the beginning, in her tent, when Clarke had said as much, that she could see right through her. Or maybe it was while watching her sleep after they escaped from the _pauna_ enclosure. Or watching Clarke think, re-think, and overthink strategy the first time they went to the mountain.

Somehow, Lexa had found it endearing, the driven, focused side of her, and the way she frowned as she considered different approaches, and sometimes chewed her lower lip as she pondered, and how she absently brushed her hair out of her face and oh, the way she walked into a room. Confident but completely oblivious to her beauty, inner and outer.

Lexa could appreciate physical appearance, but it took much more than that to interest her further. And when Clarke had entered Lexa’s tent that first time and stood before her, unwavering, even with Indra calling for her death, Lexa was indeed interested. Who was this woman, who had come to the ground, destroyed three hundred of her warriors, survived the _Maunon_ and even tried to help Anya, one who Lexa had ordered to kill her? Who was she, that she met Lexa’s gaze directly, spoke respectfully, but didn’t give quarter, and who wore a leader’s demeanor like Lexa wore hers?

Clarke was like nobody she’d ever seen or met before, and something about her resonated in that first meeting. Deeply.

“ _Heda_.”

She looked up at Balta, framed in the doorway.

“Do you require anything further?”

“No. _Mochof_.”

“Then perhaps you might rest.”

She laughed and Balta raised her eyebrows in surprise at her response. “Between you and Clarke, I don’t really have a choice.”

Balta smiled. “She has learned well.”

Lexa stood and smiled back. “Too well. And if nothing else requires my attention this night, I may just get that rest.” Besides Clarke requiring my attention, she finished silently, and heat flooded her thighs.

“ _Reshop_ , _Heda_ ,” Balta said with a nod. She stood aside for her.

“ _En yu_.” Lexa stepped into the corridor and her guards moved silently and quickly to their places around her and accompanied her to the stairwell.

  
1 _No, Indra kom Trikru_. _Ai laik Heda_. _Non na throu daun gon ai_ : No, Indra of/from _Trikru_. I’m the Commander. No one fights for me.   
2 _Ai laik yu seken. Ai badan yu op en ai na throu daun gon yu. Nia ge souda wan daun en kongeda gaf yu in_ : I am your second. I serve you and I will fight for you. Nia must be stopped and the _kongeda_ needs you.   
3 _Ai ge throu daun gon ai_ : I must fight for myself.   
4 _Oma moba_ : my apologies [“oma” is the plural of “ai”, used to designate a possessive of more than one of something]   
5 _Hakom nou Trikru emo plan_? Why not Trikru women? [Indra is teasing Lexa about choosing Clarke, and wants to know why no Trikru women caught her eye. The use of “emo” here before the noun “woman” can make it plural]   
6 _Heda_ , _tona meizen emo plan raun Polis_ : _Heda_ , [there are] many beautiful women in Polis. [Indra is still ribbing Lexa; “emo” here makes the noun “woman” plural]   
7 _Hod op_ : stop [you’ve seen this one! :D]   
8 _Ai gon ai op, bilaik tona na ses yu op_ : I have seen that many would sleep with/have sex with you. [Indra is rather crudely noting that there are lots of people Lexa could hit it with…lol.]   
9 _Yu nowe ai op_ , _ba_ …: You never see, but… [Indra teases Lexa further about not noticing all who desire her]

###

Lexa moved down the corridor to her quarters, debating whether she should disturb Clarke. They hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before—she loved the reason for that—and the ride to Polis was tiring in its own way. She worried that Clarke wouldn’t be rested for the tasks she had to deal with the next day.

The guard outside Clarke’s door gave her a nod that she returned as she steeled herself and opted instead to go into her own quarters and let Clarke get what rest she could, though she much preferred the alternative. Regardless, she said good night to her guards and stepped inside and shut the door then stood for a few moments, eyes closed, letting the day flow out of her.

She opened her eyes and inhaled deeply and exhaled. Candles glowed all around the room, casting wavering pools of light across the walls and floor and she relaxed. Her quarters were a sanctuary, and those who served closest to her understood that, and knew what matters could wait until morning and what had to be dealt with sooner. She took a few steps toward the bathroom then stopped and stared at her bed, which was occupied.

Lexa moved closer and looked down at Clarke. Her hair was spread over the pillow and her bare shoulders were exposed where the furs didn’t cover them. In sleep, her features softened and relaxed. Tonight, at least, it appeared that the ghosts Clarke still carried let her be. She watched her for a few long moments, drinking her in, tracing her form beneath the furs with her gaze, barely breathing at the reality that Clarke was here, in her bed, and all she had to do was join her.

She tore her gaze away and blew a few of the candles out near the head of the bed before she went quietly into the bathroom, where she undressed, taking extra care not to let her belt and knives make much noise. She left them and her clothing on a pile on the floor as she washed up. Her knives she carried with her to the bed, and set them gently on the floor.

“Mmm,” Clarke said, voice a little raspy with sleep. “You’d better not be wearing anything but your tattoos.”

Lexa chuckled. “ _Wanheda_ speaks.” She slid beneath the furs. “Perhaps you should check, to ensure that I followed your directive,” she teased as she moved closer, still amazed at how things had shifted to such warm, charged familiarity between them, and how even a flirtatious comment was imbued with so much more.

Clarke turned onto her side and even in the dim candlelight, her gaze seemed to smolder and a lazy, sultry smile graced her lips. “Good idea.” And she moved so that she was on top, the full length of her against Lexa, all soft skin and curves that camouflaged the muscles beneath. Lexa bit her lip and ran her hands down Clarke’s back to her ass as her thigh slipped easily between Clarke’s, and she was only too aware of how ready Clarke already was.

“Well done,” Clarke whispered as she nuzzled her neck. “ _Heda_ follows directives.”

“Where you’re concerned, _sha_.” She groaned as Clarke cupped her breast and stroked her nipple with her thumb in light circles even as her lips moved along her jaw to her mouth and Lexa was sure she would never get tired of kissing her, or of her touch, or the way she sounded when she flirted. Clarke’s thigh pushed against her center and she smiled against Lexa’s lips.

“Somebody might have missed me,” she said as she moved her thigh against her wetness.

“Mmm.” Lexa tightened her grip around Clarke and in one smooth motion rolled them both over and kicked the furs aside. They ended up with Lexa on top, her thigh between Clarke’s, her hands braced on either side of Clarke’s head. She stared down into her eyes, and Clarke smiled again, surprise and desire in her expression. It made Lexa ache, made every part of her flare to attention.

“We have unfinished business,” Lexa said with a quick smile of her own and Clarke ran her hands up her arms to her shoulders, her fingers leaving delicious chills in their wake.

“And I’m waiting. Rather impatiently.”

Lexa chuckled and put an end to further commentary. She took her time at first, mapping Clarke with her hands and lips, tasting virtually every inch of her neck and shoulders before she moved her attention to her breasts and Clarke moaned and arched against her, her fingers digging into her back, her thighs gripping Lexa’s hips. Lexa moved lower, kissing down her abdomen and Clarke’s hands were in her hair and her breath came in short bursts and Lexa’s arousal soared at how Clarke responded to her.

She repositioned herself between Clarke’s thighs and groaned and shuddered at the contact and Clarke pulled her into a kiss that melted every coherent thought and left her breathless. Clarke sucked on her lower lip and Lexa felt her move, as if she was trying to flip them over again and she caught Clarke’s wrists and pinned her hands against the bed.

Clarke raised her eyebrows and another sultry smile pulled at her lips. “Is this pushy _Heda_? Because I might like her.”

She smiled back. “Patience, _Klark kom Skaikru_.” She kissed her again, keeping her hands pinned, and Clarke gasped as Lexa moved slowly against her.

“Lexa—” Clarke said against her mouth as her hips bucked and Lexa smiled and released her wrists then moved her own hands down Clarke’s torso, slowly over her breasts, drawing chills from Clarke’s skin and another groan from her lips.

She followed her hands with her lips and tongue, and Clarke writhed and moaned softly as Lexa worked her way down, senses full of her, of the faint taste of salt in the sweat on her chest, of the smell of the soap she had used earlier that day, of the sweet, heady tang of desire. And she carried the aroma of what Lexa knew of the sky, of the cool, open, expanse of neverending blue, and it all wrapped around her like one of Clarke’s embraces, like the way she sometimes looked at her.

Lexa pushed her thighs apart and circled her with her tongue and Clarke tangled her hands in her hair and moaned again, which was all the encouragement she needed and she gripped Clarke’s thighs and brought her slowly and teasingly to a razor’s edge of release. And then she stopped, the taste of her clinging to her mouth, and Clarke trembled and hissed between her teeth and Lexa slid two fingers into her heat, and her groan echoed Clarke’s as Clarke thrust against her. She braced herself with her other hand and stared down at her, and Clarke arched against her and gripped her shoulders almost painfully but she stared back, and as release flooded through her, she managed to cup Lexa’s cheek, and then her eyes closed and she fell back with a long, low moan and Lexa’s name on her lips.

Clarke shuddered with a few aftershocks but Lexa didn’t relent and soon coaxed her close to another peak but this time Clarke worked her fingers between them and when she entered her, Lexa almost collapsed. She barely managed to keep her arm braced on the bed as Clarke increased the speed of her thrusts and kissed her hard and Lexa’s breath caught in her throat and all she could do was ride the sensations coursing through her like waves crashing onto a beach, and it was almost too much, too deep, too overpowering, and somewhere she heard what might have been a sob.

“Lexa. Look at me.”

She opened her eyes, realizing the sob was hers, and found, amidst the clash of intimacy and vulnerability that roiled within, safety and warmth in Clarke’s eyes.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke’s, breathing heavily. “I know,” she said, and Clarke brushed a kiss over her lips.

“Stay with me,” she said softly, stroking Lexa’s cheek with her free hand.

She nodded and smiled. “Always.”

Clarke’s eyes filled with things unspoken and what might have been tears and she started moving her fingers again, slowly, and Lexa relaxed with her, matching her strokes to Clarke’s, until she felt the waves gather again, and saw them mirrored in Clarke’s eyes. She locked her gaze with Clarke’s, and then she crested and they were both falling, and Clarke pulled her into a hot, messy kiss on the way down and pushed her tongue into Lexa’s mouth and they shared a groan as Lexa collapsed against her.

Clarke held her close as their breathing returned to normal, and Lexa calmed even more, listening to Clarke’s heartbeat, shivering a little at her light touch as she drew patterns on her back with her fingertips. After a while, she carefully withdrew and Clarke did the same and Lexa wrapped herself around her and pressed her lips gently against Clarke’s neck.

“I like this beginning we have,” Clarke said with a soft laugh.

Lexa smiled and nuzzled her neck.

“No, actually, I love it.” She kissed Lexa’s forehead.

Lexa propped herself on her elbow and studied Clarke’s face in the flickering light of the few candles still burning near the bed. “As do I.”

Clarke started to say something then stopped and pulled her into a long, sweet, slow kiss and Lexa melted into it, let herself get lost in it, and made a noise of protest as Clarke pulled away.

“Not to worry, _Heda_ ,” Clarke said with a smirk. “Because it’s my turn. Provided that’s all right with you.” And she pushed Lexa onto her back, straddled her hips, and pinned her wrists to the furs.

Lexa arched an eyebrow. “ _Sha_ ,” she said with an answering smirk and Clarke’s smile lit another fire between Lexa’s thighs, sent heat shooting up her back.

“ _Heda_ is very wise."

“So is _Wanheda_.”

Clarke kept her pinned and leaned down and nipped at her neck. “Shhh,” she said “No more talking.”

And there wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! Okay, so, I wanted to leave you with some more Clexa because...Clexa. Also, I rather like figuring out how they express themselves with each other privately and navigate physical interactions as they get more comfortable with each other. We didn't get to really see that in the show, but that's what fanfic reboots are for! WOOO! REALLY hope you enjoy the scene between them here. I sweated this one, too. I always worry that I'm not doing them justice.
> 
> And yeah, Lexa also prepares for the worst in terms of Nia. But that's how she is. Always thinking ahead, taking all kinds of contingencies into consideration. Neither Titus nor Indra are pleased about the thought of Lexa possibly losing to Nia in a challenge, but they understand Lexa's prepping.
> 
> Okay, I'm on the road next week and most likely will not be posting. :( But look for another chapter or two the week after, around the 27th-28th. We might get lucky before that, but most likely around then.
> 
> And thank you SO MUCH for all the kudos and comments. I try to respond ASAP. you can also find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com). Ask me anything over there. :D
> 
> A few songs that accompanied me while writing this chapter: Gemini, "Feel at Home"; Shy Girls, "Trivial Motion"; Satellite Mode, "Surface"


	54. The Bonds We Forge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a bit more bonding time then Balta tells Clarke a few things before Clarke has to go and deal with some _natrona_.

The candles that still burned cast light and shadows across the bed. Lexa was on her side and Clarke, propped on her elbow, trailed her fingers along the tattoo that ran down the center of her back, almost the length of her spine, a vertical line, like a pole, that was made up of delicate script-like characters and details. Several black circles of different sizes were positioned near the bottom, on either side. The top of it was another large circle, not filled in, with two vertical lines that slashed its right side.

It looked surprisingly modern, like a diagram that might be seen on the Ark, but also ancient, like something off a temple. Very different from the tattoos on her right arm and leg, with their heavy, dramatic black outlines and geometric symmetry.

Lexa made a contented noise and Clarke smiled at this languid and sated side to her, after however many hours they’d just spent engaged in far more energetic pursuits. Even thoughts of that, so recent, caused heat to gather again, deep within.

“Is _Klark kom Skaikru_ perhaps going to add my tattoo to her collection of paintings?” she asked, and Clarke smiled again at her relaxed, sleepy voice.

“Maybe. What does it mean?” She traced it again.

“Each circle represents a member of my Conclave who died.”

“How many people in a Conclave die before a Commander Ascends?”

Lexa didn’t say anything for a while and Clarke didn’t push her, just continued her visual and tactile worship of her back. The lines of the tattoo were overlaid with a few scars that looked like they were probably caused by sharp blades and Clarke wondered if Lexa even remembered the stories behind them, since so many decorated her skin. Her gaze traveled down Lexa’s back, over muscle and scars, and she wondered, too, if Lexa had any idea how breathtakingly beautiful she was, especially unclothed, though clothed she could stop a room full of conversations with her physical appearance alone, even without the quiet force of her personality.

“Usually all but the one who Ascends,” she said.

Clarke frowned. “You mean you have to kill everyone in the Conclave before you can even Ascend?”

“Usually.”

She didn’t push on that, since she recognized the slight hardening of Lexa’s tone that came with something she didn’t wish to discuss. “I thought there were nine in your Conclave. Shouldn’t there be eight circles?”

“Two of us did not die. One never wanted to be _Heda_. She escaped.”

Clarke waited for her to elaborate and finally, Lexa sighed.

“Your not asking is almost as loud as asking,” she said, but Clarke heard the note of teasing in her tone. “The one who escaped never believed in violence as a way to achieve one’s ends. She feels that the Conclave should change, and rather than fight to the death, allow the Novitiates who are defeated in battle to live and choose whatever life they wish, whether continuing to serve with the one who Ascends, or to serve elsewhere.”

“That might not be a bad idea.” Clarke kissed her shoulder. “That way you already have people who have been through Conclave training to step up to become Commander.”

“Mmm. But there will always be those who plot against the Commander. That’s why Novitiates battle to the death, because it could be dangerous for a Commander should there be a _Natblida_ with Conclave training who does not Ascend but yet wishes to. Or who seeks revenge for not doing so.”

Clarke traced the circles of the tattoo, thinking about the traditions and beliefs of those on the ground and how, in some ways, they weren’t that different than some of the things that had happened on the Ark. “Do you know what happened to her? The one who escaped?”

“She is _heda_ of _Floukru_.”

“Luna?” Clarke’s finger stopped moving on Lexa’s back.

“ _Sha_.”

“And you don’t worry that she’ll challenge you?”

“No. That is not her way.”

“Do others know what happened?”

“Some. But not many. It would be dangerous for her, if too many know she is _Natbilda_ who left the Conclave.”

“If she doesn’t believe in violence, how is she _heda_ of a clan?”

“ _Floukru_ is different. They often don’t involve themselves in battles or the affairs of the other clans. Unless Luna thinks it necessary to prevent something worse.”

“And she has people like Atlan to do that.” Clarke decided that Lexa’s back was a work of art, with or without a tattoo, and she wanted to see it every chance she got.

“ _Sha_.”

“How old were you, when you were brought to the Conclave?”

“Perhaps five summers.”

“But what about your parents? Didn’t they want you at home at that age?”

“My mother brought me to Titus.”

Clarke stopped stroking her back and leaned over her to look at her profile. “Your mother gave you to the Conclave when you were five?”

“ _Sha_. When a child is _Natblida_ , it is considered duty for the family to ensure the child joins the Conclave.”

“Does that always happen, though?”

“No,” she admitted. “Sometimes a family will hide its _Natblida_ from the _Fleimkepa_.”

“And who could blame them, since apparently only one survives each Conclave.” She traced Lexa’s neck with her lips.

“Mmm. I will concede your point,” Lexa said as she repositioned herself to give Clarke better access. “But other families consider it a great honor to send a _Natblida_ to the Conclave.”

“Did your mother?”

“My mother was herself _Natblida_.”

Clarke stopped kissing Lexa’s neck at this revelation. “But she wasn’t in a Conclave.”

“No. There was another—my mother’s older brother—who was also _Natblida_. He was given to a Conclave, but did not Ascend.”

In other words, he did not survive.

“You’re saying that the… _Sheidjus_ is passed through families?” She stared down at Lexa’s face.

“In some cases. Titus said that it does seem to cluster sometimes, in certain families. My mother’s parents did not reveal that she was _Natblida_ , since they’d already given one child. Titus told me that my mother approached him about placing me in the Conclave. She told him that I would be _Heda_. He said she was convinced of it.”

“Smart woman.”

Lexa smiled. “She trained me a bit before she brought me. She was good with knives.”

“Well, then, we know where you got _that_ skill.” Clarke pressed her lips to Lexa’s shoulder, secretly reveling in these little details about her life, though she was also intrigued about the Nightblood aspect.

She chuckled. “My mother also started teaching me to read and speak English. But I don’t know for certain how it was that she had learned it, except that her father was a warrior and may have taught her. I didn’t know him. He died before I was born.”

“What about _your_ father?”

“He was a farmer, mostly. I don’t remember him very well, as I spent most of my time with my mother and Costia’s family.”

“Did you have any sisters or brothers?” Clarke again nuzzled her neck.

“No. I don’t think my mother was able to have children after me, but I don’t know if that was a choice she made or if she was unable to have more.” She was quiet for a while. “Titus told me that he discovered my mother was _Natblida_ when she died.”

“Do you think she may have tried to keep it secret from your father?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps. He must not have been present at my birth if that’s the case, because it would’ve been obvious, then.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died not long after I entered the Conclave.”

“And your mother?”

“Family are not allowed much access, if any. I did not see her after I was placed in the Conclave, but Titus said she visited with him after she placed me, and then she died before I Ascended.”

Clarke again stroked her hip, thinking about how different they were in that regard. Lexa barely had relationships with her parents before circumstances dictated otherwise. “Do you miss them?”

Lexa rolled onto her back and regarded her and Clarke fell immediately into her eyes, unable to breathe. She was sure she’d never seen anything as beautiful as Lexa nude, the candlelight both emphasizing and somehow softening the lines of muscles in her shoulders and chest. “Sometimes, perhaps,” she said, and Clarke focused on her lips, then. “But I think I miss what I never had with them rather than missing them personally, since I never got the chance to know them very well.” She ran her fingertip along Clarke’s jaw. “You are perhaps fortunate in that regard, with your parents, because you knew them both.”

“You may be right, as insane as my mother currently makes me.”

Lexa responded by pulling her into a slow, deep kiss and Clarke forgot what they’d been talking about and when Lexa finally stopped, all she could do was stare at her.

She ran her fingers down Lexa’s arm and leaned in to kiss her neck, loving the taste and smell of her skin, which was mixed with her own. Another round of delightful chills shot through her chest and stomach at the memories and images of the past two nights and she slid her arm around her waist and burrowed against her.

Lexa squeezed her hand and made another contented noise and Clarke’s breath caught in her throat at this new familiarity between them. How many more nights like this could she have and was it presumptuous to even ask? And what exactly did it mean? What exactly were her feelings for her, for this woman who occupied her every waking thought, who kept the ghosts at bay at night, and who had a place in her heart in spite of her resistance?

And oh, how Clarke had resisted. From the first time she’d met her. Nothing good could come from an attraction to the Commander of the Grounder clans, she’d told herself. Even worse might come from stronger feelings.

She’d been right, in some respects.

But so, so wrong in others. And now here she was, wrapped around her, more at peace than she’d perhaps ever been, when she found this missing part of herself within a woman born to the earth. She blinked, surprised that tears flooded her eyes.

Lexa gently pulled her close, as if she knew her thoughts and the emotions that crashed through them. Clarke immediately relaxed against her, head on her shoulder, arm across her stomach, thigh over one of hers. Lexa stroked Clarke’s head with one hand and her forearm with the other, where it lay across her abdomen.

“ _Nou get yu daun_ ,”1 Lexa said softly against her forehead and Clarke smiled.

“ _Hakom yu biyo dison_?” 2

“ _Ai get in chit yu ste fig raun_.” 3

“Oh?” Clarke drew patterns on her hip with her fingertip. “What would that be?”

“You worry that our roles with our respective clans may keep us apart.”

“Don’t you?”

Lexa was quiet for a while, and her fingers moved up and down her back, stroking, soothing. “Not about that. I worry that I will cause you pain again somehow.”

“We’ve discussed that and I’ve already told you my thoughts on it. Why don’t you worry that we’ll be kept apart?”

“Because, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , I am _Heda_.” Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the candlelight and Clarke snorted.

“And?”

Lexa chuckled.

“Is this the annoying _Heda_ , now? Because I might have to have words with her.”

“You might like her, as well.”

“Fine. But I still don’t know why I shouldn’t worry.”

“Patience,” she said, and she kissed her. “It is not forbidden for a Commander to have lovers. We are human, after all. But as in all things, there are politics we must observe.” She kissed her again. “Yes, there may be difficulty. But I am _Heda_.” She grinned and Clarke laughed.

“Fine. I’ll try not to worry. About that, anyway.” She yawned and snuggled against her. “Does that offer still stand? About your quarters?”

“ _Sha_. _Otaim_.” 4 Lexa continued to gently stroke her back and Clarke sighed, a mixture of relief and happiness, and drifted to sleep.

 

1 _Nou get yu daun_ : Don’t worry [you’ve seen this one…]  
2 _Hakom yu biyo dison_? Why do you say that?  
3 _Ai get in chit yu ste fig raun_ : I know what you’re thinking  
4 _Otaim_ : always [you’ve seen this one]

 

###

Sunlight woke her up, and from the angle, she knew it was early in the morning. She stretched her arm out, seeking Lexa, but she was no longer in bed. Clarke sat up, wondering how she had managed to sleep through Lexa getting up, especially since she now heard her in the bathroom. She flopped back down, glad to know Lexa hadn’t left, and in fact she appeared a few moments later, fully dressed in tight black trousers and a black shirt, with her hair braided, but no facepaint. She had already buckled on some of her light armor. And Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off her.

When Lexa saw that she was awake, she leaned down and kissed her. And kept kissing her. Clarke slid her arms around her neck and held on as all sorts of chills raced up and down her thighs.

“If you don’t want to end up back in this bed, you’d better stop now,” Clarke said against her mouth.

“Mmm. The problem is that I do. Unfortunately, I am always _Heda_.” She lightly bit down on Clarke’s lower lip, which caused Clarke to open her eyes with surprise and, she wasn’t ashamed to admit to herself, lust. Lexa grinned and straightened. “I have a few things to attend to before we visit the _natrona_. Are you prepared to do that today?”

She meant was Clarke ready to conduct official business in terms of rendering a judgment. The thought was incongruous with the night they’d just shared, but Clarke fell easily into the role. “After we get some information from them, yes.”

“My thoughts as well.”

“What were they told?”

“That they were being brought to Polis to face judgment from the _Skaikru_ representative.”

“Have you met them?”

“No.”

“But they mentioned the City of Light when they were captured.”

“Yes.”

That would be part of the information she sought. “What else do I say in a situation like this?”

“There is no precedent for a _Skaikru_ banishment. So you will set it.”

Clarke stared at her. “Seriously?”

She leaned down and kissed her again. “Clarke, you are _Wanheda_. You’ll find the right words. You always do.” She cupped her cheek and her palm was warm and Clarke wanted her to say her name again, because she loved how it rolled off her tongue.

“What does _Trikru_ say in situations like this?”

“We say why the punishment is banishment, and we say what banishment means. It’s lifelong, though it can be revoked by _Heda_ should she decide such is appropriate.” Her lips were dangerously close to Clarke’s, and she wore that damned half-smile that made Clarke want to do less-than-appropriate things to her.

“You trust that I won’t mess this up?”

She brushed her lips against Clarke’s. “You won’t.” She smiled, put her belt on, and adjusted her knives before she took her sword harness off its hook and shrugged into it. Clarke threw the furs aside and got out of bed. Lexa raised an eyebrow and her gaze swept Clarke’s naked form, her expression a mixture of awe and desire.

“Let me,” Clarke said as she fastened the straps. “I’ve watched you enough to see how it works.”

Lexa smirked. “Oh?”

“Plus, I’ve taken it off you, too. Or does _Heda_ forget that?”

“Never.”

She smiled and checked the last buckle before she kissed her, and there was something really sexy about being completely nude in Lexa’s arms, pressed against her when she was clothed and in Commander mode.

“I’ve watched you quite a bit,” Clarke said when she pulled away. “Clearly, I’m good at it, since you didn’t seem to notice.” She ran her thumb over Lexa’s bottom lip. “Though it’s probably because you don’t let yourself.”

Her gaze softened, and Clarke stared, again, at the almost otherworldly green of her eyes before Lexa kissed her for a few delicious moments.

“I—” Lexa softly cleared her throat and Clarke chuckled at her effort to keep her gaze on her face.

“Yes?” She smiled and ran her tongue over her own bottom lip flirtatiously.

Lexa cleared her throat again. “Just—you.” She kissed her gently on the forehead then reached for her swords. She slid them into place and there was something sexy about that, too, and Clarke wondered if it was a bad thing, how much she was currently objectifying the Commander of the clans. Though from the look in Lexa’s eyes as she raked her gaze down Clarke’s body again, she clearly wasn’t alone in her feelings.

“You can trust the guards outside my quarters and yours,” Lexa said, and Clarke interpreted that to mean that they knew a bit about the situation between the two of them and would not reveal it. That was a relief.

“Balta will bring you a meal this morning and she will take you to the _natrona_ when it is time,” Lexa added. She brushed another light kiss over Clarke’s lips, leaving tingles in its wake. “Do as you wish until then.” She pulled slowly away.

“Lexa.”

She stopped at the door and waited.

“You are always welcome in my quarters, too.”

Lexa shot her one last heated glance from the door before she stepped into the corridor. She stared after her a few moments, then dressed in her clothing from the previous day before she straightened the furs on the bed, as if that would somehow convince people that they’d spent an entirely chaste night together. Clarke almost laughed out loud.

She left Lexa’s quarters and went to her own, giving the guards quick nods. They nodded back, expressions devoid of emotion. Lexa had spent a few nights in Clarke’s quarters the last time she was in Polis, and these same guards had been on duty then, too. Knowing Lexa, she probably made sure that the ones who served outside her quarters got extra screening. Maybe what was happening between them was an open secret after all, and something that was known but not discussed.

She wished _Skaikru_ would handle it like that. She hated to think what Abby would say if she knew. Bellamy would probably not be pleased, either. Raven might be okay with it, and Kane actually might be, as well, but for the most part, _Skaikru_ would probably not be amenable to the evolving circumstances of her relationship with Lexa.

Clarke bathed and as she dried off, she smiled for probably the thousandth time that morning, glad that the marks Lexa had left on her the past two nights weren’t visible when clothed. She ran her hand over her abdomen, fingers trailing over the marks there. Others decorated her chest above her breasts and she knew she probably had a few on her back. Like Lexa, she had been careful with the marks she herself had left on the Commander—also out of sight when clothed—and she continued to smile as she dressed, wondering if Lexa thought about them as she had gotten dressed, and how she felt about Clarke putting them there, like she was marking her territory somehow.

Which was ridiculous. Lexa was nobody’s territory but her own. Still, Clarke liked knowing that Lexa bore evidence of their interactions beneath her clothing and she liked seeing it on her own skin. She tucked her shirt—a light tan—into her dark pants just as a knock sounded at the door.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” she said as she left the bathroom.

Balta came in carrying a tray of food that she set on the table. She wore dark trousers, boots, and a loose blouse the cover of spring leaves. Clarke sat down out of habit of dealing with Balta, who expected one to eat when she provided food. She hurriedly pulled her socks and boots on.

“ _Heda_ has instructed me to bring you to the _natrona kom Skaikru_ once she has completed other tasks this morning,” Balta said as she poured tea into a cup.

“ _Em don tel ai op seintaim_. _Mochof gon dina_.” 5

Balta smiled as she set bread, freshly cooked meat, and sliced root vegetables out. “Is there anything you would like to do before I take you to the _natrona_?”

She tore off a piece of bread. “Do you think it might be a good idea to meet some of the other clan representatives that I haven’t, yet?”

“Yes. Atlan is going to serve as a witness this day when you issue the banishment. She may wish to speak with you before that.” Balta gave her an innocent look and Clarke knew she was hinting that this would provide a good cover reason to visit with clan representatives. “Once you have eaten, I can take you.”

“ _Chof_.” She took a drink of tea and Balta began to remove some of the candle stubs from their various holders around the room so she could replace them.

Clarke created an openface sandwich and chewed, appreciating again the flavors of the spices Grounders used in their food. She swallowed, watching Balta’s quick, efficient movements with her knife. “I’m hoping to bring a few more _Skaikru_ to Polis,” she said. “To learn more about the clans and about how to survive on the ground. And maybe you and some others would be interested in going to Arkadia.”

Balta finished with the candle stub she was working on before she responded. “I like this idea. I suggested it to _Heda_ after you left for _Maun-de_.”

“Well, _you_ were optimistic that we’d succeed, weren’t you?” Clarke said with a smile between swallows.

She shrugged. “In the time I have spent with you, I have learned to trust that you will find a way to accomplish what you seek to do.” She set the candle stubs on the edge of the table and set to work on another, this one in a holder near the balcony doors. “ _Heda_ _don get daun_. _Ai don gaf in bilaik_ _sis em ou_.” 6

“So you suggested plans for after the mountain.” It touched her, that Lexa worried about her, but she hated that she had.

Balta flashed her a smile. “ _Sha_.”

“Did it help her?”

“Perhaps. I know what helped her more was receiving word from the _Skaikru_ at _Maun-de_ who were helping. And I know what helped her the most was when she saw with her own eyes that you were alive.”

“Did she tell you that?”

“No. But I know _Heda_ very well.” She got the stub off the holder and put that one, too, on the table and set to work on another. Clarke watched her as she ate.

“I think I will tell you some things, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Balta said as she finished removing another candle stub.

Clarke stopped eating and devoted her full attention to her.

“I have known _Heda_ a long time, even before I was apprentice healer to her Conclave.” She began work on another stub. “I am not from the same village, but Costia was a daughter of my mother’s sister, and our mothers spent much time together.”

Clarke stared at her.

“Costia and I were close, but I was older, and Costia was closer to Lexa beause they were nearer in age. They were friends before Lexa’s mother brought her to the Conclave, and as they grew, Costia and her family would spend time in Polis. Costia came to serve as a junior in the tower guard. She was an archer, and very good at it.” She was silent for a moment, as if deciding what to say next and it occurred to Clarke that this was the first time she had ever heard Balta call Lexa by her name.

She looked back at Clarke. “Those of us in Costia’s family and a few who knew Lexa also knew when they had moved beyond friendship. It happened a few weeks before Lexa’s Ascension, even though both knew that Lexa might not have survived to Ascend.”

And how that probably hurt, Clarke thought, knowing that the person you cared about most might be taken from you.

“Neither spoke publicly of their relationship, because Costia understood what it meant, even while Lexa was still in the Conclave. And Lexa has not ever really spoken of her feelings, though I often see them in her eyes. Few are able to, because she is very good at hiding her emotions. After Costia died, she worked even harder to hide them. To some, she is like the walls of the tower. Unbreachable.” Balta smiled, but it was sad. “It serves her well when dealing with the clans and her enemies. But it does not when dealing with those she cares about.”

Clarke swallowed, and her throat was tight.

“Because she is _Heda_ , Lexa must always consider the needs of her people in every decision she makes. But when she truly cares about someone, she will find a way to balance the two. And sometimes, she will choose to burden herself rather than those she cares about, and rather than her people. I think you know this about her.”

She nodded.

“You understand this because it is something you, as well, must carry.” Balta brought a handful of candle stubs to the table and added them to the pile. “It was difficult for _Heda_ after Costia died. And because she is _Heda_ , she can never show weakness. Her enemies would use it against her.”

“She had to grieve alone,” Clarke said, and her heart ached for her, for the young woman who came to power only to lose someone she loved soon after.

“Not entirely, but she did not wish to burden others with her pain. And she was new to leadership and could not afford to show weakness. Leaders are held to much higher standards than those of us who are not in those positions.” Balta studied her for a moment. “After Costia’s death, _Heda_ became even more like the walls of the tower, which again served her well as she created the _kongeda_ and forced warring factions into it. Her grief gave her focus, but at a price.”

She didn’t speak for a few moments and Clarke shared the silence with her.

“ _Heda_ blamed herself for Costia’s death. She believed, for a long while, that the price she had to pay for that was to be alone. Because of what happened to Costia, _Heda_ did not consider herself deserving of another’s care or love, no matter her skills as a leader or what she has done for not only _Trikru_ but all the clans.”

“She still blames herself,” Clarke said quietly, remembering the hard exterior Lexa presented at first meeting, but how Clarke saw much more in her eyes after she’d spent some time around her.

“In some ways. But in others, she has made peace with what happened. And that is why I tell you these things now.” Her gaze drilled into Clarke’s. “ _Heda_ has come to care about you, _Klark kom Skaikru_. It is not something she may have wanted initially—” she flashed Clarke a smile, “but she has also learned that some things she cannot fight.”

Clarke sat, frozen, the import of Balta’s words hitting her like a plunge into a cold lake.

“I believe the same can be said about how you have come to care about her.” Balta smiled again and Clarke heard the gentle tease in her voice.

She offered a wry smile in return. “Is it that obvious?”

Balta chuckled. “Only to those who know _Heda_ well. I cannot say whether _Skaikru_ has noticed any changes in _you_ , however.” She sheathed her knife.

“Maybe.” She sighed. “I wasn’t looking for something like this to happen. Please understand that.” She rubbed her forehead, uncertain what to say or do in the wake of Balta’s observation.

“Neither was _Heda_.”

“After all, it’s dangerous for her. For both of us.”

“True. But many things are. She is not the first Commander to care about someone. Nor is it forbidden for Commanders to enjoy sex or love.”

Clarke’s ears burned and she reached for her tea.

“It merely requires greater discretion than what is expected of others.” Humor and warmth sparked in her eyes. “And also greater commitment, because many things that a Commander must do require great risk and _Heda_ will not want to cause you pain.”

“We’ve had that conversation.”

Balta nodded in approval and Clarke was silent for a while, thinking.

“If it’s okay for a Commander to…engage in sex and have love interests,” Clarke said, “has a Commander ever taken, um, a more permanent lover?”

“ _Sha_. It is rare, but it has happened. And because you are a leader in _Skaikru_ , there will be those who think _Heda_ will favor _Skaikru_ because of that.”

Clarke frowned. She was worried about that, too, though she hadn’t brought it up with Lexa.

“But there are also others who will see it as advantageous for _Heda_ to be bonded to a _Skaikru_ leader, especially _Wanheda_.”

She finished her tea, but didn’t feel like eating anymore. “How dangerous is it for her, to do that?”

Balta’s expression was enigmatic. “The life of a Commander is always dangerous. As _Heda_ , she will consider many different things in such a decision. And because of who she is, she will consider the danger to the woman she cares about. She will not allow that woman to bear the burdens the life of a Commander brings if she thinks they are too heavy.” Balta began replacing the candle stubs with candles from one of the shelves below Clarke’s art supplies.

Clarke got up and went onto the balcony, warm in the morning sun, and it felt good on her skin. Below, the city lived and breathed, pulsing with color and sound, and she watched the streams of people and carts on their way to the markets, and she thought about Lexa taking her among the people before Kane arrived. Watching her that day made her realize that she could no longer fight her feelings, and that she no longer wanted to.

And when Lexa had sworn fealty to her, she knew what that meant, but she also knew, in the back of her mind, that Lexa would not willingly endanger her and if Lexa had to give up parts of their relationship to ensure her safety, she would. She gripped the railing, frustrated. Lexa would think it was for Clarke’s own good, if she made that choice, and that she was doing the right thing, when it would be the worst thing for both of them.

Balta joined her, but said nothing.

“She’ll always worry about me,” Clarke said softly.

“Yes. It’s what we do when we care about others.”

“But she’ll try to protect me.”

“Yes.”

Lexa had said that it would never change, that she had sworn fealty to her. It occurred to her that saying that and meaning it didn’t necessarily involve staying, if she thought Clarke was at risk for staying.

“Listen to me, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

She turned, and Balta’s gaze was as sharp as one of Lexa’s swords.

“I tell you these things about _Heda_ so that you understand why she may say or do things that will push you away. It is because she cares, though it isn’t always the right thing for her to do.”

Clarke half-smiled. “You and I agree on that.”

“Good. Because _Heda_ can be stubborn.”

“I’m _Wanheda_. I can be even more stubborn.”

Balta chuckled. “I have seen this. It may be part of what draws _Heda_ to you. She appreciates strength, especially when used appropriately.”

“Why are you telling me these things?” She turned toward her.

“In some ways, _Heda_ is my family, and it pleases me that you have come to care about her.”

“I have. And I do.” More than she really knew how to put into words. “But I’m not _Trikru_ ,” she added, almost apologetic.

“Which is indeed most unfortunate for you,” she said with a sly smile and Clarke raised her eyebrows. “But it does not matter,” Balta continued. “We feel what we feel. Clan ties do not necessarily determine who we are drawn to.”

“But this is _Heda_ we’re talking about. Would it be better for her if I were _Trikru_?”

“No one can say and it does not matter, since you are not. In some ways, perhaps it is better that you are not. Politics are not just confined to the tower,” she said, tone wry.

Clarke could appreciate that. And who knew how many people in _Trikru_ had been vying for Lexa’s attention over the years, just because she was _Heda_? No doubt they still did. That thought made her stomach hurt a little.

She gazed out over the city, and another silence filled the air between them, but Clarke had found that most silences with Grounders were never uncomfortable. Rather, they were reflective.

“She cares about you,” Balta said after a while. “Very much.”

“It’s mutual.” Clarke sighed but smiled. “ _So_ mutual.”

Balta chuckled. “I know.”

She looked at her. “How do _you_ feel about this?”

The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Balta’s mouth. “I encouraged it.”

 _That_ took her by surprise and it must have shown on her face because Balta laughed.

“I still do. _En nou, Klark kom Skaikru_ , _oso souda gon we_. _Yu dula bitam op_.” 7 She squeezed her shoulder and went back inside, leaving Clarke to stare after her for a few moments before she, too, left the balcony, glad that Balta was an ally.

While Balta cleaned the table, Clarke put her belt on and sheathed her knives. Balta approved, from her expression, and Clarke finger-combed her hair and waited as Balta opened the door and beckoned someone in. A servant entered and he picked up the tray Balta had left on the table, nodding at Clarke. She smiled at him before he left and he smiled back. He reminded her of Zander and she made a mental note to ask Lexa about him and Niylah.

She followed Balta into the corridor and to the lift, two guards automatically accompanying them, and they descended to the floor where most of the clan representatives stayed, and the corridor here was filled with a variety of servants and warriors who were probably part of the various entourages of their respective clan representatives. Some stood talking to each other while others moved quickly from room to room, probably engaged in errands.

Balta stopped at one of the open doors. Clarke peered past her and saw that the room beyond mimicked the small conference room Lexa liked to use, with its large table. The room was flooded with daylight from what Clarke assumed were balcony doors. Balta motioned her in. Five people including Atlan sat at the table chatting, a scatter of plates and cups between them. Clarke recognized Gani and Ferris as well, but she didn’t know the other two except by sight from the _kongeda_ ceremony.

One was a young black man who sat facing her. His head was shaved and tattooed with geometric shapes and his eyes, a pale blue, assessed her in that way Grounders had. Nothing personal. Just a quick but calculating appraisal. She knew it would probably be accurate. He wore a deep red shirt and a dark leather vest over it.

The other, a lighter-compected woman, turned to look at her, dark eyes giving her the same onceover her companion’s had. She reminded Clarke a little of Anya in facial structure, though her hair was much lighter and involved a mixture of braids and dreadlocks.

Atlan nodded at them. Her dark hair fell around her shoulders in a complicated pattern of braids today, interwoven with black feathers. The way her hair was styled pulled it back from her forehead, and Clarke noticed a thin pink scar that ran from above her left eye to her hairline above her right. For the first time, Clarke also noticed the top of a tattoo at the base of Atlan’s throat, but her shirt covered most of it. “Ah. Balta brings _Klark kom Skaikru_ with her.”

Clarke gave each a respectful nod and waited for Balta to take the lead in the conversation. She did.

“As you no doubt are aware, Clarke is the _Skaikru_ clan representative. I do not believe you have been formally introduced.” She caught the young man’s gaze and he stood.

“ _Ai laik Garret kom_ _Boudalan Kru_ ,”8 he said in a soft, melodious tenor.

Rock Line clan, Clarke automatically categorized, glad she’d thought to ask Lincoln about the clans. She gave him a nod and the woman stood and faced her.

“ _Ai laik Emi kom Louwoda Kliron_.” 9 Her voice was low and husky, which reminded her even more of Anya.

Shallow Valley clan. Clarke gave her a nod as well.

 _“Yu laik Wanheda_ ,”10 Emi said.

“ _Sha_.”

She gave Clarke another onceover. “ _Maun-de don hon tona ai kru_. _Mochof, gon don teik du daun_.” 11

She nodded. “ _Maun-de don hon tona oso kru_. _Mochof, gon don sis au_.” 12 A flicker of a smile played at the corners of Garret’s mouth. Ferris threw an approving glance at Atlan, who gave a barely perceptible nod to Balta. Grounders often said just as much with body language as with spoken, whether subtle or overt, and Clarke had become pretty good at catching the communication that occurred between words.

“ _Yu na ban natrona kom Skaikru deyon au_ ,”13 Emi said, and it wasn’t a question.

“ _Sha_. _Atlan kom Floukru na sin in_ ,”14 Clarke said.

“ _En ai_.” 15 Gani looked first at Clarke then at Emi, who nodded, satisfied. Garret’s expression was unreadable, but he nodded, as well. Clarke liked that Gani would serve as the second witness.

“I would like a word with Balta, Gani, and Clarke,” Atlan said, and the others immediately got up and left and Clarke filed that away, the fact that Atlan seemed to have some sort of seniority or at least respect among the other clans. She knew that Atlan often worked in tangent with Ferris and Lexa, but she wasn’t sure how deep the ties went.

Once the door was closed, Atlan motioned for Clarke and Balta to sit where Garret and Ferris had been. “I am pleased that you have come.” She directed the comment at Clarke. “ _Heda_ instructed me to describe a banishment. Because you are not of the ground, we understand that _Skaikru_ may take its own liberties with the procedure, as long as all are in agreement that it means the same thing.”

“ _Heda_ has mentioned some kind of mark.”

“Yes. Do you find it acceptable to use the mark that we recognize? In the future, _Skaikru_ may develop its own, so that people will know that the bearer is _natrona_ from your clan.”

She liked how Atlan referred to _Skaikru_ as a clan. “Yes. That’s acceptable. Are there any specific words I need to use?”

“Since these _natrona_ do not speak our language and they come from Arkadia, the clan representatives feel that it is appropriate for you to say what you feel is necessary to make the point and to clarify the punishment in English. Those who are banished from a clan are no longer welcome in that clan. Other clans may provide food or shelter if they wish to, but they also understand that doing so may put them at odds with _Skaikru_.” She paused. “Among our people, if a member of a _natrona_ ’s clan helps a _natrona_ in any way, they risk punishment from the clan’s leaders. We often banish that person for a year, if the infraction is discovered.”

Clarke thought about the implications of that and decided a _Skaikru_ punishment to those who aided _natrona_ would be less than a year. At least at first. She nodded. “What happens after the marking?”

“The _natrona_ are provided a few supplies and released to the forests. We will all accompany them to ensure this occurs. And then you will need to inform _Skaikru_.”

She nodded. “Where do I do this banishment?”

“Where the _natrona_ are being held. That is why there are generally two clan witnesses in addition to _Heda_ , to ensure that the banishment is satisfactory and verified.”

That seemed fair, even in these circumstances.

“There are two other _natrona_ ,” Atlan said.

Clarke frowned. “Where?” Lexa hadn’t mentioned that, but they had been rather…busy. Lexa also might not have wanted to make her more nervous than she already was.

“ _Trishana_ found them in the forest near _Maun-de_.”

“Do you know who they are?”

“No. Not Pike or Sanders.”

Clarke glanced at Balta then back at Atlan. “When will they be here?”

“In the next two days or so.”

She nodded. “Then I suppose it’s good I’m setting a precedent for _Skaikru_ banishment now.”

Atlan inclined her head slightly. “Indeed.”

A knock sounded at the door and Balta got up to open it. Clarke couldn’t see who was in the corridor, as she was sitting in a place where she couldn’t see past Balta, but whoever it was, Balta nodded and turned to the table.

“ _Heda ste ogud_ ,” she said and Clarke stood with Atlan and Gani. The latter motioned for her to follow Balta first and she did. They wove their way through the knots of people down the corridor to the lift, accompanied by five other warriors.

All were silent as they descended to the ground floor, then another couple of levels via the stairwell. This was one of the dungeon levels, Clarke knew, and the corridor was dimly lit with torches in brackets at irregular intervals on the walls. The ceiling and walls were blackened with years of soot, and the smell of it mingled with the odor of damp stone. It wasn’t the same level that she had used to exit Polis on her way to Arkadia, but it looked similar.

A group of warriors stood at the opposite end of the corridor and Clarke’s gaze went immediately to Lexa, who was speaking with Titus. All turned and watched the approach of Clarke’s group.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said, betraying nothing in the formality of her tone though Clarke was sure there was a warmth lurking in her eyes. “ _En Gani kom Podakru_.”

Gani bowed her head in acknowledgement.

“ _Atlan kom Floukru_ ,” Lexa continued. “ _Balta kom Trikru_. _Ste yo ogud_?” 16

“ _Sha_ ,” came the murmured responses.

“ _Os_. _Den oso stot au_.” 17 She gave a nod and one of the warriors pushed the bar back on the door he had been blocking. Lexa caught Clarke’s eye and gave her a single nod that to anyone watching was acknowledgement of what she was about to do, but to Clarke, it was encouragement, and she relaxed a little as Lexa entered the room first, followed closely by Titus and two guards with torches. She noticed, then, a guard tending a brazier just past the cell, with what she guessed was the brand that would designate the four in the cell _natrona_ and for a moment she wondered if she was doing the right thing.

She glanced at Lexa. Yes, she was.

Gani motioned for Clarke to go in, and she did, her eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light in the cell’s interior. It was bigger than she suspected, and provided benches along two walls. The floor was stone, but littered with straw. This wasn’t the cell the four had been living in, Clarke knew. The cells for longer-term stays included sleeping pallets.

Two men and two women waited, and Clarke recognized Jax, who had been in the party that had delivered Emerson’s demands to Arkadia. He looked a little like Monty, she thought. The other three she didn’t know, though the woman standing closest to Jax looked familiar. He sat on the bench on Clarke’s right. The other two sat on the bench opposite them. Titus motioned two warriors with torches to the back wall, so that light fell over the gathering. The four from Arkadia appeared to be in good condition, clothed and fed. Clarke knew Lexa would have ensured that.

“Clarke?” That was Jax, and she looked at him. She felt Lexa’s gaze on her, but she kept her attention on him. “You’re the Sky Crew representative?” He sounded hopeful.

“I am. Jax, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He smiled wanly.

“And the rest of you? Are you all from Farm Station?” She glanced at each in turn, and all nodded. “Okay. Jax, what are the names of your friends, here?”

He rattled them off and Clarke committed them to memory. She knew Lexa was doing the same.

“Since the rest of you don’t know me, I’m Clarke Griffin—”

“You were in the group that came to the ground first.”

Clarke looked at Lora, the woman who spoke. She was seated on the bench next to Jon, the other man. She appeared petite, and seemed hesitant. Her dark hair was short and mussed, and looked like it hadn’t been washed in a while.

“Yes. As further explanation of my role here, I’m the official representative of Sky Crew to the clan Coalition. This, by the way, is _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , Commander of the thirteen clans.”

They all looked at her, wary and surprised.

Clarke motioned at Atlan and Gani. “The clan representatives of _Floukru_ and _Podakru_ are here, as well.”

“And?” Michi, the woman next to Jax, said. Thin and wiry, she looked like she might be good in a fight. She stood, but didn’t move closer. “Why are _we_ still here?”

“You’re considered traitors— _natrona_ —to Sky Crew,” Clarke said, blunt. “And you were brought here, as you were told, to face judgment by the _Skaikru_ rep.”

“You don’t have any right to do that,” Michi almost spat.

Clarke retained her patience. “Actually, I do. As former residents of the Ark, you fall under the jurisdiction of the people of Arkadia. I am a representative of those people, granted authority by the current Chancellor and council.”

Michi’s eyes narrowed and Jon crossed his arms, a challenge in his eyes. Jax glanced, worried, from Jon to Michi. Lexa moved a little closer and Clarke drew strength and calm from her presence.

“Before I state my decision, tell me why you followed Pike and Sanders to Mount Weather.”

Michi scowled.

“None of your damn business,” Jon, the other man, said and she sensed Lexa tensing next to her. Lexa would put him down before he even knew what hit him, though he seemed to derive a sense of bravado from his powerful, blocky build. His beard and mustache were unkempt, as was his hair and he looked like he might be past the point of caring what happened to him.

“Hey, relax.” Jax put his hand out toward Jon and Clarke figured him for the peacekeeper. “We all had our reasons,” he said to her. “I thought it was a waste not to use the facility. All those supplies and all that security sitting empty…” he shrugged. “We all felt that way.”

He was hedging, from the glance he flicked at Jon.

“And you thought you would be safe from Grounders,” Clarke said flatly.

“No—that’s not it,” Jax said, and Clarke could believe that he, at least, wasn’t completely sold on the xenophobic arguments.

“I know Sanders. And I’ve heard enough about Pike to come to that conclusion,” she said, tone dry. “If there were no mountain to run to, Sanders and Pike would’ve created factions in Arkadia to implement their agenda through the council.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Jon muttered and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lexa’s fingers move to the handle of one of her daggers.

“So you’re in agreement with Sanders and Pike?” Clarke pressed him. “If anti-Grounder feelings weren’t part of this equation, would you have followed Sanders and Pike to the mountain?”

He glared at her. Michi stared at her feet and Lora looked from Clarke back to Jon, expression uncertain.

“What did they tell you?” Clarke asked Jax.

“Look, we all knew that Sanders had it in for Grounders—” he shifted his gaze to Lexa. “No offense, Commander.”

“Continue,” Lexa said, tone hard and cold. The sound of her voice got the attention of the others and even Jon looked uncertain for a moment. She had that effect, and Clarke appreciated it even more than usual.

Jax cleared his throat. “Um, I mean, yeah, Sanders really doesn’t like Grounders. Nobody knows why. I think he just…that’s just him. Pike, though, he hates Grounders even more than Sanders. It’s because when Farm Station came down, we were attacked by Grounders and they killed a few of us.”

From Jon’s expression, that might have been the source of his hatred for Grounders, too.

“What did they look like?” Clarke asked. “Tattoos? Or facial scars?”

“Scars.”

“Ice Nation,” she said. “You realize that Pike and Sanders were working with Ice Nation’s leader, Queen Nia.” It wasn’t a question.

Both Jon and Michi stared at her. “That’s a lie,” he said.

“No. Pike and a few Ice Nation warriors attacked a patrol of _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_ after you ended up at the mountain. Emerson was also working with Nia. He escaped the mountain the first time I had to deal with it, and ended up with Ice Nation. He had the codes and knew how the mountain worked, and Nia helped him get back there. He then used her as a buffer. How did you not know you were working with them? Nia’s forces were outside the mountain.”

“Emerson told us they owed him a favor,” Jax said, “but he said that was the extent of it.” Doubt had crept into his voice.

“Did Pike say anything about Ice Nation?” Clarke asked.

“Just not to trust them.”

“Unless it served his purposes.” She switched tacks. “Did he ever mention Jaha?”

“Sanders did,” Jax said. “We all knew that Jaha left Arkadia a while back on some kind of personal quest, but then Murphy showed up—”

“Murphy? When?”

“We ran into him when we were on our way to Mount Weather. He said that Jaha was crazy and was talking to himself and going on about a City of Light.”

Clarke frowned. “Did Murphy say where Jaha was?”

“Yeah.” Jax ran a hand over his hair. “Past the Dead Zone. But Murphy doesn’t know if he’s still there or not.”

Leave it to Murphy to cross the Dead Zone twice, Clarke thought. “Where’s Murphy now?”

“Don’t know. He wasn’t interested in going to the mountain. He had some Grounder woman with him. I guess he went native or something.”

She chose to ignore that characterization. “What about this City of Light?”

Jax shrugged. “Sanders and Pike weren’t very interested, but there were some with us who liked Jaha and they seemed interested.”

Clarke glanced at the other three. Both Jon and Lora looked like they were trying to avoid her gaze. So they probably had bought into the idea a bit.

“About half of our group in the mountain wanted to try to find Jaha,” Jax admitted.

“Shut up,” Michi said, and Jax took a step back.

Clarke ignored her. “And do what?”

“I don’t know. Try to find it, I guess. From what Murphy was saying, Jaha really believed it was the best place to be. Totally safe and clean. Nothing to worry about.”

“So Jaha found this place?”

“Murphy said that Jaha believed he had found it,” Jax said softly and Michi gave him a glare. “You just had to be willing to buy into it. Murphy didn’t, so he left.”

“And you don’t know where Murphy went after you ran into him?”

“No.”

“Do you know the name of the woman he was with?”

He shook his head.

Clarke regarded them each in turn before she spoke to him again. “What exactly did Pike and Sanders say they wanted to do in the mountain?”

“Sanders wanted to create a new Arkadia, safe from the world. Pike seemed to support that idea, but he and Emerson seemed to talk a lot.”

“And Sanders?”

“He didn’t trust Emerson. Not completely. But he didn’t trust _you_ , either, and when he found out you were in the mountain, he sided with Emerson.”

“Quit talking,” Jon said, voice low and dangerous.

“What? It’s true. You and Michi were all about Pike and Emerson, but Sanders knew that Emerson was going to try something with Arkadia. And he did. He fired a damn missile at it.” Jax’s agitation increased and the warriors holding the torches tensed and Clarke could almost feel Lexa doing the same. “Emerson was a bad deal,” Jax said to Clarke. “But like you said, he had the codes to access everything in the mountain.”

“But that couldn’t stop the flooding. When did you find out about that?”

“A couple of days after we got there. Emerson said it was no big deal, that he’d figure out a way to get the pumps working.”

“But he didn’t,” Clarke said.

“No. They were too damaged.”

Thanks to Raven and Wick. Clarke glanced at Jon. He had apparently decided for now that he was outnumbered, and didn’t seem poised to attack anybody though he remained sullen.

“What was the decision once everybody realized that the mountain was flooding?”

“Pike suggested we try to find Jaha,” Lora said, and Michi’s expression shot daggers at her. “He said there was no point to going back to Arkadia, since Kane and Abby would probably have us punished, and they were too friendly with Grounders.”

“But he wasn’t sold on the City of Light,” Clarke said.

“Not really, but he figured Jaha might know a safe place, whether he believed it was the City of Light or not.”

“Emerson didn’t want to go,” Jax said. “He wanted—um, that is—”

“To wait for me so he could get his revenge,” Clarke said, tone dry. “I know. He and I went back a bit. What about the others in the mountain?”

“Nobody wanted to stay, obviously. And then things got crazy and we all just left as we could. We—” he gestured at the other three, “don’t know what happened to the rest.”

Clarke believed him, for the most part. “Any guesses as to what happened to Sanders?”

“Don’t know. We didn’t see him when we left, which was after the explosions in the missile silos. We went up, through the parking garage. Don’t know what happened to Emerson, either.”

“He’s dead.” Clarke waited a beat for that to sink in before she spoke again. “So all of you decided to leave the mountain and not go back to Arkadia.”

“Why would we?” Michi said, and the anger in her tone was palpable. Clarke wondered if she had lost someone to Ice Nation. “They sold out to the Grounders.” She said the word as if it tasted bad.

“And the rest of you?” Clarke pressed.

Jax shrugged. “I guess I’d go back if I could.” He didn’t sound committed either way.

“Because you’re a sell-out, too,” Jon muttered.

“It’d be better than here,” Lora said softly.

“We’d be in a cell there, too.” Michi crossed her arms and glared at Clarke, though she was probably right.

And she’d probably get no more out of them. She turned to Lexa. “ _Heda_ , _yu don sen in chit bilaik yu gaf sen in?_ ”18

“ _Sha_. _Kigon_.” 19

All four of the prisoners stared at Clarke, Jax and Lora with surprise and Jon and Michi with suspicion.

“ _Heda_ has heard what she needs to and has requested that I continue with my decision. As _Skaikru_ representative to the Coalition of clans, I have determined, based on the fact that you abandoned Arkadia and willingly supported people who endangered and killed _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ , that you are dangerous to the safety of Arkadia. You are no longer welcome among _Skaikru_.”

“What does that mean?” Jax asked, anxious.

“Banishment.”

“What the hell?” Michi stepped forward as if she wanted to punch Clarke but Clarke stared her down.

“All four of you left Arkadia with the belief that you would not be returning. You chose to follow Pike and Sanders, who conspired with enemies of _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ , and that resulted in the deaths of _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ , and the near-destruction of Arkadia and Polis.”

Lora looked like she wanted to cry and Jax’s jaw muscles clenched.

“Banishment is considered lifelong.”

There was a moment of stunned silence from the four.

“Fuck you.” Jon moved toward her, clenching his fists, and Clarke drew her knife as soon as she saw him move, but both Lexa and Atlan were faster and the tips of their swords were at his throat before he was arm’s length from Clarke. The other warriors were also prepared, weapons out.

“Are you really so foolish as to attempt this?” Lexa asked, tone hard and cold and Clarke knew that Jon had no idea how close to death he was in that moment.

“Stop it, Jon,” Jax pleaded.

He glared at Clarke, but put his hands in the air, palms outward, and took a step back, though even in the dim light, Clarke could see that his face was red with anger. She sheathed her knife, glad that her movements were steady. She briefly caught Lexa’s eye, and gave her a quick nod. Lexa sheathed her sword and stepped back, subtly turning the proceeding back over to Clarke, who looked at each of the four in turn before she continued.

“This means,” she said, “that you will carry the mark of _natrona_ —traitor. Any clan member other than _Skaikru_ can offer aid, but they risk good will with _Skaikru_. But any member of _Skaikru_ who offers you aid will face punishment from _Skaikru_ leaders.”

Lora’s bottom lip trembled and Clarke felt a pang for her. She’d been led astray, and probably would have been fine had she remained in Arkadia.

“Banishment can be lifted by the Commander of the thirteen clans, if it’s decided to be appropriate.”

Jon muttered something else and Clarke shot him a look. He didn’t say anything else and Clarke turned to Lexa and nodded again.

Lexa addressed Atlan and Gani. “We have heard _Klark kom Skaikru_ ’s decision. Are you satisfied?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” both said.

Lexa turned to Titus. “ _Lid fleimstika in_.” 20

He moved silently to the corridor and Clarke stood aside when he returned with the iron rod, glowing red at the end with the brand.

“Are you fucking kidding?” Michi said, and then two warriors gripped her and one forced her left hand out, palm down. She struggled, eyes wide, but she couldn’t move and the other three just stared as Titus pressed the brand to the fleshy part of her hand between her index finger and thumb. She hissed between her teeth and tears leaked from her eyes.

Titus repeated the procedure with Jax, who whimpered, then with Lora, who reacted as Michi had.

Jon struggled harder than Michi had, but he was no match, either, for the _Trikru_ guards, who put him easily on the floor and from that position, he, too, was marked, and he groaned in pain then cursed everybody in the room, kicking and thrashing with his legs. When the guards released him, he got clumsily to his knees and stared at his marked hand, cradling it with his other. The others stood near the back wall, expressions mixtures of pain and shock.

“It is done,” Titus said, and he moved toward the door, the hot end of the rod pointed at the floor.

Clarke could see the shape of the mark on Jon’s hand. An X inside a circle about a half-inch in diameter. Simple, and easy to understand.

“You will be turned out of the city before this day is done,” Lexa said. She gave a brusque hand motion that Clarke knew meant that their business was concluded.

And then Jon lurched to his feet in a surprisingly fast motion and moved toward Lexa, who unsheathed her sword so quickly that Clarke barely registered the motion and all she thought was that Lexa was under attack and she reacted, and drew her knife as she stepped between her and Jon. She had the tip of it at his throat before he was able to take another step and somewhere in the back of her mind, Clarke knew that Lexa would have taken care of him easily, but the thought of him getting even that close—she was holding her knife so hard with anger that her hand hurt.

Lexa hovered nearby, and Clarke knew she was waiting for her to make the decision on what would happen next.

“An attack on the Commander is punishable by death,” Clarke said. “Is that really what you want to do?”

“Shit, Jon, just stop,” Jax pleaded.

“Is it?” she pressed.

“No,” Jon said between clenched teeth.

She dug the tip of her knife into the skin of his throat until she drew blood and then she flicked, a quick motion that left a shallow gash about an inch long. He winced and blood ran down his neck. “That’s a reminder. If you threaten the Commander again, I’ll kill you myself.” She gave him a hard stare and he dropped his gaze. To the rest of them she said, “There are consequences to endangering the lives of your people as you all did. Remember that.” She wiped her blade on the front of Jon’s shirt. “And on the Ark, you would’ve been floated. Remember that, too.”

She sheathed her knife and nodded at Lexa, aware that both Gani and Atlan were looking at her with what might have been quiet approval.

Lexa made another motion with her hand and they all filed out of the cell, the guards with the torches last, and one closed the door and barred it. Once in the corridor, Clarke relaxed a bit, glad that the aftereffects of her adrenaline rush weren’t visible, though she knew her knees were shaking.

“Titus will make preparations,” Lexa said. “He will alert us when it is time to escort the _natrona_ from the city.” She sheathed her sword. “We will see you then,” she said to Gani, Atlan, and Titus. “ _Mochof_.”

They all gave her respectful nods and moved toward the stairs, four guards with them. She turned her gaze back to Clarke, and the hint of a smile hung on her lips. “Have you some time, _Klark kom Skaikru_?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Walk with me.” She moved toward the stairs, a guard in front, and Clarke followed, two guards behind her. As they neared the stairs, Lexa slowed and looked over at her. “I think perhaps it is time for another lesson in knife-throwing,” she said with a quick arch of her eyebrow.

Clarke smiled and followed her up the steps.

 

5 _Em don tel ai op seintaim_. _Mochof gon dina_ : She told me, also. Thanks for the food  
6 _Heda_ _don get daun_. _Ai don gaf in bilaik_ _sis em ou_ : _Heda_ was worried. I wanted to help her [with that].  
7 _En nou, Klark kom Skaikru_ , _oso souda gon we_. _Yu dula bitam op_ : And now, Clarke of/from _Skaikru_ , we must go. You [have] much to do.  
8 _Ai laik Garret kom_ _Boudalan Kru_ : I am Garret of/from _Boudalan Kru_ [Rock Line Clan]  
9 _Ai laik Emi kom Louwoda Kliron_ : I am Emi of/from _Louwoda Kliron_ [Shadow Valley Clan]  
10 _Yu laik Wanheda_ : You’re _Wanheda_  
11 _Maun-de don hon tona ai kru_. _Mochof, gon don teik du daun_ : The mountain took many of my people/clan. Thank you for defeating it. [“du” is the pejorative of the third-person pronoun]  
12 _Maun-de don hon tona oso kru_. _Mochof, gon don sis au_ : The mountain took many of our people/clans. Thank you for helping.  
13 _Yu na ban natrona kom Skaikru deyon au_ : You will ban _natrona_ of/from _Skaikru_ today  
14 _Sha_. _Atlan kom Floukru na sin in_ : Yes. Atlan of/from _Floukru_ will witness  
15 _En ai_ : And I  
16 _Ste yo ogud?_ Are you [plural] ready?  
17 _Os_. _Den oso stot au_ : Good. Then we [inclusive] begin.  
18 _Heda_ , _yu don sen in chit bilaik yu gaf sen in_ : _Heda_ , have you heard what you needed to hear?  
19 _kigon_ : continue [you’ve seen this one, too. :D]  
20 _Lid fleimstika in_ : Bring the brand in [the hot iron that provides the mark of the natrona]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, all! OMG so I was on the road (like I said last time) and shit was cray and then I got a nasty cold last weekend and that bastard handed my ass to me and I tried to get this chapter finished up, but had to take a few breaks. UGH. Do not catch this, if you can at all help it.
> 
> Anyway, MOAR CLEXA FEELZ. You guys, I love Clexa. Is it obvious? LOL Like I've said, I think it's important to get more feelz time with them as they navigate the new intimacy in their relationship, and what it means in terms of not only themselves, but the bigger picture, and how it affects their interactions, now. They may be on the DL and all in public, but they're still connected, and I hope I'm able to convey those subtle shifts between them. :)
> 
> The schedule--I should be able to update next weekend (either Friday/Saturday Feb. 3/4), but I'll keep you posted on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) if that changes.
> 
> THANKS everybody for the comments and kudos! I SO APPRECIATE that you take the time to let me know what you're thinking. I try to respond to comments ASAP, but there might be a lag.
> 
> A few tunes that helped with the writing of this chapter: Timecop 1983, "Lovers (feat. Seawaves)"; Nick Peters, "Release Me"; White Balance, "Home"


	55. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke get some training time (literally, you guys) and they finish with the banishment of the _natrona kom Skaikru_. Then news comes from _Azgeda_ and Lexa has some shit to deal with.

Clarke stretched her arm again. She’d been throwing this damn knife for a while since they’d left the tower and her muscles were feeling it. But she hefted it, adjusted her grip, took her stance, and threw.

The blade made a satisfying thunk as it sank into the wood of the door they were using as a target. She grinned. Ten in a row.

“Well done,” Lexa said as she retrieved it and Clarke watched how her ass and thighs filled her trousers, a little unnerved that she was once again objectifying the Commander of the clans. But she ached to kiss her as she approached, ached to hug her. Instead, she took the proffered hilt and prepared to throw again. Their three guards stood a few yards away, watching with interest. From the guard house to her right, she heard the sharp crack of wood against wood in a training exercise, punctuated with enthusiastic shouts and grunts of pain.

She drew her arm back but Lexa stopped her. “Check your grip.” She made a slight adjustment to Clarke’s thumb and the touch of her fingers seemed to spark through her hand. “Do you feel the difference?”

“Oh, I feel a lot of things,” she said softly.

Lexa looked into her eyes, and a slow smile curved her lips. “As do I.”

And Clarke forgot to breathe, and she had to physically hold herself back from leaning in and demonstrating some of what exactly she felt. Instead, she hefted the knife again and Lexa stepped aside, watching. Clarke inhaled, exhaled, and threw. The knife sailed toward the door and stuck again. She smiled.

“You were right, you know,” Clarke said.

“About?”

“Doing something like this after the other matter. It helps clear the mind.”

She nodded, but mischief danced in her eyes. “I am indeed very wise.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and went to the door to get her knife. She had needed to clear her head after that, and the repetitive movements involved with throwing a knife were soothing, almost meditative. It occurred to her that when Lexa trained with weapons she probably did it for those reasons, as well as to hone and maintain her skills.

She returned to her position about twenty feet from the door and gripped the hilt of the knife, preparing for another throw.

“Sheath it,” Lexa said and she looked at her, puzzled, but did. Lexa removed her swords and handed them to one of the guards then she moved to stand in front of her, a few steps away.

“Ready?” she asked.

“For what, exactly?”

And then Lexa flowed toward her in a lithe, fast movement and her hand was on the hilt of Clarke’s knife and she had drawn it before Clarke knew what was happening.

Lexa’s gaze bored into hers as she held the knife up. “What you did today with the _natrona_ Jon was brave. But you were lucky. He is untrained, which makes him a danger more to himself than others, but even the untrained can inflict damage or death.” She slid the knife back into the sheath at Clarke’s hip. “He would not have survived a direct attack on me, had you not intervened.” She leaned even closer, to emphasize her point. “And I would not have let him survive a direct attack on you.”

Clarke swallowed and nodded, the quiet, protective fierceness in Lexa’s voice more forceful than had she shouted, and in her eyes Clarke saw how deeply she meant it, and it both humbled and excited her, that she directed it at her.

Lexa took a few steps away and turned to face her again. “If you know nothing about your opponent’s abilities, assume he or she is trained. Once you engage, you’ll see soon enough what their strengths and weaknesses are. Watch.” She moved toward Clarke, slower.

“An attacker has choices,” Lexa said as she approached, “and each is contingent on circumstances. Since you have not drawn a weapon and I haven’t, either, I might decide to render you incapable of doing so.” And she gripped Clarke’s left wrist with her right arm and brought her left elbow up toward her jaw. The fabric of her shirt brushed Clarke’s cheek and Clarke knew that if the blow had been intended to connect, she probably wouldn’t be conscious right now.

Lexa released her and took one step back. “Or I might think it best to knock you off your feet.” Again she moved in slowly, but shifted to her left as she approached, and her right heel tapped against the back of Clarke’s right knee as her right forearm pressed the back of Clarke’s neck and gently pushed. Clarke stumbled forward as her knee gave beneath the force of her heel and the momentum generated from Lexa’s light push on the back of her neck.

Lexa immediately steadied her. “Or I might decide I want one of your weapons. My strategy will change depending on what type of weapon it is, and how you’re holding it. Or if you’re holding it at all.” She tapped the hilt of Clarke’s knife. “With an attacker like Jon, he is big and strong, but untrained. And today, he was unarmed.” She walked a few paces away again. “But he can still be dangerous.” She motioned toward herself. “Attack me.”

Clarke lunged, but Lexa stopped her easily and had one of her arms locked around her neck within seconds and with her other had pinned one of Clarke’s behind her back.

“Damn it,” Clarke said, chagrined as Lexa released her.

“You will learn. This is new to you.” She motioned. “Again. Slower, so you can understand what I’m doing.”

Several times Clarke pretended to attack Lexa, who used the same movements as the first time, making sure she saw and understood them. Even deliberately moving slowly, she was like the animal predators Clarke had encountered in the forests. Fluid grace and strength, no wasted motion or effort.

“Now I will attack you,” Lexa said, and she reversed the roles. The first few times she went very slowly, making adjustments to Clarke’s holds and positions until Clarke felt more comfortable with the placement of her body and the way she should shift her weight.

“A little faster,” Lexa instructed and she sped up and drilled Clarke at that speed a few times. Then faster, until she was going about the speed Jon was when he lunged toward Lexa in the cell. Three of the five times at this speed, Clarke was able to neutralize Lexa’s attack using the technique she was teaching her.

“ _Os_.” Lexa smiled as Clarke released her the last time. “Do you see how you can use an opponent’s movements and weight against them? Like a river’s current, it’s much easier to move _with_ than _against_.”

She nodded, the prospect of being able to fight better making her grin.“Can we do this again?” She wiped at the light sheen of sweat on her forehead.

Lexa chuckled. “ _Sha_. Often. Your muscles need to learn the motions so that they become part of their automatic response, and so they will function even when your mind is clouded by any number of things. Fatigue. Hunger. Pain. Your muscles can work in conjunction with instinct over mind, and sometimes that’s what you have to rely on to survive. But it’s also important to learn how to channel your thoughts and energies to better guide your instincts. Though what you did today when Jon attacked was brave, it was all instinct, and that can put you in danger.”

“But it worked,” Clarke said with a huff, though she softened it with another smile.

“It did. But next time, I would prefer that you have a little more technique with your instinct.” She arched an eyebrow. “I’m fast, but I might not have killed him before he injured you, if he had been better-trained and armed.”

“And you’re modest, too,” Clarke teased.

She lifted a shoulder in a shrug, and her eyes sparked with amusement. “I understand my skills.”

Clarke laughed. “Oh, is that what they call it?” She almost leaned in for a kiss but checked herself. “Okay, fine. I let my temper get in the way of common sense. But the thought of him even trying to hurt you—” she shook her head. That was a thought too awful to contemplate and it left a physical pain in her chest.

“Clarke.”

She looked up into Lexa’s eyes and the expression within them was reminiscent of the one not so long ago, in a clearing marred by blood and rain, when her gaze found Clarke’s for the first time after so many weeks apart. And even through the barrier of Clarke’s anger and pain then, the look in Lexa’s eyes was a bridge between them, would always be that, and all she had to do was cross it.

That was the expression in her eyes now, and it burrowed right into Clarke’s heart and she clenched her hands at her sides to prevent herself from publicly revealing what she felt for the Commander of the clans, from revealing it right there next to the guard house in the shadow of the tower of Polis.

“It _was_ brave,” Lexa said, “but I want you to be better prepared.”

She nodded, and Lexa’s gaze intensified.

“Do you understand why I say this?” she asked.

“You want me to be able to protect myself.”

“Yes. Because losing you—” Lexa’s expression shifted and she shook her head and bit her lip.

“Hey,” Clarke said, gentle. “I don’t want that to happen, either.” She squeezed her forearm, a quick, supportive gesture that was probably pushing her luck, since Lexa was not physically expressive like this in public. “But you have to understand that I feel the same way about you, and that’s why I did it. Because I couldn’t stand the thought of that guy getting anywhere near you. And it didn’t matter that you’re _Heda_ and can take care of yourself and that he stood no chance against you.”

Clarke moved a half-step closer, lowering her voice so only Lexa would hear. “It didn’t matter because all I thought about in that moment when he attacked was that he was trying to hurt someone I care deeply about, and I can’t stand that thought.” She said it all in a rush, and hoped that it appeared to anyone watching just like any other conversation they’d had in public. “I can’t lose you, either,” she added softly. The thought was too much to bear.

Lexa looked at her like she had the past two nights and Clarke was helpless in the onslaught of her gaze, caught in the force of it, and Lexa glanced at her mouth then back at her eyes and for a moment—for a brief, heated moment—there was no one else in the world but the two of them. Lexa broke the spell first.

“The things you make me want to do to you,” she said softly with one of her half-smiles and it took a monumental physical effort on Clarke’s part not to act on Lexa’s words.

“ _Heda_ ,” the guard holding her swords said as she approached. “ _Indra en Balta kom op_.” 1 She motioned with her chin toward the guard house.

Lexa nodded and took her swords and sheathed them across her back. Clarke looked toward the guard house, too, hoping she seemed composed. Lexa had a way of undoing her in myriad ways.

Indra and Balta were a few dozen yards away, walking toward them. Indra was dressed in dark trousers and shirt, and she wore her weapons as well as her perpetual Indra expression, a mixture of intense and brooding.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said and then, much to Clarke’s surprise, she greeted her. “Clarke. It is good to see you.”

Clarke gave her a nod. “ _En yu_. _Mochof. Skaikru don gaf yu sis in_.” 2

Indra actually registered what might have been appreciation. “ _Yu ste fig au osir sleng_.” 3

“ _Lagen_.” Clarke shrugged sheepishly. “ _Heda en Balta ste sisai au_.” 4

“ _Os_.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, who was fighting a smile, from the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth.

“I am glad that both of you are here. Titus is ready to turn the _natrona_ out,” Indra said.

“Very well. Bring them up.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Indra turned and walked toward the tower, her hand on the pommel of her sword.

Lexa turned her attention to Balta, who nodded at her.

“Atlan and Gani are pleased with Clarke’s actions and statements with regard to the _natrona_.”

“I thought they would be. Come.” She started walking toward the tower, Clarke, Balta, and the guards falling in with her.

“They were quite pleased as well with Clarke’s protection of you.”

Lexa nodded. “ _Os_ ,” she said, and Clarke was impressed again at how quickly Lexa could leverage political opportunities, and it occurred to her that not only was she ensuring that Clarke and thus _Skaikru_ were seen as allies, but she was also creating a narrative that might allow them to be more open with their relationship, through public relations. She watched her walk, struck again by the lithe, regal grace with which she moved, and the authority and respect she commanded simply by the quiet power of her demeanor.

Clarke was sure she would never get tired of looking at her.

A small crowd of both civilians and warriors had gathered outside the entrance to the tower, but when they saw Lexa approaching, all cleared a path for her. Clarke heard murmurs of “ _Heda_ ” and “ _Wanheda_ ,” and she nodded at those gathered as Lexa did. Rumors did seem to spread quickly, Clarke realized, because the crowd seemed to be waiting for something, and she guessed it was for the _natrona_.

Lexa stopped outside the doors and addressed the crowd in Trigedasleng. Clare understood most of it, and it had to do with the banishment of four from _Skaikru_ by order of the _Skaikru_ representative for their betrayal with regard to the mountain. The crowd listened, silent, and when Lexa finished, murmurs of approval circulated.

“Did you understand?” Lexa asked her.

“Mostly.”

“They are here because they heard that you banished four of your own, and I told them this is the case. It’s important for you and  _Skaikru_ that they see this.”

“I know.” She flashed a smile just as Titus emerged from the tower, followed by a group of guards that surrounded the four _natrona_. They weren’t restrained in any way and Clarke was glad for that, actually, because this was humiliation enough.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said. “ _Oso ste ogud bilaik goch dison natrona op kom Polis_.” 5

The crowd shifted and murmured again.

“ _Os_. _Den oso gyon au_.” 6

The crowd parted again and Lexa led the procession, Clarke slightly behind her to her right. Indra had appeared and walked to Lexa’s left. Balta fell back to the rear, and a few more guards took positions on either side of Lexa and Clarke. Titus and the _natrona_ walked behind her and the crowd accompanied them, but left space around Lexa and the _natrona_ as if by common consensus.

Clarke kept her attention focused forward as they walked toward the main gates, their group gathering more people the farther they got from the tower. When they arrived at the gates, she estimated the crowd with them at about two hundred people, including some twenty guards, a few of whom were serving as crowd control, clearing a path out of the city.

Lexa stopped a few yards beyond the gates and turned to the _natrona_. The crowd quieted.

“Because you are _Skaikru_ ,” she said, “I will address you mostly in English.”

The four looked at her, and Clarke read fear in the eyes of Jax and Lora, but sullen anger in Jon’s. Michi’s expression was blank.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ made her decision regarding your punishment for your actions at _Maun-de_. That decision is banishment, and you all understand what that means. Each of you carries the mark of _natrona_ , and all know what it means. “ _Dison fou gada fleimstika kom natrona in_ ,” she said, addressing the crowd. “ _Daunde bilaik sis emo au_ _na kof op_.” 7

The crowd muttered assent and Lexa turned to Clarke and nodded once. Clarke turned to the four.

“You carry the mark of traitors,” she said, projecting for the crowd’s benefit. “And if any help you, they risk punishment. You are not welcome in Arkadia or among _Skaikru_ , and others may not want to risk helping you. Because of what you did, people of _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ died and the weapons of _Maun-de_ nearly destroyed Arkadia and Polis. The banishment stands.”

Whispers circulated among the crowd, and people nodded in agreement.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru don chich op_. _Breik emo natrona au_.” 8

The guards who stood around the four moved away while two others stepped forward and handed small packs to each.

“Go,” Lexa said to them with a dismissive wave of her hand. The crowd fell silent as the four started walking away from the city, followed by the gazes of the crowd. “ _Mafta emo op_ ,”9 she said quietly to Indra. Clarke just barely heard it.

“ _Sha_.” Indra turned and addressed a warrior standing near Titus.

Lexa regarded Clarke for a moment. “Well done,” she said softly and she was about to say something else when a commotion in the crowd farthest from the gates drew their attention. Two warriors on horseback, pushing toward her. People got out of their way.

“ _Heda_ ,” the one in front said, relieved to see her. He wore his hair pulled back in a ponytail and _Trikru_ tattoos marked the right side of his face, which was mostly clean-shaven. “We have urgent news.”

Lexa turned to Clarke. “Go with Balta back to the tower. You will need to alert Arkadia about the _natrona_.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

The scout who had addressed Lexa reached down. She took his arm and he swung her up onto the horse behind him. The other, a woman who looked nearly as powerful as he did, reached down for Indra and hauled her onto her horse. They rode at a fast clip into the city, leaving Clarke staring after them for a few moments before Balta was at her side along with three guards.

“Come,” she said and Clarke started walking with her, thinking that she had forgotten to ask Lexa about the other two _natrona_ and the scouts may have come from _Azgeda_ and might have news of either Roan or Nia. Perhaps both. A little swirl of anxiety ate at her stomach, but she knew Lexa would let her know in good time what was happening. In the meantime, she had a few things of her own to do.

  
1 _Indra en Balta kom op_ : Indra and Balta are coming.  
2 _En yu_. _Mochof. Skaikru don gaf yu sis* in_ : And you. Thanks. Skaikru needed your help. [there is no term via Peterson (yet) for “help” as a noun. So I created one, based on the verb “to help,” or “sis au,” which is derived from “assist.”]  
3 _Yu ste fig au osir sleng_ : You’re learning our language. [“ste” here puts it in present progressive; “osir” as “our” excludes the listener]  
4 _Lagen_ … _Heda en Balta ste sis ai au_ : Slowly…Heda and Balta are helping me. [“ste” makes it present progressive]  
5 _Oso ste ogud bilaik goch dison natrona op kom Polis_ : We are ready to escort these traitors from Polis.  
6 _Os_. _Den oso gyon au_ : Good. Then we go.  
7 _Dison fou gada fleimstika kom natrona in_ … _Daunde bilaik sis emo au_ _na kof op_ : These four have the natrona brand/mark…Those who help them will pay.  
8 _Klark kom Skaikru don chich op_. _Breik emo natrona au_ : Clarke of/from Skaikru has spoken. Release the natrona.  
9 _Mafta emo op_ : Follow them

###

Lexa strode into the small conference room, the scouts and Indra on her heels. The guards stayed in the corridor and one shut the doors behind them.

“Speak,” she said to Bret, the male scout.

“Roan has arrived at _Azgeda_. The city appears to have accepted his leadership.”

Indra’s eyes widened.

“What of Nia?” Lexa asked.

Bret glanced at Dynat, the other scout, and Lexa nodded at her.

“She is missing. She has not returned to _Azgeda_.”

Lexa glanced at Indra then addressed Dynat. “Where did you last see her?”

“The reports are that she was nearly to _Azgeda_ before first light, in a large party, perhaps twenty. They continued to _Azgeda_ and someone in the party looked like her, but it was not.”

She frowned, thinking back to the people who were with Nia when she confronted her. “There was a woman with her who might be able to pass as Nia from a distance. Similar hair color.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Bret said. “There was a woman who arrived at _Azgeda_ with the party who did look like her but wasn’t. Roan told me that he was certain that Nia had left the group and used this woman as a decoy.”

“She did. How long ago was it that they arrived at _Azgeda_?”

“Soon after first light.” He cleared his throat, nervous, and glanced at Indra then Dynat.

“What of _Azgeda_?” Lexa asked. She would find out how it was that Nia had managed to slip away without being seen, and it would involve more interrogations of her scouts.

“Roan has said he is in control, and it was confirmed by our sources within. I saw with my own eyes that there is celebrating. Our sources say that a few Nia loyalists have been placed in custody. Some probably fled.” He glanced at Indra then back at Lexa. “There are many _Azgeda_ in the forests. All we stopped were from Nia’s encampment at _Maun-de_ and all said they wished to return to _Azgeda_ because they had heard Roan was on his way there and they wanted to support him.”

Nia’s forces were dissolving around her. She may not have realized the extent of that until she had gotten past Polis. “Map,” Lexa said, and Indra moved to a nearby shelf and removed a rolled skin and brought it to the table. She opened it.

“Where was the original party when you last saw Nia?” Lexa asked the scouts.

Dynat pointed at an area just past Niylah’s trading stop, on a known route to _Azgeda_.

“Did you confirm that Nia was with the party then?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Dynat said.

“How close did you get to them?”

Dynat pointed at the door, which was about twenty feet away. “From me to there,” she said.

“Is it possible that the woman you thought was Nia may not have been?”

Anxiety flashed in her eyes.

“Where was Ontari?”

“In the party, near Nia.”

“Or the woman you thought was Nia.” Though leaving Ontari behind was something Nia would be loath to do, if it advanced whatever plan she had, she would. “Why did you think this woman was Nia? Did you get a good look at her scars?”

Dynat lowered her gaze to the floor.

“Think,” Lexa said. “Was there any opportunity for Nia to have left the group without being seen?”

A silence descended. Indra glowered and Lexa knew that she, too, would interrogate the scouts.

“The trading stop,” Dynat said. “The party stopped there and several more _Azgeda_ arrived, some on horses, some not.”

“How many?”

“Perhaps fifteen. It was nearly dark.”

Lexa nailed her with her gaze. “Was there a chance that Nia was able to leave with this other group?”

Dynat didn’t respond for a moment. Finally, “ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she admitted.

“Where did the other party go?”

Dynat stepped to the map and pointed at the trading stop then tracked her fingertip behind it. “I sent a scout after them.”

“And?” Lexa was not pleased and she allowed it to show.

“I have not yet heard from that scout.”

Lexa caught Indra’s eye again and Indra nodded. She understood and would send another to try to locate the second party. She returned her gaze to Dynat. “What of Niylah?”

“She could not leave. Too many _Azgeda_. I sent someone in as a merchant to ensure her safety, but _Azgeda_ did nothing except acquire some dried meat and fruit.”

“Did she say anything to the scout?”

“No, but he said she appeared worried. When _Azgeda_ left, he followed.”

“Did no one think to speak with Niylah after?”

Dynat looked anywhere but at Lexa and Bret stared straight ahead.

Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. She would also send someone to check on Niylah. She would have preferred to go herself, but with Nia on the loose and the clan council on site, it was best that she remain in Polis. Lexa tapped her chin with a forefinger, thinking.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said, perhaps Nia never intended to go to _Azgeda_.” She crossed her arms, brow furrowed.

“She may have initially,” Lexa said, “but it’s possible that she discovered Roan’s forces had gotten there first. And it’s possible that the second party at the trading stop was the one that provided that information.” Nia wasn’t stupid. She would have had her own sources at the city.

“And perhaps the trading stop was an agreed-upon rendezvous.” Indra looked at the map.

Lexa nodded. “What of Roan?” she said to Bret.

“He intends to send a representative to Polis within the next few days. He wishes to discuss _Azgeda_ joining the _kongeda_.”

“What does he intend to do about Nia?”

“He has sent scouts to locate her. If he does, he will offer her a choice of abdication or challenge.”

Lexa studied the map. Nia would never abdicate. But she also would not want to be in the position to accept a challenge from her son, especially if she didn’t have backing. Nia would not fight Roan, and she doubted Ontari would serve as her champion. Which left little room for maneuvering if Roan brought her to _Azgeda_. She looked up at the scouts.

“You are both confined to the guard house until further notice. Indra will speak with you later.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” they said softly on one accord and left quietly, closing the door behind them.

“Find out what else went wrong,” she said to Indra.

“Oh, I will. And I will send new scouts out.”

“As soon as we are done here. And I want to know what Niylah has to say.”

Indra nodded, gaze on the map. “We will sweep the forests around Polis.”

“Check the difficult routes from Niylah’s to Polis. She may split her party.”

“You’re saying Nia may still try to come here for her accounting?”

“If she does come to Polis, it won’t be for that.”

Indra’s eyes narrowed. “A challenge.”

Lexa nodded. “Find her.” She locked her gaze with Indra’s. “Before she gets to Polis.”

Indra nodded once.

“Kill her and bring her body here.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

A knock on the door drew their attention.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and Titus slipped in. He nodded at them.

“Balta informed me that scouts had arrived.”

Lexa glanced at Indra again. “Go. Send Mora to Niylah. Arling can help coordinate. Tam, as well.”

Indra gave her a respectful nod and left, her movements tight and controlled but somehow relaxed. She closed the door behind her and Lexa turned to Titus.

“Roan has taken _Azgeda_ but Nia is missing.”

He pursed his lips and clasped his hands behind his back. “And we do not know exactly where she is.”

“No. There was another in her group who could pass as her from a distance. The scouts said that Nia may have been able to slip away at Niylah’s trading stop. Her group arrived, and then another group of _Azgeda_ arrived soon after, near nightfall last.”

“And the scouts did not confirm that the woman who left for _Azgeda_ from the trading stop was Nia.”

Lexa made a harsh noise in her throat.

“Did the original group reach _Azgeda_?”

“Yes. Ontari was apparently with that group.”

“Nia did not take her?” He pursed his lips, puzzled.

“She, too, functioned as a decoy with the woman who looked like Nia. If Ontari was missing from the original party, that would have raised our suspicions. Though I am of the opinion that even the most suspicious of activities would have gone unnoticed by these scouts.” She clenched her fists at her sides, irritated.

“Not all strategies work, _Heda_. Scouts make errors. As much as we hope they don't.”

“Clearly.” She glared at the map. “The second party left the trading stop going this direction.” She tapped the skin. “Let us assume Nia is attempting to reach Polis. Which route would she take? The forests are full of _Azgeda_ , the scouts said, making their way to support Roan. Though she no doubt has a few loyalists among them.”

Titus leaned over, looking. “Perhaps this one. It is difficult because of the ravines, but a small party made smaller by splitting up could navigate it effectively.”

“My thoughts as well.”

He said nothing for a few moments, then cleared his throat softly. She waited.

“With Roan in _Azgeda_ , Nia may be coming to Polis to challenge you.”

“Yes.”

“It may be best, _Heda_ , that she not succeed in arriving.”

“I agree.”

He looked up at her. “I trust you have suggested as much to Indra.”

“Yes.”

He nodded, satisfied. “Shall I call the council to meet?”

“I would speak with Jos first.”

He nodded and left and she pulled one of her knives out and twirled it around her fingers, trying to tamp down her frustration by focusing on the pure mechanics of her motions. Nia had four days to appear for her accounting, but now that _Azgeda_ was no longer in her control, she would most likely seek to challenge Lexa as soon as possible. It was a gamble for her, but the only one she had to avoid a challenge from Roan.

She paced, shifting the knife from hand to hand, following a specific pattern around her fingers. After a few minutes of that, she stopped and went onto the balcony. Clouds gathered to the west, and from the smell of the breeze and its feel on her skin, rain would arrive by nightfall. She stared out over the city, irritation and tension gripping her spine like vines.

Thoughts of Clarke alleviated some of it, but not all, because that, too, had its own difficulties in terms of navigating the treacherous waters of politics, but Lexa would do it. Unless it endangered Clarke. That was her caveat, though Clarke would resist a decision like that.

A tide of warmth spread through her chest as she thought about what Clarke had said and done earlier that day. Stubborn but impulsive Clarke, who put herself in harm’s way to protect her, and who threatened to kill Jon if he tried it again. She scarcely believed they had come to this point, that Clarke chose to stay, chose to place herself in an attacker’s path, and chose to tell her how much she cared. Did that mean something among _Skaikru_? Was that their way of swearing fealty? Or was that something they didn’t do?

And what, exactly, did she want? She was always _Heda_ , and the demands of that role forced prices that she would never allow Clarke to pay. She stared up at the sky, at the blue not yet hidden by clouds, and thought about the Ark that once floated above, and how it sent its first cargo to the surface, a ship of outcasts charged with survival to a world they didn’t understand.

Somehow, one of them now held the heart of the Commander, and Lexa knew the pain that could come of that, knew only too well the ways love and loss could intertwine. But there wasn’t a thing she would do about it because that’s where her heart wanted to be, and some things she had learned simply to accept. Some things were worth accepting.

What did she want?

Clarke. It was truly that simple.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said from the interior and Lexa stepped back inside, though she didn’t sheath her knife.

“ _Kongedakru na hit op pas ai chich Jos op_ ,”10 she said as Balta set a pitcher and cups on the table along with two plates loaded with bread and slices of meat.

“ _Sha_. _Ai don tel Klark op_.” 11

“ _Mochof_.”

Balta gave her a stern look, tempered with kindness. “ _Heda_ , _choj op_.” 12

Lexa sighed but smiled and sat down as Balta poured her a cup of tea. She set her knife aside and sipped the tea, which made her realize she was hungry, so she put some meat on a piece of bread and ate. “ _Ai gaf in, bilaik yu ste hir kom kongedakru_.” 13

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa finished eating just as Titus entered with Jos, who was wearing a long gray dress. Her hair was braided on top of her head and she had applied kohl, which made the pale blue of her eyes stand out.

“ _Heda_ ,” Jos said, bowing her head.

“Sit.” Lexa motioned her to a chair on her left, near the head of the table where Lexa sat. Titus sat to Lexa’s right and Balta poured tea for both of them and refilled Lexa’s cup. She then left, shutting the door behind her.

“If you are hungry, eat,” Lexa said to them. She speared a piece of meat with the tip of her knife and took a bite, knowing that Jos would not partake unless she did first. Titus took a piece of bread and Jos availed herself of a couple pieces of meat.

“We have received word that Roan has taken _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said after a few moments of silent eating.

Jos stared at her, wide-eyed. “Is this so? You trust the sources?”

“ _Sha_. It is not unexpected. I have been speaking with Roan.”

“He is alive?” The hope in her voice assured Lexa that Jos would support him in a challenge against Nia.

“He is. I lifted his banishment.”

Jos exhaled, a sound of utter relief, and closed her eyes for a moment. Titus sipped his tea, watching her over the rim of his cup.

“I had heard,” Jos said, “that you called Nia to account for her actions regarding _Maun-de_ and the _natrona_.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Servants, _Heda_. Speaking in the corridor.”

Jos was indeed observant. Lexa appreciated that, especially from one who could be an ally. “I did. Three days ago.”

She glanced from Lexa to Titus then back to Lexa. “ _Heda_ , if I may speak freely?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Nia will not return to _Azgeda_. There are no doubt loyalists there who have already warned her that Roan has returned. Nor will she come to Polis to stand for accounting.”

She waited, so Jos continued.

“With Roan’s banishment removed, he will be able to challenge her. She knows this, and that is why she will not return to _Azgeda_.”

Lexa picked up her cup and sipped. “Your thoughts, _bandrona_ , on what Nia may be doing now?”

“She will attempt to determine the extent of support for Roan among _Azgeda_ , using her remaining sources. She will not go there herself.”

“And what do you think is the extent of that support?”

“As I have told you, most of _Azgeda_ prefers Roan, including those who don’t know him. They’re tired of Nia’s cruelty and greed.”

“Would she have enough loyal to her to raise an army?”

Jos frowned, thinking. “That I cannot answer with certainty. There are those who are still loyal to her, but I would be surprised if she could raise more than a hundred, and that is not enough to war with Roan or with you.”

Lexa set her cup down. “She has four days before she must appear for accounting.”

“That is plenty of time for her to determine Roan’s hold on _Azgeda_. She probably already has.”

Titus reached for another piece of bread and dipped it in the meat juice of the other platter.

“What, then, might she do?” Lexa leaned back in her chair, watching Jos’s body language.

“If Roan captures her, he will challenge her. If he doesn’t, she will come to Polis, but not for accounting.” She caught Lexa’s gaze and held it.

She knew what Jos was going to say, but she waited anyway.

“ _Heda_ , she will come to challenge _you_.” Concern rippled through her voice and was reflected in her eyes.

“I am in agreement with you.”

“She may be on her way here to do that. And it may be sooner than four days.”

Lexa sipped her tea again. “Nia’s party met another party at Niylah’s trading stop. We think Nia may have slipped away with the second party. In the first was a woman who looked like her, at least from a distance.”

“Terissa,” Jos said with what might have been distaste.

Lexa nodded at her to continue.

“Nia thinks she is a loyalist, but she’s an opportunist moreso than anything else. She is one of Nia’s handmaidens, and it is true that she does look like Nia, at least superficially. It is easy to mistake them one for the other from a distance and sometimes closer than that.”

“Does she travel with Nia often?”

“ _Sha_. Nia trusts her, as much as she can trust anyone.”

Lexa set her cup down and rested her forearms on the table, fingers clasped. “Nia’s original group went on to _Azgeda_ from the trading stop. Ontari was part of it. Would Nia have left Ontari in such circumstances?”

“ _Sha_. Though she favors her for many things, she also puts her to use for others. Ontari traveling with Terissa would make it appear that it was Nia on her way to _Azgeda_.”

Lexa thought about that. Nia may not have known the extent of Roan’s control of _Azgeda_ , but didn’t have another option to fool her scouts. Nia was willing to gamble with Ontari’s life though chances were, Roan would imprison her and every other loyalist he found. And he might even use Ontari to flush Nia out, because he knew how valuable a _Natblida_ was to her.

“Where might Nia be now, after leaving the trading stop?” she asked.

“She does not know the _Trikru_ forests very well, but she could have someone with her who does. She will not take known routes from there to Polis, and might even go in a different direction for a while before circling back.” Jos was silent for a moment, gaze on the table, as if thinking. She looked up at Lexa. “She will not fight a challenge herself, and she won’t risk Ontari, either. Whoever she chooses to fight for her will either be with her now or is waiting somewhere else to hear from her. Possibly someone in _Azgeda_.”

“Who might her champion be?”

“I don’t know. She has several warriors who serve as guards and they are all well-trained and loyal to her. Possibly one of them.”

“You will tell Titus who these warriors are and what their skills are when we are through here. Then you will attend the council meeting."

Jos raised her eyebrows, surprised. “You wish me to attend a council of clans?”

“I am going to request of Roan that you remain _Azgeda_ ambassador, at least until he has formalized his leadership. Does he know you?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. He knows my family, as well.”

“Would he have any objection to this arrangement?”

“I don’t know.”

She was being truthful. Lexa heard it in her voice and saw it in her demeanor. “Do _you_ have objections to continuing in this role here?”

“No, _Heda_. _Ai gaf in badan yu en Roan op_.” 14 She sounded hopeful.

Lexa nodded once. Jos was smart and observant and would be valuable, especially if the council approved _Azgeda_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_. And if Roan decided to allow her to continue in her position as ambassador or possibly on the council of clans, Lexa was sure she would serve as a quiet ally to _Trikru_.

“Very well. Please provide the information I requested to Titus.” Lexa picked up her knife, pushed back from the table, and looked over at Titus.

“ _Heda_ , I have requested that the representatives begin to assemble,” he said. “The last arrived while we were dealing with the _natrona_.”

She gave him a nod then addressed Jos. _Mochof_. _Yu sis ste fleimen_.” 15

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa sheathed her knife with an elegant flourish, stepped into the corridor, and went to the lift, guards flanking her. Once on the first floor, she exited the tower and went to the guard house. The clouds continued to gather to the west, but slowly. After nightfall the worst of whatever rain was coming would begin, and it might serve to slow Nia down, wherever she was.

Indra was inside the guard house, talking to Tam. They immediately straightened to attention when they saw Lexa.

“ _Heda_ ,” they murmured.

Lexa gave them a nod. “Come outside.”

They followed her and moved a few yards away from the entrance, and thus away from possible eavesdropping. Her guards stepped out of earshot, but remained close enough to defend her should something happen.

“Has Indra informed you of what I want?” Lexa asked, keeping her voice low.

“ _Sha_.”

“Nia is most likely on her way here. I hope to prevent her from reaching the gates.”

“I am trying to ensure that.” Indra was still glowering, but Lexa knew it was because of the earlier errors.

“I want Arling and two of his people at the gates,” Lexa said. “They are to dress as vendors and sell something. Nia may try to enter the city in disguise, and she will avoid guards, but not vendors.”

Indra nodded, approval in her expression.

“Send Mora to the trading stop,” Lexa directed. “Now. I want to know what Niylah observed when Nia was there. And make sure Niylah understands that if she requires assistance from me or the _kongeda_ to send word immediately.” She had been a staunch supporter of Lexa since her Ascension and she and Zander had also aided Clarke during her weeks in the forests. They would always have her ear.

“ _Sha_ ,” Tam said.

“ _Os_.” Lexa directed her attention to Indra. “The council meets soon. Please attend.”

Indra nodded. “I will finish what needs to be done here, that I may report on it.”

She glanced at Tam, who also nodded. “Very well. I must prepare. She turned and went back to the tower, still irritated and tense. Indra no doubt had already punished Dynat and Bret, but it would not undo their mistakes, and Nia would capitalize on them.

Her mood must have been evident, because people acknowledged her with a wider berth and she returned to the tower unaccosted with the usual effusive greetings and well-wishes. Once on the lift, she tried to relax a little. The past was done and she needed to work with the information they had. There was no point, Anya would have said, to worrying over what had already happened.

She didn’t wish to burden Clarke with her mood, so she went directly to her quarters, where she removed her swords and harness and set to work on her facepaint. Doing so was somewhat meditative, and she carefully drew three fingertips down first one cheek then the other from her kohl mask, creating her uniquely recognizable marks, at once like claws but also tears, because of the grief she had both sustained and given, and the weight of it carried for her people.

That done, she checked her braids then put on her coat and buckled it, thinking about how Clarke had worn it into Polis not so long ago, and how she had understood, even in the state she was in, the significance the act imparted. She had always, it seemed, been able to intuitively grasp the workings of Grounder culture. Or maybe it was that she understood Lexa on levels most others did not.

She smiled in spite of her mood and finished buckling her left shoulderguard and adjusted the crimson cloth it held in place, one end trailing down her back and the other down her torso to her waist. She would not wear the other guard, since this was more a ceremonial gathering.

Someone knocked as she put her sword harness on.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” she said, and Balta entered, wearing a form-fitting dark brown dress.

“ _Heda_ , the council is assembling.” She gave Lexa a quick look, and moved over to her to complete buckling her harness.

“I am capable of arming myself,” Lexa said with a grimace that she tried to soften with her tone.

“I know.”

Lexa let her, because she knew that Balta was doing it to remind her of her role as _Heda_ , that people desired to serve her and that people relied on her and her judgment. The action, simple as it was, defused her temper.

Balta finished and stepped back as Lexa slid her swords into place.

“Clarke?”

“I will accompany her to the council.”

“ _Mochof_.”

Balta inclined her head and moved to the door. Lexa followed, closed the door behind her, and was about to walk to the lift when Clarke emerged from her quarters and Lexa practically forgot everything she was about to do. Clarke wore a dress that nearly matched the blue of her eyes. It had sleeves but exposed her neck and shoulders and clung to her hips and thighs in ways that were both polite but teasing, and could be interpreted in many different ways, depending on the context in which she chose to interact. She had left her hair mostly down, though braids along the sides of her head kept it out of her face. Lexa’s throat went dry.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, quiet amusement in her eyes.

“Clarke,” she managed, formal. “Since you and Balta are clearly ready, please accompany me.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said, and waited for her to lead the way to the lift.

Lexa tore her gaze away, but felt Clarke’s on her back and it was like the heat of a brand, she thought, as warmth spread down her thighs. She stepped onto the lift, keeping her eyes averted and maintaining her usual formality, but as they rode the few floors down, she hoped Clarke would sit in the back of the room, out of her direct line of sight.

This, she realized, was a trial she had not yet faced as _Heda_ , the strength of her feelings for the woman standing nearby. But as she stepped off the lift, Clarke beside her, there was nothing else she wanted to do than have Clarke near as she navigated council politics. Calm infused her as she strode to the throne room. Guards and servants on either side of the corridor murmured their acknowledgments as she passed. She nodded at them and entered the throne room, the mantle of her responsibilities settling firmly upon her.

Lexa ascended the steps of the dais and stood in front of her chair. “ _Kongedakru_ ,” she said. “ _Oso gada souda gon chich op._ ”16 She glanced around the room, noting that all clan representatives were present, along with Balta, Titus, and Indra.

She took her seat. “Let us begin.”

  
10 _Kongedakru_ * _na hit op pas ai chich Jos op_ : The coalition council will meet after I speak with Jos. [Peterson doesn’t have a term for “council of clans,” though “kru” is usually in reference to one’s peeps/group, so I just attached it to _kongeda_ here, since the clan reps are also the coalition reps, for the most part.]  
11 _Ai don tel Klark op_ : I told Clarke  
12 _choj op_ : eat  
13 _Ai gaf in, bilaik yu ste hir kom kongedakru*_ : I want you to be here for the council of clans [“kongedakru” is my term for the council; see above]  
14 _Ai gaf in badan yu en Roan op_ : I want to serve you and Roan  
15 _Yu sis* ste fleimen_ : Your help is valuable [“sis” is the term I’m using for “help” as a noun]  
16 _Oso gada souda gon chich op:_ We have much to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! So how do you like Lexa working with Clarke on her knife and fighting skills? Lexa knows she can't always be present to protect her, so she'd like Clarke to have the means to help herself if she has to. Because she loves her, dammit.
> 
> And oh, shit. Nia's on the loose. Like, literally. And a couple of Lexa's scouts done fucked up, but Indra prolly opened a can of whup-ass on them. Still, because of it, Nia is now skulking around out there and we don't know for sure what the hell she's gonna do. So Lexa hits up Jos for some info. What do you guys think of Jos? Just curious. She's turned out to be interesting to write.
> 
> I'm going to try to post next weekend (11 Feb.) but things are a little cray (per usual) and I might be delayed a few days. I am, however, working on the next chapter, so it'll get done! :D
> 
> THANK YOU to everyone who is reading along on this, and to all who leave kudos and comments. It means a lot to me and I try to respond to comments ASAP. You can also see what I'm doing or hit me up on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com). I have the "ask me anything" enabled on Tumblr, so have at!
> 
> A couple of songs I listened to while writing this: Corey Harper, "Keeping Me Alive"; Echo, "Young Summer"


	56. A Familiar Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa deals with the council meeting then goes and has a chat with our old friend Gonin, all locked up still in his cell. What she learns stresses her out a bit more. Also, scouts bring news of Nia and Azgeda.

“It appears Roan has taken _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, and it was as if the entire tower paused, so heavy did silence hang in the room. “And it seems Nia has gone missing.”

“We are certain about this?” Hamza asked. “Roan is in control of _Azgeda_?”

“His sources and mine have confirmed that his forces are there, and there is no resistance. A few loyalists have been taken into custody, but it seems there are far more in _Azgeda_ who are not pleased with Nia’s rule than we perhaps thought. It may also explain why Nia is missing.”

That got a few uneasy glances between people.

“I have sent scouts in search of her. It seems we must assume that she will not return to _Azgeda_ nor will she come to Polis for accounting.” She waited a beat for that to settle. “It is fortunate, however, that you have assembled regardless because we must now discuss the entrance of _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_. Roan has said he will be sending a representative to discuss terms. He is supportive of joining.”

Atlan caught Lexa’s eye briefly, and Lexa knew she, too, was gauging the mood of the council. She read tense caution on the faces of most, but she expected that.

“ _Bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_ has joined us today,” she announced.

Several people glanced at Jos where she sat near the back of the room. She remained stone-faced.

“I have requested she do so because I seek to have her continue in her role as _bandrona_ and possibly as the clan representative for _Azgeda_ , contingent on the council’s acceptance and Roan’s.” She leaned forward slightly. “These are the matters we must discuss. I would now hear your thoughts.”

“ _Heda_.” Gani stepped forward.

“ _Sha, Gani kom Podakru_.”

“Many of us are aware of the danger Nia has presented in the past. I know Roan, and believe that he will restore stability to _Azgeda_ and that he seeks to do so for the good of his people, like his father before him. I am thus supportive of _Azgeda_ joining the _kongeda_.” She paused. “I am also aware of the things that Nia has done to her people, and we are all aware that she forced Jos’s hand by threatening the lives of her children. I want, however, to hear from Jos. Perhaps she remains loyal to Nia.”

Several whispers circulated around the room at that. Lexa raised a hand and the whispers subsided.

“All who wish to call Jos to account?”

Eight representatives raised their hands, excluding Atlan, Ferris, Clarke, and Hamza. Interesting, that last. He hadn’t always been supportive of the _kongeda_ , but he was also historically impatient with _Azgeda_. Perhaps he was more supportive of Roan than she might have guessed.

“Very well. _Jos kom Azgeda_ , step forward.”

Jos stood and moved to the foot of the dais. She betrayed no emotion as she turned and faced the members of the council, seated on benches and chairs brought in for this purpose.

“ _Heda_ ,” an all-too-familiar voice said as he stood.

“ _Sha_ , _Danyel kom Delfikru_.” She had expected his objections, but she also knew that he was wearing on the patience of some of the other representatives.

“We all know that _Jos kom Azgeda_ was passing information to Nia. One of your own warriors died for his duplicity in this matter. She is thus responsible for his death. I am not convinced she is not still seeking to undermine you or the _kongeda_.”

Lexa gestured with her hand at Jos and directed her next statement to her and Danyel. “Before you speak, Jos, I would remind _Danyel kom Delfikru_ that _Landis kom Trikru_ made a choice to betray me and the _kongeda_. The responsibility for his death is thus his.” She motioned for Jos to address Danyel.

“I understand _Danyel kom Delfikru_ ’s reticence,” Jos said, her voice loud enough to carry through the room. “I, too, would have the same feelings.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “Most—if not all—of you here are aware that Nia threatened the lives of my children if I did not do as she wished. I know that those among you who have children of your own understand the fear I had about Nia’s threat. And most of you know that when Nia issues a threat, it is never idle.”

Lexa skimmed the faces of those gathered. Most were unreadable. Jos needed to work harder to convince them. She glanced at Clarke, then, who was watching Jos, but she looked up and caught Lexa’s gaze for a moment and a pleasant heat suffused her chest before she shifted her own gaze back to Jos. The proceedings here were largely in Trigedasleng, but Clarke seemed engaged, following the conversation, and Balta would translate if necessary.

“I was desperate,” Jos said. “I had only so much time to provide information to Nia before she killed one of my children. Landis offered to help, driven more by feelings he had for me than a desire to betray _Heda_ , but a betrayal it was, nonetheless, and I do feel responsible for his death, though I appreciate _Heda_ ’s words about it. I will carry his death all my days, because his mother lost a son, that mine may live, and I can never undo that. Nor can I ever repay _Heda_ for the opportunity she granted me to serve her, but serve her I will until the day I die.”

That brought some whispering in the background. Lexa remained impassive.

“Perhaps these are merely more lies,” Danyel said, and the room fell silent again. “You are versed in subterfuge, after all.”

“I would speak,” said another who stood.

“ _Sha_ , _Garret kom Boudalan Kru_.”

“I have no great love for _Azgeda_ , but I think perhaps that is because of the governance of Nia all these years. I have not had much contact with _Jos kom Azgeda_ , but I know that _Heda_ would not ask us to consider her as a representative of _Azgeda_ if she thought Jos presented a danger. I ask, therefore, for the reasons that _Heda_ believes _Jos kom Azgeda_ is not a threat.”

All gazes shifted to Lexa, who had expected a question like it, though not from Garret, who tended toward neutrality though he leaned in support of her most of the time.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said before she spoke. “May I respond first?” His chair was to her right, near the dais.

She hid her surprise. “If the council does not object?” Lexa surveyed the council members. No one spoke. “ _Sha_ , _Fleimkepa Titus kom Trikru_.”

He stood. “ _Garret kom Boudalan Kru_ is correct to ask such a question of _Heda_ , since it is she who has requested the consideration of the council in this matter. Given the history many of us have with _Azgeda_ and with the ambassador in particular, I, too, would ask such a question—” he paused and his gaze swept those gathered, “if I did not have the knowledge I do about _Jos kom Azgeda_.”

Danyel frowned. Titus rarely involved himself in council discussions, but when he did, the council tended to listen.

“ _Heda_ gave _Jos kom Azgeda_ a choice because, as _Danyel kom Delfikru_ noted, she is good at subterfuge. _Heda_ wished to use Jos’s skills against Nia.”

Every gaze was riveted on Titus, now.

“And Jos agreed. As I have come to see, she has no love for Nia and instead has remained loyal to Roan, even after his banishment. You are all aware that there has been a resistance to Nia in _Azgeda_ for months, and that Roan has always had support. Jos was among those supporters, but because her family has been traditionally close to _Azgeda_ leadership, she was forced to play a role in that regard.”

He paused, his hands clasped behind his back. “Because Jos agreed to help us, we were able to plant false information with Nia, which may have helped sow confusion with her and among her supporters, thus undoing some of the damage the ambassador may at first have caused.” He glanced at Lexa then back at Garret. “Jos has also since sworn loyalty to _Heda_ , and we all know what the price of betraying that oath is. Jos thus risks herself and the lives of her children by choosing to serve _Heda_. This is not a choice someone would make if she sought to betray _Heda_ in service to Nia.” He sat down, leaving another expectant silence in his wake.

Lexa sat back in her chair. “Jos has demonstrated that she is willing to work with me and the _kongeda_ against Nia. She has done that, as Titus said, at the risk of her children, should Nia have discovered that Jos’s loyalties do not lie with her.” She met Garret’s gaze. “For these reasons, I do not consider Jos a threat, but rather an asset.”

Lexa flicked a glance at Atlan, whose nod was barely perceptible.

“ _Heda_ , may I speak?”

“ _Sha_ , _Jos kom Azgeda_.”

“I understand why many of you feel the way you do about _Azgeda_. Nia has spent years turning us against the other clans, to keep us loyal to her and to advance her wishes to maintain power at all costs.” She paused. “I am ashamed to admit that I believed, for a time, the stories I heard from Nia about _Heda_ after her Ascension, and about the other clans. Many of these, I came to see, were lies. _Are_ lies.”

She glanced at Lexa then back at the council members. “But I also never trusted Nia’s motives for any action she took, and when she banished Roan, I began to question her even more. _Heda_ proved to me that my suspicions about Nia were correct. This is why I swore loyalty to her, because I now see the damage Nia has done, even beyond _Azgeda_.” She looked at each representative in turn. “It would be my honor to serve as the representative for _Azgeda_ on the council, but I understand why that may not come to pass, though I will remain loyal to _Heda_ and to Roan.”

“I am satisfied,” Garret said, and he sat down.

“ _Heda_ ,” Danyel said.

“ _Sha_ , _Danyel kom Delfikru_.”

“I appreciate the statement from Titus in response to Garret’s question. I would ask the council’s newest representative, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , why she appears to support _Jos kom Azgeda_ ’s continued role as an _Azgeda_ representative.”

He meant to push on why Clarke hadn’t supported a call to account, since she was so new to the council and thus wouldn’t know much about Jos. Lexa betrayed no emotion at his statement, but anger roiled in her chest. Sneaky, to bring Clarke in and attempt to discredit her as well as Jos. She watched as Clarke rose, helpless in this setting to guide her.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said, formality in her tone.

“ _Sha_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_.” Lexa tried not to grip the arms of her chair, but it was through a force of will that she kept her hands relaxed.

“I support _Jos Kom Azgeda_ as a respresentative because I know _Heda_ would not suggest such if she were not certain of Jos’s loyalties or abilities.”

Whispers and murmurs circulated, as well as expressions of approval, as Clarke had addressed them in Trigedasleng. Lexa fought a smile.

“I may not know Jos, but I have worked closely with _Heda_ ,” she continued in Trigedasleng, “And I know that _Heda_ does not ever make decisions lightly. I therefore trust her judgment in this matter. If we agree to allow Jos to serve as representative, we can always remove her should we decide she is not fit for the position or betrays _Heda_ or the council.”

Some of her grammatical constructions were a little awkward, but the overall effect of her statement completely derailed Danyel, from the expression on his face. Balta, seated next to Clarke’s chair, caught Lexa’s eye and gave her a barely discernible nod, the hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth. Clarke had subtly reiterated her position as loyal to _Heda_ and the council, publicly placed her trust in Lexa’s judgment, and played to the unity of the council as a force capable of removing Jos should they wish. All that in a few sentences.

Clarke sat down and Lexa swept the council with her gaze. “Do others wish to address the council on this matter?”

No one spoke.

“Very well. This initial accounting of _Jos kom Azgeda_ will close. Those among you who wish to allow _bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_ to continue in her role as a representative of _Azgeda_ —contingent on Roan’s decision?”

Eleven clan representatives raised their hands. Danyel scowled again. Lexa waited, the weight of the scrutiny from the others on him. He reluctantly brought his arm up and Lexa thought she glimpsed Atlan rolling her eyes at his back.

“The decision is made. _Bandrona Jos kom Azgeda_ , you will continue in your role here, unless and until Roan decides otherwise. You may be seated.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_. _Ai gaf in, koma yu en kongedakru op_.” 1 She bowed her head and returned to her chair.

“Let us now discuss Nia. _Indra kom Trikru_.”

Indra stood and approached the dais. She, like Lexa, wore light armor and weapons, as was customary for her role as Lexa’s second in gatherings like this. Indra was not much for speaking at length, and in keeping with that habit, she briefed them on the fact that Nia had not returned to _Azgeda_ and was probably going to seek entrance into Polis. She stopped there and glanced at Lexa, a signal that she was done.

“We all know,” Lexa said, “that Roan wishes to challenge Nia for leadership of _Azgeda_. There are still some loyal to Nia, who have no doubt informed her of what has happened. It seems reasonable to expect that she will thus not return to _Azgeda_ to face challenge there. It also seems reasonable to expect that she will not be seeking entrance to Polis to be called to account. I would have your thoughts on this matter, as well.” She sat back, waiting.

“ _Heda_.”

“ _Sha_ , _Emi kom Louwoda Kliron_.”

“If Nia does not wish to be challenged by Roan, it leaves her two options. Self-banishment or she comes to Polis to seek intervention by the council.”

“She cares nothing for the council,” Hamza said, his dry, reedy tone crackling through the tense air. “She will not seek intervention. She seeks only to sow dissent.”

Whispers spread in response.

Lexa raised her hand and the sound subsided. She nodded at Emi to continue.

“If Nia does not seek that, then there is only one reason she would come to Polis.”

The air seemed to thicken again.

“She wishes to challenge _Heda_.”

Another round of whispers and murmurs that Lexa again silenced with a brisk wave.

“She has nothing to lose,” Emi said. “If she takes Roan’s challenge and is defeated, she may die or face banishment. If she wins, she gains nothing because she still betrayed all of us by working with the last _Maunon_ to destroy Polis and Arkadia. She risks war from the _kongeda_ if she defeats Roan.” Emi looked around at the others, as if daring them to refute her. “But if she challenges _Heda_ , then there is a possibility that she gains much, much more.”

And puts an end to the _kongeda_. Among many other things. Lexa was only too aware of what Nia would do if she was successful in her quest to remove her.

“In order to challenge _Heda_ , she has to come to Polis,” Emi said. “Unless Roan’s forces capture her first.”

“Or ours,” said Ferris, his baritone rumbling through the room.

Lexa lifted her gaze to him.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said.

“ _Sha_ , _Ferris kom Trishana_.”

“Nia is not yet in breach of the call to account. She still has almost four days to respond. If she does not, then we may force her to Polis. However, I see nothing wrong with trying to determine where she is and what she may be doing. She has betrayed us before, after all.” He sat down and Lexa returned her gaze to Emi.

“I concur with _Ferris kom Trishana_ ,” Emi said. “And I offer scouts to aid in the effort to locate her.”

“As do I,” Gani said.

“And I,” Garret added.

Lexa watched as other council members made the same offer before she quieted them. “Very well. I would request that you coordinate these efforts with Indra, keeping in mind Nia still has time to respond. Roan’s forces may take her into custody before then, but ours will wait until the seventh day after a call to accounting has passed.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Emi said.

“Speak.”

“Should Nia demonstrate any force against any _kongeda_ warriors before the seventh day passes, I would request that we may respond in kind.”

The other council members nodded and murmured to each other.

“Are there objections?” Lexa asked. “Say them now.” No one did, and Lexa took grim satisfaction in that. She stood. “Then Emi’s request is noted and accepted. Is there further business?”

No one responded.

“Then if it pleases the council, I request that representatives remain in Polis for the time being. Roan will be sending word with regard to _Azgeda_ very soon, and we may then learn more about Nia’s whereabouts. If you have business that requires your presence elsewhere, alert me. _Mochof_.”

She descended the dais, and the guards at the base moved quickly into position next to her. “Titus,” she said. “I would have a word with Gonin.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Ai na glong yu raun_.” 2

She nodded and made her way over to Clarke.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, no trace of anything beyond formality in her tone.

“Clarke.” She switched to English. “Have you contacted _Skaikru_?”

“I told Kane about the _natrona_ , yes.”

“This evening, I would discuss with you other matters that perhaps _Skaikru_ should be made aware of.”

“ _Sha_.”

“I will ensure that Clarke is where she needs to be _Heda_ ,” Balta said.

“ _Mochof_.” She held Clarke’s gaze for a beat longer than was proper, and Clarke gave her a quick nod and a flash of something much deeper appeared in her eyes for a moment, which served as a balm for Lexa’s tension. She nodded back and moved to the door, where Jos stood. Titus joined them.

“How well do you know _Gonin kom Azgeda_?” Lexa asked her.

“Before or after my time here?”

“Before.”

“Both our families traditionally serve the ruler of _Azgeda_ , so I knew him in passing and attended functions that he also attended. Beyond that, we had little contact. He is very close to Nia, and served as a messenger for her many times. He is trained as a warrior, but she didn’t use him as that because his skills are not as good as others.”

“Is he loyal to her?”

“ _Sha_ , but Nia is fickle. She won’t come for him unless it benefits her somehow.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “I go now to speak with him. I would like you there.” She put her hand up before Jos could say anything. “He won’t know who you are. Go with Titus, who will disguise you first.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Jos inclined her head and followed Titus into the corridor.

“ _Heda_.”

She turned toward Garret. “Speak.”

He glanced around, as if concerned about eavesdropping, and Lexa motioned him into the corridor. Her guards fell back a few paces.

“ _Heda_ , Nia will no doubt challenge you should she come to Polis, and it may be before the seventh day.”

“I am aware of that.”

“My people are very good with traps. Probably as good as _Trikru_.” He smiled. “I and a few of my warriors can do this at points of entry into the city, and we can help watch.” He shrugged. “Every village and city has the right to defend itself from hostile incursion. And if a trap causes a serious injury or death, well, it was in the interests of safety.”

His meaning was clear. He, too, was not adverse to killing Nia before the seventh day if the opportunity presented itself.

She made a show of pondering his words. “You are correct. A city must defend itself from the possibility of hostile incursions, especially given the unrest with _Azgeda_. I will ensure that Indra coordinates with you and your warriors. Perhaps we can learn from each other, the types of traps best suited to various circumstances.”

He nodded at her and returned to the throne room. Lexa considered his proposition. _Boudalan Kru_ had generally supported _Trikru_ in the past, though there were occasions when they had engaged in a few skirmishes, but that was a few years back, under a different Commander. When Lexa Ascended and began uniting the clans, the _Boudalan_ leader had supported her, though he remained cautious, as Garret was, an approach that many _Boudalan_ took with many clans. Like _Floukru_ , they tended to stay out of the affairs of other clans, but engaged if they perceived a threat to their own wellbeing.

She walked to the lift, several guards surrounding her. Garret was letting her know that _Boudalan_ was supportive of her as _Heda_ and did not want a challenge from Nia, which would destroy all the work that had been done to this point with regard to clan unity.

The thought pleased her, because it meant that she had been correct, that the clans would come to see unity as a benefit, especially without the _Maunon_. They could focus on internal security for each clan, better food sources, and perhaps even determine if there were others beyond _kongeda_ territory. But there was still so much work to do, and as the lift descended, she knew it would probably never end.

  
1 _Ai gaf in, koma yu en kongedakru* op_ : I wish to honor you and the _kongedakru_. [that’s my own term, in reference to the council, as you’ve seen]  
2 _Ai na glong yu raun_ : I’ll join you.  

###

Gonin glared sullenly at her from the bench in his cell. He had been allowed to bathe recently, but the cell still bore the sour smell of an unwashed body and the faint odor of urine and shit, emanating from the bucket in the corner. Even covered, the stench of that invariably hovered in every cell, because every time a bucket was used, the cover had to be removed.

A clean cloth was wrapped around his hand that now had only three fingers. Lexa had given strict orders to ensure that the wound did not get infected, as she wanted to keep Gonin as healthy as possible to question him further. And now she studied him, assessing his state of mind, and her scrutiny made him drop his gaze to the straw beneath his bare feet, marked with a few sores. Confinement had not been good to him.

Titus stood nearby, along with two guards bearing torches. Jos remained by the cell door, behind two other guards. She wore a robe with the hood up, but Titus had also drawn _Trikru_ tattoos on one side of her face, to further disguise her.

“I have come to inform you, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, “that _Maun-de_ has fallen, and the last of the _Maunon_ is dead. The deals your queen made are thus not able to be honored.”

He jerked his head up and looked at her, distrust and uncertainty in his expression.

“ _Azgeda_ has also fallen to Roan,” she added in the same disinterested tone and he visibly started, his eyes widening with a mixture of horror and fear. “So it appears that your options are even more limited, now.”

“What do you want?” His voice was rough from lack of use. “ _Heda_ ,” he added as an afterthought, when one of the guards moved toward him. Still a little fight left in him, then.

“What do you have to offer?” She cocked her head at him. “I might be persuaded to turn you out of the city without banishment if you provide me something useful. Otherwise—” she shrugged. “I will cut out your tongue and turn you over to Roan. The decision is yours.”

Gonin’s close-set eyes seemed to glint in the torchlight and Lexa knew she had gotten his attention with the possibility of release. She was silent, willing to give him a little time to consider what he wanted to do. He didn’t keep her waiting long.

“I served Nia for ten years, and it kept me and my family housed and well-fed. I did the tasks she gave me, asked no questions, and was rewarded.” He coughed, then cleared his throat and spat into the straw between his feet. When he looked up at her again, his eyes almost blazed with intensity. “I can’t say I completely trust you, _Heda_. After all, I’m imprisoned in your dungeon and missing a finger. But everything you have said to me—everything you said you were going to do—has been true.”

He held his bandaged hand up as emphasis. “You said you would do this if I didn’t answer your questions.” He shrugged. “You did. You said I would remain here until you made a decision. And so I have. You told your guards to feed me and keep my wound clean. That has happened. And you haven’t said you would kill me, and here I sit, still alive.”

Titus’s eyes narrowed, and he glanced at the nearest guard, something he did when he had concerns about a prisoner Lexa interrogated. She didn’t share his concern, since she would kill Gonin immediately if he attacked.

“That is not something I could trust from Nia,” Gonin said. “Since I’ve been here—” he made a vague gesture, “I have had much time with my thoughts. And I can’t remember a day when I could completely trust what Nia said or did, in spite of her rewards. You, however, have told me exactly what to expect and kept your word in that regard.” He leaned back against the wall and exhaled, the sound of a man resigned to whatever fate he got.

Titus glanced at Lexa then back at Gonin.

“I think many things Nia said were lies,” he said. “It doesn’t mean I trust you, but right now, I have no other options. So what do you want to know? I’ll answer any questions you have, to the best of my knowledge.”

Lexa regarded him, assessing his body language. Though he might still have a little bit of fight, he seemed willing to provide information. “Very well. If your answers prove true and I find them useful, I will turn you out of the city, without the mark of the _natrona_. But should your answers not prove true, I will take your tongue and hand you over to Roan.”

Gonin gave her a nod. “I do not intend to provide falsehoods. So I hope for my sake that you find my answers useful.”

“Indeed.” Lexa looked at Titus, and he nodded at her, signaling that he, too, was listening. Behind her, she heard movement as the door opened and guards left. She kept her attention on Gonin, and a few moments later, the guards returned, carrying a bench that they placed against the wall opposite him, a few feet away. Lexa sat down and the guards retreated, though out of the corner of her eye, she noted that Jos had moved a little closer, to a position that allowed her to better see Gonin and, she suspected, gauge his reactions and responses.

“What was your status with Nia?” Lexa asked.

“I am trained as a warrior, but there are many who are much better than I. My father wanted the warrior’s way for me, but it hasn’t been the best fit. My family has traditionally supported the _Azgeda_ leader, and when Nia took the throne after _haihefa Willum_ died, we swore our loyalty to her, as was customary. Because my skills as a warrior were not good enough for her personal guard, I became a messenger and sometime advisor, depending on her mood.” He grimaced and cleared his throat again.

Lexa turned to one of the guards. “ _Lid em woda in_.” 3

The guard exited the cell but returned moments later with a dipper of water that he handed to Gonin, who drank it all then wiped his mouth with the back of his uninjured hand. He gave the dipper back to the guard and resumed speaking.

“Nia proved fickle, and changed her guards often. It wasn’t until the last two winters that she settled on ten she uses all the time. That was when she banished Roan.”

“How long had Ontari been with her then?”

“A few years longer than that. Ontari is _Azgeda_ , but Nia refused to let her mother send her to the Conclave. Her father was taken by the _Maunon_ when she was very young, but she showed promise as a warrior. So Nia took her as a charge.”

“Why?”

“To become Commander. Nia has always planned to either be Commander herself or install a _Natblida_ she controls. It’s an open secret, and I know you’re aware of it.” He regarded Lexa, as if seeing her for the first time. “Nia thought she would be able to do this in the wake of the mistakes of the previous Commander, and the dissent he created. Nia thought the clans were so divided that she could use his death as a way to establish herself and Ontari.” He laughed, a short bark of a sound. “But you Ascended, and you were not like the previous Commander. Or like any other, for that matter.” His expression was one of grudging admiration. “And within months, you had brought some of the clans together, which ruined Nia’s plan. She waited too long to challenge you.”

Lexa guessed where he was going next, and she steeled herself.

“So she tried to discover your secrets and, ultimately, to weaken you.” He went silent then, and stared at his feet. “That was not a decision I supported. Not many knew what she was planning to do, and after _Costia kom Trikru_ ’s death, Nia became even more treacherous. It was as if we were all trapped in a web that we hadn’t realized was even there.” He grimaced. “The time I have spent here has allowed me to see that, I suppose.”

Lexa said nothing. The sharp lance of grief didn’t come this time at mention of Costia’s name. Instead, a soft melancholy washed over her but faded quickly.

“I tell you this as a warning, _Heda_ ,” Gonin said as he sat up straight. “Nia learned about Costia and what she meant to you because she had spies in Polis. All they had to do was listen to the gossip of the tower servants.”

Lexa had guessed that Nia had spies in the tower, and after Costia’s death, Titus rooted them out and ever since, he had been even more diligent. “These spies,” she said. “Among servants or guards?”

“Servants, before _Costia kom Trikru_ ’s death. After, it has been nearly impossible. You did well with watchfulness.”

“How do you know this?”

“I pay attention. Information is power when it comes to politics.”

She couldn’t dispute that.

He cleared his throat. “There were times when she would summon me to take a message somewhere, but would be delayed for some reason. She would talk with her advisors while we waited, and I heard things. I also heard things from others.”

Lexa leaned forward a little. “When did she get another spy in?”

“Not counting Jos, she got no other from _Azgeda_ into the tower. Instead, she worked to cultivate guards and servants already in the tower.”

“How?”

“Using _Azgeda_ or sympathizers in the marketplace to target tower staff on their daily errands.”

She kept her tone level. “How effective was she?”

Gonin cracked a smile. “To hear her tell it, not very. It seems the staff in the tower are very loyal to you. But Jos told me of a man named Landis.” He coughed again and cleared his throat. “When she was imprisoned with me, she said you discovered his treachery and he paid with his life.” He scratched the side of his face. “If Nia had found a way recently into the tower, it would have been through him. Though he is dead, he no doubt left at least one loyal to him. Nia usually seeks siblings or lovers of such _natrona_. She has found that there is always one among them that remains loyal to the traitor. Look to your tower staff and their connections to _Landis kom Trikru_.”

Lexa considered his statement. Titus and Balta were the most familiar with the servants and guards, but was it possible that Landis had relatives or lovers they didn’t know about?

“You know how it is with servants,” Gonin continued. “Nobody pays much attention to them, but they pay a lot of attention to those they serve. Landis might have been acquiring information from someone else to pass to Jos.”

Lexa didn’t bother to look at Titus. She knew he was listening. “Who would such a person—if he or she exists—provide information to now?”

He shrugged. “My guess is someone in the city like a vendor. If the servant is sent out to the markets, that would be an ideal way to pass information along.”

“Who else in the tower might be serving as a spy?”

“Nia tried to convince some of the other clan representatives to pass information to her, but she was not successful, even with the very few who might have been sympathetic to her.” He gave her a wan smile. “Her best chance for that was when you made the deal with the _Maunon_ to free our people within. She said you were weak for not staying to fight, and then when _Klark kom Skaikru_ killed the _Maunon_ , Nia tried to use that against you, as well.” He adjusted his position on the bench. “But the feats of _Wanheda_ drew people closer together, especially since you ensured that everyone knew what she had accomplished at _Maun-de_. Somehow, that brought people closer to you, that you had saved our people and spoke true about _Skaikru_ ’s role.” He sighed and stopped speaking for a few moments.

Lexa glanced at Titus, who was staring hard at Gonin, though his expression was unreadable. The sleeves of his robe covered his hands, which Lexa knew were clasped in front of him.

“Though Nia has not been successful beyond Jos in putting an _Azgeda_ spy in the tower,” Gonin continued, “look to the staff, as Nia does. Servants and guards may not wish to reveal secrets, but you know how people can gossip, and sometimes they do not think about their surroundings when they do. Nia may not have been able to get another spy in, but she is good at hearing things, and she most likely has people outside the tower who know how to get themselves in the correct vicinities.”

Yes, she was. Lexa changed the subject. “What did Nia want with _Wanheda_ after she killed the _Maunon_?”

“She thought if she could create an alliance with _Skaikru_ , it would strengthen her position against you. _Skaikru_ has tech, after all, like the _Maunon_. But _Wanheda_ disappeared and though Nia sent her warriors to find her, she had to be careful because _Wanheda_ was in _Trikru_ territory. Then she decided to try to flush _Wanheda_ out by pressuring Arkadia and making it seem that _Trikru_ was the enemy. And we see how well _that_ worked.”

Lexa was silent, regarding him. He had everything to gain and a lot to lose if he was dishonest, and in her experience, most people erred on the side of everything to gain.

“Nia will challenge you,” he said. “If Roan manages to hold _Azgeda_ —and support for him is strong—she will feel that she must, if only to avoid a challenge from him.”

“And who might she put forward as a champion?”

“Not Ontari, but she has five warriors in her personal guard that are her best and strongest. I’d guess one from among those.”

“And you will tell _Titus kom Trikru_ who they are and what their strengths are,” she said as she stood. “You will also tell him the names of those closest to Nia and their roles, and you will answer whatever questions he has. We will assess the information you provide and if we find it to be accurate, then I will release you to the forests. If not—” She didn’t complete the statement because he knew what she would do to him.

He eyed her, expression calculating but also hopeful. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, and Titus moved to the bench Lexa had just vacated and sat down, back rigid. He flashed her a glance and gave her a nod and she moved to the door, catching Jos’s eye as she did. Jos nodded and then a guard opened the door and Lexa stepped into the corridor and strode to the stairwell, guards with her. When she emerged onto the first floor, one of the guards posted there approached her.

“ _Heda_ , _Indra gaf kom chich yu op_ ,”4 she said.

“ _Weron_?” 5

“ _Strik wogeda_.” 6

“ _Lok Balta op en sen em op der_.” 7

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

She entered the lift with her guards, mulling what Gonin had said. They had all assumed that the stain of treachery ended with Landis, but what if there was, say, a younger sibling who looked up to him? Did such a sibling exist in the tower? She would need to find out what Jos knew of such a person, though it seemed that Landis hadn’t mentioned anything to her because Jos would have told her. Jos knew how precarious her position was, and if she lied about anything or deliberately neglected to tell her something, she knew the terrible price she would pay.

If Landis had such a connection in the tower, perhaps he wanted to keep the person protected, and thought that the less anyone knew, the better. Regardless, this would require another conversation with Jos.

Tension tightened the muscles in her back and chest. If there were another person who was aiding Landis, how much might he or she know about her and Clarke, and was that information passed along, as well? And to whom?

The lift stopped and she stepped off and went to the conference room. The door was open. Indra stood near the table, speaking with two scouts. They all looked at her when she entered.

“ _Heda_ ,” they said.

Lexa gave them all a nod of acknowledgement and joined them.

“There is news of Nia’s group,” Indra said. She gestured at one of the scouts to speak, a young man who appeared to be growing his first full-length beard.

“Speak, _Aron kom Trikru_ ,” Lexa said.

“There were two groups of _Azgeda_ at the trading stop. Dynat told me to follow the second—the group that arrived later that went a different direction than the first. There was one among them who rode with a cloak and hood, kept in the center. It was dark, and I could not see this one’s face, and the hood was made to cover most of it. Lukas and I followed until they made camp.” He turned to the table, and the map that had been spread out on it. “Here,” he said, pointing at a spot a few miles north of the trading stop. If they turned west, the group would be headed toward Arkadia.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “It was Nia in the cloak. She travels with this group.”

Lexa glanced at Indra, whose expression was grim. “Did you hear anything about where they were going?”

“We were able to get close, but not close enough to hear everything. It sounded as if they wished to travel west for a while, past Polis, then they will double back to the city.”

Lexa was silent for a moment. Nia might wait the full four days, but chances were she wouldn’t because Roan was looking for her. “She’ll be at Polis in two days,” she said, “if that is what she is planning.”

“My thoughts as well,” Indra said. “I have already sent scouts to meet up with Lukas. This direction.” She ran her finger west from the camping spot Aron had pointed out. Lexa knew she would probably send ten, to fan out in pairs to cover the most ground.

“How many are in Nia’s group?” Lexa asked Aron.

“Thirteen.”

“Tell me of this group.”

“Warriors, all of them. Lukas was in the trading stop when this second group arrived, and he heard them tell Nia about Roan.” At this point, he smirked a little. “She was not pleased.”

Lexa offered a grim smile in return. “I imagine not.”

Indra’s scowl decreased at that.

“But then she disappeared for a bit, and then all the _Azgeda_ who were inside came outside and I thought she was in the original party, since Ontari was in that one, but we had orders to follow the second. It wasn’t until the second group camped that we realized Nia was with them, and not with the party that went to _Azgeda_.” He paused. “Nia was inside the trading stop, and that might have been when she was able to disguise herself.”

“Did Lukas speak with Niylah?”

“A little, but there were many _Azgeda_ within, and he could not speak as freely as he wanted and then the groups left and we had orders to follow, so we were unable to talk with her. She was well, the last we saw of her.”

Lexa looked at Indra. “Do we have news of _Azgeda_?”

“ _Sha_. Sarra brings it.”

She looked at the other scout. “Speak.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She wore her hair pulled back from her face, and fastened in a tight bun. One of the tattoos—a stylized bird’s claw—on the left side of her face was new, Lexa saw from the scabbing on its edges. The deep black of the ink seemed to float on the brown of her skin. “There is much celebrating in _Azgeda_. Indra put _Trikru_ among Roan’s forces at the mountain, and I was among the first to arrive. There was no fight, _Heda_ , though a few fled.”

“Loyalists,” Indra said.

“ _Sha_ ,” Sarra responded. “Roan allowed us to stay in the city in the guard house, where we learned that there were many people pleased that you lifted Roan’s banishment and that he had returned. It is common knowledge that he intends to challenge Nia, and from what I and other _Trikru_ heard, _Azgeda_ is pleased. From what I observed, _Azgeda_ is tired of Nia’s constant desire for warfare, and I heard many stories that night about her cruelty over the years.” She smiled, then. “I also heard many people speak highly of you, especially because you had invited _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_ and you lifted Roan’s banishment. Roan made it known that you had personally called Nia to account for her actions regarding Emerson, and that, too, has made people speak favorably of you.”

Nia would definitely not be pleased at that, and it would fuel her anger and desire to challenge her. “We may say, then, that Roan does in fact have _Azgeda_ under his control?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ , though he knows that loyalists probably remain among them. It seems, though, that they are much fewer than those who support Roan, and they would not be able to raise opposition to him.”

The door opened and Balta leaned in. “ _Heda_ ,” she said and Lexa motioned her in.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said to the scouts before she looked at Indra. “Have you some time now?”

“ _Sha_.” She dismissed Sarra and Aron, who nodded at Balta as they passed her. She shut the door behind them and walked to the table.

“I have spoken with _Gonin kom Azgeda_. He has decided that providing as much information as he can is a useful endeavor.”

Indra nodded, grim.

“He has already spoken of some of the tactics Nia has used since Costia’s death in her attempts to get spies into the tower.”

Balta’s eyes narrowed.

“He said that it has been very difficult for her since then, and he said she no longer tries to infiltrate, but rather tries to use people already here as sources of information, through gossip and the like. She may not have people in the tower, but she has people outside it, who can overhear things.”

Indra crossed her arms and frowned.

“Did _Landis kom Trikru_ have any relatives that we are unaware of? Perhaps a younger sibling with access to the tower? Or who has visited him here?”

Balta appeared to be thinking, her mouth set in a hard line. “He has two older brothers, as you are aware. The merchant here and the other near Tondc. Indra knows him personally.”

Indra nodded. “He is trained as a warrior but his livelihood is as a hunter.”

“Speak with Landis’s fellow guardsmen. Those he spent the most time with,” Lexa said to Indra before she turned her attention to Balta. “Check the networks in the tower again. I want to know whether Landis was working with someone other than Jos. Titus is currently with Gonin, but when he is finished, he will no doubt wish to speak with you.”

Balta nodded, a dangerous glint in her eyes. If there was anything or anyone to be found, she and Titus would do so.

“I want to know, too, if there might be anyone outside the tower who could be in Nia’s service. Vendors. Anyone who has a business near the tower—anyone who delivers here or is in the area conducting any kind of business.”

No one spoke for a moment, and she knew they were all considering the task she had set before them.

“Send the scouts out,” Lexa said to Indra. “Ensure my instructions are clear.” She meant the order to kill, and Indra nodded.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Perhaps _Heda_ might accompany Indra to the guard house,” Balta said. “And ensure the readiness of the scouts and the clarity of the instructions.”

Lexa started to retort then noticed the quick, almost furtive glance shared between Indra and Balta, who had correctly gauged her mood, and who knew that sparring always cleared her head. She almost smiled in spite of herself. “Very well,” she said.

“I will alert you should any news come to the tower.” Balta’s tone left no room for argument regarding Lexa going to the guard house.

Lexa started to retort then realized that Balta was trying to help her, and she rolled her eyes, and smiled which made Indra smirk as the tension dissipated.

Balta smiled back. “ _Heda_ , I and Titus will begin our inquiries. But perhaps it is best right now that you go among your warriors.”

“Perhaps.” Lexa began walking to the door. Indra and Balta followed her into the corridor and Indra and several guards accompanied her onto the lift while Balta went to the stairs. Once on the ground floor, they exited the tower and walked toward the guard house, across the expanse of flagstone interspersed with hard-packed earth that surrounded the tower.

“Do you believe Gonin?” Indra asked.

“He has no reason to lie. If he does, I will remove his tongue and give him to Roan. If he does not, he gets his freedom.”

Indra grunted softly in response.

“What else do you know of Landis?” Lexa slowed her pace a little. “I do not recall any other siblings.”

“If he had them, he never mentioned them. I know his family moreso than you do, and I am not aware of any. He has cousins, and his brothers have children, but they are not part of tower staff.”

“That we know of. Perhaps a more distant relative?” She wracked her brain but came up blank.

“Possible.”

“Ask among the guards. And also about whether he had other love interests.”

Indra stopped, forcing Lexa to stop, as well. “ _Heda_ , are you certain you wish to pursue this? Gonin may be lying, and there’s no way to prove or disprove what he says about Landis. He may simply be offering certain kinds of information that sound plausible that you grant him his freedom while we waste valuable time chasing phantoms.”

“Is it not worthwhile to ensure internal security?”

Indra clamped her mouth shut but something in Lexa’s eyes made her expression soften. “This isn’t necessarily about spies in general, is it?”

She didn’t respond, but she knew Indra realized her concern.

“I will ensure that the guards at your quarters and Clarke’s are vetted again, and I will see if there is talk in the guard house.” She meant if there was talk about the relationship between them.

Lexa nodded, partially relieved, and started walking again.

“Things are different now, _Heda_.”

She stopped again. “Are they?”

“ _Sha_. You are a much stronger leader, better prepared, with strong allies.”

“None of that matters if Nia is able to infiltrate the tower.” She didn’t say what she was thinking, that if Nia could get people in, Clarke was in even more danger. However, Indra seemed to understand.

“I will coordinate with Titus and Balta. We will again assess the networks and security.”

She gave her another curt nod and continued to the guard house. Once there, Indra chose scouts to try to find Nia’s group. They were a mixture of veterans and skilled younger warriors, and Lexa approved. Indra addressed them in private, Lexa observing, and when she finished, she turned to her.

“ _Heda_?”

Lexa stepped forward. “ _Nia ste nou lukot kom oso_. _Em ste don nou foto_ , _bilaik som kom gon em au_.” 8 Her meaning about Nia’s potential fate at their hands was clear, she saw in all their faces.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” they murmured, with nods of approval.

“ _Gothru klir_.” 9

They filed out, Indra with them. Lexa stood for a while in the silence, then left for the training grounds. She needed to spar, needed to lose herself for a while in movement and the challenge of the physical. And then perhaps she would have some time with Clarke. That thought was far more pleasant than the others she’d had today, though she had to force herself not to dwell on the possibility of Nia discovering the relationship between them.

At the edge of the training grounds she removed her sword harness and coat and handed them to one of her guards, and as she walked toward a group of warriors, she let the day slough off her, left it behind her on the flagstones next to her guards.

One of the trainers saw her and hailed her with a smile. He tossed her a staff at her gesture and as she gripped it, she smiled, too. This was exactly what she needed to be doing. She took a fighting stance and motioned the trainer to attack and as his staff cracked against hers and sent reverberations through her palms, she finally relaxed, and let the day’s concerns go.

  
3 _Lid em woda in_ : Bring him water  
4 _Indra gaf kom chich yu op_ : Indra wants to talk to you  
5 _Weron_ : Where (you’ve seen this one)  
6 _Strik wogeda_ : small conference room (you’ve seen this one too)  
7 _Lok Balta op en sen em op der_ : Find Balta and send her there  
8 _Nia ste nou lukot kom oso_. _Em ste don nou foto_ , _bilaik som kom gon em au_ : Nia is no friend of ours. It would not be bad, if something happened to her.  
9 _Gothru klir_ : safe passage [you’ve seen this one!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! So the overarching theme of this chapter is "Lexa is a stressball." Where the hell is Nia and how much does she know, exactly, about Clexa? And does she have people in Polis who are going to fuck with Clarke?
> 
> I want to do a shout-out here to Dammett and Hamawa26, who gave me an idea after comments they left on the last chapter. I already had this idea in play, but their comments helped flesh it out for me more, and we'll see how it goes. Thanks, you two!
> 
> I should be able to post next weekend (Sat. the 18th--already writing the next bit with MOAR CLEXA). If that changes, I'll ETA here and I'll also [Tweet](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) it and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) it. So check those, too, if anything freaky appears to be happening.
> 
> A few songs that joined me in the writing of this chapter: Ella Vos, "White Noise"; Florence + The Machine, "Shake It Out"; IV Edition, "Space Between"


	57. Things Aren't Always What They Seem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke chats with Atlan and gets an idea about what Nia might be up to. Then she radios Kane to update him on Azgeda and Nia on the loose and then it seems that Clarke's predictions about Nia might be coming true as there's a possible breach of security in the tower.

Clarke worked her way closer to the table where Indra had spread the map out and she listened as she issued instructions to the clan representatives who had offered scouts about which areas they should search for Nia. She was trying to cover as large an area as possible, Clarke knew.

But something about Nia going missing wasn’t sitting well with her. Nia wasn’t stupid, so it made sense that she wouldn’t try to return to _Azgeda_ because she probably knew that Roan wanted to challenge her. But she also would know that Lexa would be searching for her, too, and she would know that Polis would be even more difficult for her to access. Unless she was hoping that Lexa would be operating under the assumption that Nia still had a few days to respond and therefore wasn’t worried about what she was doing.

Somehow, Clarke doubted Nia would take that chance. Like Lexa, she would consider many options, and though it made sense that Nia’s endgame was to challenge Lexa, it didn’t sit well with her, either. Nia would know the kind of warrior Lexa was, to a certain extent, but she wouldn’t know precisely her strengths and weaknesses on the battlefield. So it was a gamble, challenging her.

Unless she had been watching. Lexa had spies in _Azgeda_. Would it be that difficult for Nia to do the same with Polis?

Clarke watched Indra trace a path from Polis toward the mountain with her fingertip and she thought again about whether Nia might have spies in Polis. She had tried with Jos, but that clearly hadn’t worked out the way she had planned. And even if she did have spies in the city gathering information about Lexa, how much could they possibly get about her fighting skills?

Or was she looking for other information? Clarke’s stomach clenched a little. Perhaps Nia had spies in Polis who told her about Costia those years ago. How else would she have known about Lexa’s relationship with her, unless Nia had a spy in the city or someone close to Lexa was a traitor?

She frowned, frustrated. What were they not seeing?

Indra finished with her instructions, signaling the end of this gathering, and the representatives moved away from the table, though Clarke stayed. Ferris took Indra aside and Clarke’s gaze wandered the room to Danyel, who was speaking with—she searched her memory—Hamza, near the door. Garret and Gani had joined Ferris to speak with Indra and Clarke again focused on the map.

If Nia wanted to enter Polis before the seventh day, she would still probably have to go through the main gates, which was risky. Did she perhaps know of another entrance, like the one Clarke had used when she left Polis the last time? And if so, did that mean she had someone in the city who would let her in? Who?

“Have you thoughts on these matters, _Klark kom Skaikru_?” Atlan asked in English.

She turned her gaze to her and flashed a quick smile. “Some.”

Atlan smiled back, and it lit up her eyes, which appeared gray, Clarke decided. “I would be interested to hear them.”

“Not so much thoughts as feelings,” she admitted.

“It is wise to pay attention to those, as well.” She hooked her thumbs on her belt and regarded her with interest.

“Okay. We can assume that Nia did not return to _Azgeda_ because she knows Roan has taken the city and will challenge her. She’s no longer in power or control there. So there are two ways she can regain both,” Clarke said, shifting her gaze back to the map. “She can accept Roan’s challenge, and if she wins, then she is _plana_ once again of _Azgeda_. Or she can challenge _Heda_. If she wins, she will have perhaps more options in terms of expanding her power than if she beat Roan in a challenge.” The thought of Nia defeating Lexa made Clarke almost physically ill and she turned her attention back to Atlan.

“ _Sha_ ,” she said, still interested.

“Nia knows she has roughly three days to respond with regard to the accounting. Why would she wait? Why wouldn’t she just come to Polis and say she was here for accounting and challenge _Heda_ then?”

Atlan’s brow furrowed.

“Or is that something you’re not supposed to do at an accounting?”

“No, a challenge can be issued any time, as long as both people are present.”

So that was the catch. The challenge had to be issued in person. “Then why wouldn’t she just come to her accounting? It doesn’t seem she’s on her way to Polis, given that she seems to have disguised herself at the trading stop and left with a different group.”

“Perhaps she is trying to avoid Roan,” Atlan said as she crossed her arms.

“She’ll be assuming, though, that _Heda_ will also be searching for her. She’ll also assume that Roan may be in contact with _Heda_ , and they may already be allied, as far as Nia knows.” Clarke paused. “So it seems, if challenging _Heda_ is what she wants, she would just go directly to Polis. She wouldn’t hide, even with Roan searching for her. She would use Polis and the accounting as safety from him. And she would challenge _Heda_ , and that, too, would provide safety from Roan.”

Atlan didn’t respond and instead waited.

“But from what I’ve heard of Nia, she doesn’t do anything that doesn’t somehow benefit her. She’s in a difficult position, but it seems that if it were as difficult as we think it is, she would come directly here and issue her challenge. Why isn’t she doing that?”

“Perhaps she is on her way to Polis to do that, and is riding with the second group to avoid Roan.”

“I thought about that,” Clarke said. “But then why travel north from the trading stop, away from Polis?”

“A good point.”

“Maybe. These are still only thoughts.” Clarke stared at the map again, as if that would somehow show her what Nia was really doing. “How does a challenge work?” she asked after a few moments. “If Nia challenged _Heda_ , what would happen?”

“Nia would fight _Heda_ herself or she would choose a champion to fight her.”

Clarke frowned. “Would _Heda_ choose a champion?”

“She has the right to do so, but any time a Commander does that, it makes them appear weak. Even if _Heda_ ’s champion defeated Nia or Nia’s champion, it would not be viewed the same, and people would wonder if _Heda_ is too weak to fight her own battles.”

Clarke’s chest seemed to close in on her lungs and she moved away from the table toward the open floor-to-ceiling windows, suddenly in desperate need of air. Of course Lexa would fight her own battles, and she knew there was nothing she could do or say to convince her otherwise. A strong breeze ruffled her hair momentarily and the material of her dress, wrapping it around her legs.

Why she hadn’t thought too hard about what a challenge entailed she didn’t know—maybe she didn’t want to think about Lexa facing Nia or one of her warriors to determine the fate of all she had managed to build. Something even worse occurred to her and she turned and almost bumped into Atlan, who had followed her.

“In a challenge, how is a victor determined?” she asked.

Atlan held her gaze for a few seconds. “It is a fight to the death.”

She gritted her teeth and moved even closer to the window, hoping her feelings didn’t register on her face. Of course it would be to the death. And of course Lexa would fight the challenge herself. That’s the kind of woman she was, but it was also because it was ultimately the best thing to ensure her power should she win, and it would raise her stature. Plus, Lexa would never demand that another fight a battle for her, even if they offered.

Atlan moved to stand next to her within easy reach and Clarke found it oddly comforting, the way Grounders could communicate without speaking, simply by being present.

“You worry about _Heda_ ,” Atlan said after a while.

“ _Sha_.” She continued to stare out the window, a little pissed that Lexa hadn’t told her that she would serve as her own champion in a challenge. She did it to protect Clarke, but it was also a wall between them. Clarke knew there were things Lexa didn’t tell her with regard to politics, and she knew it was probably best that she siloed information to a certain extent, but this was something she should have talked about, since it wasn’t necessarily a political secret. She bit back a sigh. Lexa was being Lexa, and trying to protect her. Clarke would let her know exactly how she felt about that the next chance she got.

Atlan waited for her to say more.

“I can’t say we’ve always been in agreement,” she hedged, “but I appreciate what she’s trying to do, and she’s demonstrated that she’s a leader who cares about her people, and who cares about the other clans. I respect that, and I respect her.”

“She does care.”

Clarke chewed her lip, debating whether to ask the question that had just come into her mind. She decided to reword it. “If Nia challenged _Heda_ , what do you think the outcome will be?” She caught Atlan’s gaze and held it. Atlan lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

“One can never be certain about outcomes. However, _Heda_ is a gifted warrior. I have been privileged to fight alongside her, in the initial months after her Ascension as she began her work to unite the clans. Some were less than appreciative and wanted retribution for slights from the previous Commander. They brought their battles to _Heda_.” A wry smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “To their detriment, because _Heda_ demonstrated early that she is a formidable foe.”

A little swell of pride briefly alleviated the tension that seemed to be wrapped around Clarke’s torso like rope.

“Nia knows this about _Heda_ ,” Atlan continued. “She will thus select a strong champion, and one she feels has the best chance of winning a challenge.”

“What happens to Nia if her champion loses?”

“ _Heda_ may ask the council what punishment they seek for her. There are two choices. Death or banishment.”

“Why doesn’t Nia just fight her, if there’s a chance she could die anyway?”

Atlan drummed her fingertips on her belt and rocked forward on her toes. “Nia is much older than _Heda_ , and though she is also a strong warrior, she no doubt feels some of the things in her bones that come with age and many injuries.”

Or maybe it was something else, Clarke thought. Maybe she was, in a weird way, afraid of Lexa. “Do you know Nia personally?”

“I have interacted with her at council gatherings, but she is not one to mingle much with those who do not have something she wants. She is a strong leader, but her power derives from fear, and eventually people grow tired of that, and of a leader who works only to further her own ends. True strength is not always about the forceful imposition of power.”

“So is Nia just interested in expanding her own power?”

“It seems so. If she were Commander, she would hold an important position in the clans, and would have a certain respect from many.”

“But she’s not interested in a _kongeda_. What would she do as Commander?”

Atlan shook her head. “I cannot speak to her motives, but she would probably war with the clans and try to force them to bow to her will. Which is why _Heda_ must be successful against her in a challenge.”

Clarke nodded and gritted her teeth. The thought of losing Lexa—she forced that out of her mind and stared instead out the window, noting the gathering of storm clouds. She hoped it poured on Nia, wherever she was. “Yes,” she said after a bit. “She must.”

Atlan didn’t respond, and instead stared out the window in companionable silence. Behind them, she heard Indra still talking to Ferris and Gani. From somewhere by the door she picked up other voices, but she wasn’t sure who and she didn’t care enough in the moment to look.

“I have served on the clan council for many years,” Atlan said after a while, “even before Luna became _heda_ of _Floukru_ , and long before _Heda Leksa_ Ascended.”

Clarke moved a little closer, since Atlan had lowered her voice a bit. It didn’t surprise her that she had said such a thing. Grounders often provided a context for something they felt was important to say, and she had come to appreciate this approach.

“The Commander before _Heda_ proved divisive, and though he was mourned, I was relieved, as were others. Many were tired of the continued state of war between the clans.” She adjusted her hands on her belt, stretching her fingers out then hooking her thumbs again. “The _Maunon_ worked to keep us all apart, because they knew if we ever united against them, they would no longer have prey for the Reapings or the Harvest.”

Clarke kept quiet and waited for her to continue. That, too, she had learned while living among Grounders. How to read the pauses in their statements.

“But I do not think any of the clans would have been able to do what you and _Skaikru_ did to the _Maunon_ , no matter that _Heda_ was already creating the _kongeda_ before you came to the ground.”

She stared out the window for a moment then returned her gaze to Clarke’s. “ _Heda_ was uniting the clans because she knew we stood a better chance against the _Maunon_. They did, too. They used their tech to spy on her, and attempted to assassinate her, because they wanted to keep the clans divided. But _Heda_ is careful, and patient when she needs to be. She is also wise about other things.” She lapsed into silence.

Clarke glanced at her, wondering how she’d gotten the scar that started above her left eyebrow. Some battle or skirmish, no doubt.

“I was uncertain, when _Heda_ agreed to ally with _Skaikru_. I tried to convince her not to trust you, but she made a different choice. She saw that _Skaikru_ and you had a better chance at ending _Maun-de_ than we did.”

Still, she didn’t say anything.

“And you, _Klark kom Skaikru_. You proved her right and me wrong. And I admit I am glad of it.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke murmured.

“There is no need to thank me. You have earned my opinion. And I know there are those among your people who do not trust us, as there are still those among my people who do not trust yours. But if you continue to provide the leadership among yours that I have seen, _Skaikru_ will be a worthy addition to the _kongeda_.”

“I hope so. We may be new to this world, but I think we have a lot we can teach as well as a lot we’d like to learn from the clans. A strong _kongeda_ benefits everyone, and it’s how we survived, above the earth. We pulled all our separate groups together and though we, too, had our disagreements, we worked together to find solutions.” For the most part, she amended silently. The Ark wasn’t perfect. Far, far from it. And could be just as brutal if not moreso than Grounders. But in some ways, they had operated as a _kongeda_ of their own, and she understood the benefits of that approach, though she was well aware of the weaknesses.

Atlan nodded. “ _Heda_ sees the strengths in unity, as well, but she understands the gap left in the world now that the _Maunon_ are truly gone.” She regarded her for a moment. “ _Heda_ told me that you insisted that no _Skaikru_ occupy _Maun-de_.”

“Yes. And if it hadn’t flooded, I would have found a way to make sure that nobody could live there. _Ban stedaunon op gon reshwe_ ,”1 she added softly.

They stood again in silence and Clarke felt moisture on the breeze that entered the window. Rain around nightfall, she predicted, and she hoped it washed Nia all the way to the Dead Zone.

“I have been thinking about your observations,” Atlan said, breaking her wishful thinking about Nia. “After Costia died, _Heda_ had the tower staff and guards purged of possible _Azgeda_ spies.”

Clarke looked at her, surprised that she seemed to take it for granted that she knew about Costia.

“Since then, it has been difficult to get spies from the outside into the tower. But it doesn’t mean there might not be someone already in the tower or someone who has access to it to spy for Nia.”

She had assumed that Nia would try to spy, but she had a sense of Lexa’s security consciousness since Costia, so if Nia had anyone in the tower, it most likely would be someone who had been here for a while. Someone who had long ties to Nia. Not necessarily a loyalist, but someone Nia could manipulate. Or blackmail. And someone who wasn’t suspected. Clarke doubted it was Jos, unless she was playing them all for fools and was operating as a double agent. Most likely, if Nia had anybody in the tower telling her anything, it was someone among the servants. That would be easiest.

“Perhaps we are looking in the wrong direction,” Atlan said.

She looked at her.

“Perhaps the threat isn’t Nia outside of Polis. Perhaps it’s someone loyal to her inside the city.”

“I was just thinking that. But what would this person be telling her? And right now, how could this person get information to her?”

“That I don’t know. But any kind of information could be valuable, if it reveals something about _Heda_ and the people around her.”

Like Lexa’s relationship with her, Clarke thought. Would Nia be stupid enough to try to use Clarke against Lexa? To threaten a war with _Skaikru_? She watched as Atlan caught Indra’s eye, then returned her gaze to her.

“My apologies,” Atlan said. “I must speak with Indra.”

She smiled. “ _Ste os_. _Gyon au_. _Mochof gon chichnes_.” 2

Atlan smiled and nodded. “ _Mochof, Klark kom Skaikru_. _Oso na chich op nodotaim_.” 3

“ _Sha_.” Clarke glanced at Indra and gave her a quick nod before Atlan turned and accompanied her out of the room, leaving her alone, and with some time to go to her quarters again, fortunately. She needed to contact Kane and tell him about these latest developments.

The two guards who had been with her since that morning stood in the corridor, waiting for her. They followed her without a word to the stairwell.

  
1 _Ban stedaunon op gon reshwe_ : Leave the dead to rest in peace  
2 _Ste os_ *: It’s okay [I improvised here. Literally translated, it’s “is good,” which I thought could work as “it’s okay.”]... _Gyon au_. _Mochof gon chichnes_ : Go. Thank you for the conversation  
3 _Oso na chich op nodotaim_ : We [inclusive of listener] will talk another time.  

###

Clarke stood on the balcony with her radio and tried again to get through to Raven. Finally, after a few more tries and the annoying hiss of static, she got a response.

“Hey,” Raven said. “Clarke? Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you just talk to Kane earlier today?”

“Well, yes, but there’s some news since then.”

“Oh. Shit. Hold on,” Raven said and Clarke leaned back against the sun-warmed wall, the radio clutched in her hand. Hissing. Clarke sighed with frustration, thinking she had lost the signal.

“Clarke? It’s Kane.”

“Hey. Where are you now?”

“Over halfway to Arkadia.”

“Have you seen any _Azgeda_?”

“Let me check with Wash. Stand by.”

She waited again, hoping the signal would remain reasonably strong, since by the clouds to the west, a storm was moving in.

“You there?” Kane said.

“Go ahead.”

“Wash has scouts out and they’re reporting a few _Azgeda_ , but they’re all on their way back to their territory.”

“Okay, here’s the news. Nia is no longer in control of _Azgeda_.”

Pause. “What? What do you mean?”

“Her estranged son, Roan, has taken it. Nia was on her way there after Lexa confronted her and called her to accounting a couple days ago, but she never went and instead disappeared.”

Pause. Hiss and crackle. The seconds seemed to crawl. She moved closer to the railing, thinking maybe the signal would be better there.

“—Clarke?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

“Say again about Nia. She’s missing?” He was coming in better now.

“Yes. Lexa thinks she’ll try to get into Polis and challenge her, but she has scouts out looking for her.

“Do we know what Roan wants to do in terms of the coalition?”

“He seems to want to ally with Lexa and join it.”

“Is there a chance Nia could take _Azgeda_ back?” He sounded tinny, but at least he was audible.

“Doesn’t seem like it. Roan has lots of support. He’s looking to officially challenge her.”

“Do you have idea where Nia might be now?”

“Not really. Most likely she’s working her way back to Polis, but tell Wash what’s happening, in case she’s moving away from the city and goes that way. Lexa wants her under surveillance, at the very least.”

Hissing and a series of clicks answered her. She moved to a different place on the balcony.

“—Clarke?” Kane said.

“Here. Go ahead.”

“Will Nia show for her accounting?”

“Lexa doesn’t think so, but she’s preparing for various scenarios. The feeling is that Nia is going to formally challenge her. I’m not sure what that means, or how it’s issued, but Lexa’s preparing for that, too.” Knowing Lexa, it probably involved various strategies.

“Copy that. I’ll be talking to Abby later. I haven’t talked to her yet about the _natrona_. I’m not sure she’ll support your decision, but I’ll work on her.”

“Kane,” she said, forceful. “We talked about this. You cannot allow them back into Arkadia. It’ll affect how we’re viewed by the _kongeda_. These people are complicit in the deaths of _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ , and in the plot to destroy Polis and Arkadia. They are traitors to _Skaikru_ and should be treated as such. Do you think the _kongeda_ would appreciate _Skaikru_ taking people back in who were involved with those who killed _Trikru_? On the Ark, they would’ve been floated.”

“No,” he conceded. “You’re right.”

“I need you on this. I need you to back this up. We’ve worked too hard to get this far in terms of the support of the _kongeda_. Think about what we would have done on the Ark. At least here they have a chance at survival. It just won’t be with our help.”

He was quiet long enough that Clarke thought the signal had dropped until he spoke again. “Have _you_ considered serving as Chancellor?” he said, and she heard the smile in his voice.

“No, but thank you. I think I can do more good as representative.” She softened her tone.

“You’ll do amazing things wherever you are.” He paused, as if he was talking to someone off-radio. Then, “We should be in Arkadia after nightfall. We’ll talk more tomorrow unless anything comes up. Keep the radio close. If we see Nia or if _Azgeda_ seems involved in something they shouldn’t be, we’ll contact you.”

“Okay. Out.” She waited a bit to see if Kane said anything else despite her sign-off, but all she got was more faint hissing. It was like white noise, now. She turned the radio off and chewed her lip for a few moments, thinking about what she and Atlan had talked about and the possibility of at least one spy in the tower. Atlan had probably told Indra that, if Indra and Lexa hadn’t already been thinking about it.

Still, why would Nia risk war with the _kongeda_ and especially _Skaikru_ if she came after her to get at Lexa? It made sense to do something that horrible to Costia, before Lexa had consolidated the clans, because Lexa didn’t have the leverage she did now. Did Nia think that doing something like that now would put _Skaikru_ at odds with Lexa?

She scowled and leaned on the railing. That made no sense, either. _Skaikru_ was part of the _kongeda_. Part of Lexa’s people. Taking Clarke—and it sucked to think about that—wouldn’t put Lexa at odds with anybody. It might, actually, make Nia’s position even worse, because _Wanheda_ seemed to be popular with some.

No, the only reason Nia would take her hostage was if there was some expected outcome that benefited her. Like, say, becoming Commander or creating a position where she controlled the Commander.

Another possibility occurred to her. Like Atlan said, perhaps they were looking at this the wrong way. Maybe Nia wanted _Wanheda_ as something to bargain with _Skaikru_ , and taking her hostage had nothing to do with Lexa. Which meant that Nia would also most likely try to find a way to get rid of Lexa so she wouldn’t have to challenge her.

From the position of the sunlight through the gathering clouds, late afternoon was upon them. She had changed out of the dress, though she loved the expression on Lexa’s face when she saw her in it. But she figured anything could happen and it was probably better to be dressed for that, so she had put on dark trousers and a dark shirt as well as her boots.

At some point, she hoped to wear a dress again, if only for Lexa’s expression. She smiled and put the radio into a small pouch she had tied to her belt before she went back inside where she retrieved a piece of blank parchment off the stack on the shelf and spread it out on the table. From the several pieces of hardened charcoal next to the stack she chose two then set to work, sketching portraits of Murphy and Jaha, side-by-side on the lower part of the parchment. If they could find Murphy, they might be able to figure out what Jaha was doing.

She worked until she realized that the light was fading and a trip to the balcony revealed more storm clouds overhead and the heavy smell of impending rain. A breeze ruffled her hair, carrying the chill of both nightfall and unsettled weather.

A knock sounded at the door and she stepped back inside. “ _Min yu op_.”

Balta entered, carrying a tray of food. Clarke moved the parchment she was working on to give her room to set the tray on the table.

“I’m not even going to ask how you always seem to know when I should eat,” Clarke said with a wry smile after she put the parchment back on the shelf. She didn’t admit she was hungry.

“The same way you no doubt do,” she said as she poured Clarke a cup of tea. “Healers seem to know these things.”

Clarke made a noncommittal noise as Balta started lighting candles. She went to wash her hands and tried to scrub most of the charcoal off her fingers. Balta had already set the food out, which included a plate loaded with slices of meat, several pieces of a white cheese with a sharp flavor that Clarke liked, and chopped crispy vegetables. Two small loaves of bread had their own plate.

“The council has no scheduled business for the rest of the day.”

Clarke laughed as she sat down. “It’s the unscheduled I’m worried about.”

Balta smiled. “You learn quickly,” she said. “Do you require anything else?”

She looked up at her. “ _Sha_. _Yu choj op kom ai_. _Yu gada taim in_?” 4

The expression on Balta’s face suggested she was a little taken aback at her request, but she smiled again and sat down to her right. “I do have time, but I only brought food for you.”

“There’s more than enough here for both of us.” Clarke grinned and handed her one of her knives. “Dig in,” she said.

Balta chuckled and sliced a piece of bread and piled it with meat and vegetables. “I confess I have not had much time today to eat.”

“Life in the tower, I suppose.” She poured more tea into her cup and pushed it toward Balta. “I spoke with Atlan earlier.”

She didn’t respond, but she didn’t take a bite, either, and watched Clarke with interest.

“Do you think it’s possible that Nia has spies in the tower?”

“Possibly.” She took a bite and chewed and swallowed. “After Costia was taken, Titus purged the networks among staff and guards, and he has been even more vigilant since then. It has been more difficult for possible spies, but it’s not impossible, either.”

“Spies provided information to Nia about Costia and her relationship to _Heda_ , didn’t they?”

Balta took a drink before she responded. “ _Sha_. One was a servant, originally from _Azgeda_. She had lived for years in Polis, and started serving in the tower a year before _Heda_ ’a predecessor died.”

“Why did she spy for Nia?”

“Old loyalties. Nia had once helped her family, before she became _plana_.”

Clarke made another open-face sandwich with the meat and vegetables on a piece of bread. “What happened to her?”

“Dead.” Balta took another bite and chewed. Outside, Clarke thought she heard the wind picking up. Neither spoke for a while and instead chewed in silence.

“What if,” Clarke finally said, “Nia does have at least one spy in the tower, but what if the purpose isn’t to find out what her relationships might be?”

She looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“What if the spy is an assassin, or possibly working with an assassin and the purpose is to kill _Heda_ , so that Nia doesn’t have to issue a challenge? All she has to do then is to put Ontari into a position to become Commander, since she is _Natblida_.” She wondered how she could sound so calm, talking about this. “Because it doesn’t make much sense for her to come after me, since that would bring war from the _kongeda_ and _Skaikru_.”

“This is something that had occurred to me, as well,” she admitted. "She may not have felt Ontari was prepared when _Heda_ Ascended."

“So she had no leverage, really, to become Commander or install one besides finding out whatever secrets she could from Costia and then using them in a challenge against _Heda_.”

“ _Sha_.” Balta sipped the tea, mostly expressionless but Clarke knew it hid whatever she was feeling.

“Have you discussed this possibility with _Heda_?”

She set the cup down. “ _Heda_ is always aware of that possibility.”

“But is she aware of it in terms of right now, and the current situation? Nia may be planning to launch an assassination plot within the next day or two, before she gets any closer to Polis.” Saying the words imbued her with extra urgency and Clarke leaned closer. “It wasn’t making sense to me, that Nia would come to Polis right now after _Azgeda_ fell to Roan, just to challenge _Heda_. Because what if she loses? Then she loses everything. From what I know of her, she’s not stupid. So why not try to assassinate _Heda_ and force the _Fleimkepa_ to pass the spirit of the Commander to Ontari?” However that worked. It occurred to her that an assassin could be anywhere in the tower, including among the guards who stood outside her quarters right now. Her stomach hurt a little at the thought.

Balta said nothing for a few moments, but her gaze drilled into Clarke’s. “Titus and I have been searching the networks within the tower today. Indra is also aware of the possibility because there was a suggestion today that the man working with Jos before she agreed to help _Heda_ may have been working with another loyalist in the tower.”

“Did you find anything?”

“Not yet.”

“What about the council representatives?”

“Titus is checking them again, as well.”

Probably best that she didn’t know much about what that entailed.

“But if Nia has a spy here—even an assassin—why would she wait until now to attempt to kill _Heda_?” Balta mused aloud.

“I don’t know. Timing, maybe? Availability of an opportunity?” She thought of council reps. They were back in Polis, now, and thus enjoyed proximity to Lexa. “If it’s a council rep, they’d obviously have to wait until they were in Polis…” she let her voice trail off, knowing Balta would understand the implications. Nia’s accounting meant that all the representatives would be in the city. And that would be perfect cover, she thought, for a spy or assassin among the reps.

Balta sat perfectly still, her gaze still on Clarke’s. “I think perhaps you may have a point,” she said softly.

“Where is _Heda_ now?”

“The guard house.”

Clarke stood. “She needs to consider this possibility. The sooner the better. I’ll go to the guard house. You find Titus. Tell him what we talked about.”

“Wait.” Balta gripped her arm. “You are in danger, as well. Nia has always wanted to use _Wanheda_ to further her plans.”

“I think _Heda_ is the more important target now—”

The door to her quarters slammed open and Clarke reflexively grabbed her knife off the table and brandished it. Lexa practically burst in, followed by four guards, weapons at the ready.

“Clarke,” Lexa said as she lowered her sword. “You are all right?” She stopped a few paces from the table, concern in her eyes, and from her voice and breathing, it sounded as if she had been running.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said automatically, heart pounding from her adrenaline rush. “ _En yu_?”

She nodded and Clarke almost collapsed with relief.

“ _Lufa au_.” 5 Lexa made a gesture and two guards began searching Clarke’s quarters while two others left. Clarke thought she heard them entering Lexa’s rooms. One of the guards moved into the bathroom while the other knelt to look under her bed. He then went to the balcony and leaned over the railing, where he looked down, then up.

The guard emerged from the bathroom. “ _Em klir_ , _Heda_.” 6

The other guard stepped back in from the balcony. “ _Em klir seimtaim_ ,” he said.

“ _Os_. _Lufa moun wogeda au_.” 7

“ _Sha_.” The two guards left the room and Clarke heard and saw other guards moving around in the corridor.

“ _Chit kom au_?” 8 Clarke asked. She still gripped her knife.

“ _Heda_ ,” a guard said in the doorway before Lexa could respond. She turned and regarded him.

“ _Yu wogeda em klir_.” He glanced at Clarke and Balta then back at Lexa.

“ _Sis moun gonakru au_ ,”9 Lexa said.

“ _Sha_.” He left and Clarke heard him ask someone which rooms had not yet been searched.

Lexa turned back to Clarke and Balta. She had not sheathed her sword. “It is not safe for you here,” she said to Clarke.

“For you, either. What happened?”

“There may be an assassin in the tower. Danyel was injured in an attack.”

“Danyel?” Clarke glanced at Balta, and her puzzled expression probably mirrored her own. “Where?”

“In his quarters. He was stabbed with a poison blade.”

“Will he live?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll go attend to him, as well,” Balta said. She gave Clarke an enigmatic glance. “Where is Titus?” she asked Lexa.

“He has already begun a search and is ensuring the security of the Conclave.”

Balta nodded. “I will check on Danyel and then find Titus. And Indra?”

“She and Atlan are arranging more security for the council representatives.”

“And for you and Clarke?” Balta raised her eyebrows.

“Indra is bringing a few more guards to this level.”

“That’s not good enough,” Balta said. “The assassin will no doubt know where your quarters are.”

“I have a plan,” Lexa said. “Now go. Titus and Indra will inform you.”

She looked at her dubiously, but inclined her head. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” To Clarke, she said, “ _Mochof_. _Oso choj op nodotaim_.”

Clarke nodded and turned her attention to Lexa as Balta stepped out of the room. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

Lexa didn’t respond and instead sheathed her sword and Clarke noticed crusted black on the knuckles of her right hand.

She returned her knife to its place on her belt and moved over to her and took her hand to inspect it. “What happened?”

“Sparring,” she said. “It’s nothing.”

“Sit down.”

“Clarke—”

“Sit down. We can talk while I clean that up.” She went to the bathroom where she dampened a cloth and grabbed a couple more as well as the small jar of the salve Balta had used on her wounds. Lexa had decided to listen to her and she was seated in one of the chairs at the table. Clarke pulled another chair close and started carefully cleaning the crusted blood away on her hand away. Lexa didn’t tense or flinch as she worked.

“Tell me what happened,” Clarke said as she worked carefully on her hand. The skin was scraped raw across three of them, and a split between two had bled, but it wouldn’t require stitches.

“I was sparring, but a tower guard alerted me to what happened.”

“Did you see Danyel?”

“Yes. He was stabbed.”

“How did the person get in?”

“He says he doesn’t know, that he was resting and didn’t hear anything.”

Clarke finished with the damp cloth and set it on the table. “Something isn’t right about that.”

“I agree.”

She looked up into Lexa’s eyes. “If this person was an assassin, why wouldn’t he have done a better job at killing Danyel?”

“I had the same thought. As did Titus and Indra. So we have put Danyel under surveillance, though he thinks it’s for his own safety.”

“He also could have stabbed himself,” Clarke muttered as she opened the jar of salve. She thought about how Gustus had tried to frame Raven for trying to poison Lexa that day so many months ago and when she looked up at her again, she thought maybe Lexa was remembering that, too.

“The angle of the wound and where it is does not suggest that,” Lexa said, tone dry. She fell silent and Clarke carefully rubbed salve into her wounds then tore a strip from one of the clean cloths she had brought and wrapped it around her hand.

“Atlan told me what you spoke about.” Lexa’s gaze remained on her hand.

From the corridor, Clarke heard guards talking about which rooms they had checked. “I’ve been thinking more about this since then. It makes no sense for Nia to challenge you right now. She has too much to lose.” She gave Lexa’s hand a gentle squeeze before she released it. “She wouldn’t risk doing anything to _me_ because that brings war from the _kongeda_ and _Skaikru_ and she has no recourse if that happens. I think she’d want to remove _you_ as an obstacle to installing Ontari as Commander, and she probably wants to do it soon, before she has to respond about the accounting. _You’re_ her target.”

Lexa was about to respond when a guard entered. “ _Heda_ , _em klir_.”

“ _Os_. _Ai raun en stet gon Indra raun_.” 10

“ _Sha_.” She left and closed the door and as soon as Clarke heard it click shut, she slid her hand to the back of Lexa’s neck and pulled her into a kiss, needing that kind of connection with her. It heated quickly into something more than a greeting, as if both were assuring each other that they were here, that they were safe.

Clarke pulled away first, letting her fingers trail along Lexa’s cheek. “Are there any other injuries I need to look at?”

Lexa smiled. “Perhaps a few bruises. For your viewing pleasure later.” She brushed her lips over Clarke’s, a light touch that still managed to stoke the heat between her thighs even more.

She tamped those thoughts down. “You know I won’t forget that.” She picked up the jar of salve and waved it for emphasis then put it in one of her trouser pockets. “What do you think about what I said?”

“It has merit. Though Nia is cruel, she isn’t generally impulsive. Trying to hurt you or kidnap you would risk war with the _kongeda_ and _Skaikru_ and I doubt she has access to enough forces to defend her should that happen.”

“Unlike what happened when she took Costia,” Clarke said. “Then, there was no _kongeda_ in place, and she had control of _Azgeda_. So in terms of the pure mechanics of her plan, it made sense for her to target Costia rather than you directly, because she knew that Costia might reveal things to her that you wouldn’t.” Clarke took Lexa’s uninjured hand and interlaced their fingers, offering support while discussing this part of her past. “But Costia didn’t, either, and you turned out to be very effective faster than Nia might have anticipated. And the situation is different, now. Nia is in a very different position.” She paused. “She’s not coming to Polis for the accounting or to challenge you. She’s coming to force Titus to validate Ontari as Commander. She’s planning to kill you.” Clarke gritted her teeth. “You have no idea how much I hate saying that.”

Lexa ran the thumb of her injured hand over her cheek. “She will find it’s harder to do that than she hopes. What purpose does the attack on Danyel serve, then?”

“I don’t know. But something isn’t making sense about that.” She locked her gaze to Lexa’s. “Unless he’s part of the plot.”

Lexa stiffened, but her expression told Clarke that she had already considered that.

“But why would Nia want to create a diversion through injuring Danyel?” Clarke got up. “What purpose does that serve? It draws attention to him and if he’s part of the plot, why would he or Nia want that?” She stopped, thinking. “Who notified you about Danyel?”

“A tower guard.”

“Just one?”

“It’s standard,” she assured her. “If there is an emergency in the tower and I am in Polis but not within the tower, one guard is sent to inform me. That ensures a force remains with the tower.”

“Standard,” she repeated slowly. “So it’s something that’s common knowledge.”

“Among guards and servants, yes.”

“Would the council know that?”

“Some.”

Clarke was silent, her hand warm in Lexa’s. “Was there any chance on your way back to the tower from the guard house that an assassin could have attacked you? Maybe an archer from Danyel’s floor?”

“His quarters are on the opposite side from the guardhouse. An archer would have had to go into another room across from his, and that still leaves the question about why Danyel was stabbed.” She sat back but did not let go of Clarke’s hand.

“What about witnesses? Who left Danyel’s room after he was stabbed? It was barely nightfall, and there are lots of people moving around on that floor.”

“Atlan and Ferris are looking into that.”

Clarke made a frustrated noise. “Danyel is a diversion, whether he’s in on this or not. So in the confusion after he announced he’d been stabbed, something happened that we don’t know about yet. The attack on Danyel could also have served as a signal to someone.” Clarke stood and started pacing. “Killing Danyel might have created problems for Nia, if that’s who’s behind this. It would have brought more people from his clan here. And probably others from the other clans, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s probably the last thing Nia wants, is more _kongeda_ warriors in Polis. So if this is part of a plan she has—and I’m going to assume that she’s behind this—maybe the attack on Danyel is either a diversion or a signal to someone already here. Maybe both.”

A sharp knock interrupted them and Clarke glanced at Lexa, who stood.

“ _Chon ste_?” 11 Clarke asked.

“Indra.”

“ _Min yu op_.”

Indra slipped in and closed the door. “There was a servant, _Heda_ , that left Danyel’s room around the time he was attacked. A young woman, but nobody recognized her.”

Lexa frowned. “Why do people say she is a servant?”

“She was carrying a tray with empty dishes. It was thus assumed she was a servant.”

“So she stabs Danyel, then just leaves with a tray and dishes? Danyel didn’t shout? And where were Danyel’s guards?” Clarke looked from Indra to Lexa then back to Indra.

Lexa crossed her arms, expression in her eyes hard. “What do Danyel’s guards say?”

“They say nothing was amiss. The servant brought some food, the guards tested it, and Danyel dismissed the guards to the corridor.”

“Wait,” Clarke said. “This servant. Did she stay in the room after the guards left?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Indra said.

“Why? Her job was done and the food was tested. Why did she stay?” She caught Lexa’s eye. “Danyel may be lying.”

Lexa’s frown deepened. “I would speak with him again. Clarke, will you accompany me?”

“Definitely.”

“ _Heda_ , it may not be safe for either of you to roam the tower.”

“It may be safer than staying here. A moving target is harder to hit than one that stays in its place.” She started for the door, Clarke behind her.

Indra opened the door and without another word Lexa went directly to the stairwell. The representatives’ quarters were on a floor many below this one, but Clarke understood why Lexa chose the stairs over the lift in this instance. Faster, and they could duck onto any floor between here and there, which might confuse an attacker. Several guards accompanied them, and it was a tight fit, which made Clarke a little nervous, but that, too, might prove a deterrent because there wasn’t a clear avenue to either her or Lexa. Unless one of the guards—she put that out of her head for now.

On the representatives’ floor, the mood was tense. People stood in small groups in the corridor, and at sight of Lexa striding down the corridor, they fell back along the walls and nodded and murmured respectful greetings as she passed. Atlan stood outside an open door talking to a male servant and she looked up as Lexa approached.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said. The servant turned and said the same thing then stepped back, out of Lexa’s way.

“ _Ai gaf in kom chich Danyel op_.” 12

“ _Sha_.” She stepped away from the doorway and Lexa went in, Clarke and Indra behind her.

The room mimicked so many others in the tower, Clarke thought. Similar rustic furnishings, a couple of shelves, to the balcony. Several candles burned since darkness had fallen, along with the first of the rain, Clarke determined since one of the balcony doors was partially open. Danyel was seated at a table, his upper right arm bandaged. Balta was putting small vials back into a kit. Clarke recognized them as various antidotes for poisons.

“Danyel,” Lexa said and he started to get up but she waved at him to stay seated and she sat down in one of the other chairs near his. Surprise registered in his eyes, but he said nothing. He looked a little pale, even in the flickering light of the candles. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, Clarke decided, even with the scar on his face and eye patch, which make him kind of rakish. She estimated he was in his sixties, which for life on the ground was impressive.

“Tell me of the servant who brought you food this evening,” Lexa said.

“There is nothing to tell. She brought my evening meal and left.”

“Except your guards say otherwise.”

He stiffened.

“You dismissed your guards after they tested the food and the servant remained.”

The silence in the room stretched tight.

“ _Danyel kom Delfikru_ ,” Lexa said in a low, dangerous voice, “Since you are a representative of the council, I will give you one more chance to tell me of the servant who brought you food this evening.”

“I don’t know who she was,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t recognize her.”

Lexa leaned forward. “Do not test me,” she said, her voice like the sharpened blades of her knives. “Why did she remain after you dismissed your guards?”

He licked his lips and sighed. “A man gets lonely, so far from home.”

Clarke stared at him.

“Who is she?” Lexa pressed.

“I don’t know her name. She brought my food this morning and this evening. She seemed…interested.”

Clarke glanced at Balta, whose expression was unreadable.

“Why did she stab you?” Lexa asked, gesturing at his arm. “Or are your _interests_ a little different than those of others?”

Clarke clamped her teeth together to keep from snorting.

He actually appeared mildly offended.

“I don’t care what your _interests_ are,” Lexa continued. “I want to know who this servant is and why she stabbed you.”

“I don’t know who she is,” he insisted. “I didn’t ask. But she seemed interested, and I thought things were progressing quite well, and then she stabbed me.”

“And she just walked out?” Lexa practically scoffed. “She just left without you shouting and alerting your guards?”

“I was embarrassed.”

Clarke again had to force herself from snorting.

“ _Heda_ , you know how people talk. I was stabbed by a mere servant.”

“Describe her.”

He offered a detailed description, right down to the color of her hair and how she had it braided, to her eye color and possible age. Too detailed, Clarke thought, though it was possible that Danyel had one of those memories.

“She must have been an assassin, of some sort,” he said after he had finished. “Why else would she have a poisoned blade?”

“What enemies do you have, that someone would send an assassin after you here?” Indra demanded.

“Everyone has enemies,” he shot back and Clarke refrained from adding something about how this particular assassin seemed to be inept at her job.

Lexa stood. “There will be more questions,” she said. “Until I say otherwise, you are confined to your quarters for your safety, until we can find this servant.”

He nodded, which Clarke found odd. Danyel was generally one to challenge Lexa on her decisions. Lexa moved to the door, and Clarke and Indra followed. Once in the corridor, Lexa spoke with one of the guards outside Danyel’s room. He called another guard over and together they, too, described the servant. For the most part, from what Clarke heard, their descriptions correlated with Danyel’s.

“I want this servant found,” Lexa said to Atlan and Ferris. She was about to say something else when Balta joined them.

“The poison was mild,” she said. “And the cut was not deep. I administered an antidote anyway and will look in on him later. Right now, I’m going to find Titus.”

Lexa nodded and looked at Clarke. “Go with Indra.”

“ _Heda_ —” she started.

“Go.” A flash of pleading in her eyes accompanied the statement.

“ _Sha_ ,” she relented, but she hated leaving Lexa, hated knowing that regardless of what Danyel claimed had happened, something was wrong, and Lexa might be at risk. She held her gaze for a moment, then followed Indra to the stairwell, a guard on either side of her, which forced people to press against the walls to give them room to pass.

They didn’t go up, toward her quarters. Instead, they went down. Clarke didn’t ask why or where, and suddenly Indra stopped on a landing and motioned at the door to this floor. Clarke estimated they were just a few floors above the ground. She started to say something but Indra put a finger over her lips and opened the door to the corridor, barely lit by a single torch in a wall sconce about halfway down.

Indra took the lead. This floor was like the other residential floors, with doors on either side of the corridor denoting rooms. Some of the doors were open and others were closed. It felt unused, and smelled faintly musty. Indra took the single torch as she passed and led them a few more yards to a closed door. She opened it and motioned for Clarke to go inside. Once she did, Indra stepped in and closed the door behind her.

Clarke glanced around in the dim light of the torch. Table, chairs, shelves, bed. Two waterskins sat on the table, next to a small bundle. Indra checked the dark cloth that covered the balcony doors before she lit a few candles, which seemed to make the room appear smaller, though it was probably comparable in size to hers. With no view of the outside, Clarke’s unease grew. She was no longer comfortable in closed spaces like this. Indra checked the rest of the room, including under the bed.

“You will stay here tonight,” she said, and Clarke glanced around again in the dim light of the torch.

“What is this place?” she asked.

“ _Heda_ keeps safe rooms in the tower and elsewhere for situations such as this. She will probably move you to another tomorrow.”

“What about her?”

“ _Heda_ will also take precautions.”

That wasn’t the answer Clarke wanted to hear, but she didn’t push. “Please, at least tell me you didn’t believe Danyel.”

Indra almost smiled, from the twitch of her lips. “No, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , I did not. But we must all tread carefully in this matter. We are being watched, and we must act as if we believe Danyel’s safety is at risk.” She glanced around the room. “You will find all you need here.”

Except Lexa, she thought, but she nodded.

“There is a bar across the door. Use it. You will not see guards in the corridor, but they are close.” She went to the door. “It is best that you not leave this room tonight. Someone will fetch you when it is time to move you again.” She slipped out before Clarke said anything else. With a sigh, she slid the bar into place over the door then went to stand near the balcony. She couldn’t open these doors without moving the cloth that covered them, and clearly, the cloth was there to keep light from being seen in the room. And if she blew the candles out, then she had no light. Nevertheless, she heard the slap of rain against the glass of the doors.

So she paced, grimly amused that she had a difficult time, now, tolerating enclosed spaces when she had been born into them and lived most of her life within them. Her pacing helped her think, and she again went over what had transpired that evening. Someone—a woman, Danyel and his guards claimed—entered his room. Danyel claimed she was a servant, and he claimed there was some sexual interest between them. Then she stabbed him and he didn’t know why.

If he had tried to force himself on her, that would of course be a good reason to stab him. But why stab him in the back of the arm, with a lightly poisoned blade? No servant walked around with a poisoned blade to use for self-defense. And if it truly was self-defense, why would she stab him in the back of his arm?

Clarke stopped and stared at one of the candles. Perhaps the knife was already in Danyel’s quarters, ready to go. The servant used it to carefully stab him and thus create a diversion, so that everybody would be looking for her and focused on him. Meanwhile, whatever else Nia—and Clarke was sure this had something to do with her—launched another part of her plan. And she knew it had something to do with Lexa, that this time, Nia would target her directly.

Clarke glared at the door. She would kill Nia herself if she had the opportunity. Frustrated, she started pacing again, and debated whether she should slip out. The rain picked up and hammered at the balcony doors. It was loud enough that she almost didn’t hear the tapping coming from the door. She moved closer, listening, hand on the hilt of one of her knives.

“Clarke,” came Lexa’s voice, barely above a whisper, but Clarke would have recognized it regardless. She moved the bar away and opened the door just enough to let Lexa in. Once she had entered, Lexa slid the bar back into place and turned toward her, pushing the hood of her cloak back. She started to say something but Clarke practically threw herself into her arms. Lexa stumbled back against the door and grunted in what sounded like surprise but her arms tightened around Clarke and she buried her face in her neck.

“You are all right?” she asked against her skin and it sent a welcome chill down Clarke’s spine.

“Yes. You?” She pulled back to look at her, noting that she had taken her facepaint off but the left side of her face was painted in a tattoo reminiscent of Balta’s. “So I’m guessing you’re not _Heda_ right now.”

She smiled. “No, I’m not. _Heda_ is in her quarters, and you are in yours.”

“How sad that is, that I am not in your quarters with you.”

“Very.” She smiled again and kissed her and Clarke sank into the feel of her lips and tongue, and everything, in this moment, was exactly how it needed to be, in the circle of her arms, surrounded by her warmth and scent.

Lexa lightly nipped Clarke’s lower lip before she pulled away and Clarke instantly missed her mouth, but she stepped back so Lexa could remove the cloak. She hung it on the back of a chair and took her swords out of her harness and lay them on the table, next to the waterskins.

“Are you staying?” Clarke asked, daring to hope.

“ _Sha_ ,” she said with a grin that warmed every part of her.

“Then I have time to see what other wounds you acquired in your sparring session today.” She unbuckled Lexa’s harness. “Seems I just put this on you earlier today.”

“Mmm. But I like it much better when you take it off.”

She looked up into her eyes and her breath caught at Lexa’s expression. She refrained from kissing her because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop and instead she set the harness on the table and pulled Lexa’s shirt out of her pants.

“I’ll do it,” Lexa said, and she carefully took her shirt off, her movements a little stiff.

“Shit,” Clarke said at the large bruise on her ribcage below her right breast. “I didn’t realize—I’m sorry I hugged you so hard,” she said, leaning in for a better look.

“I’m not.” She did hiss a little, though, as Clarke gently prodded around the bruise.

“I don’t think anything’s broken. You’d know if that were the case. You wouldn’t be able to breathe or even move normally without pain.” She carefully unwrapped her bindings, noting that a little bit of the bruise had been hidden by them. She turned Lexa so she could look at her back. Five bruises half the size of the one on her front marred her shoulderblades. “How did this even happen? I’ve watched you fight.”

Lexa chuckled. “You’ve watched me fight mostly those who are still inexperienced. When fighting those with more experience—” she shrugged. “It did take them attacking all at once to inflict these.”

“Them? All at once? How many were you fighting?”

“Five, at one point.”

“Lexa—”

“Clarke,” she said, softly, “that’s what warrior training is about. We have to be prepared for many different things. And I have not practiced in more than a few days.”

“Fine,” she relented, wanting to hear her name on Lexa’s lips again. She took the jar of salve out of her pocket and rubbed it gently into the bruises on her back.

Lexa put her hands on the table and leaned over a little, the only sign that what Clarke was doing was uncomfortable the tightening of her muscles beneath her fingertips.

“Danyel is still lying,” Clarke said after a while.

“ _Sha_. And this incident is a diversion of some kind, but I’m not sure what it accomplished.”

“You think it did do that?”

“I think it best to assume so.”

“Would it have somehow given someone else time and opportunity to access the tower, while everyone is focused on Danyel?”

“Possibly, but when there is an emergency in the tower, the ground floor guards increase security.”

She gently rubbed salve into the last of the bruises on her back. “How? Do they bring other guards from the guard house?”

“Sometimes.”

“Did someone check the cells?”

“Indra did. Everything is how it should be there.”

“I meant to ask you earlier—Atlan mentioned two other _natrona_ that _Trishana_ captured near _Maun-de_.”

“ _Sha_. Not Sanders or Pike. When they arrive, we will talk with them.”

“They are _natrona_.” She took a bit more salve out of the jar. “And I will banish them accordingly.”

“Let us determine what they know first.”

Clarke finished with Lexa’s back and she leaned in and carefully placed a kiss between her shoulderblades, where there was no bruise. Lexa made a soft noise and Clarke let her lips linger for a moment. “Turn around,” she finally said.

She did and Clarke’s breath caught in her chest, and she couldn’t speak, as she watched the way the light from the two closest candles danced across her torso. She forced herself to focus on the bruise and she set to work with the salve, thinking that Lexa’s musculature and the lines of her breasts were like the statues she’d seen pictures of in the Ark’s databanks, from long-dead eras of human history whose artists celebrated the human form and carved bone and sinew out of marble so realistically that it was if the statues had only paused in the middle of their next actions.

“What do we do from here?” Clarke asked as she worked, trying to distract herself from what she really wanted to do.

“Tomorrow we will perhaps have a better idea of where Nia may be, though if there is indeed an assassin in the tower, they may take this opportunity to visit my quarters."

"And?"

"There have been preparations. If not, Titus and Balta may have more information, as well, about this situation with Danyel.”

“Which of your guards knows that it’s not you in your quarters tonight?” She looked up at her as she put the lid on the salve.

“None, ideally.”

“Not even the usual ones?”

“Not even those.”

“How did you manage that?”

She smiled. “It’s not important,” she said as she hooked her fingers on Clarke’s belt and pulled her close, into a kiss.

“You’re wiping the salve off on my shirt,” Clarke murmured against her lips.

“All the more reason to take it off,” Lexa said, low and sultry.

“After all that work I just did?”

“Mmm. All the more reason for you to do it again in the morning.” And she tugged at Clarke’s shirt, and Clarke let her, let her pull it over her head and drop it on the floor. And she let her undo her bindings and drop those on the floor, too, and she shivered as Lexa’s hands rested on her ribs, just below her breasts. Her lips tracked up her throat to her jaw and Clarke buried her fingers in Lexa’s hair and tilted her head so Lexa could do whatever the hell she wanted to her neck.

“I realized something today,” Lexa said against the skin of her throat.

Clarke waited, even though it seemed every one of her nerves was on fire, that everywhere Lexa’s bare chest touched hers was molten, so quickly did she respond to her.

“I know that it’s dangerous for you, being with me.” She stopped kissing her neck and instead stared into her eyes.

“We’ve had this conversation,” Clarke said. “I know that, too, but it doesn’t change what I want.”

“Nor does it change what I want.” She stroked her cheek. “I will do everything in my power to protect you, even if it means sending you away.” She put her fingers over Clarke’s mouth to keep her from responding. “But what I realized is that if I have to do that to protect you, it will never be permanent, because I don’t want to be away from you for long.” She kissed her forehead and Clarke felt like she was melting, that she would somehow dissolve right into Lexa, that they were somehow that connected. It should have been scary, but instead it was exciting and safe and something so much more. Something so deep and warm and yes, powerful, like the strong current of a river.

She leaned her forehead against Lexa’s. “Good. Because I’m not going to let you be away from me for long,” she said, her lips dangerously close to Lexa’s. “You may be _Heda_ , but I am _Wanheda_ , and I’m very good at getting what I want.”

She smiled. “Yes. You are. So what is it you want right now?”

“Now? I just want you close.” She touched her lips to Lexa’s. “I _need_ you close. And I don’t want to think anymore tonight about the shit going on outside this room.”

“ _Wanheda_ has spoken,” Lexa said softly, and made talking impossible as she slowly backed Clarke to the bed and they made a collage on the floor with the rest of their clothing. The chill of the room raised goosebumps on Clarke’s skin but she scarcely noticed as Lexa lowered her to the bed and soon they were tangled in the furs and each other and Lexa filled her senses and every part of her consciousness and Clarke forgot about everything else, and it was exactly how she needed it to be.

 

4 _Yu choj op kom ai_. _Yu gada taim in_? You eat with me. Do you have time?  
5 _Lufa au_ : Search [this place]  
6 _Em klir_ : All clear  
7 _Lufa moun wogeda au_ : Search the other rooms  
8 _Chit kom au_? What’s happening?  
9 _Sis moun gonakru au_ : Help the other warriors  
10 _Ai raun en stet gon Indra raun_ : Watch [keep watch] and wait for Indra  
11 _Chon ste_ *: Who is it? [I took liberties here. Peterson has a construction for “who are you?” and it’s “chon yu bilaik,” which didn’t quite work in this case, so I used a construction of “is” in conjunction with “who” here.]  
12 _Ai gaf in kom chich Danyel op_ : I want to speak with Danyel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, everybody! So shit is getting weird and crazy and Clarke may just have figured out something about Nia's possible plans. What'd you think of the tower breach? I dunno, you guys, something's not right with Danyel...
> 
> I also wanted to make sure that we got some Clexa interaction, and Lexa has realized that no matter what happens, she cannot be without her Clarkey for very long. Clarke had already figured this out about herself, but she knows Lexa has all kinds of angst about having people too close, so that's something Lexa had to verbalize on her own.
> 
> Anyway, this was a longer chapter than usual because I'm on the road next week and working on another project and I won't be able to post the weekend of the 24th. Most likely I'll be posting at some point the week of the 27th, but keep in mind that's ClexaCon, and I'm going to that. So I'm going to work my ass off to get another chapter up before I go to ClexaCon (in honor of Clexa, y'know). Regardless, I keep people posted on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com/). And please, you can always ask me anything on Tumblr if you don't want to ask here.
> 
> THANK YOU so much for the comments and kudos! I try to respond ASAP to comments, but don't freak out if I don't. I'll get there. THANK YOU. It means a lot to me that you're reading this and I hope you continue to do so.
> 
> A few songs I used during the writing of this chapter: ARIZONA, "Oceans Away"; Nothing but Thieves, "Graveyard Whistling"; love+war, "Leave Room"


	58. Puzzles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have some time together and then Clarke and Atlan go to question Danyel again to see if they can figure out what's happening. And then they get word that news from Azgeda has arrived.

Lexa woke up fully alert, a habit it seemed she’d had all her life. She was on her back in bed, Clarke heavy and warm against her, arm and leg draped carelessly over her, head resting on her shoulder. She listened for a while, and wondered if she’d done the right thing, bringing Clarke here. Would she have been safer in her own quarters? Or would that have put her at risk, being so close to Lexa’s quarters, which were now probably a target?

She heard nothing beyond Clarke’s deep, regular breathing, a sound she had come to treasure because it meant she was close, and most recently, in her arms. The rain had stopped and she detected no movement from the corridor, but she knew that wasn’t the case in other parts of the tower. Even at night, there was always activity and tonight might bring a different sort of activity, if there were an assassin in the tower who made an attempt on the woman masquerading as her in her quarters.

Clarke mumbled something in her sleep and snuggled against her. Lexa pulled her gently closer, her fingertips brushing the scars left by the panther across Clarke’s left shoulderblade, and thought of other things, since there was nothing yet to indicate anything amiss elsewhere in the tower.

She kept her hand pressed gently against Clarke’s back, and with her other hand she carefully pulled the furs up over her shoulder, since the room was chilly. She had barely dared to imagine a scenario like this coming to pass, even after the first time their lips met that day months ago in her tent.

And after the mountain, she had stopped hoping, though she knew she would never be free of the woman from the sky, so she willingly relinquished a piece of her heart to her, though Clarke didn’t even know she carried it. And now here they were, skin to skin, fitted together as if they had never been apart, as if Lexa had always known the certainty of Clarke’s smile and touch, and the way she looked at her when they were alone.

Clarke stirred and Lexa felt her lips on her neck, soft but maybe a little teasing and she smiled and let her fingers run lightly across her back, trailing over the scars again and the warm expanse of her skin.

“I like that you’re still in bed,” Clarke said, voice gravelly with sleep, and she nuzzled her throat. “So that means it’s probably not first light.”

“No. Not for a while.”

“Then why are you awake?” Clarke asked, lips against Lexa’s jaw. “You should rest.”

“Mmm. Someone has been talking to Balta.”

Clarke drew patterns with her fingertips on Lexa’s hip. “Given what we found out yesterday, we have a lot of work to do today.”

“Not yet.” She stroked her back. “But at first light, it begins.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know when that is.”

Lexa smiled and Clarke’s fingers tracked down her thigh, leaving heat in their wake.

“I’m still trying to figure out what exactly Danyel is lying about. This doesn’t feel like an assassination attempt.”

“No.”

She was silent for a while, but she continued to run her fingers up and down Lexa’s thigh, and the last thing Lexa wanted to think about was a possibly rogue council representative.

“We need to flush him out. And whoever the assassin is,” Clarke finally said. She stopped moving her hand, much to Lexa’s chagrin. “And I’m guessing that’s basically what you were trying to do, and that’s why we’re here.” She propped herself on her elbow and studied her, in the flickering light from the two candles still burning near the bed. “Hmm.” She ran her fingers lightly over the left side of her face. “Your ‘tattoo’ is…um…smeared.”

Lexa smiled. “I’m not sure it looks as good on you as on me.” She wiped at a smudge of black on Clarke’s cheek with her thumb.

Clarke chuckled. “There are worse things.”

“Mmm.” She wiped at another smudge.

“So am I right? You’re trying to flush a possible assassin out.”

Lexa stopped wiping at Clarke’s face, deciding that she looked cute, with smudges on her cheeks, as if she’d been painting. “Yes. But if there is an assassin, he or she probably knows that we questioned Danyel, and decided not to begin the next stage of the plan until later.”

“But whoever it is has to do something soon, if Nia’s involved, because she only has a bit over two days, now, to respond to the call to account.” She rested her hand on Lexa’s chest, above her breasts. “We need to talk to Danyel again.”

“We will.” She covered Clarke’s hand with her own, and held it against her skin as she watched the candlelight play over Clarke’s features. “Just not right now. Balta will let us know when it’s time to leave.”

“What if something’s happened already?”

“We would know,” she said, though she knew that sometimes plots were more effective than anticipated, and an assassin might get through the best defenses without being detected. Which was why they were here, in one of the several safe rooms in the tower. Nothing was ever foolproof, but the harder they could make it for an enemy, the better their chances of buying themselves time and uncovering whatever it was Nia was trying to do. And Lexa was certain Nia was somehow behind this, though there could be others working with her. Danyel’s role puzzled her, and that was something she wanted to deal with as soon as possible.

“How hard would it be for Nia to get some warriors into Polis?” Clarke asked.

“Not very. _Azgeda_ traders and merchants live and work in the city, and others come to sell in the market. Indra will already have started checking her networks about the _Azgeda_ within the city.”

Clarke stared down into her eyes and from her expression, Lexa knew she was thinking, considering something. “What about in the tower?” she asked after a few moments.

“Much harder to enter. When I’m in Polis, people must request to enter at least a day in advance of a matter they wish to bring to me.”

“And if there’s some kind of emergency? Do you let people into the tower to bring the news to you?”

“Usually. But they are detained in a room on the first floor for assessment.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “We’re missing something. This isn’t making sense.” She pulled her hand out from under Lexa’s and entwined their fingers. “I know Danyel isn’t necessarily one of your strongest supporters, but what does he gain if he helps Nia? Especially now that she doesn’t have _Azgeda_ under control?”

“Danyel has never approved of my Ascension or my decisions as _Heda_. Perhaps Nia may have promised him something if she managed to remove me as Commander.” She stroked the back of Clarke’s hand with her thumb.

“Then why did you allow him on the council? Or did the _Delfikru_ leader do that?”

“Danyel was chosen by his clan’s _heda_. But I agreed, because I can then better watch him.”

Clarke frowned. “But he doesn’t seem overly fond of _Azgeda_. So why would he work with Nia?”

“Danyel is an opportunist. He opposed Jos today because he knows I support her, and he likes to remind me that he does not approve of my position or decisions. If he can undermine me, he will use whatever path he can.” She kissed Clarke’s hand again. “He was not pleased at your response to him in the council meeting.”

“I know.” She smirked. “Good.”

She smiled. “And you claim you aren’t good at politics.”

“Maybe sometimes. But I’m not always subtle.”

She chuckled. “No, you’re not. But that, too, can be useful.”

Clarke squeezed her hand. “I still think we’re missing something.”

“And we’ll try to determine what that is at first light.”

“Speaking of, how much time do we have before that?” Clarke asked.

“A while.”

She smiled and it seemed to heat the air between them. “Good. Because I have many, many ideas about how to keep you here until then.” She gently extricated her hand from Lexa’s and glided her fingers down Lexa’s chest, lingering briefly between her breasts before ending their journey just below her navel. A wave of sparks seemed to dance beneath Lexa’s skin and she inhaled sharply. “Though there are things we need to do today that sadly will take us away from this bed,” Clarke added, a note of frustration in her tone.

Lexa chuckled again and kissed her, and what started as simply that morphed instead into something much, much more, something that set new fires between them as Lexa explored Clarke with tongue, teeth, and fingertips. There was nothing she wanted more than to lose herself in this moment, since she didn’t know when they’d have another, and every kiss, every touch, every smile etched itself in her memory and burned itself into her heart.

Clarke dug her fingers into Lexa’s hips and she pulled her down hard against her. Even in the heat between them, she was mindful of Lexa’s bruises as she had been earlier, and she switched her grip to her shoulders, then tangled her fingers in Lexa’s hair and kissed her like she hadn’t seen her in months.

“I can’t. . .get enough. . .of you,” Clarke whispered between kisses and Lexa pulled away and stared down into her eyes for a moment then kissed her hard and deep, and she worked her hand between them and Clarke groaned against her mouth as she slid first one then another finger in.

She started with slow, easy thrusts, her thumb grazing her clit, and Clarke’s breathing sped up as she moved with her and she clung to Lexa’s shoulders, and her heels dug into the backs of her thighs. Clarke kept kissing her, panting against her lips, and Lexa increased the speed of her thrusts, her own arousal soaring at the sweat that gathered between them, the feel of her fingers deep inside, at Clarke pressed hard against her and the sound of her soft moans against her mouth and cheek. Clarke tensed, and her fingers dug harder into Lexa’s shoulders.

“Lexa,” she whispered, urgent, her breath hot against her mouth.

“I’m here.” And she caught Clarke’s groan on her lips, and a flood of wetness on her hand as Clarke clung to her, hard, then collapsed against the furs, panting. Lexa positioned herself on her side next to her, and slid her free hand under Clarke’s neck. She pressed a kiss to her temple, hoping Clarke understood the depth of her feelings, and that she would keep her safe, that she understood the trust Clarke placed in her when she was at her most vulnerable like this. Clarke’s breathing slowed and Lexa gently pulled her fingers out and held her close, and she didn’t want to ever let go, didn’t want this moment to end, and her chest hurt with the enormity of those thoughts.

After a while Clarke moved and Lexa reluctantly released her, but missed the feel of her immediately. Clarke must have sensed that she wanted to protest, because she pushed her back onto the furs and placed her fingers against her lips and shook her head, a smile on her lips that sparked in her eyes.

“ _Hod yu chichnes op_ ,” she said softly. “ _En teik ai step ai au_.” 1

She stared at her, the heat in Clarke’s gaze mingling with things much deeper and it left her breathless and wanting.

Clarke kissed her, tender at first, then more demanding, and Lexa felt it all the way down her thighs. She started to reposition herself but Clarke pushed her back to the furs with another smile.

“ _Ma gou_ ,”2 she said, and she worked her way down Lexa’s torso with her lips and tongue, and she kept going lower and even lower until she arrived exactly where Lexa needed her to, and she teased her for long, aching moments with her tongue, though Lexa was close anyway. Her need increased exponentially but she fought it, wanting to feel this way just a little longer, and then Clarke slid her fingers in and Lexa clamped her teeth together as she thrust against Clarke’s hand, wanting her more, wanting her deeper, wanting her always—

She gripped the furs with one hand and the back of Clarke’s neck with the other as Clarke covered her mouth with hers and rammed her tongue between her teeth

and Lexa arched as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through her, the taste of both of them in her mouth. She moaned and hissed between her teeth, and fell back on the bed, shudders wracking her body even as Clarke gathered her close and pressed her lips against her forehead, soothing, holding on until the last of the after effects faded and there would never be words to fully express what she felt, or what Clarke meant to her.

They lay like that for a while in comfortable, intimate silence, Lexa stroking Clarke’s hair, Clarke’s head on her shoulder again and Lexa’s chest and throat tightened with emotions she wasn’t sure how to define, but they all had to do with the woman next to her, who had walked right through her walls and seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her heart.

She thought then of the aftermath of the _pauna_ attack, and how she had watched Clarke sleep, making sure she was safe. She didn’t understand then why she would do whatever she could to ensure Clarke’s safety, but she knew somehow that it was as natural to her as breathing, and that she would continue to do it, no matter the circumstances between them, no matter what happened this day or any other.

“I don’t want you to leave this bed,” Clarke said softly, as if reading her thoughts. “Because I know you’re here and you’re safe.”

“I have the same thought about you.” She kissed her forehead. “But—”

“I know.” She sighed and then smiled. “Months ago, of all the places I thought I would be, this is not one of them.”

Lexa smiled, too. “I can say the same.”

“But I am _not_ complaining.” She brushed her lips against Lexa’s throat. “Far from it.”

“Nor am I.”

Clarke looked into her eyes. “So are you _Heda_ today?”

She chuckled. “Not at first. For a while, I’ll be part of your guard.”

“Oh?” Clarke propped herself on her elbow so she could look down at Lexa’s face.

“ _Sha_. We shall see what we can learn.”

“Will the council be meeting today?”

“If necessary. At that point, I’ll be _Heda_. First, though, there will most likely be messages from _Azgeda_ and perhaps information about Nia’s location.”

“What are you planning to do with Nia?”

“We must find her first.” She didn’t say anything else, because it would be best if Clarke not know about Lexa’s kill order. Though no doubt she probably suspected.

Clarke’s brow furrowed in thought. “Are you sure you can trust your guards?”

“Not all, it seems, and not today. Wash normally functions as one of my lead scouts and personal guards, and when he returns from Arkadia, he will resume that role. Until then, we must be careful. Balta and Titus chose the warriors who guard my quarters and yours, and who serve as escorts. They will be checking them again, but in the meantime, I will serve as your primary guard. When Tam returns, she, too, will serve as such.”

“Okay. But are council representatives allowed to—” she leaned down and kissed her, “ _associate_ with their guards? Because there’s one in particular—today especially—that I’d like to get to know better.”

“It seems you’ve already gotten to know quite a bit about her these past few days,” Lexa murmured against her lips, sparks again racing down her spine.

“Oh, I want more. Much, much more.”

Lexa met her gaze in the fading light of the last two candles burning, and what she saw made her ache in ways she never knew she could, in ways that went so much deeper than physical. And then Clarke kissed her in a way that said what Lexa felt, that told her that Clarke felt it, too, and they didn’t need words to convey it.

She kissed her again then tore her lips away and forced herself out of bed, the chill in the room prickling her skin as she stood. “Stay there,” she said. “It’s warmer.” She took one of the candles and used it to light another in the bathroom before she took care of a few things. Once done, she used some of the water in the lone bucket to dampen a cloth and cleaned up, using another cloth to wipe her face and neck off before she took another damp cloth to the bed.

“This will be cold,” she said, apologetic, and she wiped the smudges made by her facepaint off Clark’s cheeks and neck. She held the cloth up for her to see, and Clarke laughed.

“There’s probably some—” Lexa motioned at Clarke’s chest, currently covered with the furs, and Clarke smirked.

“Lower than that, too,” she said, a husky edge to her voice and Lexa clamped her teeth together to keep herself focused as Clarke moved the furs aside, exposing the length of her, and even in the dim light, she was beyond beautiful and Lexa’s breath caught in her throat and she could only stare, heart pounding, gaze moving over every curve, every dip and hollow, every expanse.

“I think I’m flattered,” Clarke said after a few moments, and Lexa flushed, heat sweeping up her neck, and it must have been visible even in the low light, because Clarke laughed again. “ _So_ , _Heda_. _Yu get klin_ , _bilaik dison na hana op_?” 3

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “ _Wanheda nou vout in, bilaik ai na dison dula op_?” 4

She smiled, slow and sultry and it was all Lexa could do not to pick up where they’d left off earlier. “ _Stein em klin_ ,”5 she said, the smile a challenge all its own.

Lexa leaned in, her lips barely a hair’s breadth from Clarke’s. “ _Ai ai op_ ,”6 she whispered and then she pulled away with a teasing smirk that made Clarke groan softly and fall back against the furs. Lexa set to work cleaning facepaint smudges off Clarke’s chest, abdomen, and thighs, though it proved almost as arousing as their earlier activities.

“I’ll take care of the rest.” Clarke got out of bed and pecked Lexa on the cheek. “Because if I let you keep doing that, we will not leave this room today.” She went toward the bathroom and Lexa stared after her and bit her lip at the sight. She sighed and started to get dressed.

“Don’t put your shirt on yet,” Clarke said from the bathroom, as if she could tell what Lexa was doing. “I need to check you.”

She smiled. “Balta would be most pleased.”

“So will I.”

While Clarke remained in the bathroom, Lexa used one of the remaining candles to light a few others. When Clarke emerged, she quickly got her own clothing on then pulled Lexa closer to the bed, where there was more light.

“What’s your pain level?” she asked as she gently rubbed salve into the bruise beneath her ribs, and it hurt a little.

“Not bad.”

Clarke looked at her, skepticism on her features. “Did I—”

“No.” She cupped her cheek. “You didn’t hurt me. It’s a little sensitive. Nothing more. And it doesn’t hurt to breathe or move.” She stroked her cheek for a moment with her thumb before she lowered her hand.

“Good.” Clarke smeared a little more over the bruise’s surface. “Try not to rub this off on me,” she said with a smile. “Though I did enjoy it.” She gave her a quick kiss before she rubbed salve into the bruises on her back. She finished and Lexa put her shirt on.

“Where’s your facepaint?” Clarke asked.

Lexa took a small jar out of her belt pouch and handed it to her.

“Sit down.”

She did and Clarke took the top off the jar and gave it to her to hold and Lexa flashed her a grin.

“What?” she asked as she started to apply the paint to the left side of Lexa’s face.

“ _Heda_ doesn’t take orders from just anyone.”

She returned her smile. “I know. I must be special.”

“Mmm. _Wanheda ron ai ridiyo op_.” 7

Clarke gave her a kiss and dipped her finger into the facepaint and continued to work. Lexa closed her eyes, relaxing into Clarke’s touch. “What would _Heda_ have me do today?”

“You are in my charge.”

“Meaning what?”

“As your escort, we will attempt to find out how much of Danyel’s story is truthful.”

Clarke made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. “Not much.”

“I agree.”

She worked in silence for a few moments. “How are we going to go about investigating Danyel’s story? Though this facepaint might be a good disguise from a distance, people might still recognize you as _Heda_.” She lifted Lexa’s chin and Lexa looked at her. “No one can forget you once they meet you.”

“I think it is I who is flattered now.”

“And your eyes,” she said softly. “They’re not the kind of eyes people forget.”

“I would say the same about yours.” From the first moment she had looked into Clarke’s eyes, there was no way she would ever forget them, no way she wanted to.

Clarke regarded her for a long moment, and the air seemed to still between them, expectant and filled with possibility. “I love your eyes,” she said, and before Lexa could respond, she added, “but I’m not sure your own people here in the tower won’t know it’s you.”

“People see what they want to see,” Lexa said. “I’m one of your guards today. That’s what they will see. _Nou get yu daun_.” 8

She smiled. “Kane told me about how he met you, and about your disguise then. Do you do this often?”

Lexa chuckled. “Often enough.” She thought about Nia’s camp, and how she and Arling had rescued Gina, and how close Nia had been to her. That was something she probably would not tell Clarke for a while, since Clarke would no doubt worry even more about her.

She went back to work with the facepaint. “ _Heda_ makes it a practice to disguise herself?”

“Sometimes.”

She gave Lexa one of her lazy half-smiles that often left her powerless. “Which _Heda_ have you been showing me?”

Lexa took the jar of paint from Clarke and placed her hand against her chest, over her heart, which was beating faster than usual. “This one.”

Clarke stared at her, myriad emotions in her eyes. She leaned in and kissed her, slow and tender. When she finished, she pulled away and gently pulled her hand from Lexa’s. “We’ll continue this conversation later, when we have much more time.”

Lexa closed her eyes again, heart still pounding, and sank into Clarke’s touch, listening to her breathe, wanting nothing more than to have her near for as long as she could, and wondering when exactly it was that she had succumbed to that.

“Done,” Clarke said after what Lexa considered too short a time.

She bit back a sigh and went to the bathroom, where a small mirror hung. Clarke had replicated the tattoo pattern from the night before, stylized claws painted horizontally on her left cheek, and a geometric hook along her temple.

She appeared behind her, reflected in the mirror. “Okay?”

“ _Sha_. _Mochof_.”

“Try not to rub against anybody.” She moved Lexa’s hair aside, pulled the collar of her shirt down, and kissed the back of her neck. “Unless it’s me.”

Pleasant chills shot down Lexa’s back as Clarke adjusted her collar and went back into the other room. Lexa quickly braided her hair in a much different style than she usually wore it then went into the main room and put her sword harness on and then her weapons belt. Clarke sheathed her own knives and started eating a bit of the dried meat that had been in the packet on the table.

Lexa put her swords on her belt rather than her back, in keeping with her disguise, but in case she needed it, she had her harness on to carry them. Clarke handed her some meat and a piece of bread and they ate in companionable silence, sharing glances in the dim light from the candles.

A light tapping sounded at the door and Lexa caught Clarke’s gaze. Clarke nodded and Lexa gave her a quick kiss before she drew one of her knives and went to the door and tapped back. She waited for the answering tap, a short, specific pattern, and she drew the bar back with her free hand and opened the door a crack. Balta stood in the corridor, holding a torch and wearing a cloak. Two guards who Lexa recognized as members of Indra’s personal detail stood next to her. Balta stepped into the room and shut the door, leaving the guards outside.

“ _Heda_ , Atlan has requested that Clarke accompany her in her investigations regarding Danyel.” She looked over at Clarke and gave her a quick smile.

Lexa turned to Clarke. “Atlan thinks perhaps she might mentor you a bit in the workings of the council, and it involves spending time with her in the execution of some of her duties, which change according to circumstances.”

Clarke nodded, and her expression indicated that she understood the underying message, that Atlan’s mentorship was cover for investigation. “As _Heda_ requests,” she said, slipping into a more formal demeanor, as if preparing herself to present a certain image to the public.

“Any other news?” Lexa asked Balta as she blew out the candles and put her own cloak on, providing the illusion that she was a scout, just in from the forests.

“Not yet. We are expecting Tam and Arling today, as well as Wash. Perhaps we will also be able to determine where Nia is.”

“Have someone alert Clarke about that,” she instructed. Doing so would ensure that she, too, was apprised.

“ _Sha_. Titus and I are completing some tasks from yesterday. I will speak with you about those later.”

She nodded. “Let us go.” She motioned at the door and when Balta opened it, she waited for Clarke to precede her into the corridor and she fell in step behind, effortlessly assuming her role as Clarke’s guard.

“We will use the other stairs for a bit,” Balta said softly to Clarke, and led them down the corridor in the opposite direction of the door to the main stairwell. Like the other stairwells in the tower, this one was built in a corkscrew configuration, which hindered visibility around the twists. The two guards in front drew short swords, and they all ascended in silence, the light from Balta’s torch bouncing off the stone of the walls.

Three floors up they exited into another mostly unused part of the tower and Balta led them back to the main stairwell to avoid questions when they emerged onto the floor that housed the council representatives. Better to do that via the main stairwell than one of the others that was rarely used. They ascended again and at the entrance to the council representatives’ floor, Balta placed the torch in a nearby holder, as the gray light of dawn was already seeping into the hallway.

Even at this hour, guards and servants walked the corridor and Lexa kept her gaze on Clarke’s back as they moved toward Atlan’s quarters. As she predicted, she got only cursory glances. She was a guard, nothing more, in the service of _Heda_ , today charged with accompanying the _Skaikru_ representative.

From this vantage point, she would see what Clarke and Atlan could uncover this day. She rested the fingers of her right hand lightly on the hilt of one of her swords as they walked. Whatever Nia planned to do, it would most likely be in the next two days, as Clarke had suggested. And as she watched Clarke enter Atlan’s quarters, she knew that no matter what it was, no matter what it involved, she would do everything in her power to keep Clarke safe.

And then she would find Nia and exact from her in blood what she owed in years of pain.

  
1 _Hod yu chichnes op_... _En teik ai step ai au_ : Stop talking...and let me do this [literally, let me make my move]  
2 _Ma gou_ : My turn  
3 _Yu get klin_ , _bilaik dison na hana* op*_? [Are] you sure [that] you can handle this? [Peterson doesn’t have a verb for “to handle,” as in, “you think you can handle this?”, so I created one, using the satellite “op.” Clarke is totally teasing Lexa here, asking her whether she can handle wiping the smudges off, given her reaction to seeing her lying there.]  
4 _Wanheda nou vout in_ , _bilaik ai na dison dula op_? – _Wanheda_ doesn’t think that I can do this?  
5 _Stein em klin_ : Prove it  
6 _Ai ai op_ : Watch me [the verb for watch in this instance is _ai op_ , so it does look a little awkward, but for “watch me,” this is the construction Peterson uses.]  
7 _Wanheda ron ai ridiyo op_ : _Wanheda_ speaks true.  
8 _Nou get yu daun_ : don’t worry (you’ve seen this one!)

###

Clarke sipped the cup of tea Atlan had poured her and tried not to turn to look at Lexa, who stood just within her peripheral vision near the door. If Atlan knew that she was in disguise, she didn’t indicate such and pretty much ignored all the guards. But it could be that those who knew Lexa didn’t acknowledge her as _Heda_ when she was presenting herself as someone else. Maybe it was an understanding she had with the warriors and staff wbo worked closest with her.

Balta had left a while ago, and the sun had already crested the surrounding forests and was stretching its fingers through the balcony doors. It might have been pleasant if her stomach wasn’t in knots thinking about the potential danger within the tower, and what that might mean for Lexa. At some point today, she wanted to try to radio Arkadia, but she wasn’t sure when she’d have a chance.

“ _Heda_ informs me we have not found the servant who allegedly attempted to assassinate Danyel,” Atlan said. “She has asked me to question him further and I would like you to be there.” She wore a loose dark shirt and again, various feathers had been braided into her hair.

“As you request.” Clarke sipped again, and the warmth of the tea rolled down her throat, and for a moment it was a pleasant breakfast she was sharing with a council representative rather than a prelude to an investigation that had to race against time. “Did anything happen last night?” she asked, holding the cup in both hands, its warmth comforting.

“In this area of the tower, no. I have heard nothing to suggest otherwise in any other part, either.” She cut a piece of bread and dipped it into a small bowl of broth. “Tell me more about your theories regarding Danyel.”

Clarke glanced at Atlan’s two guards. Indra’s she trusted, but after what had happened the preceding night, she wasn’t so sure about any others.

Atlan noted her gaze and a grim smiled played on her lips. “You are wise to be concerned. These guards have been with me for years, and serve as my personal detail. Does that allay your suspicions?”

“A little.” But not entirely. She finally allowed herself a glance at Lexa, who caught her gaze and in it, she found further assurance regarding Atlan’s warriors. She relaxed a little and Atlan cut her a piece of bread and handed it to her.

“Given circumstances, it’s best to eat when you can,” she said.

Clarke dipped the bread into the broth and took a bite. It was warm and rich, seasoned well. She took another bite. The earlier pieces of dried meat hadn’t completely alleviated her hunger. She still had an appetite, in spite of her anxiety. When she finished the bread, she washed it down with more tea.

“Danyel is lying.” Clarke took a piece of meat from the tray with her knife and set it on her own plate but she didn’t take a bite.

“Yes. But what about?”

“The knife was already in his quarters, already poisoned. He needed somebody to use it against him, to stab him in a place that he couldn’t do himself, and also that would be easy to treat and wouldn’t hurt anything vital.”

“It is his word against ours.”

Clarke took a bite, thinking. “We should still assume that this is what happened, and we should think about what purpose his stabbing served.”

“A distraction.”

“ _Sha_.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Getting someone else into the tower? Or perhaps distracting us as we search for this servant.”

“But the tower is well-guarded. _Heda_ has ensured that.”

She nodded and finished the meat. They were missing something. But what? Why set up a servant to stab you and launch an investigation into who the servant was? Especially since the tower was pretty secure. So searching for the servant wasn’t going to change anything about that. Why create an internal diversion if not to get external attackers in? And why would Danyel help Nia, if she was behind this? Hating Lexa wasn’t a strong enough motivator to risk being discovered and killed for treason.

“You’ve questioned other witnesses about the servant. What did they say about her?”

Atlan shrugged. “Young, long dark hair. Wearing a long dark skirt and shirt.”

“Nothing beyond that?”

“No.”

Clarke thought for a moment. Danyel’s guards had provided more details. Dark eyes, they had said. Danyel added details, which could have been a function of the fact that he was closer to her, or it was a deflection.

“You have something more?” Atlan poured herself some more tea and motioned for Clarke’s cup so she could refill it.

“Maybe this servant knows some of Danyel’s staff and worked with that person to get close to him.”

Atlan picked up her cup. “A possibility. We will speak again with those he brought with him.”

Clarke nodded, still thinking. “If this situation with Danyel has something to do with Nia, why would he work with her?”

Atlan sipped then shrugged. “He has never been a supporter of _Heda_.” She may have flicked a glance at Lexa, but Clarke couldn’t be sure.

“But why risk execution for treason?”

She waited.

“I mean, if I knew that the punishment for plotting against _Heda_ and acting on such a plot was my own death, I’d probably not act on it because I wouldn’t enjoy getting rid of her. I’d be dead soon, too.” She tapped the rim of her cup for emphasis. “Danyel doesn’t seem the kind of man who would be willing to die for his cause. Is he a strong believer in other things?”

Atlan regarded her with interest. “You may have a point.”

“Unless he’s been hiding a willingness to die for this cause,” she added before she picked up her cup. “But wouldn’t that—” she stopped, thinking, then continued. “What about the _heda_ of _Delfikru_?”

“He is a supporter of _Heda Leksa_.”

“Then why put Danyel on the council?”

Atlan sat back, considering. “Danyel is a respected warrior in his clan and has served the _heda_ there for many years. _Heda_ _Izik_ respects Danyel’s opinion in many things. When _Heda Leksa_ Ascended, Izik was willing to work with her, but he, too, expressed some misgivings about the _kongeda_. However, he has come to support it, though he also expects that Danyel will watch _Heda_ more closely and offer a different perspective.”

So this Izik was using Danyel to basically keep Lexa honest. Clarke set her cup down. “You’ve known Danyel a while.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Would he be willing to die if doing so removed _Heda_ from power?”

Atlan’s gaze drilled into hers, and she tugged absently at one of the feathers in her hair. Clarke fought another urge to glance at Lexa.

“In the years I have known him and of him, I cannot say that he has expressed strong beliefs in any causes beyond ensuring the safety of his people. He is a warrior, and that is what he has focused on.”

“So if he felt _Heda Leksa_ was somehow a threat to his people, he would be willing to die for his people to protect them.”

Atlan’s brow creased in puzzlement. “ _Heda_ is no threat to _Delfikru_ , and Izik was pleased to enter the _kongeda_.”

“Maybe Danyel wasn’t.” Maybe nobody really knew who this guy was. She stared into her cup, as if she’d find answers there.

“I have not seen or heard anything to suggest that Danyel holds a hatred that deep for _Heda Leksa_. He does not approve of her or of some of her decisions, but that does not mean he wants her removed.” Atlan sounded skeptical.

“Then what about profit as a motive for helping Nia?”

“She no longer holds _Azgeda_. What profit might there be?”

“If Nia seeks to assassinate _Heda_ , that ensures she won’t have to challenge her and risk losing. An assassination guarantees that Nia will be able to either become Commander or place Ontari into position to do it, since people might be more accepting of a _Natblida_ as _Heda_. But Nia would still control Ontari, and the thirteen clans.”

“And?”

“And that means she might be promising Danyel something in event she is able to remove _Heda_.” Clarke hated saying that, hated thinking such things about Lexa. Her chest tightened with anxiety, as if steel bands were being locked into place around her ribs.

“Then any plan Nia has to do this is something Danyel believes will succeed, for him to take this chance. If he is betraying _Heda_.” The set of Atlan’s jaw indicated that if Danyel was, in fact, involved in something like this, she would personally ensure he paid for it.

“How loyal does Izik believe Danyel to be to him?”

The question seemed to surprise Atlan. “Danyel has served not only Izik, but the previous _heda_ of his people. That man was Danyel’s brother.”

“How did Izik become _heda_ of _Delfikru_?”

“He was chosen by the clan.”

“How?”

“After a _heda_ dies, all those who have come of age in a clan may cast a vote for a new _heda_. That _heda_ will serve until death, unless the people are displeased with the leadership. If that happens, the people appeal to the _Heda_ of all the clans to hold an accounting and resolve the issue. If the clan _heda_ is found to be a poor leader, the clan may choose another.”

Clarke sat back and regarded Atlan for a moment. “So _Delfikru_ chose Izik over Danyel.”

Atlan’s eyes narrowed and then she smiled. “I see why _Skaikru_ appointed you to the council. Yes, Danyel was not chosen to replace his brother.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “This was a few years before _Heda Leksa_ Ascended. If I recall, Danyel received very few votes.”

“I thought he was a respected warrior.”

“Warrior, yes. Leader, perhaps not,” she said, cryptic.

“So people generally don’t like him.”

Atlan raised her eyebrows and smiled again. “Danyel functions best as a warrior serving others, and he is respected for his abilities as such.” She cocked her head. “Some people are better leaders than others.”

“And some people may be resentful of a position they might have thought should have been theirs.” And maybe Izik did respect Danyel’s opinion and made him council representative to make him feel better about not being chosen as leader as _Delfikru_. Maybe Izik was playing politics, too, to keep Danyel from creating problems for him.

“You have raised very good points, _Klark kom Skaikru_. But if Nia’s plan is to become Commander, she does not have the support of all the clans. Such a situation would result in war. She no longer has the backing of _Azgeda_.”

“What about _Delfikru_?”

Atlan frowned. “Izik would not support Nia.”

“But there might be some who would. All Danyel would need is a small group from each clan to give Nia an army.” That would be enough to create chaos, and might fuel others to join Nia. After all, a warrior culture needed war, and a _kongeda_ was not the way to perpetuate that. Nia might be fighting not only Lexa, but the change she was bringing.

Atlan ran her hand over her jaw, clearly not enjoying the direction this conversation had gone. After all, Clarke had just hinted at a larger-ranging conspiracy that threatened the _kongeda_. Lexa was the linchpin, and Danyel may have been spending all this time in the council basically gathering information and building alliances with those who didn’t approve of Lexa or the direction she was taking them.

What Lexa was attempting to do was not only develop a coalition, but to change the type and structure of leadership. Warriors would be included, but war was not going to be the primary currency of the culture. And Lexa herself was a warrior—which might have made some believe that she was betraying her very essence, and thus a warrior’s creed.

These thoughts landed like stones in her mind. “Perhaps Danyel believes that the _kongeda_ threatens all the clans. Perhaps he feels that warriors will no longer be considered useful. And Nia may believe that, too.”

Atlan’s gaze was crystalline, like ice. “And perhaps others do as well,” she said, the words almost as hard as the expression in her eyes. “This is indeed something we must consider.”

Clarke repositioned herself in her chair so she could risk another glance at Lexa without it seeming deliberate, and the expression in her eyes was perhaps harder than Atlan’s. She shifted her gaze back to Atlan. Danyel might be interested in only furthering his own interests, but it seemed a large risk to take for just those. Was he more of an ideologue than anyone thought?

“Let us speak with Danyel.” Atlan pushed back from the table. “But in a way that will not alert him to what we discussed here.”

Clarke nodded, relieved that she was taking that approach. She followed Atlan into the corridor and knew Lexa had fallen into step behind her not because she heard her, but more because she sensed it, could almost feel her gaze on her back and it provided comfort as they walked to Danyel’s quarters.

The guards at the door included two of Danyel’s, but also two of Lexa’s, probably there to monitor and ensure Danyel’s staff didn’t try to help him escape. Atlan addressed one of Danyel’s guards and he quickly slipped inside. While they waited, Clarke fought the urge to turn and look at Lexa. Instead, she toyed with the hilt of her knife and kept her attention on Atlan.

After a few more moments, the door opened and the guard let them in. Atlan went first with her guards, then Clarke with hers. Danyel sat at the table, a plate of meat and bread in front of him. Lexa positioned herself near the door so that Atlan’s guards blocked Danyel’s direct line of sight to her. Clarke stood near Atlan, who did not sit. Before she said anything, he addressed her.

“ _Yu don hon em op_?” 9

“ _Nou. Der laik mou prom._ ”10

He sat back and kept his attention on Atlan.

“Describe her again.”

His lips tightened into a hard, thin line and then he licked them and gave the same description of the alleged assassin that he had the night before. Young, female, long dark hair, dark eyes set close together and a scar above her lip.

Again, Clarke wondered at those details. Specific enough to misdirect, it seemed.

“ _Teik osir in chich_ _yu helpa nodotaim op_?” 11 Clarke asked and Danyel’s eyes narrowed. He glanced at Atlan and her expression must have told him that he had few options in this matter.

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, as if granting a great favor.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Atlan said, as if also granting him a great favor. She turned to her guards. “ _Lufa em wogeda_ ,”12 she directed one. Danyel glared at her and started to get up but she pinned him to the chair with the look she gave him. “ _Kom yu klirnes_.” 13

His jaw worked but he said nothing and watched as the guard searched his quarters. Lexa had moved behind the other guard, but Danyel hadn’t paid any attention to her or the other guards. The guard searching was thorough, and checked under furniture. He went into the bathroom and spent some time there then came back out and went onto the balcony and leaned over the railing, checking up and down, as if someone might be clinging to the wall. It must have been possible, Clarke decided, or they wouldn’t bother looking.

“ _Odon_ ,” the guard announced.

Atlan nodded and looked at Danyel. “ _Ai na tel yu op taim osir hon enti op_.” 14

He said nothing and Clarke wondered if Atlan had told him that as a courtesy or a warning. In diplomatic games like this, intonation was everything and she wasn’t comfortable yet with the subtleties of the language. From Danyel’s sour expression, Atlan’s statement served both purposes.

Atlan nodded at her guards and they accompanied her out of the room. Clarke took the cue and joined her in the corridor, Indra’s guards and Lexa behind her. They went to the quarters next to Danyel’s and the guard opened it before Atlan said anything and motioned them inside.

Clarke glanced around the room. Two women and a man sat at the table eating. They started to get up but Atlan motioned them to stay seated. “ _Osir don mou prom._ ”15

They nodded, but didn’t speak.

“Tell me again about the servant accused of stabbing _Danyel kom Delfikru_.”

One of the women responded first, and she described a dark-haired woman in a dark dress and skirt, but nothing beyond that. The other two said the same thing. Atlan frowned and asked them to tell her, again, what they remembered seeing and hearing.

Clarke listened, but they revealed nothing that wasn’t already known. When the man finished, Atlan frowned.

“There was another who was questioned last night. Mykal. Where is he?”

“The tower kitchens,” one of the women answered.

That wasn’t unusual, for the servants of council representatives to work directly with tower staff. Something occurred to her. “ _Chon daunde lid dina in gon Danyel kom Delfikru_?” 16 she asked.

The servants all looked at her. “Mykal _,”_ the man said.

“ _Otaim_?” 17 Clarke pressed.

“ _Mous_.” 18

“ _Hakom em nou don lid dina in lesnat_?” 19

His expression denoted puzzlement, as if that hadn’t occurred to him.

“Is it expected that Mykal will bring Danyel his food most of the time?” Atlan asked.

“ _Sha_ ,” said one of the women. “But sometimes a tower servant brings it, if Danyel has Mykal doing other things.”

“Was Mykal here last night when the servant brought the food?” Clarke asked.

“No,” the man said.

Atlan crossed her arms and the gesture made her seem imposing. “When did he return to these quarters last night?”

“I can’t say,” the man said. “After Danyel was attacked, there were many people about. I went into the corridor to help with security.”

“And you?” Atlan directed the question at the two women and both shook their heads.

“I think I saw him in the corridor just before _Heda_ and _Klark kom Skaikru_ arrived to speak with Danyel,” one said. “I went into Danyel’s quarters to see if Balta needed anything and when I came back, Mykal was also here.”

“What did he say?”

The woman looked at Clarke. “He said we had to stay here because we would have to answer questions.”

“Did you ask him where he’d been?”

“No. I assumed he had been on an errand for Danyel.”

Clarke looked at the other woman. “Did you see Mykal come in?”

“No. But I didn’t think to pay attention to that, and went to Danyel’s quarters.”

“Wait here,” Atlan said to Clarke, and she left. Her two guards automatically followed her.

The servants glanced at each other then back at Clarke.

“ _Hanch taim Mykal don badan Danyel op_?” 20 she asked.

“ _Thri yiron_ ,”21 the man replied. “ _Em laik sonfa kom Danyels bro_.”

So basically, Danyel had known Mykal since he was born, which meant that Mykal no doubt had a certain loyalty to his uncle, and would probably do whatever Danyel wanted him to. Behind her, she heard the creak of leather as either Lexa or one of the other guards shifted positions.

The door opened wider and Clarke turned, expecting Atlan. Instead, a young dark-haired man she estimated to be about sixteen entered, carrying a cloth-wrapped packet. One of Lexa’s guards stopped him with a hand on his chest. The guard looked over at Clarke, waiting for her instructions. The young man looked first at the servants at the table, then at Clarke, confusion in his eyes. Lexa rested her right hand on the hilt of the sword she usually drew with it.

“ _Em laik Klark kom Skaikru_. _Yu laik Mykal_?”

He nodded. The guard lowered his hand from Mykal’s chest.

“You usually bring Danyel his food,” Clarke said. She didn’t phrase it as a question.

He nodded again.

“But last night, there was another who brought his food.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Why didn’t you bring his food?”

He hesitated.

“Many have said that you weren’t here when _Danyel kom Delfikru_ was attacked.

“He sent me for more drying cloths.”

Clarke forced herself to retain an impassive expression. “Why would he arrange for someone else to bring his food?”

“I don’t know.” He glanced at the floor. “Maybe he had his eye on the servant who brought his food.”

Atlan entered but she stopped right behind Mykal and looked over his shoulder at Clarke.

“ _Em laik Mykal_ ,” Clarke said to her.

Atlan stepped around him and looked at Clarke again.

“He says Danyel sent him for drying cloths,” Clarke said in English. “And that he doesn’t know why Danyel didn’t have him bring his food last night. He suggested that Danyel had his eye on the female servant.”

Atlan pursed her lips. “Danyel claims the same thing, that he sent Mykal for drying cloths and asked for his food. He said he assumed Mykal had arranged for the servant to bring him his food because it was taking him a while to procure the cloths.”

“Why would he assume that?”

“Danyel says he leaves it up to the discretion of his servants, who does what.”

Clarke studied Mykal, whose expression was blank. “So Mykal bringing Danyel food as a regular thing isn’t something that Danyel orders. It’s just a habit.”

Atlan didn’t respond and instead crossed her arms and, like Clarke, studied Mykal.

What the hell was this? Clarke stepped closer to Mykal. “So neither you nor Danyel arranged for the servant to bring Danyel's food?”

“No.”

Clarke glanced at Atlan then back at Mykal. Danyel also claimed that he didn’t arrange for any specific servant to bring him food last night, and left that up to his staff. But if Mykal brought his food almost always, why wouldn’t he question somebody new bringing his food?

“Where are the drying cloths?” Clarke asked.

“In Danyel’s quarters,” Mykal said. “The bathing room.”

So in the midst of all the chaos last night, Mykal still managed to put drying cloths into Danyel’s quarters. Atlan stepped into the corridor but returned a moment later.

“Can I speak with you?” Clarke asked her.

Atlan nodded. To Mykal, she said, “Don’t leave until I have stated you may.”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, contrite, and he carried his packet over to the table. As he passed, Clarke picked up the faint odor of fresh bread. She waited until he sat down then caught Lexa’s gaze briefly before she left the room.

“We are still left with the question of who the servant woman was,” Atlan said when they were in the corridor. Indra’s guards stood with Atlan’s near the entrance to the servants’ rooms while Lexa stood near Clarke, hand still on her sword hilt, back to the wall, appearing as if she was merely a personal guard and not actually listening to the conversation.

“And the questions I have about the attack.” Clarke ran her hand over her hair. “If Nia is behind this, why would she send someone so incompetent? The wound wasn’t fatal and wasn’t even particularly dangerous. And if Danyel struggled with this servant, she most likely would have stabbed him in his stomach or chest. To stab him in the back of his arm, she would have to be behind him.”

Atlan rubbed her chin again. “The mark of an inexperienced assassin, to be sure.”

“And not a particularly strong poison.”

“Perhaps this has nothing to do with Nia. She would not have sent someone so inexperienced to dispatch someone.”

“Unless she wanted us to think something else.” Clarke chewed her lip. And unless Danyel wanted them to think something else.

“Atlan.”

Both Clarke and Atlan turned toward the approaching warrior. Clarke recognized her as one of Indra’s scouts.

“There is news from _Azgeda_.” She kept her voice low. “ _Heda_ has requested that _Klark kom Skaikru_ return to her quarters. She will send someone for you and Ferris.”

“ _Sha_.” To Clarke, Atlan said, “Your guards will accompany you. _Mochof_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_ , for your help.”

She nodded and Indra’s guards started down the corridor after the scout, Lexa again taking position behind her. They went to the lift, but Indra’s scout exited to the stairwell. One of the guards called down the lift shaft and a few moments later, it arrived and they all stepped on, but Lexa placed herself in front of Clarke this time, ensuring that all three warriors stood between her and the lift entrance.

Clarke chewed her lip again, thinking about Mykal and Danyel. Mykal was his nephew, and probably felt a sense of loyalty to him, especially after his father’s death. Maybe Danyel had even raised Mykal as his own, depending on how old he had been when his father died. So it was logical that he would try to cover for him, unless he was part of whatever plot this might be.

Her gaze focused on Lexa, and trailed down the cloak to her boots. She knew what was underneath the trappings of Commander and warrior and she knew how precious that was, how much trust Lexa placed in her. She thought about the way Lexa’s smile came more easily now in the moments they shared, and how gentle she was with Clarke’s heart, how patient she could be. Contradictions, it seemed, to the fiery Grounder warrior and duty-bound Commander of the clans, but complementary after all, and Clarke wanted all of it, every part of her, wanted her around as long as possible, and if it required that she herself find Nia and ensure she never threatened anyone again, she would do it.

The lift stopped and the guards stepped off first. Lexa waited for Clarke to precede her and they walked in silence, past the guards normally stationed on this floor. All murmured greetings to Clarke and she nodded in return. They stopped at the door to her quarters and Lexa entered first.

“ _Hod op_ ,” one of Indra’s guards said to Clarke and she realized that Lexa was searching her quarters. Finally, Lexa motioned her in.

“ _Heda_ will send further instructions soon,” she said, the barest hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth.

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke said, and she watched as Lexa left and closed the door. She took a piece of parchment off its shelf and took that and a piece of charcoal out onto the balcony, mostly dry in the sun, and sat down, her back to the wall, and started sketching Mykal, as if that would help her see things in a different way. But by the time Balta came to tell her that _Heda_ wished her presence in the small conference room, she had finished a decent portrait of him and she was no closer, it seemed, to understanding what exactly Danyel was doing or how all the pieces of this puzzle fit.

Maybe whatever news had arrived from _Azgeda_ would provide a different perspective. She put the parchment back on the shelf, cleaned her hands off, and went with Balta and Indra’s guards to the stairwell.

  
9 _Yu don hon em op_? Did you find her?  
10Nou. Der laik mou prom: No. There are more questions.  
11 _Teik osir in chich_ _yu helpa* nodotaim op_? Can we talk to your staff again? [Peterson doesn’t seem to have a word yet for “servant” or “staff,” so I made one up. I derived “helpa” from “helper.”]  
12 _Lufa em wogeda_ : Search his room/quarters  
13 _Kom yu klirnes_ : For your safety  
14 _Ai na tel yu op taim osir hon enti op_ : I’ll tell you if we find anything  
15 _Osir don mou prom_ : We have more questions.  
16 _Chon daunde lid dina in gon Danyel kom Delfikru_? Who brings Danyel’s food?  
17 _Otaim_?: Always? [you’ve seen this one]  
18 _Mous_ : Almost [always]  
19 _Hakom em nou don lid dina in lesnat*_? Why didn’t he bring food last night [I took a liberty here. The word for “last” is “las,” but it’s not quite the same meaning/context needed to denote time, in terms of “last night.” So I created “lesnat” for “last night.” The word for night is “nat.”]  
20 _Hanch taim Mykal don badan Danyel op_? How long has Mykal served Danyel?  
21 _Thri yiron_ … _Em laik sonfa kom Danyels bro_ : Three years…He is the son of Danyel’s brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, EVERYBODY! Posting this LIVE from ClexaCon in Las Vegas. LOL It's Sunday, and there's still a whole lotta ClexaCon going on, so as soon as I do this, I'm off to see what else is up.
> 
> So here I may have gone a little gratuitous with the Clexa feelz in a long scene, but I can't say I'm sorry about it. They get some more intimate time together, but they also talk about what's going on, bouncing thoughts and ideas off each other and evolving in how they interact. Lexa is way more comfortable now with Clarke in terms of intimacy, but she has a ton of feelz she's not sure how to express, but Clarke knows that about her, so she just goes with it because she's on board for this ride in more ways than one.
> 
> Also, WTF with Danyel? WHAT IS GOING ON? We shall see...
> 
> Okay, I wanted to also give you guys a heads up that I may not be able to post next week. Got some family stuff going on that I may need to deal with and that requires travel. I'm also supposed to be out of pocket the week after next, with no extended access to the Interwebz. I'm going to try to get another chapter written this week, but ClexaCon and this other shit may prevent that. You know I've been pretty good about posting regularly, so I'll let people know what's up as I can. THANK YOU for your understanding and patience and thank you so, so much for the kudos and comments. I try to respond when I can.
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com), where I post to let people know what's up. And I'll update here in the notes as I can. Thanks.
> 
> Some songs that joined me as I wrote this chapter: Frank Borell, "dellbao"; So Below, "hard"; Lastlings, "Time"


	59. Unexpected Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke try to figure out WTF Danyel and Mykal are up to because time is running short. And then somebody shows up at the city gates that Lexa needs to question. As if that wasn't enough, Titus finds the vendor who might have ties to Landis. And then shit gets real.

Ferris, Indra, Atlan, and Titus were already in the small conference room when Clarke arrived, along with Lexa, who had removed the fake tattoo from the side of her face, rebraided her hair, and affixed the small circular metal piece to her forehead, just above her nose. Clarke had always thought of it as a sunburst, though it was more a gearwheel. She also wore her coat now, and her leather waist guard and left shoulderguard were buckled into place, her swords across her back.

Though she had removed all facepaint, she still cut a formidable figure, and exuded an air of complete authority, and it should have been incongruous, this Lexa, compared to what she shared privately. But the gentle teasing, warm smiles, flirting, and playfulness that she had demonstrated with Clarke were also part of Lexa, as was the intensity and passion in how she expressed herself physically with her, and the depths that she allowed Clarke to see. All of this was Lexa—all of it was _Heda_ —and Clarke’s heart filled with an array of emotions when she saw her.

Lexa looked up from the map spread across the table as Clarke approached and her expression betrayed nothing though her gaze held hers a beat longer than perhaps it should have in this setting. Clarke kept her expression neutral, but the effect Lexa always had on her sparked up and down her back and thighs.

Atlan motioned Clarke to join her next to the table and Lexa signaled the guard who stood in the doorway. He immediately left.

“Roan has sent a messenger,” Lexa said to Clarke, who took a position near Atlan to Lexa’s left. “I have also received reports from three scouts.” She pointed at the map and delineated a wide circle around the trading stop. “Nia is not in this area, or in this.” She tracked her finger toward Polis.

“She may be moving southwest, toward Arkadia,” Atlan offered. “Then she will swing back toward Polis.”

“Or she’s not moving at all.”

All gazes shifted to Clarke, expectant.

“If she’s looking to remove _Heda_ , she would need to be close by. The farther away she is, the more time _Trikru_ has to prepare for her to attempt to take advantage of anything that happens.”

Lexa nodded. “Clarke’s thoughts have merit.”

Clarke shot a glance at Titus to Lexa’s right. He looked first at the map then at Lexa.

Atlan leaned over the table. “I do not know the _Trikru_ forests. Is there somewhere Nia and the warriors with her could do what Clarke suggests?”

“There are lots of ruins,” Clarke said. “Some are probably hard to find if you don’t know the area. Barring that, if I had a dozen warriors and I was going to hide for a few days within a few miles of Polis, I’d split my group, and keep a few mobile.”

“Mmm,” Lexa said, tapping her chin as she looked at the map. “Use them as decoys. And Nia would probably stay in one place. The others she would use as scouts.”

“What about villages in this area?” Clarke asked, pointing at the swath of forest north of Polis. “Would she try to use them?”

“For what?” Ferris asked.

“A place to hide.”

“With Nia, many things are possible,” Lexa said, tone dry.

“Are these villages supportive of you?” Clarke focused again on Lexa.

“ _Heda_ —” Ferris started.

“It is a fair question.” Lexa cut him off then addressed Indra. “Send scouts to these villages.” She pointed at three red circles on the map, all within easy riding distance of Polis, Clarke estimated, though she wasn’t sure how accurate the scale of the map was. “Assess whether Nia or any _Azgeda_ loyal to her may be among them, or whether they are aiding her in some way.”

“Those villages are _Trikru_ ,” Ferris said, a hint of disapproval in his voice.

Lexa straightened and directed her full attention to him. “And there are those among my own clan who may not approve of what I am doing. It is foolish for a Commander not to consider all possibilities in matters such as these.”

“There may only be one person in a village,” Clarke interjected, “who opposes _Heda_ , but that one can still provide information and help to enemies.”

“As much as I don’t wish to think such things, _Klark kom Skaikru_ is right,” Indra said. “I will check these villages, as well.” She moved to the table and pointed at two more red dots west of Polis. “Besides, the villagers know the forests nearby best. Perhaps they can tell us of any ruins we haven’t heard about.”

“ _Heda_ ,” said a guard from the doorway. “ _Ai don lid Darya kom Azgeda in_.” 1

“ _Min yu op_.” 2

The guard moved aside and an _Azgeda_ warrior stepped into the room. She was nearly as tall as Ferris and she wore dark clothing and a long dark cloak that hung on one shoulder. She carried a short sword on her belt, and a bow was slung across her back.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said and went down on one knee. “ _Ai laik Darya kom Azgeda en ai gada imfou in kom Roan, hainofa kom Azgeda_.” 3

Lexa nodded and motioned her closer. “What is this message?”

Darya stood and moved to the opposite end of the table. Clarke caught sight of a single braid hanging down her back. Her facial scars ran primarily down the right side of her face, though there was one near her left eye. “His scouts have searched the forests between _Azgeda_ and the trading stop and have found nothing. He has left two scouts at the trading stop to coordinate further searches with your _Trikru_ scouts, should you approve them entering _Trikru_ territory.”

“ _Sha_. I will send word to them.”

“ _Mochof_. Roan also seeks entrance to the _kongeda_ and wishes to come to Polis to petition the council.”

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back. “Am I to understand, then, that _hainofa_ Roan has _Azgeda_ under his control and that no _Azgeda_ therein question such?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. He sends his assurances that _Azgeda_ has accepted his leadership.”

“No one in _Azgeda_ wishes to return Nia to that role?”

A brief look of distaste crossed Darya’s features. “I cannot say that with certainty, since we all know there are most likely those among us who may still support her, but they have not challenged him. We hear only silence from them."

Lexa looked at the doorway and nodded at the guard stationed just within. He ducked out and a few moments later Jos stepped into the room.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said with a nod.

Darya stared at her. “We thought you dead,” she blurted.

“Jos has proven herself an excellent resource.”

Darya jerked her gaze back to Lexa. “Forgive me, _Heda_. Jos was in service to Nia and we assumed—” she stopped and Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“That I had her executed for spying?”

“ _Sha_.”

“The thought did cross my mind,” Lexa said, a touch of wry humor in her voice. Clarke looked at the floor to hide her smile.

“ _Heda_ , may I speak?” Jos asked.

“ _Sha_.”

“It is true that I was pressed into service to Nia, but she threatened to kill my children. I came to Polis thinking that if I did what Nia ordered, she would leave me and my children alone when I completed my task. _Heda_ discovered what I was doing and offered me a choice. I chose service to her and Roan.”

Darya glanced at Lexa, as if seeking confirmation, then looked again at Jos. “Your family serves the ruler of _Azgeda_. How true is your loyalty to Roan?”

“I was never loyal to Nia,” Jos said, straightening. She wore a simple black dress that loaned her a bit of formality in this gathering. “My family has traditionally had ties to the ruler, but ties do not guarantee loyalty. We serve the institution, as well, but do not always support those who grace it.”

Darya looked back at Lexa. “In truth, _Heda_ , Jos’s family has been inquiring after her.”

“Then you may tell them that she is well and pleased with _hainofa_ Roan’s new role in _Azgeda_.”

“Will she be returning to _Azgeda_ with me?”

“If Jos wishes to return with you, she may.”

Clarke glanced at Jos, whose eyes widened in surprise.

“I would hope that she consider staying,” Lexa continued, “until I discuss her role here with _hainofa_ Roan. If it pleases him, I would request that Jos have a place on the council should it approve _Azgeda_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_. If that is not acceptable, I would ask him to consider that she continue service as an ambassador.”

Now Darya’s eyes widened.

“If Roan approves this arrangement, then I will request that Jos’s children be brought to Polis with her during extended periods of service.”

Jos’s eyes filled with tears and she bit her lip.

Darya actually smiled and looked at Jos. “The choice is yours. Would you return with me or stay?”

“If it pleases _Heda_ , I would like to stay in Polis until _hainofa_ Roan considers her proposition regarding my continued role here.”

“Very well. I will inform your family that you are well. Your children are well, too.”

“ _Mochof_.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Darya said, shifting her attention back to Lexa, “I extend the gratitude of Jos’s family to you, and I will tell _hainofa_ Roan what you wish with regard to her continued service.”

Lexa nodded. “Inform him as well that at his earliest convenience he may present his petition for entrance into the _kongeda_. He is welcome in Polis.”

Darya nodded once.

“Is that the extent of Roan’s message?” Lexa asked.

“It is.”

“Then I offer the hospitality of Polis to you. You will find food and a bunk in the guard house, that you may rest before you return to _Azgeda_.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa glanced at the guard in the doorway and he nodded, as well. Clarke marveled at how well Lexa’s warriors seemed tuned to her orders. Perhaps Indra trained them, and they also had served with Lexa for a while, so that they had gotten to know how she conducted business. Darya followed the guard out of the room and Lexa looked at Jos and beckoned her to the table.

“Have you thoughts on how Nia might attempt to get an assassin into the tower?”

“Nia tried to get spies into the tower over the years, but was not successful after your Ascension.”

She didn’t mention Costia, and for that Clarke was glad.

“How did she approach doing this?” Lexa rested her left hand on the hilt of her sword.

“She would look for weaknesses among tower staff and she would attempt to have her spies befriend them or—” she stopped and cleared her throat. “Pretend to fall in love with them.”

“How often has she tried to do this?” Lexa ignored the underlying reference to Landis.

“Many times, but I was the most successful attempt,” she said, but Clarke thought she heard a lilt of sadness in the statement.

“Who else might Landis have provided information to?”

“From _Azgeda_?”

“Not necessarily. Someone here in the tower. Did he speak of anyone else he was using to pass information to _Azgeda_?”

She didn’t respond right away, but she seemed to be thinking. “No, _Heda_. But that was because I provided information to him, though he did provide some about what he knew of your warriors and of the tower and city.”

Ferris frowned.

“He said nothing about his family?” Lexa betrayed nothing in her tone, but Clarke knew that Jos needed to answer carefully.

“Yes, he did speak of his family. He spoke of his uncles who do not reside in Polis, and of his cousin who comes from her village to sell merchandise in the market here.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed and she exchanged a glance with Indra. “Tell me of this cousin.”

“I do not know much about her. Landis spoke of her three times, and he had gone to see her twice when she was here with her wares during the time that I knew him. She works with leather.”

“Did Landis mention her village?”

Jos was quiet again for a few moments. “No. Not to me. But he seemed to have some fondness for her, and said once that she had been like a sister to him when they were younger.”

“Do you have a name for this cousin?” Still Lexa’s tone revealed nothing, and she stood, relaxed but somehow alert, in that way she had.

Jos’s brow furrowed in thought. “No. Strange. Thinking back on it, he never mentioned her name. Only that she works with leather and sells in Polis.”

“How often?” Lexa had clasped her hands behind her back again.

“That I don’t know.”

“Is it possible that Landis may have been passing information to her without telling you?”

“I suppose so, but why would he do that?”

“To curry favor with Nia?”

Lexa looked at Atlan. “You’re suggesting that Landis may have been trying to get in Nia’s good graces on his own as well as through Jos?”

“He may have been ambitious,” Indra said. “And wanted to ensure a place for himself in _Azgeda_ on his own without relying completely on Jos to vouch for him.”

Lexa regarded Jos again. “You told Titus that Landis was displeased with me.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Which would have made him a candidate for using him to get information out of the city to Nia.” There was no judgment in her tone, only a statement of confirmation.

“ _Sha_. I told Titus that Landis had said that you were too weak to be Commander, because you did not destroy _Maun-de_ and instead made a deal with them and then _Skaikru_ proved your weakness by doing what you did not.”

Clarke focused on Lexa, but she remained impassive.

“That is a complaint Nia has expressed, as well,” Lexa said, as if commenting on the weather.

“Landis assumed I would hold the same views as Nia. I did not disavow him of that.” There might have been a note of regret in her response, but her face remained expressionless.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said. “And you are free to move about the city, if this is something you wish to do. I will assign a guard to you for your safety, since I am doubtful that Nia will be pleased to know your position here, should any of her loyalists see you.”

Jos gave her a nod and moved to the doorway, taking Lexa’s statement as dismissal. She stopped before she exited into the corridor. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ , _kom ogeda yu don dula op_.” 4

Clarke watched her leave, appreciating the way Lexa had granted her more freedom but within careful parameters. And perhaps she was using Jos, too, to flush any Nia supporters out. She had offered Jos the opportunity to return to _Azgeda_ , probably knowing that she wouldn’t, because her position was tenuous there under Roan. Lexa vouching for her made Jos further beholden to her, and if Roan agreed to allow Jos to continue working as representative in some capacity, her loyalties would most likely fall with Lexa over Roan.

“I want to know who this cousin is,” Lexa said to Titus and Indra, “and she may be in the city now.”

They both nodded.

“ _Heda_.”

All gazes turned to the door, where Tam stood. “Mora has arrived from the trading stop.”

“ _Min yu op_.”

Tam stepped aside and Mora came in, sweat-streaked and mud-splattered. Her cloak looked damp, and the leather of her boots was darkened from moisture.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said, and gave her a nod. “Niylah is well, though she still worries that Nia may return.”

“ _Darya kom Azgeda_ informed me earlier that Roan has sent two warriors to the trading stop to help ours. Indra will send another scout to grant them permission to patrol with _Trikru_.”

“A good idea. I spoke with Niylah about the groups of _Azgeda_ that stopped there recently, with Nia among them.”

“Did she recognize Nia?” Lexa asked.

“Not at first. But she heard someone refer to her as _plana_ , so she started watching more carefully.”

“What were they doing inside the stop?”

“Some traded for dried meat and fruit while several others remained outside. Niylah noticed another woman who looked like Nia, though not as tall. This woman rode with Ontari, though Niylah did not know who Ontari was in relation to Nia. She described her accurately, though. She said that Nia rode with the other group, wearing a cloak with the hood up.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed, the only sign Clarke saw that she might have been thinking, again, about the mistakes made by her scouts. “What else did she notice?”

“Nia appeared to be extremely displeased with something one of the second group said to her.”

“Mmm. Probably the news of Roan taking _Azgeda_.”

“At that point, Nia took two warriors aside near the front of the stop and spoke with them. Niylah described the conversation as urgent. Soon after that, Nia left with one group, and the other woman with the other. She said that the other warriors didn’t say much to each other in the stop, and that they seemed to keep their distance from Nia.”

“As they should,” Indra said, just loud enough to be heard. Lexa raised an eyebrow but a smile played at the corners of her mouth. She gave Clarke a measured gaze, as if checking in with her, then looked back at Mora.

“Nia’s warriors may fear her,” Atlan said before Mora spoke again. “And that may suggest that they are not as loyal as she might hope.”

“True,” Ferris said. “But it may be best to assume they remain loyal, regardless of their fear. We cannot afford to think otherwise.”

“Still, it may be something to exploit,” Atlan pressed. “Should the opportunity present itself.”

“And we will consider them all.” Lexa placed her hands on the table, near the edge of the map. “Did Niylah offer other observations?”

Mora moved to Lexa’s left, near Clarke. “She said the group with the woman who looked like Nia seemed to be riding toward _Azgeda_ —and that is the case. The other group rode this way, north.” She traced a short distance on the map with her finger.

“ _Sha_. _Aron kom Trikru_ followed them.”

“Has there been any sign of her? I saw nothing in my ride to or from, and I took different routes.”

“No.” Lexa stared at the map. “Darya reports that Roan has found nothing, either. Clarke suggests that perhaps Nia has split the group or perhaps they are hiding in a village or a ruin.”

Mora looked at Clarke and nodded. “I had considered villages as a possibility.”

“Indra will send scouts to those closest to Polis. She will explain.” She studied the map again. “Did you tell Niylah that whatever she needs, to inform me?”

“ _Sha_. She is grateful, and speaks highly of you. So, too, does Zander. He was not at the stop when Nia was, so he could tell me nothing further about that. He did say, however, that he has noticed _Azgeda_ in the forests over the past four days, but they were going east, which would take them out of _Trikru_ territory. He said they ignored him, and he was grateful about that.”

Clarke smiled, imagining Zander’s earnestness in saying that to Mora. In a way, he had helped bring her back to Lexa.

“Very well. Indra, please coordinate scouts to check the villages. Take Mora and Tam with you. I also want a report from Arling at the gates.”

“I have that, _Heda_ ,” Mora said. “He is among the vendors just inside the gates, and has warriors disguised as merchants on both sides. They have seen no sign of Nia.”

Lexa nodded and looked over at Indra. She returned the nod and moved to the doorway.

“ _Mochof_ , _Mora kom Trikru_ ,” Lexa said. Mora bowed her head and followed Indra out of the room. She closed the door behind her.

After a protracted moment of silence, Lexa addressed Titus. “Tell me about your inquiries.”

Clarke looked at him, and marveled at how a man of his size could be so unobtrusive. He hadn’t spoken since she had gotten there and had somehow managed to blend into the background, no doubt qualities valued in a close advisor. He wore his usual robe, this one light-colored, which almost matched the walls. If he stood near them, Clarke was sure he would blend right in.

“We have found no servant woman in the tower matching the description that Danyel provided.”

“Perhaps she is not of the tower?” Ferris asked.

“A possibility,” Titus conceded. “But we also checked with the guards at the entrances, and no one saw any servant woman leave.”

“You mean a woman matching her description?” Atlan, this time.

“No. Any woman. Or, for that matter, anyone. _Heda_ ensured that as soon as she heard about the incident she ordered the tower shut down. So though it is possible that someone left before that directive, it is unlikely.”

Lexa looked at Clarke expectantly.

“So,” Clarke said, “nobody came in or out after _Danyel kom Trikru_ was attacked. What about through the tunnels?”

“We checked there, as well,” Titus said, hands clasped in front of him. “Only a few people are allowed unfettered access to the dungeons. Others must check with the guards on the first floor and again on the dungeon levels.”

“The guards at the entrances and on those levels stay at their posts in an emergency,” Lexa explained.

“The only way, then, for someone to slip out is if a guard allows it.” Atlan’s tone was grim.

“A possibility Balta, Indra, and I explored, as well,” Titus said. “We found nothing to suggest it. There is no evidence that anyone left the tower or entered after Danyel was attacked.” The emphasis he put on the last word made him seem skeptical. So he, too, was unconvinced by Danyel’s story.

“Maybe no one did,” Clarke said.

Everyone looked at her.

“Maybe that was the point,” she continued, musing aloud. “If the attack was staged, Danyel must know that there wouldn’t be much time to get someone in or out of the tower right after it.”

“This is a thought I have had, as well,” Lexa said. “The attack may have been a distraction, and not necessarily to get anyone in or out.”

“But we have found no one matching the servant’s description” Titus said.

“The description that Danyel provided, you mean.”

Again, Lexa looked at Clarke, her expression encouraging her to continue.

“He could easily have made up some details to cause us to look for someone who doesn’t exist.”

“Which means,” Atlan said, “that the woman who did this may still be in the tower, undiscovered.”

The door opened to reveal Balta. Lexa nodded at her and she entered.

“ _Heda_ , I have heard from the rest of my sources, and no one has seen anyone matching the description Danyel provided last night of his assailant.”

“We were just discussing that.” Lexa glanced at Clarke then back to Balta. “Clarke has suggested that perhaps no one either left or entered the tower, and that the attack was a distraction, but not one designed to get someone in or out.”

Balta joined the group at Lexa’s end of the table, taking a position to Titus’s right. “What, then?”

“That is what we are currently pondering.”

“ _Heda_ ,” said a guard in the doorway. “ _Yu ge gaf in_. _Taim don kom op_ _gon yu sen emo aska in_.” 5

“ _Sha_.” To the others in the room she said, “Continue with the investigation. Balta, those here will inform you about someone we need to uncover in the market. Clarke may also have some thoughts.”

“Is that wise, _Heda_?” Ferris asked. “Perhaps it puts you in a vulnerable position, given what has happened and our suspicions about Nia’s motives.”

“My duties include hearing the needs of my people, and of others in the _kongeda_. I think it would be unwise not to do so. Let the conspirators think that we ignore the threat. It may draw them out.”

Clarke’s throat tightened, though she knew Lexa was right. Appearance played an important role in power plays.

Ferris frowned, but said nothing more.

“We will discuss this further once I have finished.”

“ _Sha_ ,” they all said with nods. Lexa swept from the room, Titus at her heels, and Clarke missed her immediately.

“I will have some food brought up,” Balta said, and then we may discuss what we do and do not know.” She rolled the map up and set it on the shelf then stepped into the corridor. A few moments later she returned. “Sit,” she said. “And let us talk.”

 

1 _Ai don lid Darya kom Azgeda in_ I've brought Darya of/from Azgeda  
2 _Min yu op_ Enter [you've seen this one before!]  
3 _Ai laik Darya kom Azgeda en ai gada imfou in kom Roan, hainofa kom Azgeda_ : I’m Darya of/from _Azgeda_ and I have a message from Roan, prince of/from _Azgeda_  
4 _Mochof_ , _Heda_ , _kom ogeda yu don dula op_ : Thank you _Heda_ , for all you have done  
5 _Yu ge gaf in_. _Taim don kom op_ _gon yu sen emo aska* in_ : You are needed. It’s time to hear petitioners. [Peterson doesn’t have a word (yet) for “petitioners,” so I made one, derived from “ask”.]

 

###

Clarke stood on the balcony of the conference room, tired and stressed. Clouds drifted in front of the sun, casting the tower into shade for a few moments before freeing it and she leaned on the railing, soaking up the warmth.

They were no closer, it seemed, to figuring out what Danyel was doing and how or if it related to Nia. She knew he wouldn’t admit to anything, so they would have to uncover it through other means, though time was slipping away and she couldn’t shake the feeling that Lexa was in danger.

It felt like hours that they’d been going back and forth about scenarios and possibilities and none of it fit together. Why the hell would Danyel let someone into his quarters that didn’t normally bring his food? Why the hell would his guards allow that without checking with him? And what role, exactly, did Mykal play in this? Because she knew it was something beyond what either he or Danyel had said. They were all covering something up. But what?

A breeze ruffled her hair and she marveled at how different a subtle shift in seasons could smell and feel. She was sure she would never get tired of how the air and sun felt on her shoulders and back. Below, the city continued its daily life, probably oblivious to what happened in the tower, for the most part. Was that something Nia was counting on, too? A populace engaged with its own concerns, that ignored threats both internal and external? Somehow, she doubted it. Most people born to the ground were only too aware of threats. If only she could determine where the next one was coming from.

“Clarke.”

She jerked to attention. Lexa stood in the doorway and suddenly everything felt better.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said by way of greeting, recovering quickly. “ _Moba_. _Ai nou don sen yu in_.” 6 The words came easily to her lips as she automatically fell into the formality between them when they were in public and it occurred to her that she’d been speaking primarily in Trigedasleng throughout the day.

Lexa studied her. “You are tired.”

“So are you,” she shot back with a smile, keeping her voice low.

Lexa shrugged and flashed her a grin and it was so out of place with her normal public persona that Clarke raised her eyebrows. “There are reasons for it,” Lexa said. “And many of them are well worth it.” She, too, kept her voice low as she gave Clarke a pointed stare and past her shoulder Clarke saw Atlan speaking to Balta at the table.

“Perhaps _Heda_ might discuss these reasons with me later.” She couldn’t help herself, didn’t miss the teasing smirk at the corner of Lexa’s mouth.

“She intends to.” Lexa arched an eyebrow and Clarke bit her lip and Lexa stared at her mouth, then back at her eyes. “I am finished with the petitioners,” Lexa continued, slightly louder, “and Indra has informed me that Wash has arrived from Arkadia. We will hear his report and then perhaps you might contact Kane.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

She moved aside as Clarke stepped off the balcony, keeping her hands at her sides though it took a mighty effort. When had it gotten this hard to keep from touching her? It was like a dam had burst within and now that they were operating on a whole new level of intimacy, she wanted even more.

Ferris entered with Wash and Indra before Clarke reached the table.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said with a quick smile.

Lexa gave him a nod. “You are well?”

“ _Sha_.” He hadn’t had time to clean up, and like Darya had exhibited, streaks of mud decorated his trousers and cloak and his boots looked damp. He was holding a small packet. “ _Wanheda_.” He nodded at her. “All is well at Arkadia. We searched the vicinity and found traces of _Azgeda_ , but nothing more. I had scouts search the forests on the way back to Polis, as well. If Nia is near, she is well-hidden.”

That’s what worried her. Clarke caught Atlan’s eye for a moment, and from her expression, she had the same thought.

“I have brought some things for you,” he said.

Clarke raised her eyebrows in surprise as he handed her the small packet. “ _Reiven kom Skaikru_ wanted to make sure you got this.”

She opened it. A battery for the radio, and five mini-mines. “ _Mochof_.” She appreciated the battery, but what Raven thought she needed with the mini-mines she wasn’t sure, and it made her nervous, actually, to have bombs in Polis. She re-wrapped the cloth around the objects.

“What word from _Azgeda_?” Wash asked Lexa.

“If there are loyalists, they, too, are hidden,” Lexa said. “Roan has control of the city. He sent a messenger today seeking entrance into the _kongeda_.”

“Has he any news of Nia?”

“No,” Indra said. “But he wishes to challenge her, so he, too, searches.” She looked at Lexa expectantly.

“There is much to tell you,” she said. “Sit.” Everyone waited until Lexa did, at the head of the table. Atlan, Ferris, and Indra sat to her left and Clarke and Wash to her right, Clarke closest. She set the packet on the table.

Balta left and shut the door behind her and Clarke suspected she was going to get some food. While she was gone, Lexa filled Wash in on the most recent events. He frowned, and by the time she had finished, his frown had deepened.

“This is troubling, _Heda_ ,” he said as he tugged absently on his beard. “And what Clarke has said about Nia in relation to what happened to Danyel is something worth considering.” He looked up as Balta entered with food. She placed a platter of dried meat, cheese, and fruit in front of Lexa along with a loaf of bread and then poured tea into cups and distributed them before she sat down next to Atlan. Clarke sipped, and decided she wanted to learn how to make this tea, and not only because she liked it. She also wanted to be able to have a taste of Polis with her wherever she went.

“ _Sha_.” Lexa sipped from her own cup and motioned for the rest to eat. Wash took a piece of dried meat and cheese from the platter, followed by the others, and for a few minutes, no one spoke as they chewed. Clarke ate a piece of bread with some cheese.

“ _Heda_ ,” Wash said after he had eaten another piece of meat, “perhaps you should leave the city.”

She sat back, considering. “If I do, Nia will know that I am aware of her plans.”

“Not if you disguise yourself,” Indra said.

“Nia may still be assuming that I am here, waiting for her to respond to the call to account. If I am not here, she will use that against me.”

Indra snorted. “Is there anyone at this table who still believes Nia is going to respond in the affirmative for a call to account? Or respond at all?” She looked around the table.

Nobody said anything and Indra nodded, satisfied.

“But Nia doesn’t know that we’ve considered the possibility that she will not respond and won’t show.”

Everybody looked at Clarke.

“If _Heda_ leaves the city, she won’t know what Nia is doing, As dangerous as it may be here after what happened to Danyel, it might be moreso if she leaves and we can’t get messages to her.” She wished she had another radio so she could show Lexa how to use it. If that were the case, she’d encourage her to leave Polis in disguise.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ raises a good point,” Ferris said. “I am of the same opinion. It may be dangerous for _Heda_ in the city, but we do not know where Nia is or what specifically she may be planning. I am uneasy with _Heda_ leaving the comparative safety of the tower to go elsewhere.”

Lexa directed a long glance with Clarke that was unreadable, but it still managed to ease her tension.

“Somewhere else in the city, then?”

Lexa shifted her gaze to Wash.

“ _Heda_ would be out of the tower but close enough for us to contact her.”

“I would prefer that you focus on protecting the Conclave,” Lexa said. “Nia will most likely attempt to install Ontari as Commander if I am indisposed. To do that, she must ensure that no other _Natblida_ present an obstacle, and without the Conclave, you cannot challenge Ontari’s legitimacy.”

Lexa was right, but Clarke hated discussing possible aftermaths of Lexa being seriously wounded or killed. Though she understood that Lexa’s position as Commander entailed that she consider these outcomes, Clarke still hated it. She gripped her cup harder.

Indra scowled. “We can do that as well as ensure that you are safely out of the tower.”

A guard opened the door. “ _Heda_. _Arling kom Trikru_ —” He was interrupted when Arling pushed his way in.

Lexa stood.

“ _Heda_ ,” Arling said with a nod of respect though everything about his demeanor broadcast urgency. He was dressed plainly, as a merchant might. “There was a disturbance at the main gates.”

Everyone else at the table stood and Ferris and Indra moved closer to Lexa, hands on the hilts of their swords.

“Explain,” Lexa said to him, her hand on the hilt of one of her knives.

“A man from _Azgeda_ insists that he speak with you. He says that he will not speak to anyone but you. He does not appear to be a warrior.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed. “Where is he?”

“We have isolated him near the gates, away from others, in case he is carrying sickness.”

Biological warfare. Clarke’s stomach clenched. She remembered only too well the disease that spread around the drop ship after Murphy returned, used as the agent to introduce it.

“ _Os_. Keep him there, and minimize contact with him.”

“Perhaps Nia is testing you,” Atlan said. “She may have ordered this man to cause some kind of disturbance so that you would bring him to the tower. If he has sickness, that would ensure that it spread here.”

“Perhaps. But it would take more than two days to spread through the tower. She may be testing my defenses, though if this man is part of one of her plans, it seems likely she wanted us to bring this man to the tower.” She turned back to Arling. “Where are you holding him?”

“The guard station just inside the main gates.”

“I would speak with him.”

“ _Heda_ , is that wise?” Ferris asked.

“He may not be a loyalist, she said. “Fetch Jos and Darya,” she added to Indra. “They will accompany me to the guard station. Ferris, you will come with me. Atlan, you and Clarke and Balta continue your inquiries here.”

Clarke nodded. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said along with Atlan and Balta.

Lexa held Clarke’s gaze, and in it Clarke saw the calculation and unwavering confidence that made her Commander, but beneath it she saw some of the things that made her Lexa, in the reassurance and warmth she directed toward her.

“Come, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Balta said as she moved into the corridor.

Lexa gave her a nod and Clarke followed Balta and Atlan out of the room, wishing she could have at least given Lexa a hug, though she wasn’t sure why since neither of them had really engaged in public displays of any kind of affection and Lexa certainly wasn’t prone to much beyond a platonic arm grasp. With the possible exception of the mountain this last time, she thought as she stepped onto the lift, when she realized that Lexa had come to find her.

“I thought we might speak again with Danyel,” Balta said as the lift descended.

“No.” Clarke looked at her. “He’ll be ready for us, and he’s already got prepared answers. We should talk to Mykal again. I want a timeline for what he was doing yesterday.”

Balta smiled. “Very well. Atlan, have you objections to that?”

“No. And I intend to let Clarke do all the talking.” She grinned and Clarke smiled back, but it only served to mask the foreboding that swirled in her thoughts. The lift stopped at Danyel’s floor and she stepped off, focused on trying to learn as much as she could, though she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were running out of time.

 

6 _Moba_. _Ai nou don sen yu in_ : Sorry. I didn’t hear you.

 

###

Lexa stopped outside the guard station, Ferris at her side, four other guards behind her. Darya stood near Jos, who stood behind Ferris.

“Has he spoken?” Lexa asked the warrior at the door.

“Only to insist that he must speak with you, _Heda_.”

“Has he provided his name?”

“No.”

She had figured he wouldn’t, but she liked to be thorough. “What are your impressions of him?”

“There is a wound in his side. It appears to be a few days old. Nor does he bear the scars of an _Azgeda_ warrior. It also appears that he was attacked and beaten in some fashion.”

“Did you check him for signs of illness?”

The warrior turned and said something through the doorway and another warrior appeared. She recognized her as a healer charged to look after her warriors.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said as she dipped her head. “The _Azgeda_ is ill, but it is caused by his wound, and not something deliberately introduced to him. I have seen no signs of the blood sickness.”

“ _Os_.” Lexa led her group up the few crumbling concrete steps into the structure, a mixture of weathered brick, wood, and metal. The healer led the way down a cramped hallway to a back room with a rusty metal door. She pushed it open and stood in the doorway for a few moments, letting her eyes adjust to the dim light that filtered through a mostly intact filthy window.

A man sat in a far corner, knees drawn up to his chest, his hair hanging around his shoulders limp with sweat and dirt. His scraggly beard and mustache did nothing to hide the gauntness of his features of the bruises and caked blood on his face. The roof leaked in this room, so a big section of the wall to his right was green with algae. His wrists were chained, and he had rested his arms on his knees. He looked up at her and she recognized him immediately as one of the merchants her archers had wounded a few days prior when she rode in search of Nia.

“ _Chit don kom au, sela kom Azgeda_?” 7

“ _Heda_ ,” he said, exhaustion and relief in his voice. “I bring news.”

She approached and stood a few feet away from him, Ferris and Darya to her right, Jos right behind her.

“ _Chit ste yu tagon_ , _sela_?” 8

“ _Ai laik Fyzen_.” 9

“Very well, _Fyzen kom Azgeda_. Speak.”

“ _Mochof_ , he said with what might have been awe. “After you came across me and my friends as you were searching for Nia, then let us go, we started toward _Maun-de_ , in search of _Azgeda_ , as you suggested we do. A half-day later, we were accosted by a small group of _Azgeda_ who were still loyal to Nia, and they forced us to accompany them toward _Azgeda_. We had no horses, so we were not moving as fast as others.” He stopped, clearly weakened by whatever ordeals he had been subjected to. “But they got word from an _Azgeda_ scout that _hainofa_ Roan had control and that you had called _plana_ Nia to account. I guessed that you had done that soon after you let us go.”

“Did the scout say where Nia was?” she asked.

“On her way toward _Azgeda_ , but that was two days ago. The loyalists took us away from _Azgeda_ , and forced us back toward _Maun-de_. Then they beat us, took our weapons, and left us to die in the forests west of Polis. I thought perhaps if we came to Polis, we might be able to request mercy and rest until we could return to _Azgeda_.” He paused again. “So we started walking again, but it was slow. And then last evening we were accosted again by _Azgeda_.” He paused. “I had gone in search of water and as I was coming back, I heard many voices, not just those of my comrades. I thought perhaps _Trikru_ might have come upon us. And then I heard screams.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I got as close as I could, and _Azgeda_ warriors were abusing my comrades. They kept asking why we were going to Polis, and they said that we were _natrona_ to Nia.”

“Did you know these _Azgeda_?” she asked.

“They were warriors of Nia’s,” he said, voice infused with horror and bitterness. “And she was there, watching.”

Lexa’s hand reflexively gripped the hilt of one of the knives in her belt. “Did you hear anything she said?”

He was quiet for a few moments. “She said anyone not loyal to her was a danger, and anyone who had seen her in this area was a danger. She recognized my friends as the merchants she set to watch for bandits the day you confronted her.” His lower lip trembled. “My friends were just merchants. How could they have been dangerous?” He bit his lip and leaned his head back against the wall. “And then my own people killed my comrades.” A tear coursed down his cheek, leaving a track through the blood and dirt. “I stayed hidden until I was sure they were gone.”

Lexa wondered if perhaps his friends had said that Fyzen was already dead, to keep Nia from looking for him.

He drew a shaky breath. “And then I tried to grant my friends some honor in death, and did what I could for them.”

Lexa allowed a few moments of silence before she spoke again. When she did, she used the tone she employed with Novitiates when she was helping them work through something difficult. “Could you show me on a map where this happened?”

“ _Sha_. I have been in these forests many times with my wares. We were sticking to the routes we knew. It was slightly west of here, not more than a half-day’s walk, if you are in good health. I am not, so it took me longer.”

“Do you recall whether Nia said anything about where she was going next?”

“I could not hear very well from where I hid, but she said that soon, _Heda_ would no longer be a threat to her, and that the _kongeda_ would then be finished. I remember that, and I knew I had to come to Polis to tell you that, if nothing else.” He ran his tongue over his dry, cracked lips. “I don’t know what she meant or what she plans, but given what I know of her…” his voice trailed off.

“How many warriors were with her when they killed your friends?”

“I think six, but I was looking through underbrush and couldn’t see very well.”

Lexa nodded and turned to one of the guards. “Bring him water and get me a map of the forests.” To Jos, Darya, and Ferris, she said, “I wish to speak with you.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ , all murmured.”

She strode back outside. Once out of the guard station, Jos pushed the hood of her cloak back. “ _Heda_ , I know Fyzen’s family. He is a merchant and he does often travel on common trade routes through _Trikru_ forests as allowed. He is a metalworker, but he also serves as a middleman, and will trade with others and sell those products, as well, at market.”

“Are there complaints about him?” Ferris asked, looking down at her. Jos barely came up to his chest.

“No. People seek him out if they wish an object taken from _Azgeda_ to a buyer elsewhere.”

“Honest, then.” Ferris crossed his arms.

“ _Sha_ ,” Darya said. “I know his family, as well.”

Lexa waited for her to elaborate.

“They are as Jos has said, and like many merchants, choose not to involve themselves too much in politics unless their livelihood is threatened. Things have not been very good for business these past months, since the _kongeda_ has isolated Nia.”

“Are you suggesting that merchants cannot be loyal to their leaders?” Lexa cocked her head.

“No, _Heda_. I am suggesting that merchants tend to keep their heads down, since most are not trained as warriors. And unfortunately, under Nia’s leadership, one never knows if something one says, however it was meant, will bring her wrath.”

“Darya speaks true,” Jos said. “Please understand, _Heda_ , that statements such as these are not meant to disparage our people. It is simply that there are many of us who have watched how things have changed with her leadership, and we know that _Azgeda_ is much better than what she has allowed to come to pass.”

Darya nodded. “If I may speak freely, _Heda_?”

“ _Sha_.”

“For five years, I served in Nia’s guard, but I also worked with Roan, because I had known him for many years. I know he is not like his mother, but much more like his father in how he approaches governance. After Nia brought Ontari into her circle, she removed him from her inner circle and at that point, I know several of my fellow warriors started working to build a network that we hoped would be able to withstand Nia’s reign, and could help Roan if he managed to come to power. I was part of that group.”

This was why Roan trusted her with his messages. Lexa waited for her to continue.

“Fyzen’s father took a neutral position with Nia, and that may be why she forced Fyzen into military service. The family would not declare complete loyalty—something Roan’s father never required—so she sought to perhaps force them to.”

“Loyalty forced is not true,” Ferris said. He looked at Lexa. “Then perhaps we might consider trusting what Fyzen has told us. He did try to warn you when Maldus attacked.”

“Because I am an unknown quantity,” she said. “He knows what Nia is capable of, so he decided to take his chances with me.” She half-smiled. “Self-preservation is a powerful motivating factor.”

“ _Heda,_ he came here to tell you what he saw,” Jos said. “Wounded as he is, he is attempting to warn you.”

“Or he is in service to Nia and that’s the message she wishes me to have.” But Lexa didn’t think that was the case. She voiced it to see what position Jos would take.

“A fair point,” Jos admitted. “Could I inquire how it is you know him?”

“He and his companions were instructed to watch for bandits on the day I called her to account.”

Jos stared at her. “Military service? But they are merchants, untrained for combat.”

“ _Sha_. They said Nia threatened their families if they did not obey her. They went to _Maun-de_ with her.”

Ferris tugged thoughtfully on his beard. “It would be quite an elaborate ruse on Nia’s part to send this man here to give you this story about her whereabouts and a warning that you are in danger. That’s not the sort of information one imparts to an enemy. I am thus inclined to believe him.”

“I am also inclined thus,” Darya said, “though I am _Azgeda_ and admit that I may not be impartial.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow at Jos. “ _En yu_?” 10

“I understand why it is that you might not believe him, _Heda_. After all, he is _Azgeda_ and currently, it is difficult to tell the loyalists from Roan’s supporters. Fyzen’s family, from what I know, is not interested in politics insofar as such affects business. And under Nia, business is not as good as it could be. I may believe him because I know his family and his reputation as a merchant, but I cannot speak to whether he would lie to you or put himself in service to Nia.” She glanced at the ground then back at Lexa. “Perhaps you might find out where he saw Nia last and send scouts to determine the merits of his story.”

Lexa half-smiled. “Indeed.” She went back inside, the others hurrying to keep up. Fyzen was still seated on the floor, leaning the side of his head against the cool brick of the wall.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said when he saw her. “I have nothing to prove I am not lying. All I can tell you is that Nia has not been the leader I had hoped. I support _hainofa_ Roan, and it is in my interests, as well, that you find Nia and prevent her from doing greater damage to her people.”

“Noble statements,” she said. “I will consider them.”

A guard entered behind her and she turned.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “The map.”

She gave him a nod and took it over to Fyzen, who reeked of sweat and blood, though beneath that, she detected the sickly sweet odor of an untreated wound. “Can you show me, _Fyzen kom Azgeda_ , where you saw Nia?” She squatted to unroll the map and Ferris and Darya held the corners.

Fyzen repositioned himself so he was kneeling and he studied the map. “Here,” he said, pointing at a spot that was as he had said, about a half-day’s walk west of Polis. The other guard marked it with a piece of charcoal.

“Did you hear or see any horses?” Ferris asked.

“ _Sha_. Maybe four? I couldn’t see very well. There is a stream here—” he pointed at the map, and it was a few minutes from where he saw Nia. “I filled the skins there, but didn’t hear anything until I was here.” He tapped a spot about halfway between the stream and where he had left his friends. “That’s when I heard the first screams.” He bit his lower lip.

“What route did you take to get to Polis?” she asked him.

“I came this way, because I wanted to avoid these villages, in case Nia and her warriors were using them.”

Interesting, that he had thought that, as Clarke had.

“I did not see her or any of the warriors with her on the way here, but I also tried to stay hidden. I ran out of water…here.”

She looked where he was pointing. Barely halfway to Polis from where he’d been.

“I found some at a stream here—” he tapped the map. “But there was barely a trickle and I didn’t want to take too long to fill all my skins.”

“You saw no _Trikru_?”

“ _Sha_. I hid.”

She looked at him, waiting for him to explain.

“I am _Azgeda_ ,” he said with a grimace. “I figured that I would be taken as a Nia loyalist, which might have delayed me getting here. Or perhaps you had ordered them to have _Azgeda_ killed. I didn’t know.”

Ferris gave Lexa a look that indicated that Fyzen had a point.

“I lifted _Hainofa_ Roan’s banishment a few days ago. He has requested entrance into the _kongeda_ ,” Lexa said.

Fyzen sat back on his knees, smiling. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ , for this news.” Doing so made the corner of his mouth bleed anew and he wiped at it with a wince. He looked at Darya and his brow furrowed. “I know you,” he said. “You helped my father when he was nearly taken by the _Maunon_.”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said with a nod. “What were the names of your companions?”

He told her, then nodded back, a shared recognition of the past. “My family thanks you again,” he said, and lapsed into silence, apparently not interested in questioning why she was in Polis.

Lexa stood and Ferris rolled the map back up. “I grant you sanctuary in Polis, _Fyzen kom Azgeda_ ,” she said. “ _Hainofa_ Roan will soon be here to petition for entrance into the _kongeda_. You are welcome to request an audience with him, but you are also free to go at any time.”

He stared at her and another tear ran down his face. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “ _Mochof_.”

She turned to one of the other guards. “Bring the healer.”

The guard ducked out of the room and within seconds the healer entered.

“ _Heda_?” she said, awaiting direction.

“I have granted _Fyzen kom Azgeda_ sanctuary in Polis. Put him in a better room here, and give him a bed. He will need his wounds attended, as well.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She leaned out of the room then went over to Fyzen. Two guards entered and got him to his feet and maneuvered him carefully into the hallway.

“Keep me apprised of his condition,” Lexa said to the healer. “I want him here in case he carries sickness.” She left unspoken that she also wanted him isolated at the guard station in case he was somehow working with Nia, and was trying to gain access to the tower.

Once outside, Lexa addressed Darya. “You may take this news to Roan, and inform him of what Fyzen told us.” She knew, too, that Darya would alert the families of the two merchants Nia had killed, and she would let Fyzen’s family know that he was in Polis.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa directed guards to escort Jos and Darya back to the tower before she addressed Ferris.

“Coordinate with Indra. I want scouts in the area where Fyzen claims he last saw Nia. I also want scouts at the two closest villages to that spot to determine whether Nia has been seen or whether she is receiving aid.”

He nodded. “I’ll provide some _Trishana_ scouts, as well. We are familiar with that part of the forest.”

“ _Mochof_. And let it be known that if Nia or any of her warriors attack the scouts, they have dispensation to defend themselves to whatever extent they feel necessary.” She watched his features, since Ferris preferred to operate within custom as much as possible, and killing Nia before the period of time given for a response to an accounting had passed might not sit well with him. However, he simply nodded, a hard glint in his eyes.

“Then let us return. There is much work still to do.” And it was already late afternoon. She started walking toward the tower, Ferris at her side, and guards all around them.

“You don’t entirely believe Fyzen’s story,” he said.

“I believe enough of it to give him sanctuary. But if he is ill, this seems the best way to ensure we can contain it, whether he was forced to carry it or not. Besides,” she said after a few more steps, “I don’t wish to introduce an unknown quantity into the tower. We already have several.” She sounded sarcastic, she knew, but Ferris merely nodded.

“What of Danyel?”

Lexa grimaced. “If his story was a waterskin, there would be several leaks. However, I cannot determine how the holes came to be, and what connection they may have to each other.”

“Perhaps Clarke, Atlan, and Balta will be able to uncover something more. In the meantime, _Heda_ , I strongly advise that you take precautions and at least consider staying elsewhere in Polis. Even if someone is watching, there are ways to mask what we are doing.”

“That is what Nia expects me to do.”

“But you can present a situation in the tower that makes it appear as if you are still within.”

“And if something comes up that requires my immediate attention?”

He didn’t respond.

“That is risky, as well. Time is short, and you waste it trying to contact me somewhere in the city if I am not in the tower.” But she would definitely convince Clarke to leave the tower, though that would be a battle. Clarke was, quite possibly, more stubborn than she herself. Endearing as that was, it was also frustrating. Regardless, she fought a smile because she had come to know these things about Clarke and she hoped that she would come to know many more. She entered the tower and walked to the lift.

“ _Heda_ ,” came Titus’s voice behind her, urgent.

She waited for him to approach. “ _Sha_.”

“We believe we have located the vendor.”

“Where is she?”

“En route to the tower, with guards.”

Lexa nodded, pleased. “How did you find her?”

“There are four leather workers currently in Polis. Three are men.”

Fortuitous. “Are we certain she is the one who may have had contact with Landis? There are other women who work with leather.”

“True, but her young son was there and when I inquired about her relationship to Landis, he answered rather quickly, much to her irritation.”

So she probably wasn’t going to volunteer the information otherwise. “What is her name?”

“ _Kal kom Trikru_.”

The possibility of another _natrona_ among _Trikru_ both angered and disappointed her. She knew the name Kal, as Commanders were expected to know the different families among their people, but she had not known of her connection to Landis. She was about to say something more when two guards appeared, a slight, dark-haired woman between them. Titus went to direct them to one of the rooms near the tower entrance.

“ _Lok Klark kom Skaikru en Atlan kom Floukru op_ _en lid emo in hir_ ,” Lexa said to one of the guards. “ _Osop_.” 11

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Titus emerged from the room where the guards had put Kal. “I told her we have some questions for her, and that someone will come to ask them.”

“You didn’t tell her I would be the one to do that?”

“No. I thought perhaps you might wish to surprise her.”

She raised an eyebrow at his deadpan quip. “I have requested Clarke’s presence, as well.”

His jaw tightened but he nodded.

“And Atlan’s.”

He relaxed and Lexa didn’t push his discomfort with Clarke any further. She would do so later, but this was not the proper time or place.

“What are your thoughts about this woman?” she asked instead.

“She seems smart, and prepared. When the guards asked her to accompany them, she did.”

“As if she was expecting it?”

“No, but it does seem she is confident that she will be able to extricate herself from this situation.”

“She may, if we cannot prove she did anything wrong.” The taste of those words was bitter in her mouth. The irritation and frustration she’d been carrying since the day before surfaced in full. She forced it out of the front of her mind. It would do no good if she allowed herself to be ruled by it.

“ _Heda_ , I have also taken precautions with regard to the Conclave,” Titus said softly.

“ _Os_. Until we have a better idea of what Nia is doing, I think that is best.” She hated having to uproot the Novitiates again, but it was also useful for them, and demonstrated some of the things Commanders faced.

“ _Heda_ ,” said Atlan as she and Clarke stepped off the lift. “What has happened?”

“It appears Titus has located the vendor Landis may have been working with.”

“Where is she?” Clarke asked and again Lexa fought a smile because that was exactly the reaction she had predicted from her. Right to the issue.

“In a holding room. She does not know who her questioners will be. I thought perhaps you two might join me.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said. Atlan nodded and Lexa led them to the room. A guard opened the door and went in first then stepped aside for Lexa.

Kal was seated on a bench and her eyes widened. “ _Heda_ ,” she said and stood, flicking a glance at Clarke and Atlan as well.

“Sit.”

She did, and Lexa assessed her. Probably about Landis’s age. The braids of her dark hair were interwoven with leather strips and her darker eyes held wariness but also a hint of defiance. She had no facial tattoos, but the tips of what might have been a stylized bird claw showed on her neck, above her collar. Her fingertips were stained slightly reddish with a dye she had probably been working with.

“Tell me, _Kal kom Trikru_ , of your relationship to _Landis kom Trikru_.”

At that, Kal’s eyes narrowed and her grip on the edge of the bench tightened. “He was the son of one of my mother’s sisters.”

Lexa didn’t ask her to elaborate on that, since she knew who Landis’s mother was. She merely waited, until the silence stretched a little tighter, like the grip Kal had on the bench.

“We were close as children,” she finally said.

“Only as children?”

She hesitated.

“It is my understanding that perhaps you and Landis maintained ties long after childhood. Perhaps you might elaborate.”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said softly. “We did. He would visit me when I came to Polis to the market.”

“When was the last time he visited?”

“Not long before he died,” she said, and this time she raised her gaze and it held a spark of challenge, perhaps accusation since Lexa had ordered his execution.

She ignored it. “How long? A day? Two? Think carefully about lying to me, _sela_.”

Kal loosened her grip on the bench then tightened it again. “Two days. I did not see him the day before his death. Nor did I attend it.” Again, a hint of accusation in her eyes and tone.

“There is no requirement that all family attend the execution of _natrona_ ,” Lexa said. “Though it is, perhaps, expected.”

Kal swallowed, her expression demonstrating that she may have realized that she overstepped.

“Landis provided you information that you passed on to someone else. Who?”

She swallowed again, her expression indicating that this was much more serious than she had thought.

Lexa waited, and again the silence stretched. Behind her, she heard Clarke breathing.

“I don’t know who it was,” Kal finally said.

Lexa stepped closer. “Perhaps you are not aware of your position here, _Kal kom Trikru_. I have little patience for those who lie to me. One member of your family has already paid for his treachery. Do you wish to pay me a similar debt?”

She licked her lips and sweat collected at her hairline. “He didn’t tell me what the messages were, only that he needed me to take them to someone else.”

“Who?”

“A man I don’t know.”

“ _Azgeda_?”

“No. _Delfikru_.”

That almost took her aback, but she didn’t show it. “Describe him.”

“We did not speak much, and only a few words at that. Usually he would just take the message from me and leave. But I can tell you that he is young, and not a warrior. His hands don’t bear the scars of those who train for that path. He has dark hair, like mine, but I never saw braids.”

Lexa considered her statements. She could be lying. Or perhaps not. “How do you know he is _Delfikru_?”

“Landis told me that he is a friend from that clan, and I could trust him with the messages, that they would get where Landis needed them to go.”

“Which was where?”

“I don’t know.”

Lexa believed her because she no longer sounded defiant and instead an undercurrent of fear colored her words. “Where would you meet to give him messages?” she continued.

“Not far from the tower, on the street where warriors go to drink. It’s a place that _Trikru_ frequent, and we would meet outside.”

She knew the establishment.

“It was always just after dark, and he always wore a cloak with a hood, so I didn’t get a good look at his features beyond glimpses, but because he is young and slim, I thought he might be a woman the first time I took a message to him. I almost didn’t deliver it because of that, since Landis had told me to deliver to a man.”

Lexa tapped the pommel of one of her knives with her finger. “How many messages did you take to him?”

“Three.”

Jos had said that Landis had gone to see Kal twice. “When did you take the first message?”

“It was…around the time _Wanheda_ came to Polis the first time. Perhaps a little before.” She glanced at Clarke then back at Lexa.

Landis may not have been as involved with Jos then as he had been later, and may not have mentioned the first meeting. “What were these messages?”

“I don’t know. He just said they were important and could help with the situation with _Azgeda_ —” she stopped and stared at Lexa with dawning realization. “They were not messages about _Azgeda_ , were they? They were _for_.” She slumped, then, all her earlier bravado leaving her like water poured from a pitcher. “I didn’t realize—” she held her head in her hands.

Lexa didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. Instead, she looked at Clarke and she understood and moved closer to Kal.

“Do you know where this man went after you gave him the messages?” Clarke asked.

Kal lifted her head, stricken. “No. I would just hand it to him and he would walk away. He didn’t talk much. A greeting once, and one other time he said to be careful, that people might be watching.” She groaned. “I thought Landis was helping _Trikru_. Why would he do this?”

“Did he ever mention a woman?” Clarke sat on the bench next to her. “Someone important to him?”

“I thought he was being foolish.” She shook her head. “Because he said he had met someone and he seemed taken with her, but he wouldn’t tell me her name. He said that his family would not approve.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Unless she was _Azgeda_.”

Clarke exchanged a quick look with Lexa.

“Landis’s father lost a sister to _Azgeda_.”

“She was killed?”

“No. She defied their father for an _Azgeda_ warrior when Landis was very young. She was later taken by the _Maunon_ , and her family blamed the warrior for not protecting her.” She stared at the floor. “Landis said she had children, but he had never met them.”

Atlan crossed her arms and frowned.

So Landis may have had family ties with _Azgeda_ , and those children would be a little younger than he had been before his execution.

“Did Landis ever say anything about _Heda_?” Clarke asked and Lexa watched Kal even closer.

She cleared her throat, nervous.

“I will not hold you responsible for the words of another,” Lexa said.

She rubbed her palms on her trousers. “He said a few times that he thought you were weak, because you didn’t fight the _Maunon_ and instead let _Skaikru_ do it. He said that the clans needed a stronger leader. I told him not to say such things given his position, but he would laugh and say that he was good at hiding how he really felt.” She sighed and leaned back against the wall. “He did stop saying those things around me. Why did I not see what he was doing? I thought he had made peace with what happened at _Maun-de_ and was worried about what _plana_ Nia might have been trying to do.”

Clarke waited a moment before asking another question. “When did you deliver the last message?”

“The last time I saw him, two days before he died.” She was completely defeated, Lexa saw, as the realization that someone she loved truly had been a traitor hung itself around her neck.

Clarke stood. “It’s important that we find out where this Delfikru messenger went. Can you think of anything that might give us an idea?”

“No,” she said. “Because as soon as I gave him the message, he would walk away, toward the market, when it was already nearly dark.”

Easy to lose oneself in that area, because there would still be crowds until a bit later after nightfall.

“All I know is what I have said.” She sounded almost miserable and Clarke again caught Lexa’s gaze, letting her know that she thought they had gotten all they could out of Kal.

“Very well,” Lexa said. “How long will you remain in Polis this time?”

“Another seven days.”

“I have not yet decided, _Kal kom Trikru_ , whether I believe that you did not realize that you, too, were aiding _Azgeda_ as well as a man who sought to betray me to enemies. You have a chance to prove my suspicions unfounded, if you continue to help us in the manner you have here.”

Kal nodded, wide-eyed and contrite.

“If you do not, you understand the punishment that might bring?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Her voice trembled.

“Very well. You may go.” Lexa looked at the guard in the doorway. “ _Goch em ouder op_.” 12

He nodded and moved to the bench. Kal stood and he took her arm and led her out of the room.

“She didn’t know,” Clarke said after a few seconds.

“It seems not,” Lexa said in agreement, wishing Atlan wasn’t near so that she could have a few moments alone with Clarke. She was greedy for every one of those she got, and impatient to make more.

“But it further implicates _Delfikru_.” Atlan made a disgusted noise in her throat.

“Speaking of, Mykal couldn’t seem to recall all the things he did yesterday,” Clarke said. “But Balta was able to confirm that he spent time in the kitchens before morning meal, and that he was seen leaving the kitchens again around midday, but no one saw him there the rest of the day.”

“Danyel’s other servants didn’t remember seeing him, either, after midday.”

Lexa tapped the hilt of her knife. “The question thus becomes where was he during that stretch of time?”

“Mykal has been with Danyel for a few years.” Clarke took a few steps almost to the door then she turned and came back.

Lexa enjoyed yet another glimpse into how her mind worked. When she was puzzling something out, she was restless, and would do something physical to work through things.

“He was here, then, when you brought me to Polis the first time.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Atlan said.

“And Landis was also here, serving in the tower guard.”

Lexa suddenly realized what Clarke was getting at. She locked gazes with her. “Atlan,” Lexa said without taking her eyes off Clarke’s, “I need to know if servants or guards saw Landis and Mykal interact. I need a definitive connection.”

Clarke nodded. “It fits. Mykal and Landis were in the city at the same time, and Kal overlapped, so Landis could use her to take messages to Mykal. They were all here.”

“So, too, was Danyel,” Lexa said, tone grim.

“ _Nomonjoka_ ,” Atlan swore. “I will find Balta and Titus.” She left them still staring at each other.

“Well done,” Lexa said.

“We don’t quite have all the pieces in place,” Clarke said and she moved closer, until she was within reach.

Lexa fought the urge to touch her, given the open door to the corridor and the guards just outside.

“But it seems to fit.”

“It does.” She smiled. “ _Mochof_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

Clarke sucked her lower lip between her teeth and Lexa forced herself to focus on Clarke’s eyes, though that only added fuel to the heat she felt building—again—between them.

“I know this is a really inappropriate time, _Heda_ , but I really want to kiss you,” Clarke said, and she punctuated it with one of her little grins. “It seems I want that a lot.”

Lexa was about to say something when she heard shouts and booted feet running in the corridor. She and Clarke immediately stepped out of the holding cell, one of her swords already drawn before she got to the door when Tam pushed through a group of guards who stood near the entrance to the kitchens, from which faint shouts emanated.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, “there is a fire in the first kitchen. It started a few minutes ago. A pile of rags.”

Smoke emerged from the arched doorway to the kitchens and crept along the ceiling, seeking the open air of the plaza beyond.

“Shut the doors,” Clarke yelled at the guards near the main doors. “Don’t feed the flames.”

They did as she said, and smoke started filling the corridor. Lexa’s eyes teared. “How bad is it?” she asked Tam.

“There’s a bucket line from the other kitchen. Nobody is hurt, but the smoke—”

Several servants appeared in the doorway, coughing. “The flames are out,” one said before she succumbed to a coughing fit. Someone opened the main doors to help clear the air.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, “this doesn’t have the feel of an accident.”

“I agree,” Clarke said. “It’s too coincidental. We need to get you somewhere safer.”

“I wish to see the kitchen,” she said and started through the doorway.

“ _Heda_ ,” another servant shouted as he practically threw himself out of the stairwell. “There’s a fire—”

And then a muffled explosion sounded from somewhere above, powerful enough for Lexa to feel part of it through her boots.

“Tam,” Clarke shouted over the noise and confusion, “get _Heda_ out of here _now_.”

“Clarke—” Lexa said. “Stay close.”

“Come on.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s arm and started pulling her toward the stairs to the dungeon levels, nearly running into Balta and Atlan. “Take her,” Clarke said to them. “She’s not safe in the tower.”

“Neither are you,” Lexa gripped her wrist.

“I have an idea.”

“I know what your ideas involve,” Lexa said, afraid of letting go, afraid that Clarke was going to do something that couldn’t be undone.

“ _Heda_ , we must go,” Tam implored. “Clarke is right. It’s not safe.”

“Go,” Clarke said. “I’ll take Atlan with me.”

“Where?” Lexa demanded, still holding onto Clarke’s arm.

“Up. I think I know what’s happening and I think I know who’s doing it.”

“There’s fire,” someone yelled from above but then Lexa heard Indra, from the main entrance, barking orders and it seemed that the confusion decreased.

“Clarke—”

“It’s Mykal. It has to be,” she said. “And Danyel. Now go, before you’re an even bigger target.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said, urgency in her voice. “Clarke is right. Come. Atlan will bring her to us later.”

Clarke used her other hand to squeeze Lexa’s where it still gripped her arm.

“ _Ste kefa_ ,”13 Lexa said.

“ _Yu seintaim_.” 14

She released Clarke’s arm and Clarke gave her hand a squeeze and went up the stairs, Atlan behind her, and Lexa followed Balta and Tam to the dungeons and the tunnels, her chest tight with worry and beneath that, a cold rage that Nia had brought this to Polis, to the tower. And if something happened to Clarke—she gripped the hilt of her sword tighter, muscles in her arm contracting with the need to strike.

There would be nowhere Nia could hide, if that happened.

Nowhere.

7 _Chit don kom au, sela* kom Azgeda_? What happened, merchant of/from _Azgeda_? [Peterson doesn’t seem to have a word for “merchant,” so I made one. “Sela” is my term, derived from “seller/one who sells/sale”.]  
8 _Chit ste yu tagon_ , _sela_? What is your name, merchant?  
9 _Ai laik Fyzen_ : I am Fyzen  
10 _En yu_? And you? [you've seen this one!]  
11 _Lok Klark kom Skaikru en Atlan kom Floukru op_ _en lid em in hir_... _osop_ : Find Clarke [of/from _Skaikru_ ] and Atlan [of/from _Floukru_ ] and bring them here…hurry.  
12 _Goch em ouder op_ : Escort her outside.  
13 _Ste kefa_ : Stay safe  
14 _Yu seimtaim_ : you also

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, everybody! Okay, so here's my longest chapter yet, coming in at over 12K words. You'll also notice superscripts with the Trigedasleng and corresponding translations at the end of scenes. That's in response to a request from someone who uses the search function to bounce back and forth. I also got a request to put the English translations right in the text, but I think that detracts from the flow, so we're going to try the superscripts, and I'm going to restart the numbers each chapter, so we don't end up with, like, 238 superscripts or whatever the hell. Hope this helps. Oh, just from here on out, until I find time to code the rest of this. :)
> 
> And you get to see Lexa and company trying to figure out what's going on and where the danger is coming from, but fortunately, some things reveal themselves through unexpected quarters, and we now know, roughly, where Nia might be. But omg WTH with the shit going down in the tower? And did Clarke make the right call? Hell, who knows? She's Clarke, and she's constantly trying to fix things and she also wants to make sure Lexa stays safe not only because she's Commander and important to everything, but also because she DUH has major feelz for her and wants to keep her bae safe. So whether it's the right call or not, it's totally Clarke.
> 
> So here's the schedule as I know it. I won't be able to update for a couple of weeks, probably, because I'm dealing with some things of the family variety and it's requiring some focus. Plus, I'll be on the road this weekend, and away from my computer (holy crap) and actually, away from the internet. Yep, I'm taking a bit of a recharge and going kind of off the grid. Just a few days. I'll be back at it early next week because omg shit is getting so real now in this freakin' reboot that I can't even and I need to get to what happens next! (yes, I actually have an idea about that, and omg...stay tuned!) Expect another chapter around the week of April 3.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for the kudos and comments. I try to respond as I can; keep in mind I'm off the grid for a bit, but I'll get to it when I'm back online. :) Thanks for joining me. You can also find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com).
> 
> Some tunes that helped me in the writing of this chapter: Gryffin, Illenium, Daya, "Feel Good"; Join the Riot, "Reunion"; So Below, "Hard"; Leroy Styles and Neil Ormandy, "Can't Let Go"


	60. Web of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa decides not to leave the tower and Danyel's machinations may be revealed. Indra then has bad news from the city proper and Lexa decides to leave the tower to deal with it. Meanwhile, Clarke discovers someone hiding in plain sight then someone entirely unexpected shows up at the city gates and Clarke decides to leave the tower, too, to find out more.

Lexa stood at the entrance to the tunnels. Clarke was probably right to want her out of the tower, since they both suspected that Nia was targeting her directly, but she was Commander, and of course nothing was ever simple. And neither was Clarke, for that matter.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, urging her into the tunnel. “We must go.”

Lexa turned to look at her and Balta. “Why would there be a fire _and_ an explosion?”

“Diversions,” Balta said.

“But why?”

“Perhaps because Nia is hoping you will go to determine the exent of the damage.”

Lexa nodded at Balta. “Perhaps.” The fire in the kitchen was mostly smoke, which forced people to respond in certain ways and drove others out of the area. That was the only thing, however, needed for a diversion. The explosion, however—a thought occurred to her, and it sent icy spikes through her chest.

“Come,” she said to Tam as she sheathed her sword and before either Tam or Balta could say anything more, she had left the cell where this tunnel entrance was located and was running back toward the stairs. She heard Tam behind her but she didn’t wait, and instead almost leapt onto the stairs and bolted up, two and three at a time, racing against what she feared could happen.

She passed the first floor and a servant flattened himself against the wall to give her room.

“Where was the explosion?” she asked, pausing.

“On the _kongeda_ representatives’ floor, _Heda_. There was fire there, too, but it’s out. A few were injured—”

She didn’t wait to hear more and instead continued her flight, heart and lungs pumping harder, urging more blood, more effort, more strength to her legs. Servants on their way down stopped to give her more room while those on their way up pressed themselves against the opposite wall of the narrow confines of the winding stairwell.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said behind her as they neared the representatives’ floor. “Wait.”

“There is no time. Whoever did this may have planned another explosion, after drawing everyone out to help the wounded.”

“All the more reason we must be careful.”

Tam was right and Lexa slowed, assessing, though Clarke was somewhere up there and all she wanted to do was bolt the rest of the way and find her. The stairwell here was dim, as some of the torches were missing and what looked like a fine dust floated in the close air, probably from the stone that had been blasted. She heard shouts, but no sounds of weapons in use. She pressed on, Tam close behind, and stopped again at the entrance to the floor. The dust in the air here was thicker, and she saw the bobbing light from torches, which explained why they were missing from the stairwell.

“ _Eni stedaunon_?” 1 she asked the first guard she saw.

“ _No_ , _ba bida gada ledon op_.” 2

“ _Weron laik fisa_?” 3

“ _Thri ste hir_ , _Heda_.” 4

“ _En souda gyon au_. _Sis ai op_.” 5

He stared at her, confused.

“ _Non ste klir_ ,” Tam said, as if she was reading her mind. “Get them moved to lower floors. _Osop_.” 6

“Take the injured to the level above the first floor,” Lexa said, and he nodded and went into a nearby room, where she heard him telling someone to get out.

“You take that side.” Lexa gestured to her right. “I’ll take this one. Get everyone out. Quickly.” She pushed into the corridor, picking her way around debris, which was mostly glass from the doors and chunks of stone from the walls. Guards and servants were engaged in checking the various quarters and a few were carrying injured into some of the rooms. “Out,” she ordered when she saw someone. “Take the wounded to the floor above the first.” Where was Clarke? She searched every room to her left, ordering people out as she found them.

“ _Heda_.”

She turned at Garret’s voice. He held a torch and his face was gray with a layer of dust from the stone. Blood streaked the side of his face, but it didn’t look like it came from him.

“Most of the representatives are not seriously injured. The explosion was in the hallway between Gani’s quarters and Ferris’s, and fortunately they weren’t on this floor.”

“Where are the representatives now?”

“I took them down to the first floor and sent for a healer.”

It would have to do. “Did you see Clarke?”

“ _Sha_. She was here, saying the same thing you are about getting people out. She was also looking for Danyel and Mykal.”

“And where are they?”

His expression turned grim. “We have not found them yet. I already checked Danyel’s quarters.”

She nodded. “Go. There may be another explosion. Get everyone off this floor.”

His eyes widened but he reacted immediately and went into the room behind him and she heard him issuing instructions.

She went back to clearing her side of the corridor, but saw no sign of Clarke and her throat tightened with both worry and dust. She worked quickly and methodically, checking each room. As she exited one, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, in the clouds of dust. The chunks of debris on the floor were bigger here, and what looked like a human figure stumbled, a few paces away. Lexa started toward whoever it was, hand on the hilt of one of her swords.

“ _Heda_?” Atlan said, materializing nearby, surprise and concern in her voice. Dust coated her like a layer of ash, making her appear ethereal.

“ _Sha_.” Behind her she heard movement from the figure she had seen stumble. Atlan heard it, too.

“Who’s there?” Atlan said. “Are you injured?” She moved closer to Lexa and they both stood, quiet.

“Danyel,” said a female voice nearby. “ _Yu ste ait?_ ”

He didn’t respond.

Lexa wiped at her eyes. “Danyel,” she said, but he didn’t respond. Atlan frowned.

“Danyel,” she called.

“ _Heda_?” said the voice followed by a cough. A guard appeared, wiping at her face.

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Yu ste ait_?”

“ _Sha_. _En yu_?”

“ _Sha_.” She glanced around. “I saw Danyel,” she said, clearly puzzled. “He was close by but when I called him, he didn’t respond and I could not locate him again.”

“You’re sure it was Danyel?”

The guard nodded and coughed again. “I was as close to him as I am to you now. He is the only representative with an eye patch. He appeared to be kneeling, then he moved away as I approached. I thought perhaps he hadn’t heard me.”

“He surely heard us,” Atlan said with a glance at Lexa.

“We need to get everyone we can off this floor quickly. “Tell all you see to do the same. You as well,” she added to the guard as she wiped at her eyes, which were tearing again from the dust. “Have either of you seen Clarke?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Atlan said. “She was just—”

“Here,” Clarke said, and relief flooded Lexa’s veins. Clarke appeared, consternation on her features. “Why did you come up here? I’m trying to clear the floor. There may be another explosion and you’re in danger.”

“I know. So are you.” Lexa gripped Clarke’s arm before she could say anything. “Tam is clearing the floor on the other side. Atlan, we need to leave.”

“I will accompany you both.” She started to walk back the way Lexa had come.

“No,” Lexa said. “This way is closest.” She pressed on, Clarke with her, and stopped to check one of the last rooms before the stairwell.

“ _Heda_ , we must go,” Atlan said.

“I agree.” Clarke motioned from the doorway toward the stairwell and Lexa started to move around her then paused, almost sensing the split-second shift in air pressure before the explosion ripped through the corridor. She grabbed Clarke even as they were both thrown to the floor in the doorway, Lexa on top. She automatically protected Clarke’s head as stone, glass, and bits of wood peppered her back, but she had her coat on, and it offered her cover.

For a few moments after the last of the debris fell, she lay still, holding Clarke, her full weight on her. Lexa’s ears rang and though she heard shouting, it sounded distant, like it was at the end of a tunnel.

“Clarke.” She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees to get her weight off her, and gently brushed at her face, holding her breath.

Clarke coughed and moved. Her fingers tightened on Lexa’s and Lexa exhaled, relieved.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked before she coughed again.

“ _Sha_. You?”

“I think so.”

Lexa got to her feet and helped her up then stepped back to assess her physical condition, but the corridor was mostly dark, now, and her eyes hadn’t adjusted.

“I’m okay.” Clarke brushed something out of Lexa’s hair, and her gaze shifted down toward Lexa’s feet, checking her. Seemingly satisfied that she was not seriously injured, Clarke moved closer and peered through the swirling clouds of dust.

Lexa also glanced around. The second explosion might have done more than injure anyone, or perhaps they were fortunate and most people had been evacuated. She heard no other voices, but her hearing was still off and most of the torches were out.

“Is anyone there?” Clarke shouted and then they both waited, listening, though the ringing in Lexa’s ears might have blocked some sounds.

“Hello?” Clarke shouted. “Anyone?”

A few more moments passed, and Lexa gritted her teeth, practically willing people to respond.

“ _Sha_.” Atlan appeared, coughing and wiping what looked like blood and dust off her face. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “So is Lexa.”

If Atlan noticed Clarke’s slip, she gave no sign.

“I saw Garret before the explosion,” Lexa said. “Find Tam as well.”

“I’ll go back toward the other entrance and look for him. What of the guard?”

“Here,” came her voice and another coughing fit.

“Go," Lexa said. "Have a healer check you.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She moved away, coughing.

“Don’t take long,” Lexa said to Atlan. “Keep moving if possible, and warn others to minimize time on this floor.”

“ _Heda_ , perhaps it is best that I get you out of here.”

“I’ll leave now with Clarke. You find Garret and Tam.”

Atlan nodded and disappeared into the dust.

“There may be survivors,” Lexa said.

“We’re not going to search right now.” Clarke glanced past her in the direction Atlan had gone. “It’s not safe. Plus, we need more light.” She took Lexa’s hand and pulled her toward the closest exit off this floor, the one Lexa had been trying to get to earlier.

“Carefully,” Lexa said, as they picked their way around chunks of stone on the floor.

“ _Now_ you want to be careful?” Clarke snapped, but her statement was laced with worry and her grip on Lexa’s hand tightened. “You’re lucky you’re _Heda_.” She looked back at her. “Because once we’re out of here, my lecture about you not listening to me might be more respectful.”

Lexa coughed and spat grit onto the floor. “I did listen to you.”

Clarke snorted and it caused her to cough, as well.

“I chose not to take your advice.”

“Clearly.”

“ _Heda_ ,” someone shouted from the opposite end. “ _Yu ste hir_?” 7

“ _Sha_ ,” she shouted back. “ _Ai en Clarke ste ait_. _Lufa kom kika au, ba osop. En souda hos op_.” 8

“ _Sha_ ,” he responded and Lexa continued on with Clarke, forcing herself not to simply grab her and carry her into the stairwell. The floor was covered with debris from the first explosion, and she chafed at what seemed their slow progress getting through it, though they were moving quickly, she knew. They got through the worst of it when guards and servants carrying torches appeared in front of them and Clarke released Lexa’s hand. Lexa missed her immediately.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said as she pushed through them. “ _Yu en Clarke ste ait?”_ 9

“ _Sha_.”

Indra gave them both a cursory onceover, as if unconvinced. “ _Os_ ,” she said after a moment. “We’re looking for Atlan and Garret.”

“She’s on her way to the other end of this floor, in search of him and Tam.” Lexa wiped dust off her lips. “Where are the other representatives?”

“On the first floor. I did not think the council room would be safe. Since you have accounted for Atlan, Garret is the only one missing.”

“What about Danyel?” Clarke asked and Indra turned her gaze to her.

“After the first explosion, Garret said he was missing,” Lexa said.

“No longer. He’s on the first floor, too,” she said with a touch of distaste. “He showed up right after the second explosion.”

“And Mykal?” Clarke asked.

“Missing. Danyel will not say anything about his possible whereabouts.” She motioned the knot of guards aside. “ _Heda_ , it is not wise to stay here.”

“I know. Check for survivors quickly and get them off this floor as soon as you can. I’ll go to the first floor with Clarke.”

She nodded and ordered the guards to search, but to keep one at the entrance to the stairwell to discourage others from entering.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said, and she released Indra’s arm. “Make sure all get off this floor fast.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Her tone was grim. “Take this.” She handed her torch to Clarke then turned away with a nod.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, a note of formality in her tone. “Come on.” She held the torch a little higher and the light revealed the debris on the floor.

The guards moved aside and Lexa almost took Clarke’s hand again, but managed to refrain though she marveled at how natural it had become, this way of relating between them, after the months of physical and emotional distance.

Once in the stairwell, the air was clearer and some of the nearby torches in the sconces still burned. Clarke handed hers to the guard Indra had ordered to dissuade people from entering from the stairwell and another who stood near drew her sword and started leading them down.

They descended, until Lexa pulled Clarke to a stop halfway down to the first floor. “Wait,” she said, and all three stood close in the dim light cast by a torch around the next curve, listening. A few loud voices from above drifted down the stairwell. From below, Lexa caught a few similar sounds, though she still had a faint ring in her ears.

“I still don’t think it’s safe for you in the tower,” Clarke said in a low voice.

Lexa put a finger to her lips and listened some more, but she heard nothing that seemed out of place for the circumstances. Another guard approached from below, huffing up the steps. He stopped when he saw them.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said, relief in his voice. “The representatives have been asking about you. I’ll let them know—”

“Wait,” Clarke said.

The guard looked at Lexa, confused. She nodded at Clarke to continue.

“Don’t say anything to them about _Heda_. We’ll be down shortly.”

He frowned, but Lexa nodded again. That would give them an element of surprise in terms of Danyel, if he was ultimately responsible for this. “A good idea,” she said. “Go. We’ll be there shortly.”

He inclined his head respectfully and went back down the stairs.

“This way,” Clarke said, and she pushed past the guard to the next landing, where she stopped. “What’s on this floor?” she asked Lexa.

“Storage, mostly.”

“Perfect. _Heda_ , if I may, a word, please? In private?”

Lexa arched an eyebrow, but she had come to know the different intonations in Clarke’s voice, and this was urgent. She looked over at the guard. “ _Odop_.” 10

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Clarke opened the door and motioned Lexa into the darkened corridor beyond. “The fire in the kitchen was a diversion to keep you inside the tower,” she said as soon as she had shut the door behind them. “Whoever set it—and I’m betting it was Mykal—knew you would want to check on it. The explosion was designed to get you to go up to that floor.”

“Yes. And the second was designed to kill me.” Her eyesight had adjusted to the unlighted area enough that she could make out Clarke’s features, including her glare.

“Then why didn’t you leave the tower? That explosion could have killed you, if you had been at the other end of the floor.”

“Because what you just said occurred to me after we parted ways. All on the floor where the explosions occurred needed to be warned.” She put her finger briefly over Clarke’s lips. “And I am _Heda_ ,” she said softly, the weight of the responsibilities her position entailed imbued in the statement.

Clarke’s shoulders sagged a little. “Lexa…” She rubbed her forehead, her other hand on her hip. “You can’t care for your people if you’re injured or worse.”

Lexa could almost feel the irritation and worry rolling off her, but she remained silent, giving her room to continue.

“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” she finally said, frustration evident in her voice and body language.

She started to respond but Clarke raised her hand to keep her from saying anything.

“Never mind. You’re _Heda_. I understand that. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it all the time. Especially not when someone is clearly trying to kill you because of it.”

Lexa waited.

“And I know Danyel is somehow behind this, but I can’t prove it and I know I’m missing something about Mykal and that whole stabbing incident and this whole thing just really pisses me off,” she said in a rush as she started pacing. “And I told you not to go up there.” She turned. “You could have been killed. And that is not something I can even bring myself to think about.” She ran both hands through her hair. “I can’t even begin contemplating that. Fuck,” she said. “Just—fuck.” She paced in silence for a few moments, and Lexa let her, knew she wasn’t finished.

“Could you please maybe take my advice in the future?”

“Clarke,” Lexa said, “I’m okay.” She interrupted her pacing and took her hand. “We’re both okay.”

“But you might not have been.”

“But I am. And so are you.”

Clarke stared at her then pulled her into a kiss, one filled with the residue of fear, worry, and relief and her hands cupped Lexa’s cheeks and held her in place as she expressed all of that and more with her lips. Finally, she pulled away, leaving them both breathing heavily and Lexa wrapped her arms around her and held her close, needing to feel her, needing to convey that they were all right. Clarke seemed to melt against her, arms positioned carefully around her neck to avoid her swords.

“This isn’t about being stubborn,” she said near Clarke’s ear. “It’s about what’s right and what my responsibilities are. People needed to be warned. Besides—” she tucked some loose strands of hair behind Clarke’s ear, “do you forget that you are also my people?” She kissed her forehead. “As long as I am able, I will face threats with you.”

Clarke sighed and pulled her closer. “This was more than a threat. It was designed to remove you.”

“I know. And possibly you.” And that was a thought she could not abide.

Clarke looked at her. “To further disrupt the _kongeda_?”

“Or to push _Skaikru_ out of it. Without you, there isn’t a strong advocate to encourage _Skaikru_ to work with me.”

“But killing me doesn’t stop you from doing that. Which means you’re still the primary target, though if I was collateral damage, I’m sure Nia would appreciate it.”

Lexa could almost hear her thinking, as a familiar faraway expression crossed her features.

“We have to find Mykal,” Clarke said. “There may be more explosives in the building, but until we find him, we won’t know for sure and I doubt Danyel will tell us anything.”

“He might. If offered the right incentive.”

“Mykal is his family. If Danyel is part of this—and I’m pretty sure he is—I don’t think he’ll give up his brother’s son.”

“Everyone has limits. Are you certain Mykal planted the bombs?”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s been in the tower making appearances in the kitchen, which gives him some cover because he can say he’s either headed there or back to Danyel’s quarters if he’s caught between the two. He’s got good cover stories.”

And it would be easy enough to set a fire in the kitchen, Lexa thought. Rags would cause a lot of smoke, and some were no doubt covered with grease from cooking. All Mykal had to do was put a stick from the fireplace into one or more of the baskets where those who were cooking tossed the rags after they had used them. He might also have put a few clean and dry ones on the pile, which would have helped feed the flames. And the basket itself was flammable, so in a few minutes, Mykal would have a fire.

“And Danyel probably got the explosives from Nia,” Clarke continued, “who I’m guessing got them from Emerson. I accounted for the ones Raven sent me earlier this afternoon. Besides, Mykal wouldn’t know how to activate those and they’re not on timers, which these seem to have been.”

“Mykal may have left the city,” Lexa said. Or he could be hiding anywhere in Polis. If he was the man Kal was passing information to, he would have gotten familiar with the city, and would know places to go.

“Maybe. But I doubt it. Danyel might still need him.”

Or he might be planting more explosives. Lexa didn’t voice that thought. “We will see if Danyel will be amenable to speaking with me about this.” She moved to the door.

“Lexa.”

She waited, fingers on the door handle.

“Don’t do that again.”

Her heart ached at her expression. “Clarke, I am _Heda_ ,” she said softly.

“Then _try_ not to do that again.” She moved close and kissed her again, her lips soft and searching. “Because I can’t lose you,” she said, her breath warm on Lexa’s mouth. “Not to Nia. Not like this.”

“I agree.” She studied Clarke’s face, drinking in the sight of her. Even exhausted, streaked with dust and grime, she was beautiful. And even now, even after all that had happened between them the past few days, she could scarcely believe that their relationship had come to this, and that Clarke said such things to her and that she meant them. “I feel the same about you.” She kissed her again, slow and tender, and wondered whether she would ever be able to fully convey what she meant to her. Reluctantly, she pulled away. “Now let us surprise Danyel with our mutual survival.”

“I’m sure he’ll be excited to see us.”

Lexa’s smile was grim as she opened the door to the stairwell.

 

1 _Eni stedaunon_? Any dead?  
2 _No_ , _ba bida gada ledon op_ : No, but some have wounds.  
3 _Weron ste fisa_? Where are healers? [Are there healers?]  
4 _Thri ste hir_ : Three are here  
5 _En souda gyon au_. _Sis ai op_ : They must go [leave]. Help me.  
6 _Non laik klir…Osop_ : Nobody is safe…hurry up  
7 _Yu ste hir_? Are you here?  
8 _Ai en Clarke laik ait_. _Lufa kom kika au_. _ba osop. En souda hos op_ : I and Clarke are all right. Search for survivors, but hurry. Everyone must leave [here, the verb indicates leave quickly]  
9 _Yu ste ait_? Are you all right?  
10 _Odop_ : Wait

###

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said with obvious and poignant relief when Lexa emerged from the stairwell on the first floor. “You are well?”

“ _Sha_.”

“ _En yu_?” Balta asked Clarke, who nodded. “I am very glad to see you both. But I am not certain that what either of you did was wise.”

“I’m rethinking it,” Clarke said with a smile, watching as Balta quickly assessed Lexa’s general state of health.

Balta nodded and looked her over, as well. “The representatives have been sequestered in one of the cells,” she said, apologetic. “We don’t have much space on this floor beyond those.”

“Do they know Clarke and I survived?”

“I do not believe so.”

“Good. Do not announce it. Some things are best when shown.”

Balta nodded.

“Is anyone among the representatives seriously injured?”

“No. Many were not present on the floor during the explosions.” She moved toward the cell with guards stationed outside the open doorway, closest to the main entrance while Clarke hurried to keep up so that she was right behind her.

When they entered the cell, all conversation stopped and all gazes turned to Lexa then dissolved into grins of relief and echoes of “ _Heda_ ” around the room. With the exception of Danyel, who, Clarke noted, stared, stunned and angry, at Lexa and then her. When he saw her regarding him, he immediately shifted his gaze and smiled, but it appeared forced, as if he’d just tasted something bad at a dinner but was trying not to offend the hosts.

“It is my understanding that all of you have been assessed by healers,” Lexa asked. “If not, go now.” She motioned toward Balta, who stood behind her in the doorway. No one moved.

There were injuries among them, but nothing serious that Clarke could tell. All in the cell were coated with dust and grime and some had scrapes and bruises. Gani seemed to be favoring one of her wrists, but it was already wrapped in a cloth bandage. A patch of dried blood stained Jos’s trousers just below her knee, but she was standing, so the wound must not have been severe. Clarke marveled that none of them had been left worse off. Danyel was mostly unscathed, though his clothing, too, bore the gray of fine dust. Still, he would have been mostly protected in his quarters, which was where he had been confined for the past day.

Of course, if he had been given warning about the bombs, he could easily have afforded himself greater protection somehow, whether he went into the bathroom or perhaps put the heavy table on its side to help block some of the blast force. But then, Clarke thought, he probably would have been able to leave in the chaos after the initial blast. Did he? Or did he wait for someone to escort him?

“Casualties?” Lexa asked.

“ _Sha_ ,” Ferris said, and the word fell heavy among those gathered. “One guard and one servant did not survive. There may be others. Healers are attending the worst injured.”

The expression on Lexa’s face might have struck Danyel dead if she had directed it specifically at him. “Please provide me the names of the dead when we are finished here.”

He dipped his head in response.

“Who is not accounted for?” She ignored Danyel and instead looked at Atlan.

“ _Mykal kom Delfikru_ ,” she said, and almost on one accord, all gazes shifted to Danyel.

Lexa studied him, now expressionless, which was almost worse than showing emotion because it was unpredictable.

“I do not know where he is,” he said, defensive. “I haven’t seen him in hours.”

Which might be true, Clarke thought. But probably not.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Earlier this afternoon, perhaps.”

Clarke didn’t believe him, and from the expression in Lexa’s eyes, neither did she. Atlan and Ferris looked skeptical, and Garret rolled his eyes, though Danyel couldn’t see him do it, since Garret was standing behind Ferris.

“I do not know where Mykal is,” Danyel repeated, arms crossed. He stood near the back wall, though the council representatives had positioned themselves in such a way to give him a view of the door, as if trying to alleviate his defensiveness by letting him see an exit. Of course, he would have had to run a gauntlet of representatives to get there.

“You are telling me that you have no idea where one of your servants is?” Lexa’s tone was hard and flat, but revealed nothing about what she might really be feeling. Clarke envied her that ability.

“He could be injured or worse,” Danyel snapped. “Perhaps you should be checking the floor.”

“We found no one else on that floor,” Ferris said. “And you have no idea where he was before the explosions?”

“He said he was on the way to the kitchen—”

“Which of you is in charge?” Atlan asked. “You or your servant? You let him wander at will about the tower? And you know nothing about where he goes or what he does?”

“Perhaps it is so that he can deny knowledge of his whereabouts,” Garret said, and the derision in his tone was unmistakable.

Danyel didn’t respond, but his jaw muscles tightened.

“It would perhaps be best for you if you answer my questions. Truthfully,” Lexa said, tone low. Clarke recognized the hint of danger in it. She would do what she had to do, and if it meant imprisoning or even killing a clan representative, she would. Danyel must have realized that, too, because he uncrossed his arms and tried a more placating approach.

“ _Heda_ , I have not seen Mykal since earlier this afternoon. Surely you’re not suggesting he had time to do what you seem to be accusing him of.”

“Perhaps if _Danyel kom Delfikru_ would further enlighten us as to the whereabouts of his servant, we might reconsider his statements,” Lexa said, tone mild but completely unyielding. Something else Clarke decided she needed to master.

“I do not delve into the lives of my servants.”

“Then you are not as wise as I thought,” Lexa shot back. “Because if you know nothing about your servants, or where they go, then you know nothing about their thoughts, beliefs, and actions. That is not leadership. It’s foolishness.”

The rebuke fell at Danyel’s feet like a challenge.

“And you have endangered all in the tower because you allow one of your servants to remain unaccounted for and thus unaccountable. If Mykal is responsible for what happened here today, you are aware of what his punishment will be.”

Danyel’s jaw clenched but he didn’t respond.

“And if you are somehow part of this plot, do not think you are above the same punishment.”

He seemed to pale in the light from the torches in the wall sconces and nervously adjusted his eyepatch. “Does _Heda_ accuse me of treason?” he snapped, but he didn’t sound as confident as he should have.

“I accuse you of poor leadership, _Danyel kom Delfikru_ , that you allow a servant to wander about the tower and declare ignorance as to his whereabouts.” She gave him another hard stare. “The extent of his activities still needs to be determined. Provide us the details of your last conversation with Mykal.”

He swallowed, and the air in the room, already close and acrid with the smell of many bodies, seemed to grow heavier. “I gave him instructions to ensure my clothing was cleaned. He left and I did not see him after that.”

Danyel might have been telling the truth. Or he might have been setting Mykal up to take a fall for him. Clarke wouldn’t put that past him.

“What did you do after the first explosion?” she asked before Lexa spoke again.

He shifted his attention to her. “What do you mean?”

“After the first explosion,” Clarke continued, “you were unaccounted for. But right after the second, you showed up here. What did you do after the first?”

All gazes shifted back to Danyel.

“I was trying to leave the floor, like everyone else,” he said.

“I checked your quarters soon after the first explosion.” Garret stepped forward. “And you were not within.” He frowned. “Why did you not ask for assistance?”

“Perhaps he was merely focused on getting to safety,” Hamza rasped. He had sustained a wound on his forehead, and though it was bandaged, dried blood still marred his face.

“Maybe,” Clarke said, dubious. Most people would call for help or reassurance or they’d start looking for survivors. “ _Heda_ , may I continue?” she said, realizing that she had breached protocol earlier.

“ _Sha_.”

“Which direction did you go, when you left your quarters?” she asked Danyel.

“I—” he hesitated. “I heard voices on one end of the corridor, and went toward those.”

“Who did you talk to?” She purposefully asked a question that required something more than a yes or no answer.

“I don’t remember. A guard, perhaps. Maybe a servant.”

“What did they say?”

His eye narrowed. “What does it matter?”

“Did you ask them for help?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Did you ask if they needed help?”

“They didn’t seem to,” he hedged. “And perhaps _Heda_ needed help clearing the floor—”

“How did you know _Heda_ was on the floor?” Garret asked. “And if you heard her asking for help doing that, why would you not present yourself?”

He didn’t respond and Garret crossed his arms, his frown deepening.

“ _Heda_ ,” Garret said, “did Danyel offer to help you clear the floor?”

Her expression was inscrutable. “No. I did not see him. And you hadn’t seen him, either.”

“And yet he claims he was on the floor at the time and was going to offer to help you ensure the floor was clear,” Atlan said. “But you still managed to get off the floor before the second explosion.”

“Perhaps I did see you.” Lexa’s statement quieted everyone in the room. “But I didn’t realize it was you, as the dust was thick and you said nothing.” She looked at Atlan, and realization dawned in her eyes.

“Was that indeed you, _Danyel kom Delfikru_?” Atlan frowned, a match to Garret’s. “In the dust near _Heda_ before the second explosion? Why did you not respond when I or _Heda_ called out?”

His hesitation said more than his words did.

“There was a guard as well,” Atlan said. “She is certain she saw you, too, and that she recognized your eye patch. She thought you might have been going to help _Heda_.” She paused. “But you said nothing.”

“Perhaps he had no interest in helping _Heda_ ,” Garret said.

Something occurred to Clarke. “You knew,” she said to Danyel, and it was like pieces of a puzzle started to click into place. “You knew how much time you had before the second explosion.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “I was trying to get out.”

“You were trying to find _Heda_ ,” Clarke pushed. “But not to help her.” She locked gazes with Lexa. “He knew there would be a second explosion, and he knew you would probably come up to do what you could. In fact—” she looked back at him. “He was counting on that.”

“What does the representative from _Skaikru_ imply?” Hamza demanded.

“That perhaps Danyel wishes the removal of _Heda_.” Garret’s temper was up and Gani placed her hand on his arm. Clarke was glad she was here, because she had a calming effect.

“You have no evidence,” Hamza retorted. “And _Heda_ is a skilled warrior. Who would dare attempt to attack her in the tower?”

“Someone taking advantage of a chaotic situation,” Atlan said. “Someone who perhaps worried that a second bomb wouldn’t be enough. Someone who wanted to ensure every advantage.” She paused, and Danyel looked like he wanted to run out of the room.

“Someone who knows about poisons,” Garret finished and Gani again rested her hand on his arm.

“This is madness.” Hamza drew himself up, defying the injury that had left him stooped, and Clarke saw a glimpse of how he must have been in his prime.

Lexa raised her hand and everyone quieted. “ _Danyel kom Delfikru_ , show us your blades.”

He froze, as did everyone else. Hamza looked like he couldn’t believe what she’d just said.

She waited and Clarke held her breath. Had she guessed wrong, that Danyel might have been attempting to finish what he worried the bombs would not?

Ferris broke the tableau. “ _Heda don ron yu reinseden op_.” 11

Danyel finally drew his knives and Garret stepped forward, hand on the hilt of his sword. Ferris drew his own sword as Garret took each of Danyel’s knives. He sniffed the tip of each blade then touched one and brought his finger to his mouth so he could taste it with the tip of his tongue. He grimaced. “Poison,” he said. “One that kills quickly.”

Balta stepped forward and handed him a cloth. He wiped his finger off and wrapped the blade of the knife in it and handed it, hilt first, to her.

“Your opinion?” he asked her. She repeated his test and nodded.

“Garret speaks true.”

Lexa turned her gaze back to Danyel.

“I felt the need to protect myself,” he said in a rush. “After the attack in my quarters, I have not felt safe.”

Garret scoffed. “So you coat your blade with a deadly poison to combat a flesh wound? While you’ve been protected in your quarters? This is how a seasoned warrior responds?”

Danyel said nothing and instead glared at him.

“Poison like that is a weapon of assassins,” Garret pushed. “Are you that or a warrior?”

“Something is not what it seems,” Gani said quietly, and Clarke let her breath out quietly, relieved that she deflected the conversation. “A wound that has yet to be explained. A missing servant. A warrior who behaves as a warrior would not. Explosions designed not to destroy, but to divert and perhaps cloak.” She looked around at the others. “I have the sense that _Danyel kom Delfikru_ continues to hide something, and now I find myself wondering if he wished us harm, and even wished _Heda_ harm.”

“Many wish me harm,” Lexa said, tone cold. “But few are foolish enough to act on the desire.”

“Which are you?” Garret asked Danyel. “Fool? Assassin? Warrior? Did you go in search of _Heda_ after the initial explosion to use your blade, in case the second explosion didn’t do what you hoped?”

Lexa pinned him with a gaze and he immediately fell silent.

“We do not know Danyel’s thoughts, as he will not share them,” she said. “Nor do we know Mykal’s whereabouts, because Danyel will not share that, either. Since Danyel does not appear interested in helping us determine the cause of what happened today, it may be best for all that he is detained until further notice.” She paused. “If there are any among you who opposes this, speak now.”

“ _Heda_ , if I may.” Hamza stepped forward.

“ _Sha_.”

“It troubles me that Danyel is not forthcoming with the information we all seek, and it troubles me that his blade was poisoned. But out of deference for his past service with the _kongeda_ and his service for _heda Izik kom Delfikru_ , might _Heda_ consider a confinement to quarters?”

“ _Danyel kom Delfikru_ , like the rest of us, is between quarters,” Garret snapped. “I say leave him here.”

Lexa raised her hand again, and all talking ceased. “I respect _Hamza kom Sankru_ ’s position in this matter. But Garret also raises a good point. And I have no deference for someone who may have caused the deaths of at least two people in the tower of Polis. _Danyel kom Delfikru_ will remain here, as Garret suggests, while the _kongeda_ representatives are relocated. I will also send a message to _Izik kom Delfikru_ about this matter. We may need to consider another representative to take Danyel’s place.” She paused for emphasis. “I trust all of you are aware of that.”

All except Danyel murmured affirmatives. Lexa motioned toward the door.

“I must ensure that all of you are placed in new quarters. Please check with the healers about the well-being of any of your servants and guards who were injured today. Return to this floor for further instructions.” She stepped into the corridor and said something to the guards. As the representatives filed out of the cell, three guards entered, Lexa with them, and Clarke saw them search Danyel then remove all his clothing except his trousers and shirt. Another guard passed her, carrying a bucket that he placed in a corner of the cell.

The guards then waited for Lexa to precede them out. She did, and one of them closed the locked the door. Another walked outside, carrying Danyel’s clothing. Clarke moved away from the cell door and stood near Lexa, not sure of the next course of action, though she wanted to search for Mykal.

“The fourth floor can serve as quarters,” Balta said to Lexa.

Lexa nodded. “As I was thinking. Ensure it is prepared. And send word to Titus. Perhaps he might have a word with Danyel.”

Balta nodded, expression grim, and left. Lexa flashed Clarke an apologetic look and went to speak with Ferris. Clarke leaned back against the wall, feeling a little shaky.

“Have you been checked by a healer?” Atlan asked. Clarke hadn’t noticed that she was near.

“I’m fine.”

Atlan chuckled. “You sound like _Heda_. At least sit down and rest. How is your hearing?”

“Seems okay.” She took Atlan’s advice and sat on a nearby bench. “Did anyone actually see Mykal in the kitchens today?”

“A good question.”

“Can you find out?”

Atlan raised her eyebrows but smiled. “ _Sha_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_. I will do this if you will have a healer check you.”

“Fine,” she said with an exaggerated sigh.

Atlan turned and said something to a guard. To Clarke, she said, “Stay here. I will return.”

She nodded and leaned her head back against the wall, suddenly really tired. The sounds around her blurred into a comforting white noise and she closed her eyes.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said and Clarke snapped to attention. “ _Wash don kom op_.” 12

“ _Os_.” Lexa left Ferris and started toward the entrance to the outside. She paused next to Clarke and concern flashed in her eyes.

“I’m okay,” Clarke said quietly.

“You are certain?”

“ _Sha_.” She stood, and realized that she was sore in places, like after the _Azgeda_ attack in the forest that had left her bruised and cut. She was pretty sure she hadn’t sustained anything worse than that, but she also knew that Lexa wouldn’t leave her alone about it until she checked with a healer.

Lexa’s expression indicated that she didn’t entirely believe her. “Check with Balta later.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Clarke gave her a quick smile.

“Wash no doubt has news of Arkadia. Would you accompany me?”

“Atlan wanted me to wait here for her. I asked her to check with the kitchen staff about Mykal.”

“A good thought. I’ll make sure she knows where you’ll be.” Lexa went to a guard near the lift and said something to him then she returned and Clarke followed her outside, and it occurred to her as they stood outside the tower that they were both still coated with dust and grime. She caught Lexa surreptitiously apprising her, but she quickly shifted her gaze as a group of guards approached, Wash among them, holding the reins to his horse.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “I was told at the gates what happened. You are well?” His gaze swept her, checking for visible signs of injury.

“ _Sha_.”

“ _En yu,_ 13 _Clarke kom Skaikru_?”

“ _Ai seintaim_.” 14

He handed the reins to another guard. “Fire in the kitchens then two bombs. What does this mean?”

“At this time, that I have confined Danyel to a cell. Come. We will inform you of all that has happened.” She started toward the guard house, a group of guards, Wash, and Indra with them and Clarke relaxed a little. After all, there might be other bombs in the tower, though she didn’t think that was the case. Emerson probably wasn’t as free with bombs as Nia might have wanted him to be, because it wasn’t necessarily in his interests to provide that kind of weaponry to her or Grounders in general. Still, there had to be other elements to this plot in play and the tower might not be the safest option.

Once at the guard house, Indra cleared out one of the rooms and instructed the guards to remain outside the door, which she closed. She motioned at them all to take seats at the well-worn table near the back of the room. Someone had already lit torches here, since late afternoon was soon to bleed into evening.

The room was probably just a general meeting area, Clarke guessed, since there was nothing in it except benches along the walls and the table and chairs. They all sat down and Lexa briefed Wash. As she spoke, a scowl emerged on his face and it deepened by the time she had finished.

“A poisoned blade,” he muttered. “But we do not know for certain whether that was him after the first explosion, near you.”

“No,” Lexa said. “But it seems possible. And the guard said she recognized his eye patch.”

“And that is a distinguishing characteristic of his. What of other bombs?”

“Maybe,” Clarke said, and all looked at her. “But it doesn’t seem likely. Emerson probably wouldn’t want Nia to have access to more than a couple.”

Indra frowned. “If it benefited him for her to have such things, he might.”

“True.” Clarke shrugged. “But for now, the bombs have done their work. They’ve disrupted the tower and we still don’t know who planted them, so whoever that is—if it’s Mykal—he’s still loose, which serves as further distraction.”

“It seems that Nia will not be responding to come to account,” Wash said, tone dry. “I saw no sign of her in the forests between here and Arkadia.”

“She has to be close.” Indra sat back. “We should have word from the closest villages about whether she hides among or near them.”

And she would have to hide, Clarke thought. Unless someone let her into the city or she had managed to slip in.

“Could she already be in Polis?” Wash asked and she was glad he raised the issue.

“That, too, is possible.” Lexa’s fingers toyed with the hilt of one of her knives. “She has at least one ally in Polis. Possibly more. It’s not unreasonable to think that they have managed to bring her in, especially if that ally is loose in the tower.”

Clarke chewed her lip in frustration. Where the hell was Mykal? “ _Heda_ ,” she said, “I’m going to contact Arkadia and talk to Raven. She might be able to tell us a bit more about the explosives used.” If anybody could figure out what was involved with them, it was Raven.

“Extend to her an invitation to Polis.” Lexa regarded Clarke, expression unreadable. “If she thinks it best that she assess the damage herself.”

Clarke nodded.

“If Arkadia agrees to take her to a meeting point in a Rover, I will have warriors ready to escort her the rest of the way.”

“Which place, _Heda_?”

“Where two streams come together on the main route between here and Arkadia. Do you know this spot? We consider it neutral territory for travelers.”

Clarke thought for a moment. “About halfway between here and Arkadia?”

“ _Sha_.”

She nodded. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

“What of Mykal?” Indra asked.

“I asked Atlan to ask the kitchen staff if anyone remembered seeing him there today.”

Lexa again regarded Clarke, but this time the hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “ _Os_. Though he may be counting on the chaos to help them forget. Still, someone may have seen something.”

A knock sounded at the door. “ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said.

A warrior stepped in. “ _Heda_ , three scouts have returned from cavassing the surrounding forest. They bring news.”

She nodded. “Bring them in.”

He nodded and retreated. To Clarke, Lexa said, “Please contact Arkadia.” She paused a beat. “And please check with Balta.”

She flashed her a quick smile, Lexa’s concern for her settling around her like an embrace. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Clarke stood and Indra did, as well.

“I will escort you to the tower,” she said and Clarke looked at her, surprised, then at Lexa, who merely nodded.

“If you suspect at any time that there is danger in the tower, inform Indra and leave immediately.” She looked at Indra and something unspoken passed between them. She returned her gaze to Clarke. “I will speak with you later.”

Clarke nodded and left, Indra behind her. Three more guards joined them as they walked. “I need to go to my quarters,” she said as they exited the guard house.

“Is that wise?”

“I’m not sure.”

“There may be more bombs in the tower,” Indra said as they crossed the plaza.

“Maybe. But I just don’t think Emerson would be that lenient with explosives where Nia was concerned. Emerson hated me, but he wasn’t stupid, and he never trusted Grounders. He knew Nia hated Lex— _Heda—_ and he probably used that knowledge to make the deal with her. The bombs were probably part of it, and he gave them to her to keep her in line. But I don’t see him giving her more than two or three, because she might have used some against him at some point.”

Indra grunted, but whether in agreement or not, Clarke wasn’t sure.

“And I’m not sure Balta would let anyone onto the floor where _Heda_ ’s quarters are if she had any suspicion about it. Nor would the guards or Titus. Or you. And I know you’ve been checking on that since you got back to Polis.”

Indra actually smiled.

“I’m not sure, though, that it’s a good idea for _Heda_ to be in the tower at all until we figure out what’s going on.”

“I have thought that, as well, but it might also help bring things to light. And _Heda_ will not want to appear weak to Nia.”

“I know,” Clarke said with a sigh. They walked into the tower and went to the lift, where Clarke hesitated. It would be really difficult to put a bomb on the lift, since servants and guards tended not to use it and someone would notice if one or the other was on it doing something. “Indra, do you think—”

“Clarke,” Atlan said, and she and Indra turned.

“No one that I spoke with recalls seeing Mykal, and they all know what he looks like.”

“So he wasn’t in the kitchens today?” Indra asked.

“No one recalls seeing him before the fire.”

“Damn it,” Clarke muttered. What was she not seeing? “Then where the hell is he?”

“A question I am still trying to answer.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said. “I’m going to my quarters to alert Arkadia.”

“Inform me should anything new come to light,” Indra directed Atlan and she nodded as Clarke turned back to the lift.

“Oh, I’ve sealed off the lift risers,” Atlan said. “And placed guards there until we can sort this out. I was concerned about more bombs targeting _Heda_. You’ll have to use the stairs.”

Clarke smiled. “I was going to suggest that. _Mochof_.” Raven would no doubt have some tips on what to look for in terms of bombs, but she still wasn’t convinced that whoever had planted the explosives had more than what they’d used today. She started up the stairs with Indra and two guards, still trying to figure out what it was she was missing about Mykal. Something kept digging at the back of her brain, but when she tried to focus on it, it slipped away.

When they finally arrived at the right floor, Clarke’s thighs burned a little from the climb, which was around twenty-five floors. She recognized all six of the guards who stood outside Lexa’s quarters and hers. Indra spoke with them about whether they had seen anything, or if any unauthorized or unrecognized people had come to this floor that day or the night before and all said no. Regardless, Indra herself checked both quarters before she let Clarke into hers.

“Could you find Balta?" Clarke asked. "I need to speak with her. If she's busy, just let me know where she is and I’ll go.”

Indra nodded and retreated, leaving Clarke alone. She stood for a moment, enjoying the quiet, then retrieved the radio from a nearby shelf and took it out onto the balcony. Already, early evening shadows splayed across part of it and she realized she hadn’t eaten in a while and she was tired. She sighed and turned the radio on and listened to its familiar hiss.

“Clarke to Arkadia,” she said. “Raven?” She waited a few beats before trying again. “Come in. Clarke to Arkadia.”

“Hey. It’s Raven. What’s up?”

“First, Wash made it back. Second, I need your help. Somebody in the tower planted bombs—”

“Whoa. Hold on, there. Bombs? In what tower?”

Clarke rubbed her forehead. Raven hadn’t been to Polis. “In Polis. There’s a big tower where Lexa’s based and the _kongeda_ reps stay when they’re doing business. It’s about 30 stories or so.”

“Got it. Now what the hell’s this about bombs?”

Clarke described what had happened along with her suspicions.

“Shit,” Raven said. “First, you’re okay?”

“Cuts and bruises.”

“And Lexa?”

“Same.”

“Sounds like you got lucky. Describe again what happened and about how far apart the explosions were.”

Clarke took a breath and focused, remembering the haze and shouts and the debris on the floor then told Raven everything.

“So the blasts were about thirty minutes apart?”

“Roughly. Maybe twenty.”

“IEDs,” Raven said.

“What?”

“Improvised explosive devices. It’s an old term, from before the world ended. They’re bombs that are easy to make because you can use a lot of different household items and you can disguise them. Put them in dishes or something. Or bury them. Or put them underneath a pile of clothes. Like that. And you can load them with bits of metal or whatever to increase injuries.”

“But they can operate on timers?”

“Yeah. And they can be remotely activated if someone is savvy enough to set that up. And we all know Emerson was. But since Emerson didn’t plant these, given his rather untimely but welcome demise at the hands of a certain Commander, he clearly showed someone how to do it. Or he got everything ready and explained the premise and all the person had to do was press the button. I’m leaning toward that. I’d need to see the area of the damage to determine where they were placed and estimate how strong they were. And there’s probably bits and pieces left that’ll tell me more about them.”

“So can you?”

“Figure that out? Hello. Remember who you’re talking to.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I know _that_. Can you come and have a look?”

Pause. “Really? Come to Polis?”

“Lexa said to invite you. She’ll send warriors to meet you halfway.”

“Isn’t crazy Nia running around the woods?”

“That’s why Lexa will send warriors, though Nia isn’t interested in you.”

“I’m not sure if I should be hurt or flattered by that,” she said with an exaggerated huff and Clarke grinned. “Let me check around, see what people here think. Can you be on standby for a bit?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll get back with you as soon as I can. And Clarke, be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to my favorite annoying _Wanheda_. Out.”

Clarke smiled and turned the volume down a little so she could still hear if someone paged her, though she hated running the battery like that when the radio wasn’t in use.

A knock at her door pulled her back inside. “ _Min yu op_.”

Balta entered, carrying a tray of food that she set on the table and Clarke grinned again.

“Indra informed me that you wished to see me,” she said with wry amusement. “Or perhaps someone _else_ suggested you see me.”

“Just make sure you check that someone else over, too,” Clarke said with another eyeroll.

“ _Heda_ knows I will find her and do so.” She motioned Clarke to sit. “Eat first.”

She sank into the chair, relieved, and piled grilled meat onto a piece of bread. “Is the kitchen all right?”

“Mostly. The fire caused more smoke than real damage. Which I think was the purpose.”

“Same here.”

Balta poured her a cup of tea and set a waterskin next to her then went into the bathroom and Clarke heard her filling the tub. By the time she returned to the table, Clarke was on her second makeshift sandwich.

“Another servant died.”

Clarke swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Both servants were _Trikru_. The guard was _Boudalonkru_.”

“Do you think others will also die?”

“Hard to say.” She sat down at the table across from her. “There are a few injuries that we may not be able to treat.”

She set her food down. “I’ll see if _Abi kom Skaikru_ can send someone to help. There may be some medicines to spare.”

“That may be a good idea.”

Plus, it would help the other members of the _kongeda_ get a better sense of _Skaikru_ , if a medic was able to prevent some of the worst injured from dying. “If it’s all right, I’d like to see what you’re dealing with, too.”

“ _Sha_.”

“And I invited _Reivin kom Skaikru_ to come to Polis, as well. She knows bombs, and she’ll be able to tell us more about the ones used here if she can see the damaged area.”

“This, too, is helpful. _Skaikru_ is familiar with the tech of the _Maunon_.”

Clarke finished eating and took a long drink from the waterskin then sipped her tea, which was lukewarm now. She drank half and set her cup down. “Okay. Let’s get this over with so you can report to _Heda_.”

Balta smiled and followed her to the bathroom.

Clarke stripped next to the tub and stood while Balta assessed her new array of scratches and bruises.

“You were lucky,” she said after a few moments of silence.

“We were on the opposite end of the corridor. Please check _Heda_ ’s back. She had her coat on, but it might not have protected her from some of the debris.”

“ _Nou get you daun_. _Ai na chek em au_.” 15

“ _Os_. _Heda bilaik tofon_ , _kom fisa_ ,”16 she said with exaggerated gravitas.

Balta chuckled. “ _Klark kom Skaikru seintaim_.”

She pretended offense but smiled and got into the tub. Balta handed her a bar of soap and left her to clean up. As she was drying off, Balta returned with clean clothing and a jar of salve. She stood so Balta could apply it to the worst of the bruises and scrapes on her back and legs.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said when she finished.

She nodded and retreated again and Clarke dressed then ran her fingers through her damp hair before she worked a wooden Grounder comb through it.

“Clarke,” Balta said from the other room. “I think Arkadia is trying to contact you.”

The radio. Clarke rushed to the shelf and turned up the volume.

“—Clarke?” came Raven’s voice.

“Yeah. Here.”

“I’ll come to Polis. Would Lexa be okay it if Sam and Gina came, too?”

Clarke looked at Balta, who nodded once, solemn. “Yes. Is Kane there?”

“Actually, he is. Hold on.”

She waited for the transfer of the radio, chewing her lip.

“Clarke? It’s Kane.”

“Hey. Did Raven fill you in?”

“Yes. I’d come, too, but Abby needs me here.”

“Speaking of—is there any chance she can send Jackson or someone else with medical training? And maybe some antibiotics and suturing kits? I haven’t yet had a look at the survivors’ injuries, but Balta says some may be beyond what they have available here.”

“I’ll make sure we do. We’ll send everything with Raven. How does Lexa want to proceed with that?”

“She said she’d send warriors to meet a party from Arkadia halfway. We’re not sure where Nia is, but she doesn’t have many warriors with her. I don’t think she’ll try anything against _kongeda_ warriors. It’s too big a risk for her. Besides, she’s focused on Lexa.” Clarke gave him a quick rundown of her suspicions. When she finished, he was quiet for a moment and she thought she’d lost the signal. She was about to move to the balcony when he spoke.

“Are you sure about sending people to Polis? Maybe we should recall you.”

“No.” She gripped the radio harder. “Roan will soon be here to petition to join the _kongeda_ and he’ll most likely be confirmed. Lexa is going to request a new representative from _Delfikru_ , which may actually strengthen her position. Danyel is a weak link in that regard. I need to be here to demonstrate _Skaikru_ ’s commitment to the _kongeda_. Nia is being further marginalized every hour that passes.”

“But she’s clearly able to do damage. I don’t want us caught up in that.”

“We’re subject to damage no matter what we do on the ground,” she retorted. “And we need to show the other members of the _kongeda_ that we’re committed to helping as we can when situations like this come up.”

He sighed in the way he did when she had won an argument and then the soft hiss of white noise replaced him.

“Shit,” she muttered and moved to the balcony to try to call them back. She started to make an adjustment when Raven’s voice came through.

“I told him you’re right,” she said. “Backing out now would make us look like assholes. Especially after all the heroic shit you pulled at the mountain.”

“And?”

“He went to talk to Abby about medical help and supplies. And he told me to tell you he hates it when you’re right, but he respects it.”

She smiled and sagged with relief.

“So we’ll leave tomorrow morning at dawn and I’ll have a radio with me. Where does Lexa want to meet us?”

“Octavia and Lincoln know the place. It’s almost exactly halfway between Polis and Arkadia along the main route, near the spot where two streams come together. You can get there in the Rover, but past that, it’s faster with horses. It’s also neutral territory.” Not that Nia would respect that, but at least other clans would and if Nia disregarded neutral territory, it would further marginalize her.

“Okay. See you tomorrow afternoon. Stay safe. Out.”

Clarke shut the radio off as Balta joined her on the balcony, now completely shadowed as the sun set.

“Raven is leaving at dawn. Kane will see what medical supplies he can send and hopefully, Arkadia will be able to send a medic, too. I can help when the supplies arrive.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Balta said. “I would like to see some of the ways _Skaikru_ deals with the worst of the injuries that I have seen today.”

“Well, some I’m sure we couldn’t help much, either. But there may be some we can.”

Balta squeezed her shoulder and they stood together in silence, staring out over the city until Balta broke it.

“Let us find _Heda_. Warriors need to prepare to meet Raven.” She went inside and placed the dishes from Clarke’s meals on the tray she had brought.

“Will we be staying on this floor tonight?” Clarke asked. “Or elsewhere?”

“A discussion we will no doubt be having with _Heda_. She may decide to stay in another area of the tower tonight.”

“She said that last night not even the guards realized that it wasn’t us on this floor.”

“ _Sha_.”

“How did she manage that?”

Balta smiled and picked up the tray. “With help, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said with a wink.

“Could I meet whoever you got to be me?” And she wanted to see who Lexa’s body double was, if only to see how close the two were in appearance.

“Remember that people often see what they expect to see. _Heda_ understands that very well, but sometimes, even she needs help to ensure that people see what she wants them to see.”

“So there are actually women who are trained to be her?” Clarke stared at her, thinking that Nia, too, had engaged in something similar.

Balta smiled again.

Not only body doubles, then. Women trained in some of her mannerisms, probably, so they could pass as her in certain situations.

“And what about me?”

“Questions perhaps left for another time.” She moved to the door, Clarke following, thinking about disguises and seeing what people wanted others to see. She thought about Kal, and her interactions with Mykal—it hit her.

“Balta.”

She turned, tray braced on her hip, hand on the door handle, a queston in her eyes.

“Mykal stabbed Danyel.”

She frowned. “He wasn’t in the room.”

“Yes, he was. But not as Mykal.”

Her eyes widened as the realization hit her, too.

“Kal said that she initially thought Mykal was a woman. He might be able to pass as a woman elsewhere.” That was it. It had to be.

“Come. Let us find _Heda_.” She opened the door and moved quickly to the stairwell, Clarke and three guards on her heels.

Balta stopped suddenly and Clarke almost ran into her back. Lexa stepped out of the stairwell with Indra and two more guards, and Clarke’s breath caught in spite of herself and in spite of the dust and grime that Lexa still wore. It always did when she saw her, no matter the state of either of them.

“Clarke,” she said, her gaze giving her a quick inspection. “And Balta.” She motioned them toward her own quarters.

She and Balta followed her and Indra inside and Lexa shut the door. Balta set the tray on the table.

“Two things,” Lexa said. “Nia may have been near the closest village and Mykal may have stabbed Danyel.”

Clarke nodded, pleased at how in sync they were. “We were just coming to tell you that. He disguised himself as a servant woman. And he may have disguised himself like that again today to start the fire in the kitchen.”

A glint of approval flashed in Lexa’s eyes. “A thought that occurred to me as I was speaking with Wash.”

“Perhaps he is still disguised thus,” Balta said.

“I have dispatched searchers.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, concerned. “We don’t know what else Mykal has done in the tower—”

“They are taking precautions,” Indra said before Clarke could say anything more.

“What of the village?” Balta asked.

“The one called Fedril,” Lexa said. “The scouts spoke with several people there who said a small party of _Azgeda_ warriors was in the vicinity yesterday, moving toward Polis.”

Clarke chewed her lip. “Did anyone speak to them?”

“Two hunters tried to, but they were not on horseback and the warriors were. They thought it strange, and dispatched a messenger to Polis when they returned to the village. My scouts intercepted her and they all went back to Fedril.” She paused, and seemed to anticipate Clarke’s next question, because she said, “I am searching that area, as well.”

Balta frowned and crossed her arms. “Perhaps she has not been aided by villages but instead has kept on the move.”

A sour expression crossed Indra’s features. “Perhaps, though the horses must be rested if she is to continue to do that.”

“Or Nia wasn’t with those warriors,” Clarke said.

The other three looked at her.

“It makes no sense that _Trikru_ wouldn’t have seen her or found her by now. She doesn’t know these forests, so she has to ensure that attention stays off her and what she’s doing. A sighting of _Azgeda_ warriors doesn’t mean that Nia was there. She could be hiding somewhere and sends a few of her warriors out to distract us.”

Lexa put her hands on her hips and looked at Indra. “Nia may also be in Polis. There are _Azgeda_ here, and some may still be loyal to her.”

“Or they’re scared of her and doing what she wants,” Clarke said, the bitter tang of frustration in her mouth.

Indra nodded. “I’ve already sent an alert out.”

“Check every vendor. The marketplace especially. Now.”

“ _Sha_.” Indra inclined her head and left.

Balta went into the bathroom and Clarke heard water being poured into the tub. She used the opportunity to grab Lexa’s belt and pull her in for a kiss and she was reminded, again, of how much she wanted—no, needed—Lexa’s lips on hers every chance she got, how much of her heart was filled with her, and how much she wanted to make sure Lexa knew that.

From her expression when Clarke pulled away, she did, and a slow, soft smile lit up her eyes and eased the tension around her mouth. Clarke stared at her, the green of her eyes like the forests of her clan, like the waters of tropical seas visible from space, and there would never be words for what had come to life between them, for the bond they’d forged in spite of—maybe because of—everything they’d endured, and all they had faced.

Lexa ran her thumb along Clarke’s jaw, a mixture of wonder and contentment in her gaze and Clarke kissed her again because she couldn’t _not_ do that.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said as she emerged from the bathroom and Lexa turned toward her, Clarke’s fingers still curled around her belt, but Lexa didn’t pull away.

“I must check that the new quarters for the _kongedakru_ are being properly prepared.” Balta moved toward them and Clarke let go of Lexa’s belt, but Balta had already noticed the hold she’d had on it. She didn’t say anything, though Clarke saw her mouth twitch with a suppressed smile.

“I want guards at the entrances to that floor at all times,” Lexa said. “Consult with Wash and Indra about that.”

“ _Sha_.” To Clarke, she said, “ _Nou teik in Heda gon we_. _Em souda choj op_.” 17

Clarke smiled. “ _En wada klin_.” 18

Lexa arched an eyebrow. “ _Won Balta ste pleni_.” 19

“ _Nowa_.” 20 Balta flashed her a cheeky grin. “The bath is ready,” she said. “ _Heda_ —”

“I know,” she said with a huff.

Clarke smiled because she sounded like a cranky child. “I got checked, so you have to get checked.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at her and went into the bathroom.

Balta turned to her. “Once I have finished, I’ll get food while she dresses.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep her here.”

“I have no doubt.” She winked and walked to the bathroom and Clarke was glad because the blush that raced across her face was probably obvious, even in the dim room. While Lexa cleaned up, Clarke retrieved a torch from the corridor and lit several candles then went to her quarters for the radio and packet of batteries and mini-mines that Raven had sent and took them to Lexa’s quarters. Balta had already left but she heard Lexa in the bathroom. She forced herself to let her dress, though all kinds of other thoughts ran roughshod through her mind.

She looked up at the knock on the door and started for the bathroom when Lexa emerged, still fixing her hair. She wore black trousers and shirt, the collar of the latter open, and Clarke’s mouth went dry.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” she said, flicking a glance and a smile at Clarke.

Balta entered, carrying a tray of food. She poured two cups of tea. “I will be with the representatives,” she said.

“ _Sha_. How are the wounded?”

“No change. But no more deaths since the third, either.” She inclined her head and left, and Clarke appreciated that she would grant the extra time to Lexa to relax a bit.

“Eat,” Clarke said as she sat down, and motioned at the chair next to her. She fixed a plate for her, creating an open-face sandwich with the bread and meat.

Lexa smiled and did as she asked.

“I need you to get some warriors together to meet Raven at the place you said. She’s leaving at first light tomorrow. She’ll be bringing maybe three others and hopefully some medical supplies and someone with medical training. I don’t think my mom can get away, but Jackson might be able to.” It occurred to her that she had just issued an order about procedure, and from Lexa’s smirk, she knew, too.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said, half-teasing. “Please, could you get some warriors together to meet Raven tomorrow?”

“Done.” She squeezed Clarke’s hand where it rested on the table. “And Clarke, I don’t consider it a usurpation of my position when you tell me what you would like from me.” Her smirk stretched into a grin. “Especially in…certain circumstances.”

“Oh, okay, then. _Fanasheda_ ,”21 Clarke retorted with a snort and Lexa stared at her, eyes wide.

“And where might _Klark kom Skaikru_ have learned such a term as that?” she said, feigning indignation though her eyes sparked with amusement.

“I hear things. And you can’t pretend not to notice the way people sometimes look at you.”

“So there are those among us who use that term for _Heda_?”

“Please, Lexa. They have eyes.” Clarke took a sip of tea. “And they’re human, for the most part.”

She chuckled. “And you?”

“I definitely have eyes. And as far as I know, I’m human.” She sipped again, studiously ignoring her.

Lexa leaned closer and kissed Clarke’s neck. She finished with a light nip and Clarke clenched her teeth to stifle the moan Lexa’s touch brought. She barely managed to set her cup down.

“And you, Clarke?” Lexa asked again, with another kiss and nip at her throat. “Do you use that term for me?”

She shivered as Lexa nipped her again, sucking for just a moment.

“We have work to do,” Clarke said, trying to sound stern but it wasn’t effective because she felt Lexa’s smile against her throat.

“I would like to think that _Wanheda_ might use such a term for me.” Her lips tracked down Clarke’s neck and Clarke shut her eyes as chills danced down her spine.

“Yes,” she managed. “Okay? Yes. I think of you that way.” She gritted her teeth as Lexa nipped her again. “Sometimes,” she added.

“Just sometimes?” Lexa’s hand was on Clarke’s thigh, gently stroking, her breath warm against her throat and it was all Clarke could do not to drag her to the bed.

“Lexa—”

She chuckled again and pulled away. Clarke missed her immediately. “You’re right, _Klark kom fanas_ ,” she said, a teasing little smirk dancing at the corners of her mouth. “We have work to do.” She put a slice of meat on a piece of bread.

“Remind me why I keep you around.”

“I am _Fanasheda_ ,” she said with a shrug and Clarke stared at her for a second then laughed.

“Yeah. You are.” She picked up her cup. “There. I said it. Happy?”

Lexa took her hand. “I’m always happy when you’re near.” The look in her eyes made Clarke ache again. “You make me feel so much,” she said, voice soft. “Things that I never thought I would.”

“It’s mutual.” She pulled her into a kiss that heated quickly, as often happened when she had her lips on the Commander. She pulled away with a monumental effort, leaving them both breathing heavily, foreheads touching.

“It pleases me that you might think of me as _fanas_ ,” Lexa said and Clarke smiled.

“You have no idea how much.”

“Mmm.” Lexa kissed her again. “It’s mutual,” she murmured against Clarke’s mouth.

“Lexa,” Clarke said with a groan. “As much as I want to do this…”

“I know.” She pulled away and picked up her cup. “ _Oso laik heda_.” 22

“But don’t think I don’t want to continue this.”

Lexa smiled. “As do I.”

She cleared her throat. “Okay. So when we’re finished here, I’ll assess the injuries. Maybe I can help with those.”

“Please make sure you apprise Indra of your whereabouts at all times.” She finished her tea and poured more.

“Okay. Also, where would you like me to sleep tonight?”

Lexa quirked an eyebrow and a lazy half-smile played on her lips. “You need to ask?”

Clarke laughed. “I meant the particulars, _Heda_.” She leaned in and grazed Lexa’s lips with her own then pulled away before Lexa distracted her any further.

“Not here. And not where we were last night. I have instructed Indra to coordinate that with Balta.”

Clarke let her eat for a few more moments. “How did you figure out Mykal was disguised as the servant woman?”

“It came to me while talking to the scouts. And Kal had mentioned that she had thought Mykal was a woman at first meeting.” She shrugged. “It seems obvious, now,” she said, tone wry. “I suspect you had similar thoughts.”

She nodded. “If he’s in the tower, he’s most likely still disguised as a woman.”

“Or he may be in the city.”

Clarke covered Lexa’s hand with her own. “Do you think Nia’s in the city?”

“I am beginning to suspect that may be the case. We must be extremely careful until we find her. There are other _Azgeda_ here, too. And some may be loyal to her. She might use them as a force of some sort.”

“What are you planning to do?”

She interlaced her fingers with Clarke’s. “I’m already doing it.”

“What you’re doing with _me_ goes without saying. I meant about Nia.”

Her eyes widened and she laughed. Clarke could live on that sound. “I have already set some things in motion because of my suspicions that Nia may be in the city.” She raised their joined hands and kissed Clarke’s fingertips and Clarke knew not to ask for details. She would reveal more when she felt it was appropriate.

Clarke gently disentangled their fingers. “I want to show you something.” She picked up the radio. “I want you to know how to use this.”

Lexa frowned. “As long as you’re here, I have contact with Arkadia.”

“That’s just it. As long as I’m here. Sometimes I won’t be. A radio is much faster than a scout. Now watch.” She walked her through the process of using the radio then showed her how to change the battery.

“Your turn,” she said when she finished, and she handed the radio to Lexa, who demonstrated its use twice then switched out the battery again, back to the original. “ _Os_ ,” Clarke said. “In return, I want more hand-to-hand combat lessons.”

“That can be arranged.”

“With you.”

“ _Wanheda_ has become quite the barterer.” Lexa leaned back, as if pondering. “I agree to this trade.”

“I thought you might,” she said, teasing. “Now I want to show you something else.” She unwrapped the packet of mini-mines. “These are explosive devices. They’re not the ones used here in the tower because Raven only recently made them. Only _Skaikru_ has these. Go ahead and pick one up. It’s only dangerous when it’s activated, and I’ll show you how to do that.”

Lexa chose one and examined it from a variety of angles. “Is this what caused the explosion at Nia’s camp? Gina threw something at the warriors as we escaped.”

“Yes.”

“Powerful, for something so small. How does it work?”

“I don’t know the specific chemical combinations or mechanisms, but in terms of using it, there are a variety of ways. Once it’s activated, it requires pressure to complete the reaction. So you can activate it and then bury it –carefully – so that someone steps on it. Or you can activate it and throw it and when it hits something, it explodes. The point is, it has to be activated to have any effect.” She pointed to the knob on one end. “You have to pull this out, but you can’t do that unless you give it a complete turn. Which is why they’re safe to transport, because the knobs require someone to press and turn before pulling them out.” She put one in each cargo pocket. “See? Easy to transport, but also safe.” For the most part, she added silently.

Lexa ran her fingertip over the knob of the one she still held. “I would like to learn more about these things.”

“Well, Raven will be glad to show you. And now you are the only Grounder who knows how to use them.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Lexa’s cheek. “Use your knowledge wisely, _Heda_ ,” she gently teased.

Lexa took Clarke’s chin in her hand and kissed her, a slow, delicious melding of mouths that both settled Clarke’s anxieties about recent events and sent another jolt of arousal down her spine.

A sharp knock sounded at the door. “ _Heda_ ,” came Indra’s voice.

“ _Sha_.” Lexa stood as Indra entered, and Clarke knew immediately there was a problem.

“Fires,” she said. “The marketplace and a guard station near there.”

Lexa said something under her breath that was probably an expletive, from her inflection.

“I’ve ordered evacuations of the area around both.”

Clarke re-wrapped the mini-mines on the table and placed the packet on a nearby shelf while Lexa shrugged into her coat -- Balta must have brushed it off -- and put her sword harness on. A few moments later she had sheathed her knives on her belt and her swords on her back. “I must go,” she said to Clarke.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? It takes you out of the tower.”

“Clarke—”

Indra glanced from Clarke to Lexa back to Clarke.

“Never mind. You’re right. People need to see you there. Just be careful.”

“ _Sha_. _En yu_.”

“I’ll be with the wounded here. I’ll make sure there are guards with me.”

Lexa exchanged a look with Indra and the latter nodded. “Tam will remain here in the tower,” Indra said to Clarke, “coordinating with Wash. The guards you will use are outside your quarters.”

Clarke nodded and Tam entered the room. “ _Heda_ ,” she said.

“I need ten warriors and fifteen horses ready to ride tonight,” Lexa told her. “They will be meeting _Reivin kom Skaikru_ and at least three others halfway to Arkadia, where the streams come together. Raven’s group leaves Arkadia at first light.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Tam left and Lexa caught Clarke’s gaze and held it for a long moment before she strode out of the room, coat swirling around her boots, candlelight picking up the glint of her swords. A lump formed in Clarke’s throat but she wasn’t sure why. She stepped into the hallway and looked at the two guards standing expectantly outside her quarters, a tall, wiry man and a shorter woman with broad shoulders.

“Can you take me to where those who were injured in the explosions are?” she asked in Trigedasleng.

Approval flashed in the woman’s eyes but the man merely nodded and started toward the stairwell.

The wounded had been taken to the floor just above the ground floor, placed on thin mattresses within two rooms that looked like other living quarters in the tower. The guards stood outside while Clarke went in. She recognized two of the healers and she went and spoke with them. One took her to five of the most grievously injured. They’d done what they could, but Clarke suspected two were bleeding internally and there wasn’t much that could be done without surgery.

The other three had numerous deep cuts from flying debris, but there was a decent chance they could recover. Healers had cauterized several of the wounds, and probably slathered them with salves before placing the bandages on them.

Some of the wounded had burns and broken bones and Clarke checked to make sure their limbs were arranged in such a way to facilitate healing, showing the healer with her how to do it and explaining why.

She was surprised, actually, that there weren’t more dead or injured. She checked a head wound on a male servant who grimaced in pain but didn’t say anything. The healer had done a good job cleaning it, but he needed a new bandage so she got some clean cloth and set to work. When she had finished, she got up and moved to the next mattress. The healers had grouped the injured from the most serious to least, which she appreciated.

The man she was now assessing was sleeping comfortably, so she moved to the next mattress. Across the room a lone servant woman picked her way between the mattresses. She seemed to be looking for something. Clarke caught a glimpse of her profile before she bent to look at one of the wounded and she stared, processing. She had to admit, Mykal was convincing as a woman. He had styled his hair differently and he was clean-shaven, exposing the androgynous lines of his face.

She acted quickly and within seconds she had moved behind him and surreptitiously jabbed the tip of one of her knives into his back. He froze.

“Mykal. So good of you to come and see the extent of the damage you’re responsible for,” she said, keeping her voice low. “Now walk slowly to the door.”

He obeyed and Clarke stayed close, which helped hide her knife. No sense upsetting the wounded further. She pushed him into the corridor.

“ _Hir laik Mykal_ ,”23 she said to her guards and they stared at her, then him. “One of you come with me to take him downstairs to a cell. The other find Wash.”

The male guard left and the female drew her sword and pushed Mykal to the stairwell. Clarke stayed a step behind her and when they arrived on the ground floor, other guards moved to help. They searched Mykal and relieved him of a knife.

“Careful,” Clarke said to the guard who held it. “Is it poisoned?”

He sniffed the tip and frowned. “ _Sha_.”

“Keep it safe for Balta and Titus,” she said. “Someone needs to find Titus and tell him that Mykal is in custody.”

The guard nodded and left while others took Mykal’s boots before they put him in a cell.

“I’ll wait here for Wash,” Clarke told her female guard. “I want to speak with Mykal.”

“ _Sha_.” The guard positioned herself next to the cell door and Clarke sat on the bench outside. Lexa had left a heavier warrior presence than usual at the main entrance, and she sensed tension in the air. The main doors opened and Wash walked in. The guards closed the doors behind him, but not before she caught the faint smell of smoke.

“Clarke,” he said in greeting. “You found Mykal?”

“Yes. I wanted you to be here when I ask him a few questions.”

“Where was he?”

“Looking for something—or someone—among the injured. His blade was poisoned.”

Wash’s brow furrowed. “Do we know what or who that might be?”

“No. But I’m hoping to find out.”

“ _Os_.” He nodded at the closest guard, who opened the door to Mykal’s cell. Wash went in first, then Clarke. The guard left the door open.

Mykal looked up from the bench in the cell, expressionless.

“We know that you and Danyel are working with Nia,” she said.

His eyes narrowed.

“And we know that you stabbed Danyel as a diversion, and that you planted the explosives. We also know that Nia got them from Emerson.”

The muscles in his jaw clenched.

“In fact, we’re pretty sure Nia is already in the city.”

He licked his lips, nervous now, and a dread settled in Clarke’s chest. Nia probably was already in Polis, by that reaction.

“Danyel is in custody,” she continued, “though you probably already knew that, since you didn’t leave the tower today after you set the fire in the kitchen and then detonated the bombs.” She crossed her arms. “The price for trying to assassinate _Heda_ is death,” she said.

“Not if it’s successful.” He glared at her and in a movement almost too fast for Clarke to see, Wash backhanded him across the face.

“Do not speak such about _Heda_ ,” Wash said evenly, as if he was just talking about the day-to-day and hadn’t almost knocked Mykal across the room.

Mykal sat back up and gingerly wiped at the blood on his mouth.

“Did you set the fires in the city?” Clarke asked, flashing a warning glance at Wash.

“No.” He looked at her defiantly.

“Who did?” Wash stepped closer to him but Clarke put a hand on his arm.

“Those loyal to Nia,” Mykal said with a sneer.

“Because your plan in the tower didn’t work today,” Wash snapped.

“There are many plans,” he retorted. “We are prepared.”

"Perhaps you should have brought more bombs," Wash said.

Mykal glared at him and Clarke knew, in that moment, that the two were the only ones he had. Still, a chill crawled up her spine. Mykal was clearly a believer in whatever plot Nia had launched. But how deep did this go? “What were you doing among the injured?”

He said nothing.

“Unless you were worried that one of the survivors would say something,” she said.

He started slightly and glanced away.

“Someone who saw something,” she pushed. “And you had a blade ready to finish what your bombs didn’t.” She looked at Wash and he called a guard in then left.

Mykal continued to sit in silence. When Wash returned a few minutes later, the guard who had been in the cell stepped out.

“For such treachery, your life is forfeit,” Wash said, almost conversational.

“So is _Heda_ ’s.” Mykal raised his head, almost daring Wash to hit him again, but Wash didn’t move.

“Why?” Clarke said, desperate for more information, hoping that Lexa was safe. “What does Nia want?”

“ _Heda_ is weak,” Mykal said with a shrug. “She lets _Skaikru_ do her dirty work. Her fears cause her to seek peace because she is not a strong enough warrior to win battles.”

Clarke might have laughed if she wasn’t so angry. Had he never seen her fight? Never watched her skillfully derail opposition? Or silence a room with her presence alone? “Nia wishes to be Commander, then.”

“She will be,” he said, a triumphant gleam in his eye. “Since we could not finish her in the tower, we drew _Heda_ out into the city this night. Soon, it will be over, and Nia will destroy you all.”

She struggled to maintain calm then tried a different tack, attempting to goad him into revealing something more. “You think she doesn’t know what you’re doing?” she said in Trigedasleng then snorted. “This is what Nia fails to see. _Heda_ knows much more than people think. She is patient. Like a snake, she waits. She will wait as long as necessary.” She moved closer to Mykal and leaned down. “Days, she has waited. Weeks. Longer.” She paused. “And now she will strike. And Nia will not see it coming.” She lowered her voice. “ _Heda_ knows Nia is in Polis. And she knows where. Why do you think she is in the city this night, too?”

Uncertainty flashed in Mykal’s eyes while Wash almost imperceptibly nodded in approval.

A guard stepped into the cell. “Wash.” He motioned with his head toward the corridor and Wash left again while the guard stayed.

“Clarke,” Wash said a few moments later from the doorway.

She joined him. “What is it?”

“There is fighting in the streets near the market. The aggressors appear to be _Azgeda_.”

Her heart seemed to freeze. “How many?”

“Twenty or thirty.”

“They were here all along,” she said. Like Lexa had said earlier. Nia loyalists, just waiting for a signal. Were the fires that signal?

“ _Sha_.”

“Where is _Heda_?”

“We don’t know. I have sent more warriors.”

“And Indra?”

“We don’t know that, either.”

“I should go.”

“It is not safe for you. _Heda_ would not want you to put yourself at risk. We need more information.”

She ran a hand through her hair and Wash motioned at a guard and pointed at Mykal’s cell door. She nodded at him and told the guard inside to leave then closed and locked the door.

“We have to do something,” Clarke said, panic bubbling in her chest.

“We have,” Titus said. She hadn’t seen him approach, but then that was typical. He was like a phantom, gliding around the tower, his robe making him look like he floated above the floor.

“Several of the _Azgeda_ have already been captured and the others appear to have scattered. _Heda_ ensured that extra warriors were placed throughout the city when she returned to Polis from _Maun-de_.”

The main doors opened and another guard slipped in. He was breathing heavily, as if he had been running, and sweat matted his dark hair to his skull.

“ _Fleimkepa_. _Wanheda_.” He bobbed his head once. “There is a _Skaikru_ at the city gates.”

“What?” Clarke stared. Raven? No, that was impossible. She had just talked to her a couple of hours earlier.

“ _Sha_. He claims he was in _Maun-de_ with Emerson.”

“Did he give his name?”

“ _Sha_. He calls himself Sanders.”

Clarke wouldn’t have been more surprised had Jaha himself walked into Polis. “Is he alone?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Then what does he want?”

“He wishes to speak with you.”

Clarke glanced at Wash, puzzled. “How did he know I was here?”

“He said that if you were here, he wished to speak with you. If not, he would speak with _Heda_. He says he has information about Nia and Pike.”

“Fetch him,” Titus said.

“No.” Clarke shook her head for added emphasis. “I don’t trust him in the tower. I’ll talk to him at the gates.”

Titus pursed his lips in what Clarke had come to understand as one of his displeased expressions.

“If he does want to provide information about Nia, it may help the situation here.”

Wash frowned. “I will accompany you.”

“You’re needed here,” Clarke said. “Is Arling still at the gates?”

“ _Sha_ ,” the messenger said.

“Then I should be fine. Indra assigned two other guards to me.”

“Take Tam,” Wash said.

“She is engaged at the guard house,” Titus said, still wearing his displeased expression.

“Atlan, then,” Wash pressed.

“She is with Tam,” Titus said.

“Look,” Clarke said. “He’s alone.” She looked at the messenger. “You’re sure he’s alone?”

“ _Sha_. We checked the forests and he is dirty, and appears to have been walking for a while. He does not appear to be sick.”

“Well, we don’t know that for sure, so the less contact he has with people in a crowded area, the better.” She looked at Titus. “We may need his information,” she said. “Mykal certainly isn’t offering any.”

Wash frowned. “The healers are trying to determine who among the injured he may have been trying to harm and what that person knows, but whoever it is may not be able to speak just yet.”

“Or ever. So we don’t have much choice. I’ll talk to Sanders. Maybe Titus will have better luck with Mykal.”

“I don’t like this,” Wash said. “Why would he show up now?”

“That’s something else we need to find out. Arling and several other guards are at the gate. I’ll have two more with me. The forests outside the gates have been checked. This is an opportunity that we should exploit.”

Titus continued to frown, but he nodded. “Clarke’s argument has merit. If we are to put an end to Nia’s machinations, any information we get quickly could prove useful. With reservations, I think Clarke should talk to this man Sanders.”

Wash tugged on his beard. “Are you sure?” he asked her.

“Yes. And if I think anything is strange or doesn’t feel right, I’ll come back.”

He nodded and motioned her guards over. “Escort _Klark kom Skaikru_ to the city gates. There is another _Skaikru_ there who says he has information about Nia. The forests have been checked. He is alone.”

“ _Sha_ ,” the male guard said.

“Remember Indra’s instructions as well,” Wash said and both guards nodded. “ _Gyon au_ ,” he said to her. “ _Ste klir_.” 24

She nodded and walked to the main doors. One of her guards started to push one open.

“Wait,” Clarke said. “What are your names?”

“Rex,” said the male guard.

“Ayda,” said the female.

“ _Mochof_. Now I know what to yell if something happens.”

Ayda almost cracked a smile as she pushed the door open enough for a person to slip through and Clarke waited for them to step outside and assess.

“Okay,” Ayda said and Clarke joined them in the night air. She heard distant shouts through the darkness and caught the odor of smoke. The glow of flames flickered in the direction of the marketplace, lending an eerie quality to the closest structures. A steady stream of people seemed to be moving to and from that area of Polis, many rushing across the plaza.

“Come,” Rex said softly. “Stay close.” He drew his sword. Ayda already had hers out and they moved quickly and quietly toward the gates, keeping to the darkest parts of the streets. They passed people standing in small, tense groups talking softly, perhaps waiting for news. Conversations stopped when Clarke’s party approached then started again when they passed.

After a few minutes, by Clarke’s estimation, they were a little over halfway to the city gates. Shouts had decreased in occurrence, which she hoped meant that Lexa’s forces had gained control of the situation. Titus had said that several _Azgeda_ had been captured and the rest had scattered. Her worry about Lexa didn’t abate, but she tried to focus on her purpose. Get information from Sanders then get back to the tower.

Rex put a hand on her arm and they all stopped. Clarke might have heard what sounded like the soft scrape of a boot on the hard-packed dirt of the street when Rex shoved her aside. She stumbled as a dark form engaged him while another took on Ayda. Rex dispatched his opponent easily but two more appeared and Clarke thought she saw _Azgeda_ scars on one's face. Two others attacked until it was four against two. Then five. Six. Where were they coming from?

“Run,” Ayda said to her as yet another warrior ran toward them.

“What about you?”

“Go to the tower,” Rex commanded her and then he grunted and deflected a sword blow.

Moments later Clarke heard what sounded like boots on hard-packed earth. More people were coming and Clarke figured they were hostile. Someone grabbed her from behind and she rammed with her elbow. There was a grunt and whoever it was let go and she ran toward the tower. She heard footsteps behind her and she sped up, trying to avoid ruts and holes in the street. At least two people panted behind her, and they were closing the distance from her. She abruptly went left and dodged between structures. It threw her pursuers off a little, but not enough, as she could almost feel one reaching for her.

A man grunted and she heard a thud behind her. She slowed and glanced back.

"Keep going," Rex said. "I'll hold the next few off." He swung his sword at another attacker and she increased her speed and dodged down another street, but again, she heard someone behind her.

“ _Em gaf em kiken in_ ,”25 someone else shouted.

And then there was weight on her back and she faltered and fell hard, trying to protect her head. She struggled to breathe and stars floated in her vision. Someone grabbed her and hauled her to her feet and she jerked and fought and the back of her head connected with something because there was a yelp and the hold loosened. She lurched forward and tried to run but someone yanked her by the hair and threw her to the ground. Her eyes watered and her scalp stung.

“ _Dison laik fyda_ ,”24 said someone with a grim laugh. She kicked at the voice and her boot connected and there was a grunt of surprise and soft laughter.

“ _Sha_ ,” said another voice then he kicked at her and she tried to roll out of the way but his boot caught her in the side and she bit her lip to keep from yelling, though she probably couldn’t have anyway because the blow knocked her breath away. She gasped.

“ _Hod op_ ,” said the one who had called her a fighter. “ _Em souda ste kiken_. _Tai em op_.” 27

She was rolled over and someone gripped her wrists. She kicked and again, someone laughed. “ _Fyda_ ,” he said, and suddenly there was weight on her legs, enough that she couldn’t move them. She twisted and jerked anyway, but she didn’t see the punch coming and it rattled her jaw and knocked her head to the side.

“ _Chil_ ,”28 said the man on her legs.

Clarke’s face throbbed and she automatically felt around her mouth with her tongue. She tasted blood but it seemed her teeth were all right.

“ _Odon_ ,”29 the man who had punched her said and the man on her legs got up. She was bound at the ankles, too.

“This will only be worse for you if you keep struggling,” the man who had been on her legs said in English. “If you want more damage, my friend here will gladly comply. He won’t kill you, but he’ll make you wish he did.”

She shook her head.

“Good.”

And then he stuffed a piece of cloth in her mouth and put a cloth bag over her head that smelled faintly of chemicals. She was hoisted to one of the men's shoulders and as he walked, his shoulder dug into her gut and she had a hard time breathing. The chemical smell seemed to increase and Clarke’s face throbbed from the punch. She coughed around the cloth in her mouth but tried to stay calm because she didn’t want to suffocate.

After a while, her thoughts started to swim and fade and her limbs grew heavier and heavier. Chloroform, she realized. That was the chemical smell. Fucking Emerson, still managing to mess with her. Fucking Nia. Fuck this whole situation.

She tried to stay awake, tried to fight the effects of the drug, but blackness swept through her brain, Lexa the last thing on her mind before she passed out.

 

  
11 _Heda don ron yu reinseden op_ : _Heda_ gave you an order  
12 _Wash don kom op_ : Wash has arrived  
13 _En yu_ : and you [you’ve seen this one]  
14 _Ai seintaim_ : me, too/also  
15 _Nou get you daun_. _Ai na chek em au_ : Don’t worry. I’ll check her.  
16 _Heda bilaik tofon_ , _kom fisa_ : _Heda_ can be difficult, for [a] healer  
17 _Nou teik in Heda gon we_. _Em souda choj op_ : Don’t let Heda leave. She must eat.  
18 _En wada klin_ : And wash  
19 _Won Balta ste pleni_ : One Balta is enough  
20 _Nowa_ : Never  
21 _Fanasheda_ : Sexy Commander [literally, Commander of sexy. “Fanas” means sexy (derived from “fine ass” lolol Peterson cracks me up). Clarke is once again making a joke by combining two Trigedasleng terms. And this might be my fave.]  
22 _Oso laik heda_ : We are heda [hedas; leaders]  
23 _Hir laik Mykal_ : Here’s Mykal  
24 _Gyon au_ … _ste klir_ : Go…Be safe  
25 _Em gaf em kiken in_ : She wants her alive  
26 _Dison laik fyda*_ : this one’s a fighter [I made this term up; Peterson doesn’t have one for “fighter” yet]  
27 _Hod op…em souda ste kiken. Tai em op_ : Stop [you’ve seen this one!]…she has to be alive. Tie her up  
28 _Chil_ : Easy; relax  
29 _Odon_ : done [you’ve seen this a bunch of times!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH! All hell is breaking loose! Again! Raise your hand if you hate Nia. And Danyel. And Mykal...
> 
> Thanks for your patience on waiting for this, my longest chapter yet. Whew. The next installment will most likely be the week of April 24th because, you guys, I went and did something super fun but super time-consuming. I just launched a [publishing company](http://www.dirtroadbooks.com) with 5 super awesome women. I'm the editorial and production coordinator, so I've got shit-tons to do as we get into our groove and I've got to finish up a novel that I'm publishing over there. Sci fi, friends! WOOO! But I love this here story, so I'm going to keep working on it and stick to regular updates until it's done. You can also check with me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) about updates and whatever else you wanna chat about.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, friends. They mean a whole lot to me. I try to respond as I can, but some get past me and I apologize. Hit me up on Tumblr if you don't hear from me.
> 
> Some songs that kept me sane (ha ha) during the writing of this chapter: love+war, "Policy of Truth"; Ruelle, "Up in Flames"; Imagine Dragons, "Believer"; Saint PHNX, "King"


	61. Kill the Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finishes kicking ass at the marketplace, and questions some of the captured Azgeda and learns a few things. Then she finds out that Clarke's gone missing...

Lexa prodded the _Azgeda_ warrior at her feet with the toe of her boot then moved quickly to another on his back, gasping out his life. He looked up at her, blood puddling between his lips, and tried to speak, but only gurgled. She left him to die and stood for a moment surveying the scene, breathing hard, her swords slick with blood and the evidence of the destruction she herself had wrought in the bloodied bodies strewn across the hard-packed dirt.

The marketplace continued to burn, though not at the same intensity as earlier, but smoke still billowed skyward and flames threatened to lick at surrounding buildings. Bucket lines were working as fast as possible, human chains from water sources to fire while some people were working to wet the sides of the nearest buildings to help keep the fire contained.

She was close enough to feel the heat from the fire on her skin, and also close enough to understand that what looked chaotic was not. Frenetic, yes, but the denizens of Polis had organized effectively and evacuated the marketplace, protected nearby buildings, and set up triage and rest areas nearby. The bucket lines were working and the flames were being contained here while the fire at the guard house was already out, and at least twenty _Azgeda_ were either dead or too injured to fight.

“ _Heda_.”

She turned at Indra’s voice. Her second was soot-streaked, sweaty, and marred with blood spatters from her own battles this night.

“We have captured eight _Azgeda_.”

Wordlessly Lexa wiped her blades on the corpse of her most recent kill and sheathed them across her back then followed Indra toward the guard house.

“I want the city searched immediately,” Lexa said as they walked. “And I want Jos to assess all _Azgeda_ you find.”

“Tonight?”

“ _Sha_.” Until she heard otherwise from Roan, Jos was _Azgeda_ representative and Lexa intended to leverage that position. They worked their way through knots of people who, when they recognized her, murmured greetings and offered nods of approval for the Commander who had come to join them in the streets.

The adrenaline that had sustained her since she’d left the tower ebbed, leaving her sore and tired. Now she allowed growing flames of anger to fuel her. It was way past time for Nia to pay for all she had done, way past time for the debt she had accrued in body counts and betrayals to be collected. Lexa clenched then unclenched her fingers.

“The prisoners,” Indra said with a head bob at the eight warriors seated on the ground outside the guard house. Their hands were bound behind their backs. Lexa stayed a few yards away, watching them. Several of her own warriors stood talking quietly in small groups. Four served as guards of the prisoners.

“Fetch Gonin,” she said to Indra. “Make sure he is chained.”

Indra looked at her and even in the strange shadows cast by the torches held by a few guards, her surprise was visible. But she nodded and issued the directive to a warrior who then took off jogging.

“ _Heda_ ,” said another warrior. He approached and offered a waterskin.

“ _Mochof_.” She took several swallows and handed it back. “Were you here when the fires started?”

“ _Sha_. I was on duty. The fire in the marketplace started first and several of us went over there to start evacuations.”

“How many remained?”

“Five. The two outside were stabbed with poisoned blades. The other three were overpowered. The fire was set in the front of the building. One of the poisoned guards was able to help get them out, and then other _Azgeda_ came.”

“Deaths?”

“One of the guards who was poisoned did not survive and one who escaped from the fire died soon after. She had grievous wounds from the initial attack.” He gave their names and Lexa nodded in acknowledgment, silently adding them to Nia’s debt.

“Their families are not in Polis, _Heda_.”

“I know. I will send messengers.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” he said, voice tight.

“What do you know of these prisoners?” she asked, giving him something else to focus on.

“Two have spoken.” He motioned at the men seated closest to where Lexa stood. “They have relatives who have been longtime vendors here. They say Nia threatened their families if they did not help with her plans.”

“Nothing from the other six?”

He shook his head.

Most likely loyalists, then. Or perhaps they were simply waiting to determine what their options were. “ _Mochof_ ,” she said to the guard in dismissal and he nodded and withdrew. “Thoughts?” she asked Indra.

“Nia intended to draw you out of the tower. If the fire at the marketplace had spread, so much the better.”

“Why the guard house?”

“Opportunity. It’s very close.”

Lexa crossed her arms and turned back toward the marketplace, thinking. “If she really wanted to cause problems, there would have been several fires set at the marketplace and throughout the city. Why did that not happen?”

Indra gazed toward the marketplace as well, hand on the pommel of her short sword. “Perhaps the loyalists were concentrated here. The attackers were here, after all.”

“But fires around the city in multiple areas would have been more effective at causing destruction and spreading defenses thin.” She turned back to the guard house. “She wanted the guards to go to the marketplace. And then she wanted to render this guard house ineffective. Why?”

“Perhaps you overthink, _Heda_. Nia is an opportunist. We suspect her intent has been to draw you out into the open. So she concentrates her warriors here, near the tower, sets two fires to occupy forces and cause chaos in the streets, and then waits because she knows you will leave the tower to engage this issue. She knows that’s how you are as _Heda_.”

Lexa frowned, still skeptical. “You are correct. Nia is an opportunist and is able to adjust plans quickly if she wishes to exploit a new development. If that’s what happened here, the question is, what new development would she have been made aware of in the past few days that would cause her to not simply assassinate me when I left the tower tonight?”

“Because it would look better for her if you were killed defending the city against attackers. She can always claim ignorance of such a thing, and she can claim that she has no control over what loyalists might do.”

That was plausible. A warrior waved Indra over and she went to talk with her. Lexa stayed where she was and studied the prisoners. There had to be a loyalist or two among them, but the others may have been threatened. If Nia had managed to enter Polis, then her threats would have been made more imminent.

But was Nia in the city? It was possible. After all, if Nia succeeded in killing her before the end of the day tomorrow, then her call to account was irrelevant and she could attempt to install Ontari as _Heda_. She had to be close, thus. And what better place than actually inside Polis? If that was the case, she had help to enter.

Her fingers closed over the hilt of one of her knives, a reflex. Did Nia have a larger support system than suspected? Because simply removing her as _Heda_ wouldn’t guarantee that the other clans would support her or Ontari as the new Commander, especially if she chose to assassinate her to install a new _Heda_.

Unless she was counting on Danyel and Mykal. It was also possible that Nia was improvising now, and hoping that if she was successful in the assassination of a Commander, it would leave a power vacuum that she might fill. And she might have been gambling on enough loyalist support to offer another element of destabilization.

Indra returned to her side. “The fire at the marketplace is contained. I ordered the searches to begin in this area, using the marketplace as the centerpoint, expanding outward.”

“ _Os_. Alert Darya and inform her that Roan’s life may be in danger.”

Indra waited.

“Nia would not take the risk of removing me as _Heda_ if she didn’t think she had support to continue to destabilize the _kongeda_. If she can retake _Azgeda_ , she may have it.”

Indra grunted a soft acknowledgment and moved away to find another messenger to send to the tower guard house.

Clarke would offer another perspective. She often saw things that others overlooked. Lexa inhaled deeply then exhaled. Anger could be a useful tool, but should it consume her, she would be of no use to anyone. Thoughts of Clarke helped bring clarity.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said when she returned. “Gonin approaches.”

She turned and went to meet him.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said quietly without a trace of sarcasm. He had been given his boots, but he limped. His wrists were chained, as she requested, and he looked reasonably healthy, though his hair and beard were a little matted.

“ _Gonin kom Azgeda_. I have need of your services.” She nodded in dismissal at one of the two guards with him. The other held a torch and Lexa wanted the light so she could better gauge Gonin’s expressions.

“So I gathered.” He threw a glance toward the marketplace. “Nia sent warriors, I’m guessing, along with fire.”

“That is what I wish to determine. Some may have been loyalists. Others may have been threatened in some way to fight for her.”

He made an assenting noise. “That is her way. How may I assist?”

“Behind me are eight _Azgeda_ warriors. I would learn who they are, where their loyalties lie, and where Nia may be.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“And, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ , if you perform this task for me and I am satisfied with your actions, you will have earned your freedom.”

His eyes widened and he nodded.

She looked at Indra. “Bring each prisoner to me one at a time.”

“Who first?”

Lexa turned her gaze back to Gonin and he looked past her shoulder then back at her. “I know five of them. The two on this end will easily break. The one on the other end will not. The one next to him I can’t yet say, and the last I know will probably speak willingly.”

“Which three do you not know?”

He told her and she nodded at Indra. “Start with one of them. Bring each over. And when we’re done, I want all of the prisoners taken to holding cells in the tower once we’re done here.” She paused. “If they’re still alive.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

The first prisoner the guards brought over was a young man barely out of his teens, by Lexa’s estimate. He was scared, and stumbled over his answers. She looked at Gonin and he shook his head.

“Please,” the prisoner said. “I was forced to serve with Nia at _Maun-de_. I am not a warrior.”

“I can attest to that,” Indra said. “He was lucky we captured him. He wouldn’t have survived otherwise.”

“Where is your family?” Lexa asked.

“My older brother and a few of my cousins are in Polis. They are merchants.” He licked his lips and she saw in his eyes genuine fear. “The rest are in _Azgeda_. I do not know if they are well.”

“Who is your family?” Gonin asked.

He told him and Gonin nodded. “He speaks truth, _Heda_. I know that family, though I do not know him. Merchants and vendors, only one or two warriors within.”

“How long have you been in Polis?” she asked him.

“Three days. Nia ordered thirty of us to come the day after she got news that _Maun-de_ had fallen. But I think there were already some of her forces in place here."

She regarded him for a long moment, assessing. She hadn’t increased security at the gates until she returned from the mountain. “Where have you been staying?”

“With my brother. He doesn’t know I’m here. He thinks I’m out with my cousin.”

“Where did the thirty others you came with stay?”

“They scattered throughout the city. Some have family here. Others, I don’t know.”

Boarding houses, most likely. ****“And what of these others you say were already in place?”

“I do not know who they are, but I was told there were other loyalists in the city, preparing.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

“What were your instructions?”

“We were to wait until this night and then we were told to go to the marketplace, and to bring weapons, but we weren’t sure what was going to happen. At least most of us weren’t. There were a very few who are loyal to Nia and they know her plans.”

“Why did you fight?” she asked.

“I didn’t. I ran.”

“This, too, is truth,” Indra said, tone dry.

“I wanted to find my brother and tell him everything. I only want to return to _Azgeda_.”

Lexa remained impassive. “Where is Nia?”

“I don’t know, though some among us think she’s here, in the city. But I don’t know where that would be, or how she got in, since we also heard that security at the main gates has increased.”

Nia clearly had implemented a need-to-know strategy among those outside her immediate circle of loyalists. It might help with short-term distractions and battles, but not long-term loyalty. Lexa nodded at Indra and she hauled the prisoner to his feet.

“Please, _Heda_. Please. I am no warrior. I do not wish to fight you or _Trikru_. Nia threatened to kill me and my family if I did not do her bidding.”

Lexa dismissed him with a wave and Indra ordered guards to bring the next one over. Again, a man who was not a warrior and claimed Nia had threatened his family. He gave similar information to the first. The third was a man older than Danyel, blind in one eye, who was resigned to whatever fate she granted him. Indra took him away.

“ _Heda_ ,” Gonin said, “It is a possibility that Nia is in the city.”

“What makes you think this?”

“If she is not close by, she cannot control those who are truly loyal to her. It makes little sense for her to launch plans like this within Polis if she is not nearby to hold the reins.”

Lexa had been thinking the same thing, but she didn’t say it.

“Which one next?” Indra asked after she had turned the third prisoner over to the group of guards who would be escorting them to the tower.

“One of the loyalists. Choose, Gonin.”

“The one on the end I have seen in Nia’s personal security detail. I trained a bit with him, but as I’ve told you, I am not the best warrior material.” He shrugged and adjusted the shackle on his right wrist and rubbed the spot where it had been. “He will be among the most loyal and one to make a good example of.”

“Bring him,” she instructed Indra and a few moments later two burly guards dragged Gonin’s choice over. He didn’t make it easy, and both guards had to force him to his knees in front of her. He glared up at her. One of his eyes was swollen shut and blood caked his neck and the left side of his head. He had put up a fight, but he had more left.

He threw a glance at Gonin and started slightly in recognition. He looked back at Lexa. “ _Ai nou tel yu enti_.” 1

She didn’t say anything for a few moments. “Who is his family?” she finally asked, turning her head to direct her question to Gonin.

He told her and the warrior turned his glare to him.

“All loyalists?”

“That I cannot say for certain. Perhaps they are opportunists, and not loyalists,” Gonin said. “Nia is the kind of ruler who inspires quite a lot of the former.”

The warrior tried to surge to his feet and lunge at Gonin, but his guards were faster and threw him to the ground then placed him back on his knees.

Lexa remained unmoving and unperturbed.

“He led the initial wave of attacks." Indra kept her attention on him.

“Difficult, isn’t it,” Lexa said in response to her statement but she kept her eyes on him as well, “to be successful in a battle when your leader provides you more merchants than warriors, and old men long past their prime.”

He continued to glare at her.

“Difficult to coordinate strategy with untrained forces who were given no choice but to take up weapons whether they could use them or not.”

The barest flicker of uncertainty might have appeared in his eyes. Or it could have been a trick from the torch the guard next to her held.

“There was no way you could have won this battle tonight.” She cocked her head. “You were thrown into the streets, left to do nothing more than further Nia’s plans.” She stepped closer and leaned down a little, so she could meet his gaze more directly. “ _Yu plana don bana yu op gon stedaun_ ,”2 she said in a tone that could have frozen the flames that lingered in the marketplace. “That is the nature of who you serve.”

His lips twitched but still he said nothing.

She straightened and drew one of her swords in a slow, deliberate motion. “The question you must ask yourself now, since you choose to remain loyal to one who shows nothing of that to you, is how merciful I feel this night.” She nodded at the guards on either side of him and they stood him up.

He stared at her for a few moments, silent, good eye narrowed, and then it widened in shock when she ran him through in a quick, efficient motion. She pulled her blade out of his chest and wiped it on his trousers. “Bring me the next prisoner,” she said, as if speaking about some mundane matter.

The guards carried his body a few paces away and dropped him unceremoniously to the ground then went to the next prisoner in line.

“I know him, _Heda_ ,” Gonin said. “Not well, but he, too, served close to Nia. Although he may be more amenable to talking now.”

“We shall see,” she said as the guards brought him over and pushed him to his knees. Blood matted his beard, but she didn’t think it was his, since she saw no wounds on his face or head. A seasoned and skilled warrior, Lexa gauged. Older but still in his prime. Wary but not afraid. Not defiant, either. Calculating. He was weighing his odds. He noted Gonin’s presence, and though his expression said he recognized him, he didn’t react.

“Were you with Nia at _Maun-de_?” Lexa asked.

He looked at her. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Her title fell easily from his lips, without animosity. His voice was soft, and for a moment he reminded her of Gustus.

“What is your name, _gona_?”

“ _Ai laik Branek_ , _Heda_.”

“How long have you served Nia?”

“I was brought into her guard five years ago. She came to power when I was still a junior warrior and it was three years after that.”

She regarded him, her hand resting on the pommel of one of her knives.

“I serve my people,” he said. “And the throne of _Azgeda_.”

“Which is currently in contention.”

He flashed a wry smile. “Not in _Azgeda_. Here, however—” he shrugged.

Clever, saying but not saying his thoughts. If he were in _Azgeda_ , he would be serving Roan, and pleased to do it. He was a soldier more than anything, and fought Nia’s battles because he was sworn to serve his _heda_ , not necessarily because he believed in her.

“Where is Nia now?”

“I do not know. She tells some of us some things, while others something else. She ordered me to attack once the fire brought your forces to the marketplace.”

“Why?”

“Her only instruction in that regard was to hold our position as long as we could.”

A delaying tactic. But for what? “She knew, then, that you would be outnumbered and defeated.”

“As did I. Several among us fled and did not engage in the battle.”

“Opportunists,” Gonin said and the warrior looked at him and nodded.

“ _Sha_. I don’t blame them. We don’t know why we are here or what Nia intends to do, though most of us suspect it is part of her larger plan to remove you, _Heda_.” He shrugged again. “Most of us are tired and only wish to return home to our families and a leader who doesn’t send us on fools’ errands.”

Lexa kept her expression mild, though she was surprised that he would so willingly say such a thing to her, obliquely referencing Nia as a fool and Roan as a leader.

“You were loyal,” he said to Gonin. “For a while, at least. I see in your eyes now that you have come to another conclusion.” His gaze lingered on Gonin’s chains.

“There are many things that I thought I believed,” Gonin said. “I have had time to think about them.”

Branek looked him over, probably assessing his general physical and emotional state to determine the kind of captor Lexa was. She would have done the same, in his position. “And what have you determined?” Branek asked him.

“That I, too, am tired and wish to return home.”

He seemed to make a decision, then, and looked back at her. “I cannot say whether Nia is in the city, _Heda_. I suspect if not, she is near. But I see now that she also does not care what happened to those of us who fought her battle here. And that is no leadership at all.” A note of disgust hung in his statement. “I can tell you of some of her movements after _Maun-de_ , and a bit about getting us into place within the city. I can also tell you that a few of us came here before she arrived at the mountain, as a fallback. Perhaps forty total did that, entering the city at different intervals. They were told to wait for further instructions.”

“When did you arrive?” she asked.

“Before you did after _Maun-de_. I can tell you what I know about where Nia’s forces within Polis stayed before you increased security.”

“Might Nia be working with other clans?”

“Possibly. I haven’t seen her for a few days, so I cannot say. She kept us divided and isolated from each other while we waited for instructions.” He paused and repositioned one of his knees. “I tried to find some of the others, but there are many warriors here who are not enamored with _Azgeda_. So I stopped and waited for the message.”

She looked at Indra, who was scowling. Not unusual for her. Lexa shifted her attention back to him. “I will listen to what you have to say, _Branek kom Azgeda_. If you speak truth, I will turn you over to Roan. If you do not—” she threw a glance at the body of the other warrior.

He nodded in acceptance and Lexa motioned for the guards to move him over to the group of prisoners she had already questioned. The last three she had to talk to included a junior warrior who told her nothing she did not already know, but it was clear that was the extent of his knowledge. He, too, had been told very little and had little, if any, interest in further serving Nia. The other two had just been promoted to Nia’s guard, according to Gonin before she questioned them, and all they could tell her was that they suspected Nia might be in the city but they weren’t sure who she might be working with beyond _Azgeda_.

“Take all save Branek to the tower,” she instructed Indra in a low tone. “I want him to help Jos in the searches.” To Gonin, she said, “What ties to other clans does Nia have?”

He frowned, thinking. “She does not have many allies. But I listen, and I hear things. She tried to cultivate _Sankru_ , but _heda Tomey_ kept her distance. _Heda Izik kom Delfikru_ did, as well, but not _Danyel kom Delfikru_.”

“What did you hear?”

“He seeks more power. He wanted to be _heda_ of his clan, but the people chose Izik, and he feels he was slighted. This I heard some weeks ago in _Azgeda_.”

Lexa hooked her thumbs on her belt. “Nia spoke of this?”

“ _Sha_. To Krio.” He adjusted one of the shackles on his wrist again. “The warriors among the men you sent to the tower are opportunists in the sense that Nia has not inspired them to serve as a warrior should. I do not have a warrior’s spirit, but even I can see that men like Branek wish to serve in accordance with their spirits, but they cannot without strong leadership. The others merely wished to keep themselves and their families alive.” He was silent for a moment. “I am seeing many things now that I chose to ignore.” He scratched his face, raising both shackled hands to do it.

“Where would Nia be if she were in Polis?”

“Out of sight. Perhaps beneath a building. Or in a tunnel, if Polis has such things. She would want Ontari near to ensure her safety as a _Natblida_ , so she may be in the city, as well, because if Nia wishes to depose _Heda_ , she would want Ontari in a position to move quickly to take the flame.” He glanced toward the marketplace, from which only a muted glow emanated from the dying fire. “It seems she is trying to target you, _Heda_. Perhaps the explosions in the tower were designed to isolate you from your warriors. If that’s the case, word must have traveled quickly to the marketplace that you did not perish in the tower.” He lowered his gaze, remembering who he was speaking with.

Indra returned and directed a scowl at him, but he didn’t see it.

“Continue,” Lexa said. She still smelled smoke, but the flames at the marketplace had diminished substantially.

“Nia prefers to engage in distractions,” he said. “Doing so keeps her targets uncertain.” He picked at a scab on his hand then looked at her again. “She did such when she took _Costia kom Trikru_.”

Lexa’s fingers tightened around her belt and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Indra’s fingers wrap around the hilt of her short sword.

“You had just Ascended, but there was war between _Trishana_ and _Boudalan_ while _Delfikru_ and _Yujleda_ were on the verge of such.”

She waited. Her predecessor hadn’t been effective in staving off diplomatic crises. He lacked the temperament for it, even with the spirit of the Commander.

“Nia stirred trouble between them all to keep your attention focused elsewhere. But you proved to be adept at putting an end to petty disputes. So she tried to stir trouble in the tower, before you ensured the security it has now.”

Lexa remembered only too well the days before Costia was kidnapped, and the incessant wrangling of her advisors and the constant flare-ups in the jockeying for power in the wake of a Commander’s death. Newly Ascended, she didn’t have the luxury of settling in easily. Instead, she moved swiftly and often had to employ violence to ensure the clans understood that she was a different leader, and one they would have to reckon with.

“Another dispute between _Delfikru_ and _Yujleda_ occurred and it required you to engage in a brief battle near _Delfikru_ ’s territory. I have always suspected that Nia cultivated that, and that she set traps for Costia. She knew she was one of your favorite archers, and she learned you had grown up together.”

She clamped her jaws together, waiting. Indra moved a little closer.

“She assumed Costia held secrets, because of the years you had shared. But she got nothing from her.” He stopped, and for that Lexa was grateful. “Nia targeted you then, but she also looked for opportunities to do so indirectly. And in order to create those opportunities, she launched chaotic events that would keep you and your allies constantly dealing with them.”

He glanced toward the marketplace again. “She may not have had the opportunity this night to remove you from power, but she seeks to weaken you somehow, and keep your attention on things that have to be dealt with. Whatever her intentions were here—” and he pointed with his shackled hands toward the marketplace and then at the guard house, “she created an opportunity for something else to advance her plans. She may not even know what it is, yet, but she will soon enough, and she will exploit it.” He licked his lips, nervous, especially because of Indra’s expression. “This is why so many pretend loyalty to her. They don’t know what she knows, or what she might do. She leads through chaos. Some are attracted to it, to the power she wields over others, however fleeting.” He coughed and cleared his throat.

“Why did you believe?” Indra asked, tone harsh.

“I liked the rush of power being in her circle brought. People fear her. There is power in fear.” He shook his head. “But it isn’t true power. After a while, it becomes like a poison.”

“You are particularly talkative this night, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said. “Perhaps had you been this talkative when I initially made your acquaintance, you would be in very different circumstances.”

“It is better for us both that I was not. Like I said, I have had time to think, and to listen.”

“And what have you heard?” Lexa asked.

“Your warriors respect you, _Heda_. Truly. That is not something I heard in _Azgeda_ after Nia took the throne. They appreciate that you do what you say you will do, that you thank them, and that you invite opinions other than your own, but you do not give up power when you do these things. Instead, you somehow have more power. And it doesn’t feel like poison.” He looked at her, something akin to wonder in his eyes. “It is said that Roan’s father ruled like that, but I was young when he died, and too foolish to understand how effective he was.” He met her gaze. “ _Heda_ , you must not dismiss Nia’s actions, however petty some of these distractions are. They are serving a larger purpose. Fortunately, it makes her predictable, because distractions are something she always uses.”

Lexa studied him for a few moments. Torchlight played across his facial scars and in his eyes was a sadness and maybe resignation. “Tell me about Branek.”

“He is an experienced warrior. His loyalties lie with his people and to the throne and what it represents, not necessarily who graces it. His family remained on good terms with Roan, though not openly.”

“How do you know this?” Indra demanded.

Gonin instinctively took a step back, giving himself a little more distance from her. “Nothing Branek said. Branek is the kind of man who treats everyone fairly and keeps his own counsel. He was always respectful of Roan, even as Nia further marginalized him. I also know that in the days before Roan was banished, he spent time at the home of Branek’s brother. Not many people noticed, because Roan is well-known and spent time with many people.” He shrugged and looked at Lexa. “Branek will do what he believes his oath of service encompasses, and if that is at odds with his loyalty to his people and what the throne symbolizes, he may be swayed.”

She had suspected that, and it could prove useful. She was about to respond when Ferris’ baritone rumbled in greeting. He was striding toward her, Atlan with him, along with Jos, Darya, and two other guards.

“ _Heda_. We have Mykal in custody.”

Finally, some good news.

“The tower appears to be secure but we received word from you that you wish to begin searching the city now.”

“ _Sha_. Coordinate searches on the outer edges with those near the marketplace. I want every _Azgeda_ questioned. Jos, you will deal with that, and perhaps Darya will help.”

“Jos?” Gonin interrupted and he stared at the newcomers, shocked. “But you—Landis—”

“ _Sha_ ,” Jos said. “ _Ai ste nou stedoun_.” 3

Gonin’s eyes remained wide.

“ _Heda_ offered me a choice, something few others would do.”

“Was that you in the cell when _Heda_ questioned me again?”

“ _Sha_. She wanted my opinion on what your motivation might be regardless of what you said. And she also wished me to assess the information you provided.”

He looked at Lexa, shock still apparent in his eyes.

“I have made a request of Roan that Jos serve as _Azgeda_ representative should the council accept his petition to enter the _kongeda_ ,” she said. “I will entertain expertise from many quarters, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ , as your presence here indicates.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Darya said, “I would provide my services as well in the search of the city. Tam sent a messenger to Roan with news of what happened here this night.”

“ _Os_. _Yu get em in_?” 4 She motioned toward Branek, seated on the ground, hands still bound behind him.

“ _Sha_. Branek. A skilled warrior. His loyalties lie with the throne and the leader most likely to represent it best.”

“He has offered to provide information to the _kongeda_. Jos, please coordinate with Darya and utilize Branek as well in the search of the city. He may be willing to identify others who are involved in Nia’s plans.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” both Jos and Darya said and they walked over to Branek.

“I have come to a decision, _Gonin kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said.

He waited.

“I am satisfied with your actions.” She gestured at the guard with him. “ _Breik em au_.” 4

Ferris watched, hand near his sword.

The guard handed his torch to another and removed a key from his pouch that he used to unlock Gonin’s shackles. When he finished, Gonin massaged his wrists, wide-eyed once again, staring at Lexa.

“You are free to leave the city. I will supply a guard to escort you to the gates.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_. But—” he hesitated and glanced at Jos, who was speaking with Branek, then back at her. “I may also be able to help identify those involved in Nia’s plans.”

Lexa almost smiled. “Jos,” she said, loud enough for Jos to hear.

“ _Sha_.” Jos left Darya with Branek and walked over to her.

“Have you need of Gonin’s services? He says he may be able to help identify those involved in Nia’s plans.”

“I believe so, _Heda_.”

“Then I place him in your charge, _bandrona kom Azgeda_.” Lexa said nothing beyond that because her meaning was clear. Jos was responsible for him and if anything went awry with that, Jos would also have to pay.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She looked at Gonin. “Is this amenable? Understand that _Heda_ has my loyalty.”

Again, Lexa almost smiled as Jos let him know that if he stepped out of line, Jos herself would accept responsibility and punish him herself if she had to.

“It is amenable. _Mochof_.” To Lexa, he bowed his head. “ _En mochof gon yu_ , _Heda_.” 5

She watched him accompany Jos back to Darya and Branek.

“ _Heda_ , you are certain freeing him is wise?”

She shifted her gaze to Indra. “Jos will ensure the wisdom of my decision.”

Indra scowled, but not as severely as usual.

“Jos declared her loyalty to me because I did not force her to do so. She observed and made a decision. She will not allow Gonin to jeopardize it.”

Indra’s expression softened a degree before she looked at Ferris. “What of Mykal?”

“He is being held in the tower, and it is as you and Clarke suspected, _Heda_. He was dressed as a serving woman. Clarke discovered him among those injured in the explosions. He had a poisoned blade. Clarke suspects he may have been attempting to dispatch a witness. Wash is attempting to determine if that’s the case.”

“Did Clarke speak with him?” She enjoyed the way Clarke’s name felt in her mouth, loved speaking about her because somehow it made her feel connected to her even when they were apart.

“ _Sha_. From what Wash said, Mykal was influenced by Danyel but also appears to be loyal to Nia. He said that Nia is attempting to remove you and though the plot in the tower doesn’t appear to have worked, he gave her the impression that these other occurrences are part of her further plans.”

Gonin had suggested that, as well. “Indra will remain here and coordinate the searches of the city.”

“I’ll help,” Atlan said and Lexa nodded, pleased. Atlan and Indra worked well together.

“I would speak with Clarke and then Mykal,” she said, deciding that she could return to the tower. What Mykal didn’t tell Clarke he might tell her. Especially since Lexa was not adverse to using more stringent measures than Clarke.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Ferris said. “When Clarke returns from the gates—”

“Gates?” Lexa’s chest constricted and Indra’s eyes narrowed. “Clarke is not in the tower?”

“She may be back now, _Heda_. There was a message. A guard said that a _Skaikru_ who said he was Sanders was at the gates. He said he had information about Nia and Pike. Clarke did not think it wise to bring him into the city, so she took Rex and Ayda with her…” he said, his voice trailing off at Lexa’s expression.

Without a word she started striding in the direction of the main gates, the rest of them and a few guards hurrying to catch up. She increased her speed through the darkened streets until she was jogging, her heart pounding from that and a growing sense of dread.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said. “ _Hod op_.”

She stopped at the urgency in her tone and saw what Indra did. Two _Trikru_ men approached, a warrior supported between them.

“ _Heda_ ,” one said, and in the dim light from a nearby structure Lexa recognized the warrior they carried as Ayda, who was barely conscious. The side of her face was swollen almost beyond recognition and blood caked her lips.

“ _Chit don kom au_?” 6 she asked the men who held her up.

“We don’t know. We found her in the street like this.”

“ _Heda_ ,” came a ragged whisper and it was a moment before Lexa realized it came from Ayda.

She leaned closer. “Speak.”

“They…took…Clarke.” Every word sounded as if the journey from her throat to her lips was long and painful and each tore at Lexa’s heart like a rusted blade.

“Who?” she asked, though she knew, knew it with a terrible certainty that sank like heavy stones to the bottom of a lake.

“ _Azgeda_.” Ayda’s head fell forward and she sagged between the men, who struggled to keep her upright. Ferris and Atlan helped lower her to the ground where she lay with no movement. Lexa watched all this as if from a great distance, strangely detached as a dark, cold numbness filled her, like water pouring slowly into a bucket.

“Ferris,” Lexa said, her voice hard, almost crystalline, “go to the gates and ensure that Sanders is isolated in the guard house. I want Wash to meet me there. I want security doubled at the gate and everyone leaving the city checked in addition to those coming in.”

He immediately left with a guard.

Lexa looked at the guards who remained. “Get Ayda to the tower.”

Silently, two picked her up.

“Take me to where you found her,” she said to the _Trikru_ men. “Now.”

Without a word, they hurried back the way they had come, Lexa right behind them, two guards, Indra, and Atlan at her heels.

Everything around her was honed into sharp focus. Cognizant of every breath, every beat of her heart, every sound and smell, everything she saw in the darkness and dim light some structures offered. She knew why Clarke had gone to the gates. Because she was Clarke. She was the maddening, frustrating, stubborn woman from the sky who had captured Lexa's heart, who made her spirit burn and soar in ways it never had, who could be at once endearing and in the next breath intractable. So of course she had gone to the gates. And Nia must have discovered something about their relationship or she wouldn't have bothered with her, wouldn't have used her to strike at Lexa this way.

“Here, _Heda_ ,” one man said, pointing at a splotch of something dark on the street that was probably Ayda’s blood.

“What did you hear?”

“She sounds of swordplay,” one said.

“I heard her shout at someone to run,” the other offered. “We were a street over and when we got here, there was no one else nearby. Perhaps her attackers thought her dead.”

Or they didn’t want to waste further time killing her. Lexa studied the ground. One of the guards in her group held her torch over the blood. “Spread out and move toward the gates. We need to find Rex, as well.”

“ _Osir na sis yu au_ ,”7 said one of the _Trikru_ men.

“ _Yu laik Ari_?” she said and he nodded in surprise, that she would know his name. “ _En dison laik yu bro, Otus_?” 8

The other man nodded, also surprised.

“ _Yu tu_ , _kom ai_.” 9 She glanced at Indra, who nodded.

“I will cover these streets.” She motioned with a hand. “Atlan, take those. One guard with me, one with Atlan, one with _Heda_.”

“ _Hoz op_ ,”10 Lexa said and they each started in their respective directions, Lexa setting the pace, which was fast. She saw no sign of Clarke, which might be a good thing because if the unthinkable had happened, Nia’s warriors would have left her body behind. A little over halfway between the gates and the tower, Atlan burst from a side street.

“ _Osir don hon Rex op_ ,”11 she said, motioning behind her.

“ _Em ste stedaun_?” 12

“No.” From her tone, however, his condition was grave. She turned and jogged down the street to where Rex was slumped against a building, his breathing harsh and labored.

Lexa knelt in front of him. Chest wounds, it appeared. She smelled blood. “Rex,” she said and he opened his eyes.

“ _Heda_. There were…eight at first. Maybe ten.” He stopped and sucked in a rough breath. “Clarke ran. Ayda…followed to…protect. I tried to…give her and Clarke…time.” He coughed. “They wanted Clarke,” he said, voice a little stronger, “and one said not to kill her.” He grimaced and hissed between his teeth. “ _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Moba_. _Tel ai houmon en ai nomfa_ … _bilaik ai hod emo in_. _Beja_.” 13

“ _Yu no ste wan op hir_.” 14 She would not allow that. “Get him to the tower. Now.”

Ari and Otus and the guard carefully lifted him. He hissed again through his teeth, but stayed conscious. They moved awkwardly but quickly away.

“To the gates,” Lexa said and her tone left no room for argument. Atlan followed without a word.

Running helped with Lexa’s focus, and helped keep the rage building within from clouding her judgment. It was what Nia wanted, to force her to lose control and do something that would further endanger Clarke and weaken her position as _Heda_.

This thought lent more speed and when they were nearly at the gates, Lexa was sprinting. She slowed as she approached the guard house. Atlan panted behind her but remained silent.

Ferris stood outside the guard house talking to Arling. “ _Heda_ ,” they both said when they saw her. “Wash is on his way,” Ferris added.

“Where is Sanders?”

Ferris glanced at Arling.

“What is it?” she demanded. If he had escaped, there would be retribution.

“ _Heda_ ,” Ferris said, “he is dead. Poison.”

The rage she had been keeping chained within seemed to heat, as if it would melt through anything and everything.

“And,” Ferris continued, “I do not know what this man Sanders looked like, but the man who is dead within is not Sanders.”

That refocused her. “Explain.”

“The dead man is one of the _natrona kom Skaikru_ that Clarke banished. The big one.”

“Show me.”

Arling led her inside to a small room. The door stood open and a torch burned in a holder near it. She took it and went inside. Jon lay face-up in the middle of the floor, his limbs and mouth contorted in what she recognized as the signs of poison.

“Ferris speaks true. It is Jon.” She squatted next to him. He had wrapped a cloth around his left hand, probably to hide his _natrona_ brand. Arling took the torch from her and she cut Jon’s shirt open and inspected his chest. Ferris rolled him over.

“There,” he said, pointing to his right side. The wound had been a quick puncture, but the blade had done its job.

“He died soon after he arrived at the gates,” Arling said. “I sent another messenger to the tower with this news, but it didn’t arrive in time.”

And the messenger took a route that Clarke didn’t, Lexa finished silently.

“So this _natrona_ , at least, found Nia,” Ferris said.

“Or she found him. He was _Skaikru_ , and not versed in the ways of the ground. She probably told him she would help him if he did this task for her.”

Arling squatted next to her. “Why poison him, then?”

“So he wouldn’t back out,” Ferris offered. “Nia may have told him that if he performed the task, she would provide the antidote. Which she never intended to give him. His death prevents him from providing information.”

Lexa stood. “What did he say when he arrived at the gates?”

Arling straighted, as well. “That he was Sanders and he wished to speak with Clarke. He said if Clarke was not available, he would speak with you. He said he had information about Nia and Pike. After I sent the first messenger to the tower, he started sweating and shaking. When I realized he was poisoned, I sent another messenger.”

“Nia gambled.” Lexa glared at the body. “She knew that Sanders would get Clarke’s attention. And she also knew that I was not in the tower because of the fires and attacks in the marketplace.” Lexa interlaced her fingers and rested them on the top of her head and stared at the ceiling. “She knew this.”

“So she is close,” Ferris said. “She would have to be.” He gestured at Jon. “He would have been wounded soon before he got here.”

Arling frowned. “We found no one in the forests when he arrived.”

“Whoever it was who stabbed him may have had a horse. Or could have been far enough away from here when he used the blade that you would not have found him in a quick search.”

“But someone would need to be watching.” Lexa scowled. “Because Jon might have died before he got here. Did you check the trees?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Someone already in the city,” Ferris suggested, “who would then alert others.”

“Nia may be in the city?” Arling’s eyes widened.

Lexa dropped her arms. “It’s possible. Searches have already started.” She thought about what Gonin had said, about how Nia was good at taking advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves. The _natrona kom Skaikru_ may have stumbled upon her and she capitalized on the information they may have offered. She had nothing to lose, and desperation could make someone more formidable because it made them more flexible and adaptable. Nia had few forces with her, which also made her nimble and able to adjust. She was at least mostly mobile, and able to create diversions using few forces. And if she had information from the _natrona_ , she could quickly adjust her plans.

“Anyone entering or exiting the city will be thoroughly searched,” she said to Arling. “Anyone _Azgeda_ is to be detained here until Jos questions them.”

“ _Heda_ , perhaps we should allow no _Azgeda_ to enter or leave,” Arling said.

“I will not do that unless Roan wishes it. He has more _Azgeda_ support than Nia and I will not make the many pay for the deeds of a few.” Her gaze bored into his. “Understand me. No one is to question any _Azgeda_ without Jos present. You will explain to any _Azgeda_ you detain that you are waiting for the _Azgeda_ ambassador, under my orders.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Arling bobbed his head in assent.

“If anyone attempts to escape or attacks, subdue if possible and notify me immediately.”

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Heda_ ,” said a voice from the door and Lexa turned, hand automatically on the hilt of her knife.

“Fyzen,” she said in acknowledgment. “You look a bit better.”

“Thanks to you.” He looked at Jon’s corpse. “I heard the guards talking. This is something Nia has done in the past.”

“Tell me.”

“I have a cousin who served in Nia’s guard. He told me once that she used someone to convey a message but she had him poisoned before he arrived so that soon after he did, he would die. My cousin said that she told the messenger that it was merely a way for her to ensure that he delivered the message, and that the person who administered it would provide an antidote once the task was completed.”

“She’s probably done it more than we know,” Arling muttered and Lexa shot him a warning glare.

Fyzen drew himself up a bit. “If _Heda_ will allow, I would like to help _bandrona Jos_ in any way I can. Or if _Heda_ prefers, I will return to _Azgeda_.”

“You are not yet strong enough for the journey,” Lexa said. “But I will have Jos speak with you. Go. Rest.”

He nodded and left and Lexa lifted an eyebrow at Arling. “You let him wander about unattended?”

“No. We let him wander within the guard house, when he can. He is still very weak. And he has been helpful teaching me how a vendor would speak to people,” he added.

Lexa was about to respond when Wash burst in, sweat running down the side of his face. “ _Heda_.”

“Outside,” she ordered and he nodded and accompanied her back into the night.

“This man is not Sanders,” she said once they were a few yards away from the guard house. “It is Jon, one of the _natrona kom Skaikru._ Nia poisoned him to ensure he delivered the message. She probably promised an antidote.”

Wash made a disgusted noise.

“How is it that you allowed Clarke to leave the tower?”

“I have no excuse, _Heda_. When she heard Sanders was at the gate with information about Nia and Pike, she was certain it would help you if she spoke with him. She did not want him brought to the tower because she feared he might be ill or perhaps dangerous in other ways.” He stared at her, and in the light offered by the recent moonrise, he appeared stricken. “Titus and I were uneasy, but she is the _Skaikru_ representative and it is within her authority to make this decision.”

Lexa put her hands on her hips and took a couple steps away, calming herself. Wash was right. It was within Clarke’s authority to do what she did, and it was also within Clarke’s personality to do it, authority be damned. It was one of the things she admired about her, Clarke’s willingness to take risks upon herself if she thought it would benefit others. But it was also one of the most maddening things about her. Still, why would she not believe the man at the gate was Sanders? It was a stroke of luck and genius, actually, that Nia managed to set them all up like this, something she couldn’t have done had she not found the _natrona_ , but she did, and she used them as an effective weapon.

Lexa’s jaw was clenched so hard it hurt. She forced herself to focus, since she couldn’t help Clarke if she allowed emotion to dictate her decisions.

“Nia will soon make demands,” she said, turning back to Wash. “Unless we find her first. But until then, we search the city. I have charged Jos with questioning all _Azgeda_ within and all who enter. No _Azgeda_ are to be questioned without Jos present. Tam sent a messenger to Roan to alert him to what has happened, so he may come to Polis very soon.” And that was another matter to think about.

“ _Sha_.”

“Right now, I must return to the tower.” She started walking and he called a guard to accompany and they raced to catch up with her. She almost wished some of Nia’s warriors would attack her because she needed to strike out, to render someone mercilessly beaten. No matter how many attacked, she would destroy them all, and leave only blood and bone in her wake.

She strode into the tower and all who saw her went immediately silent and dropped their gazes. She ignored them all and took the stairs to her quarters. The guards on this floor moved against the wall as she passed, gazes averted, issuing barely audible greetings.

“ _Konge Balta nau_ ,”15 she ordered Wash as she entered her quarters and went directly to the shelf that held Clarke’s radio. Lexa picked it up and went through the procedures Clarke had shown her earlier that night. When it was turned on and she was sure it was on the proper channel, she pressed the button to speak, marveling a little at this tech.

“Raven,” she said, then waited. “Raven,” she said again. “Are you there?”

“Here,” came Raven’s voice and even through the slight background hiss Lexa heard the sleep in it. “Clarke?”

“No—”

“Lexa?” she interjected. “Shit. What’s going on?” She no longer sounded sleepy.

“Yes, it’s Lexa. Listen to me and say nothing until I finish.”

“Okay,” Raven said without her usual bravado. “Listening.”

“Nia has Clarke.”

Raven’s sharp intake of breath was the only sign she gave that she was still on the other end.

“I need to speak with Kane and Abby. It may be best that you and Bellamy are in the room with them, as well. Can you get them together now?”

“Yes. Stay on this channel. I’ll be right back. Out.”

Lexa set the radio on the table and took several slow, deep breaths and willed calm to flow through her. Clarke wasn’t Costia and circumstances were different, now. Clarke was much more valuable to Nia alive in this situation than dead. But Nia would want to use her for something, and she would want Lexa to know what that was. And once she knew, there was nothing that would keep Lexa from exacting from Nia the debt that had gone too long unpaid. “Clarke,” she whispered. “Find a way to survive. ” She bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. “As long as my heart beats and my blood flows, I will find you. Know that.”

Someone knocked on the door.

“ _Min yu op_.”

Balta entered, followed by Wash and Indra.

“I have contacted _Skaikru_ and soon I will speak with Kane and Abby. Sit,” she directed. “And let us determine our next steps.”

1 _Ai nou tel du enti_ : I won’t tell you anything  
2 _Yu plana don bana yu op gon stedaun_ : Your queen has left you for dead  
3 _Ai ste nou stedoun_ : I am not dead  
4 _Breik em au_ : Release him  
5 _En mochof gon yu_ : And thanks to you  
6 _Chit don kom au_? What happened?  
7 _Osir na sis yu au_ : We [excludes listener] will help you.  
8 _Yu laik Ari…En dison laik yu bro, Otus_? You are Ari…and this is your brother, Otus?  
9 _Yu tu, kom ai_ : You two, with me  
10 _Hoz op_ : Let’s go [pretty sure you’ve seen this one]  
11 _Osir don hon Rex op_ : Osir [excludes the listener] found Rex  
12 _Em ste stedaun_? Is he dead?  
13 _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Moba_. _Tel ai houmon en ai nomfa_ … _bilaik ai hod emo in_. _Beja_ : Apologies, _Heda_. Apologies. Tell my wife and son that I love them. Please.”  
14 _Yu no ste wan op hir_ : You are not dying here  
15 _Konge Balta nau_ : Fetch Balta now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY, everybody! Thanks for your patience! So here you go. Lexa finished kicking ass all over the market place, questioned some prisoners, and then...oh, shit. She finds out that Clarke went to the gates and...well...we know how THAT worked out for Clarke. But Clarke is Lexa's boo, and when you are Heda Lexa's boo, you have a force of freaking nature in your corner, who will unleash in ways that only she can...
> 
> AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS. It really means a lot to me, friends, and I hope you're having a good time on this ride, because I sure am.
> 
> Hit me up on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) if you're so inclined. I love to chat and I'll answer whatever!
> 
> Music that accompanied me in writing this chapter: The albums "War" and "October" by U2


	62. We Can't Always Choose Our Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has company in her cell, and she finally meets Lexa's nemesis.

Something was digging into her thigh. Insistent and annoying. Was that whispering? Clarke opened her eyes and saw nothing at first. She lay still, listening. The faint smell of chemicals lingered in her nostrils and the memory of what had happened clicked into place.

“Wake up,” someone whispered. The plea came with a nudge to her thigh.

“I am,” she managed, trying to keep her voice down but her throat was dry and it came out as a rasp. Her jaw throbbed and she winced.

Whatever was pushing into her thigh stopped and Clarke tried to move her limbs. Her legs weren’t tied, but her hands were, behind her back. Nothing seemed broken or out of place, so she struggled to a sitting position. The ground beneath her was hard and cold and wherever she was, it smelled musty and unused. Lesser darkness filtered in from what looked like a grate of some sort above.

“Who else is in here?” she asked.

“Just me,” said the voice. “They dumped you in here a little bit ago. My hands are tied and I couldn’t really check on you.”

Clarke tested the ties on her own wrists. They may have given a tiny bit, but not much and the more she resisted, the more they dug into her skin. She stopped and looked around. There was no way to know how long she’d been carried with the hood on, but it seemed to still be night time outside, so hopefully not that long. Chloroform worked as long as it remained in close proximity, she recalled Abby telling her. Once it was removed, people generally regained consciousness quickly.

“Who are you?” Clarke asked.

“Lora.”

“From Arkadia?”

“I was. Until you banished me.” Bitterness laced her tone, but she had recognized Clarke when her captors brought her in, at least.

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know exactly.”

“How far from Polis?”

Lora was silent for a few moments. “I’m not sure. After you forced us out, we walked for a while. A few hours, maybe. And then Ice Nation warriors found us and brought us here. We walked another few hours, the way we had already come.”

So there was a chance that they weren’t that far from Polis, if the warriors walked them back toward the city. And she doubted she could have been carried very far. There was also the matter of getting her out of the city, since Lexa had increased security at the gates.

The gates. Clarke made a disgusted noise. That was a set-up. And she fell for it. And Lexa. She was going to be so worried. And so mad. “Have you seen a woman named Nia?”

“Yeah. At least that’s who she said she was.”

“Shh,” Clarke said.

“What? Why?”

“Just be quiet for a little bit.”

Fortunately, Lora did as she said and Clarke listened. She heard Lora’s breathing and beyond that, what might have been the sound of a breeze above. She struggled to her feet.

“What are you doing?” Lora asked.

“Getting some information. Stay where you are.” Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she could just make out walls nearby. She stepped carefully and inspected the room, which was probably about fifteen square feet. The floor was littered with what she guessed was dead leaves though she stepped on a few things that might have been small chunks of rock. She also found the door. She lightly tapped it with her boot and it reminded her of the doors at the _pauna_ enclosure, heavy and metal. She put her ear against it and listened but heard nothing. Carefully, she moved to the center of the room and looked up at the barred grate. She could just make out the tops of trees and beyond that, a star or two.

“Where are your friends?” Clarke asked as she made her way back to Lora, who sat against the closest wall. “And keep your voice down.”

“I don’t know. Nia asked us all questions—separately—but I guess I didn’t have the answers she wanted, so she put me in here.”

“What about Sanders?”

“Sanders?”

“Did you talk to him?”

“He’s not even here,” Lora said, confusion in her tone. “None of us think he made it out of the mountain.”

Clarke stared into the dark, a terrible realization hitting her. This whole thing was a set-up. There was no Sanders. So who was the man at the gates? She pushed against the wall and slid down it to sit. She shifted to get more comfortable, though that was a relative term in here. “What kinds of questions did Nia ask you?”

“She wanted to know about some guy named Roan and what he was doing with Lexa. I mean, I don’t know. We were in the dungeon practically the whole time we were in Polis. The only thing I knew about Lexa was that she was the Grounder Commander.”

“What else?”

“Wait a sec. Why the hell should I tell _you_?”

“Because you clearly want my help or you wouldn’t have made sure I was awake. We may not have much time. Nia has no problem killing people. So if you want to go on living and hopefully escape, we have to work together.” Maybe she shouldn’t have used such a cold tone with her. Lora was the one in the _natrona_ group who seemed like she’d been fed a line to go to the mountain. She heard a sniffle.

“Look,” Clarke said, softening her tone, “If we want to get out of here alive, we have to work together. Once we’re out of here, you can say whatever the hell you want to me. But right now, we’re wasting time. Will you help?”

Silence.

Clarke gritted her teeth in frustration, but it hurt her jaw so she stopped and moved her wrists around instead, trying to loosen the ties.

“Okay,” Lora said. “Nia asked about you.”

“What, specifically?”

“She wanted to know if all of Sky Crew was supportive of—um—some kind of alliance. There’s a word for it.”

“The _kongeda_?”

“Yeah. I said I didn’t know, since I left Arkadia when I did.” She snorted. “That was stupid, I guess.”

Clarke didn’t respond because the only thing she would have said was in agreement.

“Then she wanted to know what Lexa’s relationship to you was. I mean, what the hell? I don’t know. I mean, I heard at Arkadia that you and Lexa worked together when you went to the mountain the first time but that she was a total asshole and took some kind of shady deal and left Sky Crew to die. Which we didn’t.” She paused. “Nia already knew that, though. She wanted to know about since then, but I don’t know. I mean, it’s obvious that you and Lexa are working together again, though I think you’re crazy to do it—”

“Why is it obvious?” Clarke stopped working on the ties.

“Because you protected her from Jon when he got all crazed. I mean, you threatened to kill him to protect her. And you talk to her with respect, like you accept her leadership.”

If Lora had picked up on that, the others may have, as well, and Nia might be able to presume that the relationship she had with Lexa went beyond simple political alliance.

“Why are you working with her, anyway?”

“Because Nia is a bigger threat than Lexa. And with _Skaikru_ in an official alliance with the other clans, any threat to us is a threat to Lexa and the _kongeda_ and it’s her duty to protect us.”

“Whatever. She’s damn scary.”

Clarke smiled. “She can be intimidating.” But underneath that was so much more. She swallowed against a building lump in her throat.

“Totally. I wouldn’t mess with her. But you’re clearly not scared of her.”

“No.” Not even close. Instead, her heart ached because she could guess what Lexa would feel when she found out she was missing at the hands of Nia. Lexa had gone through this before with Nia, and here she was going through it again. If there was anything left of Nia after Lexa finished with her, Clarke would make her pay for that, too.

“I heard that the first time you were trying to ally with her, she basically was about to go to war with Arkadia.”

“Yeah.”

“But you stopped her. You had to kill some guy named Finn to do it, but you stopped her.”

Clarke’s throat tightened. “Finn was one of the original hundred that came to the Ground. He murdered several innocent people in a Grounder village. Lexa could not let that go unpunished. She’s the Commander, after all, and her people expect justice when things like that happen.” She remembered that night, walking into Lexa’s camp with the knife safely tucked into her sleeve. She had thought about trying to kill Lexa, but knew that doing so would only make things that much worse for everybody. Even then, she recognized Lexa as the linchpin in the entire Grounder political ecosystem. Without her, _Skaikru_ would have been at the mercies of every clan, and by sheer numbers, there was no way her people could have survived.

“Lexa ordered him to be executed in the way of the Grounders,” Clarke said softly. “And he would have suffered a lot.” She remembered the walk from Arkadia to Lexa’s camp, the torches eerie in the night, hundreds of gazes on her but the silence that accompanied them. “I asked Lexa if I could say goodbye to him. She agreed. I made sure he didn’t suffer and that her punishment was carried out.” It wasn’t until a little later that she understood that Lexa had allowed her to do that, and at first she thought of it as particularly cruel that she wanted Clarke to carry that burden but then later she came to see how merciful it was, for her to allow her to alleviate his suffering. Something Lexa had not been able to do for Costia.

She cleared her throat. “Sometimes we can’t choose our allies. We have to work with what we’re given.”

Lora was silent for a while. “Nia wanted to know where you were staying in Polis. I thought that was weird. None of us know. I told her that, too.” She made a soft coughing noise. “Nia’s scary, too, but in a different way than Lexa.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nia might be a little crazy. I mean, she’s obsessed with you and Lexa. Super weird.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Who’s Roan? Nia asked about him a lot.”

“Her son.”

“Are you serious?”

“She banished him a while back and in the past few days, he’s taken _Azgeda_ from her. She’s not very popular among her own people.”

“No wonder she’s so interested in him.”

They lapsed into silence and Clarke considered options. They couldn’t be that far from Polis, because Nia would need to be close to control the actions she had already taken. Plus, she would need to be close if something happened to Lexa and she would need to move fast to try to get Ontari installed. The thought made her ill.

“You’re sure you don’t know where your friends are?” Clarke asked. “Think.”

“No idea. Jax probably told Nia whatever she wanted to hear. And he probably would have sold the rest of us out, too.” Her tone was particularly stinging.

Interesting. “What about the others?”

“Michi and Jon are kind of a team. Michi doesn’t trust Jax, so Jon doesn’t.”

“Why did they go to the mountain?”

She didn’t respond for a bit. “Michi hates Grounders, but I think the real issue is that she hates Ice Nation, though she thinks all Grounders are the same. Jon, too. Jax doesn’t really care. He just didn’t want to be at Arkadia because the mountain was nicer and better protected and he didn’t want to have Abby as a chancellor.”

“Why not?”

“No offense to you, but Jax hates her because of the culling. His dad volunteered.”

Clarke closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. Her jaw ached and she was still feeling a little light-headed.

“It’s not your fault,” Lora said. “You were already on the ground. You didn’t know what was happening. But Jax blamed your mom for hiding what your dad knew, even though your mom came clean about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your mom played a video that your dad had made. She broadcast it all over the Ark, and he talked about how the Ark was dying and we didn’t have much time and we needed to come together to figure out solutions. She did it because she didn’t agree with the culling plan Kane and Jaha had decided on and she wanted people to know what was happening and why it was getting so hard to breathe.”

Clarke swallowed, trying to force the lump in her throat away.

“I heard Jaha volunteered for the culling. They were originally going to make it look like a malfunction in Section 17. But then I heard Kane convinced him not to volunteer.” She paused. “Kane was the one who really pushed for a culling, though.”

No wonder he had been so supportive of her after she radiated all the _Maunon_. He had been in her position, and had made the same horrible choice. The difference was, he had killed his own people.

“Anyway, Jax blamed your mom for what happened. Though it was probably Jaha and Kane mostly, since they probably threatened her with being floated if she said anything.”

Clarke said nothing, but her chest felt like it was squeezing her heart and lungs. She cleared her throat. “So why did you go to the mountain?”

This time the silence between them went on a lot longer.

“Because I’m an idiot,” she finally said.

“So you don’t have any particular issues with Grounders?”

“Just the ones that attacked us when we came to the ground.” She sighed. “I…had a thing for Jax. I thought he felt the same way. But he pretty much said what I wanted to hear. I figured that out when we got to the mountain and then, it was too late.”

“You could have left.”

“No, because Sanders wasn’t letting us. He said we had made our choice and we were staying. He wouldn’t let any of us have access to door codes or any cards or anything like that. Michi and Jon seemed fine with it, and so did Jax. But I don’t like Sanders. I hope he _is_ dead.”

She heard something above, and a shadow moved over the grate. Clarke pushed herself up, using the wall as leverage and at that moment, as she flexed her legs, she realized that the warriors who had captured her had been careless, because she felt the outline of two mini-mines, one in each cargo pocket.

“What—” Lora started.

“Someone’s coming.”

Soon after, she heard a bar being drawn back on the door and the light from a torch made her wince and shut her eyes. Hands gripped her on either side and forced her to walk. Her captors said nothing and neither did she as they hauled her through the door and along a corridor. A tunnel, she realized. Some kind of underground passageway. She started counting and when she got to twenty, they went into another room, lit by a few torches. There was no grating in the ceiling, so this one was completely enclosed.

Her eyes had adjusted and she glanced around. Four _Azgeda_ warriors and a woman standing in the center of the room, wearing a long, dark cloak over her dark clothing. She carried a sword on her left hip. Her hair was reddish-brown, and she wore it swept up and back from her face. Her eyes were ringed by kohl and Clarke couldn’t quite tell what color they were, but they seemed to gleam in the dim light with an imperious intensity. She might have been beautiful, but the cruel, tight lines of her mouth indicated only danger. Clarke guessed who she was before she said anything.

“So this is the great _Wanheda_.” Nia smiled, the way a predator might as it appraised a wounded animal.

“Kneel to _plana Nia_ ,” one of the guards said in Clarke’s ear and he pressed on her shoulder to force her to the ground.

Nia waved her hand and he stopped. “Leave her,” Nia said in a low, dangerous purr. “There will be plenty of time for that. And when she does, she will beg to do it.”

He grunted and stepped back.

Nia studied her. “It was not you in my camp at _Maun-de_ ,” she said.

“Are you so certain you have the right person now?” Clarke shot back, deciding that this was the tack she needed to take with her. Risky, she knew, but she was _Wanheda_ , and people like Nia probably expected pushback from her.

The guard stepped close to her again but Nia only smiled. “Yes. Because only _Wanheda_ would leave the safety of the tower on a night like this to speak with a _Skaikru_ to help her precious _Heda_ and her precious _kongeda_. Besides—” she closed the distance between them until she was within touching distance. “Your identity was verified.” She moved her hand and Clarke forced herself not to flinch as Nia fingered a strand of her hair. She fought another urge to shiver with disgust.

She withdrew her hand. “Which one of my warriors did this to your face?” She gently gripped Clarke’s chin and turned her head to the side. “Well?” she asked, more demanding.

“ _Ai_ , _plana_.” Said a voice behind Clarke, and she recognized it as belonging to the man who had punched her.

Nia let go. “This is not what I ordered.”

“ _Em don kok au_.” 1

Clarke feigned puzzlement at his statement. It was better that Nia not know that she had become fairly proficient in Trigedasleng.

“Of course she did,” Nia responded in English. “She is _Wanheda_. I would expect nothing less of her. But I expected much more of you.”

Clarke heard what might have been nervous shuffling behind her and a muttered apology but Nia ignored him and focused on her again, and it was like her gaze was trying to peel back her layers, one by one. Clarke stared back, impassive, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Nia was visually dissecting her.

“I think I see why _Heda_ continues to work with _Skaikru_ ,” she said after a few excruciating moments. “There is much more to _Wanheda_ than people think.”

She almost held her breath. What did she know? What did she see? “Bringing me here might cause a war with _Skaikru_ ,” she said.

“It will be too late for you and _Heda_.” Nia was still looking at her. “And do not think I am not aware of how long the ride from Polis to Arkadia takes. Gathering forces also takes a while. I am giving _Heda_ only part of that time to make a decision. I’m afraid, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , you will be dead long before Arkadia can offer assistance.”

Clarke kept her expression blank. Nia didn’t know about the radio. And if she did, she didn’t know that Lexa knew how to use it.

Nia drew her knife and placed the tip of the blade against Clarke’s throat, where her skin was exposed above her collar. Again, she forced herself not to flinch, even when Nia pulled her collar aside with her other hand in a perversely gentle motion, her fingertips grazing her skin. She gripped the leather thong that carried Jake’s watch and dragged it over her head then dangled it in front of Clarke’s face.

“ _Heda_ would probably recognize your knives. She tends to be observant. But those are easy to steal and don’t prove much. This, however…” she stepped back. “This will tell her that I do, in fact, have you.”

“And? Killing me doesn’t change anything. _Heda_ won’t yield to any demands from you, whether she thinks you have me or not.”

She laughed, but it lacked humor. “You are going to tell me many things about _Heda_ and the Conclave. And you will tell me who her closest advisors are and which clans are most loyal to her.”

“I don’t know any of that.” Clarke somehow managed to keep her tone level. “I only just met the representatives.”

Nia’s smile vanished and again, her knife was at Clarke’s throat. “Do not lie to me.”

“I’m not,” she said, tone still even. “I’m new to the _kongeda_ and _Heda_ only talks about things that _Skaikru_ should know. I don’t even know who her advisors are, except for somebody named Titus. I don’t know what he does, though, and I’ve only seen him a couple of times.” She figured Nia would already know who Titus was, given his status as _Fleimkepa_.

Nia pressed the knife harder against her skin. “Costia said the same things about her lack of knowledge of _Heda_ ’s activities.”

Somehow, Clarke managed to feign confusion. “Who’s that?”

Nia leaned in close. “You are clever, _Wanheda_. But I promise, you will give up your secrets and I will deliver your head to _Leksa kom Trikru_ as I did Costia’s.”

“I don’t know who that is," she said, and she somehow managed to keep her voice steady with the terrible revelation of what Nia had done to Costia and then Lexa. "And I’m not part of _Heda_ ’s inner circles. _Skaikru_ just joined the _kongeda_ , after all. The only people who are going to be worried about me is _Skaikru_ , and _Heda_ can always get another representative from them. So ultimately, what you’re doing here is just trying to start a war with _Skaikru_ in addition to whatever war you’re trying to start with _Heda_.” She paused. “And _Skaikru_ might decide I’m not worth the fight.”

“You have so little faith in your own people?”

“They’ll do what they can for the most people. I’m just one person.”

“But once I am leader of the clans, _Skaikru_ might be very interested in what I’m doing.” She pulled the knife away and studied Clarke again for a long moment and Clarke thought that it might be possible that she was looking right into her soul, so intense was her gaze. She tried to think of anything but Lexa, to prevent herself from betraying anything about their relationship.

“I have people inside Polis,” Nia said softly, “and I know that _Heda_ is far more invested in you than you will say.”

She hoped Nia couldn't see or hear the way her heart was pounding. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, once again sounding clear and unbowed.

“ _Leksa kom Trikru_ is a very different _Heda_ than the few before her, I will admit. But she is weak, because she allows herself to feel, and she has allowed herself to feel for you.” Her eyes seemed to blaze. “Just as she was weak for Costia, so she is weak for you. And she will soon pay for that mistake.” She stared at her for another long moment.

“Take her,” she said abruptly with a wave of her hand and two warriors grabbed her on either side and forced her to walk again, back to the cell where Lora was. One guard opened the door and the other shoved her through and she stumbled but regained her balance. The door closed behind her and she craved a shower to wash away Nia’s cold, probing gaze and the feel of her fingers on her face and neck.

“Are you all right?” Lora asked, voice tight.

“Yeah. Nia wanted to threaten me.” She tried to sound matter-of-fact, but the reality is, Lora was right. Nia might be a bit crazy, which made her unpredictable and even more dangerous. And the worst part was, she knew at least something about her relationship with Lexa.

“Did you see any of the others?”

She guessed she meant the _natrona_. “No. Just Nia and a few _Azgeda_ warriors. She realized something. “Have you seen Ontari?”

“Who?”

“A woman about our age, dark hair. Nia usually keeps her close.”

“No. Nobody like that.”

Clarke remained standing, thinking. Nia needed Ontari to take the flame, so she had to be close by. Even if Nia had sent Ontari to _Azgeda_ a few days ago with the woman who looked like her, she would ensure Ontari’s safety because she needed her nightblood to ensure the validity of her claim to Commander. Was she in the city?

A commotion outside the door interrupted her thoughts and she moved back as it opened and someone else was thrust in. The door closed and the newcomer turned and kicked at the door and she swore.

“Michi?” Lora asked.

“Yeah. So you’re still alive.” She sounded surprised.

“Where’re Jax and Jon?”

Michi turned and kicked the door again and Clarke thought she heard her breath catch, as if she was crying. “I don’t know where Jax is and Nia sent Jon somewhere a few hours ago and he’s not back.”

“Where?” Clarke asked.

“Who is that?”

“It’s Clarke,” Lora said.

“You bitch,” Michi said and Clarke barely managed to step aside as Michi launched herself at her.

“Seriously?” Clarke asked. “Our hands are tied.”

“I don’t care. I will kick the shit out of you.” And she did try to kick her but again Clarke moved out of the way.

“Stop it,” Lora said. “We need her to help us get out of here.”

“Oh, no. No way. We’ll see if Nia will let us go and keep her. She doesn’t need us. But fucking _Wanheader_ or whatever the hell her name is, she needs.”

“You’re assuming Nia will take that deal.” Clarke tried loosening the ties on her wrists again. “She won’t. She’ll kill you, too. You’re liabilities, now. So where did she send Jon?”

“Polis," Michi said, breathing a little hard from her exertions. "She told him to take a message to you and the Commander.”

“What message?”

“I don’t know.”

A thought hit her and she leaned back against the closest wall and groaned softly. “Nia told him to say he was Sanders.”

“What are you talking about?” Michi stayed where she was, much to Clarke’s relief.

“Earlier tonight. One of Lexa’s guards came to the tower to say that a man from _Skaikru_ was at the gates and that he had a message for me or her, depending on which of us was available. Nia had loyalists in the city and they set fires in the marketplace and then attacked. The guard said the man at the gate said he was Sanders.”

“Sanders?” Michi sounded as skeptical as Lora had earlier. “Pretty sure Sanders is dead.”

“It seems most likely. But the point is, I never made it to the gates.” Nia had known to separate her from the tower and she had known that the way to do it was to claim that Sanders was at the gates. “She used Jon as bait, and he probably presented himself as Sanders.”

“So where is he now?”

“If Lexa has him in custody, he’s safe unless he presents himself as a threat.”

“He’ll probably be back soon,” Lora said, placating, but Clarke didn’t believe it. Chances were Nia found a way to kill him so he wouldn’t be able to tell Lexa anything.

“So what are we going to do?” Michi asked, more resigned now.

“What questions did Nia ask you?” Clarke asked as she worked her way around the room again looking for a rough stone or something she could rub the ties on her wrists against.

“She wanted to know about Arkadia, but I wasn’t much help there. She asked about somebody named Roan. And she asked about you and Lexa.”

“That’s what she asked me, too,” Lora said.

“Like I knew any of that. I hadn’t even seen you until our prison cell when you ruined our lives.”

Clarke ignored the jibe. “Did she say anything that might suggest where we are in relation to Polis?”

“No. But I assume we’re close, because when her warriors brought us here, it seemed they backtracked in the direction we’d already come from and it felt like almost as long as we’d been originally walking. And I don’t speak the damn language, so for all I know, she was giving away her entire plan right in front of me. You speak it pretty well,” she added.

“Some,” Clarke said in a much lower voice, hedging. “And it’s better if Nia doesn’t know that. Somebody might reveal something if they think we don’t understand them.”

“What is Nia going to do?” Lora asked.

“She wants to get rid of Lexa and make herself Commander. She may use Ontari as a proxy. She has people in Polis and she’s been attempting to cause disruptions that hurt or kill people. I think she’s been trying to draw Lexa out into the open for an assassination attempt.”

“So that’s what _you_ are.” Michi leaned against a nearby wall and slid to a sitting position. “Bait.”

“That’s what Nia thinks. But Lexa wouldn’t endanger the _kongeda_ for just one person.” Lexa had the needs of hundreds to think about, even though Nia was probably thinking that there was more between them. She was using what had happened to Costia to try to goad Lexa into action. But no matter Lexa’s vow to her, the needs of the many had to be weighed against those of an individual. She clenched her teeth, ignoring the pain it brought. This was like the first time at the mountain, with both of them in what seemed an untenable position and as much as she knew Lexa cared, she was Commander and as much as it hurt, this time Clarke would forgive her if she didn’t come. Too much was at stake.

Slowly, she unclenched her teeth, images of Lexa swearing fealty to her swimming in her mind. Lexa would do everything in her power to help her people and to help her, but she might not be able to do both. She bit back a groan. Why hadn’t she stayed in the tower? She had played right into Nia’s hands, and as a result, Lexa had to make impossible choices, either of which would hurt them both terribly.

“So what’s our play?” Michi asked.

“Nia is going to send a message to Lexa, probably at first light. She’ll give her a set time to make a decision.”

“And?” Lora’s voice, soft and worried.

“We have to get out of here before that time is up.”

“You don’t think Lexa will bargain with Nia.” Michi muttered something that sounded like a curse. “You might want to rethink your support of her.” She snorted. “Here you were, all ready to kill Jon to protect her and you don’t think she’ll come for you.”

Clarke slid to a sitting position, too, a few feet away. “Lexa has to consider the needs of her people and the _kongeda_ as a whole. If she can do those things and rescue us, she will.”

“But you’re not sure,” Michi pressed.

“I can’t say. I don’t even know what Nia’s demands are going to be. But I can guarantee that once she sends them, we’re dead weight.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Lora asked.

“We don’t have much time.”

Nobody said anything for a while, and Clarke’s statement settled like fog.

“First light?” Michi broke the silence. “Why wouldn’t she send a message now?”

“ _Azgeda_ doesn’t know these woods very well and if Lexa knows I’m missing, she may have already sent scouts into the woods. Nia won’t take that chance. She’ll send someone at first light, and make it obvious that it’s a message, which is easier to do when it’s light out.”

“Or she could prove you wrong and send someone now,” Michi retorted.

“She has too much at stake. Plus, she’ll most likely give Lexa a set time to respond. Probably before nightfall or first light the next day.” Though Clarke suspected no matter what Nia told Lexa, she wouldn’t honor it. She closed her eyes and wondered how long they had before dawn. “Get some sleep,” she said. “We can’t do anything right now. We should know more tomorrow.”

“What the hell? Sleep? We’re probably going to die in the next few hours and you want to sleep?”

“Michi,” Lora said. “She’s right. What are you going to do? Even if you got your hands loose, where the hell are you going to go? Clarke knows how these people operate.”

“Don’t tell me you’re defending her,” Michi snapped.

“I’m thinking about what our best chances are for getting out of here. And it’s not stomping around in here complaining. That’s a waste of energy.”

Michi said nothing in return and Clarke almost felt her surprise at Lora’s statement. Instead, she grumbled and Clarke heard her moving around until she settled into silence.

Her jaw still throbbed and her head ached, but she forced herself to relax, wincing when she moved because of where she’d been kicked in the side. Another huge bruise, no doubt, but she didn’t think anything was broken. Fortunately. Finally she let herself really think about Lexa, and the time they’d spent together. What they’d built in spite of everything made her ache in ways both pleasant and painful, because she knew, now, what she was feeling for Lexa and there was a good chance she wouldn’t be able to tell her.

She stifled a sigh and a tear tracked down her cheek as she thought about what Lexa would feel and think when she found out Nia had kidnapped her and the last thing Clarke wanted her to have to do was choose between her and the _kongeda_. Maybe Nia had counted on that, too, on forcing Lexa into an impossible choice that would cost her no matter which one she made. All she could do was hope that Lexa might be playing this scenario several moves ahead, too, but she also knew that she would have to do everything she could to help her, and to get herself out of this no matter what it took.

If she could get her hands free, there might be a shot at it, since she still had two mini-mines in her pockets. And Lexa knew how to use the radio.

There might be hope yet.

###

 

The scraping of the door woke her up and she steeled herself for a new threat as a male warrior came in. From the dull gray of the light in the cell it had to be just after dawn.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” he said in a soft, deep voice. “Come with me.”

Clarke let him help her up, since she was stiff. She glanced at Michi and Lora, who watched with barely concealed consternation, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t get to the mini-mines in her pockets and even if she could, she had no idea how many warriors were around or where they were. So she followed him out of the room but instead of going back to where Nia was he took her up a flight of grimy, leaf-littered steps and they emerged in forest.

“The latrine is this way,” he said, and he walked next to her, his hand held out as if he was going to steady her if she stumbled. He seemed about Wash’s age though he looked a lot like Lincoln. His facial scars were slightly different than some of the _Azgeda_ warriors she had seen and he kept his scalp shaved and his beard and mustache neatly trimmed.

The latrine turned out to be a short, shallow trench but Clarke didn’t care. She had gotten used to conditions like this. To her surprise, he untied her hands, gave her a waterskin and a cloth, then motioned at the trench. When he was sure that she was actually going to use it and not run away, he turned to give her some privacy.

“Thank you,” she said to him when she finished, opting not to speak Trigedasleng. It was an advantage for her if they thought she couldn’t understand them. She handed the waterskin back and he slung it over his shoulder then took a small jar out of his pouch and opened it.

“For your face,” he said as he motioned at her injured jaw.

“Why? She’s going to kill me whether I’m wounded or not.”

“It will help with the pain,” he pressed gently.

She couldn’t argue with that. Her face had been home to a dull ache since she’d been punched.

He approached her and dipped two fingers into the jar.

“Let me smell it,” she said, taking a step back, and realized that she was pushing her luck with the enemy, making demands, but he held the jar up for her to sniff. It smelled like the salve Balta used. Satisfied, she nodded and he gently applied it to her jaw, though the pressure hurt a bit.

“Have you other wounds I should attend to?”

“Not really,” she said, though her ribs hurt from where she had been kicked but there was no way she was taking her shirt off for him or anybody else in _Azgeda_.

“Good.” He put a little more salve on her jaw. “Listen to me, _Klark kom Skaikru_. I am a friend of _Trikru_.”

She froze, shocked, as he finished with her face.

“I will treat your wounds and we can speak as I do so. Keep your voice down.”

She nodded.

“Again, you are certain you have no other injuries?”

She lifted her shirt despite her earlier reticence, wanting to buy him time to keep talking.

“Hmm,” he said when he saw what she knew had to be a substantial bruise from the warrior’s kick the night before. “Is anything broken?”

“Doesn’t seem that way, but you’d probably better check.”

“This may hurt,” he said and he smoothed salve along her ribs. She hissed between her teeth but didn’t flinch away. “I am a supporter of Roan,” he continued. “Nia lost my loyalty many years ago, but in order to protect my family, I have had to make compromises. I’m through with that, and I will help you because doing so will help _Heda_ and ultimately, Roan.”

Clarke gritted her teeth as he slathered more salve on and worked it as carefully as he could into her skin. His story sounded like many others she had heard about Nia.

“Just before I came to retrieve you this morning, Nia sent a messenger to Polis with your necklace. She is going to demand that _Heda_ meet her outside the city to accept a challenge.”

She stifled a groan, though she wasn’t surprised.

“The messenger will tell _Heda_ that if she does not leave Polis to accept the challenge, Nia’s forces will poison the city’s water.”

She stared at him, horrified. “How?”

“Nia has more loyalists than many think. She has managed to put a hundred into Polis. The water comes from an underground cavern, but Nia will have people at different places throughout the city who will act in concert.”

“So there will be poison from multiple sources.”

“Yes.”

“Well, she no doubt lost some of those last night,” she muttered, though she still worried that Lexa had been wounded in whatever skirmishes broke out during the fires.

“Not all are _Azgeda_. Some are with _Delfikru_ , hidden throughout the city. A few may be with other clans, as well.”

She bit her lip, frustrated. “They’re not loyalists to Nia. They’re opportunists, just as Danyel is.”

“That may be, but they are willing to fight for him and Nia and they have no love for _Heda_.”

“How many are _Delfikru_?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps thirty.” He rubbed a little salve on her back. He must’ve found another bruise because it hurt and she clamped her teeth together, but it still hurt to do that, too.

“How many warriors are here, in this camp?” she managed to ask.

“Twenty,” he said softly. “But there are two others among them who are not completely loyal to Nia.”

“Is Ontari here?”

“She was yesterday at dawn. But then she left with ten warriors. I do not know where they were going.”

The city? Another camp? Nia would want her close, after all. “Does Nia have any more bombs from the mountain?” Was Nia also using the bombs and the fires as a way to get her people into position to poison the water? Distractions everywhere.

“I’m not certain, but I don’t think so.” He stepped back and Clarke lowered her shirt. “Because I have been in her service for years, she pays me no mind when I am near. Yesterday, she sent one of the _natrona_ to the gates of Polis. He was to tell the guards there that he was…” he hesitated.

“Sanders?”

“Yes. That’s the name. She poisoned him before he left, and said that once he delivered the message, someone would provide an antidote.”

“Did he come back?”

“No. He is probably dead because Nia would not be so magnanimous as to provide an antidote, regardless of what she told him.” He said it matter-of-factly, but with a trace of bitterness.

“Do you know anything of the other _natrona_? His name is Jax.”

“He is the messenger to Polis today. A warrior took him via horse. I suspect he will receive the same treatment the other did. He is expendable. Nia would not want _Heda_ to use him to come to this place.”

She fought an urge to bolt, find Nia, and shove a mini-mine into her mouth.

“There is something else, _Wanheda_ , that the messenger is instructed to tell _Heda_.”

She waited, dreading it.

“If _Heda_ accepts the challenge, you will die.”

Clarke exhaled, stomach sinking as if she had swallowed stones. Lexa had to accept the challenge because if she didn’t, it would appear weak to the clans and it would jeopardize the _kongeda_ as well as the population of Polis. But the price she would pay—that they both would pay—when she did settled on her shoulders like the mountain had, with an implacable, overwhelming, and devastating weight. “You’re sure this is the message _Heda_ will receive?”

“Yes.”

“How long is she giving _Heda_ to respond?”

“The message instructs _Heda_ to meet her at a specific place at first light tomorrow."

“Do you know where that is?”

“No.”

“When will she poison the water?”

“The messenger will say if _Heda_ does not present herself at the meeting place by first light, it will begin.”

Clarke didn’t believe it. Nia would start earlier, but the message would also tip Lexa off and she would try to locate the forces Nia had deployed.

“And now I must take you back before there is suspicion. I will, however, come later today, when I should know more about what Nia plans to do before first light tomorrow.”

She nodded, heart in her throat, and turned around and put her hands behind her back so he could bind them. When he finished, she realized that they were much, much looser. “How long before Jax gets to Polis?”

“Not long. He was taken on a horse and will be dropped off outside the city. He is probably already there.”

So they were close. Within a few miles. Maybe even one or two. She didn’t speak again and when he returned her to the cell, he retrieved Lora, fear evident in her eyes.

“It’s okay,” Clarke said. “Bathroom break.”

She relaxed, though her expression said she wasn’t entirely convinced, but she went with him.

“What’s the plan?” Michi asked from where she sat on the floor.

“Not sure yet. But we’re close to Polis.”

“How do you know?”

“I overheard a few things,” she said, deciding it was best to ensure her benefactor remained secret. She glanced around. Now that the sun was nearly up, there was more light in the room. Another metal door set in the far wall drew her attention, but Michi spoke before she could get a closer look.

“Did you hear anything about Jon?”

Clark hesitated but it was enough. Michi's breath caught and she looked away.

“Nia sent him to Polis,” Clarke said. “She told him to say his name was Sanders.”

“So there’s a chance—”

“Nia had him poisoned before he left.”

Michi looked at her again, angry. “Why?”

“Probably to make sure he didn’t try to get away.”

“He wouldn’t have, because I’m still here.”

Clarke almost felt the raw wound in Michi’s voice. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “She promised him an antidote if he delivered the message. But the guards I heard said that wasn’t something she would do.”

“But Lexa’s warriors might have been able to help him.”

“There’s a chance of that, but depending on the type of poison and how much…” she let her voice trail off and Michi said nothing, only stared at her boots, jaw working. “When we get out of here, we’ll find out for sure,” Clarke said.

She barked a harsh laugh. “When? Not if? You’re deluding yourself.”

Clarke didn’t respond and instead she thought about Jax, and what Lexa would think about the message from Nia. She already knew what Lexa would do—what she _had_ to do. If she were in the same position, she would make the same choice, and she knew that Lexa would understand.

But something burned deep within, something that told her Lexa would have some kind of alternative play, something that Nia wasn’t expecting. Unfortunately, Clarke was in no position to help just yet, but she was by no means powerless. The minimal weight of the mini-mines in her pockets provided hope, as did knowing they were reasonably close to Polis, and that there weren’t that many _Azgeda_ forces here with Nia.

Of course, there was also the chance that the warrior who had left her ties loose was lying to her. She slid to a sitting position, thinking. Nia wouldn’t set her up like that because she needed her to remain under control so that she could kill her in full view of Lexa. That was ultimately what this was about. Not just a power grab by a corrupt and greedy tyrant, but also a way to break Lexa. For Nia, this was personal, too, so she wouldn’t waste time on playing spy games with her, because she was simply too valuable an asset for her ultimate attempt to destroy Lexa’s spirit.

The door opened and Lora entered. The warrior helped Michi to her feet and took her out, too. Michi didn't look at her.

“What is she pissed about now?” Lora asked

“I heard some guards talking that Nia forced Jon to take a message to the gates of Polis.”

“And?”

“She had him poisoned before he left and claimed that after he gave the message, there would be an antidote.”

Lora’s eyes widened and she mouthed a silent “oh.”

“There could be a chance that Lexa’s warriors were able to help him.”

“But you don’t think so.”

“I don’t know. I’m guessing Nia isn’t the type to leave loose ends.”

“Shit,” she said softly. “Did you hear anything about Jax?”

She nodded. “I think he’s being used as the messenger this morning.”

“So he’ll probably—”

“Yeah.”

“Shit,” she said again. “I mean, I kind of hate him for being such an asshole, but…” she drew a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said, and she was.

Lora sat down next to her. “We’re going to die, aren’t we?”

“I’m going to do everything in my power to prevent that.”

She sighed. “I want to believe you.”

“Then do. Because the only other option is to give up.”

Lora didn’t respond and Clarke thought about possibilities. She could easily get out of the bonds on her wrists, thanks to her unknown benefactor, and she had two bombs. Plus, she knew roughly how many warriors were at this place, and that it wasn’t too far from Polis. But right now, it wasn’t the best idea to blow the door and make a run for it. Besides, she wanted to ensure that at least one of the mini-mines created a fire to help Lexa locate her.

The door opened and Michi came in. She sat down against a different wall. After a while, she spoke.

“So we’re just going to sit here and wait to die?”

“Shut up,” Lora said, and Clarke looked at her, surprised. “If you go off without some kind of plan, yeah, we _will_ die. And besides, what the hell can we do right now? We’re tied up in a locked room with a bunch of hostile people around. Don’t be an idiot.”

Michi didn’t respond.

“Ideas?” Lora said to Clarke.

“Keep your voice down,” she said and Michi looked up at her then, with a display of supreme reluctance, she moved closer so that the three were sitting close together against one wall.

“Michi, I didn’t get a chance to tell you this, but Jax is the messenger Nia sent to Polis this morning. Chances are, she’ll do the same thing to him that she did to Jon.”

She groaned and hung her head.

“The message says that Lexa has to meet Nia at first light tomorrow somewhere to either accept a challenge to her position as Commander or not.”

“If she doesn’t?” Lora asked.

“Nia says she’ll poison Polis’s water.”

“Damn. She _is_ crazy,” Lora whispered.

“If she does accept the challenge, Nia’s going to kill me.”

That got Michi’s full attention. “That’s a lose-lose all around,” she muttered.

“Lexa will accept the challenge,” Clarke continued. “She can’t risk that Nia is bluffing about the water and she can’t show weakness to the clans. Plus, Nia is a threat and not accepting a challenge will not eliminate it.”

“I thought you and Lexa were besties,” Mishi said and Lora gave her a warning look.

“She has to make the best decision for the most people.” Clarke forced herself not to inject any emotion into her statement. “I understand that.”

“So if the situation was reversed, you’d let her die?” Michi frowned.

“I woudn’t _let_ her die. I’d try to find a solution that would prevent the water from being poisoned _and_ keep her alive. Lexa will explore every possibility, too, but given the choices, she will accept the challenge.”

“Hardcore,” Michi murmured.

“Look, there are no good choices here,” she said, keeping her voice to a whisper. "So we have to work with what we know. And what I know is that Lexa is already considering possibilities and probably has been since last night. I also know that we can’t do shit right now, in this cell. But I’ll probably know more later on today.”

Michi’s eyes glinted with suspicion. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you’ll need to trust me and follow my lead.”

She snorted. “Oh, yeah. Trust you. I’d show you a pretty nasty brand on my hand, but unfortunately, I can’t, given that I’m all tied up.”

“You really need to shut up,” Lora snapped. “Clarke knows these people better than we do, and she knows the politics better than we do. She’s the best chance we have, and if you don’t want in, then get your ass back to that other wall.”

Michi looked like she’d been slapped.

“Hate on me when we’re out of here,” Clarke said.

“Like that’ll happen,” Michi muttered.

“Hey.” Clarke got up and moved so she was on Michi’s other side. “I don’t care how much you don’t like me. I don’t even care if you hate me so much you could kill me. What I need to know is that when we get ready to do something here, you’re all in, and that you’ll follow instructions. If you can’t do that, I will leave your ass here. You can take your chances with Nia.”

Michi glared at her.

“I’m in,” Lora said, and it seemed to take some of the wind out of Michi.

“Yeah. Fine. So am I. Clarke's the lesser of the evils right now.”

“I’ll take it.” Clarke pulled her wrists free of the loosened bonds. “I think we have a little time,” she said, “so let’s see if we can find anything useful in here.”

"How -" Michi started but then clamped her mouth shut and moved so Clarke could untie her, too.

When Lora was free, she took a position by the door as a lookout. With any luck, they might find a way to escape or they could come up with a plan that would allow Clarke to put the mini-mines to good use. Besides, doing something felt better than doing nothing. _I'm sorry, Lexa_ , _for getting us both into this_. If she survived, there were a few things she wanted to say to to her.

After she helped rid the world of Nia.

 

1 _Em don kok au_ : She resisted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! So here's a twofer, friends. Damn, Nia is, like, really super horrible. But she's so horrible that she's good at turning people against her, so Clarke may have a friend on the inside after all. And of course Clarke is having Clarke angst because she knows Lexa will have to choose to accept the challenge, even though it's Clarke at stake. Still, she has hope that Lexa will be able to figure something out on the outside while she tries to do the same on the inside...Clarke is, after all, Lexa's boo and when something threatens Clarke...well, I would not want to be anywhere near the receiving end of Lexa's rage monster.
> 
> Anyway, I'm going to try to have another installment up the weekend of May 12, but as I said in the notes to chapter 60, I have this publishing company I just launched with my colleagues and we're a bit busy right now. Heh. Don't worry. I'll keep everybody posted if I have to shift the schedule.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kudos and comments. Really appreciate it and I hope you're enjoying this ride as much as I have. If you want to talk more, or whatever, hit me up at [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquett.tumblr.com). I dig chatting, so just drop me a note or whatevs.
> 
> The music that accompanied me on this chapter: The album "Disintegration," by The Cure


	63. The Threats Among Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is dealing with the aftermath of Clarke's kidnapping, which includes extracting information every way she can and coordinating with forces Nia may not have counted on.

“ _Heda_ , is this wise?” Titus used the tone from her Novitiate days, the one that had soothed her in the past. Tonight, it only irritated her.

“In what sense?” she asked as she removed her knives and unbuckled her sword harness outside Danyel’s cell.

“He may attempt to attack you.”

“If I’m lucky,” she retorted as she placed her swords on the bench and took her coat off. She wanted him to attack her, because then she could open the vein of rage and worry that coursed through her, and make someone suffer for Clarke’s disappearance, make someone bleed. For every bruise and cut and wound they inflicted on her, for every bit of pain and fear they caused her, for every one of Clarke’s ghosts they stirred within her, Lexa would extract payment in blood.

She was done with patience.

Done with Nia’s corruption and greed, done with her cruelty and chaos, done with the swath of destruction she had cut through her own people and the clans of others.

Done.

The time for diplomacy was over. And she refused to think that Clarke might be gone from her forever, that Nia could have simply killed her and would deliver whatever was left of her to the tower as she had Costia.

She refused to think that.

Refused.

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus said. “Danyel said nothing to me. I do not think he will to you, either.”

She didn’t respond and moved toward the door.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said again.

“ _Fleimkepa_ ,” Indra said, warning him off, and Lexa met her gaze. She understood, as Titus could not, that Lexa the warrior was about to enter Danyel’s cell, not _Heda_.

One of the guards at the door handed her his torch then they stood aside and she entered alone and weaponless with the slow deliberation of a council decision and closed the door behind her with the finality that came with the making of that decision. She placed the torch in a bracket by the door and it cast wavering shadows across the ceiling.

Danyel watched her from the bench along the back wall, surprised and wary. She positioned herself in the middle of the cell and hooked her thumbs on her belt. She studied him, saw the nervous tapping of the fingers of his left hand on the bench’s surface.

“I had many interesting conversations this night, _Danyel kom Delfikru_ ,” she said after just the right amount of time to make him uncomfortable enough that he dropped his gaze. “I spoke with _Azgeda_ warriors who have no loyalty to Nia and have come to realize she does them no favors and nothing to earn their service.”

He said nothing, but he gripped the edge of the bench like a drowning man might cling to a piece of wood in a flood.

“I know Nia has forces in the city. And I know some of them are from other clans, including _Delfikru_.” She regarded him with barely concealed contempt. “I know you poisoned the mind of your brother’s son with your quest for power, and that you have used him in ways no proud warrior’s son should be.”

He looked away, but his grip on the bench seemed to tighten, if such were possible.

“I know you have been colluding with Nia since the first time I took allied forces to the mountain, and I know you have allowed yourself to fall prey to petty jealousies when you were not chosen as _heda kom Delfikru_ following your brother’s death.”

He tried to hold her gaze, but couldn’t and stared at his knees instead.

“And I know Titus tried to speak with you earlier and that you told him nothing.”

He didn’t respond and deliberately looked away from her then back. She waited the time it took him to breathe twice, and then she jerked him off the bench with one hand and punched him in the face with the other, a solid, satisfying connection of her fist with his jaw. She punched him again before he had time to register the first and she let go of his shirt at the same time so that he slumped to the floor.

“ _Gyon op_ ,”1 she said, voice harsh.

He gained his hands and knees, and spat onto the floor, a mixture of blood and saliva.

She gave him room. “ _Gona kom gona_ _nau_.” 2

He looked at her, and something shifted in his eyes. Yes, he would fight her. He pushed to his feet and lunged in a powerful motion but she dodged and gave him a push as he rushed past. His momentum made him crash into the wall but it also seemed to galvanize him because he recovered quickly and came back swinging, smooth, trained movements. But even though he was an experienced warrior, he was predictable in hand-to-hand combat and she deflected most of his attempts to wound her. Within a few moments, his expression turned from contempt and anger to uncertainty.

He adjusted his approach and tried to draw her in, probably so he could put her in some kind of hold but Lexa had no intention of losing this fight and she again ducked though a couple of his swings landed on her shoulders. She barely noticed, and instead launched a counterattack, her fists connecting in a seemingly neverending series of blows with his chest, abdomen, and face and every time they did, every time they connected with bone and flesh, it fueled the rage that lurked just beneath her surface.

She drove him again to the wall, where he tried to rally and push her away, but she danced back just out of his reach then advanced just as quickly with more punches, focused on one thing and one thing only—to beat him to the ground.

Again he managed to push her away and even land another punch of his own before he kicked at her. She caught his leg and twisted it to the side, causing him to lose his balance and he fell to the cell’s floor.

“ _Gyon op_ ,” she said, voice rasping between her teeth. “ _Gyon op, gona_.” She stepped back, giving him room to stand. He hauled himself to his feet and lunged, as he had a few minutes earlier. And again her rage uncoiled and fueled her speed and strength and she pummeled him until his back slammed against the wall and he raised his arms to protect his face as he slipped down it to the floor. “ _Noumou_ ,” he finally managed to gasp out. “ _Noumou_. _Beja_.” 3

Lexa stopped mid-punch at the plea, trembling as anger and adrenaline continued to circulate through her blood. With a supreme effort, she lowered her fists and stepped away, breathing heavily, awash in battle fury and frustration. She stared at the ceiling and forced herself to inhale and exhale slowly, to focus only on that, only on calm and control.

After the tide within receded, she looked at him, still panting on the floor near the wall, grimacing in pain. She gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him to his feet and dragged him back to the bench where she sat him roughly down. He leaned back against this wall, still panting, mouth and chin coated with blood.

“That was for those who were injured in Nia’s explosions and fires,” she said. “You will pay a much higher price for those who died.”

He looked up at her through his swollen eye and she punched him again, knocking him to the side.

“And that was for Mykal, whose life you have destroyed with your petty machinations and treachery.”

He grunted in pain and spat more blood onto the floor.

“You have betrayed your clan,” she said, and the words were icy in her mouth. “Betrayed the _kongeda_. Betrayed me. And you betray the memory of your brother.”

He avoided her gaze and she turned and moved to the door.

“Nia will see you destroyed,” he said, half-wheezing.

She looked back at him. “Are you willing to place that bet?”

He dropped his gaze again.

“As I thought.” She grabbed the torch and left. A guard closed the door behind her and slid the bar into place.

“Do you require a healer, _Heda_?” Titus asked. He was standing in the same place he had been when she entered the cell.

She started to retort but he interrupted.

“For Danyel,” he said, tone bland.

Indra took the torch and handed her a cloth and she wiped the blood off her knuckles and the backs of her hands. Some was hers, but most was his.

“No,” she said.

The guards at the door exchanged approving glances.

“I would see Mykal now.”

“Do you wish me to accompany you?” Indra asked as she handed the torch back to her.

“No.” She went to the next cell and a guard unbarred the door for her and another opened it.

Like Danyel had been, Mykal was on the bench in his cell against the back wall, dressed in loose ragged trousers and a too-big shirt, clothing the guards had clearly scrounged for him, in case he had sewn weapons into his other clothes.

The door shut behind her and she put the torch in the bracket near it. Mykal looked past her shoulder at it then at her. She wiped her knuckles again, the blood on the cloth apparent, even in the bounce of the shadows from the torch’s flame. Her earlier rage had calmed to a soft pulse of anger.

Wash had already briefed her on what Mykal had said to Clarke earlier. A believer, Wash said, but not in the traditional sense because he hadn’t had any contact with Nia. Instead, his views were probably filtered through Danyel. A young man, barely out of his early years, looking to feel important.

She knew this type, and she knew that men like Danyel preyed on them. Willing lackeys, full of bravado with some, but when challenged in certain ways, quick to fold.

He watched her but remained silent.

She finished wiping her knuckles, letting him sit in his own tension. “Many _Azgeda_ warriors abandoned the fight this night,” she said. “Those we captured all told me the same story.” She looped the cloth over her belt. “Would you like to hear it?”

He frowned and glanced away.

“They told me that they have no loyalty to Nia, that she sent them into the streets tonight to fight for reasons they didn’t understand, and to die for a cause that has not been made clear.”

He didn’t meet her gaze.

“Even now,” she continued in her conversational tone, “ _Azgeda_ warriors who fought me in the streets and surrendered are aiding _kongeda_ forces in a search of the city. They are tired, they told me, of Nia’s machinations not only against other clans, but against her own people.”

He hunched and crossed his arms, looking for all the world like a sullen youth bested in a game or a contest. It might have been funny if circumstances weren’t so deadly serious.

“I can almost understand why you did the things Danyel instructed you to do. He became a father to you after you lost yours, and that is what dutiful sons do. They help their fathers.”

His grip on himself seemed to tighten and his lips were set into a hard, thin line.

“But I cannot excuse your actions. You are not a child any longer, and have your own mind. I can only assume that you did not think beyond what your uncle told you. And that is both weak and lazy.”

He chewed on his lower lip, but refused to look at her. Again, she let the silence between them stretch until he started fidgeting.

“Perhaps you were too young to remember your father, and the kind of man he was.”

“Don’t you talk about my father,” he snapped with the belligerence of a child.

“He was a good and honorable man,” she continued, ignoring his outburst. “A strong warrior and leader, and a man trusted by your clan.”

“Stop it,” he said, but his voice cracked.

“Your father did what he had to do to protect _Delfikru_. And your clan mourned him as was proper, and made sure his children were provided for and taken care of. And then they chose their next leader.”

He hugged himself even tighter, if such was possible.

“Some men are leaders,” she said. “Others are warriors. Still others are hunters or merchants or farmers. There is no shame in those professions. All are useful and provide things to clan and family.” She watched him for a few moments, and though his head was down, she heard him suck in a breath, raw with tears he was fighting hard not to shed. But she wasn’t finished.

“Your uncle was once a strong warrior in his own right. And he served his people well, for much of his life. But he allowed jealousy to poison his judgment, and he sought revenge for slights that only he perceived.”

She watched him for a while, feeling only a strange juxtaposition of hot anger and cold focus, and not explicitly directed at him. He was but a tool used to further someone else’s interests.

“Your actions cost lives, _Mykal kom Delfikru_ ,” she said. “Were you an impressionable child, you might find mercy from the council. But you are not.”

He finally raised his head and met her gaze. A tear tracked down his cheek.

“You have betrayed your clan, the _kongeda_ , and me.”

His lower lip trembled with an unexpressed sob.

“You have also betrayed the memory of your father.”

He hissed between his teeth and more tears ran down his cheeks.

She stood for a few moments. Izik would not be able to protect him from his deeds, and it wasn’t worth her time or energy to finish him here. She had doled out enough death this night. Her decision made, she turned to leave.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said, voice cracking.

She looked at him.

“I only had the two bombs.” He wiped at his face. “Danyel told me what to do with them. He said it was all Nia had, so I had to make sure I did it right.”

She said nothing.

“Danyel said Nia is planning to do something with the water in Polis.”

Lexa maintained her silence, but her thoughts raced. Poison? But how would she get enough to put into the water supply so that it would have a mass effect?

“I don’t know how, but he said there were a hundred loyalists in the city.”

“Are _Delfikru_ among them?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Will you provide their names?”

He hesitated and she moved toward the door.

“ _Sha_ ,” he said. “I will. They’re helping with the water supply, since they know the city better than most of the _Azgeda_ here. Danyel said that there were different places in the city that the water supply could be accessed, and that Nia was going to put warriors at each.”

“And then?”

“There’s a signal.”

“What signal?”

“I don’t know. Danyel didn’t say. But when they see it, they’re supposed to put poison into the water.”

She regarded him, hunched on the bench, looking much smaller than she’d ever seen him. “If you had to guess, what do you think that signal would be?”

Surprise glinted in his eyes momentarily, as if he couldn’t believe she had asked his opinion. “Something all could see. A fire in the tower, maybe. Or smoke.”

“A bomb?”

He frowned. “Danyel said Nia only had two.”

She could have lied, Lexa thought. “Who else does Nia have in the tower?”

He gave her one name, a servant with _Sankru_ who had been with Hamza for years and the pulse of anger beat a little harder within her. If Hamza was part of this plot as well, there would be no swift end to her wrath. And given the distractions Nia had orchestrated in the tower, the servant could easily access the top floors and make some kind of signal, probably with flames, as Mykal suggested.

“I expect that you will provide the names of the _Delfikru_ who are aiding Nia in the city, as you said you would. If you do not, I will spare _heda Izik_ the effort of hearing your accounting.” Her meaning was clear, and he glanced at the bloodied cloth hanging on her belt, then at her face and nodded.

She removed the torch from the bracket and left the cell. “Wash,” she said as she handed the torch to another guard. “Mykal has names of _Delfikru_ who are aiding Nia in the city. Get them. If he does not cooperate, inform me.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” he said.

“Titus.” She turned to where he stood, stone-faced.

“ _Heda_.”

“I would see you, Indra, and Balta.”

He bowed his head. “ _Sha_. _Oso na gonot daunder raun_.” 4

“ _Os_. _Indra, sad tu shilkru in_.” 5

She nodded and moved among the gathered warriors.

When Balta appeared, the party descended to a level of the dungeons where there were no prisoners. Once inside an empty cell with the guards outside, Lexa looked at them. “Mykal has provided more information. Let us determine how to proceed.”

 

1 _Gyon op_ : get up  
2 _Gona kom gona_ _nau_ : warrior to warrior now  
3 _Noumou_ … _Beja_ : No more…please  
4 _Oso na gonot daunder_ * _raun_ : We [includes listener] will go below [this form of go, “gonot raun,” implies urgency; also, Peterson doesn’t seem to have a term for “below,” so I made one up, derived from “down there.”]  
5 _Os_. _Indra, sad tu shilkru in_ : Good. Indra, choose two guards

 

###

Lexa moved among the wounded in the tower, and offered quiet words of encouragement to those who were conscious. She had already dispatched messengers to the villages of the warriors who had died in the skirmishes a few hours earlier. These things took time, she knew, and there wasn’t much of that available, but she was _Heda_ , and it was important that she acknowledge those who had suffered injury in Nia’s attacks and those who had died, not only for herself, but for all.

Tam joined her on this errand. Lexa had left her guards in the corridor, and she moved quickly but deliberately until she arrived at the thin mattress of a young woman, her head and hands swathed in bandages. One of her eyes was covered, but the other was open, and when she saw Lexa, she tried to get up.

“ _No gyon op_ ,”6 Lexa said as she squatted next to the mattress and placed her hand gently on her shoulder.

She settled with a sigh of relief.

“Are you in pain?” she asked.

“ _No_ , _Heda_. The healers check on me often.”

“ _Os_. I have alerted your family in the city.”

“ _Mochof_.” She closed her eye and sighed again.

“It may be a while before anyone can see you, but they are aware of your injuries.”

She nodded.

“Do you remember anything that happened?”

She looked at Lexa again. “ _Sha_.” Her jaw worked and she frowned. “ _Heda_ , it was _Mykal kom Delfikru_ , in the clothing of a serving girl. I recognized him as he was putting something in a basket in the hallway where the explosions occurred. He saw me, but then the bomb…” she trailed off.

“Did you see _Hamza kom Sankru_ before that?”

“ _Sha_. He was in his quarters, but the door was open. He usually does that, though, so people can come and speak with him.”

Not necessarily the actions of a man trying to hide something, but things weren’t always what they seemed. “ _Mochof_ ,” she said to finish the conversation. The servant was clearly exhausted. She straightened. Mykal had been trying to locate her to silence her, as Wash said Clarke observed. How fortunate it was that Clarke had gone to check on the wounded. Locating Mykal may have helped ruin some of Nia’s plans. Another cold spike of worry twisted in her gut, a feeling she had been carrying since she received the news that Clarke was gone. Still, she felt deep down that Clarke was still alive, if only because Nia needed Lexa nearby to watch her die, this time, unlike what had happened to Costia.

At some point, Lexa knew, Nia would send a message. Until then, she would continue to make preparations based on the information her forces continued to gather.

She made her way back to the corridor, stepping carefully between the mattresses of the wounded, the weight of Clarke’s radio in her pocket. She carried it as both talisman and tech, and if all went as she hoped, Raven should be contacting her soon. She was willing to bet that Nia didn’t realize that Lexa had the device and that she knew how to use it, which substantially cut the time for a _Skaikru_ response.

Indra stood with two guards, waiting. Lexa nodded and they went to the stairwell and made the long climb to Lexa’s quarters. Indra and the guards with her searched them, and also searched Clarke’s, Lexa standing in the doorway gripping the hilt of one of her knives, chest so tight she could barely breathe. She expected Clarke to appear from the balcony at any moment, a smile hovering on her lips and her gaze easily breaching her walls, as it always did.

But the balcony doors remained closed and the air close and still, even with Indra and the guards moving throughout. She clenched her teeth and vowed that she would see Clarke returned to these quarters, and she would see her on that balcony again, warm and vibrant, teasing and challenging, the woman who knew her in ways others couldn’t, who could speak to her without words and who carried part of her heart.

She turned away and supervised while Indra and the guards searched the other rooms on the floor until Indra allowed her to enter her own quarters. The guards remained in the corridor but Indra accompanied her inside and lit some of the candles with her torch before she waited while Lexa divested herself of her weaponry again. She left the radio on the table and went into the bathroom to clean up and reapply her facepaint.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said just outside the doorway. “The radio—”

Lexa had joined her before she could finish her sentence. Indra held the radio out to her. It hissed but someone was trying to speak. She took it and went to the balcony.

“—Lexa?”

“Yes. Here.”

“It’s Raven. I’m putting Bellamy on.”

She waited, marveling in spite of the circumstances at this bit of tech.

“Lexa?”

“Yes.”

“It’s Bellamy. We’re about two hours away.” I’m going to establish some watchpoints about three miles outside Polis. I’ve got twenty for that, and we have guns. Raven also has a few supplies of her own.”

She smiled in spite of herself. “Good. I have some new information. Nia may have forces in place within the city that will attempt to poison the water.”

Pause. “When?”

“That remains to be seen.”

“So what’s your plan for that?”

“Nia has not sent word yet about the conditions she wishes me to meet in terms of Clarke. Most likely, she will do so at first light. I have my own forces searching the city now for hers. _Skaikru_ need not concern itself with that unless I think it necessary. For now, establish the perimeter west. I have forces south of Polis and _Roan kom Azgeda_ will be aiding to the east.” The north she wasn’t as concerned about, since that led to the Dead Zone.

A soft hiss answered her at first. Then, “Are you sure about _Azgeda_ involvement in this?” He sounded skeptical and though she hadn’t dealt with him as much as Clarke had, she sensed he required extra convincing.

“Roan seeks entrance into the _kongeda_. He is on his way to Polis and has forces searching for Nia because he seeks to challenge her to reclaim the throne.”

“So he’s okay with you taking his mother on?”

“No matter how Nia is removed, it frees the throne for him.”

“When will he be there?”

“Perhaps midday, but more likely later, toward evening.” Regardless of when he arrived, if Nia attempted to go east, she would encounter him, and most likely would not be prepared to deal with a challenge from her son. No, she wanted a challenge that would give her access to the position of Commander, and Lexa was counting on her to remain predictable in that regard while she worked a few other strategies around it.

“How are you on batteries?” Bellamy asked after an extended silence.

“I have what Raven sent most recently and have not yet had to use them.”

“Okay. Have you figured out where Nia might be?”

“There’s a possibility she is in Polis, but since we have not found her yet, I am more inclined to think she is outside the city but close.”

“All right,” he said. “We'll keep a low profile on the perimeter. Probably not a good idea for her to know we're close, too."

“A good plan.”

“And Commander, if we find Nia first, and if it’s not going to endanger Clarke, we’re putting her down.” His voice was cold through the radio and as much as Lexa wanted that opportunity for herself, she empathized with his position. She glanced at Indra, who stood just inside the doorway. She was scowling.

“If you have an opportunity and it does not endanger Clarke or Polis, then do what you will.”

“Understood,” he said, brusque. “Here’s Raven.”

Another period of soft hissing ensued.

“Lexa?” came Raven’s voice.

“Yes.”

“If you manage to locate Nia in the next few hours or so, let me know. I can plant some surprises in their general vicinity that they won’t like much.”

“Will you have the radio?”

“Yeah, and I’ll keep it close so you can let us know what’s happening. Whatever we can do, just let us know. And that’s not coming just from me. That’s from all of us.”

“I will. And please know that I will do everything in my power to find Clarke and ensure her safety.” She hoped Raven heard the vow in her voice.

“Thanks. We’ll be in touch. Out.”

The radio clicked then went dead. Lexa turned the volume down as Clarke had shown her and stood, staring into the darkness. “ _Skaikru_ is close,” she said. “And Roan approaches.” Nia would not have access to ready escape routes. That made her a little more unpredictable. Or perhaps not. Lexa had studied her for years, had come to know her actions and reactions, and on some dark level, she might even have understood parts of her. Nia was a predator, had always been one. But what she failed to understand was that Lexa was, too.

“An animal cornered is dangerous,” Indra responded.

Lexa nailed her with her gaze. “A hunter is also dangerous.” She brushed past her to the table. “I wish to show you how this tech works,” she said. “Come.”

She obeyed and a few minutes later, after Lexa went through the motions of using the radio, Indra demonstrated to her for the third time how to turn the radio on and off, speak on it, and change the batteries.

“ _Os_ ,” Lexa said with a satisfied nod. “Should it be necessary, you may have to coordinate with _Skaikru_.”

“It won’t be necessary.”

Lexa smiled. “I appreciate your trust in me and my abilities. But we must be prepared for all contingencies.”

She grunted and crossed her arms in defiance of doubt.

Lexa hid another smile. “Titus has older maps of this area,” Lexa said as she went back to the bathroom to finish with her facepaint. “I want the one that includes outside the wall.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. Are you thinking that Nia is not in the city?”

“She may have been,” Lexa said from the bathroom as she carefully applied the finishing touches on the black painted mask that framed her eyes and ensured the small flat metal gearwheel was affixed properly to her forehead. “But I don’t think she is any longer.” She touched her chest over her left breast, fingertips lingering on the outline of her bindings, beneath which she had placed the folded cloth with Clarke’s painting. “ _Ai na lok yu op_ ,”7 she whispered. As long as her heart beat, as long as her blood flowed, she would search. “Hold on,” she said softly. “Hold on, Clarke. I’m coming.”

“Where, then?” Indra said from the other room.

Lexa left the bathroom and put her coat on. “There may be something we’re not seeing.”

“A tunnel?”

She buckled her sword harness. “Perhaps. If Nia is close, she would need to be hidden, and she would not be able to do that above ground.”

“Different tunnels than Polis’s, then,” Indra said.

“ _Sha_.” She slid her swords into place and sheathed her knives at her belt. “It would not be unusual to find such a thing. Wash discovered underground rooms near Tondc. There may be some here, outside the city.”

Indra studied her for a moment. “ _Heda_ , you need to rest.”

“There is no time.”

“You do Clarke no service if you are too exhausted to fight.”

Lexa started to respond, but stopped.

“You have some time before first light. _Skaikru_ is moving into position. We have locked down the tower. The fires are out. The street battles are won. Take this time to rest a bit.”

She knew Indra was right. But she wanted to throw herself into the night and find someone, anyone, who knew something about Nia’s whereabouts. If she could determine that, she would know where Clarke was. “Not here,” she said, relenting.

“The guardhouse, then.”

“ _Sha_.”

Satisfied, Indra preceded her into the hallway and they descended to the ground floor, two guards in front and two in back. Lexa had put a moratorium on using the lift, so the stairwells were crowded with warriors and tower staff. She had also posted guards at the entrances to various floors, and ordered a staggered rotation at irregular intervals to keep potential spies off-balance. Nia might have eyes in the tower, but Lexa wasn’t about to make it easy for her.

In fact, she planned to make it as difficult as possible for her, and eventually, as painful as she could. They descended to the dungeon level, and to one of the tunnels that took them beneath the plaza between the tower and the guardhouse and exited a hundred yards from the latter, near the stables.

Once in the guardhouse, Indra took her to a bunking area and watched until Lexa removed her swords and stretched out on one of the thin mattresses, convinced that sleep would not come, with her thoughts churning and her heart aching.

But the low murmur of Indra’s voice and other conversations in the hallway lulled her, and she slipped into a fitful doze, images of Clarke foremost in her mind.

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa opened her eyes and Balta came into view, standing a few paces away. Hadn’t she just settled down to sleep?

“It is nearly first light.”

She sat up, fully awake, sore and still tired but at least her mind was more focused.

“ _Choj op_ ,”8 Balta said, and Lexa almost smiled because she wasn’t offering her a chance to argue about it. She got up and went to the table Balta gestured at. Water, tea, bread, and sliced meat. Her stomach still churned with worry, but Balta was right, so she sat and dug in.

“Any news?” she asked between bites.

“Some. A message from _Trishana_ arrived. The two _natrona_ escaped.”

Lexa frowned. “How?”

“There was an attack. Four who appeared to be _Skaikru_. One of the _Skaikru_ was referred to as Pike.”

Lexa’s frown deepened. “Did they have guns?’

“ _Sha_. No _Trishana_ died, but there were injuries.”

“Where are they?”

“An hour’s ride west.”

“I want warriors and a healer sent.”

“Indra did. The wounded will be escorted to Polis. Kris is also on her way. She sent scouts to try to find Pike.”

She nodded. “If they do, I want him brought to Polis alive. If he makes that difficult—” she shrugged, her meaning clear.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“It seems unlikely that Pike would be in service to Nia,” she said. “Because he freed _Skaikru_ and not _Azgeda_.” She forced herself to take a few bites of food.

“It seems he is in service to himself, now.”

“Which doesn’t make him any less dangerous. Other news?” Pike was an issue she would deal with later, or not, if he wasn’t found. With any luck, he was on his way to the Dead Zone in search of the City of Light, though men like Pike—from what she had learned about him—carried grudges.

“Not yet. I have ensured, however, that the servant Mykal named is being watched.”

Lexa nodded and took a gulp of lukewarm tea.

“He will not be able to signal from the tower.”

“ _Os_. Did Wash get the names of the _Delfikru_ in the city aiding Nia?”

“ _Sha_.”

“And the search of the city?”

“Jos has located twenty _Azgeda_ who are loyal to Nia. Atlan has arranged for them to be brought to the tower.”

“I want the search to include the access points for water. Nia could be bluffing about the poison.”

“Or she could be using things such as animal waste and corpses to foul the water, too.”

Lexa stopped chewing and regarded Balta, who, she realized, looked tired, as well.

“I suggested that to Atlan, _Heda_. She is searching for access points that may accommodate things of that nature, as well.”

She relaxed and continued chewing. “Well done,” she said after she had swallowed and washed it down with the rest of her tea. “And perhaps you should rest, as well.”

Balta raised her eyebrows. “If I deem it necessary.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said from the doorway before Lexa responded. “There is a messenger at the gates.”

Lexa pushed back from the table and retrieved her swords, which she slid into their all-too familiar positions across her back. She strode out of the guardhouse, Indra and a few other warriors with her, into the cool gray light of a dawn pushing against the previous night’s darkness.

“ _Heda_ ,” a junior warrior said when he saw her. “I come from the gates. Nia sent a messenger. It is one of the _natrona_. The one they call Jax.”

“Is he alive?” she asked as she walked.

“Barely. Arling sent warriors into the forests to search for whoever brought him.”

“What’s his message?” She moved quickly, and the junior warrior struggled to keep up with her pace.

“You are to meet Nia at first light tomorrow, where you will either accept or deny her challenge.”

“What else?” Indra demanded.

“If you do not accept,” the junior warrior continued, Nia will poison the water supply of the city.” He sounded nervous, as if afraid of Lexa’s reactions.

“And if I do accept?” Because Nia would never make this easy.

“ _Den Klark kom Skaikru na wan op_.” 9

She forced herself to inhale and exhale, to focus on her breathing as the warrior’s statement registered. Of course Nia would want to kill Clarke. And of course she’d use a challenge to make Lexa culpable in Clarke’s death. Lexa’s greatest responsibility lay with her people, and Nia knew that. And she knew that there was no way she could avoid this challenge because not doing so also risked her people should Nia find a way to defeat her. In other words, Clarke would die whether Lexa accepted the challenge or not, and Nia simply made it worse by including Polis in her demands.

Nia must have guessed that Clarke meant more to Lexa than simply a clan representative or she wouldn’t be including her as a condition. Or she wished also to pull _Skaikru_ into her plans, and use the reputation of _Wanheda_ as some kind of power play with the clans.

But that made little sense, since Nia clearly planned to kill Clarke regardless of what her decision was regarding the challenge. No, this was personal, as well, on Nia’s part, and Lexa surmised that she suspected that her relationship with Clarke was more than simply clan representative and Commander.

She gritted her teeth. They hadn’t been careful enough, and most likely it was because Clarke’s quarters were next to hers. Common enough knowledge in the tower, and people gossiped. It wouldn’t take much for someone like Danyel to pass that information along to Nia. Had she been more careful, Nia might not have targeted Clarke.

“Where does Nia wish me to meet her?” she asked as they hurried toward the gates.

“The point where two trade paths come together between Polis and Tondc,” the junior guard said.

“That makes little sense,” Indra retorted.

“Indeed.” Lexa approached Ferris, who stood talking to another warrior near the gate guardhouse.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “The messenger still lives.” He led her into the guardhouse to the same room Jon had died in. Jax was lying on a blanket, gasping in pain and groaning. His hands clenched and unclenched and he was covered in sweat.

“He was stabbed here,” Ferris said,” pointing at Jax’s left thigh.

“Why does he still live?” she asked, watching as he writhed in pain.

“Arling gave him an antidote, which may have helped, but it doesn’t seem to be working as well as it should.”

“ _Heda_.”

She turned and regarded Fyzen, framed in the doorway. “Speak.”

“May I try an antidote on him?” He gestured at Jax.

Indra glowered at him.

“Explain,” Lexa said.

“It’s an _Azgeda_ poison, and I am familiar with the mixtures.”

Lexa stepped aside so Fyzen could approach Jax. She would like to keep him alive for more information, but if he died it made no real difference to her. Fyzen knelt next to Jax and swept his gaze over him.

“I know this mixture. Nia’s personal guard uses it most often. It’s a plant that blooms in the fall and if its flowers are cooked a certain way, the process extracts a toxin. It works best when fresh.” He dug in his belt pouch and Indra’s hand wrapped around the hilt of her short sword. Lexa shot her a warning look.

Fyzen took a small brown glass vial out and unscrewed the lid. “Could someone hold his mouth open?”

Lexa nodded at Ferris, and he did as Fyzen requested, his big hands nearly completely engulfing Jax's face.

“Your antidote helped slow it,” Fyzen said as he carefully poured some of the contents into Jax’s mouth. “And he might have survived even with that, but it would have taken some time. Which I doubt _Heda_ has, when it comes to Nia.” He shrugged and screwed the cap back on and put the vial back in his pouch.

Ferris let go of Jax’s face. “ _En nau_?” 10

“ _Oso set raun_.” He got to his feet. “ _Oso na get klin nou feva_.” 11

Lexa watched Jax and already, his writhing had decreased and his fingers no longer clenched. “Ferris,” she said, “tell me everything he said.” She stepped outside into the cool air, the faint smell of smoke still present as breezes carried evidence of what had happened in the marketplace across the city. To the east, morning light crested the treetops.

Ferris ran through what Jax had managed to say and it matched what the junior guard had told her.

“Were you able to find out who brought him?”

“I asked and he said it was one warrior on horseback who put him on his feet away from the city.”

“Which way did they come from?”

“He pointed that way.” Ferris motioned toward the north.

“Why was he not blindfolded?”

“He was. It slipped enough that he was able to get a sense of where they were.”

And the warrior assumed Jax was going to die, so he probably wasn’t that concerned about it. “How long did they travel on the horse?”

“That I could not get out of him before he ended up in the state he is in now. Arling administered the antidote as soon as Jax arrived, but as Fyzen noted, it only slowed the poison.”

She went back inside. “Fyzen.”

He looked up from Jax, who was no longer groaning or moving. Instead, he breathed comfortably. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“How long does it take for this poison to work once it’s administered?”

“It depends on many things.”

“If I wanted my victim to walk a bit and still be able to say things upon reaching a destination, how long?”

“Walking causes it to move through the blood faster,” he said with a frown.

“How did he look when he arrived?” She directed the question to Ferris.

“He was in pain, clearly, but was able to talk. He provided the full message and answered a few questions before he collapsed.”

“He would not have been able to walk far,” Fyzen insisted.

She didn’t doubt him. The more important question was how far Jax had come on the horse, and whether he had been in Nia’s camp when he was brought here or if he was somewhere else.

Jax groaned softly and Fyzen moved over to him and rolled him onto his side just as he started to retch. Ferris moved to help and between them they got Jax onto his knees and he vomited, a mixture of spit and bile.

“That’s the worst part of the antidote,” Fyzen said matter-of-factly.

Jax said something but heaved again.

“Soon,” Fyzen said.

“How is it, merchant, that you have this knowledge of poisons and antidotes?” Lexa asked.

He looked over at her. “My father’s youngest brother is a healer. I helped him for a time, but it became clear that I make a far better merchant than healer. Still, I learned a few things.”

Jax coughed and then heaved again and nearly collapsed with the force of it. A few moments later he managed to sit up on his knees, still shaky. “Fuck,” he whispered and he wiped at his mouth with his sleeve. “What happened?”

“Poison,” Fyzen said. “You may not be done purging yet.”

“Great,” he muttered. He looked around and when his gaze fell on Lexa, his eyes widened.

“Are you able to talk?” She ignored the puddle on the floor.

He nodded.

“Where were you before you were brought here?”

“I’m not sure. Slightly north of the city, I think.”

“Was Nia there?”

“Yeah.” He wiped his mouth again. “She’s camped there. It’s a bunch of tunnels and rooms underground. Hard to find unless you’re practically on top of it. Oh, shit…hold on…” he leaned over and retched again. Fyzen shrugged apologetically at her.

When Jax finished he groaned and spat a few times. “Shit,” he said again. “One of Nia’s guards loaded me up this morning onto his horse. He put a blindfold on me, but it slipped, so even though it was still kind of dark, I’m pretty sure about the direction we rode.”

“How long were you on the horse?”

“It didn’t seem very long at all. Ten minutes? The horse was going pretty fast.”

“How long did you walk once you were off the horse?”

“I counted to forty-five. My leg hurt like hell, but counting helped me focus.”

“What did Nia say?”

“She said—oh, hell—” he heaved, but it wasn’t as bad as previous times and it was over much sooner. He wiped his face and coughed.

Lexa motioned at one of the guards to provide Jax his waterskin. Jax took it and squirted a few swallows into his mouth without touching his lips. He handed it back with a nod and looked at Lexa again. “She said to tell you that she is challenging you and if you don’t accept, she’s going to poison the city’s water and if you do, she’s going to kill Clarke.”

“When and where am I to meet her?”

“First light tomorrow, and she said to tell you the place where two trade paths come together between here and Tondc.” He raised his hands in a confused motion. “I have no idea what that means, but I guess she thinks you do.”

Lexa knew the place, but she didn’t believe for a moment that Nia intended to meet her there. Most likely, she would set an ambush in place and she would probably try to poison the city’s water anyway, long before that. “Did you see Clarke before you came here?”

“No. Nia asked all of us—”

“Who?”

“Me, Jon, Michi, and Lora.”

So Nia had all the _natrona_. That meant Clarke might have allies. Survival often precluded previous enmities.

“She asked us all lots of questions about you and Clarke and about somebody named Roan. None of us could help with much of that, but it does seem that Arkadia and Polis have a solid relationship and that you and Clarke have a solid alliance. That was about all I could say, anyway.”

She didn’t believe him. Jax was the talkative one, she recalled, and somewhat of a peacemaker. She suspected he was also manipulative and observed far more than he let on.

“Nia sent Jon here last night.” He looked at her, a question in his voice.

“Nia’s poison succeeded in his case,” she said.

He frowned, as if not sure what she meant. “He’s…dead?”

“Yes. As you would have been, had we not had an antidote. You may thank Fyzen for that.” She gestured with her chin.

“Dead,” Jax said softly, as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Understand that I am under no obligation to help you further. Nor am I under any obligation to keep you alive.”

He looked up at her again. “But I can lead you to Nia.”

“Perhaps. Or you could be working with her.”

“No way. She’s crazier than Emerson. Plus, she has Michi and Lora and I don’t want to leave them there.”

“You could have made a deal with Nia,” Ferris said. “And lead us into a trap in exchange for their freedom.”

“I wasn’t even supposed to live through this,” Jax said, an edge of panic in his tone.

“He does raise a good point,” Ferris conceded, catching Lexa’s eye.

“Mmm. Keep him here under guard,” she said. “And make it appear as if he died. But if there is any indication that he is colluding with Nia, finish him.”

Jax’s eyes widened. “But I'm not.”

“That remains to be seen. Ferris, you have your instructions.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Fyzen.”

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Mochof_.” She gave him a brusque nod and he bowed his head in acknowledgement.

“Oh, hey, Commander,” Jax said.

She turned her attention back to him.

“I’m supposed to give this to you.” He pulled something out of his pants pocket and Lexa knew what it was before he held it up, would have known it anywhere and every part of her ached at the realization.

She took the leather cord from him and forced herself not to look too hard at it, not to clutch Clarke’s watch and run her thumb over the strap and press her lips to its face.

“I think it’s Clarke’s.”

She gave him a hard stare and he blanched and dropped his gaze. “Indra. Ferris,” she directed, and went back outside, the two of them behind her.

“Nia toys with me,” she said. “With all of us.” She tied the cut ends of the cord and put the watch around her neck before she slipped it inside her shirt, not caring what Indra or Ferris would think. It rested against her chest, strangely familiar and another tangible tie to Clarke, and evidence, however slim, that she lived.

“Meeting her tomorrow is a trap.”

Lexa looked an Indra. “ _Sha_. And she will not wait for my response before she orders the water poisoned.”

“Nor will she spare Clarke,” Ferris said quietly, and his words cut though she knew it wasn’t intended.

“She wasn’t planning to do that anyway. But she will keep her alive long enough for me to see whatever it is she plans to do.” Which gave her a little more time to find her. Her chest felt cosnstricted, as if heavy stones were crushing it.

A commotion at the gates drew her attention. Arling jogged through, followed by two other warriors. “ _Heda_ ,” he said, urgency in his tone. “We tracked the _Azgeda_ who brought the messenger.”

“Where is he?”

“We tracked him to a place perhaps a mile from here. And then the trail disappeared.”

“What?” Indra glared at him. “A trail doesn’t just disappear.”

“Not if it continues underground.” He flashed a half-smile. “We found the entrance to a tunnel. It’s very well hidden, and the ground all around it is covered with layers of rotted leaves and underbrush, which can hide evidence of a horse’s hooves. It seems a part of the forest itself and I would not have seen it had I not fallen into it. We did not go too far within, since we had no torches and we don’t know these tunnels.”

Lexa nodded. A wise decision. If Nia knew that her hiding place may have been discovered, it might drive her to make even rasher choices.

“Shall I send warriors to this place?” Indra asked.

“Not yet. I would speak first with Jos and Atlan. Indra, ensure that they come to the tower.” Then she would speak with Balta and Titus. Nia may have thought she had many eyes in Polis and even in the tower, but Lexa knew that no matter how many eyes there were, people always saw what they wanted to and not necessarily what was actually before them. “Arling,” she said. “Can you show me on a map where this underground entrance is?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“ _Os_. _Miya_.” 12 Clarke's watch seemed to heat against her chest, and she swore that she would see it returned, and that she herself would put it around her neck. She started back to the tower, the guards who had accompanied her to the gates falling in with them.

 

6 _No gyon op_ : Don’t get up  
7 _Ai na lok yu op_ : I will find you  
8 _Choj op_ : Eat  
9 _Den Klark kom Skaikru na wan op_ : Then Clarke of/from Skaikru will die  
10 _En nau_? And now?  
11 _Oso set raun_ … _Oso na get klin nou feva_ : We wait…We will know soon [“set raun” has a longer sensibility of waiting, and usually refers to waiting in a certain location, rather than “hod op,” which has a more immediate application]  
12 _Os_. _Miya_ : Good. Come [command; come here/come with]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody! This update is a little shorter, but like I said last time, I'm hella busy with another project (the launching of a [publishing house](http://www.dirtroadbooks.com) and the damn day job. So I'm sneaking writing time in on this whenever I can.
> 
> Here, we see some of Lexa's inner (and totes legit) rage monster. I actually had to re-do this chapter a couple of times because I wanted to make sure I was being true to her character in unleashing some of the rage. I think I captured it. I hope so, anyway.
> 
> I am about halfway through the next update, which I might have ready for you next weekend! (weekend of May 19!) Let's keep our fingers crossed, because in my world, the crew and I are trying to get a couple of titles ready for publication, too, and I'm in charge of production,
> 
> Thanks SO MUCH for the kudos and comments on this here long-ass fic thingie! I always appreciate those. And you can find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) if you wanna chat or ask me anything or whatevs.
> 
> Songs that accompanied me in the writing of this chapter: Papa Roach (feat. Skylar Grey), "Periscope"; Pvris, "Heaven"; Starset, "Monster"


	64. Jus drein, jus daun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her unlikely allies receive another visit from Nia but she also gets some more info. Meanwhile, Skaikru is already in play and Lexa sets another couple of plans in motion as she prepares to leave the city.

Clarke ran her fingers along the outline of the other door in their cell until she found a spot that gave her a little purchase and she tried to pull it open. It didn’t budge, which wasn’t surprising, so she searched the floor of their cell for something—anything—she could use to help pry it open.

She located a flat piece of metal about the length of her hand in a corner under a pile of leaves. Without a word Michi moved to help her and carefully, using the metal, they pried the door open little by little, trying to keep it from scraping too loudly. A cool, dank breeze brushed her face from whatever lay beyond.

“Hold on,” Clarke whispered and Michi stopped. Clarke waited for a few moments. The breeze continued. “I think there might be some kind of passageway here,” she said as she gently leveraged the door open wide enough that she could peer inside. Another metal door was set in another wall a few paces beyond the one they’d just opened. Unlike their door, the other had a small broken window in it at about eye level. Clarke slipped out of the cell to the other door and stood on her toes to see what was beyond the second door.

“Well?” Michi asked in a soft voice.

“Another tunnel. But I still feel a breeze, so I think this might be a way out.” Clarke checked the door, running her fingers over the lock and trying the handle, which didn’t budge. “It’s either locked or rusted shut.”

“Great,” Michi said with a soft groan.

“Trust me,” Clarke said. She slipped back into the cell and closed the door.

“You keep saying that, and meanwhile—” she held her left hand up. The brand looked angry and red.

“I told you, take it up with me when we get out. Right now, we’re all in this together.”

“Michi, would you shut up about that?” Lora said from her position near the other door. “Maybe if we hadn’t been dumbasses, none of us would have the damn brands.”

Michi started to retort when Clarke grabbed her arm. “Shh.” She pointed at the grate overhead and put her hands behind her back. Michi and Lora did the same and sat down against a nearby wall.

Voices floated down to them, speaking Trigedasleng. Clarke positioned herself directly underneath the grate and strained to hear. Two men, she guessed. One was saying that the messenger had been delivered to Polis. The other said something she couldn’t make out, but it sounded angry. The other told him to be quiet and not voice disapproval of Nia, that they’d be able to leave soon enough.

“What if she succeeds in defeating _Heda_?” the one asked.

“Then Roan will have to challenge her.”

The other dropped his voice and they moved away.

“Well?” Michi asked.

“Jax got to Polis with the message.”

“And?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t say. But it seems they’re not fans of Nia.” Which could be useful. Nia may have thought she had support, but it seemed contingent on too many things. She certainly had to have true loyalists, but unless she had a vast network of those throughout the clans, she was taking a gamble on the forces she had. From the angle of the sun, even down here, she estimated it was a couple of hours past dawn.

“Someone’s coming,” Lora said, and Michi re-tied her wrists. Clarke did the same for Michi, then wrapped her own cords around her own wrists, clenching the loose ends in her fists, and slid to the floor even as the voices outside their cell door got louder.

Lora licked her lips, clearly scared, and looked at Clarke, who tried to convey calm with her expression.

The door opened and the warrior who had helped her earlier entered, followed closely by Nia and two other warriors. Oh, shit. Had he betrayed her? She caught his eye but his expression remained carefully blank.

“ _Heda_ has received a message,” Nia said to her, ignoring Michi and Lora. She was dressed in black trousers and a light-colored shirt. She was also wearing Clarke’s knives on her belt.

A warning flashed in the warrior’s eyes and she remained silent.

“I have issued a challenge. If she accepts, you will die.”

Clarke continued her silence.

“Nothing from _Wanheda_?” Nia pressed, her voice velvet-covered steel. She raised her eyebrows and waited.

“ _Heda_ will do what she must for her people,” Clarke said.

“Is not _Skaikru_ part of the _kongeda_?”

She didn’t respond.

“You are thus her people as well, are you not?”

“I am only one person. She has hundreds of others she needs to consider.”

Nia stepped closer and crouched, close enough for Clarke to reach. Too bad she wasn’t able to grab her knife and use it on her. “But none of them have her heart,” she said in a soft tone that was almost a caress.

She forced herself to look puzzled. “I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?”

Nia smiled, and it was much scarier than had she not done it at all. “You must be quite the woman indeed, to turn the head of _Leksa kom Trikru_ ,” she said in a low, deadly tone.

She sighed, affecting a frustrated demeanor. “Look, I’m the representative for _Skaikru_. That’s the only role I have where _Heda_ is concerned. The alliance _Skaikru_ has with her is politically beneficial. I have no idea what _Heda_ does in her personal life.”

Nia studied her, and again, her gaze drilled into Clarke’s, like some kind of mad burrowing parasite, like it was moving every rock in her soul and seeing all of her secrets. Somehow, she kept her own gaze level and thought about Arkadia, hoping Nia saw nothing within her.

“Can it be that you do not realize?” She sounded surprised and, oddly, a little wistful.

“Realize what?” She affected a patient and polite tone.

“ _Heda_ has given you her heart and you truly have no idea?” She pursed her lips, thoughtful.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I serve on the clan council and don’t spend much time with her outside of that.”

Nia cocked her head and studied her, but her gaze was on her jaw. She turned and looked at the warrior who had helped Clarke earlier.

“I want more salve on this,” she said, running a fingertip lightly along Clarke’s jawline and it was all she could do not to scream at how repulsed she was at the touch.

“ _Sha_ , _ai plana_.”

“Now.”

“ _Sha_.” He took the jar of salve out of his pouch and Nia stood, giving him room to crouch next to Clarke and start rubbing the salve into her skin. His touch didn’t leave her as unsettled as Nia’s and though her jaw hurt, she forced herself not to flinch.

“I think I see what _Heda_ sees in you,” Nia said, tone thoughtful. “You truly are the Commander of Death. It is perhaps appropriate that she has invested in you, since you will be her downfall.”

Clarke didn’t respond. There was nothing she could say to that, because in a really sick way, Nia was right. Had she not left the tower for the gates the night before, she wouldn’t be here now and Lexa wouldn’t be trying to come up with a way to save them all. Her actions had endangered herself, yes, but also Lexa and the _kongeda_. Nia had played her, and played her well. She wanted to kick herself.

“Do you have other injuries?” Nia asked her.

Clarke shook her head, noting that the warrior studiously avoided her gaze as he finished with the salve and stepped back.

“You are certain?”

She nodded.

“Because I will ensure that the men who inflicted them will pay,” she said and Clarke shook her head again, not wanting to make anybody else have a grudge against her. Besides, why did Nia care? She was planning to kill her regardless of what Lexa decided. She didn’t voice that thought.

“Love is weakness,” Nia said softly and Clarke kept herself from visibly reacting to the words.

“I suppose there could be a philosophical argument for that,” she said. “But I’m not sure what it has to do with anything.”

Nia stared at her for a moment, then chuckled and the sound was jarring, because it was pleasant and almost human. “It appears you have love in your life. And yet...you are not weak. Perhaps it is not the love itself that weakens, but the person it affects. _Heda_ is weak.” She shrugged. “You deserve better.”

“Than what?” She was in the strange position of defending Lexa to her nemesis without revealing how much she meant, and how deeply Clarke felt for her. “I don’t know who she spends her time with in her personal life.”

“Who one beds and who one loves are not always the same thing. As I said, _Heda_ is weak. She had already told Costia her feelings.”

“Costia again. Who is that?”

“The woman who first made _Heda_ weak.” She crouched again. “I had hope, when she Ascended, that she would be the leader of the clans I wanted, who I could respect. But instead, she declares her love for—for a mere archer and then attempts to unite the clans and bring peace. That is not leadership. That is capitulation.” She leaned closer, gaze boring into Clarke’s. “There is no place for peace in this world. It requires strong leaders, who are willing to make choices no one else can.” She paused. “Like you.”

“Yet another philosophical argument we could perhaps have another time,” she said before she thought her words through. “Too bad you’ll be killing me before we have it.”

The warrior who had helped her earlier stared at her, eyes wide.

Nia raised her eyebrows, and amusement flashed in her eyes. “You’re saying _Heda_ will accept my challenge?”

“She will do what is best for the most people. And that is definitely best.” There was no way Lexa would not accept a challenge from Nia. In fact, she would relish it.

“You seem confident in a woman you don’t have much contact with.”

“Like I said, I don’t know much about her beyond what I see in the council meetings. But everybody reveals something about themselves in political settings, and from what I’ve seen, _Heda_ will do what she thinks is best for the greatest number.”

“You defend her. Why?”

“Perhaps even in council meetings I am able to see things that you haven’t. And my people need hers.”

Nia cocked her head again, as if trying to figure something out. “ _Heda_ can be persuasive. I could not break Costia, even at the end.” She shook her head. “A mere archer, and she remained loyal to _Heda_ to her death.”

She remained silent, afraid to say anything more because Nia was too perceptive.

“And perhaps it is not _Heda_ who has given you her heart. Rather, it is you who have given yours to her, and she is the one who does not know.”

“ _Heda_ is the leader of the _kongeda_. I am part of the council. That is the extent of my feelings for her.” The lie came easily, and her tone sounded flat, much to her relief. “You could have joined, you know.”

Nia’s eyes flashed a moment of anger and maybe madness. “A ploy. She wished to kill me.”

“ _Heda_ is well aware of the past. But she is also aware that there is greater safety and prosperity in alliance. She was willing to welcome _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_ and work for the good of all.”

Nia was at her throat in an instant, tip of a knife under her jaw. Clarke didn’t dare breathe. She heard a sharp intake of breath and guessed it was Lora. “And what of you, _Klark kom Skaikru_? Would the other clans have welcomed me?”

“The other clans want what is best for their people, and for a strong alliance,” she said through clenched teeth, not daring to move. “ _Azgeda_ are a strong and proud people, but even the strongest need allies.”

The tip of the knife dug into her flesh and she knew there would be blood, but she held Nia’s gaze for a charged moment and then Nia took the knife away but remained crouched. “It seems a waste to kill you,” she said, and it might have been genuine sadness in her voice.

“So don’t. Let me go and I’ll arrange talks between you and _Heda_.”

She laughed, a short, sharp bark that lacked humor. “This must be the other side of _Wanheda_ that I have heard about. The one who thinks talking solves problems.”

“Sometimes it does.”

Nia regarded her for a long moment. “If you didn’t hold _Heda_ ’s heart, you would not die. So no matter that you may not know that this is the case, I do, and it is why you are part of the conditions for my challenge. Because I will ensure that _Heda_ always suffers.” She ran the tip of the knife along Clarke’s jawline. “I do her a favor. If we do not suffer, we cannot survive.”

Clarke didn’t even swallow, only too aware of the touch of steel on her face, and in that, only too aware of the strange hold Lexa had on Nia, a woman crazy on some levels, but bereft on others. All these years, Lexa represented what she could never be, could never achieve without subterfuge and machination.

Nia took Clarke’s chin gently in her fingers and moved her head again, inspecting the bruise and it occurred to Clarke that somewhere in the murky depths of Nia’s mind, she wanted everything that Lexa had. Including her. “I told them no damage,” she muttered, and Clarke forced herself not to recoil, not to show her anything else.

“ _Ai plana_ ,” said a female voice from the doorway.

“ _Sha_ ,” Nia said without looking away from Clarke.

“ _Heda don kom haiples daun_.” 1

“ _Hanch taim_ _kom gon_?” 2 Nia stood and Clarke looked at the doorway, at the dark-haired warrior woman addressing Nia. Something told her this was probably Ontari, from Lexa’s descriptions.

“ _Pas em don hon imfou in_.” 3

Clarke affected a confused expression, pretending she didn’t understand a word of the conversation. She avoided looking at Ontari, though she felt her gaze on her.

“And she has not left it?” Nia continued in Trigedasleng.

“No.”

“You’re certain?”

“ _Sha_. Though she could have during my ride back here, but it’s only a few minutes.”

Clarke kept her expression blank.

“ _Heda_ ’s scouts?”

“There are several. But we approached this place from the north, circling around, and we split up and entered separately.”

“And the city?”

Ontari was silent and Nia moved toward her.

“ _Heda_ has managed to flush out several _Azgeda_ and _Delfikru_.”

 _Delfikru_? Were there other loyalists among _Delfikru_ , then? Clarke glanced over at Michi and Lora, who were watching the exchange with dread.

“How many?” Nia demanded.

“Thirty, maybe more.”

“There are still others,” she said. “And it won’t matter, ultimately, once we have her. I want the best archers. She will bring warriors with her, and she will be prepared for a trap. So we will stop them before they get there.”

“ _Sha_.” Ontari threw a baleful glare at Clarke and left.

“Soon, all will be over,” Nia said in a perversely soothing tone to her and then she left, as well, trailed by the warrior who had helped her and the other two.

Clarke waited a bit before she undid her wrists again and wiped the trickle of blood off the underside of her chin that Nia’s knife had drawn.

“What was that about?” Lora asked when Clarke helped loosen her ties.

“Power play.” She turned to Michi’s wrists.

“Damn creepy,” Michi said. “It’s like she has a thing for you.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“Yeah, well, from where I was sitting, she’s either obsessed with Lexa, you, or both.”

“All the more reason to get out of here,” Clarke snapped.

“Is it true?”

She looked at Lora. “What?”

“That Lexa is in love with you?”

“Yeah. Are you more than BFFs?” Michi asked with a smirk as she rubbed her wrists.

“Lexa has never said she’s in love with me,” Clarke said with a shrug, hoping that nothing showed on her face.

“Well, I figured something was up with you two,” Michi muttered and Clarke gave her a look.

“What do you mean?”

“The way you jumped right in to defend her against Jon. Not like she needed it. She seems like she could easily have taken him down. But there you were, threatening to kill him. Defending Lexa’s honor like there was way more between you than just working together.”

“Did you say that to Nia?” Clarke asked, and she got right up in Michi’s face.

“What the hell? Back off.”

“Did you say something to Nia that would make her think that there’s something going on between me and Lexa?”

“Hey,” Lora said. “Relax.”

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?” Michi said, taking a step back.

Clarke stared at her. “So you did.”

“I might have said that it seemed you two were closer than just Commander and representative.”

“Might have? What exactly did you say?” Clarke advanced on her, trying to keep her anger from creating more problems than they were already dealing with.

“Okay, fine. I said that I was pretty sure there was something going on between you and Lexa.”

“You said _what_?” Lora demanded. “Why would you tell her something like that?”

“Because it looked like there was and Nia was really interested to know and I thought maybe it would buy me—us—some time,” she said with a gesture at Lora. “She already figured there was. I just helped, and gave her my impressions. Such as they were.”

“Fucking idiot,” Clarke said between her teeth.

“What? Who cares? Whatever.”

“That’s not the point. Commanders have to be careful with their relationships. Even if there’s nothing between Lexa and somebody else, the rumor that there is can be politically damaging.”

“And? It’s not my problem. I don’t fucking owe you or her a thing.” She held up her branded hand.

“Lexa is probably the only thing that is keeping us alive right now,” Clarke retorted.

“Oh, please. Nia’s going to kill us all tomorrow.”

“She would’ve done it sooner if Lexa wasn’t in the picture.”

“Hey,” Lora said again. “Can we please move on? There’s nothing we can do about what Michi said. Who was that other woman and what did she say?”

Clarke gave Michi one last glare before she turned to Lora. “That was probably Ontari. Nia’s going to use her, most likely to take the position of Commander and she’ll control her.”

“Great,” Michi said. “More crazy power shit.”

“But what did they talk about?” Lora asked.

“She said that Lexa went back to the tower after getting the message, and from what I could tell, we are not that far from Polis.” Which was a huge relief, because it meant that if she used the mini-mines, Lexa would be able to pinpoint her location quickly. She looked up at the grate. Mid-morning now, she decided. “Keep watch,” she said to Lora.

“What are you doing?” Michi looked at her, suspicious.

“I’m going to look at that other passage again.”

“We can’t get to it.”

“Not yet.” Clarke pulled the other door in their cell open, the one she and Michi had worked on earlier, and had another look at the second door. She guessed it wasn’t barred on the other side, but instead had at one time been readily opened with the handle. Which was stiff with rust and age. She tried moving it again, then jiggled it, but it wouldn’t budge.

Again, she looked through the small broken window. The passage beyond was dark, but the breeze that blew through it was steady, so the tunnel led somewhere. If she blew this door with a mini-mine, they’d have a possible escape route, but with no light, it wasn’t ideal.

But neither was death.

She went back into the cell. “See if you can find any kind of metal or even a piece of wood or a stick or something,” she directed Michi who for once did what she asked without commenting.

In one corner Clarke found a six-inch-long metal rod, about a quarter-inch in diameter. “Like this.” She held it up for Michi. “One more would be good.” She hid it under a pile of leaves.

“Someone’s coming,” Lora said, and she re-tied Michi’s wrists. Clarke loosely tied Lora’s, then again looped her own ties around her wrists and clutched the ends in her palms. They all sat down just as the door scraped open and the warrior who had spoken to Clarke earlier entered, carrying a waterskin. Another warrior closed the door behind him.

“You,” he said to Clarke. “I will untie you and you will help the others drink.”

She nodded and he made a show of taking the ties off her wrists. He handed her the skin and she sniffed it and looked at him. He nodded and she took a swallow and swished it around her mouth. Lukewarm, and it tasted like the inside of the skin. Satisfied, she took a few more swallows then helped both Lora and Michi drink.

The warrior went to stand by the door, arms crossed.

After they all drank again Clarke took the skin to him. “Thank you.”

He nodded and she turned around so he could reach her wrists. He leaned close to her ear as he fiddled with the cords. “ _Skaikru_ is close, to the west,” he said, so softly she thought she’d misheard. She froze. “Nia does not know yet," he continued. "They arrived much sooner than she predicted.”

The radio. Lexa had contacted Arkadia. Clarke kept herself from smiling but hope welled in her chest. She wanted to ask him where exactly they were and how many, but she kept quiet, worried that the guard on the other side of the door would wonder why she was speaking in a low tone to the warrior in the cell.

He finished with the cords. “Soon,” he said, and left. She heard the bar scrape into place and she put her ear to the door, waiting. She heard footsteps then nothing.

“What the hell is going on?” Michi whispered. “What did he say to you?”

“Shh,” Clarke pulled her hands free.

“He—” Michi clamped her mouth shut.

“He’s not a supporter of Nia,” Clarke said. “And _Skaikru_ is close.”

“What?” Lora stared at her. “How?”

“Lexa contacted them.” Again her chest filled, this time with relief and pride and many other things that she wasn’t sure she could adequately convey.

“How do you know that?” Michi rubbed her wrists.

“Because she has a radio and she knows how to use it.”

Lora’s eyes widened and she actually smiled. “So where are they?”

“That I don’t know, but he said west, and they’re not far.” Which could mean anywhere from a mile to five miles. Grounder perceptions of distance weren’t predicated on how far, but rather how long it took to get somewhere, based on the position of the sun. In Clarke’s experience, “close” could mean ten minutes or an hour. So she estimated within thirty minutes.

“So what do we do?” Michi stood and actually helped Lora up.

“He said ‘soon,’ but I’m not sure what that means. I think he’s going to give me another signal. In the meantime, we can get a few things ready.”

Michi frowned. “Why are you trusting this guy?”

“Because he has way more to lose than gain by telling me these things. If Nia wanted someone to spy on us—or me—she would have put one of you up to it.” She looked pointedly at Michi, who glared back at her.

Lora stared at Michi. “I never thought of that.”

“Really? Could be you,” Michi said. “Maybe Nia promised _you_ something in exchange for information. Maybe she already suspects this guy is helping Clarke, and this whole thing is a set-up.”

“In exchange for information, Nia would probably offer freedom. That’s what she did, isn’t it?” Clarke looked at Lora.

“She told me that if she liked the information I gave her, she’d consider letting me go. I didn’t really believe her, though. Besides, I didn’t have much to tell her. Did she say that to you?” Lora asked Michi.

“Yeah. I told her what I knew, and what I thought about certain things—” she gave Clarke another glare, “and she said she’d think about setting me loose. I guess I didn’t really believe her, either, especially when she took Jax and Jon.” She stopped and looked at Clarke. “Do you think Jax is dead?”

“I don’t know. He did get to Polis, so up until that point, he was probably all right.” And knowing Lexa, she most likely figured Nia would send another poisoned messenger so the guards at the gates would have had extra antidotes available.

They stood in silence for a while.

“I’m not a damn spy,” Michi finally said.

“Wouldn’t a spy say something like that?” Lora retorted. “You could’ve had a meeting this morning when you went to the bathroom.”

“With the guy helping Clarke? Wouldn’t that make me a spy for the other side?”

“What other side?” Clarke asked.

“The one—not Nia’s.” Her brow creased and she looked like she was trying to figure out some arcane problem.

Lora snorted. “Careful. You’ll hurt yourself with all that thinking.”

Clarke smiled and even Michi’s expression relaxed.

“Hell,” Michi said. “What side _are_ we?”

“Duh. Ours.” Lora rolled her eyes.

“That’ll work,” Clarke said with a shrug. “Now let’s see if we can find some old cloth or something to wrap around this.” She removed the bar she had found earlier from the pile of leaves.

Lora took up her position by the door, acting again as lookout and Clarke was glad, because she trusted her more than Michi. For now, though, Michi was almost bearable and appeared focused on doing what Clarke had asked.

In spite of their circumstances, hope and warmth continued to bubble in her chest. _Skaikru_ was close, and that could only have happened because Lexa had contacted them, which meant that she was alive, and she was searching for her. Even with that challenge from Nia, Lexa was searching for her, and she was setting things in motion to get her out of this.

And Clarke would do everything she could to help.

   
1 _Heda don kom haiples* daun_ : Heda had returned to the tower [Peterson doesn’t appear to have a word for “tower,” so I made one: “haiples,” derived from “high place.”]  
2 _Hanch taim_ _kom gon_? How long ago?  
3 _Pas em don hon imfou in_ : After she got the message

 

###

“You are certain _Skaikru_ can find this location that Arling discovered?” Titus looked at the map, dubious.

Lexa looked over at him from her side of the table. “ _Sha_.” She had already contacted Raven and between her, Bellamy, and Arling talking the location through, she was sure _Skaikru_ had a decent idea of where the underground tunnels were.

“Then I will return to the tower and attempt to flush Hamza’s servant out before he is able to signal anyone.”

Lexa held his gaze.

“I will also have a word or two with Hamza.” His tone was grim.

She looked over at Indra, who nodded and followed Titus out of the room with two warriors. “Wash.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“I need you to go to the place Arling found and rendezvous with _Skaikru_. Please ensure that _Belomi kom Skaikru_ does not do anything rash. He is familiar with you, and knows that Clarke trusts you. I suspect that Kane entrusted him with this mission, and there is much to be commended about Bellamy, but Nia is very good about manipulating situations and Bellamy does not often think before he acts.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Arling, I need you at the gates. Roan may arrive in the next few hours, and Atlan and Darya can help coordinate with you in putting his forces to the best use.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

She rolled the map up and Wash and Arling moved to the door. Wash opened it. “ _Gothru klir_ ,”4 she said to them.

“ _En yu_ , _Heda_ ,” Wash responded in tangent with Arling.

The four guards in the corridor accompanied her to the tunnel that would take her from the guardhouse back to the tower. She was counting on Nia having eyes in the city that watched the tower. Lexa had made it a point to enter it after speaking with Jax earlier and then to descend to the tunnels soon after.

Once they arrived back at the tower, she made it another point to step outside through the main entrance under the pretext of talking with the guards stationed there. Then, after a few minutes, she went back inside but this time, she went up, to her quarters.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said from her position in front of Lexa’s closed door. “I have had the floor searched again, but if you wish…?”

“No.”

Balta inclined her head and opened the door and Lexa brushed past her.

“Have you been waiting long?” Lexa asked once the door was closed.

“No.”

Lexa unsheathed her swords and knives and placed them on the table and Balta retrieved the pouch that held her whetstones and the cloths she used to clean her blades. “What of Hamza?” she asked as she wiped one of her swords down.

“It is possible that he is unaware of his servant’s actions.”

“Mmm.” Lexa placed a small block of wood under the tip of the sword and prepared her whetstone. “Hamza is not my staunchest ally.”

“Neither is he a strong foe. He does not always support you, but he does more often than not.” She moved a pile of folded clothing from one of the chairs at the table and laid it out on the couch.

Lexa didn’t respond and instead fell into the rhythm of sharpening the blade, thinking about Clarke, and willing her to hold on. She smiled, then, because she knew that if it was physically possible, Clarke was already looking for a way to escape, and no doubt she was blaming herself for the ordeal. She finished with the first sword, set it aside, and started working on the second.

“She is resourceful, _Heda_ ,” Balta said, as if she was reading her mind.

“I know.” She stopped working on the sword. “But Nia would not be using Clarke as a condition of her demands if she was unaware of—” she paused, searching for the right way to convey what she and Clarke shared.

“Your relationship,” Balta said and Lexa blinked at the no-nonsense acknowledgement.

“Is it that obvious?”

Balta looked at her. “If one is paying attention, some things may lead to that conclusion.”

“I wasn’t careful enough and now I’ve endangered all of us.” Nia targeted weaknesses in people. She had found hers in Costia and now in Clarke.

“ _Heda_.”

She looked up at Balta.

“Every Commander has taken at least one lover. And I know that you have taken others, after Costia and before Clarke.”

Lexa waited, though she didn’t like discussing her past in that regard, but Balta always had a point.

“If not Clarke, Nia would have taken someone else in your life. The issue here is Nia and her obsession with you since you Ascended. Clarke is incidental. Costia was incidental. Nia tears down that which she can never be and never have. And I think that you know this, too.” She finished with the clothing. “But I understand why you attempt to carry this responsibility, as well. It is your way, but you don’t always have to take on the weight caused by others’ actions.”

Lexa finished with the second sword and started on her knives. “There is a sickness, perhaps, in Nia.”

Balta took Lexa’s swords and placed them on their wall pegs. “Everyone has something inside they must face. And there are those among us whose minds do not work in ways they should. I have long thought this about Nia, and I think perhaps it is time that you not attempt to find logic or reason to why she does these things. Accept that she does them, and act accordingly.”

Lexa stared at her then smiled. “That is a Commander’s wisdom,” she teased.

Balta smiled back. “I am no warrior.”

“Not all battles are won with warriors,” she said as she finished one knife and started on another.

“ _That_ is a Commander’s wisdom.” A knock sounded at the door and Balta went to answer it. A servant entered carrying a tray with food and drink. She wore black shirt and pants and her dark hair fell in a single braid down her back. When she looked up, Lexa was struck, again, at how close the color of Val’s eyes was to her own. More hazel than green, their color seemed to shift in response to lighting, appearing greener at times than at others. Currently, they were a mixture of brown and green.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said as she set the tray on the table near the knives.

“You make an effective servant,” she said with a nod. “Should you tire of your life as a warrior, I’m sure Titus or Balta could find a place for you in the tower.”

Val laughed and poured her a cup of tea. “Atlan is in place with Garret. Darya is with Jos, and Ferris will be meeting up with them soon, as we discussed.”

Lexa finished the second knife and started on the third. “And the other matter?”

“Already in play. Once Balta deems me ready to go among the public, I will coordinate that with Atlan and Garret.” She looked over at Balta, who gestured at the clothing she had laid out.

“Dress,” she said, and Val took the clothing into the bathroom.

Lexa sipped the tea and touched her shirt, traced the outline of Clarke’s watch beneath the fabric, warm against her chest. She thought about the day she had summoned Clarke to her tent and assured her that Octavia had nothing to fear from her and she had told Clarke she trusted her.

Clarke understood what that meant. She acknowledged it, told her she knew how hard it was for Lexa to trust, let alone say it. And maybe it was forward, but Lexa had learned that sometimes, acting was better than not, so she pulled Clarke into that first kiss.

Her fingers stilled on the watch’s outline. Everything had changed with that kiss, and Clarke’s lips had moved against hers just as gently, a tentative and delicate first exploration, until she pulled away, uncertain. Lexa respected her decision, but her heart had made another, and she didn’t grasp the magnitude of it until days later in the shadow of the mountain and a deal she made that left parts of her in pieces.

“Ready for the paint,” Val called and Balta went into the bathroom.

Lexa finished working on the second knife and started on the third.

In spite of the mountain, Clarke had reached out weeks later, had understood a threat in the political landscape of a new world, and entrusted her with something that held deep personal meaning for her. She knew Lexa would keep it safe, and that she would honor that bit of trust even in the wake of the mountain.

Because Clarke knew.

Had maybe always known, had in fact seen past her walls and looked right through her. Clarke knew her vulnerabilities, knew her weaknesses, understood her strengths and the ways she employed both. She had chosen to put her trust in Lexa again, after the mountain. And she kept doing it, kept trusting her, though Lexa wouldn’t blame her for any doubts she still had. Perhaps some day she would have Clarke’s trust unconditionally, and Clarke would truly understand, then, what a Commander’s fealty entailed--what Lexa’s fealty entailed.

The third knife done, Lexa put her whetstones and cloth back into the pouch. The sun was nearing its highest point and Raven was generally punctual, so she turned the volume of the radio up and finished her tea. Just as she refilled her cup, Raven’s voice emanated from the radio.

“Calling Polis. Raven here.”

She picked it up. “It’s Lexa.”

“Hey, Commander. Okay, we found the tunnel that Arling discovered and, bonus, we’ve found a few others, within a few dozen yards. Pretty sure _Azgeda_ is using them, but we’re not getting too close because we don’t want to tip anybody off. Did you get all that?”

Lexa smiled at Raven’s use of her title. She sounded like an eager child. “Yes. Have you determined where they lead?”

“Not yet, but I’m guessing they don’t go too far, and some might not be usable. Wash said that two of them look like they might be collapsed, so we can probably rule those out. I suggest we use the plan I outlined in our earlier conversation, and see what we can flush out with a few loud distractions.”

Lexa stood and looked through the glass doors to her balcony. “It is absolutely imperative that you not be discovered and that you don’t set anything off until I get there.”

“Not a problem. I’m pretty good with this kind of thing. When will you be here?”

“Before mid-afternoon.”

“I’ll tell Bellamy and Lincoln and then get my surprises ready.” She sounded gleeful. “Lincoln said you’ll signal when you’re close, so I’m leaving that to him. How are things there?”

“In process.”

“Okay, then. We’ll see you soon. Have the radio with you in case anything goes weird. And Lexa—”

“Yes.”

“Clarke’s pretty good at surviving. And we’re pretty good at helping her with that. Out.”

The background hiss increased and Lexa turned the volume down. It should have felt strange, using tech and working this closely with _Skaikru_ , but it didn’t. Instead, it seemed natural, because this is what she had to do to find Clarke. Anything related to Clarke was woven into every facet of Lexa’s life, as much a part of her as breathing.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said and Lexa turned as Val emerged from the bathroom and for a second, it was like looking at a mirror. Balta had braided Val’s hair similar to Lexa’s, and the facepaint made her eyes appear greener than they were.

“I can sound more like you,” Val said, changing the intonation of her voice a little. “But it won’t fool those who know you best.”

“It’s the appearance that is important,” Lexa said as she watched Balta affix a tiny metal decoration to Val’s forehead that mimicked her own. “The coat…” she nodded, appreciative.

Balta smiled. “A decent imitation, yes?”

It was. Somehow Balta had even managed to age it, so that it appeared more like her own. Lexa walked around Val, inspecting. She was similar in build and height, and had spent a long time learning some of Lexa’s mannerisms. Even her facial structure was close, but Balta used other makeup to further the illusion. She nodded, pleased.

“Your turn,” Balta said, and Lexa sat at the table so Balta could arrange her hair into a single braid as Val’s had been. When she finished, Lexa went into the bathroom and dressed in the clothing Balta had left for her, black shirt and pants. She made sure the painting was still secure in her bindings and checked the leather cord that held Clarke’s watch. When she emerged from the bathroom, she knew she would pass easily for Val.

She put the three remaining mini-mines in her pockets and Balta handed her the tray that Val had brought, loaded with the dishes. Lexa moved to the door and the pitcher threatened to fall over. Balta rearranged it.

“It’s a skill, _Heda_ ,” Val said with a grin. “Perhaps I should teach you.”

“Mmm. Perhaps. It might be useful.” Lexa gave her a last appraisal. “ _Mochof_.”

She inclined her head. “ _Ai koma yu op_ , _Heda_.” 5

Balta reached for the door and caught Lexa’s eye for a moment. “ _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes_ ,”6 she said softly, and Lexa stared at her for a moment,and then Balta opened the door.

Lexa stepped into the corridor and walked to the stairwell. Remarkably, nothing fell off the tray. The guards glanced at her as she passed, but nothing registered. People see what they want to see, she thought as she went down the stairs to the kitchens, hugging the wall as best she could to avoid someone running into her.

She had a new appreciation for tower staff when she exited the stairwell and went to the kitchens, which were filled with the sound of myriad voices and the clatter of cookware. The kitchens were busy most of the time, so it was easy for her to slip in and leave the tray in the appropriate place and slip out. No one paid attention to her and she descended to the lower levels to the tunnel that would take her to the guardhouse.

Tam stood waiting with a torch, next to the tunnel door. “ _Heda_ ,” she said from the tunnel entrance when she saw her. “I think.”

Lexa flashed her a smile. “Not at the moment.”

Tam opened the door and went in first then waited for Lexa. Once inside, Lexa pulled the door closed. “What news?” she asked as they descended a flight of stone steps.

“Atlan and Indra have flushed out another ten _Delfikru_ and another twelve _Azgeda_. Jos is questioning the _Azgeda_. Indra is dealing with the _Delfikru_.”

“And the water supply?”

“Garret is coordinating that, along with two warriors who know the city. I do not yet know how it progresses, but your idea about the city’s children helping with the search was very wise, _Heda_.” They reached the bottom of the steps and began walking through the cramped tunnel.

“Val suggested it earlier today. She is right. Who knows the city better than its children? I learned it when I came to Polis as a child. And children see things adults do not. They also tend to know where the best hiding places are.”

They walked in silence, shadows created by the torchlight bouncing off the walls before merging with the darkness behind them.

“What of Rex and Ayda?”

“Ayda has improved and Rex still lives. Somehow.” Tam shot her a glance, and Lexa saw strain around her eyes. She slowed to a stop.

Lexa stopped, too, and waited.

“ _Heda_ , you must find Clarke.”

She waited.

“Without Clarke, _Skaikru_ may not wish to stay in the _kongeda_.”

“That is a possibility.”

“Without _Skaikru_ , other clans may also decide to leave the _kongeda_. Not because of any loyalty to _Skaikru_ , but rather because reverting to old ways is easy. Seeing one clan do it may encourage others to, as well.”

“There is _always_ that possibility,” Lexa said and she started walking again.

“ _Heda_.”

She stopped, puzzled. “Speak.”

“Since you Ascended, I have watched you, and watched how you create alliances and how you are able to convince people of the worthiness of your cause.”

“Convince some, perhaps,” she said, tone wry.

“You do. But then _Skaikru_ came to the ground and everything is very different now. Still, you have managed to create a path through this new wilderness.”

“I have not done it alone. Clarke has helped. Many people have helped.”

“But Clarke—she is the counterweight, _Heda_. She balances you, as you balance her. She is a strong leader in her own right, but she understands you and what you are trying to accomplish and she knows that _Skaikru_ cannot survive on the ground without alliances. I fear the rest of _Skaikru_ does not have this expansive view.”

Tam was right. Kane would be amenable to working with _Trikru_ , but Abby wouldn’t. Abby would never forgive her if Nia succeeded in killing Clarke. Lexa would never forgive _herself_ , but she was Commander, called to bear the pain of many. Losing Clarke, however, would be a pain that might be insurmountable.

“Clarke is your counterweight,” Tam repeated. “I do not understand how some things come to pass, but you need her, and she needs you. Apart, you are two pieces of a broken blade, still sharp and effective, but together, you are a well-forged sword, capable of much more.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “That’s twice, now, that you have spoken to me about Clarke in this fashion.”

“Forgive me, _Heda_. I do not wish to be disrespectful—”

“You’re not.” She started walking again and Tam hurried to catch up. “And you’re right,” Lexa said after a few more paces. “Clarke is integral to an alliance with _Skaikru_. But regardless, I will find her because she is integral to _me_.” She surprised herself, saying such a thing aloud, but Tam had long suspected their relationship. She wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t know.

Tam didn’t respond and Lexa looked at her. She was grinning.

“You wish to say something further about this matter?” Lexa asked, trying to sound stern but it didn’t work, as Tam’s grin only widened.

“No, _Heda_ ,” she said.

“ _Os_.” They arrived at the steps to the guardhouse and took them to the door, where Lexa waited a few steps below so Tam could open it. She did, then motioned Lexa into the room and put the torch in a wall sconce. This room had no windows.

Tam handed her one of her knives. “Until Val arrives with your weapons. It is not proper for _Heda_ to have no weapon.”

Lexa flashed her a smile and Tam slipped out the other door that led into the main corridors of the guardhouse. Once she was gone, Lexa ran through a few of her breathing exercises to help calm her mind. Then she paced, twirling the knife in her hands to help keep her occupied while she waited.

Val had masqueraded for her in the past, but the stakes were far higher now. Lexa was counting on the illusion to lull Nia’s spies in the city that _Heda_ was in Polis and, depending on what transpired the rest of this day, on her way to the alleged rendezvous. She had already sent scouts to watch the location because she expected one of two things. A trap along the way or Nia would not show and instead would try to enter Polis under the impression that Lexa was out of the city.

The door opened and Tam entered with a bundle of clothing, followed by Val.

“ _Heda_ ,” they both said and Tam handed Lexa a leather vest and her coat. She gave Tam her knife back and put the vest on and adjusted the ties so that it was snug against her. As she put her coat on, she thought about how Clarke had worn it into the city. _Hedakou_ , she had called it the next day, teasing her even though every word and emotion between them was still raw from the wound Lexa had inflicted at the mountain. Even then, Clarke found room to gently tease her, a recognition, perhaps, of a connection between them, however frayed it was.

She buckled the fasteners on her coat and Tam handed her the wide belt she wore, which served as some protection for her hips and sides and lower back. While she tightened it into place, Val removed Lexa’s swords from her own back. Tam held them while she undid the harness and handed it to Lexa, who buckled it on. Lexa slid her swords into place, and the weight of duty, loyalty, and responsibility slid into place with them, familiar and almost comforting. Val handed Lexa her knives and Lexa sheathed them and took her gloves from Tam and stuffed them into her belt.

Val smiled. “ _Heda_ ,” she said, “I am proud to serve you.”

“And I appreciate all that you are doing.” She glanced at Tam, who motioned toward the door.

“I’ll wait a bit longer, and then I’ll return to the tower,” Val said. With her own weapons, Lexa knew, that she’d get from the armory here. And then she would go out into the city, making certain to be seen. Nia didn’t want Lexa dead yet. Because if Lexa died before Clarke, then Clarke’s death was meaningless for Nia. No, Nia needed Lexa alive, so Val was probably safe from an attempt on her life.

She clasped Val’s forearm. “ _Ste klir_.” 7

“ _En yu_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa left and followed Tam to the sleeping area she had used earlier and Tam provided her two jars and a cloth and then she left. She stared into the mirror and undid the one long braid down her back and created myriad smaller braids. Then she opened the jar of facepaint, which she slowly applied, creating the black mask around her eyes with meditative grace. Under these circumstances, it was part of her ritualistic preparation for battle. Tam understood that, and she would ensure that Lexa was not disturbed.

She dragged a paint-coated finger down her left cheek from the mask and created three vertical lines, the shortest in front. She repeated the pattern on the right. Like tears, maybe. Or blood, running down her cheeks, to honor those who had fallen and those who would in the future. She wiped her fingers on the cloth and put the lid on the jar.

 _You are Leksa kom Trikru_.

Her mother’s voice, the last time Lexa had seen her.

 _You will be Heda_.

She remembered her mother’s eyes, remembered their intensity on that last meeting.

 _And you will bring change_.

She opened the other jar, and rubbed a bit of the adhesive onto the spot above the bridge of her nose, between her eyebrows.

 _It will not be easy_.

She stared into the mirror and carefully affixed the small metal decoration, reminiscent of a sunburst or perhaps a gearwheel to the adhesive.

 _Nothing worth doing ever is_.

And then she had painted Lexa’s face with the mask she wore now.

 _This is the mark of the ancestors_.

She wiped her fingers off again and screwed the lid onto the jar.

 _Remember it, and from them draw wisdom and strength_.

Lexa touched her chest where Clarke’s watch rested against her skin, near her heart. Even through her clothing, she felt its outline, knew its contours because she had traced them with her fingers every day she had kept it safe the last time.

“ _Ste yuj_ , _Klark_ ,” she whispered. “ _Ai ste komba raun gon yu_.” 8 She closed her eyes and inhaled then let her breath out in a long, slow release.

 _Ai laik Leksa kom Trikru_. 9

She took another deep breath.

 _Ai laik Heda_. 10

And another.

 _En ai na lid swich in_. 11

She moved to the door.

 _Deyon ai lid wamplei in_. 12

She stepped into the corridor.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said. “We are ready.”

Lexa nodded and followed her back to the tunnel entrance, where Indra waited with ten warriors, four of whom held torches. They would return to the tower then take another tunnel to exit the city.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said with a nod. One of the warriors opened the door and went first. Lexa descended after the third, Indra right behind her. They walked without speaking, the only sounds their footfalls, the hiss and pop of the torch flames, and the creaking of leather.

 _Ai laik Leksa kom Trikru_.

They walked up the steps and emerged into the dungeon room she and Tam had left earlier and they took a different tunnel, accessed via a different cell. The smell of damp clung to her nostrils.

 _Deyon ai lid wamplei in_.

Torchlight danced across the corridor’s ceiling, and it was like seeing glimpses of starlight above the forest canopy, blocked then visible as the branches swayed with night breezes.

 _Jus drein, jus daun_. 13

They soon arrived at the door that would open to the forests and one of the warriors slid the latches back and pushed it open a crack, to allow daylight and the crisp tang of autumn to flood the dim interior and give their eyesight time to adjust. He whistled, a sound like a common bird, and an answering whistle sounded nearby.

“ _Ogud_?” 14 Indra asked her.

“ _Sha_.” She followed her into the forest, and the trees seemed to whisper a welcome, and embrace her as one of their own.

 _Deyon ai lid wamplei in_.

Her focus narrowed even as her senses expanded as they moved quietly through the underbrush, working their way north, skirting the city wall.

 _Ai laik Heda Leksa kom Trikru_.

Her hands anticipated the weight of her swords, and she could almost hear the singing of her blades as they sliced through flesh and bone.

 _And today I bring death_.

Clarke’s watch pressed into her flesh, urging her on, giving her both strength and a cold, deadly calm.

 _Stay strong, Klark kom Skaikru_.

_I’m coming for you._

 

4 _Gothru klir_ : Safe passage/travels [you’ve seen this one, but it’s been a while, so here it is again]  
5 _Ai koma yu op_ , _Heda_ : I honor you/it is my honor [you’ve seen this one]  
6 _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes_ : Love is not weakness [you’ve seen that one once before, too.]  
7 _Ste klir_ : Be safe  
8 _Ste yuj_ … _Ai ste komba raun gon yu_ : Stay strong, Clarke…I’m coming for you.  
9 _Ai laik Leksa kom Trikru_ : I am Lexa of _Trikru_  
10 _Ai laik Heda_ : I am _Heda_  
11 _En ai na lid swich_ * _in_ : And I will bring change [the verb “to change” is “swich op,” but there appears to be no noun for “change” in Peterson’s lexicon, so I just used “swich.”]  
12 _Deyon ai lid wamplei in_ : Today I bring death  
13 _Ogud_? Ready? [you’ve seen this one]  
14 _Jus drein, jus daun_ : Blood must have blood [pretty sure you know this one…]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PEEPS! How are you? Here's another chapter. Not among the longest, but almost as long as last time. I spent some time with Lexa, thinking about how she would prepare herself to go into battle (which is pretty much what this is), with the added stake of Clarke and I hope this captures a little bit of what that might be like. I hope it works.
> 
> And how about Val? That Lexa. So sneaky. :)
> 
> Which means...hell, it means SHIT IS SO REAL RIGHT NOW OMG.
> 
> Okay, in terms of the schedule, I am on the road this coming week, so I probably will not be able to post until the weekend of June 3 (OMG Wonder Woman opens June 2, you guys!). I'll try really hard to get something slammed out before then, but I can't guarantee it, what with all the other cray going on in my life. I'll keep people posted. You can check the [Twitterz](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com).
> 
> And please, feel free to hit me up to chat or ask questions or whatever on either Twitter or Tumblr. And thank you thank you thank you for the kudos and comments. I SO APPRECIATE THEM! Thanks for joining me on this journey.
> 
> Some songs that accompanied me in writing this chapter: Amy Shark, "Blood Brothers"; NEIKID with Brolin, "Sand and Lead"; Heaven, "It's Not Enough"


	65. Bombs Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her band of natrona put one of the mini-mines to good use and Lexa works with Skaikru to search for Clarke and Nia in Nia's underground tunnel system.

Clarke tore a strip of cloth off the bottom of her shirt. They’d spent time kicking forest debris aside looking for anything else to burn on a makeshift torch but found nothing that would have worked.

Since Nia had left, the sun was a few hours past zenith, from what Clarke could tell through the grate. Several people had walked by overhead, which made her think something was going on, and she sensed that the sooner they got out, the better.

Lora and Michi handed strips of their own shirts to her. She wrapped them around the piece of metal she had found.

“Kind of a short torch,” Michi said.

“We’re improvising.” Clarke wished for her knives to serve as a possible torch. She heard voices above, through the grate and looked up. A man, speaking with someone in Trigedasleng. The second voice was Ontari’s. She stopped what she was doing and motioned for Lora and Michi to keep quiet.

“You’re certain _Heda_ is in the city?” the man asked.

“ _Sha_. I just saw her near the marketplace.”

“Has Nia sent the archers yet?”

“No. She wishes to wait until dark. Lexa has scouts everywhere.” They moved away and Lora looked at Clarke, expectant.

“Ontari and another warrior. Ontari said she just saw Lexa in Polis, near the marketplace.” She chewed her lip. How close were they to the city?

“And?” Michi asked.

“When she was here earlier with Nia, she said she had seen Lexa in the tower.”

“So what? So we now know Lexa is in Polis.”

Lora shot a glare at Michi.

“It means Ontari went to Polis and came back since she was here in the cell. Polis is close,” Clarke said. “And apparently Ontari must be pretty good at sneaking around, if Nia is sending her there. Because if Ontari gets captured, then she can’t be Commander. But if that’s the case, how is she getting into the city?”

“Maybe there’s a tunnel that takes them close to the city.” Lora shrugged. “I mean, this place could be a maze.”

Of course. That made sense. “And maybe there’s someone waiting there for her and that person passes the information along to her so Ontari doesn’t have to go into Polis.” She remembered the tunnel that she had taken to leave Polis for Arkadia. It was possible there were other tunnels that nobody knew about, that maybe had caved in and Nia found them. For all they knew, Nia might have discovered them weeks or months ago. Maybe years. And maybe she had _Azgeda_ in the city clearing some of them out.

“So are you saying if we find this tunnel we can get to Polis?” Michi frowned.

Clarke shook her head. “If Ontari and other _Azgeda_ are using it, no. I’d rather take my chances in the forest with Lexa’s scouts. Besides, _Skaikru_ is close.”

Michi scoffed. “Maybe that warrior was just saying that to make you do something stupid.” She glanced at Clarke’s makeshift torch. “Like try to escape so Nia has a reason to kill me and Lora first.”

Lora shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“What? It could be true.”

“He has too much to lose,” Clarke said. “Saying something like that accomplishes nothing for him. After all, he thinks we’re stuck in here—”

“We are,” Michi retorted.

“No. We’re not.”

“You keep saying that. What are you going to do? Suddenly shrink down and crawl under the door?” Michi kicked at a loose stone and it shot across the room where it hit the wall with a sharp click.

“She has a point,” Lora admitted, looking at Clarke. “We can’t get that other door open.”

Clarke chewed her lip again. She had wanted to wait until the last possible moment to let them know that she had bombs, but clearly that strategy wasn’t going to work. She motioned them closer and spoke quietly. “I have two explosives—”

“What the hell?” Michi said in a harsh whisper. “Where?”

“In my pockets. They’re small. A friend of mine at Arkadia made them.”

“And you’re just telling us this now?” Michi put her hands on her hips and glared even harder.

“Need to know,” Clarke shot back. “The less you knew about what I actually had, the better for all of us. And you might have told Nia about it.”

“Now Clarke has a point,” Lora said.

Michi turned her glare on her. “Whose side are you on?”

“Ours.” Lora glared right back at her. “Which means I’m throwing in with Clarke. She may be an asshole, but she’s the only one making sense and she’s been proactive. All you’ve done is complain.”

“Fine. When Queen Sky Crew decides to break us out, just let me know. I’ll be over here.” She went and sat down, back against a wall.

“We need you, too,” Clarke said. “I may be an asshole, but I’m not leaving anyone behind.”

“Oh, really?” Yet again Michi held her hand up with the brand.

“When circumstances change, you have to be willing to work with what you’ve got. We’re all in this together, like it or not, and if you want to get out of here, help. Once we do that, go right back to doing what you seem to do best, which is be pissed at the world.”

Nobody said anything for a moment and instead Lora looked at Clarke then Michi then Clarke again.

“Clarke raises another good point,” she said with mock gravitas. “And now to Michi for rebuttal.”

Clarke and Michi stared at her for a few beats, the absurdity of the statement in this situation making Clarke want to laugh. She clamped her teeth together but it was no use. The laugh escaped. Michi scowled, which only made Lora laugh, too.

“This isn’t funny.” Michi stood up.

“It kind of is,” Lora said, trying to keep her laughter quiet which resulted in a series of snorts.

That set Clarke to laughing more and Michi finally half-smiled.

“Come on,” Lora managed. “I need a rebuttal. Don’t let me down.”

Clarke doubled over, trying not to be too loud, but it felt good, to release some tension and besides, Michi was laughing now, too, which only made her laugh more.

“Shit, why are we even laughing?” Michi said between gasps.

“Stress.” Lora took a deep breath. “And it was funny.”

“Quit it.” Michi leaned against the wall. “You’ll make me pee. And I am not doing that in here.”

“That’ll work as a rebuttal,” Lora said. “Piss on you, Clarke.”

Michi held her sides, trying to catch her breath. “Stop,” she said. “Seriously.”

Clarke finally stopped laughing and wiped her eyes. “Okay. Hold up for a minute. Let’s listen.”

Lora wiped her face and Michi got up again. They all lapsed into silence and Clarke stood near the door the guards used. She didn’t hear anything, so she put her ear against it. Still nothing, but that didn’t mean anything. The guards might not be right next to the door.

Somebody rushed by overhead, a shadow across the grate. They waited a few more breaths and Clarke listened at the door again. Still nothing—wait. Voices, both male. She held up her hand to keep the others quiet while she strained to hear through the metal.

“— _Skaikru_?”

“I thought I saw one.” He said something else she didn’t catch.

“There’s no way _Skaikru_ is close,” the other said.

Another shadow passed over the grate and the voices on the other side of the door moved away.

“Well?” Michi whispered.

“It sounds like a warrior saw _Skaikru_ but the other one doesn’t believe it.” She wondered how many currently with Nia were willing to battle _Skaikru_ and _kongeda_ forces. Lexa wouldn’t leave _Skaikru_ to such a situation without help. Her forces had to be close, getting into position. Given Ontari’s statement that Lexa was still in Polis, she may have stayed in the city to deal with Nia’s threat about the water. Or she would be joining _Skaikru_ later. Clarke ached to see her, ached to feel her pressed close. But right now, she wanted out of this damn cell and she wanted Nia neutralized, whatever form that took. She listened at the door for a while, but heard nothing else.

“Okay, let’s get this figured out. But stay alert.” She kept her voice down. “We need to figure out how to prop the door open because the explosives are pressure-sensitive. They don’t operate on a timer, and we’re going to have to throw it at the other door.” Clarke was already at the door she and Michi had gotten open earlier and she opened it wider, gauging how far from them the second door was. She estimated ten paces away, the tiled walls of the corridor roughly as wide as two people standing side-by-side. That would contain the explosion in a relatively confined area. Was it better to prop this door open or throw the mini-mine and then pull this door closed before it landed?

“You'll throw it? Down there?” Lora peered over Clarke’s shoulder.

“That’s the idea. It’ll explode when it hits something.”

“Aim for the floor in front of the door,” Michi said. “If you throw it at the door, there’s a chance it might bounce off and explode back toward us.”

“Should we prop the door or use it as a blast shield?” Lora looked at Michi.

“I’m going to say prop it. That way we can toss it in there like this.” She positioned herself next to the open doorway, chest against the wall, and demonstrated an underhanded toss with her left hand into the cramped corridor. “Then the thrower can just take cover like this.” She crouched, protected by the wall. “Otherwise, somebody has to stand on the other side of the door and push it closed after a toss.”

She was right. If they did it that way, with someone else on the other side of the doorway who pushed the door closed, that person might not have enough time to do what needed to be done and she’d be injured.

“I’ll throw it,” Clarke said, and Michi looked at her, skeptical.

“Why you?” Lora asked.

“I’m left-handed.”

Lora cocked her head. “That’s legitimate, for how you’ll be standing behind the wall. But how about we all practice first? With rocks?”

“Good idea.” Michi helped her gather a few small stones from the floor of the cell. Lora kept watch while Michi then Clarke each tossed two stones at the target door. One of Michi’s hit the wall next to the door and the other fell a couple feet short. She moved so Clarke could take a turn.

“Aim for the floor right in front,” Michi said when Clarke’s first stone hit the door below the handle and bounced back onto the floor. She tried again and this time the stone hit the floor a foot away from the door’s base. “Yeah,” Michi said. “Do that a couple more times.” She handed Clarke two more stones and she tossed them. Both hit the floor near the door.

“That’ll do it.” Michi actually smiled. “Let’s find something to hold the door open.”

“This.” Clarke held up the flat piece of metal she’d used earlier to pry the door open.

“Are we ready to do this now?” Michi asked. “Because once we prop that door open, it’ll be pretty obvious we’re up to something if they decide to check on us.” She motioned at the door on the other side of the room that the warriors used.

Somebody shouted from above and all three froze, staring up at the grate. The shout repeated and then a string of Trigedasleng.

“What’s going on?” Lora asked, keeping her own voice down.

“I didn’t catch it all, but it sounded like a warning.”

“Somebody’s coming,” Lora said and Michi pushed the other door closed. All three scrambled to get their cords looped around their wrists before they sat down, backs against the closest wall.

Seconds later the door opened and the warrior who had been helping Clarke stepped in. He glanced at them, then over his shoulder, then back at them. “ _Skaikru_ is very close,” he said. “But they have been seen. You must go.”

“Go?” Michi stared at him then Clarke.

“Yes. I will leave this door unlocked. When you hear my signal, leave. Take the steps we used this morning.”

A shout sounded above and all four of them looked up at the grate. He backed out of the room and closed the door. Clarke pulled her wrists free.

“So his way or our way?” Lora asked as she stood.

“His way takes us out of here faster.” Michi took the cords that had been on her wrists and shoved them into her pocket.

“But right into _Azgeda_ ,” Clarke said.

“They’ll come anyway when we blow the door.”

“So we make it harder to get in.” Clarke handed the flat piece of metal to Michi. “Shove that under the other door.”

“What about propping ours open?”

“We might not need to. It scrapes on the floor, after all.”

More shouting erupted above and Michi shoved the piece of metal under the other door. While she worked on that, Clarke took one of the mini-mines out of her pocket and activated it the way Raven had shown her.

“That’s it?” Lora looked at it. “Wow. How big an explosion are we going to get?”

“It has a lot of capability.” Clarke remembered the explosion that appeared on the video monitors in the mountain when Gina had used one at Nia’s camp. “So we need to not be near the doorway.”

“Got it,” Michi said. “It’s wedged in there pretty good.” She joined Clarke and Lora. “Let’s do this.” She shoved the other door open as wide as it would go, which was about halfway open before it jammed on the floor.

“I don’t think that gives Clarke enough room.” Lora shoved harder against the door and it gave maybe another inch.

“It’ll do,” Clarke said. “Get behind me.”

She hefted the mine and stared down the narrow corridor to the other door. If this didn’t work, the explosion might cause a cave-in and then they’d have to go out the other way, and that might make them even bigger targets. She was counting on Nia not knowing that there was another passage out of this room, so there would be no _Azgeda_ to deal with.

More shouting, this time outside the other door and Clarke thought she heard the sound of metal on metal, like blade on blade. No more waiting. She positioned herself for the throw as something thumped against the other door.

“Here we go,” she muttered, moving her arm back for the toss.

And then came the muffled _whumpf_ of an explosion. Loud enough that it had to be close.

“What the hell?” Michi said and they all stared up at the grate.

“ _Skaikru_ ,” Clarke said. It had to be. She wanted to cheer. Another explosion and then another. And three more. “Raven, I love you,” she muttered. From above, people were screaming and shouting and someone ran over the grate, yelling for help in Trigedasleng.

Four more explosions followed in quick succession.

“Should we wait?” Lora asked, her eyes wide after the fourth.

“Hell, no. Get ready. Cover your ears and brace.” Clarke turned and tossed the mine down the corridor and jerked out of the doorway and flattened herself against the wall, fingers in her ears. A second later the explosion from the mini-mine shook the room and knocked them all to their knees. Smoke, dust, and bits of tile and stone jetted out of the corridor into their cell and Clarke heard debris raining onto the floor.

Someone was banging on the other door, a rhythmic thumping. Clarke coughed and got to her feet. Lora was already up, helping Michi.

“Everybody okay?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah,” Lora said. “Go see if it worked.”

Clarke pulled her shirt up over her mouth and nose and peered down the corridor. The dust cleared for a moment, allowing her to see that the other door had been blown open. One of the walls had partially collapsed, too, but they could navigate the rubble. Weak flames still licked at whatever small bits of fuel they had found in the building materials and Clarke took the cloth-wrapped piece of metal out of her pocket and held it to the closest bit of flame. It took.

“Let’s go,” she said, and began picking her way over the stone. “Be careful.”

“Shit,” Michi muttered.

“What?” Clarke stopped.

“Nothing. Tripped.”

She didn’t watch to make sure they followed her, and instead kept her right hand on the intact wall as she held her torch up with her left. Rubble had spilled into the corridor beyond the blown door, but much less than behind them. She stumbled over it and waited for Lora and Michi.

When they joined her, she wrapped one of the cords that had bound her wrists around her makeshift torch. “Stay close,” she said, and started walking as fast as she dared in the unknown confines of this passageway. But the continued breeze on her face told her that somewhere ahead, there was a way out, and a way for Lexa to find her.

###

Lexa crouched and stared through the underbrush. They were barely a mile away from Polis and she wondered how Nia had found these tunnels when she hadn’t known of them. It was possible other _Trikru_ did, from other villages, and it was even possible that someone in _Azgeda_ had heard about them through a merchant or a warrior’s tale. Regardless, she would ensure another search outside the city and check with villages and other clans to create more accurate maps.

She flexed her fingers again, anticipating the hilts of her swords. She was not so arrogant to presume that she would emerge unscathed this day. Or that she would even survive. Life on the ground was always uncertain, but she was _Heda_ and she knew the prices it sometimes entailed. She also knew that this day, she had no intention of either yielding or dying, of leaving without Clarke, or of allowing Nia’s plans to continue.

This day, rather than accept that she may meet death, she instead welcomed it as a companion she would unleash. This day, death was a fellow warrior and she was prepared to guide it.

Tam crouched next to her, touched Lexa’s arm, and shook her head. No sign of _Azgeda_. Lexa nodded and whistled, a specific birdcall, and waited. An answering birdcall sounded seconds later. She moved forward with Tam, keeping hidden, and whistled again after another few dozen paces. The response came, much closer now, and Lincoln emerged from behind a tree, hand raised in an “all clear” gesture.

Lexa and the other warriors with her stood and he nodded as he approached.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said. “You are well?”

“ _Sha_. _En_ _Skaikru_?”

“ _Ogud_.” 1

“ _Hani Skaikru ste hir_?” 2

“ _Fitin_.” 3

That was a good number. Enough to make a difference but not too many to be obvious.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said in a low, urgent voice and immediately they all stopped and disappeared into the surrounding forest. Tam hunkered near Lexa and pointed to her own eyes, then at something else. Someone was approaching. Tam nocked an arrow and looked at her, an unspoken communication that she would fire on Lexa’s signal. Lexa heard the _Azgeda_ warrior before she saw him, and when she did see him, it seemed that he was looking for something. And then he disappeared.

One of the tunnels. Lexa looked over at Lincoln and he made a series of hand signs that confirmed her suspicions. They waited a while, but no other _Azgeda_ appeared. Tam put her arrow back in her quiver and Lincoln led them away from where the warrior had gone underground.

They moved quickly and quietly until Lincoln stopped and motioned at a pile of rubble, nearly as tall as him, but overgrown and moss-covered. He whistled a birdcall and the brush piled at the base of the rubble moved and Wash appeared, rising from below.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said with a quick smile and he motioned for them to come with him, down a set of concrete steps into a tunnel.

“What is this place?” she asked when they were all underground, standing close together in the bits of light that the brush didn’t completely block.

“Tunnels we didn’t find before now,” Wash said as he turned a flashlight on. “Nia is not using this one, probably because it doesn’t go anywhere. Farther in, it is blocked with stone. But it makes an excellent place to stay out of sight.” He led them a few dozen paces from the entrance and Lexa heard voices and saw a patch of light emanating from either another passage or a room to the left, a good distance away.

Lexa strode down the tunnel after Wash, her coat swirling around her boots, leather creaking. Tam walked next to her while two warriors walked behind them. They passed three _Skaikru_ who immediately moved to give them room, staring at them wide-eyed in the light from Wash’s flashlight. She heard them fall in behind her guards, keeping a distance between them. As they should. She was in no mood to placate.

This tunnel was like those Wash had discovered near Tondc, with smooth, tiled walls and concrete floors. Some had connected there and others didn’t, and he had found different entrances, many choked with debris and rubble and thus impassable, so he couldn’t determine the network they created. Lexa guessed that these tunnels were like those, and probably connected somehow.

A light emanated from a doorway to the left and Wash led them through it, into a room that could easily fit thirty people, but clogged with rubble on one side. Lexa recognized a few of the _Skaikru_ gathered within but some of the others she didn’t. She was most surprised to see Abby, who she had thought was going to remain at Arkadia.

“Damn,” Raven said. “The Commander has definitely arrived.”

Lexa swept them all with her gaze, which alighted finally on Abby. “Chancellor,” she said. “I did not expect to see you here, but I am glad that you are.” Her words seemed to disarm her, and Abby's eyes widened slightly.

“Commander,” she said, tone suggesting nothing beyond a greeting.

Lexa approached Raven, every gaze in the room on her, accompanied by a few smiles and more than a few awed expressions. She gripped Raven’s forearm.

“Thank you, _Reiven kom Skaikru_ , for your help.” She released her and did the same with Bellamy then addressed the other _Skaikru_. “And to all of you, as well. Your presence here is most appreciated.” She glanced at the floor, at what appeared to be a crude map. Small pieces of stone had been placed at various positions in a small area. A single lantern sat next to it.

“Tell me of this tunnel,” she said to Raven with a flick of her wrist.

“Good find, right? It’s a dead-ender, so unfortunately we can’t sneak into other tunnels and blow things up this way, but it is useful as a staging area, I believe Bellamy called it.”

“And this?” she motioned at the map. “Which stone is the entrance to this tunnel?”

“And that’s why you’re the Commander, figuring that out in a total of three seconds or so.” Raven pointed with her boot at one of the stones. “That’s us.”

“And this one is the entrance they seem to use the most.” Bellamy pointed at another stone, positioned a few inches away.”

“That’s north?” Lexa asked.

Bellamy nodded. “Yeah. Raven put explosives at these entry points,” he continued as he pointed at four other stones. “But not at the main entrance. Like we said, we’re going to force them out through that one, where we’ll have people waiting.”

“And the explosives are in place?” Lexa looked at Raven.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been busy since we last talked. Locked and loaded.”

Lexa pondered the map. Nia would have an alternate entrance. She would not make herself a target so readily. “How do the bombs work?”

“They’re on a timer. At your signal,” Raven said, “I’ll activate them and then we have fifteen minutes before they start going off. I’ve staggered them, for maximum confusion and crazy.” She grinned.

Lexa raised an eyebrow, almost amused.

“Don’t mind her,” Gina said. “It’s kind of her thing.”

Lexa didn’t miss the note of affection in Gina’s voice. She wondered if Raven returned it. “Have all of these entrances on this map been determined to serve Nia’s warriors?” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” Octavia said. “We’ve seen _Azgeda_ using each one. But the one Bellamy pointed out seems to get the most use.”

“Do any of the tunnels they’re using go to Polis?” Lexa looked up at her.

Octavia frowned. “Not that we’ve been able to figure out, but I guess that’s possible.”

“It would make it easy to get _Azgeda_ and others in and out of the city,” Lexa said. The _Azgeda_ she had questioned the night before didn’t seem to know anything about a tunnel that Nia was using to put loyalists in Polis, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t one. She may not have revealed it to all.

“Yeah, it would. And maybe that’s how she’s managed to get poison into the city.”

Lexa looked at Monty. He was one of the quiet _Skaikru_ , she remembered, imprisoned twice in the mountain, and good with tech.

“If she manages to pull it off,” he continued, “no matter what form the poison takes, we can help filter the water. We’ve got some things we can try.”

Lexa didn’t miss Abby’s frown and the glance she threw at him. The Chancellor might not want to help, though she would because Kane would push her to do it, and so would Clarke. Once Clarke was safe. And once Lexa had laid waste to all of Nia’s plans. But primary in her mind and heart was Clarke’s safety. With that assured, there was no place Nia could hide.

“I have scouts checking near the city for possible entrances,” Tam said. “The ones in this area have instructions not to engage _Azgeda_. Only to watch, to see what else we might learn. Once the explosions occur, however, they will join us.”

“We don’t know where Nia is,” Raven said. “She has to be using one of these entrances, but we’re not sure which.”

“Ultimately, we’ll find her,” Bellamy said. “Because when she loses most of her warriors, she won’t have many places to go.”

“She would not make herself so easy a target.” Lexa looked at Bellamy. “Though I do agree that decreasing her forces helps.”

“We also haven’t been able to pinpoint a location for Clarke.” Octavia said what Lexa had been thinking and Lexa didn’t need to look at Abby to feel the weight of her gaze.

“We will.” Bellamy put his hands on his hips and looked from Octavia to Lexa, as if defying either of them to disagree with him.

“I’m guessing she’s somewhere in this area, too.” Raven was looking at the map. “Because Nia needs her as leverage and Clarke is a major pain in the ass, so trying to transport her any distance would be a chore. She’d keep her close.” It must have occurred to her how that sounded, because Gina cleared her throat and shoulder-bumped her.

Raven looked up at Lexa. “I meant that Clarke is a badass, and would make it really difficult on someone to carry out a long-distance kidnap.”

Lexa flashed her a smile. “I know. Clarke is…Clarke.” She glanced at Octavia, who was studying her, expression unreadable, but she looked away. Abby was staring at her again as well, before she turned her attention back to the map.

“Okay. So how do you want to do this?” Bellamy looked at Lexa and she appreciated what Clarke did about him in his willingness to execute orders and consider other possibilities. She also appreciated his loyalty to Clarke, and she knew that was the primary reason he was here. It was probably the primary reason any of these _Skaikru_ were here. The _kongeda_ was secondary.

“I want three parties of three to enter these tunnels—” she pointed at three stones near the stone that designated the main entrance, “after the explosions to clear them of _Azgeda_ and look for Clarke.”

“And Nia,” Raven said.

“Nia will not be in these tunnels.” Lexa glanced at Bellamy, then Tam. “She will have an alternate route. Tam, I want three scouts on the perimeter to look for her. Send one other to Polis to alert the gates and the other scouts outside the city. If there is a tunnel that connects to the city that we are not aware of, she may use it. Or it may have an entrance close to the city, and scouts there can watch for her and other _Azgeda_. Our first objective is thus to clear the tunnels and make Nia’s forces ineffective.”

“What about Clarke?” Bellamy asked.

Lexa met his gaze. “Nia will take her. She needs her as leverage. It is possible, however, that Clarke may be able to use the explosions to her advantage, as well. And if she manages to do that, she will need our help in the tunnels.”

“Which is why I suddenly like your idea of teams in the tunnels even more,” Raven said.

“How about archers?” Octavia asked.

“Yes. At each entrance.” She took the three mini-mines out of her pockets and held them out to Raven. “I think you will be better able to put these to use than I.”

“Where did you—oh. The ones I sent to Clarke.” She took them. “Aren’t you going into the tunnels?”

“Yes.”

“Then you might need one.”

“My hands will be occupied,” she said, grim, and she touched the hilt of one of her swords.

“Oh. Right.” She glanced at Bellamy. “Let’s name teams and I’ll distribute the Ravenators.”

Gina rolled her eyes. “Did you seriously just call them that?”

“It’s my thing, G. That’s how I roll.” She waggled her eyebrows and Lexa decided that yes, Raven returned Gina’s affections. Did others see something similar between her and Clarke when they interacted publicly? She had spent so many years burying her emotions that it surprised her, how easy it was in some ways for Clarke to bring them out. How easy it was to relax around her. How much of that was visible outside the time they made for each other? She envied Raven and Gina, that they could be affectionate without repercussion.

“I’ll be in one team,” Bellamy said. “Lexa, I think you should be in another. O, do you want a team?”

“Making sure we have strong leadership in all three?” Octavia said, a teasing dig.

“Something like that.” He smiled, but Lexa saw the strain in it. He didn’t want to give her the option, but felt bound to do it because he couldn’t constrain Octavia’s spirit. A protector, but still learning the limits of his role.

“Wash, you go with Bellamy,” Lexa said.

“I’ll go with him, too.” Monty stepped forward.

“I’ll go with Octavia.” Harper raised her hand and Monty frowned.

“Me, too,” said a tall, lanky young man with a shock of black hair. Lexa recognized him as Sam, from the mountain.

Raven handed Harper a mini-mine. “Remember how to use it?”

“Oh, yeah.” She took it and put it in her pocket.

“I will accompany _Heda_ ,” Lincoln said, throwing a glance at Octavia, who nodded at him.

“Good,” Raven said, and she handed him a mini-mine, too. “You okay with this? Lexa’s hands will be occupied.”

“Yes.”

“I, too, will go with _Heda_ ,” Tam said.

Lexa looked at her. “ _Mochof_ , but I need you to coordinate forces outside and I need your archery skills there, as well.”

Tam’s jaw clenched but she nodded. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“I’ll go with Lexa.”

“Jasper—” Monty started.

“I want to.”

No one spoke, but Lexa noted the wariness and concern that traveled across _Skaikru_ faces. Clarke hadn’t spoken much about him, but she knew he had lost someone at the mountain the first time, but he owed Clarke his life if not for the first time at the mountain, most definitely the second.

“Don’t worry. I’ll listen to the Commander,” he said with a grin.

Bellamy looked at Lexa, his expression giving her an out if she wanted it.

“If _Jaspa kom Skaikru_ wishes to come with me and Lincoln, then I welcome him.” She sensed something personal behind his request, and whatever it was would help keep him focused.

Bellamy shrugged. “Okay. We’ve got our teams. Anybody have any preference on tunnels?”

“How about in order of explosions?” Raven said. “This tunnel—” she pointed at a stone that designated a tunnel to the left of the one that represented the main entrance, “is set to blow first.” She pointed at a stone to the right of the main entrance stone. “This one will go off second, and this one third.” She tapped a stone to the right of the second. “Also,” she added, “there are ten bombs. Five are at entrances. I put the other five in this area.” She delineated a semicircle just behind the stone that served as the symbol for the main entrance on the crude map. “So pay attention to the count. That’ll tell you when you all can take a shot at the main entrance.”

“Okay,” Bellamy said. “Since we won’t be going into the main one until Tam and other forces clear as many _Azgeda_ as possible in that area.”

“Once that is done,” Lexa said, “then Tam will take a team into that tunnel.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” This seemed to please her.

“How about my team in the tunnel that blows first and Lexa’s team in the tunnel that blows second?” Bellamy asked.

“Wait. I’ll take the second one instead,” Octavia said. She pointed at the stone that represented the tunnel where Raven’s third explosion was set. “ _Heda_ , I think this one might actually hook into the main tunnel.”

And might thus be an alternate entrance for Nia. Lexa nodded. “Very well.”

“How much time do you need to get your warriors in place?” Bellamy asked her. “Because once Raven activates the timer on the bombs, we’ll have fifteen minutes. I can get my people ready now.”

“Then it shall be so. Tam is coordinating _Trikru_. Who is coordinating _Skaikru_?”

“Miller.” Bellamy motioned at a bearded man with close-cropped dark hair dressed in the manner of _Skaikru_ guard, in black trousers and a thick, padded jacket like Bellamy’s. He gave Lexa a nod. She appreciated his quiet but competent demeanor.

“Tam, work with _Millah kom Skaikru_ on warrior placement near the main entrance.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“You good with that, Miller?” Bellamy asked.

“Yep.”

Lexa appreciated that, too. No wasted breath on too many words.

“We ready?” Bellamy looked at her.

“Yes.” She looked at Raven and gave her a single nod.

“Yes,” Raven said with a smile. “Time to blow shit up.” She took a small metal object out of her pocket and pressed a button on it. “And…done. Fifteen minutes, people. Make ’em count.”

“Does every team have a radio?” Bellamy asked, raising his voice a little to be heard over the whispering. “Flashlights? All right. My team, arm up. Harper and Sam, you good? Jasper?”

Jasper patted the gun on his hip then bent down to pick up a length of pipe about as long as one of Lexa’s swords. “I prefer this, though.”

“Whatever works. Just be armed. And listen to your team leaders.” Bellamy motioned to his team. “Go to the entrance and wait for the first bomb before you leave.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said. “I do not like that you do not take more warriors with you.”

“There isn’t much room in the tunnels, and I need to be mobile.”

She frowned. “Very well. _Ste klir_.”

“ _En yu_.”

Tam nodded at Lincoln then walked with Miller out of the room.

“Good luck,” Octavia said to Lexa as she, Harper, and Sam followed Tam and Miller.

Lexa caught Bellamy’s eye and he walked over to her.

“We’ll find her,” he said. “And you’ll take care of Nia.” He smiled. “And then we can move on to the next crisis, whatever it is.”

She half-smiled. “You speak true.”

He lowered his voice. “I’m not sure I totally trust you, but Clarke does, and that’s enough, for now.”

She held his stare. “I will say the same of you.”

“Fair enough. Good luck.”

“And you.”

He jogged to catch up with Monty and Harper. Lincoln and Jasper waited a few paces away and she started toward them.

“Commander,” Abby said. She still stood near the makeshift map, arms crossed.

Lexa waited.

“Clarke mentioned that the bombs in the tower caused some serious injuries. She requested medical supplies and someone to help. I’m that someone.”

“Your presence is appreciated. Clarke mentioned that she was requesting medical help, but I did not expect that you would be able to come. I am glad you did.” She noted how they all spoke of Clarke as if she were soon to be with them, as if she wasn’t in Nia’s clutches, even though there was, after all, a possibility that Nia had already—Lexa stopped that thought. She would not believe that. Could not.

Abby gave her a hard stare. “I’m here for my daughter.”

In all senses, Lexa heard in her tone. She was there per Clarke’s request for medical help and also to help locate her. “As am I,” Lexa said, and she wished Kane was here. Abby, like Bellamy, let emotions override pragmatism, especially in situations like this. Kane helped mitigate that. “And I am here for all of us,” she added.

“I want to trust you,” Abby said. “And right now, I will, for Clarke’s sake. But if you do here what you did at Mt. Weather the first time, I will make your life an absolute living hell.” In the set of her jaw and the flash of her eyes, Lexa saw Clarke, saw the iron edge of her will and the flash of her spirit and the stubbornness that had kept her alive since she came to the ground.

“I know,” Lexa said, and it might have disarmed Abby a bit, the quiet acknowledgement and acceptance she granted her in those two words.

“Just so we understand each other.”

“Yes, _Abi kom Skaikru_. We do.”

“Good. Now find my daughter.”

Lexa held her gaze for a weighted moment before she gave her a nod and joined Jasper and Lincoln.

“I recommend keeping Abby on your good side,” Jasper said and Lincoln shot him a look then glanced at Lexa, as if waiting for her reaction.

“In this you are correct,” she said. “And I recommend that you stay on _my_ good side.” Her tone was mild, but her meaning clear. “Come. We must get into position.” She didn’t wait for them and she heard them scramble to keep up with her as she moved quickly down the corridor to the tunnel’s entrance, where _Skaikru_ and a few _Trikru_ waited at the base of the steps that would take them topside.

Bellamy’s team was positioned to go first, then Octavia’s. She motioned at her to stand near her.

“Not long now.” Octavia glanced at Bellamy then at Harper and Sam. “Ready?”

“Like we have a choice,” Sam said, but he smiled.

“When the first bomb goes off, we’re moving out,” Bellamy said. “Stay low and try to keep trees and underbrush between you and the entrance you’re headed for. They will come out armed, even if they’re disoriented.” He paused. “Lethal force, unless they disarm and surrender.”

Lexa inhaled then exhaled in slow, measured breaths and as she relaxed, her focus sharpened. She looked at Lincoln and Jasper.

“Ready?” she asked, directed at Jasper since Lincoln’s expression answered her question.

He nodded.

“Almost time.” Raven had arrived with Gina. They stood at the back of the line. “Thirty seconds.”

Lexa looked at Wash. He gave her a barely perceptible nod. Tam did the same.

“Ten seconds,” Raven said.

“All right,” Bellamy said. “Stay low and good luck.”

“Five.”

Lexa tensed then relaxed.

“And…here we go.” Raven looked up at the slivers of light visible through the brush covering the entrance.

Lexa felt and heard the first explosion, as it seemed to ripple through the ground, thrumming beneath her feet and releasing in a muffled boom. She was already racing up the steps behind Octavia before it rumbled to a stop, like distant thunder and as she emerged from the ground, she saw smoke billowing above the trees a few dozen yards to her left, and she heard yelling.

Bellamy and his team were already on the move when another explosion rocked the forest, and another cloud of thick, black smoke rose over the trees to her right. Octavia directed her team into a stand of trees just as a third explosion sounded in the direction she was running, and she paused for a moment then continued, Harper and Sam right behind her.

Lexa drew her swords and, with a quick glance to make sure Lincoln and Jasper were still near, she ran in the direction of the third explosion, dodging between trees and leaping easily over underbrush. Other explosions tore the air. She automatically counted. Three in quick succession.

An _Azgeda_ warrior staggered out of the smoke that filled the forest, coughing and wheezing. Lexa was on him before he had time to take another breath, and she pulled her sword out of his chest before he hit the ground.

Three more _Azgeda_ appeared. Lincoln engaged one and took him down quickly while Lexa took care of another. The third launched himself at Jasper but Lexa was faster and cut him down before Jasper had a chance to defend himself.

“Thanks,” he said and Lexa motioned for him to keep following her. Another explosion rippled through the forest, then three more after that. Ten, she calculated, and she caught glimpses through the smoke and dust of _Skaikru_ forces advancing toward the tunnel entrances that experienced the first three explosions.

A few paces later and she stared down into a tunnel, its steps coated with dirt and chunks of stone from Raven’s bomb, which had gouged a wound in the earth nearby. Another explosion sounded and she stopped, swords poised. Eleven.

“That was one too many,” Jasper said, as he looked around.

Lexa nodded. Clarke? She couldn’t pinpoint the location, since it was muffled as if underground, but she smiled. Nia didn’t have any more bombs. There was only one other person who might.

Lincoln started down the steps into the tunnel, knife in one hand, sword in the other. She followed, Jasper right behind. Dust hung in the air and they stood for a few moments, listening. Screaming and gunshots above. Nothing here except their breathing. Lincoln sheathed his knife and removed a flashlight from his pocket. He turned it on and shined it around, its beam slicing through the dust hanging in the air. He trained it onto the floor and looked at Lexa, a question in his eyes. She nodded and they started forward.

The tunnel’s floor was uneven and debris had scattered across it for the first few paces. The farther they got from the entrance, the less debris and dust. Lexa counted paces from the entrance and when they had nearly hit a hundred, she moved quickly around Lincoln and motioned for him to stop. He and Jasper did.

A sound ahead. The scrape of a boot on stone. Lexa caught Lincoln’s eye and he nodded. She moved a few paces away and waited. And then a figure materialized a few meters away and Lexa realized whoever it was had emerged from a side passage. The figure froze and Lexa started toward him, swords up.

“ _Skaikru_?” the figure said. And then he saw Lexa and his eyes widened in the dim light of the flashlight. “ _Heda_.” He sighed, as if relieved, and slumped against the wall, hand clamped against his left side. Lexa smelled blood and saw that it coated his hands and shirt and streaked his face, caking his beard. She lowered her swords and Lincoln approached, training the flashlight’s beam on the man’s face.

“Where do your loyalties lie?” she asked him.

“Roan,” he said through his teeth, clearly in pain.

“They why are you here, in the company of Nia’s loyalists?”

“When Roan took _Azgeda_ , a few tried to return, but Nia had them killed and the rest of us said nothing more about it. I have a family, _Heda_. I did not wish to give Nia the satisfaction of depriving them.”

A story she had heard all too often. “Where is Nia now?”

“I do not know. When the explosions started, I tried to leave.” He looked down at his side, then at her. “I was not as successful as I hoped to be.”

“Who did this to you?”

“Two of Nia’s warriors.”

“Your own people did this to you? Why?”

He grimaced. “They thought I was careless and allowed _Wanheda_ an opportunity to escape.”

Lexa kept her expression impassive with a mighty effort. “ _Wanheda_ is here?”

“ _Sha_. I left the door of her cell unlocked, but she blocked it with something and then there was an explosion from inside the room.”

The eleventh bomb they had heard. “And then what happened?”

“Two warriors arrived. One stabbed me then they kicked the door in. _Wanheda_ and the two _natrona_ were able to use some kind of tech to open another door into another passage. I don’t know how she still had this tech with her.”

A mistake on the part of Nia’s warriors for not searching her thoroughly. “Where is the cell?”

He gestured with his chin back over this shoulder. “Go into the adjoining passage. Turn right. It will take you to another passage. Turn right again. You will find the cell near stairs.”

“Is there a passage from here to Polis?” she asked, sensing that he was fading.

“ _Sha_. There is an exit near the northeast corner of the city. Nia has been sending Ontari there, where she waits for messages from _Azgeda_ in the city.” And with that he slipped down the wall to the floor, where he sat, breathing heavily. “I regret that I cannot aid you further, _Heda_ , but my fight may soon be over. _Ai laik Erol kom Azgeda_. _Ai houmon laik Mandia_. _Beja_ , _tel em op, chit don kom au hir_.” 4

Lexa caught Lincoln’s eye and he nodded.

Jasper looked from him to Lexa. “So we’re leaving him?”

She was about to reply when somebody shouted from the entrance.

“ _Heda_? _Yu ste hir_?”

“ _Sha_ ,” she called back and within a few moments, three of her warriors joined her.

“Bellamy has cleared his tunnel. He is working with Tam on the main entrance,” one said.

“ _Os_. Two of you take _Erol kom Azgeda_ to Abby. He is an ally.”

The woman and one of the men who had joined them hefted Erol to his feet and he hissed at the pain but took his hand off his side so he could brace himself on the man’s shoulder.

“Find Tam,” Lexa directed them. “Tell her there is a tunnel entrance near the northeast corner of the city.”

“ _Sha_ ,” the woman said who braced Erol’s other side.

“ _Yu gonplai nou ste odon kom nau_ ,”5 Lexa said to him. She nodded at the warriors and they half-carried him back toward the entrance. “Watch the entrance,” she said to the third warrior.

He nodded and jogged after the others.

“Come,” she said to Jasper and Lincoln.

“Clarke won’t be in that cell anymore,” Jasper said as they entered the adjoining passageway and turned right.

“I would hope not. But we don’t know which passage she found unless we go there first.” And Nia might still be in the vicinity, though she may have taken the tunnel to Polis. Or she may have gone after Clarke. If that was the case, they might be able to find them both. She followed Lincoln into the adjoining passage, Jasper right behind her.

After another few dozen paces, they came to another tunnel and Lincoln turned right, the beam of the flashlight stabbing into the darkness but showing nothing beyond the tile of the walls and ceiling. Lincoln held his hand up and Lexa stopped. Jasper stood next to her, waiting. Lincoln held up two fingers, just visible, and Lexa moved closer to him. Jasper lingered behind them and Lexa held her hand up at him, signaling for him to stay. He nodded and she moved in front of Lincoln, who turned the flashlight off.

Light bounced against the walls ahead of them, as if whoever held the torch was moving quickly. She ran toward them, Lincoln with her, and the two _Azgeda_ warriors slid to a stop when they realized what was happening. One immediately attacked Lexa, but he was not very skilled, she saw, and she dispatched him quickly with a slice across his throat that cast blood onto the wall.

The second warrior dropped the torch as Lincoln easily disarmed him and shoved him against the wall, effectively pinning him, his knife against the warrior’s throat. Jasper scooped the torch up and Lexa gave her sword a flick to shake the blood off its tip before she addressed the _Azgeda_ warrior. His eyes widened when he saw her.

“ _Weron yu plana kamp raun_?” 6 she asked.

“ _Ai nou get in_ ,”7 he said through his clenched teeth.

She nodded at Lincoln and he pressed his knife harder against the man’s throat, drawing blood.

“I don’t know,” he repeated. “The explosions started and that was the last I saw of her.”

“Where was this?”

“Go down this passage to the next. Go right. The first room to the right is where she was last. If you go past that room, you come to another room, where _Wanheda_ was.”

“Was?” Lexa pressed.

“There was an explosion there after the others. When we finally got into the room, she was gone, through another door.”

“Show me.”

Lincoln stepped away from him at Lexa’s direction and kicked the man’s short sword away. “ _Heda_ _don ron reinseden op_. _Gyon au_.” 8

The warrior walked back the way he had come, Lincoln’s short sword at his back. He led them to another tunnel and turned right, as Erol had said to do, into another tunnel, this one privy to daylight that spilled into it from what had to be an access to the outside at the far end. Lexa guessed steps granted the access, and that the doorway near it had been Clarke’s cell. The warrior stopped and pointed to his right.

“This is where Nia was last.”

Jasper pushed the door open with his foot and held the torch up. “Clear,” he said, and Lexa went in. Someone had been here. Some clothing and a few sleeping furs were strewn on the floor.

“Down there is the cell,” the warrior said, pointing.

Lexa sheathed her swords and walked quickly toward it, and though she knew Clarke was no longer there, her heart sped up anyway. The door stood open and she stopped on the threshold, scanning the room’s interior. She saw the sky through the grate in the ceiling, but it was the door on the opposite side of the room that caught her attention. It had been blown completely open and was dented from debris flung at it by the force of the explosion. She walked to it, avoiding the larger pieces of stone and other debris that Clarke’s mini-mine had left.

“Yep,” Jasper said behind her. “Clarke was definitely here.”

She gave him a look and took the torch then peered through the doorway. A second door a few paces beyond had also been blown open and the narrow hallway between this door and that one was full of rubble, some from one of the walls that had partially collapsed. But there was room to get through, and the tunnel continued beyond the second door. She felt a breeze on her face. The tunnel exited somewhere. Clarke would have figured that out, too. She stood for a moment, listening. Shouts and gunshots.

Lincoln entered the cell, without the _Azgeda_ warrior. “Something is happening above,” he said in a low voice. “I will check.”

Lexa nodded and handed the torch back to Jasper. “Wait here.” She followed Lincoln to the steps. The _Azgeda_ warrior they had brought with them was lying on the floor. She couldn’t tell if he was alive or dead but she didn’t care as she drew one of her swords and followed Lincoln up the steps. She heard more yelling and the clash of metal above.

This entrance was clear, and late afternoon light streamed in. Lincoln crouched and moved up almost to the top step. Lexa joined him and they lay still, listening.

“Wait,” he said, and a few moments later he straightened and disappeared into the nearby trees. She heard gunshots and more shouting to her left, in both English and Trigedasleng.

Lincoln returned and they descended halfway. “There are more _Azgeda_ than we thought. Perhaps forty or fifty, now, aboveground.”

“Coming from the city, then.”

“Maybe.”

A hissing and then voice emanated from her pocket and she sheathed her sword and dug her radio out.

“—Lexa, are you there? It’s Raven.”

“Yes. Go ahead.” She retreated a few steps and kept her voice low.

“Bellamy’s team cleared his tunnel. They didn’t need to use the mini-mine. They’re helping Tam at the main entrance. We’ve got a problem. A bunch more Ice Nation showed up.”

“Who’s leading them?”

“We can’t tell, but it doesn’t seem to be Nia.”

“How many?”

The radio lapsed into more hissing and Lexa held it against her chest to minimize the sound.

“Another thirty, is what I’m hearing. We’re going to need some help.”

“Very well. Hold as long as you can.”

“I think we can manage that. I have a few more things we can try. Out.”

Lexa turned the radio’s volume down and put it back in her pocket. She looked up at Lincoln. “Go to Polis. Find Indra. We need thirty more warriors.”

“Wait.”

Lexa turned and looked at Jasper, who was standing at the base of the steps.

“That leaves you with me,” he continued. “And I know you normally travel with a few trained warriors. I mean, I’m a cool guy, but I’m probably not the best security you could ask for.”

“Continue.”

“It’s better if you go with Lincoln. He can take you to our forces, where you’ll have backup. After he drops you off, he can go to Polis.”

Lexa studied him for a moment. “And what of you?”

“I’ll go look for Clarke. I’m not the best choice for a battle, but I’m okay in more confined spaces and with the element of surprise. You and Lincoln can move faster up there without me.”

“Give Jasper your flashlight,” she said to Lincoln.

He handed it to her and she gave it to Jasper.

“And the mini-mine.”

“No, you take that. Sounds like you’ll need it more up there. I’ve got a gun. And if things get that bad that I need a mine, then I’m screwed anyway.”

She joined him at the base of the steps. “Will the radio serve you better than me?”

“No. It doesn’t really work underground, and it’s not like these tunnels are that far away from the action.”

She saw from his expression that he was determined. “You’re certain of this?”

“Yeah.”

“Very well.”

His eyes widened and he smiled, expression wry. “Damn. You’re much easier to convince than Clarke.”

“We don’t have many choices. You seem to be making one that may work, given our situation.” She extended her arm and Jasper smiled again, surprised, and gripped her forearm.

“Clarke might be right about you,” he said as he let go. “You’re okay.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Go. Good luck.”

“You, too. And you, Lincoln.” He picked up his pipe and went back into the cell where Clarke had been and Lexa joined Lincoln on the steps.

“ _Ogud_?” he asked.

“ _Sha_.” She drew her swords and followed him into the forest, back toward the main entrance and the sounds of battle. A haze from the explosions still floated among the trees, adding an eerie pall to the late afternoon sunlight.

Lexa veered toward the sound of gunfire and she estimated it was happening near the main entrance. And then, as if someone had pulled a drape to expose a window, she and Lincoln were in the midst of a fight that four _Skaikru_ were on the verge of losing to six _Azgeda_.

A ragged cheer went up from the _Skaikru_ when she engaged the first _Azgeda_ and in a flurry of steel and feints, she brought him down and moved to the next, who was aided by another. They were well-trained, but she was better. Lexa ducked a vicious axe swing and sliced the warrior’s hamstring as she flowed into the next position, leaving him howling in pain as he collapsed.

Lincoln took the second man down and the two remaining _Azgeda_ retreated, but there was no time to assess because she saw Tam and two _Trikru_ outnumbered near what she knew had to be the main entrance to Nia’s tunnel complex. She ran toward it, cutting through a gauntlet of several _Azgeda_ , weaving an almost impenetrable field around herself with the movements of her blades. Bodies and a mist of blood marked her passage as she worked her way closer to Tam.

She felt the wind of a blade near her ear and she ducked as Tam rammed her sword into the warrior’s chest and jerked it free to avoid another attack by a different warrior wielding a spear. A knife blossomed in the warrior’s back and Lincoln retrieved it before moving on to the next fight.

They managed to break the attack, with archers on the perimeter helping drive the _Azgeda_ away from the entrance. Lexa let them run and she stood, panting, arms trembling slightly from exertion, the only sounds the groans of the wounded.

And then all around them, more _Azgeda_ appeared a few dozen paces away, interspersed among the trees. Three times as many as what they had just driven away. Lincoln and Tam took positions on either side of her, weapons ready. Ten paces behind them was the main entrance and they could probably make it, but it would be a difficult race through the tunnels.

But for Clarke, she would do it. She did not come this far to fall beneath anyone’s blade.

“When I signal,” Tam said, to her “the archers will fire and you will go to the tunnel. I’ll try to get a message to Polis for reinforcements.”

“No. All of us still standing here will go to the tunnel. Do you still have the mini-mine?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Lincoln said.

“Prepare it. We can use it to try to seal the entrance behind us.”

“Ready?” Tam asked. She raised her sword to the sky.

“ _Hod op_ ,” someone shouted and Lexa recognized Indra’s voice and then she saw her, pushing through the _Azgeda_ who had just shown up, Bellamy, Octavia, Wash, and Darya with her. Tam lowered her sword and Lexa relaxed, a wave of relief washing over her.

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said with a fierce smile when she drew near. “ _Roan kom Azgeda_ has sent this goodwill gesture. And I have brought more _kongeda_ warriors from Polis.”

“Though from what I saw, you could probably take on about this many and come out all right,” Bellamy said. Other _Skaikru_ approached, including Miller, Sam, Monty, and Harper.

Lincoln shrugged. “She is _Heda_.”

Lexa almost smiled. Instead, she nodded at Darya. “ _Mochof_ , _Darya kom Azgeda_. _Weron hainofa Roan kamp raun_?” 9

“Between here and Polis. He sent forces ahead to ensure that the _kongeda_ was fortified. What of Nia?”

“We still search,” Lexa said, and the statement was bitter on her tongue.

“Clarke?” Octavia asked.

“It appears she escaped from the cell where Nia was holding her. I want teams in every tunnel we currently know and I will accompany a team to the passage she used to escape.”

“Uh, where’s Jasper?” Monty asked and Lexa heard worry in his voice.

“He is searching for Clarke in that passage we think she used. We were there when we realized that more _Azgeda_ had shown up, and that we were needed back here. I was going to send Lincoln to Polis for reinforcements but Jasper wished to continue searching for Clarke. He felt he would be of more use belowground and that Lincoln should come with me here first before going to Polis.”

“Jasper actually said that?” Monty sounded skeptical.

“Yes, _Monti kom Skaikru_. He did not think it made sense for Lincoln to go to Polis from where we were because he did not feel he himself could be adequate protection for me.”

“That dumbass,” Monty said. “I can hear him saying that.”

“Okay, you heard the Commander,” Bellamy said. “Who’s going with her?”

Monty, Sam, Harper, Octavia, and Bellamy all raised their hands. Lincoln and Tam nodded at her.

Bellamy looked around, then looked at Lexa. “Here’s your team. Let’s go find Clarke and Jasper and then kick Nia’s ass.”

“I will coordinate teams with Wash to search the other tunnels, _Heda_ ,” Indra said.

“ _Os_. Work with Miller and Darya.” She turned to address Bellamy again when a muffled explosion sounded somewhere to her right, and far enough away that the only impact it had on those gathered around was that they all heard it.

“Mini-mine,” Octavia said. “Has to be Clarke.”

“Are we ready right now?” Bellamy addressed Lexa. “Because I say we find the origin of that explosion.”

Two, Lexa remembered. Clarke had two mini-mines. That was her last one, and she wouldn’t have used it unless absolutely necessary. Her chest clenched. “Indra, coordinate the other search teams. The rest of you, come with me.” And she was running again, away from the main entrance this time, ignoring the exhaustion she’d been carrying for days, and the protests of her muscles. Somewhere deep within, she tapped another reservoir, and a familiar calm and pinpoint focus coursed through her veins as she moved fluidly through the forest.

 _Ste yuj_ , _Klark_.

 

 _I’m coming for you_.

  
1 _Ogud_ : Ready [you’ve seen this]  
2 _Hani Skaikru ste hir_? How many _Skaikru_ are here?  
3 _Fitin_ : Fifteen  
4 _Ai laik Erol kom Azgeda_. _Ai houmon laik Mandia_. _Beja_ , _tel em op, chit don kom au hir_ : I’m Erol of/from _Azgeda_. My wife is Mandia. Please, tell her what happened here.  
5 _Yu gonplai nou ste odon kom nau_ : Your fight is not over yet  
6 _Weron yu plana kamp raun_? Where is your queen?  
7 _Ai nou get in_ : I don’t know  
8 _Heda_ _don ron reinseden op_. _Gyon au_ : _Heda_ gave an order. Go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY, all! So things are converging! Clarke managed to bust on out of their cell and Lexa is on-site multitasking, as usual. Here, that includes looking for Clarke, looking for Nia, and kicking ass.
> 
> Speaking of, where the hell did Nia go? Damn her...BUT FEAR NOT! All of this is soon to be revealed! MUAH HA HA!!!!
> 
> Here's the schedule, friends -- I have started the next installment and it should be ready next weekend (the 9th). Then my schedule gets super-insane after that and ermahgerd, we'll see what shakes out. I'll keep you posted. If not here, check with me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com).
> 
> UPDATE, 11 June: It's Sunday night and I'm almost done with the next installment, but it's not quite ready but might be tomorrow or Tuesday. Hang in there! This one's CRAY! Thanks, all.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me this long, and THANK YOU SO MUCH for the comments and kudos. They mean a lot to me, friends. They really do. And you can always hit me up with questions or whatever on Twitter/Tumblr. I do "ask me anything" on Tumblr. So go ahead. ;)
> 
> Some songs that accompanied me while writing this installment: Sigur Rós, "Sæglópur"; NAVVI, "Polychrome" (8Stem remix); Glades, "Dangerous"


	66. The Battles We Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to battle central, y'all. Clarke gets some help in the tunnels but then the wrong kind of company shows up. Meanwhile, Lexa and Skaikru are hot on Clarke's trail and end up dealing with the wrong kind of company, too. And Lexa may just fight the battle of her life.

Clarke tore another strip of cloth off the bottom of her shirt and carefully fed the end to the dying flame of her torch. It caught fire and she wrapped it around the end. Lora handed her another strip from her shirt and Clarke held on to it as they continued walking down the tunnel, following the breeze.

“Do you hear that?” Lora asked, keeping her voice down. She grabbed Clarke’s arm and they all stopped, listening.

“What?” Michi asked.

“Shh.” Lora pointed at the ceiling. “It sounds like gunshots.”

Clarke held her breath and focused on nothing but listening. She heard a distant crack and then another and maybe a couple more, but sound was severely hampered down here.

“She might be right,” Michi said.

“ _Skaikru_.” Clarke started walking again. If they could hear that down here, then there had to be an exit somewhere close.

“Do we have a plan?” Michi asked. “I’m thinking I don’t really want to poke my head above ground and get it shot off.”

“You’re always so pleasant to have around,” Lora said.

“Because I think it’s a good idea to have a plan?”

“Both of you shut up.” Clarke turned, holding the light so she could see them. “We don’t know who else is down here,” she said, keeping her voice low. “We’re looking for an exit. Once we find one, we’ll figure out what to do next.” She continued walking before either could respond and they walked in silence for a while, until they came to an adjoining tunnel that intersected from the right. Clarke stopped and held her finger to her lips as she listened. A breeze caused the low flame of her torch to tremble and she put her other hand up to protect it.

She motioned with her head and turned into the new tunnel, wrapping the strip of cloth Lora had given her around her torch, but as they walked, it seemed that the tunnel was actually growing lighter. Or at least decreasing in darkness. She glanced behind them. Definitely more light here. Good thing, too, because the last bit of flame on her torch died as remnants of charred cloth fell off it. She held onto the metal.

Outside light was filtering into the tunnel, Clarke guessed, and soon they saw the source, ahead on their left. A stairwell, like the one that had been outside their cell. And with the access to outside came the distinct sounds of battle. Shouting, screams, and gunshots, but not nearby.

“That can’t be good,” Michi muttered but Clarke ignored her and instead went up the stairs. The top was blocked by a rusted metal gate, partially covered by vines and undergrowth. She tested the door handle, but it didn’t give. The lock was probably rusted shut.

“Keep watch down below,” she directed Lora. “Michi, you keep watch right here.”

Michi muttered something else Clarke didn’t catch but she positioned herself opposite Clarke and leaned against the wall.

Clarke used the piece of metal that had served as a torch handle to try to jimmy the lock.

“Let me try,” Michi said after Clarke had been at it for a few minutes.

Clarke handed her the piece of metal and glanced down the stairs at Lora. “All good?”

Lora gave her a thumbs-up and Clarke now leaned against the wall, watching Michi but also watching the forest past her, between the bars of the gate.

“Almost.” Michi changed her position slightly. “And…got it.” She grinned at Clarke. “Not bad, huh?”

“Nice.” And then something glanced off one of the bars of the gate and hit the wall near Clarke. She stared, stunned, at the arrow where it fell. She grabbed Michi’s arm and tried to pull her down the stairs.

Another arrow flew past Clarke’s chest, this one making it between the bars. “Lora, get out of the way,” she shouted as she let go of Michi. “Come on.”

“They’ll get in. Let me try to lock this again.”

“No. Let’s go.”

“Just a second—” she yelped as an arrow sank into her left shoulder and Clarke moved so she could break Michi’s fall as the force of the arrow knocked her off balance. Another arrow hit the gate and Clarke helped Michi down the steps and pulled her to the side, out of the stairwell. Three more arrows clattered against the wall, clearly making it through the gate and down the stairs. Michi remained standing, but bent over.

“Oh, shit.” Lora moved next to Michi. “Shit. What do we do?”

“Can you straighten up?” Clarke asked.

Michi did, breathing through her teeth. “Fuck,” she whispered.

Clarke checked her back. “It didn’t go through. I need to push it through so I can break the end off.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Michi glared at her.

“It might be poisoned.”

“Shit,” Lora said again. “Let her do it.”

“All right. Okay. Give me a second.” Michi took a few deep breaths.

“Lora, pay attention to the gate,” Clarke said.

Another arrow sailed down the stairwell and hit the wall opposite them.

“Um.” Lora looked at her.

“So be careful. I’m busy here.”

Lora nodded and Clarke looked at Michi. “Look at me,” Clarke said. “Right here. My face.”

Michi did what she asked.

“Okay. I’m going to push it out the back, then break it off in front so I can pull it the rest of the way through.”

“Sounds just wonderful,” Michi said through her teeth.

“Whatever you’re doing, do it faster.” Lora turned and looked at Clarke. “Because I’m pretty sure we’re about to have some company and it is not the friendly kind.”

“I jammed the gate again. We’ll have a little bit of extra time.” Michi dug in her pocket with her good hand and pulled the cords out that had bound her wrists. She stuffed them in her mouth, bit down, and nodded at Clarke.

“Counting to three.” Clarke carefully put her left hand on the arrow jutting from Michi’s shoulder and Michi made a strangled noise around the cords. “One,” Clarke said. “Two—” and she pushed the arrow through.

Michi screamed, the sound muffled by the cords, and sank to her knees. Tears leaked out of her eyes but she nodded at Clarke.

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke said and she braced the arrow with one hand and snapped it with the other.

Michi screamed again around the cords.

“They’re here,” Lora said.

Clarke heard voices speaking in Trigedasleng at the top of the stairs. Someone rattled the gate.

“Last thing,” Clarke said softly to Michi, as she tore a tiny piece of cloth off her shirt and used it to grip the arrow sticking out of the back of Michi’s shoulder. She pulled with a quick, smooth motion and it came out, slick with blood.

Michi whimpered and spit the cords out of her mouth.

Clarke ripped another couple of strips off her shirt and wrapped Michi’s shoulder the best she could, positioning it under her arm and then tying the ends off loosely around her neck before she helped her up. If the arrow had been poisoned, it would have been working by now. At least there was that.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” said a voice at the top of the steps. “Surrender and Nia will not kill your companions.”

Lora looked at her, eyes wide.

“Whatever,” Michi whispered. “He’s full of shit. She’s going to kill all of us anyway.”

Clarke motioned Lora over to stand near Michi while she went to the bottom of the stairs to listen. They were trying to open the gate and it was probably just a matter of time before they did. She retreated and pulled Michi and Lora in close.

“I have one more bomb. I’m going to wait until they get the gate open and they start coming down the stairs.”

“Why not throw it now?” Lora asked.

“Because I’m hoping it’ll make some of the ceiling collapse to help block the stairs. I don’t know how many are out there. I might be able to take a few out if I throw it now, but there could be ten more waiting and then there’s nothing to stop them from coming down here.”

“Okay. What do we do?” Lora glanced past her at the stairwell.

“You take Michi with you. Keep moving down the tunnel in the direction we were going. Do not stop. I’ll catch up.”

“No way,” Lora said. “I’m not leaving you.”

“It’s our best chance. Don’t argue with me. Michi’s injured and we have to get her out of here. She’s losing blood and if we wait, she’ll get weaker.”

The gate creaked and rattled.

“Go,” Clarke said. “Now. I’ll draw them down here and blow the stairwell. You need to be away from that, too.”

Both Michi and Lora stared at her.

“Damn,” Michi said. “You might be an asshole, Griffin, but you are fucking hardcore.”

“Thanks, I think. Get her out of here,” she said to Lora. “Hurry.”

Without another word, Lora gripped Michi’s good arm and pulled her gently away, down the tunnel. Clarke took the mini-mine out of her pocket. On the plus side, they were on the side of the stairwell they needed to be on and didn’t have to expose themselves by crossing in front of it to continue walking. And it was easy for her to make the throw with her left hand on this side of the stairwell. She activated the mine and waited, listening.

“Hurry,” one said.

The rattling from the gate increased and then Clarke heard a triumphant exclamation and a loud squeak that must have been the gate being pulled open.

“All of you, go,” said the original voice. Bring _Wanheda_ back. Kill the others.”

Clarke waited a beat then made herself visible at the base of the stairs. Four _Azgeda_ warriors stopped descending and stared at her.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” one shouted over his shoulder. “She is surrendering.”

Clarke took a breath and threw the mine toward the gate then dove out of the way, trying to cover her ears. It hit something because it exploded. The tunnel seemed to shake with the force of it and dust and debris billowed out of the stairwell. Her ears were ringing, but she heard screaming and the thud of heavier debris still falling.

The tunnel was noticeably darker from the thick dust. From what she could tell after she got to her feet, the lower part of the stairwell was waist high in debris. She heard shouting at the top of the stairwell and what sounded like people trying to clear the debris. Hopefully, that would buy them some time.

She turned to leave but something grabbed her ankle and pulled her off balance so that she went down. Pain shot through her kneecap as it connected with the floor but she rolled over and kicked. An _Azgeda_ warrior. He must have thrown himself into the tunnel when she threw the mine. He let go of her ankle but he scrabbled to his feet and lunged for her again and he looked like some kind of wild animal, with his hair matted with blood and caked with dust. His face, too, was coated with dust and his eyes blazed with rage and he grabbed her by the front of her jacket and hauled her up and in the same motion slammed her against the wall so hard her teeth rattled.

Her back took most of the force, saving her head from hitting the stone, but she still saw stars and couldn’t catch her breath.

“You will come with me,” he said, “and you are lucky that it is Nia who will kill you later. She will be more merciful than I would.”

She rammed him in the groin with her knee and air whooshed out of his lungs along with a groan. His hold weakened and Clarke brought the heel of her hand up under his chin as hard as she could from this angle and as his head snapped back, she wrenched out of his grasp and ran down the corridor, in the opposite direction that Lora and Michi had taken. He recovered quickly and she heard him behind her, drawing closer so she forced herself to run faster but he tackled her and they both fell to the floor, his weight on her back again knocking the breath out of her.

He jerked her up and she clawed at his hand, making him let go but he only grabbed her jacket with his other hand and started dragging her back toward the entrance. She struggled and managed to kick the back of his knee, causing his leg to buckle but he retained his grip and wrestled her to the ground.

“You are almost a worthy opponent,” he said, breath hot and foul against her face. She raked at his eyes and he drew back in pain but recovered quickly because he straddled her, his knees pinning her arms.

Clarke thrashed, but he was too heavy and his position was such that he was nearly impossible to dislodge.

“This will go much worse for you if you do not stop,” he said.

She went still and sighed, as if resigned.

“Better.” He was fumbling with his belt pouch and Clarke twisted. He was unprepared, because he fell toward the side and one of his knees lifted off her arm. She jerked her hand free but he grabbed it and held on and maybe they had been too involved with this battle, because by the time she realized that someone was running toward them from the direction of the cell she had bombed, it was too late to do anything about it.

They both stopped struggling and on one accord turned toward the figure approaching them out of the dark. The warrior’s grip loosened and Clarke jerked her arm away just as the newcomer arrived, already swinging something that connected with the warrior’s head a second later with a sickening crunch.

The blow knocked him completely off Clarke and sent him slumping to the floor and from how he landed, he wasn’t getting up any time soon. Maybe not ever. She turned her gaze to the newcomer and stared at him, hardly daring to believe what she was seeing.

“Jasper?”

“Hey,” he said, breathing hard as he lowered the pipe he had used on the warrior. “So I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Duh. Who else would be down here? Living on the edge, baby.” He offered his hand and she let him pull her up. Her adrenaline rush had receded and her legs were shaky.

“You okay?” he asked.

Instead of saying anything, she hugged him.

“Whoa. Kind of awkward.”

“Shut up and deal with it,” she said with a laugh.

“So I guess you’re glad to see me,” he said as he hugged her back with his free arm.

“Just a little.” She smiled and let go of him. “What are you doing here?”

“Kind of a long story. Can you walk?”

“Yeah.”

“So the next question is, which way from here?”

“I blew up the closest entrance.” She waved toward the entrance, but there was a chance they could get past it if they hurried.

“Of course you did.” He smiled and took a flashlight out of his pocket and turned it on. “So we’re going to leave all the nice Ice Nation people to deal with it as we go the other way.” He started walking away, back toward the cell it seemed she had only just escaped.

“Wait. Michi and Lora are in the other direction.”

He stopped. “From Arkadia?”

“Yes.”

“Who went with Sanders and Pike?”

“Yes, but they helped me escape and Michi’s wounded. We have to find them.”

“Not to be a dick about it, but we can’t right now. There’re only two of us and we won’t do anybody any good if we get our asses captured or worse. Come on.” He continued walking.

He was right, but she stayed where she was, staring in the direction Michi and Lora had gone. She heard shouting, but it sounded muffled, and then she heard a couple of dull thuds. They were clearing debris out of the entrance she’d blown up with the mini-mine.

“Clarke,” Jasper said from a few paces away. “They’ll have a better chance if we get out of here and get more help. And we need to do that now. Because Nia’s people will have that stairwell cleared soon.”

And the explosion may have brought more _Azgeda_ to help. She clenched her teeth and hurried to join him, though her knee was sore from her earlier fight and it hurt a little to walk.

“Why are you here alone?” she asked. Were things so bad aboveground that everybody tried to escape into the tunnels?

I started with a team. There were three teams, several of us and Tree Crew—”

“ _Trikru_?” Lexa. She had sent help. Clarke’s heart sped up.

“Well, yeah. Lexa coordinated with Raven, Kane, and Bellamy. Good move, showing her how to use a radio.” He increased his speed a little, which made Clarke’s knee hurt more as she worked to keep up, but she didn’t say anything.

“So Lexa brought a bunch of warriors—” Jasper started.

“What? She’s here?” And she hoped he didn’t hear the longing and excitement in her voice.

“Yes. I volunteered to be on her search team with Lincoln.”

“Search team?” Clarke slowed down a little to relieve a little pressure on her knee.

“Lexa wanted three teams to go into tunnels after Raven did her bomb thing to clear them of Ice Nation and to find you.”

She came. Clarke held back tears of relief and many other things that she would tell Lexa if she and Jasper managed to get out of this.

“Oh, and Lexa is looking for Nia. If she ever comes after me looking like that, I’m moving to another continent.”

Clarke could see, in her mind’s eye, Lexa in full regalia, eyes flashing, swords ready. Like in the mountain, when she killed Emerson, uncoiling into an attack with barely a breath between immobility and motion.

“So anyway, two teams went into other tunnels and we ended up in one that brought us to your cell. We figured out roughly where that might be after you used your first Ravenator.”

She glanced at him. “My first _what_?”

“Raven named those mini-things she made. As she does.” He snorted a laugh. “So Lexa, me, and Lincoln worked our way over here. We found a couple of Ice Nation warriors on the way and Lexa and Lincoln, um, convinced one to tell us exactly where your cell was.” He paused. “Lexa can be very convincing about some things.”

“Yes, she can.” Oh, she could be convincing. In so many ways.

“We found the cell, and then Raven radioed because all of a sudden, Lincoln noticed that there were a lot more Ice Nation running around upstairs, if you will. Oh, and another Ice Nation guy we ran into told us there’s a tunnel between here and Polis, and some of Nia’s people are coming in from there to help her.”

She had suspected the same thing. “When did Lexa show up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a half-hour before the first bombs.”

Clarke thought about that, because Ontari had told Nia earlier that she had seen Lexa in the city, near the marketplace. “How far are we from Polis?”

“Couldn’t tell you.”

“Where are Lexa and Lincoln now and why did they leave you here?”

“They went to help out with the extra Ice Nation.”

Clarke slowed a little more. “She left you?”

He looked back over his shoulder at her. “Chill. I told her to do it.”

“And she listened to you?”

He let his breath out in a huff. “Um, can you hurry a little?”

As if to make his point, she heard more distant thuds from behind them. She walked faster, though her knee protested.

“Back to Lexa,” he said. “I convinced her that it was a logical thing to do, and that I could try to find you. She was going to send Lincoln to Polis for reinforcements and stay with me, but—hell, have you seen her fight?”

Oh, yes. She made a noncommittal noise so as not to betray anything more about her feelings.

“Well, she’s like a damn hurricane. A more controlled version of one, but with a similar effect. Point being, I’m not going to do her any good except be something she has to worry about when she’s already got you to worry about and all the other shit she has to think about. So I told her to go help the others, and she had Lincoln for backup.” He glanced at her and shrugged. “My devastating charm is not going to win these kinds of fights. Sadly. So I made what I think is a mature decision, if I do say so myself.”

And he had risked his life to find her. He had made a conscious decision to go alone down this corridor to find her. “Thank you,” she said, and she meant it.

“Yeah, well, you know. I kind of owed you one.”

“I’m not keeping score.”

He didn’t respond and instead grabbed her arm and turned the flashlight off, plunging them into darkness. Clarke stayed quiet, listening. From way back behind them, she heard another series of distant thuds, and she guessed it was more rubble from the stairwell being pushed out of the way, and then she heard yelling.

“That can’t be good,” Jasper said. “Can you run?”

“I don’t think I have a choice.”

“Good answer.” He turned the light back on and they started jogging, Clarke wincing at the spikes of pain in her knee with every step, but it didn’t feel as if anything was seriously damaged. She guessed it was just severely bruised.

Behind them, she heard more shouts, but she couldn’t tell if they were getting closer. Hopefully, Michi and Lora had found another exit.

The beam of the flashlight picked up the door Clarke’s first mini-mine had blown open and they slowed to walking to make their way through the fragments of broken stone that had ended up in the corridor. And then for the second time that day Clarke worked her way through the rubble-strewn short corridor, placing her feet carefully so she didn’t further injure her knee. Jasper helped, but it seemed to take longer this time than the first and she realized how tired, hungry, and thirsty she was.

They emerged into the cell and she automatically checked the grate overhead. Early evening, from the way the light looked. Jasper put the flashlight back in his pocket and picked his way through the debris on the cell’s floor, moving to the door the guards had used to enter and leave.

She followed and the two of them waited at the doorway, listening. Shouts from aboveground, but from what she could tell, not close. But they would be targets up there for archers and whoever else, especially since it wouldn’t be dark for another couple of hours.

“Can you find your way back through the tunnels?” she asked.

“Let’s just go up the stairs.”

“We’re safer underground.”

“Oh, of course. With however many Ice Nation assholes right behind us. Seems like a great idea, crammed into a tunnel with them chasing us in the dark.”

She bit back a retort and instead said, “They’ll think we took the stairs.” She lowered her voice. “We’re really obvious targets up there. _Azgeda_ uses archers. And I’m not sure I can run as fast as we might need to if we go that way.”

Jasper started to say something then stopped. “Yeah, okay. I can take us back through the tunnels.” He pulled the pistol from his waistband and held it out.

“What are you doing?”

“You don’t have a weapon.”

“You’re a better shot.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t make much difference if they’re a couple feet away. Take it. We still have a while to go. I’ve got my trusty pipe.”

She took the gun, and flipped the safety off, making sure to point it at the floor. “Let’s go,” she said, and stepped out of the cell. The stairs to the outside were a few meters ahead on the right. Light filtered down them and helped cut the gloom in the tunnel. Clarke took a few steps then stopped. Something was blocking the light in the stairwell. She heard someone descending before she saw anyone and she grabbed Jasper and started pulling him back to the cell when two _Azgeda_ warriors descended into the tunnel.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” one said.

“ _Wanheda ste hir_ ,” the other yelled up the stairwell. “ _Tel Nia op_.”

“Good guys or bad?” Jasper asked, gripping the pipe with both hands.

“Definitely bad,” Clarke said and as she backed toward the cell, one of the warriors raised his knife into a throwing position. Clarke fired and the bullet caught him in the chest. He jerked, spun around, and fell.

“Shit,” Jasper said.

The other warrior ducked back into the stairwell, yelling for reinforcements.

“Super shit,” Jasper said. “We’re about to get more company behind us.”

Clarke glanced past him into the cell and heard voices down the other corridor. Close.

“Ideas?” Jasper looked first at the cell then at the stairwell, then back again.

“Past the stairs.” Clarke started moving, pistol brandished. “Try to keep them all behind us.” She gripped the pistol. “Ready?”

“Nope, but don’t let that stop you.”

She started running and hugged the left-hand wall and just as they made it past the stairwell, several _Azgeda_ poured down it.

“Beyond shit,” Jasper said with a grunt as he turned and smacked the first one in the head with his pipe. Clarke fired past him at another, who howled in pain. She shot another and the rest—five, she counted—backed off and for a few seconds, there was an impasse, broken by the groaning of one of the warriors who had taken a bullet in his side.

“I don’t think you will be able to bring us all down,” said a familiar voice in English. “Not before your friend dies.” Ontari pushed through the warriors on the stairs, and they moved aside to make room for her and two archers, arrows nocked. Not even ten feet away. They wouldn’t miss, and the arrows might be poisoned. Ontari regarded her, expression cool. She wore battle dress and her dark hair was braided in intricate patterns similar to those some _Trikru_ wore. She carried a sword on her left hip and three knives on her right.

“Let him go,” Clarke said, keeping the pistol pointed at the closest warrior. “Nia wants me. He’s useless to her.”

“That is not for you to decide. Are you willing to watch him die now?”

She heard what had to be people entering the nearby cell from the other passage and a wave of frustration and impotent anger washed through her. She had been so close. They all had been so close. If she had just been able to move a little faster—

An _Azgeda_ warrior emerged from the cell into the tunnel. He looked at Ontari. “ _Nia kom op?_ ”1 He motioned with his chin toward the stairwell.

Nia was on her way? How had she known to come to this stairwell? Unless she had been at the other when Clarke bombed it.

Ontari nodded at the new arrival then looked back at Clarke. “So, _Wanheda_. Will we go up the stairs with your friend or without?”

Most likely Nia would kill Jasper sooner rather than later, but for now, she could maybe buy him some time. She lowered the pistol.

“What are you doing?” Jasper said in a low voice.

“Whatever I can.” She flicked the safety on, trying to mask the movement and handed the gun to the warrior who stepped forward to take it. A few more _Azgeda_ joined them from the cell and Ontari motioned to two warriors in her group who moved over to him. Jasper handed the pipe to one.

“Stay close behind me,” Clarke said near his ear. The archers wouldn’t shoot him if she was in front. She walked to the steps and stopped in front of Ontari. “Archers go first.” She held Ontari’s flat, dark gaze.

“You are in no position to bargain.”

“Neither are you,” Clarke shot back. “If I’m damaged, Nia won’t be happy.”

“Clarke,” Jasper muttered but she ignored him and continued to stare at her.

Ontari broke first. She waved the archers up the stairs. Clarke waited a few seconds, then started up the steps, Jasper right behind her, sending out a silent apology to Lexa for screwing up again. And this time, Jasper might pay for it, too. As if he hadn’t already paid enough as a result of her actions.

They were halfway up when the warriors behind her suddenly yelled warnings and scrambled back down the stairs amidst shouts and the clang of metal.

“What—” Jasper started but Clarke pushed him back against the wall of the stairwell as warriors shoved past from above to join whatever was happening below.

“Come on.” She grabbed his shirt and pulled him up the stairs, bumping hard against _Azgeda_ on their way down. Her boots slipped on the tile underfoot and she struggled to keep her balance in the jostling. It had to be _Trikru_ , she thought. Or other _kongeda_ forces. Otherwise, she would have heard guns. Whoever it was, the fight was slowly coming up the stairs, and there was a good chance that she and Jasper would get caught in it. She was almost to the top of the steps when she stopped, the point of Ontari’s sword at her throat. She felt it prick her flesh and she let go of Jasper’s shirt.

“At least let us off the stairs,” Clarke said evenly. “Nia won’t be happy if something happens to me because you wouldn’t get me out of the way of this.”

Ontari said nothing, but she glanced down the stairway just as an _Azgeda_ next to Clarke bellowed in pain, clawing at a knife in his throat. Ontari pulled her blade away from Clarke’s throat, giving her room to continue ascending but once again Ontari stopped them a few steps from the top.

More screams emanated from below and the two archers who had gone on ahead positioned themselves at the entrance, prepared to fire.

“ _Hod op_ ,” Ontari yelled to them above the din, her sword now at Jasper’s throat. “ _Ste kefa kom oson gona_.” 2

The archers nocked arrows and aimed down the stairs, but they had to keep adjusting their positions because of the fighting.

“What the hell is happening?” Jasper said, not moving his head because Ontari’s sword was in the way.

“I don’t know. _Kongeda_ , maybe.”

Ontari flashed Clarke a glare as a warrior next to Jasper was suddenly engaged by a warrior with _Trikru_ tattoos. Ontari jerked her blade away to help him and Jasper threw himself up the stairs, next to Clarke.

“Go,” he said, pushing her up the last few steps, but one of Ontari’s archers drew a bead on the _Trikru_ fighter and Clarke slammed against him. His shot went wild and Clarke lurched to her feet.

“ _Reinja_ ,”3 she shouted down the stairs. “ _Ontaris reinja_.”

Ontari threw her to the ground outside the stairwell before she could issue another warning, rage glinting in her eyes as she kicked Clarke in the side once, twice, then again as Clarke tried to roll away each time. Ontari suddenly stopped kicking her and Clarke staggered to her feet, watching as Jasper clung to Ontari’s back and it was almost comical as she stumbled around trying to dislodge him. She was strong, because she stayed upright beneath Jasper’s greater height and weight and then she slammed him against a tree and he let go, gasping for breath, and fell forward as Ontari rushed toward the stairwell as _Azgeda_ warriors streamed up the steps, bloodied and panting as they were driven back by the forces below.

Ontari’s two archers moved out of the way of the flood of people, and most of them were _Azgeda_ , so the archers took to their swords instead and battled several _Trikru_ warriors who were fighting their way up the steps. Clarke went to help Jasper up when one of Ontari’s archers went down, an arrow in his back.

“Stay down,” Clarke said, as more arrows flew from the nearby woods and three more of Ontari’s warriors collapsed while two others continued to fight though an arrow jutted from one’s arm and another from the other’s leg.

Jasper pulled Clarke closer to the tree for more cover when several newcomers burst from the trees to the left of the underground entrance and it was a frightening sight, to see Grounder warriors in full battle mode, faces tattooed and painted, filling the air with wave after wave of battle cries. Clarke lost sight of Ontari in the new onslaught, but the arrows had stopped so she got up.

“Let’s go,” she said as she helped Jasper up. “Which way to where you originally went in?”

“This way.” He started forward then stopped and Clarke ran into his back.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m guessing these are friends of the bad guys.”

Clarke stared as another twenty _Azgeda_ warriors arrived, Nia and two others among them on horseback. The warriors on foot surged into the fight, and Clarke could barely hear above the shouting, screams of pain, and clash of metal. Nia dismounted and kept to the periphery of the fight, and Clarke realized she was looking for someone. At one point, Ontari was driven back from a clump of warriors at the underground entrance but Nia barely looked at her and instead kept scanning.

“Let’s go,” Clarke said. “Now.”

Another swarm of warriors burst from the underground entrance, drawing everyone’s attention, and Jasper started off again, running in a half-crouch. Clarke followed, her knee protesting and her side aching from Ontari’s kicks. They were almost past the fight, keeping maybe a dozen meters between them and the battle when Clarke heard Nia yelling something and it sounded a lot like “ _Wanheda_.”

“Go,” she said to Jasper. “Faster.”

“You sure you can handle it?”

“I don’t have a choice.” She ran faster, and clenched her teeth at the pain.

“About halfway there,” Jasper said between gasps.

They hit a clearing away from the battle, as the sounds had faded somewhat, but out of her peripheral vision she saw a horseman barreling through the trees and her instincts told her he was coming for her.

She ran for the opposite side of the clearing, hoping to get to the cover of the trees but suddenly the horse was next to her, so close she could have reached out and touched its heaving flank. Clarke stopped and the horse shot past, but its rider leapt off in a smooth, graceful motion and hit the ground running. Clarke ran to her right, toward a stand of trees but she was exhausted and her knee hurt and it was like running in mud, trying to squeeze another burst of speed out of her overtaxed muscles.

The warrior tackled her but blunted the fall to the ground by rolling with her until they came to a stop and he hauled her to her feet. She swung at him and connected and he grunted in surprise. She kicked, then, and managed to connect a couple of times before he spun her and lifted her off the ground, pinned in his powerful arms, the smell of sweat and body odor strong in her nostrils.

“Stop,” he said. “Or your friend dies.”

She went still as another _Azgeda_ shoved Jasper to the ground nearby and quickly tied his wrists behind him then positioned him on his knees. The warrior holding on to Clarke carried her over to him without much effort, it seemed, and held her as the other _Azgeda_ pulled another cord out of his pouch.

“ _Hos op_ ,”4 the warrior holding her said. The din of the battle floated toward them on the cool evening air through the forest, a cacophony of weapons and screams. And then, farther away than the battle, the crack of pistol shots, too far to hear them if she shouted, but it sounded as if _Skaikru_ was on the way.

And then more _Azgeda_ warriors stepped into the clearing opposite them and Clarke’s heart sank. Nia had more forces than anyone had thought. One of the men detached from the others and strode directly toward them. The warriors with him drew their weapons.

“ _Sen em klir_ ,”5 he demanded and the warrior holding onto her set her on the ground and she stood, swaying a little, not sure what had just happened. “ _Tai em op_ ,” he said to one of his own men and he obliged and started to bind the wrists of Nia’s warriors.

Clarke caught Jasper’s eye and she barely shook her head, imploring him with her eyes not to do anything stupid. The man waited until Nia’s warriors were bound, wrists and ankles. He motioned at two of his warriors and they picked Jasper up and moved him next to Clarke. Jasper caught her gaze, eyes wide, and she wished she could help, wished she could make him feel better but she had no idea what was happening.

And then the man who appeared to be the leader drew his own knife and with a quick motion, he cut Jasper’s bonds, stepped back, and regarded her, openly assessing in that way Grounders had. Not offensive. Just curious and pragmatic. She met his gaze. He bore the patterned scars of _Azgeda_ on the sides of his face and he wore his hair tied back from his face. His beard was more neatly trimmed than some Grounder men wore, and though his mouth was set into a hard line, his eyes sparked with amusement.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” he said as he sheathed his knife.

She looked at him, wary.

“There are many people looking for you.”

She didn’t respond at first, though he didn’t seem to be like Nia’s warriors. “Who are you?”

The corners of his mouth twitched with the hint of a smile. “ _Ai laik Roan kom Azgeda_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_. And I’m here to help.”

 

1 _Nia kom op?_ : Nia is coming?  
2 _Ste kefa kom oson gona_ : Be careful of our warriors  
3 _Reinja…Ontaris reinja_ : Archers…Ontari’s archers  
4 _Hos op_ : Hurry [you’ve seen this one]  
5 _Sen em klir_ : release them

 

###

“How many by your count?” Bellamy asked in a low voice as they crouched in the underbrush.

“Ten,” Lexa said softly. She peered through the foliage, assessing each warrior. Early evening slanted sunlight across the entrance that they were trying to clear.

“They’re clearing the entrance.” Monty had crawled to a position between them. “That had to be Clarke’s bomb. She was probably trying to get out and these assholes showed up.”

Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. He was most likely right. The question was, did Clarke get away?

“What’s the plan?” Bellamy glanced over Monty’s head at her.

“Wait.” She scanned the area again, looking for Nia or Ontari. Neither seemed to be present. “They have archers,” she said. Two of the _Azgeda_ helping with the debris carried bows. “Possibly some in the trees.”

Monty scanned around them and Lexa almost smiled. _Azgeda_ wasn’t as good at _Trikru_ at hiding, but they were much better than _Skaikru_ could see. He wouldn’t know he was looking at an archer in the tree if he was sitting on the same branch.

“Shoot one,” Sam said. He had crawled closer and was now on Bellamy’s right.

“What?” Monty’s voice held an undercurrent of horror. “Are you nuts?”

“Maybe not.” Bellamy looked over at Lexa again. “If we do that, then we’ll at least find out where their archers are.”

“Yeah, because they’ll shoot at _us_.” Monty shook his head. “That’s crazy.”

Lexa silently disagreed. It was a good plan, but possibly unnecessary. “Wait,” she said again.

“I’m with Lexa. At least wait ’til they clear more out.” That was the woman they called Harper.

“We might not have much time,” Sam said, “if we want to find Clarke.”

“How does it even matter?” Harper snapped in a harsh whisper. “If we make them scatter or kill ’em off, we’re the ones who have to clear it out and that’s still eating time up. And I seriously don’t want to haul a bunch of rocks out of a stairwell.”

Monty exchanged a look with Bellamy. “They are working pretty efficiently.”

“And fast,” Harper added, as if emphasizing her earlier point.

Bellamy looked past Monty. “Lexa?”

“Harper is right. Let’s use them as labor. And if what Monty said is true, Clarke had to use the mine because they saw her. They may know which way she went.”

“Okay. Sit tight, everybody.” Bellamy continued watching the activities of the _Azgeda_ removing debris out of the entranceway.

Lexa chafed at the wait, and she bit her lip, watching the surrounding area. A birdcall sounded nearby and she counted to three then responded.

“What?” Bellamy whispered.

Lincoln sees something. She caught a movement in the forest a few dozen paces away, and gestured with her chin.

More _Azgeda_ arrived, Ontari with them, in battle dress. She gesticulated at the entrance, emphatic about something, then pointed in a direction away from their hiding place.

“Can you hear what they’re saying?” Monty asked.

“Shh,” Harper said. “Let her listen.”

“Stay here.” Lexa gave Bellamy a look then crept closer to the _Azgeda_ warriors, keeping to the trees until she was barely twenty paces away.

“—way?” Ontari asked.

“We don’t know,” the warrior she was talking to said. “She is with the two _natrona_.”

“Send five to the west entrance. I will go to the other entrance. Tell Nia to go there.”

“And us?”

“Keep to the tunnel—” she dropped her voice and Lexa didn’t hear the next few words.

“You wish us to drive them toward that entrance?” the other warrior said.

“ _Sha_. I will wait.”

He nodded and Ontari left, taking two warriors with her but leaving the others to help clear the entrance. Lexa retreated, making little sound.

“What’s the deal?” Bellamy asked when she settled next to Monty again.

“Clarke was with the _natrona_. The two women, since Jon is dead and Jax is in Polis. The ones called Michi and Lora.”

“What about Jasper?” Monty asked.

“There was no mention of him.” Which could be either good or bad. It was possible Jasper found another tunnel and went down that one.

“Is Clarke still with the _natrona_?” Bellamy moved so he was closer and could whisper.

“I don’t know.” It was possible, too, that they split up after Clarke bombed the stairwell. “There is a west entrance to this tunnel,” she continued. “Ontari wants five warriors there and the rest here will clear this entrance and take the tunnel to another entrance. She and Nia will be at that one.”

Harper frowned. “So if Clarke is down there, she might have had to go to this other entrance. But we don’t know for sure which entrance she went to.”

“We’ll need to cover both.” Bellamy looked at Sam. “As soon as they send their people, take Harper and follow them. If you see Clarke at this other entrance, you are cleared to take the _Azgeda_ out.”

“Roger that.” Sam looked at Harper and she nodded.

“As soon as they head out,” Bellamy repeated. “Get ready.”

Sam nodded and they retreated, almost as quietly as _Azgeda_ might have.

Another birdcall sounded, this one from a different angle than the first. Octavia’s position. Lexa responded and a few moments later another birdcall, this one from Tam’s position. She responded to that, as well.

Bellamy caught her gaze. “What’s going on?”

“Reinforcements have arrived.”

“Really?” Monty glanced around again. “Where?”

Lexa smiled. “We are _Trikru_. You will not see us unless we wish it.”

“Damn,” he muttered.

“They’re almost done.” Bellamy looked at her. “What’s your plan?”

“We wait until they go in. And then we follow them.” They would lead them to Nia and Ontari, and, with any luck, to Clarke, if Clarke had been forced to go that direction.

The _Azgeda_ stopped working and the warrior Ontari had spoken with pointed at five who had arrived with her, said something, and motioned toward the west. These, then, would be the ones sent to that entrance. As she watched, they all went into the forest. Lexa looked back to see Sam and Harper, hunkered behind trees, watching the _Azgeda_. They waited a few moments after the warriors had passed then followed. She birdcalled and Tam seemed to materialize seconds later just behind her. She leaned close for Lexa’s instructions.

“Send two warriors to reinforce the _Skaikru_ Sam and Harper. They are following _Azgeda_ to a west entrance that Clarke and the two _natrona_ may go to.”

She nodded and disappeared as quickly as she had come.

“They’re done,” Bellamy said to her. “And getting ready to go in.”

Three _Azgeda_ stood talking near the entrance, including the one Ontari had spoken with. He pointed north. One turned and moved in that direction.

“Take Monty and follow that _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said to Bellamy.

“Why?”

“He’s going to the other entrance to tell Ontari that they have cleared the entrance. I will need _Skaikru_ there to help when we force the _Azgeda_ out of the tunnel.”

“There are almost twenty,” Bellamy said.

“And there are almost that many _Trikru_.” She handed him the radio. “Tell Raven to signal Indra. She and Darya will put more forces into place and can meet you at the other entrance.”

She held his gaze and he scowled and she saw in his eyes a fierce desire to make sure Clarke was all right. “You and Monty have guns. We need those at the entrance when I and my forces drive _Azgeda_ out of the tunnel,” she reiterated. “It will be too dark to use those weapons.”

“She’s right,” Monty said, but still Bellamy scowled.

“Together, we are doing what needs to be done to bring Clarke and Jasper—if he is in this tunnel—to safety.”

He wavered, but his expression said he was not convinced.

“Clarke needs you to do what you can do best in these circumstances,” she pressed. “That is not trying to shoot armed _Azgeda_ warriors in a narrow tunnel with no light.”

That did it. He nodded. “All right. But I’m trusting you because Clarke does. Not because you’ve earned it.”

“Bellamy.” Monty gave him a glare.

“Fair enough,” she said mildly, and she wondered when he would realize that they had much in common, in their shared loyalty to Clarke. She admired it in him, and she admired his willingness to work with her in spite of his distrust, all because of Clarke and her leadership.

Monty held out his flashlight but Lexa shook her head. “Are you sure?” he motioned again with it.

“ _Azgeda_ have torches,” she said. “And if we carry light, we will be seen.”

“She’s right,” Bellamy said. “Looks like three.”

“Okay, then.” Monty put the flashlight back in his pocket and checked his rifle. “Ready when you are, Bell.”

“How many Ice Nation went in?” he asked.

“Twenty-three.” Lexa birdcalled then looked at him. “If they’re lucky, some of them will escape the tunnel for you to deal with.”

He nodded at her. “Good luck.”

“And you.” She stood and Tam emerged from the underbrush nearby.

Monty stared at her, then at Lexa. “You weren’t kidding, about letting us see you only when you want.”

She flashed him a smile and hurried to the entrance, Tam with her. Lincoln and Octavia appeared from other areas nearby, along with fifteen _Trikru_. Monty’s eyes widened and Lexa hid her amusement.

“What’s going on?” Octavia asked and Bellamy quickly outlined the plan to her.

“I will accompany _Heda_ ,” Lincoln said.

Bellamy rested his hands on the gun whose strap was braced on his shoulder. “O?”

“I’ll come with you,” she said after a moment. “I’ll be able to translate if we’re close enough and can hear anything from Ontari or Nia.”

He hid his relief well but Lexa saw it, saw in his eyes the inner battle he waged over his self-imposed role of protector and his recognition that Octavia was capable of taking care of herself. From Lincoln Lexa saw only pride directed at Octavia, and as she watched, Octavia pulled him into a kiss, her hand lingering on his cheek. He smiled at her and brushed his lips against her forehead.

Watching them sent a fresh pang through her heart. Would she some day be able to express herself that openly with Clarke?

“All right. See you on the other side,” Bellamy said, and he, Monty, and Octavia headed in the direction the second group of _Azgeda_ had gone.

“ _Mochof gon yo badaun_ ,”5 Lexa said to her assembled warriors. “ _Ste klir_.”

“ _En yu, Heda_ ,” they all murmured in reply.

Tam, Lincoln, and another warrior entered the stairwell first. The _Azgeda_ hadn’t cleared all of it, but they had cleared a narrow pathway. Lexa stepped carefully and when they had reached the bottom, Tam pointed at a crumpled form nearby, visible in the light that was able to leak in from the partially blocked stairway.

Lexa crouched and examined the dead warrior. The side of his head had been crushed.

“ _Heda_ ,” Lincoln said softly and gestured down the tunnel at faint light reflecting off the tiles.

She straightened and started down the corridor, ensuring a distance that would keep them just beyond the reach of the flickering light of the _Azgeda_ torches. The voices of the _Azgeda_ floated back to them, but _Trikru_ kept silent, and even their footsteps were quiet. The ghostly light from the flames ahead gave them enough to make their way without difficulty, but every _Trikru_ warrior was experienced with functioning in all conceivable situations, including darkness, and Lexa knew that even in the absence of the torches, they would still navigate this tunnel effectively.

The _Azgeda_ were moving quickly, but from their pace and occasional voices, they seemed unaware of the group of warriors behind them. A few sharp pops sounded from ahead and both groups stopped. Lexa recognized the sounds as bullets. Bellamy wouldn’t be in position yet. That left Jasper. Or possibly Clarke, if he was with her.

Tam had taken the front position and was farther down the corridor. They followed, making sure to remain far enough bac, that torchlight couldn’t reach them. Tam returned and they stopped again.

“There is debris ahead,” she said in Lexa’s ear. “And they go single-file through a door that is twisted on its hinges.”

“Clarke’s first bomb,” Lexa said in Tam’s ear. “We are back at her cell.” She motioned Lincoln over and relayed the information to him, as well. He nodded.

“We are close,” Lexa said softly to the others, and she drew one of her swords with her right hand. Cramped quarters like these, filled with both enemy and allies, didn’t allow the maneuverability she needed to use both long blades.

Tam led them closer, and they waited until the last _Azgeda_ had entered the corridor Lexa knew connected this tunnel to the cell Clarke had occupied. She counted to five then hurried to the door Clarke’s bomb had blown open. Tam, Lincoln, and another warrior were the first three to enter. Lexa followed, stepping carefully. The wall on her right had partially collapsed, and rubble littered the floor, creating a difficult passage for about ten paces, but the door into Clarke’s cell stood open, and light from the grate Lexa remembered was able to provide some guidance.

She heard voices outside the cell, and other sounds farther down the corridor. The _Azgeda_ were spread out and walking to the stairway that would lead them outside. She took a position next to the doorway that led into this tunnel, that she, Lincoln, and Jasper had been in earlier, Tam and Lincoln with her, and they waited for everyone to join them from the narrow corridor on the other side of the room.

Lexa met the gazes of each of her warriors. “Clear the tunnel and the stairs,” she said, tone grim. She tightened her grip on her sword.

 _Ste yuj_ , _Klark_.

They all nodded and she drew one of her knives with her left hand.

 _Ai ste komba raun gon yu_ 8.

She inhaled deeply, exhaled, and moved into the tunnel outside the cell, gaining momentum as she sped silently toward the _Azgeda_ who straggled behind the main group. She disabled one with a slice across his hamstrings with her sword and she stabbed the other in the chest before his fellow warriors realized they were under attack and they turned to meet the threat, yelling for help.

Two more fell beneath her sword but several more were pouring out of the stairwell, and the tunnel echoed with shouts, screams, and the discordant clang and scrape of metal weapons. Three of her warriors took positions nearby and they moved as one toward the base of the stairs, where they battled for access to the outside in the strange half-light that spilled down the stairway, blocked by surging, shifting bodies of both _Azgeda_ and _Trikru_.

She dodged a short sword slash, stepped left, feinted right, and rammed her own blade into the warrior’s side, and jerked it free with the next motion, blood flying with the motion to spatter the wall next to her. Already the tiled walls of the tunnel and the stairwell were smeared with gore and she added to it with a smooth upward swing of her sword that slid across an opponent’s throat. She sidestepped his body as it fell and began her ascent of the stairs, the tile beneath her boots made slicker with blood. She crouched to avoid a body sailing over her head and started to stand when Tam shouted at her.

“ _Heda_ , _kamp daun_.” 7

Lexa stayed crouching as a sword hit the tile inches above her head, sending chips of it raining down on her. The man who had swung it was off-balance after such a blow and he started to fall. Tam plunged her knife into his thigh and he howled as he stumbled the rest of the way down the stairs toward more _Trikru_.

Using the wall as support against her back, Lexa fought her way up three more steps, falling into a deadly rhythm with Tam, as if they were two dancers engaging in point and counterpoint with each opponent from above.

An _Azgeda_ fell against her and when he realized who she was, his eyes widened in surprise but it didn’t stop him from bringing his knife hand down in a vicious arc toward her chest. She blocked it with her left forearm, but her sword was in her right hand and too long to do anything since he was practically touching her. He pushed his knife toward her face and her arm muscles screamed in protest.

Tam kicked his right knee and he yelped and pulled back a little. It was enough. Lexa pushed him away and shoved her knife into his throat and jerked it out in a gush of blood before he fell heavily down the stairs. She exchanged a quick glance with Tam and advanced another couple of steps as three _Trikru_ warriors pushed ahead of her, providing a phalanx.

And then she heard a shout from above, from outside, warning about archers and Ontari.

She knew that voice, knew its nuances and timbre, even when it shouted a warning in Trigedasleng over the clamor of battle. Lexa surged forward, past one of her warriors, and cleared three more _Azgeda_ with quick stabs and slashes, until she was standing on forest ground in a small clearing, the cool air of evening enveloping her.

“ _Heda_ ,” someone yelled nearby and Tam pulled her back down the stairs and Lexa heard the whoosh of arrows. “ _Trikru_ ,” Tam said, but she stood in front of her anyway as screams erupted above from those who were hit. Seconds later Lexa was again out of the stairwell and with quick, practiced movements she switched her knife for her sword. Now, armed with both long blades, her blood pounded through her veins and a war cry loosed itself from the deep, primal recesses of her spirit and flowed through her muscles and everything around her was etched in perfect clarity, as if it was standing still and she was the only one in motion.

She cut a wide, deadly path, her blades an extension of her body, an expression of the years of blood and pain she had paid to follow this path. The screams of her victims and the way her swords bit into muscle and bone and sent sprays of blood across the trampled ground beneath her feet only barely registered in her battle focus as little more than an effect of her cause.

She scanned the area, searching for Clarke, when a sharp crack to her right brought the battle roaring full-force into her consciousness and an _Azgeda_ within blade’s length of her fell, a bullet hole in his head. Five more shots, five more _Azgeda_ down, mostly wounded, as they continued to move when they hit the ground.

She turned to her left, prepared to engage again when an all-too-familiar woman on the periphery of the battle caught her attention and she let her muscles take over, let the rage that had overtaken her in Danyel’s cell flow through her, and she ran toward Nia, unerringly dodging both _Trikru_ and _Azgeda_ , leaping easily over the bodies of the fallen. She made no sound, no war yell, and it was only someone shouting a warning to Nia that caused her to look up and realize what was about to happen.

Lexa launched herself into a high, arcing leap and sliced down with her right sword as she flew past but Nia had managed to draw her own and blocked the strike. Lexa twisted in the air and came down on both feet just as Nia attacked her, face contorted in rage.

She drove Lexa back to the edge of the clearing, though her sword strikes glanced off Lexa’s blades harmlessly. A particularly vicious swing barely missed Lexa’s stomach and she used Nia’s momentum against her and rammed her with her shoulder, sending her stumbling back.

That was enough to break her attack and they stood, staring at each other in a strange tableau and Lexa searched Nia’s face for the foe she had spent the last few years creating, but all she saw was a woman trained in the ways of war and politics. Not much different in some ways than she herself. Not much different in this world where the space between life and death was the placement of a word or blade.

Not much different.

But not alike, either.

The sounds of the battle around them had paused and Lexa was suddenly aware of the silence, like the expectation before a thunderstorm when the forest holds its breath. All around, warriors had lowered their weapons as if by mutual agreement and Lexa saw Indra on the other side of the clearing, standing with Octavia and a group of _Azgeda_ who had to be Roan’s forces. No one moved but behind her a soft chant started.

“ _Heda_ … _Heda_ … _Heda_ …”

It spread through the trees and across the clearing, growing in volume until it rolled across the clearing like distant thunder and it was clear Lexa’s supporters outnumbered Nia’s.

Lexa looked at her again and Nia sneered and took the hilt of her sword in a two-handed grip and swung it in a series of complicated maneuvers even as the chant of _Heda_ swelled, sending flocks of birds into the darkening skies, an opening salvo in what both recognized as a battle with far more weight than a skirmish in a forest clearing. Empires formed and fell not behind the walls of cities, but in clashes like this, in the intimate violence of past and present colliding beneath bone and steel, and the outcome would shape the legitimacy of a future she built or lost.

Legends lived and died on less.

Lexa raised her swords and the chants grew louder until she couldn’t hear anything but the tide of voices and the expectation within the chant. She stepped into her own display of swordsmanship, blades creating a web around her of swiftly moving steel that she finished with a flourish and stamp, blades crossed in front of her.

The chants were nearly deafening and Lexa inhaled, then exhaled, waiting.

Nia claimed a shield from a nearby corpse.

Inhale, exhale.

Nia positioned the shield in front of her chest, and stood, staring at her.

Inhale, exhale.

Nia moved, smooth and fluid, and closed the distance between them before Lexa took another breath.

Their swords met in a jarring, sparking clash that locked them together momentarily, eye to eye, blades inches from each other’s faces.

“So here we are,” Nia said, venom in her words and eyes. “Let us see what sort of spirit lies within the Commander.” And she gracefully sidestepped, the tip of her sword slicing across Lexa’s upper left arm, beneath her shoulder guard, and she smiled, a predator’s acknowledgment that she had drawn first blood. Lexa ignored the fresh pain, and watched Nia’s form, at the way her muscles worked beneath her skin.

An older warrior, but experience borne of years counted as much as strength and endurance.

Inhale, exhale.

Lexa struck next, thrusting at Nia’s right side, causing her to bring her shield around with her left arm. It left her left side unprotected and the tip of Lexa’s right-hand sword slashed beneath Nia’s arm where her thick leather vest didn’t protect, and blood welled immediately. The crowd rumbled, but Nia recovered quickly and launched another attack, using her shield and sword in tangent to keep Lexa on the defensive until she had backed her out of the clearing into the forest.

Several warriors from the battlefield followed, keeping a distance, watching.

“Where is the spirit of the Commander?” Nia hissed as she closed with Lexa again, another spark between their blades visible in the forest shadows. “Perhaps I should not have worried about a challenge after all.”

Inhale, exhale.

Lexa caught her swing with her crossed blades, twisted, and kicked her in the thigh, causing her to stumble backward against a tree, but she retained her shield and deflected Lexa’s next slash, which instead opened a wound in Nia’s left thigh. She recovered immediately and attacked again, and Lexa deflected all of her swings, maneuvering them both back to the clearing, where she had more room. She knew that she was reaching the last of her energy reserves, that the battles she had fought the past two days and her lack of rest were going to exact a toll. So she opted to allow Nia the opportunity to expend as much energy as she wanted trying to breach Lexa’s defenses.

“Where is this Commander I have heard so much about?” Nia goaded her as they closed again, blade to blade, shield pressing into Lexa’s chest. “Or is it all show?”

Lexa ignored the taunt, relaxed, then shoved and followed her brief advantage with a quick slash over Nia’s left eye. She shoved again, and wounded Nia’s right shoulder, her blade piercing her vest, but Nia jerked back, preventing a worse wound.

“ _Heda_ … _Heda_ … _Heda_ …”

Nia counterattacked, using her shield as an offensive weapon as she closed with Lexa again and rammed its edge into her injured left arm. Lexa’s fingers went numb and she dropped her sword.

Inhale, exhale.

She dodged the slash of Nia’s sword but her foot caught on something and she stumbled and went down on her back, barely managing to roll out of the way as Nia plunged her blade into the earth where her head had been. Lexa kicked and connected with Nia’s knee, but she twisted away and avoided the full force of it. Lexa reached for her other sword but Nia kicked it away and swung her sword down toward Lexa’s head.

She blocked it with the flat of her other sword, both hands on the hilt, but Nia put the force of all her weight on her own blade and Lexa’s arms burned with the effort of holding her off.

“Costia died a more honorable death,” Nia said. “No matter how much pain I inflicted.” She pushed harder and Lexa’s arms trembled. “Until her death, she protected you.” She increased her pressure. “And yet you did nothing for her.” Blood ran into her eye from the cut above it but she ignored it and Lexa felt the first drop on her own cheek.

“Do you wish to know the last thing she said?” Nia almost purred, a strange and twisted seductiveness in her tone as another drop of her blood followed the second onto Lexa’s cheek. She pushed down even harder, as if anticipating an end to this fight.

“She said she loved you.” Nia almost hissed the words. “She loved you, and you did _nothing_ for her. _Nothing_. She is dead because of you.”

Rage and grief rushed through her veins, a new and terrible energy. “No,” Lexa said between her teeth. “Costia is dead because _you_ have no honor and were afraid to face me after my Ascension.” She summoned reserves she didn’t know she had and shoved Nia off her and rolled to her feet, dodging to avoid the worst of the slice from Nia’s blade across her right thigh. On her feet again, Nia attacked and Lexa let her, but she focused her efforts on Nia’s shield arm, getting past her guard several times to inflict several more cuts on her shoulder and biceps and it decreased Nia’s effectiveness with it, but Lexa’s muscles could only run on rage for so long.

Blood from above Nia’s eye clotted on her eyelashes and ran down the side of her face to her neck and shirt, but she continued to attack, an unrelenting series of slashes and blocks and Lexa felt her energy dwindling again, and knew that the only thing that would keep her muscles going was the force of her will. Her arms felt like leaden weights and her thighs ached with effort and injury. She might as well have been fighting in quicksand. Her lungs burned from exertion as she and Nia circled each other, just a few paces between them.

“Costia did not die quickly,” Nia said, a taunt beneath her tone. “And she died thinking you cared nothing for her.”

Lexa clamped her jaws together. She wouldn’t feed what Nia wanted her to.

“But you didn’t learn. And I took another from you. Like Costia, she won’t die quickly.”

Another tide of rage pounded through her veins. “No, she won’t, because you don’t have her.” She feinted, spun, and with both hands, brought the end of her sword hilt down hard onto Nia’s left shoulder. She felt something give and Nia hissed between her teeth and her shield arm sagged.

“You will never have her,” Lexa said. “Ever.”

Nia lunged and though Lexa deflected her blade, she managed to ram her shield against the wound on Lexa’s shoulder, and the force of the attack knocked Lexa to one knee. She caught Nia’s blade again on hers, gained her feet, and pushed her backward, which gave her a few seconds to regroup, though Nia, too, moved like she was tiring.

She needed to finish this soon, and she flicked a glance to the place where her other sword lay, closer to Nia than to her. Beyond her sword stood watchers just within the clearing, and Lexa’s gaze was drawn unerringly, as if by design, to one in particular.

Clarke.

Even at this distance, in the deepening shadows, the expression in Clarke’s eyes spread a new warmth into her limbs, but she saw worry there, too, but then Clarke touched her fingertips to her lips and pointed them at her.

Inhale, exhale.

Lexa caught Nia’s blade with hers and pushed her back, deflecting each of her swings with renewed energy and the knowledge that Clarke was safe, until she was positioned so she could kick the toe of her boot under her other sword and in a practiced move, she flipped the blade up and her left hand caught it by the hilt, cool now in the lingering twilight. She gripped it like an old friend’s hand and relaxed into a fighting stance.

“ _Heda_ … _Heda_ … _Heda_ …”

Nia glared at her and retreated, but Lexa thought she saw a flash of uncertainty in her expression. She pressed her advantage and lunged cross-body with her left-hand blade. It sank into the flesh of Nia’s left thigh and she stumbled backward and Lexa lunged again. Nia regained her balance and positioned her shield to block, and it worked to deflect Lexa’s right-hand blade, but her left-hand blade skimmed across the top of the shield and bit into the flesh where Nia’s neck met her shoulder. It missed anything vital, but blood flowed out of the cut.

Lexa pressed this advantage, and drove Nia back to the edge of the clearing, drawing more blood from her legs and sword arm before Nia finally rallied and counterattacked, their blades again sparking. Lexa spun to her right and landed a kick on Nia’s left thigh as she did, and Nia stumbled and tried to limp out of the way. Lexa swung both her swords down toward her head but Nia caught them on her shield.

And then her shield arm dropped, and from Nia’s expression, it was beyond her control. As she got up, the shield slipped to the ground and her left arm hung at her side, and it was clear she couldn’t use it anymore. She stood, panting, staring at Lexa, this bloodied, broken woman with madness and violence in her eyes and suddenly she was nothing beyond that, nothing beyond the past Nia had forced her to share, nothing beyond the circumstances that Nia had created to bind them together, at the expense of another young woman who, in spite of everything, had loved Lexa anyway, even at her death.

“Yield,” Lexa said.

Nia sneered.

“Yield now and the clan council will grant you fair consideration.”

“You would grant me an audience with the council?” she scoffed.

“ _Sha_.”

“Then you’re more a coward than I thought.” Nia attacked with surprising speed, her sword raised in what would have been a death blow had it connected. Lexa crossed her swords and caught the stroke, shoved Nia backward, and used her own momentum to add extra force to her lunge and her blade slid completely through Nia’s left thigh this time and she went down on her back, face contorted in pain as Lexa jerked her sword free.

She stood over her, wondering at the strange numbness that filled her chest. How long had she waited for this moment, for the chance to make Nia pay for what she had done to Costia, for all the things since, and for Clarke? And here she lay, no longer formidable, no longer the threat Lexa had built her up to be, her arm damaged, her trousers and shirt stained with blood, her face and neck caked with it as well.

A woman who destroyed what she could not have, a woman who surely hated who she was beyond the trappings of power. She was nothing more than human, trained as a warrior, yes, forged in leadership, whose choices had brought her to this place.

Nothing more than human.

And nothing less.

“Yield,” Lexa said again, her blade at Nia’s throat.

Nia glared up at her.

“Yield or I finish this now.”

Nia grimaced and said nothing for a moment, as if debating whether to test Lexa further. “I yield,” she said, her voice a rasp but audible, and whispers started circulating, rippling outward.

Lexa slid her swords into place on her back. “ _Nia kom Azgeda_ has yielded to me, _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ ,” she announced. “Her fate now rests with the clan council. Take her to Polis.” She didn’t bother assigning the task. Indra or Tam would ensure it was done quickly. She no longer cared what happened to Nia, no longer cared for the woman who had taken so much from her but somehow, in ways she would never understand, had given her even more.

She turned and searched the crowd for Clarke, her desperation to see her—to touch her—nearly as painful as any of the wounds she had received this day. She saw her, standing next to Jasper, Monty, and Bellamy, and she started toward her, forcing herself not to run, even when Clarke broke away from them and rushed toward her only to falter halfway and stare, eyes wide in horror.

“Lexa,” she shouted, and acting purely on instinct, Lexa drew one of her swords with her right hand and a knife with her left and turned just as Nia lunged. Lexa used the outside of her sword to deflect Nia’s and with her left hand, she rammed her knife upward into Nia’s torso, as far as it would go, and twisted it.

Nia gasped, dropped her sword, and fell forward against her, eyes wide with shock. For a few moments, they stared at each other in a strange intimacy, Nia holding Lexa’s wrist, the warmth of her blood spilling over Lexa’s hand. Lexa let go of the knife hilt and Nia sagged, still holding onto her wrist, until she fell to her knees and stared up at her.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” Lexa said and Nia released her wrist and sank, limp, to the ground.

Nothing more than human.

Nothing less.

Silence hung heavy over the clearing until Lexa broke it. “ _Haiplana Nia stedaun_! _Gona kom Azgeda, teik in yo brana heda, haihefa Roan_!” 9 She turned slowly until she found him standing near Indra.

“ _Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_ ,” Lexa repeated. She gestured at him and the warriors standing with him cheered, and it spread until almost all the _Azgeda_ still standing joined in, weapons raised in celebration.

And then another cheer superseded that one, until the trees seemed to shake with shouts of, “ _Heda_ … _Heda_ … _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_.”

Lexa raised her sword and the chant morphed into a long, raucous roar of approval as people raised their weapons along with her. And then there were warriors all around, smiling and celebrating, jostling and laughing. Lexa sheathed her sword and stood amidst them, their joy washing over her, and the numbness that had filled her earlier melted away, replaced by relief and the deep, infallible warmth of a connection she needed to affirm, right now.

She pushed through the jubilant warriors, searching, but didn’t see Clarke until she made it out of the crowd and found her just beyond, her expression anxious as she scanned the celebration, standing on her toes.

Lexa stopped and drank her in for a few seconds, struck by her presence, and how beautiful she was, even in circumstances like this.

And then Clarke turned and saw her.

“Lexa,” she said, and she practically threw herself into Lexa’s arms, where she should always be, and she was laughing and crying against Lexa’s neck and Lexa only held her tighter, as her heart threatened to burst with emotions she had only just come to recognize.

“ _Yu ste ait_?” 10 Lexa asked softly.

Clarke laughed again, a sound Lexa would never tire of hearing. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Nau._ ”11 She leaned back a bit so she could look into Lexa’s eyes, but she kept her arms around her neck. “Except I should probably let go of you, or people will talk.” She started to pull away but Lexa didn’t let her and Clarke looked at her, surprised.

“We will continue this conversation later,” Lexa said with a smile. “In greater depth.” And she kissed her gently on the forehead.

Clarke stared into her eyes, stunned, then pulled her close again and clung to her and the sounds of the celebration faded as Lexa sank into this moment, and lost herself for a little while in Clarke’s arms, in the feel of her body pressed close.

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa looked over Clarke’s shoulder at Indra, who was regarding her with amusement but also worry.

“ _Sha_.”

“Night comes. And you need rest and your wounds tended to. As does Clarke.”

She was right, but all Lexa wanted to do was stand here with Clarke, because it meant she was close, and safe.

“We are prepared to return to Polis now, _Heda_. I sent a scout ahead.”

“To alert Balta, no doubt,” Lexa said.

Clarke chuckled. “Indra’s right, _Heda_.”

Lexa knew that, but with a great effort, she reluctantly released Clarke and it was a physical pang of longing, not having her in her arms.

“ _Skaikru_ is coming to Polis, as well,” Indra said. “They are on their way here.”

Lexa nodded. “Very well. If this is a decision all have agreed to.”

“It is,” Indra said with an emphatic nod.

“Then please ensure accommodations are made for them as well as for Roan and _Azgeda_. And see to it that Roan is able to do what is wished with Nia.”

“Tam is making these arrangements. I already sent her back.”

“Ontari?”

“Roan has put her under guard.”

“And what of the water?”

“You are always _Heda_ ,” Clarke teased.

Indra almost smiled. “Titus sent word that the matter is resolved. We will discuss this after you have rested. There is nothing more right now for you to do.”

“We need to search the tunnels—”

“We are doing that now,” Indra said.

“The _natrona_?”

“They have been found.”

“What of—”

“Lexa,” Clarke said, “let others take care of things.”

Indra’s eyebrows practically shot to her hairline, much to Lexa’s amusement. “As you wish, _Klark kom Skaikru_. But I request the same of you.”

The expression on Indra’s face was worth the lecture she would get later about displays of affection.

Clarke flashed her a grin. “Okay. I know how Balta is. So I guess we need to head out. How far is Polis?”

“Not far,” Indra said.

“Clarke,” Bellamy called from across the clearing.

She sighed. “I’ll catch up. Indra, please get her to Balta.”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_.” Indra affected an air of long-suffering patience.

“And you—” Clarke gave Lexa a look that was more than chaste concern. “We will definitely talk later.”

“I look forward to it.”

Clarke held her gaze for a moment longer than went to join Bellamy.

“Make sure Balta checks her leg,” Lexa said, watching Clarke until she could no longer see her form in the darkness. “She’s limping.” When Indra didn’t respond, she shifted her attention back to her. “Yes, _Indra kom Trikru_? You wish to say something?”

She smiled. “Come. Let us leave this place.” She started walking and Lexa followed. Several warriors with torches fell in with them, and the sounds of laughter and talking faded behind them as they moved through the forest and Lexa wondered how it was possible that she was still upright. The cuts in her shoulder and thigh weren’t the only injuries she had sustained, and her body ached from exhaustion and exertion, but the thoughts uppermost in her mind were of Clarke.

Many other warriors joined them as they walked, and through the darkness, to her right, Lexa saw flashlight beams bouncing off nearby trees and she heard voices, many of which she recognized as _Skaikru_. Soon, the two groups merged, swelling their ranks, and quiet laughter and conversation floated in the night air as they walked.

She heard Clarke talking and she smiled at the effect hearing it had on her, even in her current state of fatigue. And then Clarke was right next to her, and she squeezed Lexa’s hand and leaned close.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said, “Let’s go home.”

 

6 _Mochof gon yo badaun*_ : Thank you for your oath/loyalty/service [I made up the word “badaun” in the chapter for _Skaikru_ ’s entrance into the _kongeda_ because Peterson doesn’t seem to have a term for it. I derived it from “badan op,” which is the verb “to serve.”]  
7 _kamp daun_ : keep down/stay down  
8 _Ai ste komba raun gon yu_ : I’m coming for you [you’ve seen this one recently; _ste yuj_ you’ve seen, as well. That’s “stay strong”]  
9 _Haiplana Nia stedaun_. _Azgeda, teik in yo brana heda, haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_ : Queen Nia is dead. Azgeda, welcome your new leader, King Roan of/from Azgeda.  
10 _Yu ste ait_? Are you all right?  
11 _Sha, Heda. Nau:_ Yes, Heda. Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, this chapter kicked my ass in more ways than one. It was as hard if not harder than writing the private moments between Clexa. I approached it thinking about how Lexa might see one of the most important battles she's had to fight up to that point in her life, and about what she's come to realize about Nia and, more importantly, herself.
> 
> To me, Nia was never about this big evil presence. She was a corrupt, greedy leader, yes, who did terrible things to her people and to others, but her motivations have been about more than that, though we had to filter them through the people she affected. I was more interested in how her past actions defined her in Lexa's mind, and what it meant to Lexa to see her through different eyes--through more mature, older eyes. I hope I was able to convey that here.
> 
> That said, we're not quite done yet, friends! There are a few more things to wrap up (and omg I need to have some more Clexa time...heh), so I hope you stick with me.
> 
> I am currently on the road until literally the end of this month, so though I will be working on the next installment between now and then, but I'm not sure I'll have it done. Let's tentatively say the weekend of July 1 for it. I'll keep y'all posted if that changes.
> 
> And you can hit me up on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) or [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com). You can ASK ME ANYTHING on either of those, so if you've got questions or you wanna chat or whatever, come on down!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kudos and comments. I really appreciate it, friends. And for reals, ask me anything on Twitter or Tumblr.
> 
> Songs that helped with the writing of this chapter: Filter, "Hey Man, Nice Shot"; Traces, "The Light": Simple Minds, "See the Lights"; Tsörf, "Hold On to Me"


	67. Battle Fatigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody heads back to Polis, but there's some tension in the _Skaikru_ ranks. Clarke makes a decision about the _natrona_ and has a talk with Abby and then she gets some much-needed Lexa time.

Clarke somehow managed to keep walking though every muscle in her body was telling her to just lie down and sleep. Her knee and side ached, and though it didn’t feel like Ontari had broken anything, she knew she was going to be sore for a while.

Lexa was talking to Indra as they walked and Clarke watched her in the light from the torches that some of the warriors carried. She wanted nothing more than to be pressed close against her again, than to feel the expanse of her skin and the touch of her hands and lips as further verification that she was here, that she had come, that Nia was indeed dead. She needed the physical contact in addition to the emotional, needed it like she needed air.

She also knew Lexa was exhausted, but she didn’t show it. She walked next to Indra without any indication of the injuries she had sustained, and Clarke marveled at the depths she had tapped to fight the battles she had over the past few days. She then glanced to her left, toward Bellamy, who walked next to Jasper and Octavia.

Lincoln had caught up with them and he was talking to another _Trikru_ warrior and then he looked at Octavia and said something that made her smile and the look he gave her expressed his affection, even in the flickering light of the torches. Clarke had really come to appreciate that aspect of Grounder culture, how emotions could so readily be conveyed without words, through glances, touches, and the even the silences in shared moments.

She looked up as Lexa moved closer and it was surprising, how her body responded to her presence, even in her current state of fatigue, how little sparks of pleasure and arousal bounced through her chest.

“We are not far from Polis,” Lexa said, an undercurrent of concern in her voice that Clarke knew was directed at her. Nothing much escaped Lexa’s observations.

“I’m sure Balta will be pleased that she has the two of us to patch up now,” Clarke teased. “Instead of just one at a time.”

“Mmm.” Lexa said and to Clarke’s surprise, she took her hand and ran her thumb lightly over her skin and more sparks seemed to shoot up her arm. Lexa’s touch was both comforting and exciting, and she continued to hold on. Clarke shot her a look, since this contact was practically out in the open, darkness notwithstanding, but Lexa only squeezed her hand and didn't let go.

“Indra tells me that Tam is waiting at the gates with the rest of _Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said. “She will take all of you to the tower.”

“And you?”

“I will see you there.” She held Clarke’s gaze for a moment in the torchlight as they walked. “There are some things I must do first.”

“ _Yu laik Heda otaim_ ,” Clarke said with a smile. “ _Ba ai laik Wanheda_ , _en ai tel yu op bilaik yu gaf in resh en dina_.” 1

Lexa chuckled. “Is _Wanheda_ fretting over me again?”

“You need to ask?” She squeezed her hand. “I have decided. And you know what that means.”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_. And I will ensure that you have the opportunity to fret over me later. Just please have Balta or Abby check your wounds before that.”

Clarke almost groaned. Abby. She had forgotten that she was here. Bellamy had said she had come, and Clarke was grateful because she could help with the wounded from the bombing as well as the other battles, but she didn’t have the energy to deal with the unsettled terrain between them. Especially where Lexa was concerned.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said, keeping her response as neutral as possible.

Lexa flashed her a smile then let go of her hand, her fingers tracking down Clarke’s and the ache she felt then had nothing to do with the events of the past couple of days. She started to walk away when something occurred to Clarke.

“ _Heda_ , what of the _natrona_?”

“They are under my protection as long as they remain in Polis,” she said. “If they test my good will, however, I will put them out. The decision about their place in Arkadia remains with you. I will accept your decision in this matter.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said and though the veneer of the Commander had slipped back into place, she caught the warmth and concern in her eyes before she moved back to Indra, a few paces away.

“What was that about?” Bellamy asked and Clarke wondered how long he had been that close.

“Michi and Lora. And Jax, I guess. They’re under her protection in Polis, but if they screw it up, she’ll kick them out of the city.”

“Harsh,” Jasper said from her other side.

“They’re traitors,” Clarke said. “And they got banished.”

“So we heard.” Bellamy moved a little closer and lowered his voice. “But they did help you.”

Clarke sighed. “They didn’t have a choice.”

“Sure they did,” Jasper said. “And they chose to help you.”

“Because it was the only way they were going to get out of there,” Clarke shot back.

“Oh, please.” Even Jasper’s voice held an eyeroll. “I know you’re _Wanheda_ and all, but I’m betting you would’ve had a harder time getting out of there without them. Or without me, thank you very much.”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “This is all true. But it doesn’t mean things have changed.”

Jasper started to say something else when Bellamy interrupted. “What did Lexa mean when she said that she would accept your decision?”

“Only Lexa can lift a banishment, but if I want her to do it in this case, she will.”

Jasper’s eyes widened. “So basically, while nobody was looking, Clarke here managed to get a bunch of favors from the Commander. How exactly does that work and what’s the price?”

“I’m too tired to play this game with you,” she retorted. “There is no price. Each clan handles its own internal affairs, with Lexa as final say if it’s required in terms of custom. And this custom is, only the Commander can lift a banishment, but she takes advisement from the clan wanting to do it.”

“But she turned the whole decision over to you,” Bellamy said, skepticism in his voice. “And whatever you decide she’s okay with.”

“That’s her prerogative,”she snapped, frustrated.

“What exactly is going on?” Bellamy asked and Clarke knew that he wanted to know if she had somehow sold them out, somehow made _Skaikru_ beholden to Lexa.

“Nothing. This is what happens when you build alliances. You learn to work together.”

“And you still trust her?” Bellamy pushed.

“Guys,” Monty said. “Seriously? After all the crap we’ve dealt with today and you’re arguing about this right now?”

“We’ve had this conversation,” Clarke said, ignoring Monty. “Nothing’s changed. I do. And she contacted Arkadia and worked with you to stop Nia and find me.”

“She needed Raven’s bombs,” he said.

“And she needed you to know that I was in trouble,” Clarke snapped back. “Because she knew you would want to help and because she knew it was the right thing to do.”

“Look, I just want to know what being in this _kongeda_ is really going to cost.”

“Hey—” Monty again tried to smooth things over, but again Clarke ignored him.

“The same things unity cost us on the Ark. We’re on the ground, now. It’s stupid not to try to work with Lexa and her people.” Her head had started to hurt, a combination of irritation, this really long day, exhaustion, and a lack of food. And why the hell was Bellamy bringing this up now, when she was so damn tired?

“Hey. Maybe give Clarke a little space.” Octavia broke into the conversation.

“Thank you,” Monty muttered.

“She’s tired and probably injured and you’re acting like an ass,” Octavia said. “And so far, since we had to go back to the mountain, Lexa’s come through for us. So Clarke has been right about her since then.”

“All I’m saying is that Lexa’s loyalties are always with her own people,” Bellamy said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it tends to screw the rest of us over.”

“ _Skaikru_ are also her people now,” Octavia responded. “That’s how the _kongeda_ works. And if Clarke’s relationship with Lexa helps with that, then I say let it.”

Bellamy didn’t say anything else and Clarke shot Octavia a grateful look, though she was surprised at the defense and she noticed that Octavia left “relationship” open for definition.

“ _Heda_ must consider many different things when she makes decisions,” Lincoln said after a few more moments of silent trudging. “I have seen other Commanders, and she is the first who brings me hope that we can create something new among the clans, that will benefit all. She understands that with the _Maunon_ gone and _Skaikru_ on the ground that alliances are important.”

Clarke gave him a grateful look, as well.

“Leaders are often deserving of criticism,” Lincoln added. “But perhaps another time is best.”

Bellamy scowled and Jasper seemed to be extremely interested in where he placed his feet.

“Polis,” Lincoln said, and Clarke looked up, surprised to see the walls of the city so close. The gates stood open as they approached and dozens of people stood waiting, holding torches, and at the sight of Lexa, a cheer went up and that’s when Clarke realized there were far more people than just a few dozen. Maybe a hundred. Maybe more. And they parted to make way, reaching out to touch Lexa as she passed and Clarke pushed the conversation with Bellamy to the back of her mind, instead choosing to delight in watching the Commander of the thirteen clans display a part of her that _Skaikru_ rarely saw.

Lexa offered people smiles and quiet words. A quick touch here, a tousle of a child’s hair there and Clarke didn’t know how, after all she had been through, she was able to find the space and time to be present for them. But here she was, reassuring her people, engaging with them even though Clarke knew she was physically and emotionally drained and strung out on fatigue.

“ _Heda_ ,” shouted one little girl who had pushed to the front of a group of people. “ _Heda_?”

“ _Sha_ , _strikon_ ,”2 Lexa said, and she stopped and took the girl’s hand, much to the approval of the adults standing nearby.

“ _En’s ridiyo_ , _bilaik Nia stedaun_?” 3

Lexa nodded. “ _Sha_. _En’s ridiyo_.” 4

The girl let go of Lexa’s hand and instead wrapped her arms carefully around her waist, careful of her swords, and leaned her head against her hip. Lexa placed her hand gently on the girl’s head. “ _Nia stedaun, strikon_. _Nou get yu daun_.” 5

The girl looked up at her, serious expression on her face but adoration in her eyes and she let go and another woman standing nearby took the girl’s hand. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” the woman said, and Clarke wondered what Nia had done to the family, that a little girl would need to know with such certainty that she was dead.

“What was that about?” Monty asked as Lexa spoke quietly to the woman.

“The little girl wanted to know if Nia was really dead. Lexa told her yes, and not to worry,” Clarke explained.

“How often is Lexa like this?”

“Like what?”

“All…involved with people in the street like this?”

Clarke smiled. “All the time.”

He looked at her, skeptical. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh.”

Lexa finished speaking with the woman and continued walking, catching Clarke’s gaze at one point, and a current of warmth seemed to course between them before she looked away to address another person in the crowd. And then they passed through the gates where an even larger crowd was waiting, and where the cheers were even louder. Several more warriors surrounded them as they continued to walk through the city toward the tower.

“Okay, this place is insane,” Jasper said above the din. “Do you think there might be a bar open?”

“Seriously?” Octavia smacked him lightly on the back of the head. “We just got here. Can you please wait until tomorrow to offend people?”

Clarke didn’t hear his response, but Tam was suddenly right in front of her.

“ _Wanheda_ —”

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke said before Tam could speak speak further. “Where should we go?”

“This way.” She motioned and Clarke alerted Bellamy and Monty to grab Jasper and Octavia and Lincoln then followed Tam through the crowd until they were free of it and approaching the guardhouse by the gates, where a group of people stood. One detached herself and practically threw herself into Clarke’s arms.

“Okay, so I’m a little glad to see you,” Raven said as she stepped back.

“Same here. Thanks for the Ravenators. And for everything.”

“Any time. It’s kind of my thing.” She grinned but she looked tired and the tight lines around her mouth indicated that she was in pain. Before Clarke could ask her if she’d been checked over, Gina was hugging her.

“Good to see you.” She stepped away so Harper and even Sam could also hug her.

“Welcome back, Griffin,” Harper said with a smile. “It’s be nice, though, if you don’t make this a habit. Raven’s out of bombs at the moment.”

“Like that ever stopped me,” Raven shot back. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure your mom would like to see you.” She motioned to her right with her head, toward the guardhouse where Abby was checking Michi’s injury with a _Trikru_ man who looked familiar but Clarke couldn’t place him.

“Yeah. But why don’t you sit down while we’re getting organized to go to the tower?”

“Says the woman who can barely stand—” Raven was cut off because Bellamy hugged her and Clarke took the opportunity to talk to Gina.

“Has she been checked?”

Gina shook her head. “We just got here a little bit ago. Don’t worry. I’ll get her to rest. And speaking of, you look like you need about a month of sleep.”

“I feel that way.” Clarke squeezed her shoulder. “Rest with her. I don’t know when we’ll head out. Tam’s probably waiting for word from the tower before we do.”

Gina nodded and went to talk to Bellamy and Raven while Clarke limped over to the guardhouse, dreading every step but too tired to do anything else. People milled around and the bits of conversation she caught were either praising Lexa or talking about Nia’s death.

“Hey,” Lora said before Clarke got to Abby. She was smiling, and Clarke was actually glad to see her. “You look like you got caught in that last bomb you threw,” Lora said, tone wry.

“Something like that. How are you? What happened?”

“I’m okay. After we left you to fight off half the Ice Nation, we made it to another entrance. A couple of Ice Nation warriors were hanging out, but Sam and Harper showed up and the Ice Nation guys left. Fast. Guess it was the guns Sam and Harper were carrying.”

“Probably. How’s Michi?”

“Annoying as ever, but it kind of grows on you after a while. You know. Like a fungus or something.”

Clarke laughed, but winced because it hurt her ribs a little.

“I’ll let you talk to your mom,” Lora said quietly. She gave Clarke’s arm a little squeeze and started to walk away.

“Wait,” Clarke said, and Lora stopped. “Do you think you’d want to go back to Arkadia after this?”

Her eyes widened. “Yeah. Definitely. I already told you the mountain was a really stupid mistake on my part.”

Clarke nodded. “I’ll talk to Lexa.”

“You think she’ll be into overriding—” she gestured at the mark on her left hand.

“Yes. I’m not sure what the process is, but for now, you and Michi and Jax are under her protection. Don’t screw that up.”

“I won’t.” She glanced at Michi then back at Clarke.

“I’ll talk to her, too,” Clarke said.

“And I’ll convince her not to screw anything else up. But I’m not so sure about Jax.”

“Where is he?”

“Inside the guardhouse.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“A little.”

“How did it go?” She meant in terms of Lora’s uneasy relationship with him.

She shrugged. “Fine for me. I told you it was stupid to think he was legit. But he’s worried about Bellamy and everybody, since he was the messenger boy from the mountain.”

Clarke nodded. “He should be worried. I’ll talk to him, too.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure it’s worth it.”

She waited for Lora to continue.

“He’s trouble.”

“I know. I’ll be talking to Abby, too.”

“Speaking of…” Lora motioned at Abby, a few paces away. She had finished with Michi and was talking to the _Trikru_ man Clarke didn’t recognize. “Go on. I’ll talk to Michi.”

“Thanks.” Clarke looked at Abby, but she clearly hadn’t seen her yet, so Clarke moved a little closer and waited for her to finish her conversation. The _Trikru_ man looked up and his eyes widened when he saw her.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” he said and Abby jerked a little, as if she’d been struck, then stared at Clarke, like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“Hi, Mom.”

Abby shook her head and laughed and then she had wrapped Clarke in a hug that threatened to squeeze the breath out of her lungs.

“Careful,” Clarke managed. “There’s a little bit of damage.”

Abby released her but cupped her face. “There always is,” she said softly. “How bad?”

“Bruises, mostly. Some cuts, probably.” She shrugged. “The usual.”

Abby laughed, and there were tears in her eyes. “I suppose I owe Lexa a thank you.”

“She’ll thank you, too, for coming.”

“She already has.” Abby moved her hands to Clarke’s shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. “If you want, we can talk later.”

Relief washed through her, that Abby was giving her space. “Yeah. We kind of have to, though. Since I’m the _Skaikru_ rep and all.” She smiled. “And yeah, that whole mother-daughter thing.”

Abby laughed again. “Clarke—”

“It’s okay. I want to talk.” She squeezed Abby’s hands. “And I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“There’s that. But it’s irrelevant now, since you’re back.” She wiped at her eyes. “Enough for now. It looks like I’ll have some work to do.” She motioned at the man she’d been speaking with earlier. “Remember Jef, from Lexa’s camp?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. _Mochof_.”

He gave her a nod. “It is good to have you back safely,” he said.

“Balta sent him to check on things before we go to the tower. I suppose that’s where we’ll be staying?”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “And there’s a whole bunch of stuff going on right now, so I’m guessing she’ll want you in on some of the clan meetings while you’re here.”

“I also want to check the people who were injured in the bombings and anybody else who might need it,” Abby said. “We brought supplies.” She motioned at a couple stacks of metal boxes that Clarke was glad had been painted black because the Mt. Weather logo was no longer visible.

“Lexa will appreciate that.” She looked over at Jef. “Did Balta have any instructions for me?”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_.” He smiled. “ _Dina en resh_.”

“ _En em na gaf in_ , _bilaik chek ai au_ ,”6 she said with an answering smile.

“ _Wanheda ste briyon_.” 7 His tone was innocent, but there might have been a spark of amusement in his eyes.

“Clarke.”

She looked over at Tam.

“It is time to go to the tower.”

“Okay. Mom, can you organize our people—” she looked around. “This isn’t everybody.”

“No. A few went back to Arkadia in the Rover, including Miller. I decided it was better to have a smaller group here. We’ll figure out when the rest of us are going back in the next day or so. Depending on what Lexa and you think.”

“All right. Can you get this group ready to go to the tower?”

Abby gave her a look.

“I just need to check some things with Tam. I’ll be right there.” She waited until Abby had walked over to Bellamy then turned to Tam.

“Will the _natrona_ have quarters in the tower?”

“ _Sha_.”

“I want Jax watched carefully.”

Tam nodded.

“Keep Michi and Lora together. Put Jax with Sam.”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said. “And now, it is time for you to go, that you may rest.”

Clarke smiled. “I see Balta has spoken to everyone.”

Tam shrugged. “I know that _Heda_ would wish this, too. As do I.”

“Clarke,” Abby called. “We’re ready.”

“Coming.” She squeezed Tam’s shoulder. “ _Mochof_.” She went to join Abby and Bellamy. The eight boxes had been distributed among _Skaikru_ and a couple of _Trikru_. They all waited for Tam to take the lead then followed her through the diminishing crowd. Most of the people had followed Lexa’s group.

“We good?” Bellamy asked Clarke as they walked.

“Fine,” she said, but she knew she sounded brusque. Regardless, her reply had the desired effect and he went to walk with Monty and Jasper, leaving her with Abby.

“How’s Kane?” Clarke asked.

“Good.”

“Any other problems with Pike or Sanders supporters?”

“No. Everybody at Arkadia seems to have calmed down, and we haven’t heard from either of those two.”

“Michi and Lora think Sanders is dead. What about Pike?”

“We haven’t heard anything and nobody has seen him.”

“Jaha and Murphy?”

“Nothing from either.”

Clarke slowed a little so their group could work their way around another group of people. The street had narrowed slightly and they were hemmed in on either side by buildings.

“I have to say, I’m impressed with Polis,” Abby said.

“It has its charms.” Clarke winced as someone bumped against her knee. “And it serves a purpose as a central political and social hub.” Plus, she thought, Lexa was here.

“Hey, Griffin.”

Clarke looked at Michi, who worked her way over. She was holding her left arm close to her body.

“I’m kind of glad to see you, in a weird way,” she said with a smirk.

“Same. How’s your shoulder?”

“Hurts. Some crazy woman shoved an arrow through it.” She made a face but tempered it with a smile.

“Yeah, well, at least she didn’t shoot you with it.”

“Valid point. Abby says it should heal well. She says you did a good job.”

Clarke looked over at Abby, who was talking to Bellamy. “I’m glad.”

“So how are you doing?”

“Same as you. Tired and sore.”

“Don’t forget hungry and thirsty.”

Clarke hadn’t forgotten. She just didn’t want focus on how thirsty she was because it made her throat hurt more. “Yeah. That too,” she said. “How’s Jax?”

Michi frowned. “Still an asshole.” She looked like she wanted to say something else about that, but thought better of it. “Lora says you’re going to talk to Lexa.”

“Yes. The three of you are under her protection while you’re in Polis.”

“I won’t screw it up.”

Clarke looked at her, surprised and amused. “That’s good news.”

She shrugged.

“So you want to go back to Arkadia?”

“Definitely. Thanks for putting in a good word to Lexa. And thanks for helping us. Even with the arrow thing.” She gave her a sheepish smile and went on ahead to catch up with Lora, who was engaged in an animated conversation with Jasper. Abby moved closer.

“You did do a good job with Michi’s injury,” she said. “The wound is a clean through-and-through.”

“I was worried the arrow was poisoned.”

“You made the right call.”

“Thanks.”

“Clarke.”

She looked at her.

“You do that a lot.”

She frowned, puzzled. “What?”

“Make the right call.”

“Maybe. Sometimes they’re bad calls and people get hurt.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not the right ones.” Abby put her arm around Clarke’s shoulders as they walked and Clarke leaned into her and they walked that way until they got to the tower, where they were surrounded by another crowd, wishing them well as they went inside. Amidst the murmurs of amazement from _Skaikru_ and the greetings from Lexa’s warriors and other people from the city, Clarke relaxed even more because it felt good to be here. In spite of all that had happened, it felt safe and warm and deep down, it felt a lot like home.

 

 _1 Yu laik Heda otaim… Ba ai laik Wanheda_, _en ai tel yu op bilaik yu gaf in resh_ * _en dina_ : You’re always _Heda_ …But I am _Wanheda_ , and I’m telling you that you need rest and food. [Peterson doesn’t have a word for “rest” in the sense that I’m using it here, so I made one up, derived from “reshop” which is “good night.”]  
2 _Sha_ , _strikon_ : Yes, little one  
3 _En’s ridiyo_ , _bilaik Nia stedaun_? Is it true, that Nia is dead?  
4 _Sha_. _En’s ridiyo_ : Yes. It’s true  
5 _Nia stedaun_ , _strikon_. _Nou get you daun_ : Nia is dead, little one. Don’t worry [you’ve seen this one]  
6 _En em na gaf in_ , _bilaik chek ai au_ : And she will want to check me over  
7 _Wanheda ste briyon_ : _Wanheda_ is wise

 

###

Clarke watched as Balta directed people to their quarters, quietly efficient but authoritative. She made note of the warriors at either end of the corridor and knew Lexa had requested it not only for _Skaikru_ ’s safety, but also for _Trikru_ peace of mind.

Octavia joined her near the door to Abby’s rooms. “I’ll keep an eye on things,” she said, “and make sure there’s no international incident or something.”

“Thank you. Lexa’s probably going to want to hold a few meetings with the council and she’ll want to get the floor cleaned up where the bombs were.”

“Raven wants to see that, by the way. She’s in investigative mode.”

“Okay.” Clarke leaned against the wall, thinking that even her skin felt tired.

“Not to bring it up, but have you made a decision about the _natrona_?”

“Michi and Lora want to go back to Arkadia. So they should.”

Octavia nodded and leaned against the wall next to her. “And Jax?”

“I don’t know. What’s your sense?”

“I’ll let you know in the next day or so. When are you talking to Lexa about it?”

“Soon. I need to talk to my mom about it, too.”

“Okay.”

Clarke watched Balta get Jasper and Monty situated in a room with Bellamy.

“You okay?”

Clarke looked at her. “For the most part. You?”

Octavia pushed off from the wall. “Same. Let me know if you think there’s anything else you think I should keep an eye on.”

“I will. Thanks, O.”

She nodded and went down the corridor to one of the rooms and Clarke glanced into Abby’s quarters.

“Everything good here?” Clarke asked.

“Better than good. If you see Lexa before I do, let her know how much we appreciate this.”

“She’ll check with you herself on that.”

A thoughtful expression crossed Abby’s face. “So where will you be?”

Clarke hesitated. “I’m not sure. Balta probably knows. I’ll ask.” She looked down the corridor and fortunately, Balta was on her way toward her. And as Clarke watched, the door at the far end of the corridor opened and a _Trikru_ warrior appeared, followed by Indra, Lexa, and more warriors. Balta waited and spoke with Lexa then walked with her toward Clarke and it was all Clarke could do not to throw herself at her again. Somewhere within, she knew she had an energy reserve just for that.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said and the corners of Lexa’s mouth twitched with a suppressed smile. And even though her facepaint was smeared and a sheen of sweat, grime, and flecks of other people’s blood decorated her cheeks and forehead, she still projected calm elegance and authority. Clarke had no idea how she did that, given the day’s events.

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said. “I have come to ensure that things are satisfactory.”

Clarke stepped out of the doorway so Abby could join them all in the corridor.

“More than satisfactory,” Abby said. “Thank you, Commander.”

“Chancellor,” Lexa said with a nod. “Please alert one of my warriors or servants if _Skaikru_ is in need of anything. I trust you have already met Balta. She can also address any needs or concerns you may have.”

“I have met Balta. And thank you for providing space for us here in Polis. I hope I have the opportunity to see more of it.”

“I will gladly provide a tour should you decide to stay a bit longer.”

“Thank you. I was also hoping to talk with you soon about providing medical care to your wounded from the bombing and to help with any other recent injuries.”

Lexa nodded. “Balta can coordinate that with you tomorrow. I hope that you are amenable to meeting with me and Clarke to discuss other matters.”

Clarke shot a furtive glance at Abby.

“Yes. Just let me know when it’s convenient.”

She almost breathed a sigh of relief that Abby wasn’t going to get weird about that.

Lexa nodded. “I will take my leave. Clarke, I hope to see you a bit later.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa held her gaze as she passed and its intensity could have melted stone. Clarke wrenched her own gaze back to Balta and Abby. The former’s expression was placid, and Clarke was glad. Abby’s expression, however, held questions and Clarke willed her not to ask them. Fortunately, Balta spoke.

“So, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” she said with a smile. “Let us now go to your quarters. _Abi kom Skaikru_ , would you accompany us? I’m sure you would like to inspect Clarke’s wounds yourself.”

“Yes, I would.”

“Good. Let us go.” Balta led them to the lift and Abby’s eyes widened as a warrior called down the shaft then stepped aboard along with another warrior.

“Amazing,” Abby said as they ascended.

The lift stopped and they got off. Four guards stood in the corridor, two outside Lexa’s quarters and two outside Clarke’s.

“Where are we?” Abby asked as they left the lift, eyeing the guards with suspicion.

“Clarke’s quarters,” Balta said in response. “ _Heda_ ensures security for those who are guests in the tower.”

“So there will be guards on our floor, too?”

“Yes.” Balta stopped at Clarke’s door and turned to face Abby. “It is protocol, and given events of the past few days, you may request more guards if you wish,” she said, smoothly disarming what Clarke knew would be Abby’s demand to know why there were guards at all.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” one of the guards near her door said. “ _Ste os bilaik yu don kom daun_.” 8

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said to her with a smile. She gestured at Abby. “ _Em laik Abi kom Skaikru_ , _heda kom Skaikru_.” 9

The guard inclined her head at Abby. “Welcome, Chancellor, to Polis. Please let any _Trikru_ warrior or servant know should you require anything.”

Abby nodded at her and followed Clarke into her quarters. Someone had already lit several candles and there was food and drink on the table. Clarke beelined for it and drank three cups of water in quick succession.

“Eat,” Balta said and Clarke sank gratefully into one of the chairs and piled pieces of meat onto a slice of bread. She put that on a plate for Abby and made herself another open-face sandwich and gratefully took a bite. Balta went into the bathroom and Clarke heard the sounds of water splashing into the tub.

“There’s running water here?” Abby asked as she sat down.

“Not really. They keep water in containers in the bathrooms. The sewer system in the tower seems to work via gravity. I keep forgetting to ask where the waste goes. Something for us to do while you’re here, see if it’s a system that works well that Arkadia can replicate.”

Abby took a bite of her sandwich. “This is really good.”

Clarke smiled and drank another half-cup of water. They ate in silence for a few minutes until Balta emerged from the bathroom.

“The bath is ready,” Balta said. “I will try to return before you sleep. If I do not, one of the guards will escort the Chancellor back to her quarters when she is prepared to leave.”

Clarke stood. “ _Mochof_. _Ai na chich yu op nodataim_.” 10

“ _Sha_.” Balta smiled. “We will talk tomorrow, Chancellor, if not before,” she said to Abby. “I have left salves for you to use on Clarke. She knows which ones work for which wounds. _Reshop, Klark_. Rest well, Chancellor.” She left, shutting the door quietly behind her.

“She seems…competent.”

Clarke shot her a look. “She’s more than competent.” She started stripping off her clothing and Abby raised her eyebrows.

“Wound inspection,” Clarke said with a shrug and she walked into the bathroom carrying her shirt and jacket. Once next to the tub, she finished undressing and left her clothing in a pile in a corner, thinking she’d probably have to burn some of it.

“What happened here?” Abby said, her fingers pressing lightly on Clarke’s ribs.

She hissed between her teeth. “Kicked.”

“Nia?”

“Ontari. Earlier today, before Lexa’s fight with Nia. Nothing’s broken. Hurts, though.”

Abby said nothing for a while and instead checked the numerous cuts, scratches, and bruises across her skin, but nothing that required stitches though Clarke knew they would hurt to clean.

“What did Nia do to you?”

“Nothing, really. They used chloroform to kidnap me, though.”

Abby stopped and looked at her. “Chloroform?”

“From the mountain, I’m guessing. Did you find any there?”

“Yes. A few bottles. So Emerson gave some to Nia?”

“Maybe.” She winced as Abby checked the edges of a bruise. “Or maybe Sanders or Pike did.” Which was a possibility she hadn’t considered. And she was too tired to really think it through.

“So Nia didn’t hurt you?”

“No. And she actually was pissed that her warriors hurt me.” She gestured at her jaw, which still throbbed. “Which doesn’t mean that anybody thought highly of her. She was going to kill me. And she made that abundantly clear.”

Abby didn’t respond and instead inspected her jaw. “Can you chew okay?”

“Yes. It’s sore, though.”

“Looks like it would be. Nothing broken here, though. Are your teeth okay?”

“As far as I can tell.”

Abby checked her back and it didn’t bother Clarke like it had in the past, standing so exposed in front of her, though she almost laughed because some of the more faded marks were probably from Lexa. Thinking about that—and how she got those marks—made heat race down her legs and she wanted to laugh even more. She bit her lip while Abby continued checking her injuries.

“Go ahead and ask,” Clarke said after another few moments of silence, guessing that Abby had more questions.

“What exactly did Nia want from you?”

“Lexa.”

“She really was going to use you to make Lexa accept her challenge?” Abby gestured toward the tub and Clarke gratefully climbed in, sinking slowly into the water because it stung her injuries.

“Yes. But Lexa would have accepted the challenge anyway. She would have to—” she sighed in relief and leaned back in the tub, “because politically, it was the only option.”

“She would have let you die?” Abby’s tone was accusatory but Clarke didn’t take the bait.

“No.” She sat up and took the bar of soap and cloth Balta had left on a wooden stand nearby and started washing her legs.

“How would she have stopped that from happening?”

“She would have found a way,” Clarke said with utter certainty, and it warmed her all over again to know that Lexa would indeed have found a way to ensure her safety. “As it turns out, it was a good idea for me to teach her to use the radio and that I had a couple of Raven’s bombs on me.” She carefully washed her arms.

“I want to talk a little more about what happened to you. And I want to know where you stand with Lexa."

"We're good," she said dismissively.

"How good?"

She didn't respond and carefully cleaned a scrape on her shin.

"Clarke."

"What exactly do you want me to say? Things are good between us. The _kongeda_ will probably be stronger than ever now because Roan has asked to join, and Lexa is interested in strengthening alliances."

Abby's lips pressed into a thin line. "I meant on a more personal level."

"And I'm asking you to trust me."

That took her aback and for a while neither spoke.

"Okay," Abby said. "I think we should talk about it, though."

Clarke slid completely underwater and ran her hands through her hair to make sure it was wet. “I know,” she said when she surfaced. “I’m just not sure now is the right time.” And it surprised her, how neutral and mature she sounded, dealing with Abby on this level.

“I think you’re right,” Abby said after a few moments, surprising Clarke again. “Want me to do your hair?”

“That would be great," she said, cautiously appreciative that Abby had dropped the subject.

Abby took the soap and started washing Clarke’s hair and Clarke let her because she was tired but she also sensed a tentative layer of something new between them, a delicate new trust that Abby was trying out and Clarke wanted to give them both room to see how it might fit.

“Rinse,” Abby said after a few minutes and Clarke ducked under water again a couple of times, working to remove as much soap as possible.

“There’s a bucket—”

“Got it.” Abby picked it up and used it to pour water over Clarke’s head.

“So what do you think? Anything serious I need to worry about?” Clarke asked as she stood and squeezed water out of her hair.

Abby handed her one of the big drying cloths. “No, fortunately. But you’ll be sore for a while.”

“I’m tougher than I look,” she said with a smile as she wiped herself off.

“And sometimes I forget that.”

Clarke looked at her. “And I don’t understand that because I get it from you.”

Abby’s eyes filled with tears and she grabbed another of the drying cloths and wrapped it around Clarke and pulled her close and Clarke let her, because she knew that something was shifting between them and even though they no doubt would continue to have issues and they’d continue to fall into old patterns, this moment was part of the foundation of something different.

After a while, Abby helped Clarke out of the tub. “Which salve do you want me to use?” she asked as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

Clarke picked one of the jars Balta had left and sniffed it. “This one. It’s the stuff you used on Jasper at Lexa’s camp. It’s good on bruises, too.”

“I’m going to ask her how they make this,” Abby said as she worked it gently into the worst of Clarke’s bruises, including the one on her jaw.

“She’ll show you. There’s a lot we can learn from Lexa’s people.”

Abby made a noncommittal noise. “Let me have another look at your knee.”

Clarke moved so she was more in the direct light from the closest candles. Abby carefully palpated her kneecap and had her bend it, some of which was painful.

“I’m guessing a pretty bad bruise to the patella. The best thing for it is to stay off it for a couple of days, but I know how you are, so I’ll leave it to you to get off it when it bothers you.” She rubbed some salve into it. “Tell me about the injuries from the bombing.”

“Lacerations from flying debris. Contusions. Some broken bones, presumably from being thrown against walls. Possible internal injuries on a few. Some might need antibiotics, but I know those are scarce. You’ll see.” She left the bathroom and went to a shelf where clothing was stacked and selected an oversized shirt and a pair of the shorts that Balta had left after her previous injuries.

After she dressed, she ate another open-face sandwich and drank two more cups of water, Abby watching with amusement.

“What?” Clarke asked as she chewed.

“Nothing. It’s just…I don’t know yet.”

“Weird between us,” Clarke said between bites.

Abby’s eyes widened and she shrugged. “No. Just different. You’re…doing different things and you don’t fit the idea or box that I had for you when you were younger.” She raised her hand before Clarke could say anything. “That’s on me. Things change. They _have_ changed. And I’m not sure what to do with it all.”

She nodded and swallowed. “How about you help with the wounded first and with next steps in terms of the _kongeda_ after that and we’ll figure out when to talk about other things later?”

Abby smiled. “Triage.”

She returned the smile. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Clarke finished the sandwich and drank another cup of water as Abby walked around, looking at the furnishings. She opened the balcony doors and cool night air caused nearby candle flames to flicker and bounce.

“Do you like it here?”

Clarke joined her in the doorway to the balcony. “Yes.”

Abby went out on the balcony and Clarke followed, the wood underfoot cold to her bare feet.

“The past few days have been overwhelming.” Abby looked out over the city.

“Few days? The past few _months_ have been that way.”

She laughed. “I’m older and maybe more set in my ways. And if you ever become a parent, I think you’ll understand a few more things about me.”

Clarke stared into the darkness beyond Polis and thought about that. She hadn’t given parenthood much thought, because life on the Ark was precarious enough, but down here, everything was unpredictable. Or rather, it had been. Lexa and the _kongeda_ provided, ironically, a structure that she hadn’t had in a long time, since before Jake had died.

And she thought about what Lora had said in Nia’s cell, about how Abby had played a video that Jake had made, explaining the dire circumstances the Ark faced. “What did Jaha tell you?” she said.

Abby turned to look at her. “When?”

“When Dad said that the Ark was dying.”

“Clarke—”

“Mom. It’s important. For both of us.”

“You said you didn’t think this was the right time to talk about things.”

“Maybe some things. And maybe this is one thing I’d like to get in the open now.” Before she was rested and in full control of her faculties. Asking about this now could be the best way to blunt any pain.

Abby hesitated then spoke. “I knew your father wanted to go public.” She cleared her throat softly. “I went to Jaha because in the past, he had helped talk people around to different strategies. I didn’t know who else to talk to then, and I thought if Jake went public, it would destroy the Ark’s unity and put him in a bad position.”

Clarke expected to feel anger, to want to lash out, but instead only sadness filled her. “And?”

“Jaha said he would talk to your father.”

She nodded, realizing that she had expected that answer. “So he betrayed you.”

“I shouldn’t have gone to Jaha. I should have let your father go public—” Her voice trembled then broke.

“Yeah, you probably should have. And it was really shitty, letting Wells carry what you had done.” Saying it only added more sadness.

“Yes.” And her voice was heavy with tears. “I didn’t want to lose you, not after what happened to Jake. So I made more bad decisions and ended up losing you anyway.”

Clarke was quiet, absorbing Abby’s admissions. “But you showed Dad’s video after all.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Lora from Farm Station. One of the _natrona_. She told me. She said Jax from Farm Station also blames you for what happened to his father, who volunteered for the culling.”

Abby half-laughed, a sad, bitter sound. “He was the messenger from the mountain.”

“Yes.”

“I guess I can’t blame him.”

“And that’s exactly the point, Mom. You can’t blame him. Just like you can’t blame me for feeling the way I do.” She gripped the railing, needing its cold surface to ground her. “I’m trying to deal with knowing that your going to Jaha killed Dad. I get on a rational level that you thought you were doing the right thing, that you thought you were actually saving Dad and the Ark. But my heart can’t reconcile that yet. I don’t honestly know if it ever will. But I’m trying.” She stared out into the dark again. “No guarantees, though.”

“I understand,” she said, her voice an open wound and in the silence that fell between them again there was pain, but maybe the beginnings of healing, too.

“And speaking of the _natrona_ , I’m going to have Lexa lift the banishments off Lora and Michi. They want to go back to Arkadia.”

“Lexa’s willing to do that?”

“She’ll accept whatever decision I make.” Her tone held a challenge, daring Abby to press her again with regard to her relationship with Lexa.

“Do you think they’ll be all right in Arkadia?” Abby asked instead.

“Yes. If you’re willing to take them back.”

“I am. I’m sure Kane will be, too. What about Jax?”

“I’m watching him for now. He’s not a fan of yours and may not be the best thing for Arkadia, but he also has nowhere else to go. I’ll know more in the next couple of days.”

Abby chuckled.

“What?”

“Just…you.”

Clarke waited for her to elaborate.

“It’s strange for me, to hear you talk like a leader, making decisions like this. I think you’re a better one now than I ever hoped to be.” She paused. “Your dad would have been proud.”

“Maybe,” she said. “Maybe not,” she added, thinking about the first time at the mountain. Any further words caught in her throat and she moved closer and pulled Abby into a hug.

“You’ve done what you thought needed to be done,” Abby said against her hair. “And it always came from a place of what you thought was for the greater good.”

“I’m not sure about that, but thanks.” She hugged her tighter and it felt good, this uncharted territory between them.

Someone knocked at the door and Clarke broke the moment and went to answer it. Balta stood outside with a servant who carried a tray with a pitcher and two fresh cups.

“I thought perhaps I would escort the Chancellor to her quarters and I thought also that she might wish to see the wounded on the way, to assess them.”

“Yes, actually, I would,” Abby said from behind Clarke. “Thank you.”

Balta entered with the servant, who went to the table and placed the pitcher and the cups on it then loaded the other dishes onto her tray.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said as she retreated. She checked the pitcher. Tea. She poured herself a cup and sipped and the warm, earthy spice coursed down her throat like she imagined honey would. She didn’t miss the fact that the servant had brought an extra cup.

“Do you require anything further?” Balta asked her, the barest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth as she looked from the empty cup to Clarke’s face.

“No. _Mochof gon ething_.” 11

Balta nodded. “Then I’ll take my leave. Chancellor, if you would accompany me?”

Abby looked at Clarke. “Good night.”

“’Night, Mom. See you tomorrow.” She held her gaze for a moment longer and then Abby left with Balta and for the first time in a while, Clarke was alone with her thoughts, in a place that felt more like home than any other place she’d been. She topped off her tea with another glance at the empty cup and went back onto the balcony, sipping as she stared out over the city, hearing bits of raucous laughter and music. Myriad torches lit some of the streets near the tower, creating blazing strips like the spokes of a wheel that led from the tower toward the city walls. Some parts of the city remained cloaked in darkness, broken by pinpricks of lone flames, but a festive air had settled across Polis and she hoped it stayed that way for a while.

She relaxed, but she knew she was still a little wound up from all that had happened, and she kept thinking about Lexa, and about the battle she had fought earlier that evening. Lexa would deal with it in her own way, Clarke knew, but she also knew that Lexa would let her help, would let her offer comfort and support, and it was so natural, so easy, how the boundaries between them had fallen.

When, exactly, had that happened?

When had it happened that she thought of herself as part of Lexa’s life, as one half of a pair she never thought would come to pass, that had been outside the realm of her imagination?

The cup was warm between her hands, and she raised it to her chin and rested it against her lips and liked thinking about how she had a place here in Polis, how Lexa had offered that to her and left it up to her to decide how she wanted to use it, if at all. Lexa never put expectations on her, never made demands, but somehow she had embedded herself thoroughly in Clarke’s heart, and planted parts of herself there, too.

Her fingers ached and she realized she was gripping the cup even harder, trying not to think too hard about Lexa fighting Nia and what could have happened, but she couldn’t stop the memories from filling her mind. She knew how tired Lexa was, knew that she had already fought several battles and Clarke suddenly truly understood, in the few minutes she spent riveted to the fight, the fatalism that undergirded much of Grounder culture. Every battle was a risk, and no matter how well-trained a warrior, circumstances could never be fully controlled.

And still, Lexa would have accepted her own death if it came at the hands of Nia, and she probably would have apologized to Clarke for not ridding the world of her as a threat. And she probably would have told her to stay strong and that she would be with her always, carried in her memories and in her heart.

Tears stung Clarke’s eyes and she swallowed a sob. Imagining Lexa—the strong, proud, beautiful Commander of the clans—dead beneath Nia’s sword was a thought too painful to bear and she wiped at her eyes, as if that would somehow erase the raw images of the fight she had witnessed, heart in her throat, unable to look away, unable to do anything but watch it unfold and hope that Lexa would prevail.

She went inside, seeking comfort from the candlelight and lingering warmth of more tea, though it was still hard to swallow around the lump in her throat. After she drank another cup she returned to the balcony, trying to calm down again. Lexa had survived and Nia was dead. The alternative had not come to pass, but she still trembled at the thought, and her ribs seemed to squeeze her lungs. She stared at the sky, an unending sea of black pricked by a million stars that blurred in her vision and she bit her lip again, waiting for the wave of emotion to pass.

“Clarke.”

Her chest immediately relaxed at Lexa’s voice and she turned.

I knocked,” Lexa said softly from the balcony doorway, hair loose, dressed in a simple shirt and pair of trousers. “Am I intruding?”

She half-laughed, half-sobbed, and closed the distance between them in two steps, and she didn’t know why she was crying again, and she didn’t fully understand the overwhelming mix of emotions, but it didn’t matter because Lexa’s arms were around her, and Clarke pulled her close and buried her face in her neck.

And it wasn’t anything she readily grasped, as tired as she was, but she needed Lexa, needed her more than she thought possible, and she let her know, in a hard, fierce kiss that threatened to steal the breath from both of them.

How was it possible to want someone so much, on so many levels, to be so close that you could share skin?

A frenzied clash of tongues, lips, and teeth, and so many parts of Clarke were already on fire…she had never kissed Lexa like this, never backed her against a wall—how had they gotten inside?—and gripped her like she was the last steady thing in her life.

Lexa’s fingers dug into Clarke’s hips underneath her shirt and she met every kiss, every motion, breathing hard in tangent with her, and then one of Lexa’s hands was in Clarke’s shorts and somehow, she picked her up with her other arm and suddenly Clarke was sitting on the table, panting, aching, and wet.

She shifted forward against Lexa’s fingers, and she almost sobbed with relief when Lexa met her thrust and slid easily inside and Clarke gasped, groaned, and let Lexa take her hard and fast, fingers curled just right within, pumping in a way she never had, feeding an all-consuming primal heat between them.

Lexa’s free hand steadied them both and her gaze bored into Clarke’s, and the expression in her eyes could easily have burst Clarke’s heart, as raw and vulnerable as she was right now because Lexa _knew_. She understood the hunger driving them both in this instance to seek life in the midst of fear and death, to find comfort in a storm of physical and emotional need. She _knew_ and she would make sure that Clarke was safe in this moment, in this space, to get what she needed.

Clarke let go of Lexa’s shoulders and cupped her face and stared into her eyes, crying as she crested, and she came in a maelstrom of emotions and sensations, every nerve burning and sparking like electrical wires, Lexa’s gaze sure and steady, filled with everything Clarke could ever have wanted. She sagged forward, feeling Lexa adjust her hand but she didn’t pull out and Clarke was glad because she still needed the connection with her and suddenly she was coming again, shuddering and jerking, Lexa’s free arm wrapped supportively around her. She held on to Clarke, her other hand gently coaxing another peak from her and Clarke cried out as she released a third time and she would have fallen backward onto the table if Lexa hadn’t steadied her.

Clarke clung to her, still crying and trembling, and she didn’t know how long it was before Lexa carefully pulled out and gathered her up for a proper embrace even though Clarke still sat on the table, but it had been a while because she was no longer overly sensitive. She wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist and held on to her, head on her shoulder, sore now in much more pleasant ways than earlier.

She pressed her lips to Lexa’s throat, exposed by the cut of the shirt she wore, its material worn and soft against Clarke’s cheek, and maybe a little damp with sweat. She traced the vertical scars on Lexa’s collarbone with her fingertip but stopped at the leather cord that hung around her neck.

Lexa kissed her forehead and moved back a little and Clarke pulled the cord out of her shirt and held the watch that dangled from it and she stared at it then looked up at her.

“Jax brought it. I didn’t let him keep it.”

Clarke clenched her teeth and she stared down at the watch, remembering that Lexa had done the same thing the last time she had it, when Zander carried it to Polis. And in spite of everything between them then, Lexa knew what the watch meant to her, and she had kept it safe. Just as she did this time. Lexa would always keep it safe. And she would always keep Clarke safe, too, as best she could. As long as her heart beat, as long as there was breath in her body.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, the watch warming in her palm. “I shouldn’t have gone to the gates.”

“You made what you thought was the best choice in the circumstances.” Lexa brushed Clarke’s hair out of her face.

“The best choice would have been to stay in the tower.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not. Sometimes we have to make decisions quickly, and we have to use what information we have.”

“It was stupid, thinking it was Sanders.” She clutched the watch tighter, her other hand on Lexa’s arm.

“Shh.” Lexa pressed her lips to her forehead again.

“I caused you so many problems.” Another round of tears burned her eyes. “And I almost lost you because of it—”

“Clarke.” Lexa pressed her fingertips to Clarke’s lips then removed the cord from around her neck while Clarke still held the watch. “We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

She pulled Lexa close again, head against her chest, listening to her heart beat and breathing her in, absorbing as much of her as she could. How to say what couldn’t be put into words? How to convey what couldn’t be described? She tried, with a long, slow kiss, a tender exploration and surrender that left her dizzy and breathing heavily, forehead pressed against Lexa’s, one hand cupping her cheek, gently wiping at the tear on Lexa’s cheek with her thumb.

The Commander of the Grounder clans had _never_ been heartless, and Clarke was learning that every day, learning more about each of the layers that made Lexa who she was, and every bit revealed made her want even more.

“I can’t lose you, Lexa,” Clarke said, and the admission was liberating, perhaps breathtaking in its simplicity.

Lexa kissed the tip of her nose. “And I can’t lose _you_.” She smiled, and it lit up her eyes. “So please don’t do that again.”

Clarke chuckled, relaxing into Lexa’s gentle teasing. “I’ll try. _Ba ai laik Wanheda otaim_.” 12

“True.” She slid her hands underneath Clarke’s thighs. “One of the many things about you that I enjoy.”

“You’re not even a little frustrated sometimes with me?”

“Sometimes. But you’re you.” She raised an eyebrow. “And that is the way of things.”

Clarke kissed her again, a pleasant buzzing in the pit of her stomach from the sparks that seemed to be a permanent part of her whenever Lexa was near.

“And now, _Wanheda_ , hold on to me,” Lexa said against her lips.

“ _Otaim_ , _Heda_.” 13

Lexa stared at her for a long moment, hope, wonder, and so many other things that didn’t need words in her eyes. Clarke put her arms around Lexa’s neck and tightened her grip around her waist with her thighs and Lexa easily lifted her off the table and carried her to the bed where she lowered her carefully to the furs then closed the balcony door.

Clarke hung the watch from the headboard, slid under the furs, and pulled Lexa against her, needing to feel her solidity and strength, needing the continued affirmation of her physical presence.

Lexa sighed with contentment and settled against her and Clarke realized that she needed the same kind of affirmation from her so she pulled her even closer, hand tangled in her hair as Lexa kissed her neck before completely relaxing against her.

She ran her fingers down Lexa’s arm and stopped at the bandage she felt beneath the fabric of her shirt.

“Balta has already inspected me,” Lexa said in an already sleepy voice as if reading her mind.

“But I haven’t.”

She laughed. “Later, when we are both rested, I will demand that you inspect me.”

“ _Heda_ makes demands of _Wanheda_?” Clarke’s fingers brushed the nape of her neck.

“Shall I _request_ instead?”

Clarke smiled. “No, actually. I like bossy _Heda_.”

“Mmm. And I rather like bossy _Wanheda_.”

“Maybe we can work something out.”

“Mmm,” Lexa said again, a soft, sleepy rumble more than anything else and Clarke melted as she listened to Lexa’s breathing deepen and it occurred to her that it was rare for Lexa to fall asleep first. She relished these moments when she did, when she demonstrated her trust and let Clarke watch over her, relaxed and open, her limbs heavy and warm wrapped around her.

Clarke kissed the top of her head. “ _Reshop_ , _niron_ ,”14 she said softly against her hair. And then she joined Lexa in sleep.

 

8 _Ste os bilaik yu don kom daun_ : It’s good that you have returned [took some liberties here; not sure of the exact construction of “it’s good” so I opted to use “to be” and “good” in an approximation]  
9 _Em laik Abi kom Skaikru_ , _heda kom Skaikru_ : She [this] is Abby of/from _Skaikru_ , leader of _Skaikru_.  
10 _Ai na chich yu op nodataim_ : I’ll speak with you another time [later]  
11 _Mochof gon ething_ : Thanks for everything [you’ve seen this one a few times]  
12 _Ba ai laik Wanheda otaim_ : But I’m always _Wanheda_ [you’ve seen this recently]  
13 _Otaim_ : always  
14 _Reshop, niron_ : Sleep, love/lover [the connotation of this term, “niron,” is intimate partner rather than just generic loved one].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this installment. I needed me some Clexa time and don't worry, there'll be more. This is an "aftermath" chapter, in which the enormity of what's happened hasn't quite sunk in and everybody is so damn tired but also so relieved. But there are still things that need to be done, and things that need to be talked about. And that's what's happening here.
> 
> We're coming pretty close to wrapping this up, friends. I expect 1-2 more installments should do it. Speaking of, I'm on the road again this coming week -- going to a conference and I have to do several panels and totally pimp the new publishing house and the new releases, so I'm not going to get much writing time at all. So I'm shooting for the weekend of July 14th for another installment. Hopefully. I'll let people know if that changes.
> 
> Speaking of, you can find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) and you can ask me anything on Tumblr.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kudos and comments. Love 'em! And I'm so glad you've joined me on this journey. Hope you stick with me to the end of this tale. Thank you.
> 
> Some songs that accompanied me in the writing of this chapter: Black Coast and REMMI, "Feel Something"; Wingtip and Delancey, "Walls"; GEMS, "Forgive Me" (omg this song during the Clexa-time in this chapter...feelz)


	68. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa get some rest. Among some other things. Lexa then has to do Heda things like talk with Balta and then Titus and then she has to meet with Roan. Oh, and there's a party in the works.

Early morning light was streaming across the bed through the balcony doors when Lexa opened her eyes. She was stiff and sore and the wound in her thigh hurt a little, but she found she didn’t care because Clarke’s left arm lay across her chest and her left thigh was across her legs. She was still asleep, and Lexa watched her, heart full of all the things between them that didn’t need to be voiced, that couldn’t be voiced because language was often inadequate and unable to express the full extent of the sentiment behind it.

She was careful not to move because she enjoyed these moments of quiet, when she could drink Clarke in, and study every line, every plane of her features. Many times Lexa had surreptitiously watched her before they went to the mountain the first time, because she couldn’t understand why this unknown person—this woman from a vastly different culture and background—would resonate so deeply with her, and could read her so well.

If she allowed herself the admission, it had shaken her. No one—not even Costia—had understood her the way Clarke did. With Costia, there was always the mantle of power Lexa wore between them, and though Costia had been a gifted warrior in her own right, she would never be a leader. It wasn’t something she had aspired to or wanted, and though she understood in some ways what Lexa faced and what was expected of her as _Heda_ , she would never have truly grasped all it encompassed, or the terrible choices Lexa often had to make.

Clarke, however, understood what Lexa had to do, what she had been called to do. And though Clarke may never have aspired to leadership either, she recognized it within herself and she accepted the responsibilities it entailed. And like Lexa, she knew the ways the past still clung to the present, and the wreckage some choices left behind.

And as Lexa studied Clarke, she realized that Costia may not have been able to weather the storms that a relationship with the Commander entailed. Certainly not the kind of relationship she wanted with Clarke, and that thought was just as revelatory as her realization about Costia.

What sort of relationship could it be, with Clarke? Could they join as others of the clans did? Or did _Skaikru_ have different understandings of relationships? Did they have ceremonies to mark them somehow? And, more importantly, what did Clarke want?

“You’re staring,” Clarke said, voice raspy with sleep.

Lexa smiled. “How do you know? Your eyes are closed.”

“I am _Wanheda_. I know many things,” she said with an answering smile.

Lexa laughed, her thoughts eased.

“I love when you do that.” She opened her eyes and Lexa fell into them again, as she often did.

“Stare?”

“Well, that, too. But no, in this case, when you laugh.” Clarke ran her fingers along Lexa’s jaw and the gesture, though tender, still sent spikes of arousal down her thighs.

She smiled again and Clarke traced her lips, which only made her arousal increase.

“And I love it when you smile.” Clarke leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I wasn’t sure you did either of those when I first met you.”

“Mmm. The circumstances weren’t the best, then.”

“ _En yu laik Heda otaim_.” 1 Clarke’s gaze locked with hers, and Lexa was reminded again of the sky and the shifting depths of warm seas. “I had never met anyone like you,” Clarke said. “And I don’t think I could even have imagined meeting someone like you.” She interlaced Lexa’s fingers with her own.

Lexa kept watching her eyes, and she waited.

“You were kind of scary,” Clarke said.

She smiled, amused at the assessment. “Only kind of?”

“Okay, you were really scary. But also really...you made an impact.”

“I have to.”

“I know. Impressions are part of politics, I’ve learned.”

“You learn quickly.” Lexa ran her thumb over the back of Clarke’s hand.

“I hope so. I screw up sometimes.”

“That, too, is how we learn.” She studied Clarke’s eyes. “And you are also scary.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “When did you think that?”

“When we first met.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Lexa raised their interlaced hands and kissed Clarke’s fingers. “I had never met anyone like _you_.” She remembered that first official meeting clearly. Had thought about it many times. “The spirit within you—it’s rare.”

“I will definitely say the same about you. But I find it hard to believe that I scared _Heda_ ,” she said with the teasing smirk that often presaged delightful and exciting interactions between them.

“There is no shame in fear,” she retorted, teasing back. “We all have it. It’s how we deal with it that matters.”

Clarke’s expression softened. “One of the scariest things for me about you was that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even with everything going on, with the potential for so much worse between our people, I couldn’t stop. I wanted to reach you, somehow.”

Lexa kissed her fingers again. “You did.” Clarke’s spirit had reached hers the first moment she walked into Lexa’s tent. “And that was scary, too.”

Clarke leaned in and kissed her, a delicate meeting of mouths. “I know,” she said. “You’re not as unreadable as you think.”

“Perhaps only certain people see that.”

“Or maybe you only let certain people see.” She kissed her again. “I’m glad I’m one of them.” She pulled her hand free and slid it underneath Lexa’s shirt and her palm warmed her back. “So glad,” she murmured as her lips grazed Lexa’s then her chin.

And then she sat up and took her shirt off in one smooth motion, pulling it over her head and tossing it onto the floor, and Lexa’s throat went dry at the sight, at the delicious curves of her breasts, at the expanse of skin—Clarke slid her shorts off and tossed those aside, as well and Lexa’s gaze traveled the length of Clarke’s body, down the lines of her thighs and back up to her breasts then her lips and suddenly she wasn’t thinking about how sore her muscles were or her various injuries.

She sat up, too, and started to take her shirt off, trying not to disturb the bandage wrapped around her left biceps. Clarke helped with that and she immediately checked the bandage.

“You bled through a little.” She raised her gaze to Lexa’s. “I’ll be careful,” she added softly and her eyes misted momentarily.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, and then she saw the bruising on Clarke’s ribs and frowned. “What caused this?”

“Ontari’s boot.”

Anger welled up within her.

“Hey,” Clarke said. “It’s done. It happened during the fight when Jasper and I got out of the tunnel. I didn’t know it was you below, but the battle had already started. I tried to warn whoever was still in the tunnel attacking Nia’s warriors that there were archers. Ontari didn’t appreciate that.”

“Did Nia hurt you, as well?”

“No. She was more obsessed with you and with making you watch me die, but she also seemed a little obsessed with me. She was mad that one of her warriors did this.” She touched her jaw. “She had a healer come and put salve on it. He ended up helping me, and tried to help us escape.”

“Erol?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“We found an _Azgeda_ in the tunnels who said he tried to help you and that he left the cell door open for you, but you chose a bomb instead.”

“That was him. Is he alive?”

“He was last night before I saw you on the floor where _Skaikru_ is housed.” She frowned again, thinking about Nia and Ontari, and about what Clarke might not be telling her.

“Lexa,” Clarke said and she looked at her. “I will gladly tell you everything that happened as many times as you want.” She cupped Lexa’s cheek. “Later.” She kissed her. “Because right now, I really need to feel you.”

The air seemed to spark, and the primal energy that had flowed between them the night before surged to life and Lexa leaned into Clarke’s touch, realizing that she needed this, too. She slid out of her trousers without dislodging the bandage on her thigh and Clarke pushed her back down and lowered herself against her and they both exhaled on one accord. Clarke didn’t move again and instead stared down into her eyes, as if searching.

“ _Chit yu gaf_?” 1 Lexa asked softly, and she brushed a strand of hair out of Clarke’s eyes.

“ _Yu laik otaim Heda_.” 2

She waited for her to continue.

“ _Ai gaf Lexa in seintaim_.” 3

“ _En yu gada ai in_.” 4 She caressed Clarke’s cheek. “I am always _Heda_ , yes. But I am always Lexa as well.”

Clarke leaned into her touch, then turned her head and pressed her lips against Lexa’s palm. “I want _all_ of you.”

“ _En yu gada ai in_ ,” she repeated, wanting her to really hear it. “ _Kos ai laik yun otaim_.” 5

Clarke stared at her, eyes wide, and Lexa took one of her hands and placed it against her chest, over her heart.

“This is yours, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears.

“Do you now understand how important you are to me?” She wiped gently at a tear that coursed down Clarke’s cheek, so glad she was here, so glad that Nia had not been successful.

“Yes,” she said, and she pressed Lexa’s fingertips to her lips. “ _Yu laik ething gon ai_.” 6

Nothing more needed to be said in this moment, and Lexa pulled her close and kissed her, and Clarke’s skin was warm against hers, warm beneath her palms and heating fast. She ached for Clarke’s hands, for her mouth, for everything she could offer and it should have scared her, this all-consuming desire and the way she allowed herself this vulnerability, but it only made her want more.

Clarke moved against her with an urgency that matched her own, and Clarke’s fingers tracked lines of fire across her breasts and down her stomach, and Clarke’s mouth was on her neck then her chest and breasts and sharp currents of arousal pulsed between her legs.

She was more than ready when Clarke’s hands moved down her thighs—careful of the bandage—and then up again and when she slid two fingers in Lexa barely stifled a groan and she met Clarke’s thrusts, gaze locked on hers, the connection between them naked in her expression. Lexa fought the sensations building within her because she wanted to hang on to this moment as long as she could, to the emotions in Clarke’s eyes and how she seemed to know exactly how to touch her.

And then, when Lexa was so close that all it would have taken was one more thrust, Clarke stopped moving her fingers and instead leaned in for a long, delicious kiss, and before Lexa could fully appreciate it, Clarke moved down her body and her mouth replaced her fingers and her tongue worked through her heat with a rhythm all its own and it wasn’t long before Lexa arched against her, fingers tangled in Clarke’s hair. A hot wave rippled through her blood and pounded through her bones and it washed over her and she wasn’t sure if that was her crying out as she collapsed against the bed, panting, and she didn’t care.

But Clarke wasn’t finished and all Lexa could do was ride each successive wave that she sent rolling through her. Twice more Clarke left her gasping, sweating, and tangled in the furs. After the third time, when Clarke fell against her, Lexa gathered her close and kissed her, the taste of them both mingling in her mouth, further affirmation that they were both here, that they had both survived. She hadn’t realized how badly she, too, had needed this physical expression of their connection in the wake of what had happened.

“Pretty sure the guards heard all that,” Clarke murmured after a while and Lexa heard the grin in her voice.

“They hear what I tell them to hear,” she said with an answering smile.

She chuckled against her throat. “So what did they hear?”

“Not what you think.”

Clarke laughed and kissed her again, and Lexa affirmed that from this moment on, kissing Clarke was going to be a necessary part of each day.

“There are going to be more questions, _Heda_ ,” she said against her lips.

“There always are.” She stroked Clarke’s hair, thinking that _Skaikru_ no doubt had started asking, especially after her battle with Nia.

“So what should I say?”

“Whatever you think is best.”

“That’s not helping,” Clarke said, but she nuzzled Lexa’s throat and delightful little chills raced down her back.

“There are many things we have to think about,” Lexa responded. “None of which we can do anything about right now. Does _Wanheda_ forget that she and _Heda_ need rest?”

“We weren’t exactly resting just then.” Clarke kissed her neck and Lexa closed her eyes, reveling in how it felt to be with her like this.

“Perhaps not, but we were lying down.”

She chuckled. “Balta will not be pleased that I’m not letting you get any rest,” she said, but Lexa heard the rumbles of impending sleep in her voice.

“Shh.” She continued to stroke Clarke’s hair and within minutes, Clarke was asleep again, wrapped around her with her head on Lexa’s shoulder and Lexa, in a rare concession, smiled and joined her.

 

1 _Chit yu gaf_? What is it?  
2 _Yu laik otaim Heda_ : you are always _Heda_ [you’ve seen it!]  
3 _Ai gaf Lexa in seintaim_ : I want Lexa, too  
4 _En yu gada ai in_ : And you have me  
5 _Kos ai laik yun otaim_ : Because I am always yours  
6 _Yu laik ething gon ai_ : You’re everything to me

###

When Lexa woke up again, the location of the sunlight on the floor indicated it was early afternoon. Clarke’s naked back was pressed against her chest, and Lexa remembered the first time they had been together in this way, how they woke up positioned nearly identically the next morning in Lexa’s tent, and how she couldn’t believe what had happened. She kissed Clarke’s shoulder and Clarke stirred.

“I love waking up with you,” she said, voice husky with sleep, and her hold on Lexa’s hand where it rested against her stomach tightened. She pressed herself harder against her, as if she could get any closer, and Lexa kissed her neck, delighting in the taste and smell of her skin.

“And if you keep doing that, we are not getting out of this bed at all today,” Clarke added.

“There are worse things.” Lexa smiled and lightly nipped her earlobe.

Clarke made a low noise in the back of her throat. “This _Heda_ teases me.”

“Good thing she’s yours, too.” She brushed another kiss across her shoulder.

“Lucky me.” Clarke moved Lexa’s hand lower, down to the apex of her thighs, and Lexa bit her lip as she felt how wet Clarke already was. “That’s your fault,” Clarke said, an edge to her voice that made Lexa’s heart speed up.

“I will take full responsibility for it.” She moved her fingers slowly, gently exploring, and was rewarded by the sharp intake of Clarke’s breath as she delved a little deeper into her heat. Clarke rested her hand lightly on the back of Lexa’s as she continued gently rubbing, touching, and gliding past her entrance with teasing strokes to the accompaniment of Clarke’s soft moans and rapid breathing.

Clarke spread her legs a little wider, and it was an easy matter then for Lexa to slip in, Clarke’s hand still on hers, though she gave her room to work. Her own arousal soared as Clarke moved against her fingers, buried to the knuckles, and Lexa was sure there was nothing as beautiful as Clarke opening to her, nothing as beautiful as the intimacy of her trust.

“Lexa,” Clarke said between shaky breaths. “I—please—”

“I’m here,” she said softly. “ _Otaim_.”

And Clarke tensed for a few brief moments before she let go, her hand gripping Lexa’s like a vise, holding her in place as she shuddered and jerked and finally relaxed, her back still pressed against Lexa’s front, slick with sweat.

Lexa continued to kiss her shoulder and neck, gentle, keeping her hand in place beneath Clarke’s.

“Keep doing that and we’ll be right back where we started,” Clarke said with a breathy sigh.

“Does _Wanheda_ complain?” Lexa said against her skin.

“No. She observes. Although in this case, she’s making an accurate prediction.”

“Oh?” Lexa shifted her position slightly so she could move Clarke’s hair away from the back of her neck with her free hand and kiss her there, too.

Clarke sighed again. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I can’t resist you.”

Lexa smiled between kisses. “Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Both.” She made a contented noise and released Lexa’s hand and Lexa carefully pulled out. “I don’t want to, either,” Clarke continued. “Though I tried, at first.” She moved and rolled over so they faced each other.

Lexa watched her. Doing so had become a favorite pastime.

“You pissed me off so many times—”

She raised an eyebrow and Clarke smiled.

“But I realized something.” She brushed Lexa’s hair away from her face, her touch tender. “You treated me as an equal. And you were patient when you had to be, and harsh when the situation called for it. Or maybe just brutally honest.” She stared at her, expression thoughtful. “You never patronized me, or condescended, even when you were being totally inflexible.”

Lexa raised both eyebrows and Clarke smiled.

“Don’t even pretend you aren’t.” She leaned in and kissed her. “It’s part of you, and part of what you have to do,” she said against her mouth. “And even when you pissed me off before we went to the mountain the first time—” She cupped Lexa’s cheek, perhaps seeing in her eyes the pain that memory still brought, “you were always honest with me. You’ve _always_ been honest with me.” She paused. “And yes, it hurt. The first time at the mountain hurt. A lot. More than I thought possible, given that I hadn’t known you long.”

Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. The mountain still cast a shadow, even after all that had transpired between them.

“But you were honest with me then, too. And after. I was oh, so angry with you and maybe hated you a little, but you told me the truth.” She stroked Lexa’s cheek, and it soothed her, calmed the uncomfortable memories her words triggered. “So I kept trusting you. I didn’t know why at first. I just did. Even when I was incapable of leading much of anything after the first time at the mountain, I thought about you, and I remembered how it had been, those first days after I met you.” Her eyes clouded momentarily and Lexa remembered only too well the stab of pain that came with these memories.

“I mean, shit,” Clarke continued, “you tried to kill us before I even knew who you were. But you still let me walk into your tent, after what happened at the dropship with all your warriors. And you let me leave after that and you still worked with me, even after what Finn had done.” Clarke kissed her again, and it calmed Lexa’s roiling thoughts. “And yes,” she said, “I did think your ways were harsh. I didn’t understand, at first. But I thought about it, and we weren’t the most hospitable newcomers. We were terrible in some ways and I probably would have made the same decisions you did if I was in your situation.”

Lexa intertwined her fingers with Clarke’s.

“You and your people made me see my people in a new light. Our ways are just as harsh. Maybe more.” She frowned, but it passed almost immediately. “But you still worked with me. In spite of all that, you were still willing to work with me.”

“You have a rare spirit,” Lexa said, as if it was obvious, why she had taken the chances she had with her.

“So do you.” Clarke held her gaze. “And I am so grateful you’re sharing it with me.” She pulled her into another kiss, this one long and slow and both tentative and reassuring, as if Clarke wasn’t sure how Lexa would take what she had said but she wanted to let her know the past was not weighing on her. Lexa deepened the kiss, which seemed to erase Clarke’s initial caution as she responded, and the air between them heated again. Lexa rolled onto her back, taking Clarke with her, so that once again they were melded together, their bodies fitting like two halves of a broken blade, made stronger as a unified whole.

And then somehow Lexa ended up on top, staring down into Clarke’s eyes, seeing in their depths all that she, too, felt. She leaned in to kiss her again when a knock sounded at the door.

They both stopped, still staring at each other.

“ _Heda_ ,” came Balta’s voice.

Clarke grinned and kissed her. “Duty calls,” she murmured against her lips.

“Worse. Wound inspection.”

She laughed. “Are we ready to join the world again?”

Lexa smiled. “It’s not a choice I think we will be given.”

Clarke sighed. “We will continue this later.”

“ _Sha_. Many times.”

She cupped Lexa’s cheek, her thumb lightly brushing her lips and it was all Lexa could do not to tell Balta to come back another time.

“ _Odop_ ,”7 Clarke called and Lexa kissed her again before she climbed out of bed, her muscles complaining and the wound in her thigh protesting. She gathered up her shirt and trousers and went to the bathroom. Behind her, she heard Clarke getting out of bed, too, and she heard the door open and Balta’s voice.

After she took care of her morning ministrations and quickly dressed, she returned to the main room. Clarke had put on her shirt and shorts, and she shot Lexa a sultry look as she passed her on her way to the bathroom.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said, amusement in her eyes.

“ _Sha_. What news?” she opted for a more formal demeanor, but she knew Balta was fully aware of the situation and following her lead on whether she felt like bantering about it.

Balta motioned at the table, where a plate of meat, vegetables, and bread waited. Lexa sat and Balta poured her a cup of tea from the fresh pitcher she had brought. “Roan has requested to speak with you.”

Not surprising. Lexa took a bite of bread.

“He wishes to return to _Azgeda_ with Nia’s body.”

She had expected that, too.

“And once he has completed the death rituals, he wishes to return to Polis and petition for entrance into the _kongeda_.”

Lexa swallowed. “What does the council feel?”

“From what I can tell, they are amenable, especially with Nia no longer a concern. Atlan thinks it will not be an issue, and that a ceremony should be planned. Ferris would like Clarke to also participate in it, though the council does not expect her to provide blood, since she and Kane already have.”

“A good idea.” Lexa took another bite. Such a ceremony would not only cement _Azgeda_ to the _kongeda_ , but it would also provide greater assurance that _Skaikru_ was under Lexa’s purview and was willing to work with her.

“I agree,” Clarke said as she joined Lexa at the table. She gestured for Balta to sit, as well, and Balta did, much to Lexa’s amusement, because anyone else would not presume to allow someone to join the Commander at her table without her permission. But Clarke was Clarke, and Lexa knew she wouldn’t have done it outside her private quarters, which made her all the more aware of the very different world they had constructed away from prying eyes and hostile questions.

“So _Wanheda_ approves of participation in such a ceremony?” Lexa flashed a smile over the rim of her cup.

“It’s part of what we agreed,” Clarke said with a shrug. “I’ll finish the ceremony in accordance with what the council thinks is necessary.” She looked over at Balta. “Have you eaten?”

“ _Sha_. It is past morning, after all.”

Clarke frowned, then glanced at the sunlight on the floor. A blush crept up her neck. “I didn’t realize—”

Balta chuckled. “You clearly needed to rest,” she said, with extra innocence in her tone.

“What’s happening with the wounded?” Lexa asked, stepping in to save Clarke from her own embarrassment, though she fought a smile.

“The Chancellor has started treating the worst off. I worked with her this morning. It was most revealing.”

Clarke looked at her. “In good ways or bad?”

Balta’s lips twitched in a suppressed smile. “Good,” she said, sounding diplomatic. “She is very interested in the medicines we use and showed me a few things about some of the tech she brought. I think it would be extremely useful for healers to spend some time with her. She would like to learn how to create the salves we use, and she is glad to train us in some of the ways of _Skaikru_ medicine.”

“Mmm,” Lexa said. “And Titus?” He was always suspicious of tech.

“He accompanied us for some of the morning. He’ll eventually support the idea.”

“It doesn’t matter if he does or not.” Lexa poured more tea into Clarke’s cup then her own. “Because it is what I wish, based on your recommendation. And Clarke’s.”

“What happened with Rex and Ayda?” Clarke asked suddenly.

Balta looked at Lexa, who nodded.

“Ayda will recover well. Rex is another matter,” Balta said.

Clarke set her cup down. “I want to see them.”

Balta nodded. “The Chancellor has already checked Ayda. She is concerned about Rex, however, whose injuries are severe.”

Clarke’s jaw tensed.

“It is not your fault,” Lexa said, stepping in again, this time to alleviate the guilt she knew Clarke was taking on.

“It is. Had I not gone to the gates—”

“We make choices based on the information we have at the time. Rex is a warrior. He understands what that entails.”

“Can I see him?”

Lexa glanced at Balta.

“I suspect that is a question for the Chancellor,” Balta said. “She wanted him further isolated, to protect from sickness while he heals.”

From the set of Clarke’s jaw, Lexa knew she would find a way to visit him as long as she was sure doing so would not endanger him. She took a drink, thinking about how she had come to know so many of Clarke’s mannerisms. “I will be speaking later with the Chancellor and Clarke,” Lexa said. “Perhaps Clarke can address this matter with her then.” She set her cup down, looked at Clarke, then pushed back from the table. “I will speak with Roan first, however.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Balta stood, as well. “The Chancellor would like to see you as soon as you are able,” she said to Clarke.

“Probably for wound inspection,” she responded, tone dry, as she shot a look at Lexa then shifted her gaze back to Balta. “Where will I find her?”

“On the floor with the wounded. I will let her know that you will be down shortly.”

“ _Mochof_.” She stood.

“ _Heda_ , I will meet you in your quarters,” Balta said, expression unreadable.

Lexa nodded and Balta left. “It is not your fault,” she said to Clarke again. “Rex is a warrior and he will not blame you.”

Clarke didn’t say anything. Instead, she slipped her arms around Lexa’s waist and rested her head on her shoulder. Lexa pulled her even closer and kissed the top of her head.

“I know this is selfish, but I really want to take up all of your time,” Clarke said softly.

“I feel the same about you.”

“I know. _Ba yu laik Heda otaim_.”

“Mmm. _En yu laik Wanheda otaim_. _Ba ai gaf yu in otaim_.” 8

Clarke smiled and kissed her. “ _Fanasheda_.” 9

She laughed.

“Go,” Clarke said as she stepped out of her embrace. “Get inspected. I’ll see you when you’re ready to speak with me and the Chancellor.”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_ ,” she said, and this time Clarke laughed.

Lexa stopped at the door and looked back at her, wanting to make sure that she had an image of this Clarke with her the rest of the day, with her sleepy eyes and hair piled loosely on top of her head. As she watched, the slow, lazy smile that always made her heart pound graced Clarke’s lips.

“ _Gyon au_ , _Heda_ ,” she repeated softly. “ _Kos ai nou rak ai op raun yu_.” 10

She smiled back and opened the door, Clarke’s mutter of “ _Fanasheda_ ” following her into the corridor.

 

  
7 _Odop_ : Wait; hold up [less formal; it’s normally “hod op”]  
8 _En yu laik Wanheda otaim_. _Ba ai gaf yu in otaim_ : And you’re always _Wanheda_. But I always want/need you. [you’ve seen this construction; _yu laik Heda otaim_ = you’re always _Heda_ ]  
9 _Fanasheda_ : “Commander Sexy” [you’ve seen this one; “fanas” means “sexy”]  
10 _Gyon au_ , _Heda_ … _Kos ai nou rak ai op raun yu_ : Go, _Heda_ …Because I can’t control myself around you

 

 

###

“What is the mood?” Lexa asked, standing still and watching as Balta carefully packed the wound on her thigh with an herb mixture. She had bathed again, but Balta had cleaned this wound with a solution she had made.

“From what I just saw, excellent.” She shot her a look from her position seated in front of her in one of the chairs at Lexa’s table.

Lexa frowned, then realized she was teasing and she chuckled.

“She is very, very good for you, _Heda_.” Balta finished with the herbs and picked up a jar of salve. “And you are very, very good for her.” She slathered the salve over the wound, and it was cool on Lexa’s skin. Balta was silent for a few moments before she spoke again and when she did, her tone was thoughtful. “The Chancellor is a formidable woman.”

“So is Clarke.”

Balta smiled. “Indeed. But it is never easy, being the daughter of a formidable woman.” She finished with the salve and picked up a piece of clean cloth from the pile on the table. “The Chancellor is insecure in her strengths, though she is unwavering in her support for Clarke. The insecurity thus causes tension with Clarke, who is much more comfortable with her strengths and also with her weaknesses.” She placed the bandage over the wound and Lexa realized that now she, too, would have a scar on her right thigh like Clarke’s.

“That is one of the many reasons that you are good for Clarke. You appreciate strength in others, and you appreciate those who understand its limitations. It is not something you fear. Rather, it is something you respect. You thus elevate Clarke.”

“She elevates herself.”

Balta looked up at her. “But you give her the room to do so. _Skaikru_ is impatient and uncertain, though there are those among them who truly are well-meaning and wish to learn.” She wrapped strips of cloth around Lexa’s thigh to hold the bandage in place. “Clarke is different. She understands that relationships are not forced, and that different kinds take different approaches.”

Lexa waited for Balta to continue.

“The Chancellor does not understand this.”

“You’re saying she’s difficult,” she said with a smile as Balta stood. “I am well aware of that.”

“She also no doubt suspects that there is a stronger relationship between you and Clarke than simply as allies.” Balta started cleaning the wound on Lexa’s left biceps with a cloth that she dipped into the bowl of herbed water near her salves.

Lexa remembered Abby’s words to her in the tunnels before she went in search of Clarke. “I know.”

“She may ask you rather than Clarke.”

“Yes.” The water from Balta’s cloth tickled as it ran down her arm.

“But her interest will be as a parent first.” Balta finished cleaning the wound and she was silent for a few moments. Lexa glanced at her as she gently checked the edges of the cut. “Nia’s blades were sharp and clean,” she said after a while. “Both this and the other will heal well.”

“Mmm.” She’d been lucky, that Nia hadn’t used poison.

“As a Chancellor, Abby will have some concern about your relationship with Clarke. As a parent, she will have much more.”

“I am also well aware of that.”

“It is important, thus, to enlist the aid of Kane.”

Lexa stared at her, surprised at Balta’s manueverings with regard to creating a support network for her and Clarke.

“Abby listens to him and he respects Clarke. And he may become the next Chancellor, which then will shift how Abby deals with you and with Clarke.”

“There are other _Skaikru_ to deal with, as well.”

“Bellamy may have the most difficulty. Jasper as well.”

“Oh?” She had the same thoughts, but she wanted to hear Balta’s.

“Bellamy is protective.” She started to pack the cut on Lexa’s arm as she had the one on her leg. “And in some ways he may view Clarke like he views Octavia, as a younger sister he is charged wth protecting.”

She had seen that dynamic with Bellamy and she knew it wore on Octavia. Clarke tended to deal with it better, but that was probably because she wasn’t related to him.

“The two of them have been through much together. They are like warriors in that regard, and they share a warrior’s bond.” She finished with the herbs and started with the salve. “Jasper’s reactions may be irrelevant to Clarke, since he is not in a position of leadership among _Skaikru_ as Bellamy is. But he lost someone he cared about at _Maun-de_ and he blames Clarke for that.” She put the salve down. “And you.” She picked up another piece of clean cloth and started bandaging Lexa’s arm.

“Jasper is unpredictable, because he is grieving, and grief does strange things to people,” Balta said as she worked.

Lexa watched as she positioned the bandage over her wound.

“But seeing him this morning, there may be little cause for concern.”

“Why?”

“He appears to have found common ground with the _natrona_ Lora.”

Interesting. Lexa moved her arm so Balta could wind strips of cloth around it.

“Has Clarke made a decision about them?”

“She hasn’t mentioned it yet.” But then, they had both had other things on their minds since the night before. Heat raced up her spine.

Balta smirked as she tied the strips. “It’s possible she was distracted.”

Lexa flexed her arm. “Entirely possible,” she said, sheepish.

“Indeed.” She laughed and while she cleaned up her medical supplies, Lexa went to her shelves and selected a pair of black trousers and a loose black shirt. After she put them on, she slipped into a black leather vest that she buckled closed. This one she hadn’t worn in a while, but it was soft and supple from use, and she liked the way the metal buckles were the same gold color as the decoration on her forehead.

Balta had taken her coat, shirt, and trousers from the battles for cleaning and repair, since Nia’s blades had sliced through the cloth of all, leaving holes and Lexa’s blood on the fabric. Lexa had wiped all her blades clean the night before, and honed her knives, but her swords she still needed to work on, so she left them on their pegs and buckled on her belt.

“As to your earlier question, _Heda_ ,” Balta said from the table, “the mood in the city is festive. The tower as well.”

Lexa pulled her boots on and buckled her thigh protectors into place, mostly for appearance today, but also to provide a little extra coverage for her injury. “And the council?”

“Relieved. Your defeat of Nia has strengthened your reputation even among those who are skeptical of your leadership. Especially since the warriors who saw you battle Nia are telling the story to their fellows.”

“And no doubt the embellishments grow with each telling, as well,” Lexa said, tone dry as she slid her knives into their sheaths. She would have to acquire new knives for Clarke, since she hadn’t had them with her at the battle. Nia had probably confiscated them. Perhaps selecting new knives was something they could do in the next few days. She liked that thought.

“That is the nature of stories.” Balta left her bag on the table and helped Lexa add braids to her hair. Not as many as she used in battle, but enough to signal her readiness for it.

“I would speak with Atlan and Ferris, as well.” They would also be monitoring sentiment in the wake of Nia’s death.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Balta finished with her hair and retrieved her bag. “I also think perhaps a celebration is in order.”

“I agree. Perhaps a festival in conjunction with a _kongeda_ ceremony.”

“These are my thoughts, as well.”

“And Titus?” She knew Balta would understand the many meanings that question held.

“You are _Heda_. You have his loyalty. Though in matters of the heart, you may not have his approval.”

“He didn’t approve of Costia, either.”

“He believes a Commander should be above such things.”

She made a slight adjustment to the thigh guard on her injured leg. “He may be right in some ways.”

“No, _Heda_.” Balta’s tone was firm. “A Commander is a leader, yes, but she is also a warrior and a true warrior understands the gifts that come with love. The warrior who loves is the warrior who chooses her battles wisely.” She closed the balcony doors then turned back to her. “Love makes strength grow, _Heda_. I do not trust those who do not or cannot love. And even if you did not have Clarke in your life, you would still love. I see it when you go into the city and speak with people. I see it when you are with your warriors and the Novitiates.” She regarded her. “I know when Costia died that you thought you could no longer love someone as you loved her.” She smiled. “These past weeks have shown me that this is not true. You are capable of it.”

“It is not something I expected.” Rather, it was so far beyond her imaginings that the visceral reaction she had to Clarke when she walked into her tent for the first time had interrupted her sleep several times that night.

“It never is.”

She moved to the door, Balta just behind her. “Perhaps you might spread your wisdom among council members,” Lexa said with a smile.

“ _Nou get yu daun_ , _Heda_.” 11

Lexa shot her a look. Balta was as good if not better than Titus in maneuvering intrigue and ensuring information flow in ways that benefited Lexa and her strategies, and from her tone—as innocuous as it was—she had no doubt that Balta was already engaged in strategies of her own in that regard. “ _Mochof_. I am indeed fortunate that you chose to stay when I Ascended.”

Balta smiled. “It is my honor. And _Heda,_ ” she added, “she feels the same for you.” She moved in front of her and opened the door before Lexa could respond to that comment and instead, Balta said, “The council chambers and meeting rooms are clear, _Heda_. Are these acceptable for your meetings today?”

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Os_. I have ensured that the smaller chamber is prepared for your meeting with Roan.”

Lexa nodded her approval. “Send for Indra, Atlan, Ferris, and Titus. And Jos.” She threw a glance at Clarke’s door. Only two guards, which meant she was already gone with the two others.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” Balta nodded and took the stairs while Lexa walked onto the lift, three guards with her. They descended quickly and when Lexa stepped off the lift into the corridor that led to the council meeting rooms, several guards grinned when they saw her.

“ _Heda_ ,” they all said as she passed, the word imbued with the usual respect but also underlying excitement and…pride? She nodded at warriors as she passed them, and seeing their expressions, she knew a city-wide festival was a very good idea.

She strode into the room that had been designated for her meeting with Roan. Titus was already present, and he turned from the open balcony doors and regarded her, expression mild.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said with a dip of his head as she approached. “I am very pleased to see you.” He might almost have smiled.

That was the closest he would come to offering real affection. She nodded back at him, noting dark circles under his eyes. “And I you, _Fleimkepa_. Tell me of the water supply.”

“The idea to use children to search the city was wise. We discovered three separate places that children knew where Nia loyalists had gathered with poison.”

Lexa frowned. “What kind?”

“Not _Azgeda_. Or anything that the clans use. It was from _Maun-de_.”

Anger coiled in her gut. “You’re certain?”

“ _Sha_. It was in bottles, which in turn were in metal boxes marked with the symbol of _Maun-de_.”

“I will have the _Skaikru_ Chancellor and Clarke evaluate this poison. Did anyone open any of the bottles?”

“No, _Heda_. And none seemed to be broken.”

“How many boxes?”

“Three. One with each group of loyalists. They are not large.” He held his hands out to signify that the boxes would probably fit in two cupped hands.

“How did they acquire these boxes?”

He clasped his hands behind his back. “The loyalists told us that Nia had the boxes, but they all guessed that she had somehow gotten them from Emerson.”

She stared past the balcony to the forests beyond, thinking. “Do they know when she might have gotten them?”

“No.”

So it could have been before Nia went to the mountain, though Lexa suspected it was after, since Emerson would not have had much with him when he escaped after Clarke ended his people. He would not have had access to the supplies until he went back.

“And you’re certain there are no other threats to the water supply?”

“ _Sha_. We were thorough. The children helped. And the loyalists were glad to tell us everything we wished to hear. They are not the loyalists we presumed them to be.”

“Because Nia threatened their families.”

“ _Sha_.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “Where are they now?”

“In cells below.”

“How many?”

“Six, who were going to poison the water. We still have perhaps four times that from the battles near the marketplace.”

She crossed her arms. “Are they aware that Nia is dead?”

“The guards may have told them, or the prisoners may have overhead something.”

“We will leave the formal announcement to Roan or Jos, provided Roan wishes Jos to continue in her role here.” She hoped he did. Jos had become a known quantity in some ways and the idea of a different _Azgeda_ ambassador learning the ways of the tower would be tedious at best and possibly dangerous at most, given that Roan hadn’t been able to fully assess loyalist networks.

“Roan may also wish to give them the opportunity to return with him to _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said. “They probably all have families and Nia used those to force their service. They may prefer Roan’s rule.”

He made a noncommittal noise that was almost a soft grunt and another silence fell between them.

“ _Mochof_ , Titus,” Lexa said after a while.

He looked at her, surprise in his eyes. “ _Heda_?” He sounded puzzled.

“For ensuring that Nia did not succeed in poisoning the water supply. And I know, too, that you ensured the Novitiates were protected and that you helped create the illusion that makes people see me when it is actually Val among them.”

He continued to stare at her, still puzzled. “I am _Fleimkepa_. It is my duty to serve you.”

She chuckled and he raised his eyebrows.

“ _Heda_?” His expression suggested that he might be worried about her sanity.

“I know it is your duty. But I think perhaps I haven’t told you that I appreciate how well you serve. I know I am not the _Heda_ you thought you would get, and I am not like others you have served. I also know that I have tried your patience.” She smiled. “I will no doubt do so again.”

He relaxed and cleared his throat.

“Speak freely.”

“It is true that you are not like the others I have served. And it is true that I have not agreed with some of your decisions. But I have come to learn that the decisions you make come with much thought behind them, and that you are willing to consider the voices of others.” He stared out at the forests, too. “I have come to see that there may be strength in this approach, where other leaders sought only to rule by the sword, instilling fear but not loyalty.”

“There are circumstances for the sword.”

He looked at her. “And I am seeing that you are a leader who understands which call for the sword and which are better addressed through other means. You may not be what I am used to in a leader, _Heda_ , but you are proving one of the wisest.” He looked out over the forests again. “And strongest.”

“Tell me of reaction to Nia’s death,” she said, allowing him to retreat to territory he was better prepared to navigate.

“I can honestly say, _Heda_ , that I have yet to hear a negative remark.”

“And the other clans?”

“Members of the clan council were very pleased and relieved when we received the news. And the story of her defeat—” he looked at her and actually smiled. “It serves you well.”

She sighed. “I’m sure it has gone through several modifications.”

He shrugged. “Let it. The clan councils have sent scouts to their home villages with the news, but around Polis, the story has made you a hero.”

“What of a celebration? A festival?”

“I was thinking of such.”

“It can coincide with Roan joining the _kongeda_ , but I do not want it in honor of me. Let it mark the defeat of the mountain and the advent of a new era.”

He cocked his head. “There will be many who will honor you regardless.”

“Probably. But not because I ordered it.”

“ _Heda_ ,” came Indra’s voice from the door.

“Start preparations,” Lexa said to Titus before she turned and joined Indra near the table. “You are well?” she asked.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She grinned. “and you?”

“Balta has allowed me to be here, so…”

Indra actually laughed.

“What news?”

“You. You are all that people are talking about.”

She rolled her eyes. “Surely they are discussing Roan’s ascent to the throne.”

“They are. But always after they share the story of your defeat of Nia. There are many in Polis who are relieved that Nia is gone, and many more who are proud that _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ is the one who ensured this.”

“Death is not something to celebrate.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Indra said, “You cannot control how others feel about what happened. Nor can you control what stories are told. Right now, the stories are all good.”

And no doubt Titus was already using them to her advantage. She watched as he glided toward them, his robe hiding his feet. He was a master of deploying information in specific ways.

“I have asked Titus and Balta to begin preparations for a festival.”

Indra nodded. “A good idea.”

“It will be in honor of the defeat of the mountain and the start of a new era. It will coincide with Roan’s entrance into the _kongeda_.”

“And the harvests have begun.” Indra nodded again. “A very good idea.”

Atlan and Ferris entered the room. “ _Heda_ ,” they both said, smiling. Ferris was almost jovial and Atlan was practically beaming.

Before Lexa could speak with them further, Jos came in and from her expression, she looked like she wanted to hug Lexa. Fortunately, she didn’t, and instead bowed her head. “ _Heda_.”

“ _Jos_. You are well?”

“ _Sha_.” She started to say something else when a warrior leaned in.

“ _Heda_ , _haihefa Roan_ _komba raun_.” 12

She dismissed him with a nod and stood waiting, Atlan, Ferris and Indra close by while Titus stood slightly behind her.

Roan appeared in the doorway, an _Azgeda_ warrior on either side of him.

“ _Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_. _Min yu op_ ,”13 Lexa said, and he nodded and came in without his guards.

Lexa appreciated the display of trust he offered. She noted that he wore two knives, but she extended the courtesy of allowing him to wear them in her presence.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said with a nod and a glance at Jos.

She nodded back. “I understand you wish to return to _Azgeda_.”

“ _Sha_. I hope to do so as soon as business is concluded here.”

“Very well. Do you require assistance?”

“I think perhaps it would serve both of us should any _Azgeda_ you currently have in custody be given the opportunity to return with me. I will determine what punishment may be appropriate, if any is warranted.”

Indra looked at him then back at her, a flash of consternation in her eyes.

“And if they do not wish to return with you?” Lexa asked.

“Then they remain here and face judgment from the council.”

Indra relaxed.

“Done. I will see to it that my warriors accompany you to the city gates with those who choose to leave. Would you like them to continue to _Azgeda_ with you?”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.”

She inclined her head in acknowledgement. “I will of course send at least one representative from the council with you.” Her meaning was clear. Whoever it was would be going to serve as witness to Nia’s death ceremony and as recognition of Roan’s place as the leader of _Azgeda_. It would lend validity to that, and to the _kongeda_.

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_. I request also that my ambassador, _Jos kom Azgeda_ , return with me. And I hope to ensure that she may continue in her position in Polis as my ambassador.”

Jos’s eyes widened in both surprise and hope.

“Done,” Lexa said again and she heard a sharp intake of breath from Jos, and then a sigh that might have been relief.

“And with regard to the matter of Ontari, I think all of us are best served if I bring her to _Azgeda_ as well.”

Indra tensed again.

“She is _Azgeda_ ,” Lexa said, tone mild though she would gladly have faced Ontari with her bare hands and made her pay for the injuries she had inflicted on Clarke. “My fight was never with her and it is perhaps best that she receive punishment from _Azgeda_ , since it is her people she has wronged. If all gathered here agree.” She looked at the others. “Speak now if you do not or if perhaps you think this is a matter better discussed before the full council.”

“She is _Natblida_ ,” Indra said.

“Continue, _Indra kom Trikru_.”

“Is it wise to allow a _Natblida_ to leave the supervision of the _Fleimkepa_?”

“I can assure you, _Heda_ , that I am well aware of what _plana_ Nia wished to do with Ontari,” Roan said. “But she serves no purpose here, beyond causing you to feed and house her in a cell.”

“Or end her fight,” Indra retorted and Lexa shot her a look before she addressed Roan again.

“There is no place for Ontari here, either in a cell or the Conclave.”

“She is _natrona_ ,” Indra pushed.

“To _Azgeda_. Ontari was under Nia’s sway, and Nia was never part of the _kongeda_.” And it was in Roan’s interests to visibly punish Ontari by his own hand, which would demonstrate his willingness to deal with Nia loyalists. Should Lexa allow him to take Ontari back to _Azgeda_ , he would owe her that, too.

“Ontari has forfeited any right to a Conclave,” Roan said. “The council needn’t worry that she will gain access to such.”

“She is _Natblida_ ,” Indra repeated.

Roan nodded. “I am aware of what that may mean, and it is unusual that an adult _Natblida_ walks among us without a Conclave background.”

Indra crossed her arms and stared hard at Roan. “She is dangerous to _Heda_.”

“She is dangerous if _haihefa_ Roan allows her to be dangerous,” Lexa corrected. Her statement was also a warning to Roan that she would be watching what he did with regard to Ontari.

“ _Heda_ , if I may.” Titus stepped forward.

“Speak, _Fleimkepa_.”

“We don’t find all _Natblidas_ for the Conclave,” he said. “So there are probably other adult _Natblidas_ among the clans. All of them are a possible danger to _Heda_ , but most—if not all—are not trained as warriors, since they must stay hidden. This greatly decreases the danger they pose. Ontari is different because she _is_ trained as a warrior and I concur with Indra’s concerns, but I also agree with _Heda_ that Ontari is a danger only if _haihefa_ Roan allows her to be one.”

Atlan and Ferris murmured agreement, as well.

“But it is true that Ontari did not betray _Heda_ since she was never a supporter, and Nia had not declared her support for _Heda_ , either,” Titus continued. “It would seem the decision as to Ontari’s fate is best left to the _haihefa_ _kom Azgeda_. I will, however, support whatever decision _Heda_ makes in this regard.”

Silence fell over those gathered.

“Are there other concerns?” Lexa asked. “Speak now.” She looked at Indra, who gave a barely noticeable shake of her head. “Then it is decided. _Haihefa_ Roan will take Ontari back to _Azgeda_ and punish her in accordance with what he determines the extent of her infractions are. Is this amenable to all?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” came the murmurs from around her.

“ _Haihefa_?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He bowed his head.

“Is there other business?” She asked, a formality since she suspected Roan would make one more request.

“ _Sha_ ,” Roan said. “I formally announce that I, _haihefa kom Azgeda_ , seek entrance for _Azgeda_ to the _kongeda_.”

She nodded. “It is thus acknowledged. All here stand in witness.”

“I seek to return in ten days for the formal petition and ceremony.”

“If there are no objections among us, it will be so.” She looked around. “Speak now.”

No one did.

“I also suggest, _haihefa_ , that in conjunction with your petition upon your return, a festival to acknowledge such and also to commemorate the end of the mountain and a new era between the clans. Perhaps you might wish to help us prepare for such an event.”

“I would be honored to do so, _Heda_.”

“Very well. We will no doubt require food and drink. So perhaps merchants from _Azgeda_ would be interested in attending as vendors.”

“I am quite certain they would. We will coordinate.”

“And I believe that concludes formal business. Atlan, would you and _Hamza kom Sankru_ serve as council representatives to accompany _haihefa_ Roan to _Azgeda_?”

“Certainly, _Heda_ ,” she said, expression neutral but Lexa knew she understood why she had been chosen. She was a powerful representative of the _kongeda_ , and Luna was a strong supporter of it. Atlan was also a respected warrior and it would not go unnoticed that someone of her stature served as a clan representative at the death ceremonies of Nia. As treacherous as Nia had been, she had still been queen of _Azgeda_ , and Lexa was offering a show of respect for the _Azgeda_ throne, even though she had bested it.

Hamza, Atlan would understand, was a respected elder among the clans, also with a strong warrior reputation. But as a sometime detractor of Lexa, she was disarming him in that regard by giving him an important task here and if he did not perform in accordance with what the solemnity of the occasion demanded, it would reflect badly on him and his clan. He had everything to gain and everything to lose with this task, depending on how he decided to play his role. The slight smirk at the corners of Atlan’s mouth demonstrated that she knew full well why Lexa had made these choices.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” Roan said.

“Might Jos, along with _Wash kom Trikru_ , oversee the release of the prisoners who choose to accompany you?” she asked.

“ _Sha_.”

“Then we will begin offering them the choice. There is also an _Azgeda_ merchant at the guardhouse near the main gates who I suspect will wish to return with you.”

Roan’s brow creased in puzzlement.

“ _Fyzen kom Azgeda_. He has been recuperating from some wounds he received at the hands of Nia loyalists.”

Roan smiled. “His family will be pleased. _Mochof_ , _Heda_ , for what you did for him.”

She nodded. “He may not be able to walk very far yet.”

“We will find a horse for him.”

“Business is thus concluded,” Lexa said. “Will you be accompanying Wash and Jos to the cells?”

“If I may. It might prove more convincing,” he said, his tone dry but his eyes bright with appreciation. “And one moment, _Heda_.” He went to the doorway and spoke with someone in the corridor—an _Azgeda_ warrior. Roan turned, a knife in each hand, blades wrapped in leather. He held them by the blades and offered them hilt-first to her.

“These were on Nia’s belt. They have _Trikru_ markings. I think perhaps they belong here, and not with her.”

She recognized them immediately as Clarke’s. She fought a smile as she took them and slid them into her belt. “ _Mochof_ , _heihefa_. Would you and Jos please wait on the ground floor? Wash will arrive from the guardhouse and guide you to the cells.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He gave her a nod and returned to the corridor. Jos paused at the doorway.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” she said. “ _Mochof_.”

“I will see you upon your return. Your children are also welcome.”

Jos’s eyes filled with tears but she slipped out of the room before any fell.

“I will fetch Hamza,” Atlan said. “And we will prepare to accompany Roan.”

“ _Os_. Ferris, I will need to speak with you later, after I meet with _Abi kom Skaikru_ and Clarke.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He left with Atlan.

“Indra, after you fetch Wash, find me. I would like you to accompany me to the meeting with the Chancellor.”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said and left.

Lexa turned to Titus. “What news with regard to Danyel and Mykal?”

“I informed both that Nia was dead. Danyel did not seem pleased. Mykal appeared frightened but resigned. It is my understanding that Izik will soon be here.”

“Will he carry out the proper punishment?”

“I do not know how he cannot, given all the witnesses to Danyel’s treachery.”

She thought then about Mykal, barely out of childhood, mind already twisted. Danyel’s life should be forfeit, but what good, really, did Mykal’s death do? He might be better served with banishment, especially since he had provided names of other _Delfikru_ who plotted against her and the _kongeda_.

“I have begun checking some things with regard to _Delfikru_ ,” he said and she knew he meant that he was activating more spy networks. “It concerns me, the extent of Danyel’s influence.”

“When Izik arrives, I want you with me when I speak with him.” Titus was very good at reading people and he had known Izik longer than she had. He would be able to determine whether he had known of Danyel’s activities and if so, whether he had supported them or not. If he hadn’t, then he was not as effective a leader as he could be and she would encourage Titus to find others who supported her and were willing to quietly step forward in _Delfikru_ who could marginalize Izik and perhaps push him out of leadership.

All things to consider, but until she spoke with Izik and saw what he planned to do with Danyel and Mykal, she had other matters to deal with.

“I would see the wounded at the guardhouse and then here in the tower.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. _Ai na goch yu op_.” 14

She nodded, glad for his company, as he would be able to offer observations and updates. They proceeded to the lift, several guards with them and as they descended to the ground floor, she thought, again, of the night before and this morning and her fingers toyed with the hilt of one of Clarke’s knives. And in spite of all the other things she had to do and all of the responsibilities she had to deal with, thoughts of Clarke calmed her, made her feel stronger somehow.

The lift stopped at the ground floor and she stepped off into a crowd of warriors who grinned when they saw her and shouted “ _Heda_ ” almost on one accord. Beside her, Titus almost smiled again. She worked her way through them, offering greetings and words of encouragement. She stepped outside into the crisp air and warmth of the sunlight, feeling strangely lighter, as if she had been carrying a weight for months. Perhaps years.

As she walked to the guardhouse, her guards and Titus with her, people shouted and waved at her and chanted “ _Heda_ ” as she passed.

“I think perhaps we should let them know as soon as possible that we are planning a festival,” she said to Titus as they walked.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. Let us start now.” He looked at the guards with them. “We will begin this festival after _haihefa_ Roan returns in ten days from _Azgeda_ to enter the _kongeda_. It is to commemorate the end of the mountain, the start of the harvest, and new days to come.”

The guards all grinned.

“ _Heda_ hopes that she will have much help in organizing it. She has yet to determine how long it will last, but she hopes it will be at least a few days.”

“It will be,” one of the guards said, “and _Heda_ will have as much help as she needs.”

“ _Sha_ ,” the other guards said and Lexa knew that the news would surely travel throughout Polis by nightfall, and in the days after, the other clans would be alerted. Trade networks, too, would spread the word. Polis would be inundated with visitors.

A small price to pay for these precious days of peace.

A small price indeed.

She entered the guardhouse, more glad than she could say, for the respite.

  
11 _Nou get yu daun_ : Don’t worry [you’ve seen this one]  
12 _Heda_ , _haihefa Roan komba raun_ : _Heda_ , king Roan approaches/is coming.  
13 _Haihefa_. _Min yu op_ : King. Enter [you’ve seen _min yu op_ several times]  
14 _Ai na goch yu op_ : I’ll escort you [you’ve seen this one]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, everybody! Here are MOAR FEELZ. I love me some Clexa feelz. Hope you do, too. As I noted before, we're in the winding down phase, though you'll also notice that some plotlines may not be completely tied up. I do that deliberately, to leave avenues of exploration open. I was thinking there'd be one more installment after this, but now I think I may do two, just so I can end on 70 chapters. We shall see!
> 
> I'll probably post in two weeks, the weekend of July 28th unless we all get lucky and I hammer away on the next installment and get it done before that. I'll keep you posted if that changes.
> 
> UPDATE, July 30th: I'm not quite done with the next installment, friends. Hopefully this week...stay tuned!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH, all of you who have been following this since I started posting it last year. And thanks to those of you who have joined me along the way! Thanks for the kudos and the comments and the thoughts. Y'all have made me think more about a lot of things, and I really appreciate that. You can also find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com), where you can ask me anything! FOR REALZ! MUAH!
> 
> Songs that helped me in the writing of this chapter: IDER, "Does She Even Know"; Dagny, "Wearing Nothing"; Judah and the Lion, "Suit and Jacket";


	69. Everything has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes to visit the wounded and has to deal with more questions from Bellamy. Lexa, meanwhile, goes to the guardhouse to check on the wounded. Abby shows up to do the same. Then Lexa has to deal with Izik kom Delfikru and then she has a talk with Titus.

Clarke went first to the floor where wounded from the bombing were housed. Her two guards checked the rooms then positioned themselves inside near the doorway. She automatically scanned the premises, too. A few of the beds were empty since the last time she had been here, a few days ago, and she assumed it was because the people who had used them were able to leave. She would no doubt have heard if there had been other deaths.

“ _Wanheda_.”

She turned and smiled when she realized it was Tam. “Heya. How are you?”

“My wounds are nothing to worry about. And you?”

She knew Tam’s question was about more than her superficial injuries. She had spent too much time among Grounders not to, and she liked how a question could have whatever meaning a recipient wished to apply. “I’ll mend,” she said, and from Tam’s expression, she understood the many layers Clarke’s statement provided. “I don’t remember seeing this yesterday.” She stepped closer for a better look at the cut above Tam’s right eye.

“Wash told me that you have healer training.” She didn’t move as Clarke peered at her injury. “He said that you helped pull _Azgeda_ arrows out of him at Arkadia.”

“Well, somebody had to do it,” she said, tone dry. “Bad idea to leave them in.”

“ _Wanheda_ is indeed modest.”

Clarke smiled again. The wound was clean and clearly covered with a salve. Abby probably would have stitched it, but given the chaos of the preceding couple of days, she doubted she would have been able to get to Tam in a timely fashion.

“The Chancellor went to get more medical supplies from her quarters,” Tam said as Clarke stepped back.

“And the rest of _Skaikru_?”

“Balta took Raven to the floor where Mykal put the bombs.”

She could almost see Raven’s excitement about investigating something like that, but she found she didn’t want to see the floor right now, didn’t want to think about how close she had come to losing Lexa there, too.

“The rest have been mostly in their quarters, resting, though Bellamy may have gone with Raven and Balta. Octavia and Lincoln spoke with Indra earlier.”

That wasn’t entirely unexpected, since Octavia was operating in the role of Indra’s second. “And Jax?”

“He has remained in his quarters, but the door has been open. Sam comes and goes.”

“Is he talking to anyone?”

“No. Lora looked in on him. He did eat, but he has also been sleeping. Perhaps the effects of Nia’s poison have not entirely left him.”

That was possible, but she was skeptical. “Has the Chancellor checked on him in that regard?”

“I do not know.”

She was about to say something else when Abby entered, carrying one of the boxes she had brought from Arkadia. Two guards accompanied her, and they, too, took positions near the entryway, chatting in low voices with Clarke’s guards. When Abby saw Clarke, her face lit up.

“Hi,” she said as she approached. “I was hoping you were going to take it easy today.”

“I got some rest,” she said, trying not to think about her other activities.

Tam took the box from Abby and carried it to a table against a wall and Abby gave Clarke a brief hug.

“Good,” she said.

“So how are things here? And with everybody else? Tam said Raven is checking the floor where the bombings happened.”

“Good, good, and yes,” Abby said with a smile. “Let me check you over and I’ll give you details.”

Tam returned. “When _Heda_ is ready to speak further with you and the Chancellor, she will send someone to fetch you.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke said. “ _Mochof_.”

She nodded, inclined her head respectfully at Abby, and left.

“There’s a bathroom back here we can use,” Abby said, gesturing. These were larger quarters than Clarke had seen in the tower, and it was probably why they had been converted to a medical ward. She followed her, and once in the bathroom, she stripped off her shirt and held her arm up so she could see the bruises Ontari had left.

“Nothing different,” she said, and she took a small jar of Balta’s salve out of her belt pouch and handed it to Abby. She missed the feel of her knives, and it pissed her off that Nia had taken them. Hopefully, she would be able to get another. She had traded a portrait of Zander to Niylah for the first. Maybe she could do that with one of the vendors in Polis. She winced as Abby rubbed salve into the bruises on her ribs.

“Did you eat?”

Clarke nodded. “So. What’s happening? Did you contact Arkadia?”

She smiled. “Hold your arm up a little higher.” Abby rubbed salve into a different spot and it was cool on Clarke’s skin, and she winced again. Still tender, though she hadn’t noticed earlier. She cleared her throat softly. Lexa was seriously distracting. Not that she minded.

“Okay. Let me see your back.”

Clarke turned around and Abby rubbed some salve into a couple of spots.

“Yes, I contacted Arkadia. Everything’s fine, there. Kane wanted me to send you his good wishes and to pass those along to Lexa. Bellamy is with Raven and Balta having a look at the floor that was bombed. Everybody else stayed on our floor, but Balta said she would supply some guards to take them out into the city later today if they want to go.”

“What about Jax?”

Abby’s fingers stopped moving.

“Have you checked him? He was poisoned.”

“I have,” she said, but her voice sounded tight.

“What?” Clarke turned to face her.

“You were right. He’s not a fan of mine.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. He just really didn’t want to say anything to me.” She waved her hand dismissively.

“Has he talked to anybody since he got to the tower?”

“I don’t know. Let me see your knee.”

Clarke pulled her pantleg up, accepting her change in subject.

“What’s your pain level?”

“Not bad. It doesn’t bother me if I’m not using it.”

Abby gave her a look. “You know what I’m going to say to that. But I also know you’re going to use it regardless. But try to get a little bit of extra rest so you can elevate it if it’s bothering you.” She rubbed salve in, gently, and though it hurt at first, it relieved the soreness.

Clarke watched her, thinking that she looked tired, though the stress lines around her mouth weren’t as pronounced.

“I’m impressed with how well the staff here functions,” Abby said as she continued to gently rub salve across Clarke’s kneecap. “And I’m also impressed at the medical knowledge, given that they don’t have the tech that we do. These salves are truly amazing.” She put the lid back on the jar and handed it to Clarke.

“Balta said you’d be interested in learning and teaching.”

“I would.” She straightened and wiped her hands off on a cloth she’d brought.

Clarke tucked her pantleg back into her boot. “After Roan joins the _kongeda_ , we can start arranging some exchanges between Polis and Arkadia. And other villages, too. I think it’s important for all of us to get to know each other.”

She smiled. “We’ll be holding an election in the next couple of weeks.”

“For what?”

“I told you I didn’t think Chancellor was a good fit for me. Kane has lots of support, and the consensus is to keep the council as it is right now, with representatives from surviving parts of the Ark. So we’ve got Sinclair still, Kane, and Terra from Farm Station. I know some people have approached Bellamy to serve on the council, but he’s not interested.”

“Maybe Miller’s dad?”

“Yes. He’s agreed to be put to a vote of confidence or no confidence. We figure that will be the best way to come to agreement on councilmembers and Chancellors, until we’re more organized and people learn the way things work and then others can step forward.”

“What about you?”

“I’ve agreed to be put to a vote in terms of serving on the Arkadia council, but I’ve also suggested Jackson, so if I don’t get the votes, he probably will.”

Clarke studied her for a few moments, trying to read her. “You’re okay with this,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes, I am. I’m fine with serving on the council or not. If not, Jackson would be good, and maybe that will help people move past whatever issues they have with me.” Her voice caught a little and Clarke reached for her hand.

“People need you no matter what. You had to deal with awful situations, and you did the best you could and you showed leadership. I know how that feels.”

She squeezed Clarke’s hand. “I have strengths that are better used elsewhere. And I meant what I said. You’re a better leader now than I think I could ever be. And as hard as it is for me to let you do that, you have gifts, and it’s best that you use them. So I made sure that the future council and Chancellor will keep you as our representative to Polis.” She let go of Clarke’s hand. “I think it’s best that you not vote in elections as long as you’re embassador, unless it’s as as a tie-breaker for the council, if that’s needed.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“I’m sure Kane and the council will outline what they expect from you as our council rep. And I know Kane will lean heavily on you with regard to working with Lexa and the _kongeda_ , since you’ve been doing it for a while.”

“And you’re okay with all of this?”

“I have to be.”

Clarke waited, sensing that she had more to say.

“This is a whole new world, and things got off to a bad start, and I know how important it is to correct that. You’re the one among us who is best positioned to really do this process.”

“So you’re saying that you trust me?”

“Yes.”

She heard the uncertainty behind the word and smiled. “But…” she started, giving Abby an opportunity to continue.

“But yes, I have concerns. I’m your mother. I’m always going to have concerns. I mean, I almost lost you to some crazy woman with a grudge. She actually used chloroform on you. _You_. My daughter. If Lexa hadn’t put her down, I would have.” She crossed her arms, gaze intense. “There are some things that are not negotiable. You are one of them.” She cleared her throat and glanced at her feet then back at Clarke. “Do you want to do a round among the wounded here with me?”

“Yeah,” she said, accepting the deflection. This new bridge between them was still shaky. “Oh, have Lora or Michi said anything to you?” she asked as she followed Abby out of the bathroom.

“They both apologized.” Abby smiled. “Don’t look so shocked. Michi's lost a lot, but hides it.”

“Behind an asshole wall,” Clarke said, but like Lora had said, Michi kind of grew on you after a while. “Did they say anything about going back to Arkadia?”

“They both would like to. Have you talked to Lexa about that?”

“No. I’ll bring it up when we see her later.”

Abby squatted next to a warrior who was sitting up and leaning against a wall, a bandage on her head.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” she said in greeting.

“ _Heya_ , _plangona_. _Em laik Abi, heda kom Skaikru_. _Em laik fisa_.” 1

“ _Sha_. _Em don chek ai au disha sonop_.” 2

“I forgot,” she said to Abby, that you’ve already been through here. She looked back at the warrior, whose expression was grave.

“ _En’s ridiyo_ , _sontaim hashta Hedas gonplei kom Nia_?” 3 the warrior asked.

“ _Chon sontaim_?” 4

“ _Nia don set daun_ , _den em don jomp Heda op_ , _taim Hedas bakon don ste twis op_? 5

“ _Sha_. _Heda frag em op kom em swis_.” 6

The warrior nodded. “ _Os_ ,” she said, with a finality that indicated she was done talking about this subject and she closed her eyes as Abby checked the wound on her head but she didn’t add any salve to it.

“And this is why you should be the _Skaikru_ representative,” Abby said.

“She wanted to know if the story about how Lexa killed Nia was true.”

“Which part?”

“Nia had surrendered, and when Lexa turned her back, Nia attacked her.” She remembered it vividly, replayed Nia jerking to her feet and launching herself at Lexa. In a way, she was glad she had, because as long as Nia lived, Lexa would have had to deal with her machinations.

Abby stood. “Lexa offered her the opportunity to surrender?”

“Yes. And when Nia did, Lexa announced that the council would decide her judgment. Nia attacked her right after that.”

Abby didn’t respond and instead checked another person, a servant. She kept her eyes on Clarke the whole time and Clarke nodded encouragement.

“You seem to have the trust of a lot of people here,” Abby said as she put more salve on one of the woman’s cuts.

Clarke shrugged and handed her a cloth so she could wipe her hands when she finished. Abby went into the bathroom, probably to wash her hands, then checked a few more people, Clarke translating as necessary.

“That should do it,” Abby said after checking another servant.

“Can I see the more severely wounded?”

“Sure. Will you carry some supplies?”

“Yeah.” She waited as Abby washed her hands again.

“There are two who were injured in the bombing that I’m concerned about. I’m doing what I can with help from healers here, but they probably should have had surgery.”

Clarke took the metal box and followed Abby into another room where five people lay on mattresses. A healer Clarke didn’t recognize nodded at them as they entered. She spoke English, so Clarke looked at the wounded—two women and three men—and automatically assessed. Some broken bones and deep gashes. One had a severely injured leg that probably would have been amputated if they had access to modern medical facilities. Another lay on his stomach, and his back was covered with burns and slathered with a pale yellow salve. He was actually sleeping.

“I gave him a mild sedative earlier,” Abby said as she knelt and looked at his back. “He’s been out since.”

“Good. Looks like he needed it.”

“These will heal, but I’m worried about infection, so I’m having Balta’s team keep an eye on him.”

The man with the badly injured leg was also sleeping and Clarke guessed Abby had given him a sedative, too.

“He probably would be better off if we took the leg from the knee down,” Abby said in a low voice. “But I don’t have the facilities. I could probably do it at Arkadia, but it’s too dangerous to move him.”

He was a big man, and looked to be in his thirties. A _Trikru_ warrior, who had probably been badly injured in other ways during his life in that role.

“There are two warriors I’d like to see,” Clarke said, still watching the man sleep. “Ayda and Rex.” She looked at Abby.

“Ayda is in a room down the hall. She’s been taking visitors, so I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Rex, however, is in bad shape. He lost a lot of blood and sustained some serious wounds. I’m minimizing contact with him because I’m worried about infection.”

“They tried to keep Nia’s warriors from taking me.”

Abby’s mouth tightened in one of her mom expressions.

“Can I just look in on Rex?”

She started to respond then abruptly nodded. “Come on.”

Clarke followed her into the corridor and they walked past two doors. Abby stopped at the third.

“He may not be lucid.”

“That’s fine. I just want to see him. I’ll be quick.”

She nodded and opened the door and Clarke stepped into the room. Abby stayed in the hallway and closed the door halfway.

Rex lay on a bed, his head and half his face bandaged in such a way that his eyes were covered. Other bandages covered his chest and abdomen and Clarke bit her lip. “Shit,” she whispered. If only she hadn’t gone to the gates.

“ _Chon ste hir_?” 7 he asked, startling her. His voice rasped from his throat.

“ _Heya_ , _Rex kom Trikru_.” She moved a little closer. “ _En’s Klark_.” 8

“ _Wanheda_?”

“ _Sha_.”

A brief smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “This is indeed good news,” he rasped.

“Are you thirsty?”

“Yes.”

Clarke picked up the cup from the nearby table and filled it with water from a pitcher that stood next to it. “Don’t move,” she said when she saw him struggling to sit up. Carefully, she slid her left arm under his neck and braced it as she held the cup to his lips with her right. He took a few swallows and sighed with relief.

“ _Mochof_ ,” he said as she gently lowered his head back to the pillow.

“And thank you,” she said, “for protecting me.”

He smiled again. “I am pleased you are back. The healers told me a story about _Heda_ and Nia. Is it true?”

“Yes. _Heda_ killed Nia, who dishonored herself by agreeing to surrender then she attacked _Heda_ when her back was turned.”

He was quiet for a few moments. “I am glad that I am still here for this news, and to know that you have returned.”

She bit her lip, wishing there was something she could do for him, something that would ease his physical pain.

“Clarke,” Abby said from the doorway.

She nodded and gently squeezed Rex’s hand. “I’ll visit again.”

“I would like that,” he said, closing his fingers around hers for a moment before he let go of her hand.

She joined Abby in the corridor. “What’s his prognosis?”

“I’m cautiously optimistic. I gave him some antibiotics last night and hopefully that’s helping. He was stabbed several times, and I’m watching for signs of internal bleeding.” She paused. “I’m wondering if, at some point, Lexa would be amenable to me creating a space here in the tower for surgeries.”

Clarke stared at her, surprised. “Really?”

“Polis is a hub, like you said. It would probably be easier for me to come here than to try to transport people to Arkadia.”

“And it would probably be better politically, since people would probably get pissed about Grounders taking resources from Arkadia.” She tried not to sound bitter about it, but from Abby’s expression she wasn’t successful.

“It’s going to take a while to build trust between us and the clans. If Lexa and the coalition approve the idea of me creating some kind of medical facility here, then we have to see if we can salvage more materials or even something from the mountain—”

“They won’t accept machines from the mountain. Not after what happened to Grounders inside it.”

“Then we’ll take them to Arkadia and make them our own before we bring them to Polis.”

“You can’t just erase what was basically medical slavery by going through a middleman.”

“What other alternative is there? If we’re going to build relationships in terms of medicine and tech, then I need to be able to use it.”

Clarke started to retort but stopped herself. “You know what? I like this idea, but I’m not on board with the medical equipment from the mountain. How about we revisit this another time?”

Abby’s eyes narrowed and her jaw muscles tightened and Clarke braced for the expected response. It didn’t come. Instead, she nodded, though she was still tense.

“Hey, Clarke,” came Raven’s voice as she approached from the stairwell and Clarke almost sighed in relief.

“Hey. How are you doing?” She asked as she gave her a quick hug, noting that her face was no longer drawn with fatigue and pain.

“Good. You?”

“Okay. My mom says you were having a look at the floor where the bombings happened.”

“Yeah. I’m guessing they were IEDs, like I told you, on a timer. I think I know where each was, if you’re interested to see it.”

Clarke nodded. “Lexa will probably want to see it, too, so I’ll tell her and hopefully she’ll get to it later today. Are you up for that?”

Abby looked like she wanted to say something about that, but Raven spoke first.

“Hell, yes.”

“Good. Where’s Bellamy?”

“Right here,” he said, trailing a guard as he approached. “I went with Raven. There’s a lot of damage on that floor.”

“And there were a lot of casualties,” Abby said. “Fortunately, there weren’t as many deaths as the bomber might have wanted.”

“Where is the bomber?” Bellamy glanced from Abby back to Clarke.

“He’s in custody,” Clarke said.

“That Danyel guy?” Bellamy asked.

“No. His nephew, who’s younger than we are.”

“Shit,” Raven muttered.

Bellamy shrugged. “Being young doesn’t mean you won’t or can’t do bad things.” He gave her a hard stare and Clarke guessed he was probably referring to how Wells had died, at the hands of Charlotte, a few years younger than Clarke.

“I didn’t say it did. I’m just offering perspective.” She kept her tone mild, but from his demeanor, he seemed both distant and irritated and she assumed it was because of her relationship with Lexa. Which he didn’t know the extent of, but clearly, he was going to have a difficult time when he did. Abby glanced at Bellamy then gave Clarke a questioning look.

“So what exactly is the plan?” Bellamy said before Clarke could speak.

“I’ll know more after I talk to Lexa,” Abby said.

“And that’s happening when?”

“When she lets me know. Soon, I think. Once I talk to her I’ll have a better sense of when we can leave. I think some of you can probably go back to Arkadia in the next day if you want.”

“What about you?” Clarke asked.

“I’ll see if Lexa wants me to stay a few more days for the worst of the injured. If she does, I will.”

Bellamy scowled. “Is that a good idea?”

“I’m a doctor,” Abby said. “And we are part of an alliance with _Trikru_.”

“What about you?” Bellamy said to Clarke.

“I’m meeting with Lexa, too, and we’ll figure out what I’ll be doing, too. Roan will be back here in ten days for formal entrance to the _kongeda_ and I’ll probably be involved in that.

Bellamy looked at her, eyes narrowed.

“Is there some kind of celebration after something like that?” Raven asked.

Clarke pursed her lips. “I don’t know. I’ll find out.”

“Because I think a party would be a great idea.” Raven smiled.

“I agree,” Abby said, and Bellamy scowled again, but she ignored him. “If there is a celebration of some kind, I think people from Arkadia should attend. We could all use some fun and we need to get to know our neighbors.”

“Is that really a good idea?” Bellamy asked, and Clarke glanced at Abby, pleading silently with her eyes for her to answer.

“Yes, actually, I do.” Abby said it with finality. “A party is always a good idea.”

He scowled again, the one he used when he was uncertain about something.

“Damn, Bell,” Raven said. “What crawled up your ass?”

He shot her a glare and Clarke cleared her throat and looked down at the floor, trying to hide her smile.

“Maybe I don’t think it’s that great an idea to bring everybody from Arkadia here. Do we really know these people?”

“We’re not bringing everybody,” Abby said, a snap in her voice. “For those who don’t come to Polis, we’ll still have some kind of party at Arkadia in a show of solidarity.”

Clarke stared at her, surprised.

“And now I’m going to go check on some more wounded at the guardhouse. Clarke, do you want to come with me?”

“Sure. I’ll tell one of the healers to let Balta know so Lexa knows where to find us.”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Bellamy said suddenly.

“Go on,” Abby said to her. “You can catch up. And if you don’t make it, I’ll see you when Lexa’s ready for us.”

Clarke looked at Raven, hoping she would step in but knowing she probably needed to hash this out with Bellamy, whatever was bothering him.

“Don’t worry about me,” Raven said. “I’ve got some things I can look at that I gathered on the bombing floor. I’ll see you later.”

Clarke nodded and turned back to Bellamy and waited, preparing for what she knew would be his continued challenge of her. He glanced at the guards, who were chatting with each other about twenty feet away, then looked at her.

“What the fuck is going on with you?” he asked in a low voice.

She fought an urge to eyeroll. “Can you be more specific?” she retorted.

“All of a sudden you’re all about Lexa—”

“Stop. Right there.” She put her hand up. “All of a sudden? Do you not remember when I came back to Arkadia with news about Nia trying to start a war with _Trikru_ using us as bait? I said then that Lexa was our best defense. You asked me if I trusted her and I said yes. So what the fuck is going on with _you_?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I saw you after she killed Nia. You seemed closer than you should have.”

“You are literally saying that to me?” Anger clenched her guts. “After what all of us have been through the past weeks, _that’s_ what you want to talk about? A hug?”

“It looked like more than that,” he muttered but Clarke heard him.

“Really? That’s where you want to take this conversation? Are you questioning a display of relief and affection after a horrible ordeal or are you questioning my decisions to work with Lexa and the _kongeda_?”

He opened his mouth then closed it.

“Whether you want it or not, _Skaikru_ is part of the _kongeda_ ,” she said, voice tight. “We are the thirteenth clan and Lexa is the Commander of the clans. It is thus in our best interests that we try to work with her. Or did you forget that she radioed Arkadia as soon as she found out Nia had kidnapped me? That she worked with _Skaikru_ to find me and to put an end to Nia?”

“That’s not a guarantee that she’ll do it again.”

“It is. A threat to one clan is a threat to all and to her. That’s how this works, and that’s how she works.”

“She’s making us owe favors to her.” He crossed his arms again and Clarke decided he sounded like a cranky child.

“Did you say the same things about stations on the Ark? Because that’s similar to how the _kongeda_ works. Every station had its independence, but the Chancellor was the coordinator of it all. And you can’t tell me that the council reps of the stations didn’t try to work with Jaha.”

“That’s different—”

“No, it’s not.” She glared at him. “The only thing that’s different is that the clans are not Arkers and that makes you nervous.”

“As it should,” he said, glaring back. “They attacked us when we came to the ground.”

“Yeah, well, we sure as hell didn’t give them much of a reason not to.”

“Just whose side are you on?” He almost growled the words.

She glared back. “I’m on the side that works for the best option for the most people.”

“That’s a shit answer. She’s got you brainwashed.”

Clarke took a deep breath, hoping it would help calm her down. “Look. I get how difficult this is for you. Your job is to think about security. And I get that you spent most of your life protecting Octavia—“

“She has nothing to do with this.” He wore the scowl that appeared when he was defending Octavia.

“Yes, actually, she does. Because all the responsibility that was put on you as a kid with regard to her still affects how you deal with people now. And it’s really overbearing. So what exactly is this about? Because I know it’s not just about Lexa.”

“We’re going to be sorry about this alliance,” he said after a few moments of a stare-down.

“You’re going to have to do better than that.”

“Lexa will always default to her people—look, I get that she’s helped you and even us a couple of times and on a personal level, she might be cool to hang out with, but she is all about her people and that will bite us in the ass.”

Clarke swallowed the acidic response that bubbled in ther throat and instead shook her head. There were days he made her so damn tired. “You know what else will bite us in the ass? War. War with any one of the clans will put an end to everything we’re trying to do down here. And I’m not saying war won’t come eventually. But the _kongeda_ offers the best chance any of us have against that, and the peace will help us figure out how to survive. As counterintuitive as it might be for you, the best chance for our independence right now comes from this alliance.”

He exhaled, clearly frustrated. “I know how you are, Clarke. You just go ahead and do whatever without thinking things through and then the rest of us have to deal with the fallout.”

That stung. “So what, then, would you prefer I do? Any situation down here can shift in a second. I’m looking for constants, Bellamy. Or at least less unstable. Lexa and the _kongeda_ are in that category. Or maybe you’d prefer we do nothing, and allow any clan to do whatever they want to us?”

“That’s not what I meant—”

“Yes, it is. You accuse me of doing whatever I want and leaving some kind of mess behind but you don’t understand what exactly I’m doing, or the politics I’m having to navigate, or all the work I put in trying to learn how power and leverage work on the ground with the people who are here and how we can get in on it. Do you really believe that I’m just jumping into this without thinking?” She stared hard at him, her hands on her hips. “And you’d better get used to the idea of dealing with Grounders. They were here first and this is their world. We’re newcomers. Lexa is willing to work with me—with _Skaikru_ —and we’d be idiots not to accept that.”

He scowled again, but this one was his uncertain expression. “That’s the problem. We _are_ new and you’re putting us in a position where we can be taken advantage of.”

“Really? Because the way I see this going is that in order to truly survive, we figure out ways to work with people who are here, and we help them as we can, too. There will be compromises on both sides, but as long as Lexa is in power, she will work with us.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.” With every fiber of my being, she wanted to add but she didn’t.

His scowl softened. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“I know.”

He relaxed a little, and Clarke knew that she’d given him the reassurances he needed that she wasn’t making arbitrary decisions. That was usually at the core of his confrontations with her, was that he wasn’t sure what she was trying to do.

“I need you on this, Bell,” she said. “There are people who look up to you and I need to know that you’re still willing to back me up. And maybe call me out.”

“I’ll definitely do that.”

She smiled. “I know that, too.”

“Hey, Griffin.”

They both turned at Octavia’s voice.

“Raven wants to know if you’re cool going to the bombing floor. She’s doing some witness accounts and would like you there, since you’re a witness, too.”

“Yeah, okay.” It meant she probably wouldn’t make it to the guardhouse before Lexa was ready for the meeting with her and Abby, but she’d let a servant know to take the message to her, that she was staying in the tower.

“I’ll come, too,” Bellamy said, sounding more like he usually did. She’d dodged a bullet there, that she hadn’t had to address what was really happening with Lexa, that the Commander of the clans was far more than an alliance, that she was somehow embedded between her heart and soul, and that there were days it seemed she held those two things together.

“Okay. Go on ahead. I have to tell a guard or servant to go to the guardhouse and let my mom know I won’t be going there.”

He looked at Octavia.

“I’ll walk with her,” she said and he gave Clarke a questioning look.

“It’s fine, Bell. We’ll see you up there.”

He nodded and left. Clarke told one of her guards to get a message to Abby and he nodded and left. The other fell in behind her and Octavia as they moved to the stairwell. “What’s going on with Jax?”

“Not sure, but whatever it is, he’s not a match for Arkadia.”

“Did you talk to Lora?”

“A little. She mentioned Jax has it in for Abby.” Octavia started up the steps then paused. “Are you okay to do this?” She motioned at Clarke’s knee.

“Yeah. Just go slow.”

“Lexa will kill me if she knows I let you do this.” She smirked.

“Shut up,” Clarke said with an eyeroll as she used the right-hand wall for extra support.

“Seriously, Griffin. You okay?”

“Yeah. Go.”

But Octavia didn’t. Instead, she moved closer. “I’m not sure what you should do about Jax. I don’t think he wants to go back to Arkadia, but I don’t think he can survive without it.”

“Does he have any friends at Arkadia?”

“Don’t know.”

“Ask Lora. She’ll probably know. If he does, that might be enough to at least get him there.” And with elections coming up, he might stick around with Kane as Chancellor.

“You’re going to recommend that Lexa lift his banishment?”

“Maybe. Like you said, he’ll probably die without Arkadia.”

“And if he doesn’t want to go?” Octavia took a couple of steps and waited for her.

“Then there’s not a damn thing I can do for him.” She kept moving, her knee protesting with every step but the pain wasn’t as bad as it had been the day before when they were walking through the forest.

Octavia looked at her, worry in her eyes.

“I’m okay. We’re almost there.”

“Abby will kill me, too, if this messes your knee up worse. But I think I’m more scared of Lexa.” She flashed her a grin.

Clarke glanced at the guard, whose expression remained placid but maybe an amused glint flashed in his eyes. She looked back up at Octavia, who stood in the doorway that opened to the floor where the bombing had taken place. The pain in her knee eased once she was just walking, but the floor was still littered with debris and chunks of stone.

“Hey,” Raven called from the other end of the corridor where she stood with Bellamy. “I’ve got theories for you.”

Clarke smiled. “Maybe go see what everybody’s up to?” she asked Octavia.

“Yeah. I’ll check in with Sam,” she said. “You good?”

Clarke nodded, glad that Raven was here to blunt any other deep discussions Bellamy might want to have. Gina, Harper, and Monty emerged from a nearby room and that made her feel even better. “So is this your investigative team?” she teased as she approached.

“They’re the best,” Raven shot back. “And the only available, so that makes them kind of elite.”

Gina gave Clarke a light squeeze around her shoulders. “Good to see you up and about.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

“Enough bonding.” Raven motioned Clarke back down the corridor. “Let us commence to discovering answers.”

“Or more questions,” Harper said, tone innocent.

“The nature of science,” Raven shot back, and Clarke smiled again, enjoying the banter, even in this place where terrible things had happened. That was one of the things about life on the ground, she had learned, was to treasure moments like this, no matter where you found them. And maybe a little levity in a place of pain would provide a bit of healing for those left behind, and for the space itself. She followed Raven, thinking about the ways things could change, how love and loss were often intertwined, and how home wasn’t always a place.

It was here, in the banter of long-time friends, and the ways they both pushed and accepted those in their circle, and it was in the communicative silences she shared with people she’d only just gotten to know in a culture brand new to her. And it was always in Lexa’s smile and the depths of her eyes, in the softening of her features when she teased, and in the warmth and strength of her embrace.

She smiled at the wave of heat that always accompanied thoughts of Lexa. Hopefully, they’d get more private time together later that day. Right now, though, there were other things she needed to think about, unfortunately. She sighed and focused on Raven.

 

1 _Heya_ , _plangona_. _Em laik Abi, heda kom Skaikru_. _Em laik seimtaim fisa_ : Hello, warrior woman. This is Abby, leader of _Skaikru_. She is also a healer.  
2 _Em don chek ai au disha sonop_ : She checked me over this morning  
3 _En’s ridiyo_ , _sontaim hashta Hedas gonplei kom Nia_? Is it true, the story about _Heda’s fight with Nia_?  
3 _Chon sontaim_? Which story?  
5 _Nia don set daun_ , _den em don jomp Heda op_ , _taim Hedas bakon don ste twis op_? [that] Nia surrendered, then attacked _Heda_ while her back was turned?  
6 _Heda frag em op kom em swis_ : _Heda_ killed her with her knife  
7 _Chon ste hir_? Who is it? [literally, “who is here?”]  
8 _En’s Klark_ : It’s Clarke [the “en’s” construction appears to be used for “it’s” in a variety of ways, most often with “en’s ridiyo,” meaning “it’s true.” I’m applying it a little differently here.]

 

###

Lexa always found the guardhouse soothing after spending time in the tower. The ribald jokes between warriors, the clang and clatter of weapons-play outside, the laughter and murmur of conversations inside. In this world, she allowed herself to put aside some of the trappings of her position that required constant attention to political machinations and appearances.

At the guardhouse, she was _Heda_ , yes, but she was also a warrior, and she spoke the language that all warriors did, in the rigorous training, self-discipline, and comradeship of those called to the sword. Here, she was accepted as a fellow warrior, and Lexa appreciated that, appreciated the respite from the more formal trappings of her position when in the tower.

She spoke briefly with the wounded, pleased that there were no life-threatening injuries among them, though a few would require a little longer healing time than others. Once she had finished that, she spoke with Indra to arrange accompaniment for Roan out of Polis and for Izik in, when the latter arrived. Indra dispatched warriors to attend to Roan and went outside with Lexa to watch some of the weapons play between junior warriors. This, too, she enjoyed, because it allowed her to observe which among them showed exceptional promise.

“ _Heda_ ,” one of the trainers greeted her. He tossed her a staff and Indra looked at her, concerned.

“Just a few minutes,” Lexa said. “And not nearly enough to bring the wrath of Balta upon me.” She flashed her a quick smile and stepped into the space the trainees had cleared for her. All stood in a circle around her, watching, rapt.

“Any weapon you use must always be an extension of your body,” she said, holding the staff loosely in one hand. “Though you will no doubt find a weapon that you prefer above others, it is best to ensure that you are skilled with many, because circumstances may prevent you from having your favorites." She twirled the staff, gauging how stiff and sore she was, then moved quickly through a series of steps, parries, and thrusts, switching the staff from hand to hand before finishing with a flourish, holding the staff like a spear in front of her.

She tossed it back to the instructor. Her muscles felt a little less stiff after that, but the wounds in her thigh and biceps were protesting a bit. “Anything can be a weapon. That is why you must train your body and muscles to be able to act and react quickly. You must also train your mind, so that you are able to make quick, sound judgments in chaotic situations. Learn to observe. That will tell you far more than words.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” came the murmured responses.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” the instructor said.

Lexa nodded and returned to where Indra stood watching with two guards. She was smiling.

“What?” Lexa glanced at her before shifting her gaze back to the training.

“There is a difference in the air.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“They have always had respect for you, especially those who have fought alongside you. But today, there is something else. Pride, perhaps, that they serve such a leader as you.”

“Nothing’s changed.”

“Everything has changed, _Heda_ ,” Indra said. “I have seen the many facets of leadership that you display, and I am honored to serve. The pride I have in serving you comes because I have seen the many things you do and are capable of. Here among the warriors, however, they only see the warrior side of you, and many of the junior warriors have not fought alongside you. So they have respected you because they see how the more seasoned warriors react to you, and they see you when you train a bit with them.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, surprised because Indra rarely expounded like this.

“Many of these junior warriors did see you fight in the marketplace during the fires, and a very few brought the story back of your battle with Nia. They understand, now, why the older warriors are honored and proud to serve you. I see it in the eyes of the junior warriors, now. Before, it was respect and admiration. Now, it is something more. Something deeper.”

“Nia was but one woman,” Lexa said.

“Perhaps. But she was also a symbol.”

“And when a symbol falls, another takes its place until that one, too, falls. I do not wish to be a symbol for that reason.” She turned her gaze back to the training exercise.

“You are far more than a symbol. You are one who unites, one who encourages the best in people. That is much more than a mere symbol.”

Lexa didn’t respond for a while, the new weight of added responsibility settling on her shoulders. “I can only be who I am. I cannot be all things to all people.”

“You misunderstand, _Heda_. Your people are proud to serve you because you do not pretend to be something you are not. You do not seek to be anything but who and what you are, and people respond to that, too. They respond to the fact that you continue to train, that you continue to spend time with them, and offer guidance when you can. They respond to you because they see a leader who is not afraid to take up a sword when called to do so, who is not afraid to sully her hands with the blood of her enemies, and who comes the next day to check on the well-being of her warriors.”

Lexa half-smiled. “ _So tona telon_ , _plangona_. _Yu don led yu op_?” 9 she teased.

Indra was about to respond when a junior guard interrupted. “ _Heda_ , _Abi kom Skaikru komba raun_.” 10 She gestured toward the tower and both Lexa and Indra turned. Indeed, there was Abby with two warriors crossing the open area between the two structured.

“She wishes to inspect the wounded,” Lexa said with a nod at the guard, who turned and went to the guardhouse. “Which I prepared myself for earlier,” Lexa added dryly when the guard was out of earshot.

Indra’s lips curled into one of her scowls, though it was mild. “Does she know?”

Lexa knew what she was asking and she appreciated that she didn’t specifically mention Clarke or their relationship. “Probably.”

“How?”

“Do not mothers always know such things as this?”

Indra’s scowl deepened. “Has she said as much?”

“Not directly.” Lexa started walking toward the guardhouse entrance. “But she no doubt will push for more information.”

“And what does she plan to do with it?”

Lexa shot her a glance. “I think perhaps she approaches this as a mother rather than as a leader.”

“ _Heda_ —”

Lexa gave her a warning glance this time and Indra lapsed into silence as they arrived at the guardhouse entrance before Abby did and Lexa watched her as she drew closer, looking for signs of Clarke, she supposed. She found a few, in the determined stride Abby used and the set of her jaw. She seemed much larger than she actually was, and Lexa knew that was through the sheer force of her personality. Formidable indeed. But for Clarke, she would find some kind of common ground with her.

“Chancellor,” Lexa said by way of greeting when Abby was a few paces away. “I trust your quarters have been acceptable.”

“Commander,” Abby responded in kind. “They have. Thank you again.” She adjusted the bag on her shoulder that Lexa assumed held some of her medical supplies.

She nodded.

“I’ve come to have a look at the wounded here. I apologize if this is short notice. I told Balta to alert you.”

“She did, but I expected that you would like to visit with the wounded, regardless.”

Abby nodded. “Also, I hope you don’t mind, but Raven is currently investigating the floor that was bombed.”

“Not at all. Clarke had suggested she do so, but I appreciate your courtesy in alerting me.”

Abby’s expression registered surprise, as if she hadn’t expected that kind of response from her. “I’ll go back to the tower after I’m finished here,” she said, and it sounded like she was trying to fill space with her words. Though _Skaikru_ tended to talk more than Grounders, Lexa guessed this was Abby’s discomfort with dealing with her directly without Clarke as a buffer.

“Certainly. If you’d like, I’ll take you to the wounded here. Jef is the healer working with them today.”

“Please,” she said, and it sounded less tense.

“ _Heda_!” came a child’s shout and she turned as a small child barreled toward her at full speed. One of her guards started to step in front of her but she waved him off and quickly adjusted her stance so that her uninjured left leg would bear the brunt of the inevitable enthusiastic collision and indeed, a boy of about four crashed into her and locked his arms around her thigh. She quickly moved Clarke’s unsheathed knife from that side to the other side of her belt.

“ _Heya_ , _strikon_ ,” Lexa said with a smile as he stared up at her with a huge grin and adoration in his dark eyes. She ruffled his hair. “It has been a while since I saw you last,” she said in English, since he was learning it.

“I missed you.”

“And I you. So you escaped your lessons, did you?”

He made a face and Lexa laughed, something that clearly startled Abby.

“Lessons are never bad things,” she said as she leaned over, picked him up, and braced him on her left hip. He slid his arms around her neck, much to the amusement of the guards. “I have had many lessons,” she continued. “And I have them still.”

“But you’re _Heda_ ,” he said against her neck.

“Even _Heda_ can learn things. We never stop learning.”

He pulled back a little, one arm still around her neck, and stared into her eyes in that way children had, guileless but so very observant. “I was worried about you,” he said softly.

“Why is that?” she asked, her gaze never wavering from his.

“Mama Val said you had to fight Nia.”

“I did.”

“And you won.”

“I survived,” she gently corrected as she brushed a lock of his hair back from his face with her free hand. “Battles are not necessarily won or lost, _strikon._ They are survived or not, and their results cause other things, sometimes good, sometimes bad.”

He frowned, thinking about it. “Are you hurt?” he asked after a few moments.

“I did get injured.”

His eyes widened with concern. “ _Heda_ , _fisa souda chek yu au_.” 11

She chuckled and looked at Abby. “He would like a healer to examine me.”

Abby smiled, too. It relaxed her features and for a moment, Lexa caught a glimpse of Clarke in the flash of amusement in Abby’s eyes.

“I did, _strikon_ ,” Lexa said to Nik in English. “I am careful about such things.”

“Good. And I’m glad you’re back,” he said.

“I am, too. And we’re going to have a big festival in a few days.”

His face lit up. “We are? Because you’re back?”

She laughed again, aware that Abby was still staring at her. “We’re celebrating the end of _Maun-de_ and the uniting of all the clans.”

“And that you’re back,” he stated emphatically.

The guards grinned and even Indra smiled.

“If that is something you wish to celebrate, then you may.”

He wrapped both arms around her neck and hugged her again, his head on her shoulder. “I’m going to celebrate that,” he said, stumbling a little over the words. Indra seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

“Very well,” she said. “But right now, there is someone I would like you to meet.”

He loosened his hold again and his gaze immediately went to Abby, who smiled.

“ _Em laik heda Abi kom Skaikru_ ,”12 Lexa said, with a head bob at her. “Chancellor, this is _Nik kom Trikru_. One of his mothers is _Val kom Trikru_. She is one of my warriors.”

Nik gave her a polite nod. “ _Heda Abi_ ,” he said, “do you know _Wanheda_?”

Indra cleared her throat, fighting another laugh.

“I do,” Abby said. “ _Wanheda laik ai yongon_.” 13

Lexa raised her eyebrows, both pleased and surprised.

Nik’s eyes widened. “ _Yu laik Wanhedas nomon_?” 14

Uncertainty flashed in Abby’s eyes.

“He’s clarifying,” Lexa said, “that you are in fact Clarke’s mother.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Abby said to him, flashing Lexa a smile. “I am.”

“ _Teik ai hit Wanheda op_?” 15 he looked first at Abby then Lexa.

“I’m sure that you will soon meet _Wanheda_ ,” Lexa said in English, throwing a glance at Abby.

“Yes,” Abby said. “She’s in Polis, too.”

He grinned and hugged Lexa again.

“Nik,” a harried young man dressed in a robe similar to those Titus wore said as he approached. “Apologies, _Heda_. He heard you were back in Polis and it’s all he talked about this morning. I should have guessed he would have gone looking for you.”

Lexa lowered Nik to the ground, but he immediately took her hand. “ _Nou get yu daun_ ,” she said to the newcomer and then she squatted so she was at Nik’s eye level. “I am very glad to see you,” she said, “but you cannot leave your lessons like that. Ask first if you may. And if your instructors tell you no, you must respect that.”

He dropped his gaze.

“But it is all right to try to see me when you are not in lessons and you have completed all your chores. But you must always get permission first.”

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_ ,” he said in a soft voice.

“It is not me you should apologize to.”

He nodded, let go of her hand, and turned to the man who had just joined them. “ _Moba_ , _seda_ ,”16 sounding contrite.

The young man kept his expression stern, but from the twinkle in his eyes, it was difficult. “I will accept your apology, _Nik kom Trikru_. But you must also inform your parents about what you did today.”

Nik looked at Lexa.

“ _Seda_ speaks true,” she said. And then she leaned in, conspiratorial. “I will speak with them, too, to see when I can come visit you. And I’ll bring _Wanheda_.”

His face immediately lit up. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.”

She ruffled his hair again and straightened.

He nodded respectfully at Abby and the other adults and left with the teacher, throwing a couple more adoring gazes over his shoulder at her.

“Thank you, Chancellor, for indulging him,” Lexa said as she shifted one of Clarke’s knives back to her left hip.

“No trouble at all,” she said, expression thoughtful.

She nodded and motioned Abby to accompany her into the guardhouse. Jef approached when they entered the room where the wounded were. “ _Heda_ ,” he said. “Chancellor.”

“I was hoping that the Chancellor would be able to aid you in your work here, healer,” Lexa said and Jef smiled.

“Yes. I would appreciate that. _Mochof_.”

Abby turned to say something to Lexa when she was interrupted by Tam, who leaned in from the hallway.

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa turned. “ _Sha_.”

“Izik has arrived at the gates.”

Lexa exchanged a glance with Indra then looked at Abby. “My apologies, Chancellor. There is something I must attend to. If you require anything, Jef will be able to help you. I will see you later today, with Clarke.”

Abby nodded. “Thank you, Commander.”

Lexa left with Indra and went outside with Tam. “How many travel with him?”

“Five warriors and two who are Danyel’s family.”

“Bring them into the city and see to it that they are accompanied to the tower.”

“I will take care of it,” Indra said. “Where would you like to grant them audience?”

“The main chamber.”

Indra nodded in approval and went back inside. Two warriors joined Lexa and Tam seconds later.

“Alert Balta and Titus,” Lexa said to Tam. “I will need two counsel witnesses. Ferris and perhaps Gani. I will meet them at the tower entrance.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Ensure they have quarters prepared. Balta and Titus will know which floor is best.”

“ _Sha_.” She turned and walked briskly away and Lexa went back inside with the guards. Indra issued orders to several warriors then joined her.

“Watch them,” Lexa said. “Keep them removed from direct contact with the population. Say it is for their safety. And see if there is anyone in the city who takes an interest in them.”

She nodded. “My thoughts, as well.”

“No weapons and don’t let them get comfortable in the chamber.”

She nodded, smiled grimly, and left, a group of guards with her.

Lexa stood for a moment, thinking. The wound in her thigh was bothering her, but not enough to warrant resting. Her muscles were still sore and she knew she’d need to get some more sleep, but she almost smiled because the thought that Clarke might not let her get that sleep heated every part of her body. She had stopped fighting the feelings Clarke instilled in her, not only because she enjoyed them but also because she knew she was powerless when it came to Clarke, had known that she would always be powerless when it came to her, since the moment she first set foot in her tent.

She caught herself. Not powerless. No, Clarke didn’t take her power. Clarke enhanced it, made her feel stronger in some ways, made her think that there was nothing she couldn’t do, nothing she wouldn’t do. And there certainly wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Clarke, something she had known the first time Clarke’s eyes met hers.

“ _Heda_ ,” Wash said.

“ _Sha_.” She looked up at him, noting the bandage on his neck and the fresh cuts on his face. A healer had trimmed part of his beard on his cheek to expose one of the gashes and it looked slick with salve.

“Have you had anything to eat?” he asked.

She almost laughed. “I haven’t been out of my chambers _that_ long.”

He smiled. “Then perhaps some tea?”

“Fine.” She followed him into the area used as a kitchen, where a pot sat on a small stove. The room was hot from the heat it generated, no doubt from the coals within, since once the fire died down in the morning, it was tended just enough to maintain those.

Her guards took up a position outside the room. Wash poured himself a cup first and took a drink before he poured her a cup from the same pitcher, and Lexa was again reminded of her position here, and how in spite of everything, there was always a chance that there might be enemies among them. She held her cup but didn’t drink at first, as was custom when dealing with the potential for poison. Someone drank first and then there was a brief waiting period.

“You have most recently been in contact with Izik,” she said.

“ _Sha_. A few weeks back. I saw nothing that would indicate that his feelings toward you or the _kongeda_ have shifted to enmity. He wanted news then from Polis and expressed his support for what you have been trying to do.”

“It might have been an act.”

He nodded. “Perhaps. But Izik has never expressed anything beyond some skepticism of the _kongeda_. The same could be said for many of the clan leaders.”

That was true. “Do you recall whether there was anything being said among _Delfikru_ that may be tied to Danyel’s schemes? There were, after all, many others that Mykal named.”

“Danyel was careful, _Heda_. He knew I was coming and he would have alerted his fellows. They would have put on their best act.”

“The question remains, then, whether Izik knew what Danyel was about.”

“ _Sha_.”

She finally sipped, appreciating how strong warriors made their tea. “I want Izik watched. Even after what transpires here this day.”

“I have spoken with Titus and Indra. He is implementing a plan.”

She nodded and sipped again. Titus would place someone in _Delfikru_ , she knew. He would inform her later about the particulars.

“Izik risks his standing in the _kongeda_ if he does not carry out the punishment required for Danyel,” Wash said, staring into his cup. “If he supported him at all.”

“He risks his standing with the other clans individually as well if he does not.”

He looked up at her. “It would also be in defiance of you. I do not think he is willing to take that risk with you. Especially not now.”

She glanced at him over the rim of her cup.

“Your defeat of Nia has elevated your reputation, even among your detractors. And news of Roan’s wish to join the _kongeda_ is spreading, as well. It is because of you that Roan takes the throne of _Azgeda_. He owes you, and will be a strong ally. His entrance into the _kongeda_ changes dynamics, and Izik knows that. _Delfikru_ cannot win a war with you, given how you have strengthened the loyalties of your allies and weakened your detractors.” He poured more tea for himself and held the pitcher up for Lexa but she shook her head. He set it down. “People are also pleased about the final defeat of the mountain. Though you have credited _Skaikru_ , many are saying how wise you were to recruit them for that, given their knowledge of tech.”

She finished her tea and set the cup on the nearby table. “The same people probably criticized me for leaving _Skaikru_ at the mountain the first time, which is what Nia wanted them to do.”

He shrugged. “Some did. But what sometimes happens after an event like your battle with Nia is that suddenly, things become clear, as when you emerge from a forest and see a much larger landscape before you, and you can then see how things are related.”

“ _Tona noun_ , _gona_ ,”17 she said with a smile.

“Everything has changed, _Heda_. We will continue to watch the effects over the coming days. And they will prove helpful to you. There is a momentum, now, that I have seen with no other Commander.”

He was right, and she knew it, but the map had yet to be drawn, and this was territory none of them had traveled. For the first time, the clans had no common enemy in the _Maunon_ or even _Skaikru_ or _Azgeda_. What did that mean for warriors? For a people whose very existence was predicated on the ability and readiness to fight at all times?

“These are things I’m sure we will be discussing many times,” she said, since there was little point to trying to determine what course of action to take while other things needed to be tended to. Like her still uncertain relationship with _Skaikru_ , Clarke notwithstanding. And what might be going on at _Delfikru_. Once _Azgeda_ was confirmed into the _kongeda_ , then they could embark on building stronger trade networks and bring _Skaikru_ in. Arkadia needed to be able to survive the winter, and they needed to learn how. Abby as Chancellor would probably be all right for that. Clarke would know to use Kane, as well, for leverage in that regard.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Wash said. “But in all my years of service, I have never been more proud than I am now, serving _you_.”

“ _Mochof_ , _gona_.” She heard the sounds of several warriors in the hallway, their voices mingling with laughter and the creak of leather. A few entered the room and at the sight of her, they all stopped.

“ _Heda_ ,” they said on one accord, eyes wide.

She gave them a nod and motioned toward the pitcher of tea even as she stepped out of their way.

“ _Heda_ ,” Val said with a smile as she came in. She pulled her gloves off and tucked them into her belt. “I did not realize you were here.” She was sweat- and dirt-streaked, and the faint smell of horses lingered around her and the other warriors who had just arrived.

“What did you learn?” Lexa asked as one of the other warriors handed Val a cup of tea.

“ _Heda_ , would you like tea?” he asked.

“I have already indulged,” she responded with a quick smile.

He nodded and turned away.

Val sipped before she answered. “No one followed Izik from _Delfikru_. He came with seven. Five are warriors.”

“So Tam said when they arrived. Any news of _Azgeda_?”

“Only good. We saw no _Azgeda_ at yesterday’s battle site and none lurking around the city. I will check with Atlan and Darya on that account.”

She didn’t miss the mention of Darya. It spoke well of her that Val was comfortable working with her, an _Azgeda_ warrior. “Any _Azgeda_ potentially still loyal to Nia need to be flushed out,” Lexa said.

“I agree. I think Darya can be helpful in that regard.”

“Incorporate Gonin’s help, as well. Jos is on her way back to _Azgeda_ with Roan and will not return for a few days. But Gonin, I think, would like to feel useful.”

“It shall be done.”

“The _Skaikru_ Chancellor is tending to the wounded here at the guardhouse,” Lexa said. “If you or any of the scouts who went with you require someone to check any injuries, she and Jef can aid you.”

She nodded and sipped her tea.

“Also, when it is convenient, I believe Nik would like to see me.”

Val lowered the cup from her mouth, dread in her eyes. “What happened?”

“He’ll tell you,” she said with a smile.

“That child,” Val muttered. “Did he escape his lessons again and find you? It’s been a while since he did that.”

Lexa’s smile widened. “He is his mother’s son.”

She laughed. “That he is, _Heda_. That he is.”

“It’s not as if you and I never left our lessons early on more than one occasion.” Though Val was older by a few years, she and Lexa had shared a few lessons when much younger.

Val sipped her tea, still smiling. “Stories I have shared with Nomi when she is most exasperated with Nik. Fortunately, Reston is more like her.”

“But he is more than capable of keeping up with Nik if he wants to,” Lexa said, thinking about Nik’s younger brother.

“True. I hope, though, that Reston remains the less impulsive of the two. I think he’ll be another voice of reason for Nik.”

“As Nomi is a voice of reason for all of you,” Lexa said, and Val smiled.

“She is. I am very fortunate that she chose me.” Her features softened and Lexa recognized the expression in her eyes. It was the same one she knew she had when she thought about Clarke, though she hid it when not in private.

“Nik does miss you, _Heda_. The past few weeks you have been very busy, and I’ve told him that, but he asks about you almost every day.” She sighed. “But leaving his lessons again...Nomi will not be pleased. Even though I’m sure it’s because he heard something about what happened with Nia and he was worried about you and wanted to see for himself that you survived.”

“Do not be too hard on him. We spoke about his errors.”

“Apologies, _Heda_ , if he caused a disruption.”

“He did not. And I told him I would talk to you and Nomi to see if we could arrange a visit. I told him I’d bring _Wanheda_.”

Val laughed again. “Oh, that would be quite something. He’s been talking about her, too. He’s seen her a couple of times, from a distance, and he hears the stories about her and most likely he would like to tell all his friends that he has met her before they have.”

Clarke would no doubt be amused by that. “Regardless, perhaps in the next few days I can bring her to meet him, when he has finished his lessons and chores.”

“Does Clarke plan to stay in Polis until Roan returns, then?”

Lexa hesitated. “I am uncertain of her plans. I am meeting with her and the Chancellor later today and then I will know more.”

“If not, then during the festival, perhaps,” Val said. “Since she is the _Skaikru_ representative, she will no doubt be in Polis more often than not over the coming days.”

“Perhaps,” Lexa said noncommittally.

Val smiled. “I think it would be difficult for her to stay away,” she said in a low voice.

Lexa opted not to respond, hiding her reaction because even a mention of Clarke like that sent heat flooding through her veins.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, saving her any further comment from Val. “The _Delfikru_ visitors are in the audience chamber.”

She flicked a glance at Wash, who set his cup down and joined her.

“If the other scouts hear or see anything, alert me,” she said to Val.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa left with Wash, Tam, and several guards and went back to the tower. Already, late afternoon shadows fell across the plaza. She would ensure that food was part of the meeting later today with Clarke and Abby. She thought about Val’s questions as she walked. Would Clarke stay until Roan returned? Or would she go back to Arkadia? The latter seemed the most likely choice, and it was a thought that Lexa had been harboring for the past few hours. It was only a few days apart if Clarke decided to do that, but even a few days felt like weeks.

Which was ridiculous. She was _Heda_. She had many responsibilities.

But somehow, Clarke had become part of those, part of everything Lexa did and thought during each day, and she couldn’t separate her from the fabric of her existence now if she tried. But if Clarke wished to return to Arkadia for the next few days, so be it. She, too, had responsibilities.

I am greedy, Lexa thought as they neared the tower. Greedy for more Clarke, greedy for everything she was and everything she offered. Greedy for her smile, for her laugh, for the way she looked at her when the very air seemed to burst into flame between them. Greedy for her lips and hands and the warmth of her skin and slick of her desire, and the sounds she made in the slide of their bodies against each other, gazes locked, hearts pounding, emotions entwined as much as their limbs.

So greedy.

But whatever Clarke decided she would accept.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said at the entrance to the tower. “Do you require a coat?”

“No.”

Balta nodded, the hint of an approving smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. Appearances were important in certain circumstances, and the regalia of the Commander could lend an even greater air of initimidation. But she understood that the trappings of leadership were about more than clothing and weapons. Lexa didn’t need either to convey her role, and in some circumstances, she preferred to eschew the regalia because sometimes, it was important that she also be known as intimidating without it. This was such a time, and from Balta’s expression, she agreed.

Lexa inhaled, exhaled, and cleared her mind as she entered the tower.

Titus, Ferris, and Gani stood waiting for her near the lift and they nodded at her then got on with her, Balta, and four warriors. Wash took the stairs with several other warriors. No words were exchanged, and Lexa knew that Titus would already have briefed them.

The lift stopped and two guards preceded her off the lift. She followed them, the others behind her and as they walked down the corridor lined with her warriors, the guards walking on either side of her fell back a little so that she was the clear leader of this entourage.

The other guards bowed their heads as she passed, and those at the doors snapped to attention as she strode into the audience chamber, past the _Delfikru_ delegation that sat in seats near the dais. She ascended even as Titus peeled off from the entourage along with four guards and took positions on either side of her chair, Titus to her right.

She herself did not sit. Instead, she turned and allowed her gaze to fall on Izik, a broad, barrel-chested tree trunk of a man. His dark eyes were set like stones into the even darker skin of his face, lined and seamed with years and scars. He kept his beard and moustache trimmed close, and his long hair was piled on his head in a way that some male clansmen of _Delfikru_ wore it.

He had stood as she passed, as did the two warriors with him in the chamber and the older man and young woman Lexa presumed were Danyel’s family members. All were dressed for hard riding and still bore traces of their journey on their clothing. Indra would have ensured that Izik’s other warriors were in the corridor, and Lexa caught Indra’s eye briefly from where she stood near the door. Indra nodded and shut the doors. Satisfied, Lexa directed her full attention to Izik.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said and the others with him murmured the same.

“ _Izik kom Delfikru_ ,” she said. “I bid you welcome.” She took her seat. “And although these are not the best circumstances for your attendance, I appreciate the speed of your response.” She raised her hand in a quick gesture and Izik and his people sat down.

She let the weight of the moment settle then spoke again. “I have summoned you here because the treasonous actions of the _Delfikru_ clan representative have resulted in the deaths of two and injuries of several other people, including council members, here in the tower.”

Izik sat stone-faced.

“Those primarily responsible are _Danyel kom Delfikru_ and _Mykal kom Delfikru_ , both of whom expressed loyalty to _Haiplana Nia kom Azgeda_ in the wake of these actions, though Mykal appears to have regretted his role and revealed the names of several other _Delfikru_ who were involved in plots to install Nia into power as _Heda_.” Her tone was hard but devoid of emotion, which often served to unnerve those who dealt with her. She allowed her words to settle, too, before finishing with, “These are the facts as revealed during the course of our investigations. I would now hear your response.”

Izik stood, his expression troubled, and not of one who plotted against her, unless he was that talented at hiding his true emotions. “ _Heda_ ,” he said in a voice laced with pain, “I stand before you as not only leader of _Delfikru_ , but as a man who grieves the losses of other clans. I stand before you as a man who struggles to find answers where there aren’t any, because treachery is often only understood by those who enact it.”

Ferris glanced at her then back at Izik. His body language revealed nothing beyond his attention but she knew he was assessing Izik’s demeanor.

She waited for Izik to continue.

“I have discovered that Danyel is indeed _natrona_ , and that he poisoned several other minds in my clan against you and against me. Nia made promises to him and in his desire for greater power, he agreed to do her bidding. He allowed her to poison his mind as he did with others, against you and against the clans who support the _kongeda_.” He appeared momentarily shaken, as if voicing his thoughts aloud here before her made him truly feel the weight of them.

“And what decision have you reached?”

“Danyel’s treachery was an attack on you, _Heda_ , and a betrayal of all _Delfikru_ represents. He is responsible for the deaths of those who serve you and the clans. I have thus ordered his death.”

She did not visibly react, though Gani threw a glance at her.

“In the matter of Mykal, I would seek your guidance and the council’s. He is young and fell under the sway of Danyel, perhaps pressured all the more because Mykal’s father was Danyel’s brother, a good man and leader, a fine warrior, revered in the history of our clan. Danyel has already sullied the memory of this man, and I struggle with sullying it further with the execution of one of his sons. I think perhaps banishment may be a more appropriate punishment.”

And it would absolve him of responsibility for Mykal’s death. “I will call a council meeting tomorrow,” Lexa said, “and you will stand before them and voice your decision in their presence as well as in the presence of the accused. Since _Delfikru_ is a member of the _kongeda_ , any decisions rendered by the council will be considered final.” She left no room for argument. She was done with Danyel and his machinations and the only reason she hadn’t killed him herself was because she was allowing Izik a pretense of power.

It forced Izik to make the decision and carry out the punishment in accordance with custom. If Danyel did not die, _Delfikru_ would lose standing in the eyes of the other clans, especially because Lexa herself would then kill him, as he had attempted to assassinate her and other members of the council.

Izik stood to lose credibility if he let Danyel live, but Lexa could easily have taken it and undermined him if she chose to kill Danyel herself. She was granting him the opportunity to redeem _Delfikru_ , and he had chosen to take it.

Mykal was a different matter, and Izik had gained a bit of political capital by requesting the council consider the case. Whatever the council ruled with regard to Mykal, Izik could claim that he sought their guidance because he was torn about the fate of a young man led terribly astray, whose father had been a popular _Delfikru_ warrior and leader. He thus validated the council, Lexa, and ensured _Delfikru_ ’s continued position in the _kongeda_.

If he wasn’t genuine, he was wily. All the more reason to watch him.

“ _Heda_ , may I request that you grant audience now to _Liyon kom Delfikru_ , oldest brother to Danyel?” Izik gestured at the older man with him, whose hair and beard were almost completely gray.

“Speak.”

Liyon stood, his hands gnarled in the way of some warriors who lived long enough to carry the burdens of years of use and injury. “ _Heda_ ,” he said in a rough, reedy voice, “I come here with a heart made heavy because of the actions of my brother and nephew. I accept the punishment that Danyel will face and I and his other blood relatives will ensure that it is carried out.”

And she would ensure it, too, with witnesses.

He paused and sighed heavily. Izik shot him a quick, furtive glance, brows furrowed.

“ _Heda_ , I will not speak on behalf of my nephew, because though he may have allowed himself to be swayed, his actions killed and injured senselessly. He is not so young that he does not know the difference between right and wrong,”

Izik stared at him, deep set eyes seeming to retreat even farther into his skull, and Lexa guessed that Liyon’s words had caught him off guard.

“I have carried these thoughts since we left _Delfikru_ ,” Liyon said, and the sadness in his tone was thick enough to cut. “And I have decided that I cannot support anything but death for my nephew.”

Izik started to say something but Liyon stopped him.

“No, _heda_ ,” he said to him. “It is time we stopped pretending that Mykal is anything but lost, and he was lost even before his father died. My brother was a steady influence on him, and perhaps had he lived longer, Mykal would not have fallen so easily under another’s spell. I know that as much as it would pain his father were he still alive, he would accept this punishment as appropriate for the magnitude of his son’s actions.”

Izik’s jaw clenched. This was clearly not what he had expected Liyon to say. Titus’s eyes narrowed.

“I appreciate your honesty, _Liyon kom Delfikru_ ,” Lexa said. “And the weight of this decision will never be easy to bear.”

“It is the correct decision,” he said.

Izik stared straight ahead.

The woman with Liyon stood. “ _Heda_ , may I speak?” She looked to be a little older than Lexa, but her eyes held years no woman her age should yet know. She wore her reddish hair pulled back, fully exposing the lines of her face and the tattoo—a rising sun, perhaps?--on the right side of her forehead.

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Ai laik Freya kom Delfikru_. _Mykal laik ai bro_.” 18

Lexa nodded at her to proceed.

“Liyon speaks true, _Heda_. Though there are a few years between me and Mykal, he was always…difficult and he would often cause physical pain to others, usually through treachery. Our father was the only one who could reach him, but even his love wasn’t enough because Mykal never stopped causing pain. And he enjoyed it.”

Liyon gently squeezed her arm in support.

“He often lied,” Freya continued, “about everything. I never knew for certain whether what he said was true or not, and he caused many problems between clanmembers because he would lie and spread stories to see what trouble he could stir. I suppose he thought it gave him power, to do that. But many people were damaged by his lies and I felt that one day, his actions and words would exact a price. We tried to discipline him. And we tried, as my father did, to lead him by example. But nothing seemed to work.”

Izik had hooked his thumbs on his belt but his fingers tightened on the worn leather.

Freya regarded her, gaze steady. “I want the council to understand that what Mykal did is not an aberration for him. He is young, yes, but he has never been stupid nor has he ever been easily swayed.”

Lexa regarded her, both hands resting on the arms of her chair. “Are you suggesting, _Freya kom Delfikru_ , that your brother may still be engaging in treachery even now?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I am. I know that he has provided you the names of other _Delfikru_ who he claims were involved with Danyel’s plot, but I would wager that all of them are those with whom he feels he has been personally slighted and had nothing to do with what happened here.”

Lexa regarded her for a long moment. “Did you discuss these thoughts with others?”

“My other brother and Liyon. Perhaps a few others beyond them.” She avoided looking at Izik and Lexa knew from her body language that she had at least brought it up with him, but he had clearly done nothing about it.

“And your thoughts, Liyon, on what Freya has shared?” Lexa asked.

“She speaks truth, _Heda_ ,” he said, and he sounded suddenly as old as he looked. “Mykal has caused many problems in _Delfikru_ , and though most of us learned to ignore his lies, he still manages to cause damage. He collects secrets, and uses them against others.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “And what were the results of his actions?”

“Strife,” Freya said. “Disruptions among friends and allies.”

Which meant there were many more problems with _Delfikru_ than she had thought. Lexa shifted her gaze. “And you, _heda Izik kom Delfikru_. Were you aware of Mykal’s reputation?”

He hesitated a breath before he responded. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He started to say something more but she cut him off with a wave and looked at Freya.

“Do you, also, speak as a representative of your family?”

“I do.”

“What are your thoughts regarding punishment?”

“ _Heda_ , I accept the decision regarding Danyel. In the matter of my brother, I stand with Liyon.” Her voice was thick with emotion and she clamped her mouth shut.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said. “I know the weight of your decision is painful.”

Freya dropped her gaze and her shoulders slumped.

“But your decision and that of Liyon must be witnessed before the council, and both Danyel and Mykal will be granted the right to hear it.” She paused, letting that pronouncement hang in the air.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” both Freya and Liyon said, voices strained.

“This will occur tomorrow after first light.”

Both nodded.

“Very well. I would now speak further with _heda Izik kom Delfikru_.”

Indra moved closer to Freya and Liyon as they nodded respectfully at Lexa then joined Indra and another _Trikru_ warrior. She took them to the doors and the guard escorted them into the corridor beyond. Indra closed the doors again and Lexa regarded Izik, drawing out the silence in the room until she saw a bead of sweat at his hairline. At that point, she spoke.

“Tell me, _Izik kom Delfikru_ , why you did not heed the warnings of Mykal’s family regarding his treachery.”

He cleared his throat. “ _Heda_ , Mykal’s father was like a brother to me.”

She waited.

“He knew Mykal could create problems, but he hoped that he would mature. Some children simply require a steady hand on the reins.”

“Which clearly did not work in this case.”

“His father died—”

“Which means the responsibility for the one rests with the whole, does it not?”

He licked his lips and stared at the dais. The warriors with him all seemed to take a great interest in their own hands. Perhaps Izik was not favored among his clansmen.

“Mykal had other family,” she said, “whether blood-tied or not. A clan is also family. Were there no consequences put on Mykal for his behavior?”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said, relenting. “And no matter how harsh, they only seemed to feed whatever it was within him that sought to lash out.”

She studied him for a few beats. “How is it that one so young was able to sow such discord among your fellows?”

“That I do not know.”

His guards stared straight ahead, unmoving.

She leaned forward a little, for emphasis. “This tells me one of two things,” she said, tone flat. “That either one person has so much power that he was truly able to undermine _Delfikru_ simply by trafficking in secrets and cruelty or that there is a lack of guidance among your people, who allowed such to happen. One person with a talent for cruelty can accomplish much in the absence of steady leadership.”

Her meaning was clear and he paled. One of his guards might have nodded, a barely perceptible movement of his head.

“Regardless, _Delfikru_ has been undermined, because a _natrona_ was selected for the clan council and you apparently do not know the extent of the network he created.”

He didn’t respond.

“Am I to guess, then, that when Danyel brought Mykal even closer into his life that there was relief in _Delfikru_ because Mykal was then more focused on his uncle then on creating difficulties for others?” She leaned back slightly and stared down at him.

Izik nodded.

“ _Heda_ , may I speak?” Gani asked.

“ _Sha_ , _Gani kom Podakru_.”

“It appears that _Mykal kom Delfikru_ is more problematic than we guessed. It seems, though, that for a while his father had a positive impact on him so perhaps this is why it was easier to think that perhaps Danyel might be having such an impact on him.”

Izik seemed to be thanking her with his gaze.

“Though it is troublesome,” Gani said, “that one person managed to undermine so much. I am concerned, as _Heda_ said, that there may be deeper issues among _Delfikru_.”

“ _Heda_ , if I may?” Ferris’s baritone rumbled across the dais.

“ _Sha_ , _Ferris kom Trishana_.”

“ _Izik kom Delfikru_ did respond quickly once alerted to what Danyel and Mykal had done. And he has called for the execution of Danyel. It remains to be seen tomorrow whether or not Mykal will share that punishment. I, too, am concerned about the networks Danyel and Mykal may have created, and the extent of discord. I would ask you, Izik, how it is that you do not seem to be aware of Danyel’s activities. Did you not question him about his duties and activities while he served on the council?”

“Yes, of course,” Izik said, a little too quickly.

Lexa kept her expression blank, but Titus flicked her a glance. He didn’t believe him, either.

Ferris frowned. “So Danyel was that skilled at subterfuge that you felt no need to question anything he said?”

“No. He is the brother of a man I loved and respected.”

“And it appears Danyel manipulated these feelings to ensure that you never questioned him or Mykal.” Ferris’s voice seemed to roll like thunder through the room, fading as it moved overhead.

Izik clamped his mouth shut and the warriors with him continued to stare straight ahead.

“It appears there are many things to examine,” Lexa said. “But we will not solve the problems of _Delfikru_ this night.”

Ferris and Gani murmured their agreement.

“My guards will escort you and your warriors to your quarters,” she said to Izik. “I am sure you are tired from your journey.” She paused. “The council gathers after first light.”

He nodded once, and she knew she didn’t have to clarify that he was under watch. He moved stiffly toward the door, warriors with him. Indra followed them into the corridor then returned a few moments later. She closed the doors and Titus spoke first.

“It appears, _Heda_ , that all is not as it seems at _Delfikru_.” He clasped his hands behind his back and his brow furrowed.

“Mmm.” She stood and her muscles complained with her movements. “We will need to question those Mykal named again, after the council makes its decision regarding his punishment.”

“It appears we may need a watcher,” Indra said.

Lexa pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips. “This is a matter of some delicacy. Izik will expect such.”

“He will expect some things, _Heda_ ,” Titus said. “But not others.”

She nodded. “And we will discuss what those are another time.” She looked at Indra. “I want all of the _Delfikru_ contingent monitored while they are here. And when they leave.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“There may be opportunities for information from the warriors Izik brought,” she said.

“I think perhaps there are,” Ferris said. “It appears that Izik may not be the leader he wishes all to think he is.”

“Perhaps Danyel’s plotting has created an opportunity.”

Lexa looked at Gani.

“Now that Danyel and Mykal have been exposed, Izik cannot use them to deflect from other weaknesses.”

She had harbored the same thought. “And we will exploit what we can. Izik appears to be a weak link. I want to know how weak and how much of the _Delfikru_ chain is affected.”

“And if the problem extends beyond _Delfikru_ ,” Ferris said.

She was prepared for that. Nia’s death gave her political capital and she intended to use it. Like any weapon, if applied judiciously and with skill, she could render an enemy utterly ineffective without having to strike a mortal blow. And Lexa was very, very good with weapons.

“Is there anything further that needs to be discussed at this moment?” she asked.

No one responded.

“Then this gathering is concluded.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” came the responses and Gani and Ferris left.

“ _Heda_ , if I am not needed further, I will see to our visitors,” Indra said. She meant _Delfikru_ , and Lexa nodded in agreement and dismissal.

Lexa turned to Balta. “Please prepare the smaller meeting room and fetch Clarke and the Chancellor.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. Will you require a meal?”

Lexa glanced behind her, out the windows. Twilight encroached on the fading afternoon light. “It appears so,” she said with a quick smile. “ _Mochof_.”

Balta nodded and left.

Titus waited until Balta had closed the doors before he spoke. “ _Heda_ , a word?”

She motioned him toward the balcony, feeling exhaustion again creeping into her limbs as the events of the past few days stubbornly clung to her bones and muscles.

He preceded her and stood staring out over the city, hands still clasped behind his back. She joined him, and breathed in the cool air and faint smell of woodsmoke. Below, the sounds of laughter and celebratory shouting echoed over the city.

“I think perhaps we may be able to use at least one of the _Delfikru_ Mykal revealed to us as a watcher,” he said after a few moments.

“I had a similar thought. Presumably, you have identified at least one.”

“ _Sha_. There is discontent among many _Delfikru_ ”

“With good reason, it appears.” She idly ran her fingers along the hilt of one of Clarke’s knives.

“It may be a relatively easy matter to encourage one to provide information to us.”

“Especially if what Freya revealed is true, about Mykal’s machinations. Danyel may have used Mykal’s talents—” she injected a bit of sarcasm into the word, “to his advantage.”

Titus grunted softly in agreement. “I will keep you apprised.”

She nodded. He always did. But he wanted to say something more because he cleared his throat softly and rocked forward slightly onto this toes, then back. She waited.

“Izik concerns me.”

“I as well. Which is why this situation is a priority, as _Azgeda_ was after Costia’s death.” The words didn’t sting as they had in the past, saying them out loud and Titus looked at her, gaze piercing.

“And I want Hamza watched.”

He relaxed. “I was hoping you did.”

“He and Danyel were close. There is reason to think that Hamza knows more than he reveals. He may decide to keep his own counsel, but Danyel’s death may force him out of the shadows.”

“It was wise, sending him to _Azgeda_.” Titus gazed out over the city. “I thought at first it was to ensure that Atlan could observe him and to force him to represent the _kongeda_ , but I suspect there was more to your decision.” He threw her an expectant glance.

“It was merely excellent timing that Hamza left before Izik arrived.”

“And Hamza will not be present at the council meeting tomorrow.”

“Interesting,” Lexa said, injecting innocence into her tone. “Most excellent timing indeed, was it not? And yet there are still enough representatives present to hear the statements.”

He nodded in approval. “You continue to surprise me, _Heda_ ,” he said, and she thought she saw a smile almost crack his usual façade.

“ _That_ is surprising. Given how long you have known me,” she teased.

“In some ways, I do. But in others…” he lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “It seems many times you have already anticipated a thought or an action.”

“I learned that from you.” She leaned on the railing, enjoying the quiet settling of evening over the city.

“I think I merely helped inspire skills you already had,” he said.

Lexa raised her face to the breeze. Autumn was definitely closing in, and it made her think of Clarke, because surely she would want to spend a lot of it at Arkadia, ensuring that _Skaikru_ was prepared. Not a thought she liked, but it was a reality she was prepared to accept.

“I am pleased that you have called for a festival,” Titus said and she looked at him, wondering at the change in topic.

“It seems timely.” She looked at him.

“And wise. But I suspect _Heda_ knows that already.”

“Perhaps,” she said. “A festival provides many opportunities to observe certain things, after all.”

“And so it shall be.”

She didn’t respond. She knew that he understood she wanted clan leaders and council members watched to determine who they spoke with and who they seemed closest to. Festivals loosened tongues, and Titus would take advantage of that.

“And _Skaikru_?” he asked after a few moments.

She locked her gaze to his, waiting.

“Are they to be observed?” There might have been a challenge in his tone. She answered with one of her own.

“More than you already are?”

His jaw muscles tightened.

“You would be remiss as my advisor and as _Fleimkepa_ if you were not watching _Skaikru_ ,” she said. “So I doubt your question has anything to do with what is already one of your standard practices.”

He cleared his throat and glanced toward the city then back at her. “I am uncertain that it is wise for you to be close to _Skaikru_.”

Or rather, one _Skaikru_ in particular, she finished silently. “I believe you also thought it unwise to be close to _Azgeda_.”

“ _Skaikru_ _ste noseim_. _Emo_ _nou laik_ _Kyongedon_.” 19

“ _Nou nau_. _Ba emo na fig au krunes_ , _o emo na nou kik thru_.” 20

He frowned.

“We may call them _Skaikru_ , but they are no longer in the sky. They are tied to the ground, now, and here, we have an advantage.”

“They are more like the _Maunon_ than us.”

“The mountain is no longer a threat, nor can it be used as a haven for those among them who may feel a closer tie to that kind of life, with its tech and isolation,” she countered.

He held her gaze. “They are not like us, _Heda_ ,” he repeated.

“Not yet. Becca wasn’t like us, either, when she came to the ground. There are ties between ground and sky that none of us truly understands. But they are here now, so we must learn who they are.”

“I fear they will seek a more powerful role, as Nia wished to do with _Azgeda_.”

“They existed on their Ark for many years, in a _kongeda_ of their own, with different clans of their own, and a system to ensure leadership.” She gave him a hard stare. “As part of the _kongeda_ , they are, in a way, mimicking something that is familiar to them. And now they are here, among us. That we cannot change. So what we must do is learn about them.”

“And if they challenge you?”

“Then I will deal with the situation as I have already dealt with similar instances.” She maintained her patience, because she wanted to give him room to express his misgivings, and hopefully to give him room to allow the expansion of his viewpoint.

“And Clarke?”

That tested her patience, and she paused a moment before responding. “What about her?”

“If _Skaikru_ challenges you, it means that it will also be a challenge from Clarke.”

A thought she hated. “Perhaps. Or it could be a challenge from someone at _Skaikru_ who we do not know.”

He frowned again.

“We have no evidence on which to base this assumption, though I understand your concerns.”

“Do you, _Heda_?” His tone was soft, but cutting.

Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. “Speak your mind on this matter now, _Fleimkepa_. I may not offer the opportunity again.”

That surprised him. He clasped his hands in front, at his waist, and looked at her, worry in his eyes. “I do not involve myself in certain matters, but it seems you and Clarke have become much closer than perhaps is wise.”

It was almost a relief to have it out in the open with him. “What are your concerns?”

That, too, surprised him, probably because she didn’t deny it. There was no point in doing so. He already knew, and he deflated a little, as if he had been preparing for a larger battle. “She is _Skaikru_ , a clan we do not know much about. They have acted with hostility toward us and there are those among them who remain hostile, as the latest incident at the mountain demonstrated. Their leadership is weak, that it cannot ensure the unity of its people.”

“Mmm. Like _Delfikru_?”

He dropped his gaze.

“Every clan has had its share of poor leadership and disaffected people. You served a Commander before me who had the same problem in his own clan.” She hooked her thumbs on her belt. “Every clan may suffer from bad leadership. It is not simply a _Skaikru_ problem. What else concerns you?”

“She is not _Kyongedon_.”

“She seeks to learn _krunes_ because she understands that in order to survive on the ground, _Skaikru_ needs to change, and needs to learn our ways.”

“It is dangerous for a Commander to be too close to someone,” he said, trying another tack.

“I know.”

He blinked, surprised that she acknowledged it. “Then why do you insist on endangering yourself again, after what happened to Costia?” He seemed to brace for her reaction, because Costia had always been a sore topic between them.

“Nia is dead. She can no longer hurt me or the _kongeda_. And Clarke is a leader among her people, which means if someone attempts to do to her what Nia did to Costia, it is war with _Skaikru_ as well as with me. And because _Skaikru_ is part of the _kongeda_ , attacking a leader of another clan will bring repercussions from the other clans. I am not untested now. Nia took advantage of many things when she tore Costia from me. Things are different now, as I am different.”

He sighed. “She is an outsider, _Heda_.”

“You forget she is _Wanheda_.” And that would always carry weight among the clans, because Clarke had gone into the mountain twice, and ensured that it could no longer be used.

Silence fell between them and Titus once again looked out over the city, his hands still clasped in front of him.

“You are _Heda_ ,” he said after a while. “And matters of the heart must be decided by the head.”

“I am more than capable of separating feelings from duty, _Fleimkepa_. And I am also human, and a leader who does not or cannot love is no leader at all.” She, too, stared out over the city. “Are you concerned because I am _Heda_ or because Clarke is _Skaikru_?”

“Both.”

“If Clarke was not _Skaikru_ , would you have the same concerns?”

He was silent for many moments. “Perhaps not,” he finally admitted. “But I say that because the other clans may not approve of the relationship you have with her for the same reason. _Skaikru_ are not _Kyongedon_. I seek to prevent difficulties for you and for what you are trying to do.”

“All thoughts I have had.”

“Then why do you continue with this relationship?” He turned to look at her, frustration in his eyes.

“Because I want to.”

He stared at her, taken aback. “I don’t know how long I can ensure that it is kept secret.”

“At this point, it may be an open secret,” she said, tone wry. “Though we’re not intending to make it obvious.”

He looked like he had eaten something sour and she almost laughed, despite the tension.

“Other Commanders have had relationships,” she said.

“Nothing permanent.”

She raised an eyebrow, skeptical, and he relented.

“Yes, there have been a few who maintained longer-term relationships, but it isn’t common.”

“But it has been done,” she pushed.

He sighed. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_. It has.”

“And the results?”

“The relationships were mostly accepted,” he admitted. “But that was different.”

“Everything is different now, Titus,” she said as she crossed her arms. “The _Maunon_ are no more, Nia is dead, and newcomers from the sky are now part of the _kongeda_. Old ways may work for old times, but these are not those times and we must be willing to make changes to accommodate whatever the future holds, because no longer can we completely rely on tradition or traditional enemies as a map to guide our strategies.”

He released his breath in a long exhale, a sign that he had no counterpoint to that. “I only seek to ensure that you are safe,” he said, and it was almost plaintive.

“I know. But we must all be amenable to thinking about things differently, and we must entertain perspectives that aren’t ours as we forge stronger ties with each other, in order to ensure the security and livelihoods of all the clans. And that takes a diplomat’s touch as well as a warrior’s. I plan to use both.”

He regarded her. “Once again, you have surprised me this day, _Heda_.”

“Several times, it seems,” she said, and she smiled.

He nodded, and she caught the hint of an answering smile at the corners of his mouth. “ _Sha_.”

“And though things are changing around us, it does not diminish the need for observation and information gathering. It seems there is an even greater need for that, now, as we determine new and shifting channels of influence among the clans and watch for signs of trouble.”

He nodded again, a smile in his eyes though not on his lips. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He paused, and looked at her as if he wasn’t sure how to phrase what he wanted to say next.

“Clarke and I will continue to be discreet,” she said, anticipating his statement. “But eventually, it will become known.”

He nodded. “We can begin to put some safeguards in place about how to respond to rumors. May I consult with Balta and Indra and then might we have another conversation about this?”

“ _Sha_ , _Fleimkepa_. But right now I must prepare for a conversation with the Chancellor of _Skaikru_ and Clarke. Is there anything further?”

“No, _Heda_. _Mochof_.”

She nodded in dismissal and he left her to her thoughts on the balcony where the day’s light still lingered. Titus still had misgivings, she knew, but his loyalty had never wavered. She felt lighter, actually, acknowledging the relationship that she and Clarke were building, and it felt like the one sure thing in the swirl of change that encompassed them all, the one sure thing that could keep her anchored as they steered into an uncertain future. Lexa gazed out over the city and took several deep breaths, allowing herself some time to relax.

Soon, she would have to navigate the perpetually stormy waters between two formidable women, one of whom held her heart and the other of whom was convinced she had none.

Stormy waters, indeed.

  
9 _So tona telon_ , _plangona_. _Yu don led yu op_? So* many words, warrior. Did you hurt yourself? [there doesn’t appear to be an equivalent in Peterson for “so” as it’s used in English, so I just adopted “so,” since “no” was adopted, too.]  
10 _Abi kom Skaikru komba raun_ : Abby of/from _Skaikru_ is approaching  
11 _Heda_ , _fisa souda chek yu au_ : _Heda_ , a healer should check on you  
12 _Em laik heda Abi kom Skaikru_ : She [this] is _heda_ [generic leader] Abby of/from _Skaikru_ [you’ve seen this consruction many times, but in case you forgot, here it is again.]  
13 _Wanheda laik ai yongon_ : _Wanheda_ is my child [there’s no term for “daughter” in Peterson, though there is one for son. Hmmm. Perhaps I’ll develop one for “daughter.”]  
14 _Yu laik Wanhedas nomon_? You are Wanheda’s mother?  
15 _Teik ai hit Wanheda op_? Can I meet _Wanheda_? [“teik op” is the verb for “to let/allow” but when asking permission, as here, the verb tends to drop the first “op” since the second verb here, “hit op” incorporated the “op” satellite, as well. “Hit op” is “to meet”]  
16 _Moba_ , _seda_ : apologies/sorry, teacher  
17 _Tona noun, gona_ : Much wisdom, warrior  
18 _Ai laik Freya kom Delfikru_. _Mykal laik ai bro_ : I am Freya of/from _Delfikru_. Mykal is my brother.  
19 _Skaikru_ _ste noseim_. _Emo_ _nou laik_ _Kyongedon_ : _Skaikru_ is different. They are not Grounders.  
20 _Nou nau_. _Ba emo na fig au krunes_ , _o* emo na nou kik thru_ : Not now. But they will learn Grounder life [“kru life”] or they will not survive.” [Peterson doesn’t appear to have a term for “or” as we think of it; I adopted “o” as “or”]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! So I decided to break up what was going to be a super-long installment and just tack on an extra chapter, as you'll see. We're going for 71 chapters, now, instead of 70. It's all good.
> 
> So what did you think of Lexa's little fanboy? I had so many awwwww moments while I was writing that scene...I hope you did, too. And how about the talk with Titus? The Clexa secret may be getting out, but Lexa's all, "things are changing, things are different, and dammit, I want this." You go, Heda. You GO.
> 
> Anyway, I'll have an installment most likely next week; things don't look so cray for me at the moment. WHEW. And after that, the last one probably will be ready toward the end of August. I'll keep everyone posted.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's been joining me on this journey, whether from the beginning or whether you stumbled on in after. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the kudos and the comments. I've learned a lot and I've had a blast doing this. I'll be taking a break once it's done, but then I'll probably start another tale spinning off this one. I deliberately left some subplots not quite wrapped up to play with. WOOO! Oh, you can find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com). You can ask me anything over there. Muah ha ha...
> 
> Songs that accompanied me in the writing of this long-ass chapter: Hedegaard, "Go Back": The All-American Rejects, "Close Your Eyes"; X Ambassadors, "The Devil You Know"; Janelle Kroll and Tyzo Bloom, "24 Hours" (Tyzo Bloom remix);


	70. Politics Can Be Personal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a lot to do with the rest of the day. She helps Raven and crew on the floor where the bombings occurred. Then she goes to talk to Jax and then she has the meeting with Lexa and Abby before she finally gets some time with Lexa.

Clarke stared at the handful of wires and rubble in Raven’s hand but she had no idea what they signified. Her expression must have been obvious because Raven grinned.

“This is another part of one of the bombs. He had them on a timer and not a trigger, so he planted them and then got out. One was in a basket, it looks like, that was sitting outside one of the rooms.”

“Possibly for clothing,” Clarke surmised.

“Okay. The other, I think, was in a clay pot, probably also outside that door.” She pointed at a doorway to Clarke’s left. The blast had enlarged it on one side.

“Meal dishes, most likely.”

“Makes sense. How often are those picked up?”

“It depends. The bomber knew the schedules, though, because he was working as a servant for one of the council members. There was about thirty minutes between blasts,” Clarke said. “We figured it was to get people onto this floor and take more out with the second blast.”

“Sounds about right. Probably wanted Lexa on the floor, too,” she said as she poked at the wires with a screwdriver.

Clarke’s gut clenched. “Yeah,” she managed. “We figured that, too.”

“So it was a terrorist attack but also an assassination attempt. And from the looks of these, somebody with minimal knowledge of bombs could place it somewhere and then flip a switch for the timer. My guess is, Emerson set it all up and provided instructions to the user.”

Clarke stared at the wires. Something occurred to her. “Could bombs like this be made at Arkadia? Besides by you.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” Raven said with an eyeroll. “And yes. These are easy if you know what you’re doing—” she stopped and frowned. “Wait. Why would someone at Arkadia make these?”

“I don’t know. Pike or Sanders, maybe? They must have come into contact with Nia at the mountain and maybe they had already made bombs and they figured they could use them and her.” She leaned back against the wall to take some weight off her knee.

“But why would they want to take Lexa or any of the council members out? They didn’t even really know them.”

“Sanders knew Lexa is Commander, and she has a lot of power over the clans. Maybe he wanted to destabilize everything while Nia tried to install herself.” She grimaced. “Just theorizing out loud.”

“About what?” Bellamy asked as he approached from the other end of the debris-strewn corridor. They’d been poking around here for what seemed like hours and Clarke was tired and her muscles were still stiff and sore.

“Who made the bombs and for what purpose,” Raven responded. “It’s possible they might have been made at Arkadia. There is lots of debris still from the Ark. It would take some scavenging to get materials like these, but it’s possible.”

“Why would anybody at Arkadia make bombs to plant in Polis? Hardly anybody at Arkadia even knows where Polis is.” He frowned and gingerly touched one of the wires Raven had in her hand.

“I don’t know,” Clarke repeated. “Maybe they weren’t for Polis at all. Maybe they were for something else but then whoever made them saw an opportunity to use them for something even bigger when Nia showed up wanting to get rid of Lexa. Raven said it would’ve been easy to place them and flip the switch.”

Bellamy glanced at Raven for confirmation and she nodded. “Yeah. Even if you had no knowledge of how it worked, all somebody would have to do is show you the switch and explain how to plant it and boom. You’re done. Literally.”

“So they’re relatively foolproof?” Clarke asked. “I mean, they’re not going to explode if you’re carrying them around?”

“Ideally, no. I mean, you have to be careful with explosives no matter what, but from what I’m seeing here, they weren’t pressure sensitive. I don’t know if there was a kill switch for the timer – and we might never know – but there might’ve been, in case the timer accidentally got tripped.”

“I’m still stuck on why somebody at Arkadia would make bombs. Besides Raven or maybe Sinclair.” Bellamy flashed Raven a quick smile.

“Look, it’s possible,” she said and she poked again at the wires with her screwdriver. “Sure, I’m the de facto bomb-obsessed Arkadia rep, but that doesn’t make me the only one there with this kind of knowledge. But the question still remains why anybody at Arkadia would want to do it.”

“Pike or Sanders,” Clarke said again. “They’re not fans of Grounders and maybe they saw an opportunity with Nia wanting to kill Lexa. After all, if Lexa’s gone, then the _kongeda_ probably doesn’t last and it destabilizes the clans. I can see Pike or Sanders thinking that would be a good idea while they set up in the mountain.”

“But Emerson had missiles,” Bellamy countered. “Pike and Sanders would’ve been okay, probably, with Emerson blowing Polis off the map.”

He was right. “Well, maybe Emerson wasn’t letting them have any say in anything. From what we heard when we went in the second time, it didn’t seem Emerson was all that popular with the Arkadia contingent. Though Sanders helped him toward the end.”

Bellamy shrugged. “We might never know. Sanders is probably dead and who the hell knows where Pike is. He might be dead, too.”

“Maybe.” Clarke looked past him at Lora and Jasper, who were helping clear some of the debris by filling big baskets that were then lowered out the windows of various rooms to the ground below. Michi was working with Sam and Harper doing the same thing. “Anybody checked on Jax recently?” she asked.

“No. I’ll go.” Bellamy left and Raven put the wires and screwdriver into her pack.

“So what’s going on with you two?” she asked and Clarke looked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I know he’s not a fan of Lexa’s, but it seems things are a little tense.”

“He’s suspicious of her motivations. And of mine where she’s concerned.”

Raven leaned against the wall with her. “Look, I don’t know Lexa very well, either. But it seems to me she’s done right by you and the rest of us over the past few weeks. Whether she has an ulterior motive or not I couldn’t tell you, but you’re fairly close to her, so I’m guessing you’d let us know if she did.”

She didn’t respond and instead leaned down and rubbed her sore knee.

“Gina likes her.”

“So she said.”

“Gina’s pretty good at reading people.”

“And?”

Raven shrugged. “Gina can convince Bellamy. She has ways of making people listen to her.”

Clarke laughed. “Oh, I’ll bet.” She gave her a pointed look and Raven flushed. “And how are things going in that department?”

“Shut up, Griffin,” she said, but Clarke knew she didn’t mean it.

“What?” she asked, tone innocent. “It’s just a question.”

“Yeah, and I believe we were discussing you and Bellamy before you asked it.”

“Hey, you’re the one who brought up Gina.”

Raven flushed again. “Fine. I’m just saying that she can probably smooth some things over with him where Lexa’s concerned.”

“I don’t need people playing mediator.” It came out harsher than she intended, from Raven’s expression. “I mean, not right now. Bellamy and I go through this sometimes. We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I know you do. But he’s really got an issue with Lexa.”

Clarke looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Sort of like when he found out about Octavia and Lincoln. He had issues with Lincoln, too. At first. He’s better, now, but you remember how he was.”

“We all fucked that up,” she said softly. “What we did to Lincoln. And even Murphy before that.”

“We were basically at war,” Raven shot back. “And not because we wanted to be.”

Clarke continued rubbing her knee. Excuses didn’t absolve them of responsibility and she wondered if there was enough penance in the world for her to do. She doubted it.

“Finn was dying, when Bellamy brought Lincoln in,” Raven said. “We were trying to save one of our own. And Finn did try to work with the Grounders after that.”

Until he lost his shit, Clarke imagined her saying. Until he killed villagers, Murphy with him and not really trying to stop him. Of all the people she saw going that route, Finn never entered her mind as one. Until he did.

“I realized later, after Finn…” Raven cleared her throat. “After he died, that you did him a favor.”

“I know you did.” She straightened. “Lexa allowed it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked if I could say goodbye and she let me get close to him. I think she knew what I was going to do and I thought, afterward, that she wanted me to suffer, knowing that I was the one who killed him. And maybe there was a little of that at the time, but it was also about letting me give him peace and saving him from a lot of pain.”

“Did she tell you that?”

Clarke shook her head. “She didn’t need to.”

Raven didn’t say anything for a while and Clarke was glad. She didn’t want to have another charged conversation after the one she’d had with Bellamy.

“You and Lexa have some kind of weird bond,” Raven said.

Clarke shrugged and started rubbing her knee again. She didn’t want to talk about this, either, with her.

“Seriously. It’s like you’re operating on a whole different plane, communicating with your own language.” She leaned closer and smirked. “You should hook up with her.”

“What?” Clarke jerked her head up, and heat raced up her neck and across her cheeks, too late for her to avoid Raven seeing her reaction.

“Oh, I see it has already crossed your mind.” Raven’s smirk widened to a wicked grin.

“Why would you think that?” She struggled to keep her voice even, but she knew it wasn’t working.

“Oh, please, Griffin. Have you seen her? Wait—yes. Yes, you have. And I’ve seen how you look at her sometimes.”

“What are you even talking about?” She rubbed her knee harder, wishing Bellamy would hurry up.

Raven leaned even closer. “And I’m betting she would not say no if you asked.”

“You do realize you’re talking about the Commander of the clans.”

“Whatever. You’re _Wanheda_ , badass of _Skaikru_. It would be a perfect match. Though your mom probably wouldn’t be into it. Or Bellamy. At first. They’d come around.”

“All right, are you done? Can we stop talking about Lexa, please?”

“And all her assets?” Raven teased. “All that badassery rolled into that coat? Don’t you just want to take that coat off her—”

“Shut up, Reyes. I mean it.” And oh, yes. She wanted to take Lexa’s coat off every chance she got. Another blush heated her cheeks.

She laughed. “Uh-huh. Griffin’s hot for Lexa. Not that I blame you. Nobody would.”

“Seriously. Are you done?”

“For now. And I do get it. She’s the Commander of the clans. But she’s not out of your league.”

“Raven—”

“Done. I’m done here.” She raised both her hands. “And your knee is bothering you. Come on. You can lie down on my bed.”

“Bellamy’s coming back here.”

“Fine. Sit down until he gets here. And then maybe go back to your quarters and lie down. Can you do that?”

“Maybe. But Lexa wants to meet with me and my mom later.” She braced for more teasing as she slid down the wall to a sitting position.

“Okay,” Raven said instead. “So just relax a bit here and then go down to my floor and hang out in my room. Did your mom have a look at your knee?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Raven sat down next to her. “Do you really think somebody at Arkadia might’ve built these bombs?”

“It’s possible. But you’re the expert. Can you figure out where those wires came from?”

“Maybe. If I can reconstruct the bombs, that might tell me something about the builder.” She was quiet for a few moments, and Clarke closed her eyes, listening to the snatches of conversation and laughter from either side of the corridor, mingling with the scrape of debris as it was picked up and the hollow thunk of it against other pieces as it ended up in baskets.

“What happens now that Nia’s dead?”

Clarke opened her eyes. “ _Azgeda_ joins the _kongeda_. And I will complete our joining with it. We weren’t able to do a full ceremony initially because time was an issue. Now we can finish it.”

“But what does it mean for us?”

“Nia was a huge problem, as you saw when she tried to draw Arkadia into her plans. So with her gone, Lexa is probably going to see how much influence she had with other clans and make a plan to get rid of it. And she’ll probably start developing more trade routes, especially with us. We have to start getting ready for the winter, and Grounders can help. We have to have something to exchange, and I think it’ll be medical help at first.”

“So this is kind of like the Ark, only on the ground.”

“Kind of. In theory. But we’ll be better off here than we were there because if we do this right, and learn, we’ll have access to more resources and we’ll be able to develop our own. Like growing even more of our own food and developing things we can trade. And we might be able to develop our own tech, eventually, and maybe teach others how to do it. Widespread electricity, maybe.”

Raven smiled. “Big dreams, Griff. Big dreams.”

“You never know. Lexa wants the clans united because they’ll stop warring with each other and they’ll be better positioned to develop resources. And she’s interested in tech, insofar as it’s not associated with the mountain. There are still lots of Grounders who are not going to ever get over what happened in the mountain. And their kids won’t, either. So the tech thing—that’s going to be a tougher sell than other stuff. Lexa gets it, but she’s not going to force people to deal with it until she gets some groundwork taken care of.”

Raven laughed.

“What?”

“That’s what I meant, that you and Lexa operate in sync on a separate plane. I’m telling you, as weird as it might seem, you two are perfect for each other.”

“Can we not talk about that? Please?” She wasn’t ready to reveal how right Raven actually was, though there were days she wanted to shout all the things she felt for Lexa from the top of the tower.

Raven smiled again and Clarke closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

“Hey, you okay?” Bellamy asked a few minutes later.

“Yeah. Knee’s a little sore.”

He squatted next to her. “Want me to get Abby?”

“No. I’m seeing her later. It can wait.”

“You sure?”

She nodded and let him help her up. He then pulled Raven up, too.

“So Jax asked to see you,” Bellamy said.

Clarke nodded. She figured eventually he would. “Now?”

“Yeah.”

She looked at Raven. “You good?”

“Yep. Go on. I’ll see you later.”

Clarke nodded again and went with Bellamy and two guards to the stairs, gritting her teeth as they descended to the floor where _Skaikru_ was housed. “How did he seem?”

“Okay. I asked how he felt physically and he said just tired and he has a headache.”

“Probably from the poison. What else did he say?”

“Not much. Just that he wanted to talk to you.”

She didn’t answer and they arrived at the floor.

“Clarke,” Octavia said behind her. She sounded like she was slightly winded and Clarke guessed she had run up the stairs.

“Hey. Jax wants to see me. Want to come?”

“Sure.”

Bellamy shot her a look but Octavia either ignored it or didn’t see. She walked with them down the corridor to the room where Jax was staying. Already, some of the torches in the wall sconces on either side had been lit and Clarke guessed it was probably close to evening by now. She hadn’t been up that long, but she was already tired and knew she did need to rest more. Once she was done with the meeting with Abby and Lexa, she would go to bed. And hopefully, Lexa would join her. Every part of her missed her touch, missed her presence, and craved the sound of her voice.

Clarke put that thought aside, as good as it felt, and stopped at Jax’s room. His door was open and he was standing by the window, which was open. Clarke had been right. Evening shadows were already spreading over Polis. He turned and looked at them.

“Jax,” she said by way of greeting.

“Hey,” he said, and he sounded and looked tired. Stress marked his features in the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth and his clothes were rumpled and dirty. “I heard Lora and Michi are up for pardon.”

“Yes.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“It means they’re sorry for betraying Arkadia and they’re willing to go back and work to contribute. They also worked hard to help me when I was captured, so there’s some good faith there on my part.”

“What are my options?”

“What do you want them to be?”

“I don’t have any family at Arkadia,” he said. “Not much reason for me to go back.” He sounded bitter, but also like he was daring someone to say otherwise.

“Hey, that’s no reason not to go,” Bellamy said, taking Jax’s bait. “There are people there who you know from the Ark. Just because you’re not related to them doesn’t mean they can’t be family. We need all the help we can get.”

Octavia shared a glance with Clarke that said she didn’t buy anything Jax was selling.

“Can you guys give me a minute with Jax?” Clarke asked.

Bellamy started to say something but Octavia pulled him out of the room. She left the door partially open, however, and Clarke was glad because she didn’t trust Jax. He watched her, wary.

“Here’s the deal,” Clarke said. “I’m not supportive of lifting your banishment because you not only left Arkadia along with other _natrona_ , but you willingly carried a message for them back to Arkadia.”

“Pike forced me to.”

“You could have told them that at the gate. But you didn’t. Instead, you went back to the mountain. And you probably knew what was in that message.”

His eyes flashed in anger and maybe something else, something cunning.

“You also brought a message from Nia here.”

“Like I had a choice with that. I was poisoned.”

He was probably being truthful about that, since Jon died as a result of carrying a message for Nia. “What information did you give her?”

His eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that question. “Nothing much because I didn’t know much.”

“Tell me anyway.”

He shrugged. “She asked lots of questions about you and the Commander.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” he raised his hands in frustration. “Like stuff I couldn’t answer. She wanted to know how close you are. I mean, I assumed you’re like business partners, so that’s what I told her. Sky Crew is part of the coalition thing, but she already knew that.”

Probably because Danyel had alerted her, Clarke thought. “What else?”

“She wanted to know how long you and Lexa had known each other. It was like she was trying to prove you’re hooking up.” He said it offhandedly, and from his voice, the thought hadn’t entered his mind, much to her relief.

“Did she ask anything about Arkadia?”

“Not really. She was more focused on Polis and Lexa. And you. It was kind of weird, actually, how much she wanted to know about you. But I couldn’t help her with that, since I’d only met you once and I already figured you for an asshole.”

She didn’t react. She had a dim view of him, as well, and didn’t care what he thought. “Why did Nia tell you to carry a message?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did she promise you something?”

“She said if I did it, she’d let me go.”

“And you believed her?”

He shrugged. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Did you ask her to free Michi and Lora, too?”

He didn’t respond and she knew it was because the thought probably hadn’t even entered his mind to do something like that for others.

“So what did Pike and Sanders offer you?”

That question also caught him a little off-guard because he frowned. “In what sense?”

“I doubt you would have left Arkadia by yourself. So they must have offered something to leave with them. What was it?”

“Protection in a place that already had everything we needed. It seemed stupid that we weren’t using that facility.” He sounded almost accusing.

“That’s it? You agreed to go _natrona_ just for a different place to live?”

He glanced away then back. “Why does that make me a traitor, to want a safe place to live?”

“Because you agreed to leave with people who were trying to overthrow the leadership at Arkadia and who willingly took up with a guy who was threatening to bomb both Arkadia and Polis.” She regarded him with a hard, cold stare. “So I’m guessing that you were supportive of overthrowing the leadership. But instead of doing it through elections, you instead left with a group of people who decided to split from Arkadia and who would then have access to weapons that would allow them to make whatever threats they wanted. And that is precisely what that message said when you brought it to Arkadia.”

He looked away again.

“So what exactly did Pike and Sanders offer?” she asked again.

He didn’t answer.

“I’m guessing a place in a new leadership hierarchy, away from one you didn’t like.”

His jaw muscles clenched. “Okay, fine. Maybe I did. And maybe I’m not thrilled about going back to Arkadia. But I don’t exactly have anywhere else to go and I’m not an idiot. I wouldn’t last a week out there on my own.”

“I realize that. So I’m willing to put you on provisional status for a while.”

“What is that?”

“I’m not going to entirely lift your banishment, but I’m going to try to grant you a probationary period. If you don’t screw it up, then the Chancellor can reassess and maybe then it’ll be totally lifted. But it’s a decision that only the Commander can make. The Chancellor and I can petition for you, but it’s ultimately her decision.”

“So until then, I’m not completely banished but I’m not completely _not_ banished.”

“That’s my offer. Your other option is to leave Polis on your own.” And she wouldn’t care if he did. Part of her hoped he would, because she was tired of dealing with people like him, tired of dealing with the detritus of the mountain.

He stared out the window, anger radiating off him like heat.

“I have to talk with the Chancellor and the Commander later this evening. It’s your choice,” she said, “what you want me to ask.”

“Fine. I’ll go back to Arkadia,” he snapped.

“I don’t have to even offer you that,” she responded, tone cold.

He looked out the window then back at her. “I’ll take the offer,” he said, in a less sarcastic tone.

She nodded. “I’ll let you know what’s decided.” She turned to leave.

“You’re no better than the Chancellor,” he said in a low voice. “But I’m not surprised, given that you’re related to her.”

Clarke stopped and looked at him, not surprised. “Do you really want to go there with me?”

He dropped his gaze.

“Didn’t think so.” She gave him another hard stare and left, shutting the door behind her.

“Well?” Bellamy said when she joined them in the corridor.

“I offered probation.”

He frowned.

“Come on.” She led them to the stairwell where they could talk in relative privacy. Clarke’s guards remained a few paces away.

“What do you mean?” Bellamy asked.

“He needs to prove he’s not a liability and then the Chancellor can petition for the banishment to be lifted.” She anticipated the scowl before it hit Bellamy’s face.

“Why not just lift it completely?” He crossed his arms.

“Because Clarke can’t trust him,” Octavia said. “I don’t trust him, either. Ask around, Bell. He’s trouble.”

Clarke shot her an appreciative glance.

“Okay, so what do we do with him for however long this probation is?”

Clarke gave him a look. “What you always do. Put him to work. Make him useful. Maybe he’ll grow into being a community member. He’s Farm Station. There’s got to be something he can do.”

“We need to watch him, though.”

Bellamy looked at Octavia. “Why?”

“He has a problem with Abby and now, with Clarke. He doesn’t have much loyalty to Arkadia and from what I’ve heard, he really admired Pike.”

Clarke wondered if Gina had offered that assessment. “He wouldn’t tell me much about why he decided to leave Arkadia with Pike and Sanders, so if there’s a history there, it might play into his reasons for leaving. From what I could get out of him, it seems Pike and Sanders promised him a leadership position. The other reason is he hates the current Chancellor.”

“And you’re sure you want to put him back in Arkadia?” Octavia asked.

“No. But he said it’s his only option and he said he’d take it. I’m compromising my concern about his loyalties with a probationary period. He’s not stupid. He knows that if he doesn’t go back to Arkadia, he won’t last long. And he also knows that people are going to be watching him during this probation thing.”

Bellamy rubbed his jaw absently and one of his familiar scowls appeared. “So basically, we’re baby-sitting this guy.”

“Sort of,” Clarke said. “I think he needs to be watched, because he may try to sabotage Arkadia or its leadership in some way. Or I might be wrong about that and instead he’ll settle in and just be the resident asshole.”

“We might be able to get some information from him, though,” Octavia said. “Lora and Michi are willing to talk about what they know about Sanders and Pike at the mountain. Jax might be, too. Maybe we can figure out if Pike is still alive and where he went.”

“Maybe,” Clarke said. “He won’t talk to me about it. Maybe he’ll talk to someone else.”

Bellamy gave one of his cursory nods. “Okay, I’ll go with what you’re saying. We’ll watch him, if Lexa and Abby decide to do a probation with him.”

“They will,” Clarke said.

“I’m not going to ask how you know that.” Bellamy rolled his eyes but smiled to blunt it. Clarke chose to ignore it. Octavia was more subtle with her eyeroll directed at him.

“Ah, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

They all turned as a servant approached, coming up the stairs.

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke responded.

“ _Ai don ste lufa yu au. Heda gaf chich yu en Abi kom Skaikru op_.” 1

Clarke nodded. “ _Mochof_. _Weron_?” 2

“ _Ai na goch yu op_.” 3

“Go on,” Octavia said. “We’ll catch you later.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and followed the servant to the lift, her two guards with her. They ascended a few floors and Clarke guessed they were going to the floor where the council generally met. Sure enough, the servant led her to the small meeting room Lexa used for more intimate conversations like this. Which made her all the more nervous about it and the layers at play. She almost laughed out of anxiety as the walked down the corridor. Because how much more awkward could this be, sitting at a table with the woman who was wrapped around her heart and her mother, with whom she shared a contentious, painful history?

“Clarke,” Balta said with a smile when Clarke appeared in the doorway and the servant who had brought her quietly left as the guards took up positions outside the door. Balta motioned her to the table and Clarke sank gratefully into a chair to the right of the head of the table. A platter of meat waited for her, along with two loaves of bread and another platter of vegetables.

Someone—probably Balta—had lit several candles and placed them strategically nearby.

“ _Heda_ assumed you had not eaten evening meal yet,” Balta said as she poured her a cup of tea. Clarke took it and sipped, its warmth seeming to alleviate her stiffness a little though she knew that was impossible.

“She assumed correctly. _Mochof_.”

“She expects that you will start.” Balta set the pitcher down.

Clarke gratefully cut herself a slice of bread and piled it with meat and vegetables.

“How is your pain?” Balta asked.

“Tolerable. But don’t worry. I’m planning on getting some rest after this.”

“ _Os_. I am sure _Heda_ would insist on this, as well.”

Clarke shot her a glance, but Balta’s expression remained impassive, though there might have been a twinkle in her eyes. Or that may have been a trick of the candlelight. “Do you happen to know if the two other _natrona kom Skaikru_ are in Polis? With everything happening, I haven’t had a chance to ask _Heda_.”

“No. I am sure _Heda_ will discuss this in further detail with you once other business is concluded. The _Trishana_ party was attacked by Pike and other _Skaikru_.”

She stared at her. “Guns?”

“ _Sha_. No one was killed, though there were injuries. _Kris kom Trishana_ sent scouts to try to locate Pike and the _Skaikru_ with him, but they were not successful.”

“Pike is probably better on the ground than most of Arkadia,” Clarke said. His training in Earth skills no doubt helped with that.

“Perhaps. _Heda_ still has scouts searching for him.” And there wasn’t much else they could do at the moment, though she’d let Kane know.

“Maybe he went to the Dead Zone.”

“That would be best,” Balta said, her tone dry.

At the sounds of someone approaching in the corridor, Balta stepped out and Clarke heard her talking to someone. A few seconds later, she came in with Abby.

“Hey,” Clarke said and she cut a few more slices of bread.

“Hi.” Abby sat down across from her and Balta poured her a cup of tea, as well, then retreated to the corridor.

“How’s your knee?” Abby asked as she took one of the slices of bread and put meat on it.

“Sore. And I’m pretty much stiff all over.” She glanced at her. “Don’t worry. After this, I’m going to go lie down.”

“Good.”

They ate in companionable silence for a little while until Abby spoke again.

“The guards at the guardhouse are in pretty good shape, though a couple had some injuries that will require a longer convalescence than I’m sure they want.”

“That’s good news. Sorry I couldn’t make it, after all.”

“It’s all right. It went well. I worked with Jef. Lexa was there for a while then had to go deal with something about Izik.”

Clarke snapped her gaze back to Abby. “Izik?”

“That’s what it sounded like. Izik at the gates.”

“That would be _Izik kom Delfikru_. The men who plotted against Lexa and planted the bombs are from his clan.”

“I think I knew that. Danyel is the clan representative?”

“Yes.” She took a bite and chewed, thinking. Lexa would request an audience with Izik to determine what punishments Danyel and Mykal would face. Most likely, she had done that already, but she would also want a council meeting held to validate it, which would place Izik in a position of having to prove himself to the _kongeda_.

“So what did Raven find out?”

“IEDs on a timer, like she suspected. One in a basket outside a door, the other in a clay pot, also outside a door. I asked her about the possibility of the bombs being made at Arkadia.”

Abby had been in the process of taking a drink, but her cup stopped halfway to her mouth. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Pike or Sanders or both of them had other plans? I mean, it’s a stretch, but Raven’s considering it. And we might not ever know.” She finished one open-face sandwich and made another, thinking that she was having dinner with her mother while waiting for her girlfriend and they were all going to talk politics.

Clarke took a bite. Girlfriend. That word just didn’t encompass what she felt for Lexa, didn’t even come close to capturing the depth of the connection between them. _Niron_ was better, she decided, and she even liked that it meant loved one or lover, though saying that in English didn’t sound as nice as _niron_. Lover. Loved one. She was already thinking about Lexa in those terms. It should have scared her, but instead, it put heat in her veins and sent sparks down her spine.

“What?” Abby asked.

Clarke looked at her, puzzled.

“You were smiling.”

“I was?” She immediately took another bite. Even thinking about Lexa was bound to get her into trouble.

“Yes. It’s a good look on you.” Abby reached for another slice of bread just as Lexa appeared in the doorway, dressed completely in black, and Clarke forgot to swallow. Even without her facepaint, coat, and swords, Lexa exuded authority, power, and so much else. And oh, the way her vest hugged her torso…Raven had been so right. Clarke managed to swallow and stood up, and Abby did, too, following her lead.

“ _Heda_.” Her voice sounded steady, much to her relief.

“Commander,” Abby said.

“Clarke. Chancellor.” Lexa nodded and strode to the chair at the head of the table but didn’t sit down. Instead, with both hands, she pulled two knives from either side of her belt and with quick flourishes, had them positioned with their hilts pointing toward Clarke. She set them gently on the table next to her and Clarke stared, recognizing them immediately.

She looked up at Lexa. “How—”

“ _Haihefa_ Roan. He realized they were not _Azgeda_ and thought they might belong to you or another _Trikru_.”

Clarke picked them up and slid them into the sheaths at her own belt, their weight familiar and oddly comforting. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” she said.

Lexa gave her a nod but the momentary spark in her eyes gave her much more, especially comfort. She gestured for her and Abby to sit before she did, a smooth, graceful motion that Clarke tried to ignore but couldn’t. Abby threw her an enigmatic glance and Balta appeared, breaking the moment, fortunately. She poured Lexa a cup of tea, set the pitcher back down on the table, then retreated, closing the doors behind her.

“Thank you for your time. Did you find the food satisfactory?” Lexa regarded Abby, to whom these formal courtesies were extended.

“Yes, thank you.”

She shifted her gaze to Clarke. “The Chancellor informed me earlier that _Reiven kom Skaikru_ was investigating the bombs.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Clarke said. “They were designed with a timer, so the bomber could trigger that then place them somewhere. She believes one was in a basket outside a door and the other in a clay pot, outside another door.”

“Mykal knew the routines of the servants on that floor.” Lexa reached for her cup. “He would choose hiding places that would not be disturbed in the time that he needed.”

Clarke hated thinking about how close she had come to losing Lexa then, too. “I told Raven that. But I also wanted to know if the bombs could have been made at Arkadia.”

Lexa’s gaze bored into hers as she waited.

“Raven showed me the wires of one of the bombs and they looked like wires that could be found at Arkadia. I wondered if maybe Pike or Sanders had built bombs for something else, then Nia came along, as did Emerson, and there was a different set of circumstances for using them.”

“Something to ponder,” Lexa said as she took a sip of tea. “Chancellor, I apologize for not providing a more extensive tour of the guardhouse earlier today. I trust Jef was able to do so?”

“He did. There are two of your warriors who will need a longer healing period for their injuries than they would like. I thought I would let you know. Jef agrees.”

“I appreciate that you took so much time with them today. And the wounded in the tower?”

Abby provided her thoughts, Lexa listening attentively, but Clarke was having a hard time not staring. Lexa had always caught her attention, even when things between them were tense and painful, but anymore, whenever she was near, it was all Clarke could do not to reach out and touch her, not to entwine their fingers or lean in for a kiss. Even with her mother sitting right across from her. Was it so obvious that even Raven had picked up on it? And when had that happened, that Lexa had become a craving like this?

Clarke wrenched her gaze to the food and stacked meat on another piece of bread, more for something to keep herself occupied because it was unsettling, having Lexa and Abby in the same room with her, especially because Lexa was so much more than just _Heda_ to her.

“Very well,” Lexa said after Abby had finished. “And Balta will continue to coordinate with you in that regard. Do you plan to stay tomorrow, as well?”

Clarke looked at Abby.

“How long would you like me to stay?” Abby asked.

“As long as you feel necessary,” Lexa said. “I know you would like to continue to monitor the worst injuries, but I also know you may have things you wish to attend to in Arkadia.” She ran her finger along the rim of her cup and Clarke tried not to stare at Lexa’s hands, tried not to think about them on her that morning. She wrenched her gaze back to Abby with an effort.

“I would actually like to stay a few extra days to monitor the wounded, and to work with your healers to develop a plan for continued care in that regard.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked. “You are Chancellor, after all.”

“And therein lies the rub,” Abby said. “I am, but I am first and foremost a doctor—healer—” she clarified for Lexa, “and I think I’m needed here for a few more days.”

Lexa sat back in her chair and rested her cup on the armrest. She regarded Abby then Clarke, expression neutral.

“I’ll contact Kane after we’re finished here,” Abby said. “Clarke, it might be a good idea for you to be with me when I do that.”

She nodded, thinking that Abby hadn’t said or done anything abrasive since she had arrived for this meeting. She took a bite of her sandwich. There was still time for that, though.

Abby picked up her cup. “I don’t think Kane will think it’s a problem for me to stay a few extra days.”

“My warriors will accompany you to Arkadia or to a meeting point when you decide to leave. Whichever you prefer,” Lexa said.

“Thank you, Commander. I greatly appreciate your hospitality.”

Clarke sipped her tea. Abby sounded genuine in her courtesy toward Lexa, and for that she was infinitely glad.

“You may actually wish to stay longer, Chancellor. It has been decided that there will be a festival after _Azgeda_ joins the _kongeda_. Roan left for _Azgeda_ earlier today but he will return within the next ten days to address the council and petition for entrance into the _kongeda_. It is most likely a formality, and we will then have the ceremonies granting entrance. We will allow a few more days after that to give people extra time to come to Polis for the festivities.” She fastened her gaze to Clarke’s and even in the candlelight, her eyes seemed to shimmer. “The festival will commemorate the end of the mountain and the unification of the clans.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa would never hold a ceremony to commemorate herself, but she guessed people had been talking about celebrating her so she instead encouraged a party in honor of events larger than herself, and made sure that _Skaikru_ was also indirectly part of it. Again, she was reminded of the acuity with which Lexa negotiated politics.

“I take it you approve of this idea?” Lexa said to her with a quick answering smile.

“I do. And I’m sure Arkadia would be amenable to help in any way.”

“We would,” Abby said. “I was just talking earlier today that a party would be a good idea. I’ll bring it up with Kane. I’m also assuming that Clarke needs to be here for the _kongeda_ ceremony.”

“She does,” Lexa said. “She may have already explained, but _Skaikru_ needs to finish the ceremony. She and Kane already took the oaths as dictated by custom, but there is another recognition involved.” Lexa finished the tea in her cup and leaned forward to set it on the table. “Time was too short to ensure the full ceremony was completed.”

Abby looked over at Clarke. “She did mention that. Does Kane need to be part of that, too? If so, I’ll let him know when I radio him later.”

“No,” Lexa said. “Clarke is the _Skaikru_ representative. Kane is welcome, of course, to view the ceremony, as part of the _Skaikru_ council and delegation, but he is not required to partake.”

Clarke caught Lexa’s eye and she looked at her empty cup then back at her face, a silent question. Lexa nodded and Clarke refilled her cup from the pitcher. When she set it down, she caught Abby watching her with a quizzical expression.

“We will wait until after you speak with Kane, Chancellor, to determine your schedule.” Lexa turned her gaze back to Clarke. “I will now inform you that _Izik kom Delfikru_ arrived earlier today and your presence is thus required tomorrow after first light for a council meeting with regard to _Danyel en Mykal kom Delfikru_. After that, if you wish to return to Arkadia for a few days, I will ensure that my schedule accommodates you.”

Clarke kept her expression blank. That was the last thing she wanted to do, though in terms of responsibilities, it might be the correct thing. She glanced at Lexa’s eyes, seeking confirmation that it was the last thing she wanted, too, and she found it in a familiar flash of warmth in their depths.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Abby said. “We can check with Kane, but it seems that the best place for Clarke to be right now is here, taking care of council business and ensuring that we have a representative on site until after the festival, at least.”

“I might have to go back,” Clarke said, and it pained her to voice it. “To accompany Lora, Michi, and Jax and to meet with Kane and the rest of the council to get them caught up on what’s been happening. Speaking of which, can we talk about the _natrona_?”

“ _Sha_.” Lexa regarded Clarke over the rim of her cup. “What have you decided?’

“I want to pardon Lora and Michi but grant Jax a probationary period.”

Lexa sat back, still regarding Clarke. “How long would this period be?”

“Six months, at least, but subject to being revoked at any time. The Chancellor will then assess—with my help if wanted—whether Jax truly wishes to be part of Arkadia and can then either petition you to lift the banishment or request another probationary period.”

Lexa looked at Abby. “Is that amenable, Chancellor?”

Abby frowned and directed her gaze at Clarke. “Why not just pardon him?”

“Because I don’t trust him.”

Abby’s eyes narrowed and Clarke braced for the butting of heads that usually followed this change in her demeanor.

“And others don’t, either,” she said, trying not to sound like she was challenging her though she knew she was. “Plus, he’s not Grounder, and he will not survive on his own without Arkadia. We’re still trying to develop systems and rules that work, so maybe he’ll serve as an example for future punishments.”

“And if he doesn’t make it through the probationary period?” Abby asked.

“Then we turn him out.”

“On what grounds?” she pushed.

“He needs to contribute, to put in regular hours like everybody else, to show up for meetings. And he needs to be monitored, because he might start talking to others and he’ll undermine leadership. Maybe have check-ins with him. Ultimately, it’s what the Chancellor and council decide.”

“You can’t force someone to participate if they don’t want to,” Abby said, and Clarke could tell she was trying not to end up in another argument with her, but her tone was definitely headed that way.

“There is danger to exclusion as well as inclusion,” Lexa said, and they both looked at her, Clarke appreciating how smoothly she inserted herself into the conversation. “He does not wish to be at Arkadia, but in his mind, it is the less bad of two bad things. He will no doubt attempt to exclude himself, which will cause others to avoid him, thus feeding his sense of isolation. That makes him dangerous. But if he is included, his loyalties may not lie with Arkadia, and he will thus use what he learns against those he seeks to undermine.” She regarded them both. “Clarke is right. He will not survive on his own. She is also right that he cannot be trusted. I am therefore willing to extend a probationary period given that he is new to the ground. If he were not, however, I would not.”

“Is that why you’re doing this?” Abby asked Clarke. “Because he’s not from the ground?”

“Yes.”

“So if he did have more experience living here, you wouldn’t ask the Commander to lift his banishment.” It was not a question.

“No. I’d ask _Heda_ to turn him out when Michi and Lora leave for Arkadia. He’s under her protection while he’s in Polis unless he does something to screw that up but I’ll tell you right now that he’s done nothing to warrant any support.”

Abby leaned forward, and her gaze intensified. “And where is Arkadia in this decision? He’s from there,” Abby said, and her tone indicated that she was preparing for a battle. “And Arkadia is under _my_ jurisdiction as Chancellor. Yet you made these decisions about banishment somewhat unilaterally.”

Clarke managed to keep her anger down. “That’s not true. I let both you and Kane know, and as the official _Skaikru_ representative, I made the call and you both authorized me to do it.”

“Maybe the decision was wrong,” Abby pushed.

“No, it wasn’t,” Clarke said, feeling a familiar knot in her gut when she went head-to-head with Abby like this. But she also felt stronger, and more present with Lexa nearby. She kept her voice level. “I went with the information I had, which was that four people had willingly left Arkadia in the company of others who had planned a coup then allied with someone who threatened to—and would have—bombed Arkadia and Polis off the map. That’s pretty treasonous, that they were willing to work with someone who would have killed everyone in Arkadia. And they had every opportunity to tell me they regretted their decisions prior to my ending up with Lora and Michi in Nia’s cell. And they didn’t. Lora and Michi didn’t until we were under duress, but I do think it was genuine. Regardless, I’m being damn magnanimous, giving them an extra chance. Jax, however, continues to avoid any kind of responsibility for his actions and, in my conversation with him today, even brought you up as a reason he didn’t want to go back to Arkadia.” She stopped talking then, trying to maintain calm.

“Even if you’re right about that on the surface, you’re still playing with people’s lives. You banish them and ruin their lives and then you suddenly revoke the banishment? How is anybody supposed to trust your judgment or—” she waved a hand toward Lexa, “the Commander’s? Because it looks like you’re doing this without any thought or preparation.”

Clarke shot a glance at Lexa, who remained unruffled, though she was watching Abby closely. “I don’t think it’s unprepared when a banishment is lifted in response to specific circumstances. In this case, those circumstances happened relatively soon after the banishment.” She leaned forward, too. “I don’t get to schedule events like that. All I can do is respond to them. Lifting the banishment from Lora and Michi is my response.”

“It looks like bad governance on both your parts—”

“So you’re saying that I should turn them out even after all the work they did to help us?”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“It is. And you’re also questioning my leadership, as well as Lexa’s.”

“All I’m saying is that if you punish someone and then revoke the punishment a few days later, it looks bad,” Abby snapped.

“So what’s the solution, then? It’s a little too late to say they shouldn’t have been banished in the first place. And sorry, they should have.”

Abby didn’t respond and instead sat glaring at Clarke for a few moments.

“Well? What’s the solution?” she repeated.

“Clarke is right.”

Clarke snapped her gaze to Lexa.

“She had no choice. The punishment for treachery is, at the very least, banishment. Had Clarke not decided such, _Skaikru_ would have lost standing with the _kongeda_.”

“So you basically put her up to it,” Abby retorted.

Lexa’s eyes flashed, dangerous, but her tone remained even. “Clarke made her own decision.”

“Of course you would say that. You’ve done nothing but influence her since you showed up.”

“Mom,” Clarke said, a warning in her voice.

Lexa’s gaze hardened, crystalline in its intensity, and its force seemed to make Abby shrink. “A conversation for another time, if I feel it is warranted.”

Abby started to say something but Lexa cut her off.

“Do not test me, Chancellor,” she said, voice calm but the authority in it was unmistakable. “My patience is finite.”

The statement seemed to land on the table like a stone and tension coiled around Clarke’s stomach

Abby managed to hold her gaze a moment longer before she shifted it back to Clarke, and the expression in her eyes conveyed that she realized she had overstepped.

“Lexa _didn’t_ just show up,” Clarke said. “ _We_ did. We were the newcomers who came to the ground. I made the decision to approach _her_. She made the decision to work with us. She didn’t have to, but fortunately, she did.” Clarke said. “The decision to banish the _natrona_ was all mine, and the _natrona_ did leave Arkadia with the intent to never return and they followed a man who attacked and killed _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_. And let’s not even get into what Emerson proposed. So yes, they were traitors.”

“They’re young,” Abby said, but she sounded less certain.

“And? We’ve already talked about that. They don’t get to use that as an excuse for bad choices. The reality is, I do consider many decisions I now make within the context of our role in the _kongeda_. I have to, because that’s where we are. And honestly, banishment is a lot less harsh than what they would’ve gotten on the Ark.”

Abby dropped her gaze.

“The only thing Lexa had to do with my decision in this matter was explain to me how a banishment works. And I asked her about it, after I decided. I’m getting guidance on how all this works from her. I consider that extremely lucky, that she’s willing to work with me—a newcomer to the ground—on figuring this out.” She paused. “So are you going to support me on this or not? Because if you don’t, then we have much bigger problems between us than lifting banishments.”

Abby didn’t respond for a few moments and Clarke wondered if she was going to say something that would create yet another rift. She almost held her breath.

“Yes,” Abby finally said. “But the four of them should have been brought to Arkadia originally.”

Clarke waited a moment before responding. She would not be drawn into Abby’s patterns today. “They were complicit in the threat against Polis, too. So it was appropriate to bring them here and have the _Skaikru_ representative—me—make a decision. Otherwise they’d still be in a cell. And you and Kane were all right with it when we talked about it. You had the opportunity to say no.”

Abby’s jaw clenched. “Maybe it would’ve been all right for them to still be in a cell. You need to stop jumping into decisions like this so quickly.”

Clarke felt Lexa’s gaze on her and it calmed her. “I’d love to. But we aren’t in space, floating around facing few imminent and immediate threats. Things change quickly on the ground and dynamics shift sometimes within hours. I don’t have the luxury of time. And I did consult with both you and Kane.” She paused and then something occurred to her. “But this isn’t really about that. And it’s not really about Lexa, is it?”

Abby’s eyes narrowed again but Lexa sat back, the ghost of a smile at the corners of her mouth. Or perhaps it was another trick of the candlelight.

“Maybe what this is really about is that lifting the banishment worries you because these three are going back to Arkadia, and one of them does not support you.”

Lexa leaned forward again, but her expression was inscrutable. “Is this true, Chancellor?”

Abby nodded without looking at her. “Yes.”

“Is he a danger to you?”

She glanced at Lexa. “I don’t know.”

Lexa shifted her gaze to Clarke, the question in her eyes.

“Not physically. Jax is more the type to gather information and use it against people.”

“That does not mean he isn’t capable. There are many different ways to hurt people physically.”

She was right. Sifting through the rubble on one of the tower floors that morning demonstrated it. “That’s true. I can’t say, then. But I’ll lean toward no for now.”

“What did you tell Jax today?” Abby asked, and it seemed she was calmer.

“That I was meeting with you and Lexa and that I’d ask for a probationary period. But he’s not a supporter of mine, either. Especially not now, since I wouldn’t lift the banishment completely.”

“Did he accept this alternative?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, but not gratefully. He said Arkadia was his only option, since he won’t survive on his own. How was he with you?” She directed the question to Abby.

“He wasn’t approachable at all. He wouldn’t let me examine him, either.” She sighed. “With me as Chancellor, I’ll concede he’s probably not a good fit at Arkadia, but that will change in the coming days, so I’m leaning toward a probationary period.”

Lexa’s brow furrowed momentarily. “How will this change? Explain.”

“My talents and strengths lie elsewhere than in the position of Chancellor. It appears that Kane has enough support to replace me, and there will be elections in the coming days.”

“And what of the _Skaikru_ council?” Lexa asked.

“I may retain a seat, but if I don’t, those on it will still be amenable to working with the _kongeda_. Kane and I have been ensuring that people accept it, and after you sent forces to help us against _Azgeda_ , you seem to have much more support at Arkadia.” She smiled, maybe a little sheepishly. “Kane, especially, has been very persuasive. It appears that Sinclair will remain on the council and he has always been supportive of working with you. I may also remain on it, depending on the votes, along with a representative from Farm Station, as well as the father of a man you may know as Miller. Neither of them have worked with you directly, but they see what you have accomplished, and what Clarke has accomplished, and they are optimistic.”

Lexa’s expression was unreadable, but Clarke knew she was processing this information, considering possibilities and problems, and developing strategies. “It may be best, Clarke,” she said, “for you to return to Arkadia as you said earlier, and meet with Kane and the council to get a sense of things.”

She nodded. “Probably. And I just learned of this earlier myself,” Clarke said to her. “Kane is most likely going to be the next Chancellor—” she looked at Abby, “or is someone running against him?”

“No, and he has said that he’ll take a two-year term and then stand for a vote of retention or not.”

Lexa reached for her cup and sipped, looking for all the world as if she was simply enjoying a quiet moment but Clarke knew that she was already weeks, maybe months ahead in political possibilities. “Continue with Jax,” she said, glancing at Clarke.

“I’m willing to do a probationary period in terms of the banishment, and it might work out since the Chancellor will change soon.”

Lexa’s gaze drilled into Clarke’s for a moment, searching, before she turned to Abby and again subtly redefined the parameters of the conversation. “Chancellor? Your thoughts?”

The question seemed to catch her off guard, as if she hadn’t expected that Lexa would solicit her opinion so directly in these circumstances, especially after their earlier exchange. “Clarke has good points,” she admitted. “Jax may settle in better at Arkadia once I’m no longer Chancellor. But I suppose I’m still uneasy about the banishment decision in general. Maybe I’m thinking that we should have brought the four of them back to Arkadia to stand before the council. It just seems that to banish someone then a few days later lift a banishment…” she trailed off. “I’m just thinking about different angles.”

“And I appreciate that, Chancellor.” Lexa leaned forward, gaze intent. “But a banishment such as this is made at the behest of the clan and its representatives. A petition to lift it can come directly from the clan to me. Given the extenuating circumstances, in which Lora and Michi have demonstrated remorse and accepted responsibility for their actions and then proceeded to help Clarke and _Skaikru_ , I have been given a reason to lift their banishment. Doing so is a private matter, usually conducted by a clan leader or representative with me, as we are doing here. If I feel it is a matter for the council, I will engage them. I do not feel this instance requires that.”

Abby relaxed a little “What about the marks on their hands?”

“Once they have fully healed, there is another we can apply to indicate that I have lifted the banishment.”

She nodded, but she was still frowning. “Does this make Arkadia or Clarke look bad? That three of ours were banished and then absolved? And how does that affect any appearance of favoritism?”

That was a good question and Clarke flashed Abby an appreciative glance, despite her earlier statements.

“Given the circumstances that caused Clarke to want to reassess the original banishment, no,” Lexa said. “We cannot always choose the timing of situations that may warrant a petition to lift a banishment. And I trust Clarke’s judgment. She doesn’t make decisions lightly.”

Abby’s eyes widened and Clarke took a sip from her cup, heart pounding at Lexa’s statement, at her openly stating her trust in her.

Abby’s shoulders immediately relaxed and once again, Clarke was reminded of Lexa’s inherent skills as a politician.

“Maybe Arkadia can also send a few people here for the festival, to build more good will. The more Polis is demystified, the better. They can double up in rooms, if we can find them lodging in the city.” She looked at Lexa, whose expression had gone thoughtful.

“I was planning on it,” Abby said, “after consultation with the Commander. But I was also planning to have a party in Arkadia to coincide with the festival in Polis. I think everybody could use it.”

Lexa nodded. “I will ensure that someone coordinates with you, Chancellor. I will ensure a gift of perhaps food.” She then quirked an eyebrow at Clarke, and she knew it was to steer the conversation back to the _natrona_. Funny, how she had come to be able to read her like that.

“Regarding Jax,” Clarke said. “He may decide he wants to contribute to Arkadia when you’re not Chancellor anymore. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him or anyone else about the election.”

“We haven’t. We plan to announce it perhaps seven days before, which should give people enough time to cast votes. Which now seems elections would be happening right around the time Roan returns from _Azgeda_. Maybe we’ll wait until after the party.” She sat back and it occurred to Clarke that she looked tired and worn, the kind of tired that came with weeks of not sleeping through the night and running on taxed reserves during the day.

“I would suggest after the _kongeda_ ceremonies and before the party,” Lexa said. “This way, people will feel positive about casting votes because they will have something to look forward to afterward. People whose spirits are high tend to feel less contentious.”

Clarke hid her smile behind the rim of her cup as she sipped.

Abby nodded. “I like that idea. I’ll tell Kane.”

“Apologies, _Heda_ ,” Clarke said. “I did not have a chance to speak with you earlier today about this.”

Lexa looked at her, gaze warm. “It seems we have all been busy. I do appreciate you both alerting me to these changes at Arkadia.” She sat back again, waiting.

“So, Chancellor,” Clarke said, forcing her attention back to Abby. “Will you accept a probationary period for Jax?”

She didn’t respond for a few moments and Clarke gritted her teeth, preparing for one of Abby’s more typical reations even though Lexa had managed to smooth the mood earlier.

Instead Abby said, “Given the options, yes. But I need to make sure that Kane is aware of it and what it might entail. We can set some guidelines.”

Clarke swallowed her surprise. “Maybe _Heda_ should be included in the conversation with Kane later this evening? If she has time.”

“I’m fine with that,” Abby said. “Commander?”

“My thanks. It may prove useful.” Lexa picked up her cup and Clarke wondered how it was that she could look both relaxed and so alert at the same time.

“Good.” Abby picked up her own cup. “I think I actually like that idea more than I thought I would. I know Kane would like to speak with you, Commander, about what’s happening in the wake of Nia’s death and you are better positioned to tell him that.”

“Certainly, Chancellor.” She straightened in her seat and glanced at both Clarke and Abby in turn. “Are there any other matters you wish to discuss at this time?”

Abby shook her head. “No, but I’m sure other things will come up when we talk to Kane. Where are we going to do that?”

“My quarters,” Clarke said. “I get good reception, usually, on the balcony. Is that acceptable, _Heda_?”

“ _Sha_. I will join you a little later. She stood and both Clarke and Abby did, too. “My thanks to you both. Let Balta know if you require anything further.”

“Commander,” Abby said, and Lexa waited. “I’m sorry. I spoke a bit…out of turn earlier.”

Lexa nodded and Clarke went to open the door. Balta stepped into the room, as if on cue. Guards stood waiting in the corridor, to escort Lexa wherever she needed to go next. Clarke ached to go with her, to get even a few moments alone with her. Instead, she moved aside for her but Lexa stopped and looked at her. Clarke fought every instinct she had to press herself close, to step into the protective circle of Lexa’s arms.

A half-smile appeared at the corner of her mouth only to disappear as quickly as it had come. “ _Ai na ai yu op kom taim chich Kane op_.” 4

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said. Lexa held her gaze a moment longer and Clarke watched as she strode past her into the corridor toward the lift, her guards falling into position around her. “Balta.”

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Heda nou don choj op_. _Yu na lid in dina kom em wogeda_? 5

“ _Sha_.”

“ _Mochof_. _Abi en ai gyon ai wogeda au_ _gon chich Kane op_. _Heda na gyong oso op_.” 6

Balta nodded and went back into the corridor.

“Ready?” Clarke asked Abby, who also nodded and followed her to the lift. She didn’t say anything, which was both a relief but also stress-inducing because given the circumstances, it probably meant that she was processing something and would bring it up later. She had a feeling it had to do with Lexa and Clarke was still not ready to have that conversation.

Abby finally spoke when they entered Clarke’s quarters. “Look, I’m sorry for what I said to Lexa.”

Clarke opened the doors to the balcony before she responded, and the cool night air washed over her. Balta had clearly already been to her quarters, because several candles were lit. “It’s between the two of you. Unless you want to bring me in.” She retrieved the radio from her shelf. She wasn’t sure exactly when Lexa had put it back, but she had been distracted for most of the morning, in the best possible ways.

“It just does seem that she has influenced you.”

“Most people in my life do.” She looked pointedly at her then checked the battery.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know. So I’ll guess what’s underneath it. You don’t completely trust her motivations, and you’re not on board with being allies with Grounders. But you’re also not totally okay with me making decisions based on my own experiences and connections.” She looked up from the radio. “That about it?”

Abby cleared her throat and even in the candlelight, Clarke could see a flush on her neck.

“I’m trying to do things differently where you’re concerned,” Clarke continued. “But you make it really fucking hard sometimes.” She turned on the radio to check it and was met by static. She adjusted the volume. Everything seemed fine so she turned it off until Lexa arrived.

“Fair enough. I screwed up earlier.”

“Yeah. You did,” she said, tone clipped.

Abby’s lips pursed and Clarke sat down at the table and put her foot up on the chair nearby to give her knee a rest.

“Fortunately, Lexa’s used to dealing with people who don’t agree with her and she’s willing to hear them out. That’s part of why I’m able to work with her, because she’ll listen.” She cocked her head. “Something you need to do more. It’s true that Lexa is really patient. But if she doesn’t think there’s a reason for her to continue a conversation or a relationship, she won’t. You have to stop thinking about yourself as an individual in these discussions. You’re part of something much bigger, and you need to think about how everything you say is going to play. And you do really need to start listening more.”

Abby crossed her arms defensively.

“I’m not saying that as a condemnation. But you have to admit, it’s true.” She softened he statement with a smile. “And yeah, I need to work on it, too. Especially where you’re concerned. But I am still going to tell you that you need to trust me.”

She didn’t respond for a while and Clarke shifted her leg on the chair. “Want me to have a look at that?” Abby asked, a change of topic that Clarke recognized as her way of avoiding further conflict.

“No. I’ll put some salve on it after we talk to Kane.”

“We can do that right now.”

Clarke sighed. She had a point, so she pulled her trouser leg out of her boot and pulled it up over her knee. Abby gently prodded it.

“Pain level?”

“Maybe a three or four when I’m walking.”

“Swelling’s down.”

Clarke handed her a jar of salve from her belt pouch and Abby dipped her fingers in and rubbed it carefully into the skin around and over her kneecap. It felt cool, and Clarke sighed in relief as its numbing properties kicked in.

“I really want to know what’s in this,” Abby said as she rubbed more in.

“Maybe Balta will help with that while you’re here the next few days.”

“Are you all right going back to Arkadia with the others?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll send a good message if I update the current council on what’s going on here.” Though she would miss Lexa terribly.

“You’re not up for walking to the Rover, with your knee like this.” She closed the jar and handed it back to Clarke.

“I can ride a horse to the Rover. Lexa will send scouts with us, too. She’ll probably want one to go to Arkadia, as a good will gesture.” And to make sure she had an ally, especially with Jax in the mix, now. A strange thought, that she would need an ally among her own people. She gazed into the darkness past the balcony doors and realized that though she still had connections to Arkadia, Lexa’s people had become more hers than she ever thought possible and Polis felt more like home than Arkadia ever had. Than the Ark ever had.

“You’re smiling again.”

Clarke shrugged. “Knee’s feeling better.” Which wasn’t entirely untrue though that wasn’t what was making her smile.

Abby was silent for a few moments. “So have I ruined my standing with Lexa?”

“No. She deals with that all the time.”

Abby sighed. “I don’t want to ruin Kane’s chances, either.”

“You didn’t. Lexa has a solid relationship with him. And she doesn’t lump people together.” She glanced at her. “So your screw-up isn’t going to affect how she interacts with him or with you, actually, unless you keep doing it.” Clarke stood and stretched her leg gingerly. “Let it go. It’s done.”

Abby was quiet for so long that Clarke finally looked at her. “I’m having a hard time in this world,” she admitted.

“We all are. It’s okay. And I know you take things a little more personally where I’m concerned. We’ll work on it.”

She nodded and stared at the darkness that cloaked the balcony. Neither spoke for a while, a relief to Clarke because dealing with Abby could be draining and she was already tired. She longed for Lexa, for her teasing smiles, for her warmth and strength, and for the moments she let down her walls completely. A knock on her door made her heart speed up and she limped to the door and opened it.

“Clarke,” Lexa said in greeting and the way her name rolled off her tongue made her want to take that leather vest off her and pull that shirt over her head and trace the expanse of her chest with her lips and hands. She wanted to let this day fade like the light, let it wash away, wrapped securely in the arms of the Commander.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said with a smile and stepped aside. “Please come in.”

Lexa did, flashing her an answering smile of her own.

Clarke shut the door behind her and took the radio out of her pocket and followed Lexa and Abby onto the balcony, trying and failing to keep her gaze off the lines of Lexa’s thighs and shoulders. She turned the radio on, glad for the much dimmer light and distraction of this task, and contacted Arkadia.

 

1 _Ai don ste lufa yu au Heda gaf chich yu en Abi kom Skaikru op_ : I was looking for you. _Heda_ wants to speak with you and Abby of/from _Skaikru_  
2 _Mochof_. _Weron_? Thank you. Where?  
3 _Ai na goch yu op_ : I’ll escort you.  
4 _Ai na ai yu op kom taim chich Kane op_ : I’ll see you when it’s time to talk to Kane  
5 _Heda nou don choj op_. _Yu na lid in dina kom em wogeda_? _Heda_ didn’t eat. Will you bring food to her quarters?  
6 _Abi en ai gyon ai wogeda au gon_ _chich Kane op_. _Heda na gyong oso op_ : Abby and I are going to my quarters to talk to Kane. _Heda_ will join us.”

 

###

“So I’ll let the others know that day after tomorrow they can head back to Arkadia.” Abby glanced first at Lexa then Clarke.

“We can leave at dawn,” Clarke said as she shut the doors to the balcony. “That gets us there way before nightfall.” She set the radio back on her shelf. It had been good to hear Kane’s voice, actually, and not just because he tended to have a calming effect on Abby. Not for the first time, she wondered if there could be something more between them.

“I will send Mora and Tam with you.” Lexa looked across the table at Abby from where she stood, then at Clarke. “Are you amenable to riding with one of them so we can take two horses instead of three?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then you’ll ride in the Rover the rest of the way?” Abby gestured at Clarke’s knee.

“Yeah. That’s the plan.” Though she would have preferred riding with Tam and Mora. It occurred to her that she found _Skaikru_ company almost tedious these days, and much preferred the companionable conversations and shared silences with Grounders. She still enjoyed talking to Raven and Gina, and Monty and Harper were refreshing, but Bellamy’s complaints about her actions and motives wore on her. Octavia she had grown to like more, perhaps because she, too, had settled more into Grounder habits through Lincoln, and for some reason, Clarke was better able to relate to her now, even when she challenged her.

“Okay. Then I guess there’s nothing left for us to talk about at the moment,” Abby said. “I’ll head back to my quarters.”

“Shall I or Balta accompany you, Chancellor?” Lexa asked.

Abby smiled. “No, thank you. I assume a guard will, though.”

“Indeed. If you require anything further, please ask a guard or a servant.”

“I will. Thank you for agreeing to this conversation with Kane. I know he was glad to hear from you.”

Clarke almost held her breath watching the exchange, hoping Abby had learned a lesson about dealing with Lexa.

“Certainly,” Lexa said.

“I’ll see you at some point tomorrow?” Abby said to Clarke.

“Yes, but I’m not sure when. I don’t know how long the council’s business will go, but if I’m not needed after that for anything, I’ll come and find you.”

Abby nodded. “Commander, you had mentioned tours of the city with some of your warriors. Does that offer still stand?”

“It does. Balta will coordinate with you.”

“Thank you. I’ll say good night to you both, then.”

“And to you, Chancellor,” Lexa said with an incline of her head.

Clarke walked with Abby to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Rest your knee.”

“I will.”

Abby squeezed her shoulder. “Good night.”

She followed her into the corridor. “’Night,” she said as she watched her get onto the lift with a guard. She then turned to one of the other guards. “ _Tel Balta op, bilaik Heda na nou choj op_.” 7

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_.”

“ _Mochof_.”

The guard hurried to the stairs and Clarke went back into her quarters and shut the door, heart seeming to speed up now that she was alone with Lexa, but she had gotten good at assessing her moods and body language, and something was on her mind. Clarke caught her gaze as she approached and stopped breathing when Lexa smiled, her expression tired but warm.

“You should rest,” Lexa said, her gaze moving to Clarke’s knee, worried, as she limped closer.

“ _Heda_ should take her own advice,” she said with a quick smile of her own.

Lexa reached for her and pulled her close. “Mmm. _Wanheda_ may have a point.” And before Clarke could respond Lexa tipped her chin up and kissed her, a sweet, soft meeting of lips that started to smolder the longer it went on. Clarke slid her arms around Lexa’s neck and gently sucked on her lower lip and Lexa’s hands slid down her back to her hips and she made a contented noise even as Clarke slowly pulled away.

“The trouble you try to cause me,” she teased.

Lexa smiled. “I can say the same about you.”

“Of the best possible kind.” She rested her hands on Lexa’s shoulders. “Thank you, for agreeing to talk to Kane.”

“There is no reason to thank me for what any leader would do. _Should_ do.”

“I’m almost positive that Kane will be the next Chancellor. He’s much easier in some ways to deal with than my mother.”

Lexa smiled but didn’t respond and Clarke studied her for a moment, enjoying the elegant, regal lines of her cheekbones even though exhaustion pulled at the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened with my mom earlier.”

Lexa shook her head and put her fingers gently on Clarke’s lips. “You are not responsible for her words or actions.” She lifted her fingers from her mouth and Clarke missed the touch immediately. “Even had she not apologized herself, I would not expect such from you on her behalf.”

“Still, she makes things difficult.”

“Many people do. But in her case, she is your mother first and your Chancellor second, which adds to her difficulty when dealing with me.”

“She knows about us,” Clarke said, watching Lexa’s eyes. “She hasn’t said as much, but I’m pretty sure she does.”

“Yes. And she struggles with what she knows _of_ me through others and what she begins to know _from_ me.” She smiled wryly. “I am not what she expected or probably ever imagined for you.”

Clarke intertwined her fingers with Lexa’s. “No. You’re so much more.”

Lexa smiled again and squeezed her hands. “I believe Titus is having the same difficulties that the Chancellor is.”

She stared at her. “You told him?”

She half-snorted. “He has known for a while. I let him speak about it today.”

“What did he say?”

“He does not understand, but he will do what he can to protect us.”

“He doesn’t understand because I’m _Skaikru_?”

“Yes.” She shrugged. “It would be easier if you were another clan. But that’s not what happened. He also asked why I persisted with pursuing a relationship with you.”

She waited, Lexa’s hands warm in hers, the expression in her eyes somehow both intense and playful.

“I told him because I want to.” She smiled. “He did not expect that.”

She smiled back, heart feeling like it was overflowing. “So what do we do?”

“He will be speaking with Balta and Indra about how to approach the topic when people find out.” She pulled one of her hands free and stroked Clarke’s cheek. “And they will. Some already know, but because we aren’t flaunting it and continue to operate in our respective roles, they don’t see it as political capital to be bargained with.”

Clarke grimaced and Lexa gave her a quick peck on the mouth.

“Patience, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“Not my strong suit.”

“You underestimate yourself again.”

Clarke slid her hands around her waist and rested her head on her shoulder, feeling relaxed for the first time that day, and less stiff. “Do I need to prepare anything in particular for the council gathering tomorrow?”

“No.”

She didn’t push and instead pressed her lips to Lexa’s neck, and let them linger, breathing her in, traces of spice and sweat and whatever that undertone was that was uniquely Lexa, that was imprinted into Clarke’s senses.

“I would like your opinion on the matter after the gathering, however.”

“But aren’t we also voting on a punishment?” she asked, lips still against the warm skin of her neck.

“Yes. But that doesn’t preclude you from telling me your thoughts on the matter once you have.” She pressed her lips to Clarke’s forehead and tightened her embrace and if she could have, Clarke would’ve stayed there forever. But she knew Lexa was tired and probably hungry.

“ _Miya_ ,” Clarke said as she took Lexa’s hands again.

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the command, and Clarke smiled and kissed her before she started walking slowly backward toward the door, bringing Lexa with her.

“ _Miya_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke repeated. “ _Yu ste worout en ai get klin, bilaik yu nou don choj op fou yu don kom hir op_.” 8

She smiled, eyes seeming to spark with amusement. “Does _Wanheda_ fret over me again?”

“Yes, and I know you enjoy it.”

“Oh?”

Clarke stopped and pulled her into a kiss, this one long and slow, and she slid her tongue into Lexa’s mouth, making her groan softly. Clarke nipped her lip and stepped away, leaving her breathing heavily, a heated glint in her eyes that Clarke wanted to fuel.

“That’s me fretting over you,” she said. “And I can tell you enjoyed it,” she added with a smirk.

Lexa’s maddeningly sexy half-smile lifted the side of her mouth but she didn’t say anything as Clarke opened the door and waited for Lexa to precede her into the corridor. As they approached Lexa’s quarters, Balta emerged from the lift carrying a tray of food. She also had her bag slung over her shoulder.

“ _Heda_ ,” she said with a smile. “Clarke.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said as she opened Lexa’s door for her. Lexa gave her an inscrutable look as she went in. The candles in here had already been lit, and Balta set the tray on the table and poured two cups of tea.

“Will you require a meal before first light?” Balta asked, looking first at Lexa then Clarke.

“Tea,” Lexa said. “And something simple. _Mochof_.”

Balta nodded. “May I check your wounds?”

Lexa sighed and took a couple swallows of tea.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke said. “I’ll wait.” She gave her an innocent expression and Balta smiled.

“It will not take long, _Heda_. But I do need to ensure that you are still in working order.”

Lexa shot Clarke a look before she followed Balta into the bathroom. Clarke sat down at the table and stretched her injured leg out as she sipped, trying to let the day flow out of her limbs.

“Clarke,” Balta said from the bathroom and she immediately set her cup down and joined her.

“What is it?” Clarke asked and then she couldn’t say anything else because Lexa stood near the tub in her undergarments and the candlelight played off the lines of the muscles of her arms and torso and spilled softly across her skin. Even her scars were beautiful, a testament to the many reasons for her musculature, from the long, powerful lines of her thighs to the solid breadth of her shoulders. She caught Clarke staring and she raised an eyebrow playfully as a smirk danced on her lips.

Balta appeared not to notice. “I wanted you to see the worst of _Heda_ ’s wounds, that you can track their progress, too,” she said as she unwrapped the bandage on Lexa’s thigh and Clarke redirected her gaze there.

The layers of bandage closest to Lexa’s skin bore a bit of her blood that had soaked through, but not much. Clarke leaned in closer to see the gash—a diagonal slice across the front of Lexa’s right thigh, maybe five inches long. Balta carefully cleaned its edges with a damp cloth. Lexa didn’t move.

“It—” Clarke leaned in again, puzzled. “Why does it look—”

Balta moved so Clarke could position herself for a different angle to see it.

“It looks like it’s more than a couple of days old,” Clarke said, and in fact it appeared to be healing very well though she had seen Nia wound her and cuts like that took at least a few days before they looked like this one.

“ _Sheidjus_.” 9

She looked at Balta. “Her blood? Her blood does this?”

“ _Sha_. Those among us who are _Natblida_ heal faster. It is not something we talk about.”

She nodded. This was why Lexa preferred her own healers to those of _Skaikru_. “Did the _Maunon_ know about _Sheidjus_?”

“I do not know,” Balta said as she applied salve to Lexa’s injury. “But I think perhaps not, or they would have searched. _Sheidjus_ would have helped them live outside _Maun-de_.”

Clarke watched her work, thinking. If Dante had known about Nightblood and some of its properties, he would have increased his campaigns to find those among the Grounders who carried it. “Tam said that Becca was the first _Heda_ , and the first _Natblida_.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow and Balta seemed surprised.

“Tam said Becca came from the sky. Is that true?” Clarke asked.

“We think so,” Balta said. “There are stories that say she fell to the ground in a sky ship, not long after _Praimfiya_.” 10

Sky ship? Clarke looked at Balta. “And she had _Sheidjus_?”

“ _Sha_.” Balta carefully started winding a clean bandage around Lexa’s thigh.

Clarke held one end of the cloth to keep it off the ground. What was Nightblood? If Becca was someone like the people of the Ark, where did she come from? Was she another scientist on another space station who came to Earth after the nuclear devastation? Had she been doing some sort of bioexperimentation on herself?

“What did you mean,” Clarke asked Balta, “when you said that _Sheidjus_ would have helped the _Maunon_ live outside _Maun-de_?”

She glanced up at Lexa before responding. Lexa nodded, as if granting her permission to share this knowledge. “There are stories that Becca’s _Sheidjus_ kept her from _Praimfiya_ sickness,” Balta said. “She was able to be outside after the world died without the worst of the effects that others suffered.”

Clarke stared at her. Nightblood was also a radiation blocker? Did Becca know it had these properties when she came to the ground? And did she introduce it to herself as insurance, hoping it would work but not knowing whether it would? If that was the case, how the hell did she get it into the general population on the ground? What kind of biogenetics did that take? That was definitely something the Mountain Men would have wanted to experiment with. The thought made her ill, because she knew how they would have gone about doing it.

“Now _Heda_ ’s arm,” Balta said as she straightened and carefully loosened the bandage around Lexa’s left biceps.

This wound, too, was healing quickly, and looked like it had been sustained a week ago rather than a couple of days earlier.

“Let me,” Clarke said, and she washed her hands in the basin that Balta had partially filled before she cleaned the smears of dried black blood from Lexa’s arm. She glanced at Lexa’s face before she applied salve to the cut and Lexa flashed her a quick smile, encouraging. Once Clarke finished with the salve, she bandaged her arm again and Lexa flexed, making sure it wasn’t too tight. She grinned, approving.

“Perhaps we can convince Clarke to join the ranks of the healers at Polis,” she said to Balta as she put her shirt and trousers back on.

“I do not think it would take much work to do so,” Balta said with a chuckle as she replaced the salves and bandages in her bag. “ _Choj op_ , _Heda_ ,” she added, and Lexa waited for Clarke to accompany her back to the table. Once there, Clarke gestured for her to sit down.

Once they were settled, Lexa picked up her cup of tea. “You’re right,” she said. “I do like it when you fret over me.”

“I know.” Clarke flashed her a teasing smirk before she placed a covered bowl of stew in front of her then cut a slice of bread off the loaf Balta had brought and handed it to her. “Eat,” she said. “You’re no good to any of us hungry and tired.”

Lexa chuckled and dipped the bread into the stew and took a bite of it.

Satisfied that she was, in fact, going to eat, Clarke cut herself a piece of bread and sliced bits of cheese off the small block that Balta had placed on the tray near the loaf.

“Do you require anything else?” Balta asked when she emerged from the bathroom.

“No, _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said with a quick smile.

“Then I will see you before first light. _Reshop_ , _yu tu_.” 11

“ _En yu_ ,” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded. “ _Reshop_.”

Balta smiled and left and Clarke sipped her tea while Lexa ate. “I’ll know more about what’s going on at Arkadia when I get there,” she said after Lexa was nearly done with her stew.

“Yes.” She reached for a piece of cheese.

“I want to find out what the mood is, too, with regard to you and the _kongeda_.”

She nodded as she chewed. “You do not believe _Abi kom Skaikru_?”

The question was genuine. Clarke poured them both more tea. “My mother isn’t always attuned to larger currents. Kane is better at that. He was glad to talk to you tonight, and I didn’t hear anything in his voice that would suggest that my mom is wrong, but sometimes it’s better for me to see things myself.”

Lexa smiled as she drank.

“What?”

“You say you have no skill with politics, but you are quite good with strategy.”

She shrugged. “Mora and Tam will also be able to get a sense of the general mood, as well.”

“Mmm.” Lexa said as she reached for another piece of cheese.

“Which I know you did on purpose.”

“Hmm?” She raised her eyebrows, innocent.

Clarke laughed. “Thank you. I was hoping you would send someone with me.”

Lexa stopped eating and looked at her. “You have but to ask.”

Clarke shrugged again.

“Even though it is proper to offer to send warriors with clan representatives when they return to their homes, I would send them with you regardless. And because you are not going to be there for more than a few days, it made little sense for them not to remain and escort you back to Polis.”

“That’s the only reason they’re staying? Convenience?” Clarke smiled and nudged Lexa’s bare foot under the table.

“No, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , that is not the only reason.” Lexa sipped her tea and Clarke scooted her chair closer.

“What other reason could there possibly be?”

Lexa set her cup down and took her hand. She kissed the tips of Clarke’s fingers and stared into her eyes. “You.”

Her breath caught in her throat.

“There isn’t a moment of any day that you’re not on my mind,” Lexa continued, “that I don’t wonder what you’re doing or thinking when I’m not near you. The times that I’m not near you, I long for the times that I am.” She gently opened Clarke’s hand and kissed her palm and chills raced up Clarke’s arm. “I want to make sure that you have my protection wherever you go, and that you will always have an ally with you if I cannot be there.” Her gaze drilled into Clarke’s, almost mesmerizing. “But if you do not want that from me, I will respect your wishes.”

She would. She always had, since they’d met. No matter the chasms that had once been between them, Lexa had always accepted what she wanted.

Clarke pulled her hand free and cupped Lexa’s face, feeling very close to tears. She pressed her lips to Lexa’s, almost chaste, and rested her forehead against hers. “Everything you willingly give to me, I accept,” she said softly, caressing her cheek.

Lexa leaned into her touch, and closed her eyes, a smile at the corner of her mouth, her hands on Clarke’s thighs. After a few moments, she relaxed even more and made a contented noise. Clarke gently pulled away and Lexa’s eyes snapped open, a question in them.

“ _Miya_ ,” Clarke said. “ _Yu gaf riden in_.” 12 She expected Lexa to half-heartedly refuse, so ingrained was it in her to always be the one to take care of others, but instead, she nodded and allowed Clarke to pull her to her feet and guide her to the bed. Once there, Lexa pulled her shirt off and slipped out of her trousers. Clarke took them and draped them over the back of her couch and Lexa sat down on the bed.

Clarke smiled and leaned down to peck her on the cheek before she undid Lexa’s bindings. “Lie down on your stomach,” she said with another quick kiss when she had taken her bindings off and set them aside.

Lexa looked at her, puzzled, but did as she asked and Clarke went into the bathroom for the jar of scented oil Lexa kept on a shelf and a drying cloth. She unscrewed the top and set both the jar and the lid on the table next to Lexa’s side of the bed and slid out of her trousers, adding them to the couch. She kept her shirt on because the room was chilly.

“Does that position hurt your leg?” Clarke asked as she kneeled on the bed. The mattress gave just enough that her knee didn’t hurt.

“No.” Lexa eyed her from her position, curious.

“Good. Let me know if anything I do hurts you.” Clarke straddled her hips and reached for the jar of oil. She dipped two fingers in and smeared oil down Lexa’s back. Lexa hissed between her teeth.

Clarke stopped. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. Just a little cold.” She chuckled. “Continue. Please.”

“As you wish, _Heda_ ,” Clarke said with a smile.

“Although I fail to see how doing this will help me sleep,” she said, tone sultry.

“Trust me.”

She chuckled. “ _Wanheda_ has spoken.”

“And you know what that means.”

“Mmm.”

She smiled, and twice more she dipped her fingers in the oil and smeared them down Lexa’s back before she set the jar aside and rubbed her hands together, smelling traces of wildflowers and something citrusy. When her hands were oiled and warm, she leaned over and rubbed some of the oil into Lexa’s back then started gently rubbing her shoulders. In response, Lexa released her breath in a long, contented sigh.

Clarke worked on her shoulders for a while, delighting in how Lexa’s skin and muscles felt beneath her palms, and loving the way she relaxed beneath her ministrations. She moved her hands to her upper back and worked there for a while, mindful of bruises, then reapplied oil to her hands and Lexa’s back.

“Clarke.” Her voice was sleepy and slurred with relaxation.

“Hmm?” She gently rubbed her mid-back, careful of a few scratches.

“ _Mochof_.”

She smiled. “It’s my pleasure.” And indeed it was, having Lexa’s body beneath her hands and between her thighs, and seeing the glint of candlelight off her oiled back and shoulders. She dug her thumbs gently into the muscles along her spine and worked her way back up to her neck, then down to her lower back. After spending some time working on that area, she repositioned herself so she was straddling Lexa’s calves. The next application of oil went onto the backs of her thighs and Clarke started to knead the muscles of her left, using both hands.

Lexa let out a long, soft moan and Clarke smiled again and a few minutes later, got the same response when she worked on her other thigh, careful of the bandage, and then on her calves. When these muscles, too, had loosened, she stopped and positioned herself cross-legged at the bottom of the bed.

“Turn over,” she said, “if you can,” she added, teasing.

Lexa did, a slow, languid movement. She regarded Clarke, her eyes only half-open as she settled and once she had, Clarke started to massage her right foot, admiring the view she had of her bare torso. Again Lexa moaned and Clarke loved the sound, loved that she was the cause of it. She worked on that foot for a few more minutes then worked on the left and by the time she was done Lexa was so thoroughly relaxed that she barely moved when Clarke got up to wipe her hands off. She did open her eyes and at her expression Clarke leaned over and kissed her.

“ _Nou get yu daun_. _Ai na kom daun_.” 13

Lexa smiled and it was so adorable that Clarke stared at her for a few moments before she took the oil back to the bathroom and prepared for bed. When she finished, she removed the rest of her clothing. Lexa had gotten under the furs and Clarke slid in next to her, glad to discover that she, too, had taken off the last of her clothing.

Clarke spooned her, her arm around her and hand on her abdomen. Lexa snuggled even harder against her and entwined their fingers and Clarke closed her eyes, Lexa’s body heat washing over her with the faint smell of wildflowers. And she knew, unequivocably in that moment, that Lexa had her heart, that she would always have it, and it was exactly how she wanted things to be. She pressed another kiss to Lexa’s shoulder, settled more comfortably against her, and relaxed into sleep.

 

7 _Tel Balta op, bilaik Heda na nou choj op_ : Tell Balta that _Heda_ will now eat.  
8 _Miya…Yu ste worout* en ai get klin, bilaik yu nou don choj op fou you don kom hir op_ : Come [this is a command meaning “come”/”come with”; I think you’ve seen it already]. You’re tired and I know you didn’t eat before you came here. [I made up the term “worout” for “tired,” since Peterson doesn’t seem to have a term for it. I derived mine from “worn out”.]  
9 _Sheidjus_ : dark blood; refers literally to the black blood that flows in Nightblood veins as opposed to the term “Nightblood,” which refers to the people who have _Sheidjus_ [you’ve seen this one before].  
10 _Praimfiya_ : nuclear apocalypse [literally “major fire”]  
11 _Reshop_ , _yu tu_ : Good night, you two. [Balta is taking some liberties here, dispensing with her normal formality when dealing with Lexa and Clarke, and subtly acknowledging that they are a pair.]  
12 _Miya_ … _Yu gaf riden in_ : Come…You need sleep  
13 _Nou get yu daun_. _Ai na kom daun_ : Don’t worry. I’ll be right back. [literally, “I’ll return.”]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! So I just had to put some more Clexa time in because DAMMIT I'm a sucker for them! *feelz* But before that, we did have some tension with Abby. Because Abby, amirite? I suspect she's not sure what to do with the fact that her daughter may be hooked up with the Commander of the clans, so it makes her a little more problematic, but on the other hand, she's also working on taking some responsibility for her screw-ups. And lucky for her Lexa doesn't take her abrasiveness personally.
> 
> So I may go another two chapters before we're done, though I probably could just keep on writing. LOL But I think it's a good idea to stop and make this my official reboot of S3. Like I said, I'll probably do some other stuff, but I'm gonna need to take a break once it's done.
> 
> Let's shoot for another couple of weeks for the next installment -- I'll try to post before Labor Day because that's DragonCon weekend and I won't be writing at all since I'll be on the ground there. Maybe I'll see you! :D I'll keep everybody posted.
> 
> Thank you so much to all of you who have been with me from the beginning, and to those who joined me after that. The more the merrier! Thanks for all the comments and kudos -- they mean a lot to me. And you can always find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) (where you can ask me ANYTHING! OMG!)
> 
> A few songs that joined me during the writing of this chapter: Pvris, "What's Wrong"; The Heydaze, "Hurt Like Hell"; The Ludlow Thieves, "Weight"; Raphaella, "Turn Around" (this one was prominent in the last scene. Heh.)


	71. Duty Still Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much to do! Council meeting, tour of Polis, and dealing with the natrona (i.e. Jax is a dick). Oh, and Lexa's a little down because Clarke is about to leave for Arkadia.

There was never enough time, Lexa thought as she buckled her thigh guards then pulled her boots on. Never enough time to spend with Clarke, never enough time to hold her close, to hear the rich tones of her laugh and voice, to see the hunger in her eyes that she directed toward her—something Lexa never thought could happen. And yet, here they were, the bond between them strengthening every day, the heat between them a constant.

Such a thing had only been a dream months ago—maybe even just a thought that prodded her after she met Clarke for the first time. A thought that pulled her from sleep more than once and left her wondering why this woman left her both unsettled and intrigued.

Easy enough to explain now, but months ago, she fought the way her body reacted when Clarke was near, fought the current that coursed through her blood when Clarke held her gaze, the blue of her eyes like the sky that had sent her plummeting to the ground.

She put her coat on, newly cleaned and mended, and buckled her light armor harness around her waist. That done, she then buckled her left shoulder guard into place, thinking more about the ways her path had crossed Clarke’s. She had stopped fighting her reactions when she leaned in for their first kiss, tentative and gentle but with a promise for more if she wanted it. She didn’t, then. She refused the Commander of the twelve clans and spoke her truth and though it stung, Lexa admired her for it.

Still admired her for it, because Clarke was honest with her feelings, and honest in how she expressed them, even with her, the Commander. She moved her arms, making sure that the confines of her coat weren’t going to irritate the injury on her arm.

Someone knocked at her door. “ _Heda_ , _teik ai min op_? 1 came Balta’s voice.

“ _Sha_.”

She came in, wearing a dark blue dress, different clothing than she had worn when she brought food earlier and checked Lexa’s wounds. “Your arm?” she asked as she approached.

“Fine.”

Balta checked the sleeve of Lexa’s coat. “It is mended well.” She then helped her arrange the deep red sash beneath her shoulder guard so that one end hung in front and the other in back, nearly touching the floor.

“The council gathers,” she said as Lexa pulled her gloves on.

“Izik?”

“He waits, as well.”

“Who did he talk to last night?”

“Only his family members that accompanied him and two of his guards.”

Lexa arranged the cuffs of her jacket over her gloves, which didn’t cover her fingers and instead ended at the first knuckle of each. “Who did the guards talk to?”

“Each other, mostly.”

“About?”

Balta smiled. “According to the servants Titus and I arranged to ensure _Delfikru_ ’s comfort, the guards are not pleased with Izik’s leadership. As you suspected.” She fastened a leather gauntlet around Lexa's left forearm. “They think he is lazy and vain, and won’t address matters if he feels they are beneath him.”

Lexa moved her right arm so Balta could better access it. “Even petty matters must be addressed. They can easily become much larger if not dealt with.” She had watched the Commander prior to her Ascension ignore some complaints from tower staff about a particular servant until finally the servant nearly raped a young woman. Had it not been for another servant, he would have been successful. At that point, the previous Commander dealt with the situation. Swiftly and brutally, but the damage had been done and he had lost trust in the eyes of tower staff, that their concerns had not initially been taken seriously.

“Mmm,” Balta said as she finished with the gauntlet. “I have also made arrangements for _Skaikru_ to tour parts of Polis following the gathering.”

“ _Os_.” Lexa flexed her wrists to make sure the gauntlets were snug, but not too tight. “The Chancellor may wish to check the wounded before she leaves.”

“I ensured that there was time for her to do so.” She smiled, conspiratorial. “It may not be a bad thing for her to spend some time away from Clarke.”

“No, definitely not. But once the tours are completed, I would meet with Clarke, the Chancellor, and the three _natrona_ in the audience chamber.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“ _Mochof_.”

“There have been other banishments lifted soon after they were implemented,” she said.

Lexa looked at her, not surprised at this turn in the conversation. “But not of a clan so new to the ground.”

“True. Still, _Wanheda_ ’s opinion carries weight. And it will continue to do so.”

“The Chancellor is concerned that lifting the banishments so soon after they were implemented will reflect badly on her and on me.”

“Perhaps with some. But you are _Heda_ and can determine the conditions around lifting them. There may be a few among other clans who will not be pleased, but any decision you make about anything has its critics. And no one will dispute that Clarke was taken hostage and received aid from two of the _natrona_. She also did not ask to lift the banishment off one of them.”

“She does not wish to lift it at all on that one, and if he were not new to the ground, she would not.”

Balta regarded her for a few moments. “No matter what decision Clarke makes in this regard, the Chancellor will not be satisfied. Nor will many among _Skaikru_. There is no easy answer to this situation. Had events not fallen so closely together, you and I would not be discussing this.”

Lexa nodded. “But it does not stop the Chancellor from interrogating Clarke’s original decision.”

Balta approached and adjusted Lexa’s sash. “The Chancellor is also Clarke’s mother. It is an old pattern for her, to question Clarke’s decision-making, even when it is past.”

“It seems a pattern among many _Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said, tone wry, “to do this with her.”

“She is a leader. She will face challenge from many quarters. She is strong enough to weather it.” Balta brushed at something on Lexa’s other shoulder then stepped back as Lexa turned and went into the bathroom so she could affix her gearwheel decoration to her forehead and apply kohl to her eyes. No facepaint, since she would be functioning primarily as a mediator.

Her muscles still felt loose, and she had slept more soundly than she had in a while, and she knew it was because of Clarke. Not just the massage, but more what it represented, in the time and care she had taken, and the deep sense of peace she had given her, something Lexa had woken up with and still carried. There hadn’t been enough time earlier for much more than a few quick kisses and caresses, but it was a gift, waking up entangled with her, and having a few quiet minutes to watch her sleep.

Like after the _pauna_ enclosure, Lexa had thought, watching her that morning as the light from the remaining candles dusted Clarke’s hair. Even then, antagonistic as they were, Clarke didn’t leave her behind and she then immobilized her shoulder so she could move more comfortably. A political decision on Clarke’s part initially, but Lexa felt something else stirring beneath the flares of temper and the unacknowledged grief and pain they both carried. Something…hopeful? Or at least something tentatively comfortable. Clarke could be an ally, she sensed, because she understood what taking the reins of leadership entailed, and all the weight and criticism doing so brought.

But watching Clarke sleep that day, knowing that she had put her trust in her without a second thought, even with the fraught history they shared in such a short time—it left her off-balance. She had stared at Clarke sleeping there near the fire, and she wondered why Clarke allowed her to watch over her, after everything that had happened since the drop ship had come to the ground. It would have been easy for her to kill the woman who fell from the sky. Easy to have been done with her and the rest of _Skaikru_. But she didn’t. And even then, propped against a tree just a couple of paces away, she knew she wouldn’t, because there was something about _Klark kom Skaikru_ that resonated with her, as utterly unlikely as it seemed.

And now here they were, in spite of everything. Or maybe because of it.

She finished applying kohl to her eyes and wiped her fingers off before she checked her braids. Satisfied, she returned to the outer room where Balta had been extinguishing candles as the sun raised itself above the forest.

“ _Yu ste ogud_ , _Heda_?” 2

“ _Sha_ ,” she said as she slid her knives into their sheaths.

Balta moved to the door and Lexa followed, a familiar cold calm settling over her in preparation for the gathering. She stepped onto the lift and stared straight ahead, hands hanging loosely at her sides as they descended. The only sounds were the breathing of the four guards and Balta and the soft creak of leather as they shifted their weight.

The lift stopped and two guards got off first before Lexa and they waited for her to walk before they fell into step on either side. Other guards lined the corridor to the audience chamber and all nodded and murmured “ _Heda_ ” as she passed. She noticed a few quick approving smiles as she walked by.

“ _Heda komba raun_ ,”3 one of the guards at the doors to the chamber announced as she and her party drew closer, and she heard movement in the chamber. When she entered, all inside were standing. Titus and Indra had taken positions on the dais to the left of the chair, and two warriors had done the same to the right. Light streamed through the windows, throwing patterned shadows across the dais. She strode to it, ascended, and turned to face the audience.

“I bid you welcome, _kongedakru_ , though the circumstances are somber. We have come together this day to determine the punishments of two men, _Danyel en Mykal kom Delfikru_.”

Izik had been placed near the dais, and she turned her gaze to him momentarily.

“We have with us _heda Izik kom Delfikru_ , who will speak to this matter, as will two who accompanied him, _Liyon en Freya kom Delfikru_. Are there any among us who object to these proceedings? Speak now.” It was procedure to say that, but Lexa adhered to it because she understood the value in ritual, and how it put participants at ease in circumstances such as this, that there would be no surprises if she could help it.

“Very well.” She sat down, and everyone else did, too. “Let us begin.” She swept the room with her gaze, gauging the mood. Serious and respectful. Clarke sat near the back, close to Garret and Gani. Balta had placed her well, though she suspected the two of them may have taken it upon themselves to sit there. Balta sat up front, near the dais

The guards at the entrance moved aside as Danyel and Mykal were brought in, two warriors each. Their hands were bound. The guards walked them to Lexa’s left, and they stood near the base of the dais, Mykal staring at his feet and Danyel glancing around, expression blank. The warriors at the room’s entrance closed the doors and Lexa waited a few moments before speaking.

“ _Kongedakru_ , you see before you _Danyel en Mykal kom Delfikru_. Both have admitted that they sought to either incapacitate or kill me with bombs acquired from _plana_ Nia, who in turn worked with _natrona kom Skaikru_ and the last _Maunon_.” She spoke dispassionately, but Mykal shifted nervously. “Their bombs injured many and killed two.” She leaned forward to punctuate her words. “Danyel had been working with Nia for some time, hoping to curry her favor. In event she was successful in removing me as _Heda_ , he hoped to attain a position of power in Nia’s purview.”

At that, Danyel looked directly at her, chin up, almost defiant. His eyes were still blackened and his cheek and upper lip were still swollen from their last meeting.

“Mykal, in collusion with Danyel, planted the bombs. All of you have seen the damage, whether flesh or stone. We thus gather here to determine punishment.” She paused. “We will now hear the thoughts of _Izik kom Delfikru_.” She nodded at him and he stood, already nervous, from the way his fingers toyed with his belt.

“ _Heda en kongedakru_ , it is with a heavy heart that I stand before you this day, with the knowledge that a man I trusted—indeed whose brother I trusted with my life—engaged in such actions. I feel the sorrow of the families who lost loved ones as a result of his actions and those of his nephew, and the anger of those left to try to understand.”

Lexa watched him, expressionless. He was a decent orator, for all his possible flaws as a leader. That and a bit of natural charisma clearly served him well when his clan chose him as _heda_. But below the flash was a lack of substance, and for a moment, she almost sympathized with the resentment Danyel must have felt when Izik was chosen to replace his fallen brother over him.

“I have spoken with many among _Delfikru_ about this matter.” He paused and sighed. Purely an affectation, but probably effective in the right circumstances. “And my heart is made heavier because the only proper punishment for both men is death.”

Mykal made a small noise in his throat that was almost a squeak. He bit his lip and directed his gaze again to the floor. Danyel stared, unmoving, at Izik.

“I would yield now, _Heda_ , to the words of _Liyon kom Delfikru_.”

Lexa nodded and Izik sat down as Liyon stood, clearly nervous. He rubbed his palms on his shirt.

“Speak, Liyon,” she said, softening her tone just a bit.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” He cleared his throat and turned to look at the other council members. Clarke’s brow was furrowed in a way that meant she was considering various perspectives to something. “ _Mochof_ , _kongedakru_. _Ai laik Liyon kom Delfikru_ , brother of _Danyel kom Delfikru_.”

A current of surprise coursed through the room.

“I come as a man torn by grief, who lost one brother to battle and another to treason. The last thing I ever imagined myself doing in these years of my life would be standing before you and agreeing that two members of my own family did things so egregious that the only possible recompense is death.”

Danyel may have paled slightly. Mykal looked up, clearly shocked. He had no doubt thought that his age might shield him from execution.

“I know what some of you may be thinking,” Liyon said, and his voice strengthened. “Danyel’s death you understand. He plotted against _Heda_. He intended to kill her or help _plana_ Nia do so. Mykal, however, is young. Perhaps he does not know his own mind. This is what I suspect is in your thoughts.” He cleared his throat again, but straightened. “I will say that this is something I, too, would think, were I in your positions. But I have known _Mykal kom Delfikru_ all of his life. I have seen how he manipulates and destroys in a quest for attention and power. He is not the warrior his father was. Rather, he is the thief who takes from many and blames others, sowing dissent through poisonous gossip and rumors. For many years, he has been this way.”

Mykal stared at him, a flicker of hatred in his eyes. Lexa regretted not giving him the treatment she had Danyel.

“I underestimated the damage one young man could do, given information or lies—wielded like weapons. In some ways, it may be that Mykal may have influenced Danyel, rather than the other way around, though I think it is more a matter of sharing bad blood.” He stopped for a moment and a tense silence hung in the air. “It pains me to say this, but I am glad his father is not alive to see the path both his brother and son have taken.”

Mykal had clenched his fists and Lexa looked at the warrior closest to him. He gave her the slightest of nods, indicating that he was watching him.

Liyon’s expression was of a man in emotional turmoil, his jaw tight and posture rigid. “I would now yield to the words of _Freya kom Delfikru_.”

Lexa nodded and Liyon sat, clearly grateful to do so. Freya stood, and she gave Liyon’s shoulder a quick squeeze. She had tied her hair back, and though dark circles lingered around her eyes, she seemed prepared to address the council.

“Speak, Freya,” Lexa said.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” She drew herself up straighter and faced the members of the council. “ _Kongedakru_ , _ai laik Freya kom Delfikru en ai laik Mykals sis_.” 4

Again, a current of surprise seemed to flicker through those gathered.

“It is not something I am currently proud of.”

The glint in Mykal’s eyes shifted from angry to dangerous. Again Lexa exchanged a glance with the warrior closest to him. Indra moved closer to Danyel.

“I am proud of my father and my uncle Liyon,” Freya continued, voice clear. “Many of you remember my father, and many of you probably have fond memories of him as a man, a warrior, and a leader. I can only hope that I am able to go forward with even a small bit of his legacy in the wake of these terrible events. That another of my uncles and my brother sought to bring about such pain and destruction…it is a deep wound in my heart.”

All the council members watched her, seemingly riveted.

“I stand before you to tell you that Liyon spoke true. Mykal has caused both emotional and physical pain and damage to many within _Delfikru_. If anything, observing him do this over the years has demonstrated how one person can sow discord. My father tried to redirect my brother’s strange need for power over others and sometimes it worked. But most of the time, it did not.”

Clever, this Freya, ensuring that the council wonder how it was that one young man could create such chaos. A subtle condemnation of leadership, and Izik knew it, from how stiff he was sitting. He didn’t look at her, which also sent messages to the council.

“I say to you, members of the council, that when my father died, we thought perhaps Danyel would be able to exert some influence over Mykal. Unfortunately, it was not the influence we had hoped, and now we are gathered here to witness the results.”

Lexa studied Freya. Unlike Mykal, she seemed to have inherited the better parts of her father. Perhaps _Delfikru_ might yet find another leader from his line.

“I stand before you now faced with the worst decision anyone should ever have to make. No one ever thinks that they will be faced with deciding the life or death of not only a clan member but a family member. Yet, here we are.” She paused, as if gathering strength. “A choice I never thought I would make. But make it I have. Death is the only correct decision, given the crimes perpetrated and the lies told to perpetuate them.” She looked at Lexa, gaze steady, then at Danyel and Mykal.

Danyel stared at her, clearly shocked, while Mykal had gone even more pale.

She shifted her gaze back to Lexa, who nodded and she sat down.

Lexa waited a few moments before she spoke. “It is never easy to be faced with such a choice, whether as relative or clan member. Would any of the council wish to speak?”

“ _Heda_ , I would.”

“ _Sha_ , _Garret kom Boudalan Kru_.”

He stood and all gazes turned to him. “It pains me that such a decision has to be made this day, but it is clear to me that it was important enough that family of the two accused have joined us with their thoughts. None of us takes a decision of this magnitude lightly, and this one especially so because the actions of Danyel and Mykal affected many beyond their own clan. It is thus appropriate that this decision be brought to the council.”

Lexa remained silent. Garret did not often speak at council gatherings, and she suspected in this case he was because Atlan wasn’t present. His views were often in line with hers.

“I believe I express the will of those gathered here,” he continued, “when I say that as tragic as it is, I support the decision that all of the _Delfikru_ contingent have voiced. Both Danyel and Mykal willfully acted to hurt or kill many in the tower. They sought to kill _Heda_ and worked with _plana_ Nia to attempt to bring this to bear.” He stared hard at Danyel and then at Mykal. “I thus leave it to _Delfikru_ to honorably carry out the sentence.” He nodded at Lexa and sat down, amidst a few soft murmurs of agreement from others.

Clarke was watching Freya, who sat rigid, face tear-streaked. She felt the crushing weight of this decision, but remained unwavering in its wake.

“Does anyone else wish to speak?” Lexa asked.

Silence.

“If there are any among the council who do not agree with the punishment, speak.”

No one did.

She turned her gaze to Danyel. “In accordance with custom, _Danyel kom Delfikru_ , you may now speak.”

He glared at her, the heat of his rage almost palpable. He turned to the council. “You could have had greatness,” he said, voice shaking with anger. “You could have been governed by a true leader. But you chose _this_.” He almost spat the word as he jerked his chin toward Lexa.

She watched him, expression dispassionate, as if considering what clothing to wear for the day.

“She will destroy us all,” Danyel said, voice rising almost to a shout. One of the guards stepped closer to him. “I only wish I would live to see it, that I could enjoy the satisfaction of all of you crawling to me begging for my help.”

The guard put his hand roughly on Danyel’s shoulder, and he stopped talking, though his glare didn’t diminish.

Lexa’s expression didn’t change. “ _Mykal kom Delfikru_ , you may now speak,” she said, tone devoid of emotion.

Unlike Danyel, he chose to remain silent.

“Very well. _Izik kom Delfikru_ , the matter is decided. You are free to return to your home village tomorrow and carry out the sentence. Given that Danyel was the _Delfikru_ representative to the clan council, and given that _Roan kom Azgeda_ will be facing the _kongeda_ within the next nine days for entrance, I request that you appoint an interim representative until you decide who will represent _Delfikru_ in the future.”

Izik stood. “ _Heda_ , I suggest _Freya kom Delfikru_ as the interim representative.”

Freya looked at him, clearly surprised. Liyon, as well, appeared caught off guard. Lexa sat back and cocked her head. Interesting. Perhaps Izik was attempting to stave off more criticism from Freya. And perhaps he thought if she was not at the village, she would not be privy to what he did. It would also separate her from Liyon, which might be part of Izik’s plan.

“Are you comfortable with this?” Lexa asked her.

“ _Heda_ , I am honored to serve the _kongeda_ in any capacity, but—”

“ _Heda_ ,” Liyon said.

“Allow Freya to finish her statement,” Lexa said, a gentle but firm rebuke. She motioned for her to continue.

“ _Heda_ , I do not have much experience in such matters.”

“What matters are those?”

“Matters of policy and diplomacy on a scale such as what the clan council deals with.” She lapsed into silence and Lexa nodded at Liyon.

“ _Moba_ ,5 _Heda_ ,” he said, “for my previous interruption. I wished then, as I do now, to contradict Freya’s statement. I and others of _Delfikru_ have often sought her counsel, which is always fair, even if it is not what we wish to hear.” He turned to Freya. “Surely you can serve in this interim capacity? It is not as if you have no experience dealing with differing views or motivations.”

Lexa flicked a glance at the _Delfikru_ warriors who sat next to Izik. They watched the exchange with interest, and possibly hope. There might be potential there, to tap a warrior network to ensure that Liyon had allies were Freya to serve in an interim capacity and possibly permanent. “Freya? Do you wish time to consider this decision?”

“Please, _Heda_. Might I have until this afternoon?”

Lexa turned her gaze to Izik. “Is that amenable?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Very well. Please alert me as to the decision before sundown.” She looked at the gathered council members. “Are there any objections to Freya serving as an interim representative, should that be her decision? Speak now.”

No one did. Clarke’s expression was alert and pensive, and Lexa wondered what her thoughts were regarding the _Delfikru_ contingent.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said. “Decisions like this are never the ones we wish to make, though they are the ones we must make. I appreciate the time and thought _heda Izik kom Delfikru_ has invested in it, and also the time and thought that both _Liyon en Freya kom Delfikru_ have offered, as well.” She stood. “The council is adjourned.” She caught Indra’s eye, and Indra nodded and motioned for the warriors charged with Danyel and Mykal to take them out of the room.

“Coward,” Mykal said to Freya as a warrior pushed him forward.

The talking and motion in the room stopped.

“Coward,” Mykal repeated. “You’ll call for my death then stay in Polis so you don’t have to participate in it. No blood on your hands,” he taunted. “I’m sure Father would be proud.” He jerked away from the guards and stepped toward her.

Freya moved quickly, drew her knife and pressed the blade to Mykal’s throat. A guard tried to pull her hand away but Lexa raised her hand, stopping him. She motioned for all to stand down so she could observe what Freya would do.

“Coward?” Freya said to Mykal, tone hard. “Who is the one among us who slips knives of lies into people’s backs through subterfuge, who has never had the courage to accept responsibility for his webs of deceit? Typical, that you would murder people with a bomb, designed to let you slip away in whatever disguise you wore.” She gripped his chin with one hand and turned his head, exposing more of his throat. “If I accept Izik and Liyon’s wishes to remain in Polis as interim representative, no, I will not be able to partake in your execution. That doesn’t make me a coward. Only unfortunate that I cannot participate.” She drew the tip of her blade down Mykal’s throat, leaving a trail of blood. He squirmed, but guards held him on either side and he couldn’t break the grip of her hand on his chin.

Izik’s eyes widened, as did Liyon’s.

“ _Dison fostaim kodon ste ain_ ,” she said through clenched teeth, and she wiped her blade on his shirt, a contemptuous gesture, as blood ran down his neck. “ _Ai ban raun ostof kom yu gon moun_.” 6

The _Delfikru_ warriors nodded in approval when she stepped back and sheathed her knife then turned and addressed Lexa.

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Ai don pul jus raun en yun wogeda_.” 7 She bowed her head.

“ _Ai don teik yu in_.” 8

Freya looked up at her, relieved.

“ _Oso na chich op fou enodei_ ,” Lexa said, and Freya recognized it as a dismissal and glanced at Liyon, who moved over to her and escorted her from the room, trailed by Izik and the _Delfikru_ warriors.

Lexa nodded at the guards with Danyel and Mykal, and they hauled them out of the room.

Most of the council members filed out, as well, though Ferris and Clarke remained.

“ _Heda_ , I would look into a few matters,” Titus said.

“ _Sha_.” He was going to try to determine what sort of sway Izik held over _Delfikru_ and no doubt he would try to learn more about Freya.

He glided from the room, feet hidden by his robe and she descended the dais to join Ferris, Indra, and Clarke on the floor. And the closer Clarke was to her, the more her body reacted in unexpected ways, as sparks shot through her chest and down her back. With an effort, she kept her gaze from wandering below Clarke’s chin.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said by way of formal greeting but her voice always made every word she said especially rich to Lexa’s ears.

She gave Clarke a nod and a half-smile.

“ _Heda_ , I will send a scout to accompany yours to _Delfikru_ to observe the punishment in official capacity,” Ferris said.

“ _Mochof_. Indra, I would like that scout to be Wash.”

She nodded. “It will be done, _Heda_.”

“Thoughts?” Lexa asked Clarke, and both Ferris and Indra looked at her, too. “Speak freely.”

Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I would also be interested in your thoughts,” Ferris said.

“Okay. But the truth is, I don’t know much about _Delfikru_. What I did know prior to this gathering is because of brief conversations I’ve had about Danyel and Mykal.”

Lexa waited, sensing that she had more to say.

“From watching today, though, it seems Izik isn’t popular with Freya or Liyon. I’m not sure why Izik would suggest Freya for interim representative, unless it’s to keep her separated from Liyon.”

“I had the same thought,” Ferris said, with a quick smile at Clarke. “Although Freya seems more than capable of being an effective representative.”

“All the more reason to keep her away from _Delfikru_.” Lexa toyed with the hilt of one of her knives. “She challenged Izik yesterday, and all but said his leadership is ineffective in some ways. Liyon appears to agree. Izik clearly was not expecting either of them to support death for Mykal, which leads me to wonder why the two of them kept their wishes quiet until they spoke with me yesterday.”

“Liyon said that Mykal was able to cause problems by spreading rumors and lies. How did that work?” Clarke asked.

“In the conversation yesterday, she and Liyon both discussed how Mykal would use those to drive people apart, and they tried to put a stop to it, but received no help from Izik. Which they made apparent,” Lexa added, tone dry.

“The warriors from _Delfikru_ are not pleased with Izik’s leadership, either.”

They all looked at Indra.

“Explain,” Lexa said.

“Warriors talk amongst themselves, and even if they think they are being careful, they still reveal hints of their true feelings. The _Delfikru_ warriors expressed some envy about the effectiveness of leadership here and among other clans, and admired the morale among them. One hoped for a better _Delfikru_ representative.” Indra frowned, but it was the frown she used when she was thinking.

“Perhaps they are a little looser than we give them credit for,” Lexa said and Clarke cocked her head, waiting for her to continue. “They may wish others to know that they are not pleased with _Delfikru_ leadership.”

“Or they want us to think that,” Clarke said and Lexa smiled that she had brought that up, considering every possibility.

“A thought I entertained, as well. It is something we are examining.”

Indra nodded. “ _Os_.”

“Very well,” Lexa said. “Please make arrangements for scouts to accompany Izik. I also want two warriors to go, as well, as a show of good faith and protection.” And to ensure that Danyel and Mykal made it back to the village for reckoning, though Izik would most likely not test her in the wake of Nia’s death. Still, they didn’t know how far Danyel’s plot had dug into the roots of _Delfikru_ , and Lexa was not going to leave any angle unexamined.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Indra said. “I also wish to tell you that there is much talk among the warriors about the festival.”

“Oh?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“ _Sha_. And all are extremely excited and already making plans for games.”

Lexa smiled again, glad that they were thinking of recreation, that there would be time made for enjoyment. “I trust that you are coordinating?”

“ _Sha_. And Val. Balta and Titus are, as well. We have sent messengers to the other clans, informing them that we plan to start festivities seven days after _Azgeda_ enters the _kongeda_.”

“We will have a very full city,” Lexa said, thinking about the logistics.

“And we are planning for that.” Ferris smiled. “ _Trishana_ will send people to help prepare areas outside the city for camping. “Garret has already sent for some of his people to help, as well, and Atlan has said that Luna will be sending some.”

Lexa kept her expression neutral. “I don’t recall that _Floukru_ has ever participated in a festival here in official capacity.” When Atlan returned, she would discuss this news with her.

“Not since before you Ascended,” Indra said.

“And Gani is also bringing in people to help,” Ferris said. “I am waiting to hear from the other clans.” He looked at Clarke.

“ _Skaikru_ will provide whatever help we can. Whatever you think we can do,” she said. “I’m returning to Arkadia tomorrow and I’ll be speaking with the council there about all that’s happened and of course we will be discussing the festivities.”

“It has been a while, _Heda_ , since we had a celebration of this magnitude.” Ferris’s eyes seemed to twinkle, though she detected a hint of relief and fatigue, too.

“There seems to be much to celebrate,” she said. “And I’m sure we’ll find something that will make even Indra smile.”

Ferris and Clarke laughed as Indra tried to scowl. She was unsuccessful and Lexa couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Indra so relaxed. She hoped it would linger a bit longer.

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa turned at the sound of Balta’s voice from the doorway. “ _Sha_.”

“It seems a good time to show _Skaikru_ the city.”

“Mmm. It does.” Lexa quirked an eyebrow at Clarke, whose jaw had clenched though she didn’t show any other signs of tension. “I have decided to accompany _Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said, still looking at Clarke, whose expression at her statement was a mixture of relief and something much deeper.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I will have them wait outside.”

“ _Mochof_.”

Balta left and Ferris looked at Lexa. “Perhaps I might accompany you, as well?”

“Certainly. And see if any other council members wish to join us, as well. It would offer an opportunity to see how far repairs have come in the marketplace.”

“An excellent idea. I will ask them now.”

Lexa nodded in dismissal, knowing he would most likely convince them all. He, too left. “And you?” she asked Indra.

“I will accompany you as well.”

“ _Os_.”

“And I will meet you outside,” Indra said with a pointed look before she strode from the room and closed the door behind her, much to Lexa’s amusement that she would grant her a little extra time alone with Clarke.

“ _Yu get klin, Heda_?” 10 Clarke asked and Lexa smiled.

“ _Sha_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_. _Ai gaf in gon glong yu op_.” 11

She grinned and bit her lower lip and Lexa stared at her mouth, then jerked her gaze back to her eyes. “I don’t want to take the Commander away from her duties,” Clarke said, a glint in her eyes and a tease in her tone.

“Perhaps this _is_ part of my duties.” Which it was. It was important that she be seen in the company of _Skaikru_ and other council members on a good will tour of Polis.

From Clarke’s expression, she understood that. “Of course it is,” she said, and she took a step closer, caught herself, and cleared her throat as she glanced at the door.

“It’s not the only reason, however.”

“Oh?”

Lexa moved close enough that there were mere inches between them. Was that a flush on Clarke’s cheeks and did her breathing speed up? Lexa kept her hands to herself but let her gaze roam Clarke’s face. “No. Balta has ordered me to walk in the sun. She thinks it will improve my disposition.”

Clarke stared at her then chuckled. “ _Heda_ is quite good at teasing me.”

“Mmm. You have yet to see the extent.”

She gave her the lazy half-smile that always disarmed her, always left her feeling a little unsteady, that anyone could have this effect on her, but she craved it. Had come to desire it. “Challenge accepted,” Clarke said in a low, breathy tone. “I’ll discover the extent.”

“I hope it takes a while.”

“Count on it.”

Lexa kissed her, the chance that they might be discovered adding an extra thrill to it, to the warmth of Clarke’s lips and the taste of her tongue. She pulled away before Clarke touched her with anything but her mouth, because she knew she might not be able to stop kissing her if she felt Clarke’s hands on her, too.

“And again, _Wanheda_ tempts me,” she said, keeping her gaze on Clarke’s eyes.

“Because she herself is also tempted. But we can talk about that later. Right now, duty calls.” She sighed. “Both of us.”

“And after this, I’m afraid.”

Clarke said nothing, but her expression was expectant.

“There is the matter of the _natrona_.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. But one thing at a time. Come on.”

Lexa made a noncommittal noise and followed Clarke to the door, but before she opened it, she turned and Lexa lost herself for a moment in her eyes.

“Thank you for doing this,” Clarke said, and the air between them sparked yet again.

“I will take whatever opportunity I can to spend time with you,” Lexa said softly.

Clarke stared at her then leaned in and pressed a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “We are definitely talking about this later.”

Lexa smiled, reached past her, and opened the door. “Come, _Klark kom Skaikru_. A tour awaits.”

 

  
1 _Heda, teik ai min op_? _Heda_ , may I enter?  
2 _Yu ste ogud_ , _Heda_? Are you ready, _Heda_?  
3 _Heda komba raun_ : _Heda_ approaches [you’ve seen this one]  
4 _ai laik Mykals sis_ : I am Mykal’s sister  
5 _Moba_ : apologies [you’ve seen it]  
6 _Dison fostaim kodon ste ain…Ai ban raun* ostof kom yu gon moun_ : This first cut is mine…I leave the rest of you for others.” [I used the “raun” satellite here, which is applied to verbs with objects and it worked better than the “op” or “au” satellites for the context here, I thought. Both “ban au” and “ban op” mean “to leave,” but with shades of meaning depending on the satellite.]  
7 _Ai don pul* jus raun* en yun wogeda_ : I have drawn blood in your chamber. [I’m taking some liberties, here. I’m using the base verb “pul,” to pull or draw away, along with the satellite “raun” rather than “we” or “op,” which is generally how “pul” is used, in certain contexts.]  
8 _Ai don teik yu in_ : I allowed you to  
9 _Oso na chich op fou enodei*_ : We [includes listener, in this case, Freya] will speak before the day’s end [“enodei” is my own construction of “eno” (end) and “dei” (day, usually used as a root). Peterson doesn’t have a “sundown” construction yet]  
10 _Yu get klin_ , _Heda_? You’re sure, _Heda_?  
11 _Ai gaf in gon glong yu op_ : I want to join you

 

###

“This is amazing,” Monty said as they worked their way through the crush of people in the marketplace.

“Okay, I admit. I’m impressed, too.” Jasper nodded in approval. “Think there’s alcohol somewhere in here?”

“Really?” Octavia shot him a look and Clarke smiled.

“I thought this place burned.”

Clarke looked over at Bellamy. “It did. They’re still cleaning out part of it, which is why it’s so crowded here, because everybody’s shoved into this area.” She managed to just avoid a child running by who would have grazed her sore knee if she hadn’t. Garret steadied her.

“ _Mochof_ ,” she said and he nodded.

“The flames were quite high,” he said to Bellamy and he pointed at blackened marks on surrounding buildings. “Most of the vendor stalls burned, but they are temporary structures anyway, and it’s relatively easy to create new ones.” He pointed at a woman nearby who was using a stone to smooth the wood of a pole. She already had a frame constructed.

“There were _Azgeda_ fighting for Nia in the streets, as well,” Gani said, and Clarke was glad that Lexa had suggested council members join them on this outing because it gave her a break from interacting with Bellamy’s prickly side, which seemed to have made an appearance since they’d started walking.

“ _Heda_ fought against them.” Garret positioned himself so that he walked on Clarke’s right and she knew he did it to protect her knee from passersby.

“She was out here doing that?” Monty had moved a little closer.

“Yes,” Garret said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that Lexa would do that. To him, it was. “ _Heda_ always fights with her warriors. She always has. When she Ascended, the clans fought each other even as the _Maunon_ took us all. She worked to open our eyes to _Maun-de_ , to demonstrate that we are stronger together against them than apart, that we are stronger together in all circumstances. But she had much fighting of her own to do, as well as talking, before the clans realized the wisdom of her approach.”

More layers to Lexa that Clarke wanted to explore. They stopped for a moment to watch a merchant haggle with a potential customer over a bolt of cloth.

“So the economy’s barter-based,” Monty said to her.

“Yeah. Though they do extend credit if it’s a customer they’ve been doing business with for a while. Or if they like you.” Niylah had shown her that courtesy early on. She needed to send her a gift of some sort. A painting or drawing, perhaps.

“So we’d need to make or have something to trade.” Jasper watched as the customer closed the deal with the vendor.

“You’re a creative guy. You’d figure something out,” Clarke said.

“Why, thank you.” He half-bowed and Octavia snorted.

“How is your leg?” Garret asked her in a low voice.

“Sore.” She shrugged.

“Do you require assistance?”

She smiled. “No. But thank you.” She moved toward Lexa, something she seemed automatically to do these days, and stood nearby as she chatted with a vendor while Ferris looked on. Abby had actually joined them, and Lexa was translating for her and Bellamy. Jax lingered nearby, but didn’t engage. She glanced around and located Michi and Lora talking to Gina and Raven as they watched a vendor carve something out of wood. Someone had started playing music on what sounded like a stringed instrument, an upbeat tune that she liked.

“Ah, _Wanheda_ ,” the vendor said when she spotted her.

Ferris motioned at her to come closer to the counter.

“ _Heya_.” Clarke smiled and nodded.

The vendor held her gaze for a few moments, expression serious. “ _Ai gaf in koma yu op, kos yu don lid in eno gon Maun-de_.” 12

“ _Mochof_. _Tona don sis ai au_. _Heda_ , _kongeda_ , _en Skaikru_.” She made a gesture encompassing the people with her. “ _Thau dison kru_ , _ai nou na dula em op_.” 13

Lexa translated and the vendor again regarded Clarke.

“ _Ai gaf ron som op gon yu_.” 14

Clarke knew better than to refuse a gift, so she nodded her acceptance.

“ _Som gon ogeda Wanhedakru_.” 15

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said, wondering what the vendor could possibly want to give them. From below the counter, the vendor produced three large bottles.

“ _Sawajus_ ,” she announced with a smile. “ _Ai beda_.” 16 She placed a cup on the counter, removed the stoppers from all three bottles and poured some from each into the cup, swirled it, and drank it herself, eyes on Lexa. Then she produced several more cups, poured wine into each, and encouraged the tour party to each take one.

“Now we’re talking,” Jasper said as he picked one up. “Smells amazing,” he said as he lifted it to his lips.

“Not yet,” Clarke said as she put her hand on his arm. “Custom.”

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t take the drink, either. The vendor then poured a splash into her own cup.

“ _Heda_. _Gon yu_.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Lexa said with a smile and nod. She accepted the cup and turned and faced the others. “I am pleased you all have come to Polis. You have the gratitude of me and my people for what you have helped accomplish. I hope all of us – _Kyongedon_ 17 and _Skaikru_ – can accomplish much more together.” She raised her cup, as did everyone else, then sipped.

“Now,” Clarke whispered to Jasper and he drank. She caught Lexa’s eye over the rim of her cup and the warmth that spread through her torso had nothing to do with the wine.

“Damn, that is…wow. Monty, we definitely have to step up our game.”

Clarke tasted the wine and Jasper was right. Heady and sweet but with a pleasant tartness. “Oh, we need to learn how to make this,” she said.

“I am all for that.” Jasper finished his and nodded appreciatively.

“Ditto.” Sam finished his and licked his lips. “Wow.”

The vendor beckoned at him and Jasper and re-filled their cups along with a few others. Clarke finished hers and set the cup on the counter.

“ _Mochof_ ,” she said.

The vendor nodded and smiled.

Clarke glanced around and saw three of the council representatives she didn’t know very well watching her.

“They’re impressed,” Lexa said near her ear and Clarke loved it when she did that, when she was that close that she could feel the puffs of her words on her skin. And then Lexa brushed against her as she reached around her and placed her own cup on the counter.

“I need to get to know them better.”

“Mmm.” Lexa looked past her at the vendor and thanked her, which elicited a warm, genuine response.

“What’s she saying?” Monty asked Clarke.

“That she is proud that her people are part of the _kongeda_ and that Lexa is the Commander.”

He nodded, and a pensive expression crossed his face momentarily but it was interrupted because Jasper grabbed his arm to show him something else.

“Shall we continue?” Lexa asked, directing the question to Ferris and then Abby.

With all in agreement, they moved on, working their way through the crowd. Garret stuck close to Clarke’s right, acting as a shield against any possibly painful jostling. Ferris and Lexa served as tour guides and though Clarke couldn’t interact with her on a more personal level, she at least got to watch her.

The crowd was boisterous but good-natured and on several occasions, when people saw Lexa, they immediately stopped what they were doing and cheered. Children approached her, most shy, to touch her hand while other adults just beamed at her.

“Damn,” Raven muttered to Clarke’s left. “Celebrity central.”

“She’s Commander,” Clarke said with a shrug.

Someone shouted “ _Wanheda_ ” and that brought cheers, too.

Raven gave her a look. “You were saying?”

“They appreciate what we did at the mountain.”

“Please, Griff. You’ve got your own legend going on.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped aside to allow people to get by her. Garret was still close, but he was talking to Ferris and Gani. Lexa looked at her before she shifted her gaze past Clarke’s shoulder, to the warriors behind her, then back to Clarke, then back to the group of children who approached her.

“Uh-huh,” Raven said, just loud enough for her to hear.

“What?”

“Lexa’s checking on you.”

“What are you talking about?” But she knew Raven was right.

“Really? You want me to spell this out for you?”

Clarke started walking. Foot traffic here wasn’t as bad as it had been and she was hoping to derail this conversation. Unfortunately, both Raven and Gina followed.

“I know Reyes is teasing you, but she has a point,” Gina said as she walked on Raven’s other side.

Clarke stopped. “Lexa checks on everybody. See? She just looked at my mom.”

“Totally different,” Raven said.

“How? Oh, look. She just checked on Gani and Garret.” Clarke gestured with her chin at the two, who were still talking.

“Look, I know there might be a few problems if you hook up with the Commander, but…” Raven’s voice trailed off suggestively.

“Why are we talking about this?” Clarke asked, keeping her tone light.

Raven smirked. “Because it’s clear the thought has crossed your mind way more than once. It’s probably crossing your mind right now—yep. There it goes. Not that anybody would blame you. I mean, look at her.”

Clarke shot her a glare and started walking again, following the group. Garret and Gani fell into step on her other side.

“Just sayin’,” Raven said.

“Clarke.”

She turned, actually relieved to hear Abby.

“How’s your knee?”

“Sore. But I’m okay.”

“You sure you can come with us tomorrow?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah. It’ll be fine. And once I’m at Arkadia and talk to the council, I promise I’ll take it easy for a bit.”

“You can hang out with me in my lab of doom,” Raven said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

“That’s actually a good idea,” Bellamy said. “You can hand her tools and watch her make weird shit.”

“Hey. I make _good_ shit.”

“Did somebody say good shit?” Jasper joined the conversation as they walked. “Monty and I are pretty good at that, too.”

“Different shit,” Raven said. “But yours is useful in certain situations.”

“Hey, we could start growing a lot of it and use it for barter.” He grinned at Clarke’s expression of horror. “Kidding. I want to experiment with wine. The other shit’s just for Arkadia.”

“Keep it that way.” She shot him a look before she lagged behind a bit so she could talk to Michi. “How’s your arm?”

“Doing okay. Your mom keeps that goop on it that Balta gave her and it works with pain, too. But I’m not moving it around too much yet. Doctor’s orders.”

“Good.”

They walked in silence for a few moments before Michi spoke again.

“So I heard Lora and me are supposed to talk with Lexa after this.”

“Formality.”

“Are you sure?” She looked at Clarke, clearly worried. “I know I fucked up. That’s the only excuse I have.”

“Save that for Lexa. Convince her she’s doing the right thing, backing me on this.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are _you_ convinced?”

She raised her eyebrows, surprised. “I asked Lexa to lift your banishment.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Clarke slowed down and they lagged even farther behind the group, but three warriors remained with them. “Mostly. I know you don’t like me much, and that’s fine. Just don’t let that turn you against Arkadia. I know coming to the ground has been traumatic and horrible in a lot of ways, but it’s a chance to do things differently, too. I hope you use it.” She sped up a little to catch up with the rest of the group and ended up walking next to Indra.

“If you wish to return to the tower, _Heda_ will send warriors with you,” Indra said.

“I’m fine.” She flashed her a smile. “Just a little slower than usual.”

They walked in silence and Clarke watched Lexa as she greeted people, listened to them intently, and offered words she couldn’t hear that clearly had an effect on those to whom she spoke.

“I wish I had a camera,” Gina said as Indra moved away to speak with Ferris.

So did Clarke. She would carry a photograph of Lexa with her always.

“Did she tell you what happened the night she and Arling got me out of Nia’s camp?”

“No.”

“It was pretty amazing. She basically walked in with him. It was pouring rain and they both had cloaks with hoods on. I heard them outside the tent Nia put me in. I didn’t know it was them, but I heard them talking.”

Clarke gaped at her. “Nia was talking to Lexa?”

“Nia didn’t know it was her. Arling told me that after. She pretended to be sick.”

“And Nia didn’t know it was her?”

“No.” Gina laughed. “It’s funny now, but at the time, not so much.”

Lexa was right. People see what they want to see. Clarke looked at her again. She was walking and talking to an older man while a girl who looked about five held her hand. The contrast of the black-clothed warrior Commander strolling with a child dressed in bright blue and yellow made her wish, again, for a camera. Perhaps she would draw this later.

“She and Arling got me out of that camp, Clarke. I mean, they had a little bit of help on the outside, but Lexa and Arling were the ones who went in there. Just the two of them, taking on a bunch of Ice Nation warriors. She didn’t even know me.”

She slowed and waited for Gina to continue.

“She didn’t have to. She’s the Commander of the clans. She could have had somebody else do it. But she told me that her leadership wouldn’t be trusted if she didn’t do things herself. I told her you’re like that.”

Clarke looked at her, surprised.

“It’s true. You won’t let somebody else do something unless you’re willing to do it.”

She thought about Lexa entering the camp, knowing that she had to get Gina out before Nia took her to the mountain, knowing that it would affect everything if she didn’t. “How bad was it in there?” She asked, and then wondered if she really wanted to know.

“As bad as two against an entire camp of hostile warriors can be. They set fires, though, as distractions, and there was the bomb I had, fortunately.”

Clarke didn’t respond, thinking about Lexa putting herself in danger, considering all angles as quickly as she could, and taking the risk anyway because not doing so might have a worse outcome.

“Point being,” Gina said, “she’s right. Because she was willing to do that, I trust her leadership. I trust _her_.” She moved closer and kept her voice low. “I know there’s shit between you, and I know it affected us, too, but it seems to me, at least, that you’ve gotten past it, and I hope that stays the case. We need her, and we need you.”

“Are you saying you trust _my_ leadership, too?”

“Yes. And so does she.” She looked at Lexa then back at Clarke. “So no matter what anybody says, you’ve got support.”

Before Clarke could respond, Gina moved away to talk to Raven and Octavia. Lexa had led them out of the marketplace and they walked down a few streets, but it was slow going because here, too, people wanted to talk to _Heda_ and, much to her discomfort, _Wanheda_. There were cheers for her, as well as Lexa, and it was strange, being openly celebrated by so many, by people whose language she was just learning.

But she enjoyed it, too, enjoyed the smiles and the children coming up to her with wide eyes, and the approval she saw on the council members’ faces. Most of all, she liked that Lexa did, in fact, keep checking on her, expression inscrutable in that way she had when she wore the demeanor of the Commander, but Clarke knew the warmth beneath it. Had always known, though it had taken her a while to accept that she wanted to see it more often, wanted it directed at her. Now she couldn’t get enough of it.

Finally, Lexa led them back to the tower, and Bellamy and Octavia took the others back to the floor where they were staying to get things in order for the return to Arkadia the next morning.

“Chancellor,” Lexa said, “I will see you and Clarke after you have eaten. Balta will fetch you to the meeting room.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said.

Abby nodded. “Thank you, Commander, for the tour. I am extremely impressed by Polis.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Clarke, will you take a meal with the Chancellor in her quarters?”

“Yes.” It was easier to find them, she knew. But she also needed to get some more salve on her knee and to elevate her leg for a bit.

“Then I’ll see you both later.” She flashed a quick smile and strode to the lift with two wariors, Ferris, Indra, and Gani.

“I don’t think you should take the stairs,” Abby said.

“I agree.” Clarke leaned back against the wall. “So what did you really think of Polis?”

“It’s truly amazing. I think we can learn a lot from the people who live here.”

“And I think we can teach them some things, too.”

“I agree.” She motioned toward the lift. “Ready?”

Clarke nodded and limped over, three guards with them. She was tired, but the food would probably help with that. And hopefully help her for the next meeting, which might be problematic, depending on how Jax decided to approach it. She sighed and stepped onto the lift. Maybe after Roan was granted formal entrance to the _kongeda_ she and Lexa would have a few days’ reprieve from the responsibilities that seemed neverending. Maybe they all would.

The lift stopped and she followed Abby down the corridor, focused now on easing the dull pain in her knee. Other thoughts would have to wait.

 

12 _Ai gaf in koma yu op kos yu don lid in eno gon Maun-de_ : I wish to honor you because you brought an end to the Mountain.  
13 _Tona don sis ai au_. _Heda_ , _kongeda_ , _en Skaikru_ … _Thau dison kru_ , _ai nou na dula em op_ : Many helped. _Heda_ , the _kongeda_ , and _Skaikru_. Without these people, I couldn’t [have done] it.  
14 _Ai gaf ron som op gon yu_ : I want to give you something  
15 _Som gon ogeda Wanhedakru_ : Something for all the _Wanhedakru_ [the vendor combined _Wanheda_ and “kru” to form “Wanheda’s kru” – Wanheda’s people.]  
16 _Sawajus_ … _Ai beda_ : Wine. My best  
17 _Kyongedon_ : Grounders [you’ve sen this one]

 

###

Lexa stood on the balcony, staring down at the city below. A new kind of energy infused it, made apparent on the tour. Something relieved but vibrant, and an undercurrent of celebration served to lift spirits. Behind her she heard the murmur of voices as servants cleared the table in the meeting room of dishes.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta said from the balcony doorway and Lexa looked at her.

“ _Sha_.”

Balta joined her and they stood in companionable silence for a few minutes.

“ _Wanheda_ proved popular among the city’s denizens,” Lexa finally said.

“And the council?”

“There as well.”

“ _Skaikru_?”

“On good behavior.” She smiled. “That might have been more Clarke’s influence than anything else. And possibly the Chancellor’s.”

“The people needed to see you, as well.” Balta continued to watch the city. “And it is good that you took the council with you in the company of _Skaikru_.”

“Mmm.” Little by little, she would get her people used to Clarke's presence with her, as she knew Clarke was doing with hers. “I spoke today with _Rafi kom Yujleda_. 18 He had heard a story and he wished to express his gratitude about the events in this story.”

“He is a solid council member,” Balta said, “and has no reason to speak of things out of turn.”

Lexa caught the undercurrent of humor in her tone. “I am wondering where he might have heard this story.”

“It depends what the story is.” She kept her gaze fixed on the city below, but a smile seemed to play at the corners of her mouth.

Lexa turned from the railing and looked at her. “He heard that two certain _natrona kom Skaikru_ helped _Wanheda_ escape Nia.”

“That story is true, _Heda_ , as we both know.”

“Because Clarke escaped, she was thus able to warn my forces about Ontari’s archers.” Lexa clasped her hands behind her back. “How might _that_ story have been collected?”

“ _Jaspa kom Skaikru_ can be quite talkative.”

“And he may have exaggerated. Ontari probably would not have risked her own warriors and would have called the archers off.”

“Or perhaps not. It is indeed fortunate that Clarke was there to warn you, is it not? And it is also fortunate that the _natrona_ were there to help her escape so she _could_ warn you. Clarke herself told me about Michi’s actions, when Michi attempted to lock a gate to keep Nia’s forces from reaching them. It resulted in her wounding.” She shrugged, affecting an innocent air. “There are many stories about that day, _Heda_.”

“And the one Rafi reiterated to me is circulating among council members and no doubt their servants by now, about how fortunate it was that the _natrona_ put aside their differences with Clarke and helped her.”

“ _Heda_ is wise.” Balta inclined her head, but she was smiling.

Lexa chuckled. “I think perhaps Balta may be wiser.”

“We do what we must.”

“What else does Rafi know of the _natrona_?”

“That two were committed to helping Clarke and _Skaikru_ because they realized the danger Nia presented to all, and in hindsight, the danger the other _Skaikru_ who were from Arkadia and went to _Maun-de_ were.” She shrugged. “It is fortunate that they realized the error of their ways.”

“I think perhaps it is more fortunate that you have chosen to support me.”

“ _Otaim_ , _Heda_.” 19

Lexa smiled. “And might I ask what is being said of the other _natrona kom Skaikru_?”

“Rafi gets the impression that Clarke does not trust him but she is pragmatic in her dealings with him. He accepts that and understands it. He is glad, though, that she did not ask you to lift Jax’s banishment. You remember a few years back when a similar situation occurred in _Yujleda_.”

She nodded. A banishment lifted not long after it was issued. Even Lincoln had dealt with similar issues, though his later actions convinced Indra to accept him again. “Rafi was a good choice to speak with.” He was cautious and respected because he was not afraid to bring issues up in a council or talk to her directly. He was, as Balta said, not one to speak out of turn or unnecessarily, which meant his words often carried a bit more weight and because he wasn’t one to ever curry favor with her or other leaders, others trusted his judgment, and if he supported lifting the banishment off Michi and Lora so soon after it was issued, he could be very convincing to others.

“Titus thought so, too.”

“But no doubt it was your idea.”

She smiled.

“I am indeed so very fortunate that you chose to stay after I Ascended.”

“It never occurred to me not to. To me, you are not only _Heda_. You are family.”

“I am grateful every day for that.”

“As am I. Shall I fetch the parties for your next meeting?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Will you remain here? Or do you prefer the council chamber?”

“Here.” As intimidating as the council chamber could be, Lexa wanted a different feel to this gathering. More intimate, but with a clear understanding of her authority.

Balta nodded her approval and left. Lexa watched the city again, thinking about how things could so quickly change, on so many different levels. She thought then of Clarke leaving the city, and though it was only for a few days, it left a little pang in her heart. If Clarke decided to stay on as _Skaikru_ council representative, there was no reason she wouldn’t be spending a good deal of time in Polis and possibly with her and the council on business to other villages. She hoped that was the case. But she also knew that Clarke would no doubt have her hands full dealing with Arkadia and helping them prepare for winter.

Which meant Lexa would savor all the time she could get with her now.

“ _Heda_ ,” a warrior said softly behind her. “ _Klark en Abi kom Skaikru komba raun_.” 20

She nodded and went to stand near the table. A few moments later the door opened and Balta motioned Clarke and Abby in.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said.

“Commander.”

Lexa nodded in acknowledgement and looked at Balta. “I would see the _natrona_ one at a time. Jax last.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She moved away from the doorway.

Lexa took her seat at the head of the table and, as the previous day, Clarke sat to her right and Abby to her left.

“Chancellor?” Lexa asked Abby. “Do you have thoughts you would like to share with me before this process begins?”

“Nothing that wasn’t brought up yesterday,” she said stiffly.

Clarke’s expression was a mixture of dread and resignation.

“And I appreciate your concerns. Do you have anything further to say about the decision?”

Abby held her gaze, and she read surprise in it, but also appreciation, perhaps, that she had asked.“Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about timing,” Abby said, cautious. “I understand that.”

“Perhaps not always before an event occurs, but there is much that can be done after.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed.

“People talk, after all,” Lexa said. “There are stories they tell. And sometimes there are stories others tell them to achieve specific purposes.”

Comprehension lit up Clarke’s eyes. “A campaign?”

“That may be a bit too organized. I prefer to call it a few suggestions, well-placed.”

“Public relations,” Abby said, interest flashing in her eyes.

“Of a sort.”

“What’s the story? Clarke asked.

“Two _natrona_ helped Clarke escape from Nia. On its own, the story would probably be enough because _Wanheda_ was instrumental to the mountain’s end, and anyone who helps her is thus an ally.”

Clarke shifted in her seat, body language tense.

“But as is the nature of all stories, this one is already being embellished.”

“To what?” Dread coated Clarke’s tone.

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her and smiled. “ _Nou get yu daun_. 21 Nothing that didn’t happen.”

Clarke’s expression still conveyed worry and Lexa relented.

“Had you not escaped, you could not, thus, have warned me and my forces about Ontari’s archers. Lora and Michi helped you and you, in turn helped me. And all of the _kongeda_.”

“Ontari probably would have called them off,” Clarke said, “when she realized the risk to her own soldiers.”

Lexa settled back in her chair. “Perhaps. But Nia certainly would not have done so, and Ontari learned from her. Regardless, I did hear your warning, and my forces and I heeded it.”

“Jasper told me that today,” Abby said and Lexa shifted her attention back to her.

“Which part?” Clarke stared across the table at her.

“About you shouting a warning about archers.”

“Jasper doesn’t speak the language. He wouldn’t have known what I was shouting.”

“It’s not that hard to figure out from the context,” Abby said with a quick glance at Lexa that might have been conspiratorial. “I asked him what happened, and he gave me the story from when he found you in the tunnel to when you both got away from Ontari. He said you wanted to go after Lora and Michi because they had helped you escape.”

Lexa hid her surprise at Abby’s support.

“I think Lexa—the Commander—has a good plan and a good point. Word of mouth can travel fast. Besides, you do have a reputation. You’ve had one since you went to the Mountain the first time.”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, clearly uncomfortable.

“People tell stories,” Lexa said to her. “This is how we remember, and this is how we share information.”

“But the stories aren’t always true.”

“Perhaps it is the perspectives that differ. The details in this story aren’t untrue. Their meaning may be disputed, and perhaps some of the details may also be disputed. But you have said on more than one occasion that both Lora and Michi helped you escape Nia. And because you escaped, you were thus able to help others.” From Clarke’s expression, she was stil uncomfortable with the subject, but she had always been uncomfortable when she was a center of attention.

“I think this could be a good thing,” Abby said and Clarke now looked surprised. “Think about it. I’ve been worried that lifting the banishment would look bad—it still might—but a story about how Michi and Lora helped you escape and then you were able to help Lexa’s forces…it could offset potential fallout.”

Clarke sighed. “What about Jax? Where is he in this?”

Abby looked at Lexa.

“I am willing to give him six months,” Lexa said. “But I reserve the authority to retain his banishment at the end of that period.”

Abby frowned while Clarke barely nodded.

“I will need to be convinced that he is not a threat to the _kongeda_ , Arkadia, the Chancellor, or Clarke,” Lexa said and she left no room for argument.

It was Clarke who broke the silence with a wry smile. “Okay, so not a big job or anything.”

Abby’s expression was similar to ones Indra had directed at Lexa in the past when she was expressing displeasure without speaking.

Lexa opted to keep her tone serious, though she appreciated Clarke’s attempt to defuse the tension building with Abby. “Jax betrayed Arkadia to ally with forces that were involved with the possible bombing attempts of Arkadia and Polis. He has done nothing since to demonstrate that any of his actions are motivated by anything other than self-interest. If you can convince me that he is redeemable, I will consider lifting the banishment.”

“And if we can’t convince you?” Abby asked. Almost a challenge, but not quite.

“Then we will have another conversation. At that point, Chancellor, you may not be in the position you are now, but I will request your input.”

That, too, seemed to surprise her.

“Is that amenable to both of you?”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said and Abby nodded.

“Very well.”

And as if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and Balta stepped in.

“ _Heda_ , we are ready.”

“ _Os_. Let us begin.”

Balta retreated and a few moments later Lora entered the room, looking as if she had incurred the wrath of her teachers and was waiting for punishment, which promised to be bad.

“Sit,” Lexa said, and Balta motioned her to the chair at the opposite end of the table then took a position near the door with another guard.

Lora sat down carefully, entirely ill at ease.

“ _Lora kom Skaikru_ , you are here today with regard to your banishment, which _Klark kom Skaikru_ has asked me to lift, given your actions of the past few days. I have spoken at length with both Clarke and the Chancellor with regard to this matter, but I wish to hear from you, as well. Tell me why I should lift your banishment.”

Abby glanced from Lora to Lexa, appearing for all the world like Titus when he was frustrated with one of her arguments. Clarke remained impassive but Lora clearly wanted to melt into the floor. Clarke glanced at Lexa, and the latter saw the question in her eyes. She gave a barely perceptible nod.

“Go ahead,” Clarke said to Lora, encouraging.

Lora looked at Abby then at Lexa, and to her credit, she managed to meet and hold Lexa’s gaze, though fear filled her eyes. “I would like to apologize to the Chancellor, first.”

Lexa nodded and Lora focused on her.

“Chancellor, I just want to say that I’m really sorry for leaving Arkadia. It was stupid. I did it for all the wrong reasons and I thought that if I left I was helping, somehow, create a safer place for others. I didn’t really understand the history of the Mountain. I had heard what Clarke had done, but I didn’t think about what really went on there and how the people there had been so awful to Grounders.” She lowered her gaze and stared at the table. “I also thought that if I went, Jax might appreciate me.”

“And now?”

She looked back at Lexa. “It was the worst decision I’ve made. Jax never cared about me, and only wanted people to back him up. I regret to say that I totally fell for it. I mean, lots more people could have died. And they almost did, if Clarke and Bellamy and the others hadn’t gotten in there and stopped the missile. I was part of that, even though I realized that it was wrong. But by then, I was stuck.”

“Tell me about what happened when you realized Nia had taken Clarke prisoner, too,” Lexa said, her hands still resting on the armrests of her chair.

“I—” she stopped and looked at Clarke, as if she wanted to make sure it was acceptable to voice her opinion. Clarke nodded and Lora took a deep breath. “Okay, so I hated her. I mean, she banished me. For one bad decision. But I kept thinking about it after we left Polis, and I realized that one bad decision almost killed a bunch of people, and that would’ve been on my hands, too. I mean, there already were some people who died because of what Pike did, and I can’t stop thinking about that.” She hung her head. “I can’t stop thinking that I was responsible for that.” She lifted her gaze to Lexa’s. “I still can’t. It keeps me up at night. But I did hate Clarke, but the weirdest thing happened in that cell.”

Lexa waited, though she could see that Lora was genuinely remorseful.

“She gave me permission to hate her. I mean, not specifically. But she didn’t treat me like an outcast—okay, so, I know it was because if we were going to get out of there, we all had to work together, but she didn’t seem to hold it against me, that I went to the Mountain and worked with people who basically almost blew up both Arkadia and Polis. In other words, it wasn’t personal with her. At least in terms of _me_ personally. And then she said she wasn’t going to leave me or Michi behind, and…” she cleared her throat and looked at the table again. “I believed her. And she didn’t. She got us as far as she could and then stayed behind to make sure we got away.”

“And?” Lexa pushed, though gently.

“I—nobody ever believed in me like that. She said that we were getting out of there, that I could help, and then she…she let me help. She believed I could do it. Her decision to banish me didn’t have anything to do, really, with what she thought of me, but that it’s something that happens down here when you make particularly bad decisions like I did. I realized I don’t blame her anymore for doing it.”

Lexa remained silent, though she flicked a glance at Abby, who was looking at Clarke with a mixture of pride and maybe awe.

“I can’t tell you, Commander, whether I’m worthy of having my banishment lifted. I can tell you that I learned something about myself after Clarke did it and after I was taken prisoner and forced to work with her. And not everything I learned I liked. But I will say that there’s probably nothing I wouldn’t do for Clarke or Arkadia after what happened, and because of all the help you’ve given us, well, if you lift this banishment, you’re stuck with me, too, as an ally.”

Lexa fought a smile. “Thank you, Lora. Chancellor, do you have anything further you would like to discuss?”

“No, Commander,” she said, which mildly surprised Lexa.

“Clarke?”

“No.”

“Thank you, _Lora kom Skaikru_ , for your willingness to speak with us and for your honesty. Your banishment is lifted. When the mark fully heals, we can put a different mark over it or perhaps _Abi kom Skaikru_ has a form of treatment that will remove it or render it illegible.”

Lora stared at her as if she hadn’t heard right. She looked at Clarke, who smiled and nodded, then at Abby, who did the same thing. “Really?”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “Thanks.”

“No way. Thank _you_. And thank you, Commander. I won’t disappoint you. Or Clarke. Or you, Chancellor.”

“I hope not,” Lexa said. “And I hope you stay true to your word. You may go.”

Lora still didn’t look like she believed it, but she got up and went to the door. Balta and the guard escorted her out and a few moments later entered with Michi.

“Sit,” Lexa directed and Michi did, looking uneasy. She positioned herself to keep her left arm, which was still in a sling, comfortable. Lexa studied her for a few moments. Brash, but it was to cover insecurity, she determined. Impulsive but underneath that, a desire for connection. “ _Michi kom Skaikru_ ,” Lexa said, “you are here today regarding the matter of your banishment. I have spoken with both _Klark kom Skaikru_ , who has requested that I lift it, given your actions of the past few days. I have also spoken to the Chancellor.” She paused.

Michi’s reaction was very different than Lora’s. There was fear, but also a shift in her demeanor and Lexa could almost see her walls sliding into place, and her defenses coming up. She was used to being forced to justify many things. Perhaps even her existence. Lexa adjusted her approach.

“Tell me why you decided to leave Arkadia and go with Pike and Sanders. And Chancellor, if you and Clarke wish to engage, do.”

That took Michi a little off guard. She hesitated and looked at Clarke.

“Be honest,” Clarke said. “This isn’t necessarily what you’ve done as it is who you are.”

Michi cleared her throat. “I didn’t think Arkadia was doing enough to protect us from Grounders.” A flush appeared on her neck. She looked at Lexa. “When Farm Station came to the ground, we were attacked.”

“Do you know who attacked you?” Abby asked. “There are twelve Grounder clans.”

“At the time, I didn’t. I thought they were all the same. And even though I found out later that it was Ice Nation, I didn’t know enough.”

“Did Ice Nation do something that affected you personally?” Abby again and Lexa watched her, interested to see how she operated in a leadership role when she wasn’t focused on Clarke.

“They killed a few of us, including a friend. They killed Pike’s wife, too.”

Lexa kept her expression blank at this information.

“For no reason,” Michi added. “We crashed and then a few days later, these assholes—” she cleared her throat again. “These Grounders attacked us. So of course I figured everybody down here was out to kill us. Pike kept telling us they were, and not to trust anyone who wasn’t Farm Station. Especially after we got to Arkadia and found out that Arkers had been working with Grounders for a while.” She dropped her gaze. “I didn’t know what to think, but I had known Pike and his wife all of my life, practically. So I let myself keep believing him.”

“Where was Jon in this?” Clarke asked.

“We weren’t together, if that’s what you’re asking. He was a good friend. Kind of a brother, I guess. I don’t have any family on the ground. Both my parents died when I was young, so I grew up with a couple who didn’t have any kids of their own. I don’t know what happened to them when we came to the ground. I never saw them again.”

Abby’s demeanor immediately softened. “I knew both sets of your parents,” she said. “I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

Michi shrugged. “Yeah, so, I’m screwed up and maybe that’s why I have bad judgment.”

“The circumstances of our pasts may indeed affect us,” Lexa said before either Clarke or Abby could respond. “But they serve only as explanations, and not excuses. You are your own person and you made this decision. Why?”

“Because it was easy.” She finally met Lexa’s gaze. “Grounders in general were an easy target for me to be pissed at. I was scared and lonely and we’d just crash-landed and we didn’t know anything about anything, really. Seriously, no matter all the classes we had about this planet, nothing prepares you for it. We had no idea anyone down here had even survived. And all of a sudden, here’s a bunch of people who look really damn scary attacking us and killing us. It was easy for me to say yes to Pike, since I didn’t have anyone telling me not to.”

Lexa regarded her for a few moments, until Michi dropped her gaze.

“Tell me, then, why I should lift your banishment.”

“Look, Commander, I’m really bad at apologies. But the truth is, I’m sorry that I made that decision to leave Arkadia.”

All three waited for her to continue.

“I wasn’t completely sold on it, especially since Pike kept ranting about how evil all the Grounders were and by that time, I’d seen Lincoln around and a few others, and they didn’t seem bad. But I guess I didn’t feel like I had a place at Arkadia, and I wanted to feel safe, and Sanders said it was stupid to let the Mountain go to waste like that. But I still felt bad about going with them, especially when Pike killed those Tree Crew people. And I got to thinking that he’d never get his wife back, no matter what he did. Plus, those people he killed had nothing to do with his wife. They weren’t even the same clan, and I had already started to figure that out. Others did, too, but Pike and Sanders wouldn’t let us leave and Emerson wouldn’t, either. So I got stuck with this bad decision.”

“Tell me your thoughts when you realized Nia had taken Clarke prisoner,” Lexa prompted.

“I tried to attack her.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow at Michi’s blunt statement.

“Clarke. Not Nia.”

Clarke softly cleared her throat and glanced sheepishly at Lexa.

“She probably already told you that. I was pissed. And no way did I want to help her, either.”

Lexa cocked her head. She appreciated Michi’s honesty. “Why did you?”

“Lora was there, and she told me to get it together, that Clarke could be a resource. I didn’t want to, though, because I was so pissed. But then I guess I realized that I was basically doing the same thing I’d been doing to myself for years. Shooting myself in the foot to feel all self-righteous. That’s kind of what got me into the situation with Pike and Sanders. I was looking for easy answers, even if it hurt me in the process. And honestly, Griffin kind of wears you down with her logic.”

Lexa had to clench her teeth to keep from smiling. Clarke seemed to be fighting the same battle. Abby’s expression was a mixture of amusement and uncertainty.

“And she didn’t leave me behind,” Michi added, looking directly at Lexa. “I gave her a lot of shit in that cell, and she still wouldn’t leave me behind. Even though she banished me, she said she was not going to leave me behind. So I pretty much got over myself and went all in. And then she pretty much sacrificed herself for me and Lora. I mean, who does that? Who banishes you and then makes sure you get out of a bad situation?”

Clarke shifted in her chair, avoiding eye contact with both Lexa and Abby.

“No matter what happens, I’m with Clarke and Arkadia. And you, because you support them.”

Lexa waited a beat before speaking again. “Chancellor, do you or Clarke have anything further you would like to address in this matter?”

“No,” they both said.

“Very well. _Michi kom Skaikru_ , thank you for your honesty and willingness to speak with us. Your banishment is lifted. Once the mark fully heals, we can place another over it or perhaps _Abi kom Skaikru_ might have an alternative treatment.”

Michi’s eyes widened and she looked at Clarke and mouthed, “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Clarke said aloud. “Seriously.”

She sagged in relief. “Thanks,” she said to her and Abby. “And thank you, Commander.”

Lexa nodded once. “I hope that you maintain your intentions. You may go.”

She looked at her, as if waiting for her to say something else that would negate earlier statements. When she didn’t, Michi got up, taking care with her arm, and left with Balta and the guard, who then reappeared with Jax.

He stood near the table, shifting his weight from foot to foot, expression hardening when he saw Abby.

“Sit,” Lexa said and Balta motioned him toward the chair recently vacated by Michi. He hesitated then did as she requested. She studied him for a few moments, more to make him aware of the gravity of the situation and her authority here rather than to learn anything new about him. All she needed to know she had learned watching him when Clarke issued the initial banishment and when she interacted with him at the guardhouse following his poisoning. An opportunist interested more in what his personal stake in each situation might be and the best way to exploit it for his own gain.

“ _Jax kom Skaikru_ , you are here today because I have spoken at length with both _Klark kom Skaikru_ and Chancellor _Abi kom Skaikru_ with regard to your banishment.”

He looked at her but couldn’t quite hold her gaze.

“Both agree that lifting your banishment completely at this time is not appropriate, given your actions and lack of willingness to involve yourself in the trials Arkadia and the _kongeda_ face.”

He sat up a little straighter, a challenge forming in the set of his shoulders. She waited for him to issue it. He did.

“I didn’t have an opportunity. Nia forced me to bring that message to Polis, and she used poison.”

Lexa regarded him as she might look at horse droppings inside the tower and he clamped his mouth shut. “The next time you speak out of turn, I may lose what inclination I have to grant you anything. You are here because I trust Clarke’s judgment and the Chancellor’s input. Nothing more. Were you not new to the ground, you would not be granted even this opportunity.”

He again tried to hold her gaze, but couldn’t. A coward, Lexa thought. Like Mykal, perhaps, in how he manipulated others to do for him what he wouldn’t.

“Both Clarke and the Chancellor are willing to give you a probationary period at Arkadia,” Lexa said, still leaned back in her chair, projecting complete ease in her position. “I am less inclined, but have taken into consideration your newness to the ways of the _kongeda_ and of the ground. Therefore, I will grant you six months, more than enough time to demonstrate your willingness to work for the betterment of Arkadia and _Skaikru_ ’s position in the _kongeda_.” She paused, assessing his reaction to her words.

He remained rigid in the chair, and stared directly past her shoulder.

“Once six months have passed, I will revisit this matter with both Clarke and the Chancellor and possibly the Arkadia council.”

At that, he finally held her gaze for longer than a moment.

“If I am not convinced of your intentions regarding Arkadia, I will not grant you another probationary period and the banishment will stand. If I am convinced, I will lift the banishment.”

He was now staring at the table.

“Chancellor?” Lexa turned her gaze to Abby. “Have you anything you wish to address?”

“Yes. I’m sorry about your father,” she said. “There’s nothing I can say that will fix that pain you carry.”

He jerked his gaze to her, and Lexa glanced over at the guard near the door, who was ready to act if required.

“I hope, though, that you’ll consider all the others at Arkadia, and you’ll be willing to work with them if not me,” Abby added. “There’s a place for you there, if you make one for yourself.”

His lips twitched in a grimace.

“Clarke? Is there anything you would like to address?” Lexa’s gaze skimmed Jax before landing on her.

“No.”

Jax glared at her.

“Very well. Jax, I give you now the opportunity to speak in your own defense.”

“I don’t really have one, do I? You’ve already all decided, and nothing I say will make a difference.”

“Each of us is responsible for the paths we choose,” Lexa said, in a tone she reserved for young children. “I have given you a choice. You have no one to blame but yourself for the one you make.”

He glared at her, too.

“You have six months to decide. Time enough to prove your willingness to engage with Arkadia as a member of _Skaikru_ or—” she paused for emphasis, “to prepare yourself for life on the ground outside it.”

He slumped, sullen. His bravado and charm wouldn’t work here. A realization he was probably finding difficult to accept.

“Do you wish to say anything further?” Lexa asked.

“No.”

“Then this matter is concluded. You will accompany _Skaikru_ back to Arkadia tomorrow. The probationary period begins when you leave Polis. You may go.”

He pushed back from his chair, jaw clenched, and left without another word, Balta and the guard with him. He would bear watching. A quick glance at Clarke confirmed that she was thinking the same thing. Abby had leaned forward and clasped her hands on the table.

“I can’t say I’m feeling hopeful about his chances,” Clarke said.

“Maybe once I’m no longer Chancellor he’ll come around.” Abby sounded less than convinced.

“It might be a good idea to make sure everybody at Arkadia understands what infractions carry which punishments,” Clarke said. “Like on the Ark. Down here, obviously, floating isn’t an option.” Her tone hardened at that. “Banishment, however, is.”

Abby nodded. “We’ll talk to Kane and the council about it. I think it’s a good idea. Commander?”

“I will of course explain to you in the future some traditions among the clans. There are some punishments that are universal among us, such as banishment, but each clan often handles internal issues itself, without interference from others, though there are avenues for recourse if there is a feeling that a clan leader is acting outside the boundaries of what might be proper or fair.”

The light had dimmed in the meeting room as another evening crept over the forests. This one brought shades of melancholy with it because Clarke would be leaving in the morning.

“I have another matter I wish to discuss with you both,” Lexa said, and Abby and Clarke waited, expressions expectant.

“The poison that was going to be used in the water supply came in boxes from the mountain. Perhaps _Skaikru_ may be able to tell us more about it and what it was used for there.”

“Yes,” Abby said before Clarke spoke. “We would of course do that. Can we send a box back to Arkadia with Clarke? There are facilities there that are better equipped to do this sort of thing.”

“Thank you, Chancellor. Is that amenable to you, Clarke? The boxes are small. Easily carried in a pack.”

“Absolutely.”

“Make sure you’re careful with it,” Abby said. “Hazmat precautions until we know for sure what we’re dealing with. It might be a biotoxin.”

“But if it is, it’s probably not something airborne, which would defeat the purpose of tainting a water supply.”

“Just be careful. Check with Jackson and Raven on hazmat equipment.”

She nodded and looked at Lexa. “Anything else?”

“No. Thank you both. I’ll have Balta deliver a box to your quarters. The poison is in sealed glass containers in the boxes, held in place by padding.”

“Good to know.”

A knock sounded on the door.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and Val leaned in. She gave a brief nod to both Abby and Clarke and Clarke’s eyes widened. She looked first at Val, then at Lexa, then back at Val.

“ _Heda_ , _Indra en Wash ste ogud_. _Emo set raun gon gonahou_.” 22

“ _Os_.”

Val closed the door and Lexa stood. “I have other business to attend to. Thank you both for your time. Do either of you require anything further?”

“No,” Clarke said as she stood, as well. “I’m going to talk with the Chancellor about what to talk about when I get to Arkadia and then I’ll be in my quarters.”

Abby got up, too. “I’ll see you in a bit, Clarke. And I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow, Commander.”

Lexa nodded.

“Wait. I’ll come with you,” Clarke said.

“Okay. I’ll be out here.” Abby left, but she didn’t shut the door completely.

“Can I see you later?” Clarke asked and Lexa was struck by how formality created boundaries between people who in other situations had none.

“I was going to ask you the same question.”

“I really want to see you.” She lowered her voice. “Actually, I always want to see you.”

Lexa refrained from touching her, though the urge was almost overwhelming. “I have the same feeling about you.” She smiled. “I’ll be in my quarters later.”

Clarke smiled back and there was nothing Lexa wouldn’t do to see that smile every chance she got. She followed Clarke into the hallway beyond and watched with amusement as Clarke once again stared at Val before she went to the lift. Lexa, Val, and several guards got on, as well. Clarke and Abby stepped off on the floor where _Skaikru_ was housed while Lexa and the others remained on it until the first floor, Lexa thinking about Jax. He would not redeem himself, she predicted, and would probably cause many problems. She hoped Clarke would be able to convince Kane of that.

At the guardhouse, she issued further instructions to Wash regarding the trip with Izik back to his _Delfikru_ village. Indra had selected four warriors to accompany and Ferris had brought his scout for instructions, as well. After that, Lexa selected two more warriors to accompany the main _Skaikru_ contingent back to Arkadia.

That task done, Lexa dismissed them and took the cup of tea Indra proffered and they stood outside watching a junior warrior practice session while there was still light.

“What news?” Indra asked.

“I lifted the banishment from two of the _natrona_. The other, however, I did not. I gave him six months to prove himself worthy of it.”

Indra grunted, noncommittal.

“He will fail.” She sipped.

“My thoughts as well. What does Clarke think?” She stood with her arms crossed, watching the warriors.

Lexa shot her a glance. “She did not wish to lift his banishment, but because he is so new the ground, she agreed to this probationary period.”

“And the Chancellor?”

Lexa made a noise in the back of her throat and Indra grinned. “Yes, _plangona_?” Lexa said, almost testy. “You have something to say?”

“Impressing the mother may be a much harder task than impressing the daughter.”

She shrugged.

“Although coaxing Clarke to bed was no easy feat,” she teased. “Perhaps you will eventually win the mother over.”

“I fail to see the usefulness of this conversation.”

“Then we are at odds, _Heda_ , because I am enjoying it immensely.”

Lexa chuckled against the rim of her cup. The sounds of metal on metal rang out as the junior warriors sparred. “Titus knows.”

“I told you he did.”

“We spoke.”

“Oh?”

“Yesterday. He will speak with you and Balta about strategies to deal with possible questions when the news begins to spread.”

She snorted. “It’s an open secret, _Heda_.”

“As I told him it was.”

“Although the people most likely to know are guards,” she said, tone innocent. “Who stand outside your quarters at night.”

A wave of heat engulfed her neck as she flushed and she was glad for the evening shadows.

“But they may think it is temporary,” Indra said, and there was a question in her tone.

Lexa didn’t respond to it. “Warriors tend not to care about the intimate affairs of each other, as long as they do not interfere with the duties we each have to carry out.”

They stood in silence for a while, Lexa thinking again about what a relationship with Clarke really entailed and how it might come to pass.

“This is more than temporary,” Indra finally said.

“ _Sha_.”

“You’re sure.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Then we will find ways to ensure it.”

Lexa relaxed. “You aren’t going to lecture me on the appropriateness of it?”

“Titus already has. And you’ve been thinking about it since it happened.”

“Mmm.” She took another drink. “I have been, but I also like the way I feel.”

“Somehow—and I never thought I would say this about _Klark kom Skaikru_ —she has freed parts of you that I have not seen in a long time. Or perhaps you simply decided to let her do that.”

“Maybe.” She finished her tea. “Clarke can be very persuasive.”

Indra grunted again and Lexa smiled.

“There is much work to do, _plangona_ , in preparation for Roan and for the festival.”

“I will find many things to keep you busy while Clarke is in Arkadia,” Indra said, gruff. “Of that you need not worry.” She took Lexa’s cup. “Your business here is concluded. I have a feeling Balta will want you to eat.”

She didn’t argue and instead clapped her on the shoulder and returned to the tower.

Balta met her halfway, accompanied by two warriors and Freya.

“ _Heda_ ,” Balta and Freya said on one accord.

“ _Sha_.”

“May we interrupt you?” Balta asked.

“Certainly.” She looked at Freya, who met her gaze and held it.

“I believe _Freya kom Delfikru_ has something to say,” Balta said.

Lexa nodded. “Speak.”

“ _Heda_ ,” Freya said, “I have considered the position of interim council representative, and I will accept.”

“I am pleased at your decision. You will then be remaining in Polis for the next few weeks if that is amenable.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Are your current quarters acceptable?”

“Oh, yes. _Mochof_.”

“Then I will speak with you tomorrow at some point, as my schedule allows, about what this may entail. You might consider speaking with the other council members.”

“I have already begun,” Freya said and Lexa nodded again.

“Very well. I thank you for your willingness to perform this service while _Delfikru_ determines who the next representative will be during what is certainly a personally difficult time for you.”

She regarded her, surprised perhaps that someone of Lexa’s stature would say such things to her. “We do what we must.”

Lexa held her gaze a moment longer then turned to Balta.

“ _Heda_ , that concludes the business for the day. Your evening is your own," Balta said.

Freya discreetly withdrew and started walking back to the tower with one guard.

“Ah. Except for wound inspection and dinner.”

Balta smiled. “I will accompany you to your quarters.”

“And _Skaikru_?” Lexa asked as they walked.

“With the exception of the Chancellor, preparing to leave tomorrow after first light. Clarke, Raven, Tam, and Mora will ride ahead to meet the Rover.”

" _Os_."

“Where would you like to eat?” Balta asked as they entered the tower.

“My quarters.” She didn’t wish to deal with anyone on the council besides Clarke, and even though the effects of Clarke’s massage had lingered long into the afternoon, she was tired and a bit irritable.

“I will meet you there,” Balta said and Lexa nodded and stepped onto the lift with her guards.

Once she had eaten and bathed and changed into more comfortable clothing, Balta changed her bandages again, though her wounds were already well on their way to healed.

“Will there be anything else, _Heda_?” Balta asked.

“No. _Mochof_. I will see you in the morning.” Barring any unforeseen circumstances. She couldn’t remember a time when that thought hadn’t stuck in the back of her mind, when she hadn’t wondered what emergencies might present themselves even at night. The past few nights had been a welcome respite but she knew not to trust their frequency.

Balta smiled and placed the dinner dishes on a tray. “ _Reshop_.”

“ _En yu_.”

Once she had left and quiet had settled over the room, Lexa settled into a cross-legged position on her balcony and closed her eyes, letting the sounds of the city wash over her then fade as she calmed and let the day recede from her like a tide. When she opened her eyes again nightfall had joined her. She got up, stretched, and set to work sharpening her swords.

She was halfway through the second when a knock sounded. “ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and much to her pleasure, Clarke entered.

“The guard told me to just go in, but...”

“They have instructions, when I am expecting you.” She got up and kissed her before Clarke could say anything else. “I don’t like the distance that formal duties place between us,” Lexa said as she nuzzled Clarke’s jaw, letting the smell and feel of her fill her senses.

Clarke inhaled sharply and made a delightful little noise. “I’m glad you said that. Because I don’t, either.” She stroked the nape of her neck with one hand while the other rested on her shoulder. “Though I can see you’ve been productive with your less formal duties.” She grinned and glanced over Lexa’s shoulder at the table.

“One of many tasks I must complete as _Heda_.” She brushed another kiss over Clarke’s lips and then Clarke pulled her close and they stayed like that for a while, standing between the table and door, enmeshed.

“Who was that warrior who came to the conference room that looks like you?” Clarke asked, head still on her shoulder.

Lexa laughed.

“What?”

“You, _Klark kom Skaikru_. Always with questions.”

She stared up at her, smiling. “Not always. Last night, for example.”

“Noted.” Lexa kissed her again. “ _Val kom Trikru_. Do you truly think she looks like me?”

“Well, I mean, from a distance. I’ll let you know when I’m up close.”

“So you intend to be up close to Val?” She raised her eyebrows, teasing.

She snorted. “I’ll know the difference.”

“Are you sure?”

Clarke lightly swatted her abdomen. “Yes.”

Lexa grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Would you mistake her for me if you saw her dressed as _Heda_ in the city, surrounded by guards?”

“I guess I might.”

“That is the point.”

“So right after Nia took me prisoner, Ontari told her that she had just seen you in Polis.” She chewed her lip, brow furrowed. “But you were already much closer, weren’t you?”

“Mmm,” Lexa said. “That, too, is the point.”

“How long has she been disguising herself as you?”

“A few times. She has worked on some of my mannerisms, too, and sounding more like me. There are a very few among my warriors who know that she does this.”

“Did you go out looking for someone like that? To be a double?”

“No. But Indra suggested it and after Val is dressed like me and is in facepaint, she’s able to fool many people. There are two people on the council who know. Three including you.”

“Atlan and Ferris,” Clarke said.

“ _Wanheda_ is wise.”

“I’m glad you’ve come to understand that.” Clarke pulled her into a kiss and Lexa lost herself against her, in the taste of her and the sensation of her lips against hers. “I’m packed up, but I’m really going to miss you,” Clarke murmured against her mouth. “You have no idea.”

“I think I do.” She brushed Clarke’s hair out of her face. “Because I am going to miss you, too.”

“I’m leaving the radio.”

“Good,” she said, relieved.

“I need to hear your voice, at least.”

Lexa didn’t respond and instead just pulled her close again, wondering what the future held for them and hoping there would come a time when they didn’t need to hide so much.

“Will we ever have more than a couple of days together here and there?” Clarke’s hands were on Lexa’s lower back, which made Lexa think about things other than talking.

“I hope so. The festival is at least seven days.”

“I’ll take it. Even though I know you’ll be busy with the party.”

“As you will be.” She kissed the top of Clarke’s head.

“I’m busy with one thing right now,” she said, hand on Lexa’s cheek. “And that’s you. Unless you wanted to finish up with your sword, there.” She gestured with her chin at the table. “I’ll try not to distract you.”

“Too late.”

Clarke laughed. “I’ve made _Heda_ lose focus?”

“Where my swords are concerned, yes.”

“Just that?” And her voice took on a low, husky tone that Lexa wished she could carry with her always.

“You have proven to be most distracting in many regards.”

Clarke brushed her thumb over Lexa’s lips and she felt it all the way to her feet. “Sounds like this has been a problem for a while,” Clarke said with a smirk. “I’m sort of a healer. I might be able to help. But it will require an examination.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” she said as she pulled Clarke toward the bed and into a series of long, hot kisses that left them both panting and struggling out of their clothes, left them entangled, skin to skin, heat to heat, and there was nowhere else Lexa ever wanted to be.

And when Clarke finally relaxed against her in sleep, Lexa pulled her closer and stayed awake as long as she could, listening to her breathe, warm and safe against her, wrapped around her not only physically but in ways Lexa still didn’t fully understand, but she welcomed all of it, no matter what the future might hold. They were here now, together, and that was all that mattered. She kissed Clarke’s forehead and let sleep claim her.

 

18 _Yujleda_ : Broad Leaf clan [you’ve seen this one]  
19 _Otaim_ : Always [you’ve seen this several times]  
20 _Klark en Abi kom Skaikru komba raun_ : Clarke and Abby approach [you’ve seen this one, too!]  
21 _Nou get yu daun_ : Don’t worry [you should totally know this one by now.]  
22 _Heda_ , _Indra en Wash ste ogud_. _Emo set raun gon gonahou*_ : _Heda_ , Indra and Wash are ready. They’re waiting at the guardhouse. [there’s no term for “guardhouse” in Peterson yet, so I combined “warrior” and “house” to create “guardhouse”.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, everybody! I'm totes drunk-posting this. Back from Dragon Con and...omg. Anyway, I'm totally feeling Lexa's growing sadness as it gets closer to the time Clarke has to go back to Arkadia and do Clarke leadership crap. However -- the whole Freya thing. I'm liking that. Might be something to explore later. But what I can tell you for sure is that next up, we're going to hang out with Clarke for a bit in Arkadia, where she realizes how freaking much she misses her freaking Lexa. And the feeling is mutual on Lexa's part.
> 
> Ran into somebody at Dragon Con who wanted to know when the next update is. HERE IT IS! MUAH! Thanks to you and to all of you for the comments, kudos, and questions. Harass me on [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) if you wanna talk about this or talk about what my next projects might be or what you think I should do next. I love hearing from you. :) Oh, BTW, hoping to get another installment up in the next two weeks. :D
> 
> Some songs that served as creative fodder while I wrote this installment: X Ambassadors, "The Devil You Know"; PVRIS, "Same Soul" (y'all, I have been on a major PVRIS kick lately); Thirty Seconds to Mars, "Walk on Water"; Yarin Glam, "Before I Go"


	72. Talk Isn't Always Cheap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes back to Arkadia and Raven just keeps on digging into her private business, y'all. Meanwhile, in Polis, Lexa is having some insecurities and in the middle of that, she has to deal with Abby.

Clarke adjusted her position on the bench in the back of the Rover so she could stretch her injured leg out a little. Raven noticed and kicked her pack across the floorboards of the vehicle with her good leg.

“Put your foot up,” she said, still holding on with both hands to the Rover’s rollbar as Miller drove it up an incline and Clarke thought that the ride might have been smoother had she remained with Tam on her horse. Regardless, she did put her foot on Raven’s pack and it relieved some of the soreness in her knee. She wished desperately to be back in Lexa’s bed, tangled up with her, hair spilling across her chest—

“Busted.”

Clarke looked at Raven, confused. “What?”

“You were thinking about her.”

“Who?” But she knew.

Raven rolled her eyes. “Lexa. Your very own Commander Sexy.”

“All right, fine. If I admit that yes, I think she’s attractive, will you stop with this?”

She grinned, triumphant. “Maybe. How attractive? Like, ‘oh, that’s a pleasant sight’ to ‘fucking take me now, I’m burning up with lust’?”

Clarke shook her head and stared out the front window as Miller maneuvered around a tree. Sam sat in the front with him. Clearly, there had been lots of driving here because there were already faint double-tracks etched into the forest floor.

“C’mon, Griff. How far over does the needle on your lust-o-meter go when you see her?”

“Seriously? Lust-o-meter?”

She shrugged, and a sly smile graced her lips. “I’d say it’s at super-hot, from the way you were looking at her this morning when you said goodbye.”

Had she been that obvious? Fortunately, they hit a bump and Raven had to focus on staying in place.

“Sorry,” Miller said from the front. “Trying to take it easy, but this track isn’t the best.”

“We’re all good,” Clarke said.

“Why don’t you just ask her?”

She looked over at Raven. “Ask her what?”

“If maybe she’d be interested in getting to know you a little better?” She said it in a sing-song tone and poked her foot with her own.

“And how will _that_ go, Reyes? You don’t just ask the Commander of the clans to dinner.”

“Ah-ha! I knew it. You’ve been thinking about it.”

She spent every day trying to figure out how to get more time with Lexa, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Raven that. “So? Me and bunches of other people, probably.”

Raven slumped a little as the ride smoothed out. “That’s probably true,” she said, and Clarke kept her gaze on her foot because thinking that others watched Lexa with those kinds of thoughts about her did not sit well.

“So what did you think about Polis?” she asked.

“It was pretty amazing, actually.” Raven adjusted her bad leg. “I see why you like it. Besides Lexa.”

Clarke ignored the dig. “Any new thoughts about the bombing?”

“Yeah. But they don’t go anywhere. You left a radio with Lexa, right?”

She nodded.

“Could you ask her if there’s a chance somebody could find out more about where Mykal got the bombs?”

“He said Danyel got them from Nia and then gave them to him.”

“But there might be more to that. Like, where exactly did she get them? And who gave them to her? Because I doubt she built them herself. Maybe Danyel will want to lighten his conscience before…” she cleared her throat.

She doubted he would, but she could try. “Okay. I’ll ask Lexa when I talk to her next.”

“Which will be tonight, no doubt,” Raven said with a smirk.

Clarke flushed and hoped Raven didn’t see it.

“And she always has time for you. Interesting.”

“Enough about me. How’s Gina?”

Raven shrugged but her shit-eating grin told a much different story.

“Good. I like her.”

“Funny. She says the same about you.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” Clarke said as she adjusted her foot on Raven’s pack.

“Good plan. Gina may not walk around a snarky bitch like me all day, but she’s a hard-ass if you cross her. She’ll give you a chance or two, but after that, she’s done.”

They both held on as Miller worked the Rover through a particularly rough patch.

“Sorry,” he said again.

“You okay back there?” Sam asked as he checked on them.

“All good.” Raven gave him a mock salute then looked at Clarke. “I think Bell might be jealous of Lexa.”

Clarke glanced at the front of the Rover, but the noise of their trip would probably mask this conversation. Sam and Miller were talking, but she couldn’t make out a lot of what they said over engine and terrain noise. She looked at Raven again. “Jealous? Why?”

Raven looked at her like everybody else in the world had figured out a mystery and only Clarke was the one who hadn’t.

“I know he doesn’t trust her and he worries that she’ll betray _Skaikru_ again—“

“It’s a little more personal than that,” Raven said, and she quickly changed seats so she was next to her. “You and Lexa have some kind of understanding—a bond—that he doesn’t have with you, and it bothers the fuck out of him.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He didn’t have to. He’s totally transparent. O mentioned it, too. She said she couldn’t figure out at first what his deal was the past few days, and then she realized it’s because whenever he’s around you and Lexa, he’s basically competing with Lexa.”

Clarke shot her a look as she braced for the next hill. “For what?”

Raven shrugged. “Special Clarke attention.”

“You’re serious.”

They hit another bump and it seemed Clarke’s teeth rattled in her skull.

“Shit. Sorry,” Miller called back. “We’re almost to a smoother part.”

“You okay?” Raven asked.

“I’ll live.” She adjusted her leg again. “Special Clarke attention? What the hell is that?”

“Look, I don’t think this is about Bell having feelings or anything for you—”

“Good. Because I don’t think of him that way.”

“I know that. I just think that he thought he was the only one with a special Clarke bond and then all of a sudden there’s Lexa, who totally fucked with you at the mountain but now here you are, super cozy with her.”

Clarke sighed. But it would explain some of the prickliness.

“He basically needs to get laid,” Raven said matter-of-factly.

“There’s an image I really didn’t want to have.”

She snorted a laugh. “He might also be a little pissed because Gina’s not a go-to for that anymore.”

“Um. You can stop talking about this any time.”

“Seriously. It might help all of us if somebody did the deed with him.”

“That’s not going to be me.”

“Or me. But hey, maybe at the party…”

“Why are we talking about sex?” Clarke shot her a look.

“Hey, it started as a reasonably benign convo about why Bellamy is having an issue with you.”

Clarke leaned back as they hit the promised smooth spot, mildly irritated. She didn’t have the patience to babysit Bellamy’s ego, but Raven’s comments did provide some insight. Maybe he did have some weird jealousy issue with Lexa and, to a lesser extent, Raven because he and Gina had been off-and-on. He could be taking that out on her, too.

“It’s not your issue,” Raven said after a while.

She looked at her.

“Bellamy’s problem. It’s his shit to deal with.”

“Unfortunately, he makes it everybody else’s shit.”

“So tell him to stop. If he’s going to be an ass, it’s not doing you any favors no matter what strategies you and the council develop with the coalition.” She shrugged and leaned back, too. “Sometimes it’s not worth the trouble to get what you need out of him.” She closed her eyes.

“That is probably some of the best advice you’ve given me,” Clarke said, also closing her eyes.

“Better than suggesting you find a way to take Commander Sexy to bed?”

“Seriously, Reyes?”

She laughed. “Fine. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Much.” She tried to relax a little, but even in this alleged smooth part of the ride she had to brace herself to keep from being jostled. Raven had lapsed into silence and Clarke allowed herself to think again about Lexa and leaving Polis that morning. They had said their more intimate goodbyes in Lexa’s quarters, but it had been a struggle, standing outside the tower waiting for Tam and Mora, to not pull her into another kiss.

And it seemed that the more time she spent with her, the more she wanted. Was this what commitment felt like? Because with Lexa, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. What would it look like, to have that with the Commander of the thirteen clans? Was there some kind of ceremony or did Grounders just have personal agreements with each other about their relationships? And in Lexa’s case, was it something that needed to be kept quiet? Even if the latter was the case, she wanted to make sure that Lexa understood that she, too, was willing to swear fealty to formalize even a relationship kept largely private.

But things had to be different for the Commander than for average Grounders. She would ask around, see what she could figure out without being obvious.

“Home,” Raven announced and Clarke came to with a start. She hadn’t realized she had dozed.

The Rover slowed as it descended the incline toward the gates of Arkadia.

“I might have a project for you,” Clarke said as they came to a stop and waited for the gates to open.

“Does it involve explosions?”

“No.”

“Then what’s the point?”

Clarke smiled. “I may need help figuring out what kind of poison Nia’s forces were going to use in Polis’s water supply.”

“Oh. That could be interesting. Presumably not an airborne toxin.”

“Presumably not. It’s from the mountain. We’ll probably have to examine it in medical.”

“Hazmat suits, too. You never know.”

She nodded and Miller eased the Rover forward through the gates toward the shop.

“I’ll check in with Sinclair and Jackson before we do anything. And Kane.”

“All right. You know where to find me.”

“At Gina’s?”

“Ha, ha.” She shoulder-bumped her. “Try the lab of doom.”

“But you _are_ going to spend some time with Gina, right?”

Raven looked at her, feigning shock. “I am a scientist. Some things come first.”

“That’s what _she_ said,” Clarke said with a smirk.

Raven stared at her, open-mouthed. “Okay, that was a good one, Griff.”

“Thank you. But seriously. Spend some time with her. Because you never know when you won’t have any.”

Miller parked the Rover in maintenance and Sam got out before Raven could respond. He opened the back and unloaded the duffle bag of guns and then took the shovels out before he unloaded a wooden box of alcohol and another of spiced jerked meat and pastries that Lexa had insisted go with the party. She had sent two extra warriors to carry them to the rendezvous with the Rover.

When he had taken the crates out, Raven handed him her pack then Clarke’s before she climbed out, Clarke behind her.

“Make sure Kane gets those,” Clarke said, motioning at the wooden boxes Lexa had sent.

“Yep,” Miller said.

"And make sure Kane gives you some of it."

"Oh, yeah." He smiled.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Raven said to Clarke as she took her pack from Sam.

“Yeah.” Clarke stretched.

“Thanks, Miller,” she said.

“Yeah." He smiled, too. “Sorry about the shitty ride.”

“Like we had a choice.”

“There is truth to that. I’ll go tell Kane you’re here.” He left and Clarke turned to Sam. “Do they know at the gates that we’ve got more coming?”

“Yeah.”

“Including Lexa’s scouts?”

“Yep. Relax, Griff. I’ve got it covered.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll walk you to your quarters. Where you stayed when you got here after you went to the mountain the first time.”

Probably Abby’s doing, she figured.

“Great.” She let him carry her pack as they left maintenance. He adjusted his speed to her and her limp.

“How’s your knee?”

“Coming along. Doesn’t hurt as bad as it did right after. Every day it’s a little better.”

Several people stopped to talk with them and give them both hugs, so it took probably twenty minutes instead of the normal ten it should have taken to get to their destination.

“Guess I’ll see you later,” Clarke said as she opened the door.

“Um, do you have a sec?”

“Sure.” She motioned him inside and he set her pack carefully on the floor. From his expression, she closed the door. “What’s going on?”

“Okay, I haven’t had a chance to talk with you much, but I’ve got a bad feeling about Jax.”

“Oh?”

“You told me to keep an eye on him in Polis, and I know Octavia did, too, so she probably told you some things.”

“She did. Did he say anything to you?”

“No. It’s a just his attitude and a feeling I have and I kind of knew him before he bailed.” He shrugged. “Kind of fun if all you were doing was partying or hanging out, but he’s all about himself.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“And he’ll do anything to make sure he comes out on top.”

“Like maybe follow someone like Pike to the mountain?”

“Easily. And worse.” He ran his hand through his hair. “He totally messed with Lora. I don’t know her that well, so I didn’t feel like I could just bust in and tell her he wasn’t solid, but now I wish I had.”

“Thanks for your honesty. The deal is, he has six months to prove that he’s willing to be part of the community here. If he is, and we believe it, Lexa will lift his banishment.”

“If he doesn’t?”

“She won’t.”

He nodded, solemn. “And he can’t stay here, either, right? If she doesn’t?”

“That’s generally the plan.”

He rubbed his chin. “So we have to deal with him for six months.”

“He might surprise us.” She doubted it.

“I wouldn’t bet on it. But here’s my deal, Griff. I don’t know you that well, but I feel like I’ve been through some shit with you, and you’re solid. If it’s okay with you, I want to keep an eye on Jax.”

“That is more than okay,” she said, trying not to sound obviously relieved.

“I know the Chancellor and Kane will probably do the same thing, but I’d rather back channel this with you. Jax will know that the council will be monitoring him, so he’ll make sure to be legit around them. But around me and others not really associated directly with them…” he trailed off and shrugged.

“And you’re willing to do this?”

“Hell, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Like I said. You’re solid. But also, I like it here, for all the shit we’ve been through. I like what we could have here, with our people and the Grounders. And I sure as hell don’t want an asshole like Jax to screw it up.”

“So how do you want to do this? Because I’m probably going to be spending time in Polis.”

He smiled. “Back channel. I’ll radio you. What about every ten days at sunset? Use channel twenty.”

She frowned. “How are you going to get access to a radio?”

“I have to do patrols. It’s not that hard to borrow one for a little longer than usual.”

This could work. She nodded slowly, debating. She didn’t know him that well, but he had come to the ground with her and gone to the mountain, too. “Okay.”

“Great. I’ll start my countdown the day you go back to Polis. That’s day one of the first ten-day cycle.”

“Done. Thanks.”

He nodded and moved to the door but hesitated and looked back at her. “I know you’re probably thinking this is weird, that I’d offer to do this. But it’s true, what I said. For all the shit, I like it down here and I want to build something that lasts. Anybody who is not on board with that I want to know about and I want you to know about.”

“Fine. But why me?”

He smiled again. “I saw what you did when we came down here. And I’ve been in the mountain with you. I trust you, Griff. You believe in this place, too, and you’re willing to work with others to get things done.” He opened the door. “See you around.”

“Yeah,” she said, and when he shut the door she locked it. She really wanted a shower before she did anything else, but that would probably have to wait. Instead, she unpacked and set the cloth-wrapped box of poison on the bed. It occurred to her that it most likely was not a biohazard, because how would parasites like cryptosporidium survive a hundred years? It would be too difficult to harness that inside the mountain.

So most likely it was an inorganic poison. Maybe some kind of acid or insecticide. She thought back on some of her coursework. Wouldn’t it take a whole lot more poison than simply these little bottles to do damage to a large water supply? A few people might get sick, but you’d need a lot more compound to cripple a city with it. Unless there was something about the Polis system that rendered it effective at spreading a poison around.

She picked up the box and opened it. The three vials sat nestled in their padding, looking innocuous in their current state. Grounders may not have known much about how poisons like this work, so it was possible that whatever was in these bottles was relatively harmless, but Lexa couldn’t take a chance on that and couldn't risk a city. And Nia probably hadn’t understood much about non-Grounder poisons, either, so if Emerson told her they would take out the water supply in Polis, she wouldn’t have questioned it. Emerson might have figured it was a way to further mess with Lexa and Clarke. And even Nia.

The graphic on the top of the box indicated the universal symbol for poison, so whatever was in the vials was probably bad in that regard, but it might not be capable of doing much to a water supply. She closed the box and latched it and set it back on the bed then unpacked her clothing and a small rolled-up piece of parchment on which she had done a sketch of Lexa out of her Commander gear, wearing a loose dark shirt and a teasing half-smile, her hair falling loosely around her shoulders.

Clarke stared at it for a while, a physical pang in her chest at how much she missed her though it had only been a few hours.

“Clarke?”

She rolled it back up and put it in her pack and went to open the door to Kane. “Hi.”

He grinned at her and pulled her into a hug. “Good to see you. How are you?”

“Fine,” she said, muffled by his shoulder. “You?”

“Business as usual here.” He gave her an appraising stare, as if he was looking for injuries. “Abby told me about your knee.”

“Among other things. I’m okay. Just a little sore.”

“Well, I’m under orders not to let you overdo it for the next few days.” And then he shrugged. “But I know how you are, so…”

Clarke smiled. “Don’t worry. I don’t like having a messed-up knee, so I am trying to take it easy.”

“Good. Have you eaten?”

“Not since this morning.”

“Then come on.”

She closed the door and set a new combination on the keypad. If Kane noticed it, he didn’t comment and instead chatted all the way to the mess hall about things they had been able to develop in terms of food supplies and greenhouses. She listened, offering a few questions and comments. He sat with her as she munched on bread and dried meat. It wasn’t bad, but Polis definitely was better and it made her miss it and Lexa again.

“So when do you want me to address the council about what all happened with Nia?” she asked between bites.

“Tomorrow afternoon would be great. I’ve already scheduled it.”

She nodded. “And what do they need to know about the _kongeda_?”

“I’ve told them that it works like the Ark, with each clan a separate piece, like we were set up before we came to the ground. I’ve told them to think of it as an Ark on the ground, and we all had misgivings at first about coming together with people we didn’t know much about, but we made it work. We had to, in order to survive, and that’s what we’re doing now.”

She smiled. “I’ve been using that comparison, too. What do you want me to tell them about Jax?”

He leaned forward a little. “I’ve already talked to the council a few times about this. Abby radioed yesterday after what happened, and I updated them. I think they need to hear from you about the reasons for his banishment and why his remains while the others don’t.”

She hid her frustration. That would not be an easy meeting.

“Don’t worry,” Kane said. “They know you wouldn’t do anything without good reason.”

“Are they comfortable working with me in this regard?”

“You’ve got me and Sinclair at the moment as completely on board. Terra is willing to work with Grounders, as is David—Miller’s father. He’s serving as an interim until the election.”

Clarke had suggested him as a council member, so that shouldn’t be too bad. He had always been pragmatic about dealing with situations on the ground and didn’t seem judgmental about Grounders.

“I don’t think you need to worry,” he said. “Abby told me about the festival in Polis and that it’s to commemorate the end of Mt. Weather and the beginning of a new era without Nia. Lexa is good about giving credit where it’s due, so commemorating Mt. Weather means we get some recognition.” He smiled. “We’ll send some people to Polis and have a party here, too.”

“What about the elections?”

“I think Lexa’s right. We’ll announce a few days before the party and hold voting over a day, then people will be able to relax.” His eyes seemed to sparkle. “I have it on good authority that the word about the party is getting around and some checking of the alcohol stores is under way.”

“Lexa sent some.”

“And it’s sitting in my quarters. What kind is it?”

“Wine, I think. But they also make this really good drink that’s popular with her warriors. Maybe she sent that. Or maybe both.”

“Well, it’s appreciated. Along with the food.”

She was about to respond when Miller approached the table. “Hey, Clarke. Tam and Mora are at the gates.”

“On my way.” She got up and took her plate—a beat-up metal disk—to the makeshift counter and placed it where the sign requested.

Kane accompanied her as she went to the gates. Tam and Mora were already dismounted inside Arkadia, each holding the reins of her respective horse.

“ _Heya_ ,” Clarke greeted them, relieved. She extended her hand and Tam grinned as they exchanged a Grounder forearm grip. Clarke did the same with Mora.

“ _Markus kom Skaikru_ ,” Tam said. “You are well?”

“I am. And it’s good to see you.” He looked past her at Mora. “Good to see you, too, _Mora kom Trikru_. Thank you for coming. And there’s a place behind the main structure for your horses. Clarke and I will accompany you then we will show you to your quarters.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Tam said. She and Mora fell into step with Clarke and Kane, and the small crowd that had gathered watched with interest as they passed. Clarke kept an eye on them and gauged the mood, but detected nothing beyond curiosity. Most went back to what they were doing right away, indicative, perhaps, of people like Lincoln and other Grounders from Indra’s warriors being in and around Arkadia for the past few weeks. She would definitely bring up the possibility of sending Arkers to Polis for educational exchange.

Kane was asking Tam some questions about what the horses might need and Clarke caught Mora’s eye. She limped a little closer. “Did you see anything on the way here?”

“Nothing that should not already be in the forest,” she said with a quick smile. “No sign of _Azgeda_.”

“What of any other _natrona kom Skaikru_?” she asked in a low voice.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. “No.”

Which was either good or bad, Clarke thought. If there were any other survivors from the mountain roaming around, hopefully they’d keep roaming. Far away from Arkadia and Polis.

“ _Nou get yu daun_ ,” Mora said softly. “ _Heda don tel osir op gon lufa au_.” 1

She smiled. Of course Lexa would tell them to watch for that.

“ _En osir na hez yu op_ _seintaim_.” 2

A lump formed in Clarke’s throat. “ _Mochof_ ,” she whispered and Mora gave her a nod.

“I’ve arranged for Tam and Mora to be housed near you,” Kane said over his shoulder, and another ripple of relief rolled through her. She found a place to sit while Mora and Tam watered their horses in the makeshift pasture and wiped them down. Back here, the grass was almost knee-high, so there would be good grazing. Once they tethered the horses, they all returned to the main structure and sure enough, Kane put them in quarters just a few doors down from Clarke.

“You are our guests,” Kane said to them. “And under our protection. Please let me or Clarke know if you need anything.”

“And I’ll let you know when the others arrive,” Clarke added.

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_ ,” Tam said and Kane shot her a look that was both amused and appreciative.

Kane walked with her to her door. “Do you need anything right now?”

“Not really.” She paused at the door. “Well, maybe. Lexa asked Mom and me if we could maybe identify the poison that Nia was going to use on the Polis water supply. Titus interrupted the plot and Lexa gave me one of the boxes.” She motioned him inside and handed the box to him and he looked inside.

“It would take a substantial amount of a toxin to take out a city’s water supply, wouldn’t it?” she asked.

“Yes, but we don’t know for sure what they were doing at Mt. Weather. Maybe they developed something really strong.” He handed it back. “Be careful.”

“I’m going to take it to Jackson and also tell Sinclair. Raven said she’d help if we need her to. Are there any other science-types who have experience with toxins or even pathogens?”

He frowned. “You think it might be a biotoxin?”

“I don’t know. I doubt it, but like you said, we don’t know what they were doing at the mountain.”

“Let’s have Jackson start dealing with it first, since he has medical training. Once Abby’s back, if we haven’t figured it out, she can work on it, too.”

Clarke nodded and re-wrapped the box in the cloth she’d brought from Polis. She didn’t want the logo showing as she walked it over to the med bay. “Want to come with me? If you have time, that is.”

“Thought you’d never ask.” He accompanied her and it took a little longer than it should have because people kept stopping to greet her and wish her well. A few gave her hugs. After the fifth—or maybe sixth—Clarke ducked into medical.

“You’re a natural,” Kane said.

“Natural what?”

“Politician.”

She shot him a look but didn’t respond and instead glanced around the room. A woman she vaguely recognized emerged from the back.

“Hi, Yanna,” Kane said. “Is Jackson around?”

“Yes. I’ll get him.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said. “By the way, I’m Clarke.”

Yanna’s eyes widened. “I thought so. I’m so glad to meet you.”

“I think I recognize you. Was your mother in the Guard?”

“She was.” Yanna’s voice held a note of pain and Clarke guessed her mother hadn’t made it to the ground.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she said softly, kicking herself for bringing it up.

She nodded and looked away. “I’ll get Jackson.”

“Shit,” Clarke muttered when she left.

Kane gave her arm a gentle sqeeze. “You didn’t know.”

“Her father?”

“He’s alive and on the ground. He’s helping at the vehicle shed. He managed to help get the Rovers up and running from Mt. Weather.”

Well, that was something. Clarke wondered how much gas they’d managed to acquire from there, too. It wouldn’t last forever, so there was something else to deal with, she decided. Horses.

“Hey,” Jackson said with a grin when he saw her. He was growing a beard and it threw her off because she’d never seen him with one. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks. Good to see you. And I have a project for you.”

“Oh, good. I was just lamenting that there’s never enough to do.” He winked.

“Can we talk somewhere else?”

The grin faded. “Sure. Exam room okay?”

“That’ll work.” She and Kane followed him into the room and Kane shut the door.

“What’s going on?” Jackson asked, worried.

“It’s not even on the scale of what’s been happening. It’s just probably not a good idea for info on this to get out until we know what we’re dealing with.” She unwrapped the box of poison and handed it to him. “Nia gave these to some of her loyalists to poison the water supply at Polis. The plot was obviously stopped, but Lexa would like to know what exactly this is.”

He visibly brightened. “How many boxes like this?”

“Three.”

He opened it. “And each had three of these?”

“Presumably. I haven’t seen the other two, but Lexa has and that’s how she described them.”

“Not much here. Either it’s a seriously strong toxin or it’s a miscalculation.” He didn’t remove any of the vials from the padding, but he ran his finger over one.

“Or Emerson gave it to Nia to feed her revenge plot. He might have known it wasn’t enough to do much of anything, but Nia wouldn’t have known,” Clarke said. “Abby wanted you to have a look at it and she said to make sure you take precautions. Treat it like a major hazmat.”

He chuckled. “Making sure everything’s in order even from another city. How is she, by the way?” He closed the box and wrapped it back in the cloth.

“Busy with the wounded from the bombing. And consulting with Lexa’s healers. She likes the idea of cross-pollinating.”

Kane smiled and Jackson’s eyes lit up.

“Yes. I like that, too,” he said. “The more people we can get trained in various medicinal approaches, the better. By the way, that was a great job you did stitching Jasper’s leg up. If you decide medicine’s your calling, we can always use someone who functions so well under pressure.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I appreciate that.” And she did, though she hadn’t felt medicine’s pull beyond a few tugs, especially before Jake died. After he was gone, she no longer cared for medicine, though she had learned quite a bit and appreciated the knowledge, which had come in handy on the ground.

“You have a knack for it,” Jackson said. “Anyway, who else can we bring in to the solving of this mystery?” He raised the box.

“Sinclair,” Kane said. “And Raven has offered to help."

“Excellent. I’ll talk with them both later. And—” he stopped at the door, “I’ll make sure it’s not discussed beyond our little circle of subterfuge.”

“Thanks, Jackson.”

“When are you leaving?” he asked, fingers still on the door handle.

“A week, probably.”

“Maybe we’ll know something by then.” He opened the door and she and Kane left. Yanna wasn’t in the main area, and Clarke was a little relieved after their initial meeting.

“Any plans now?” Kane asked her.

“Not really.” Beyond a shower, that is. “I was going to go see what Raven’s up to.”

“While you wait for the others,” Kane finished for her.

Clarke shrugged. “I just want to make sure everybody makes it back okay.”

“Sounds good. If you need anything, come and find me. I’m around.” He turned to go.

“Wait.”

He stopped.

“Who are Jax’s people?”

“His family?”

She nodded.

“He doesn’t have any. His father died before we came to the ground and his mother died long before that.”

“Friends?”

“Not really. I asked around after he left to follow Pike and Sanders, and people remembered him as fun, but shallow, was the word that was used. Nobody seemed to trust him.”

She crossed her arms. “You need to keep an eye on him.”

“I plan to.”

“He blames Mom for his father’s death.”

Kane’s eyebrows lifted and then he frowned.

“Look, we don’t need to go through details about the decision leading up to the Culling. What’s relevant here is that Jax has latched onto her as someone to blame.”

“Does he know about the elections?”

“No. Mom thought it would be best not to tell anyone before the formal announcement is made. That way, everybody who’s voting knows at the same time.”

He rubbed his jaw and nodded. “So what are you suggesting besides keeping an eye on him?”

“Just pay attention to any rumors that start that might mess with people’s heads—about Mom, the _kongeda_ , Grounders, the mountain—anything that doesn’t seem to have a reason for circulating. Jax doesn’t like to fight his own battles, but he’s one of those who plants seeds.”

“And if he does?”

“Call him out. And start some rumor campaigns of your own.”

He raised his eyebrows again.

“Like that never happened on the Ark,” she said with a scoff. “It’s important that you pay attention to even one person trying to stir things up. Because one person can do a lot of damage to internal unity.”

“Okay,” he said, but Clarke saw a touch of skepticism in his eyes.

“You need to get past that generational divide thing. Just because someone’s young doesn’t mean they’re not capable of causing serious problems. And tomorrow I’ll tell you more.”

“I don’t for a minute think that being young is indicative of a lack of any kind of ability. I might have in the past, but certain parties have changed my mind in that regard.” He smiled. “I’ll see you later. Get some rest.” He walked away and was immediately accosted by a couple of people who appeared to need to ask him a bunch of questions. She watched him for a few moments, thinking that he was much better with people in the day-to-day mundane situations than Abby, though he hadn’t always been that way.

The ground had changed them all, maybe. Or perhaps it was the responsibility of taking lives that weighed on him, on making the decision to pull a lever, in a manner of speaking. She knew that burden. Knew it intimately. She turned and went to the building that housed Raven’s lab, feeling the chill of ghosts, but these days it was more an echo than a companion and she wondered if it was because she had stopped fighting her feelings not only in that regard but in others, too.

“Hey, Griff,” Raven said when she pushed the door of the lab open. “What’s up?”

She closed the door behind her. “I talked to Jackson. He said he’d consult with Sinclair and probably you about the poison.”

“Okay.” She was checking her shelves.

“What are you looking for?”

“Nothing in particular. But I can tell if somebody borrowed something and didn’t bring it back.” She used a snarky emphasis on “borrowed.”

“I thought you kept this place locked.”

“I do, but Sinclair has the code and it _is_ a workshop, so there are tools and shit that people need and Sinclair sometimes is a little too trusting with the code. I change it every few days, but…” she rolled her eyes. “He’s a great dude, but damn.”

Clarke sat at one of the stools at Raven’s big worktable. “What’s your sense of Jax?”

“Can’t stand him.” She bent and checked another shelf.

“Why not?”

“He’s one of those manipulative assholes—” she straightened and looked at her. “Are you feeling guilty about not lifting his banishment?”

“No. Just a little worried about how people here will take it.”

“You’re in luck. He’s not popular. You don’t need to justify it.”

“I have to talk to the council tomorrow.”

“Ah. This calls for a Raven special.”

Clarke gave her a look. “A what?”

“Trust me. When have I ever steered you wrong?” She put her hand up when Clarke started to retort. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.” And then she went into the adjoining room and Clarke heard her moving around. She emerged with a battered metal canteen and two equally battered metal cups.

“Every once in a while Jasper and Monty make a good batch.” She set a cup in front of Clarke and unscrewed the top of the canteen then poured some of the liquid into it. She did the same thing with the other cup. “Lincoln added a local herb.”

Clarke picked up her cup and sniffed. It had the pungent smell of strong alcohol but also a woodsy, mellow smell. She sipped. Strong, but definitely much smoother than the usual that Monty and Jasper mixed. “Not bad,” she admitted.

“I’m giving credit to Lincoln.” Raven tapped her cup against Clarke’s. “I know I’m not the easiest to deal with, but for real, Clarke. I’m really glad you’re still here.”

“Same to you.” She took another sip.

“Don’t worry about the council,” Raven said. “Sinclair’s there. And Kane. And Terra is always asking Lincoln questions about what grows down here. She’s totally willing to work with Grounders. And Miller’s dad is just interested in what keeps Arkadia cohesive and working to making things into a more permanent settlement.” She leaned on the table next to her. “Terra knows Jax. Not a fan.”

That was good news.

“Seriously. It’ll be fine.”

She shrugged and sipped. “Nothing is ever fine down here. There are contingencies and then extra contingencies but nothing ever goes according to plan.”

“Point taken. But what the hell is obsessing about it now going to do?”

She laughed, surprised at this more relaxed version of Raven. “Gina is a good influence on you.”

She shot her a look. “You know who else might be a good influence?”

“Wait until I drink more before we talk about that.”

Her eyes widened. “Fine. But Gina’s told me about Terra. She’s not a fan of Pike’s, either. And Gina grew up on Farm Station. She’s known Jax most of her life. He wasn’t popular before we came to the ground and he’s still not.” She took a drink. “I think most people would be glad to see him leave.”

“They might get their wish,” she muttered against the rim of her cup.

“That’s what Gina says. Jax is an asshole and won’t ever be anything else. She said the only person he cares about is himself.” She set her cup down. “Kind of like Murphy.”

She looked up at her. Raven rarely brought him up.

“That guy. Pure high-grade asshole. But the difference between him and Jax is that Murphy never pretended to be anything other than an asshole. Jax tries to hide it. In a weird way, I have more respect for Murphy because he never lied about it.”

They were silent for a while, Clarke thinking about what Raven had been through since she left the Ark alone, with help from Abby. She had stepped right into getting things done and though Clarke knew Raven was a workaholic because that’s what kept her ghosts at bay, she also knew it came from a place of wanting to prove herself, and to feel useful, and from a place of pure, unadulterated passion to learn everything she could.

“I wonder what happened to him,” Raven said. “And Jaha.”

“It might be for the best if we never find out.”

Raven tapped her cup against Clarke’s again. “Jaha’s trouble. Smart, but he has a weird streak in him, like he’s mission-driven or something. Religious, maybe, but not religion in the classic sense. The force behind it, though—the need to believe that he’s right and everything he does is right—is what always creeped me out about him. Never trusted him.”

Clarke listened, surprised at Raven’s insight. Normally she focused on objects and how they worked. It never occurred to her that the logic she applied to taking something apart and figuring it out could also be applied to people.

Raven smirked. “Yeah, so, I pay attention to things other than bombs and gadgets. But you deal with people all the time, so is it any wonder I prefer the company of my tools?” She made an expansive gesture that encompassed the lab.

She smiled. “I think there are probably exceptions to that. After all, I’m here.”

“I rarely get to see you so yes, you are always an exception,” she said with an exaggerated eyeroll.

Clarke swirled the liquid in her cup, staring into it. “It feels like it’s been years since we came to the ground rather than months.”

Her expression turned thoughtful. “Yeah. It does.”

“Weird, how different things are now.” She looked up at her and they exchanged a shared acknowledgement of how far they had come and how far they had to go.

“Nobody ever said any of this shit would be easy,” Raven said after a while. “I never thought I’d end up down here, but I’m glad I did.” She poured another splash of alcohol into her cup and added to Clarke’s.

“I am, too.”

“Of course you’re glad I ended up down here. I saved your ass many times,” she said with another smirk and Clarke smiled as she lifted the cup to her lips. She missed Lexa and Polis but she enjoyed this camaraderie she and Raven had somehow managed to create after the turmoil of their first weeks on the ground.

“So,” Raven said after a couple of minutes of shared, comfortable silence. “How is it that you were able to get past what happened with Lexa at the mountain the first time?”

Clarke took another drink before she answered, sensing that this was much deeper than Raven’s usual teasing. “It took a while.”

“Was that part of why you left?” There was no judgment in her tone. Just curiosity.

“I think so. But after what happened there after Lexa left…that was enough to mess me up.” She looked at her. “But I think the mountain was a cumulative effect, too. All the shit we’d already been through—”

“You, Clarke,” Raven gently corrected. “ _You_. All the shit that _you_ had been through up to that point. Don’t discount that.”

She stared into her cup.

“It’s okay to be fucked up. Not like you didn’t have a reason. I will say that I was pissed when you left, but I think I got it on some levels, too. And there were days after you did that I wished I had done the same thing. Messed-up leg and all.”

She nodded. “It’s okay that you’re pissed. And hurt.” She was referring to more than the mountain and Raven seemed to get that, because she shook her head.

“Stop it.”

She held Raven’s gaze and it occurred to her that Raven said so much more with her eyes than with words.

“Yeah, I miss him, because he was my anchor on the Ark. When my mom used up all our ration cards on shit other than food, Finn shared his with me. And he took the fall for me in another circumstance. He loved me in his own way and he cared about me, but looking back on it, we probably should never have hooked up. Or at least read more into it than that. Half the time we were lonely and scared, and physical closeness cut the pain for a while.” She stopped to take a drink. “I didn’t see his dark side. I didn’t want to.”

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Clarke said, voice barely above a whisper.

“You didn’t know about us. Because he didn’t tell you. Not really. And then he pulled that shit at the village—as fucked up as I was, I knew the Grounders couldn’t let him off easy.” She sighed. “There were a lot of things he didn’t tell you. Or me, for that matter. So the reality is, you and I—” she pointed first at Clarke and then at herself, “we will always have that between us, but it doesn’t have to be a wedge, because I know why you did it, and I get it.”

Clarke’s throat tightened and she forced herself to swallow a gulp of alcohol. It burned a little this time, and she thought that maybe she had inherited a little more from Abby than she wanted to admit, because Abby was able to perform triage like that, and assess life and death in an instant. She had made decisions about extending care or not, based on all kinds of factors, and the situation with Finn wasn’t much different. He was going to die. It was going to be long, hard, and brutal, so Clarke granted him mercy. Like turning off life support, perhaps. She took another drink.

“Easy, there,” Raven said, her hand on Clarke’s. “This stuff is strong and you’re not much of a drinker.”

She sighed and set the cup down.

“It’s done, Clarke. We can either stay stuck in the past or move on.”

She didn’t respond, but the heaviness that had gathered in her chest dissipated.

“What happened to you after you left?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. The days are kind of a blur.”

“How did you survive?”

“I figured it out. And I had some help from Niylah at the trading post.” Clarke smiled, remembering all the things she had done for her. She needed to go see her. “She knew who I was the whole time, but I didn’t find that out until later.”

“And meanwhile, the legend of _Wanheda_ was spreading,” Raven teased.

“I didn’t have anything to do with that,” she said, defensive.

“Not saying you did. It’s a fact, though. And don’t think Lincoln didn’t let us know that Lexa made sure you and Sky Crew got credit for the mountain.” Raven adjusted her position on the stool. “I couldn’t figure Lexa out.”

“She took the deal from Emerson because she figured she had the best chance of getting her people out of there alive with the fewest number of casualties.” There was still a residual bitter twinge thinking about it, but the memory was overwhelmed by the Lexa she had come to know since then. “It wasn’t personal. She made the decision with her head and not her heart.”

Raven’s eyes narrowed and she picked up her cup. “Her heart, huh? What exactly are you not telling me?”

Clarke sighed again and picked at the battered surface of the table. “It hurt, that betrayal. But it hurt her, too.” She lifted her gaze. “She made sure I was safe in the forest. The whole time she’s got Nia doing her crazy shit, dealing with _kongeda_ members who were not on board with working with _Skaikru_ , dealing with _Skaikru_ , period—Lexa had scouts in the forest making sure I was all right and she was prepared to bring me to Polis if Nia found me. Because Nia had people looking for me. She wanted to use me to get to Lexa.”

“She was willing to protect you?”

“Yes. Even if I hated her, she would have brought me in to protect me.”

“So she felt bad about the mountain.” Raven shrugged. “Glad to know she has a conscience wrapped up in all that cold, hard Commander hotness.”

“She does.” And so much more.

“Or maybe she just wanted to protect the legend of _Wanheda_ and use it to her advantage.”

“I suspected that for a while.” She picked up her cup.

“What changed your mind?”

“She did. Watching her with others. Seeing her in Polis. Spending time with her and talking about it.”

“Hold up. She actually talked to you about the shit she pulled at the mountain?”

“Yes. She’s not what a lot of people think.”

“You mean a hard-ass, scary, brutal warlord?”

Clarke sipped. “She is that. But there’s so much more behind it. She doesn’t make decisions that hurt people because she’s brutal. She makes them because she understands the way things work and how they’ll be perceived, and she knows that sometimes brutality is necessary. She never takes that lightly. Ever.”

Raven didn’t respond right away and instead took a drink. “So you’re saying she has a softer side?”

Clarke smiled. “If I told you that, it would ruin the illusion.”

“And her rep, I’m guessing,” Raven said with an answering smile.

“I’ll just say that her people love her. And kids. Kids love her.”

Raven’s eyes widened.

“Really. You should see her with kids. Ask Monty about it.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

Raven shrugged and finished her drink, but she was clearly smirking again.

“Go ahead, Reyes,” she challenged. “Say what’s on your mind.”

She put her cup down. “Does she know how you feel about her?”

Clarke started, then frowned.

“C’mon, Griff. If you’re not in love with her now, you’re totally on your way.”

The flush hit before she could fight it and Raven grinned.

“Uh-huh,” Raven said. “Does she know?”

Clarke stared into her cup, chewing her lip, debating what to say.

“Whoa. This is more than a crush.” She slipped off the stool so she could stand. “Dropping it. You done?” She pointed at Clarke’s cup and Clarke finished the last bit and handed it to her then watched as Raven went back into the other room.

“Okay,” she said when she reappeared, “back to the other thing. It’ll be fine with the council. Kane’s got your back and so does Sinclair. I doubt Terra will need any convincing about Jax—Gina said he wasn’t Mr. Popularity on Farm Station, and Miller’s dad will probably just ask you some questions about shitty things that Jax did.”

“Things are never as easy as we think they’ll be,” she said after a few moments, relieved that Raven had changed the subject. “Not even when we were on the Ark.”

“Yeah, but in this case, you’re in a great position. The mountain’s gone for good and Nia’s done. Plus, Lexa is a solid ally now, and we can take a break from freaking out about outside threats. The council isn’t going to want to blow that out the airlock, not with its current makeup.” She was back at her shelves, puttering.

“Shit, Reyes. You should run for council some time.”

“Too bitchy.”

“I’d make a comment about my mom, but…”

“But she at least can draw on her medical bedside manner, which is pretty caring over all.” She turned and grinned, gesturing with a wrench. “I’m just a bitch.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Oh, I see how it is. You get one pass from my deep, probing questions and this is how you repay me.”

“Just one pass?” Clarke asked with an exaggerated eyeroll.

Raven started to retort when a knock at the door interrupted them both and Sinclair stuck his head in.

“Hey,” he said with a smile. “Kane said you might be here, Clarke. The rest of the group just got here from Polis.”

She stood. “Thanks.” To Raven, she said, “See you later.”

“Do I get to ask deep, probing questions?”

“Sure. No guarantee I’ll answer.”

“Damn, Griff,” she grumbled, but she was laughing and Clarke made a kissing noise at her and joined Sinclair in the hallway, where he gave her a hug.

“It’s really good to see you,” he said. “Things here were a bit tense when we found out what happened, but Lexa made sure we were informed throughout.”

She walked with him outside, and already a crowd had gathered near the gates. “I’ll meet you over there,” she said. “Speaking of Lexa, I want to let her scouts know that the others are here.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.”

She nodded and started toward the main structure. Halfway there, she saw Mora and Tam already on their way to the gates and she joined them and as they walked and she heard the shouts of greeting and the laughter and excitement from the crowd at the gates, she let herself relax a little more because like Raven said, for once they had a respite—the time and space to enjoy themselves for a bit, and take a break, however brief it might be.

She spotted Harper and Gina in the crowd, then Bellamy and Lincoln, Octavia nearby. Lexa had sent two other warriors, and they were talking with Tam and Mora and Clarke stood on the edge of the crowd, watching and reveling a little, maybe, in the celebratory atmosphere.

Raven joined her and they stood together, observing.

“I have a radio ready for you,” Raven said. “Come by and pick it up.”

Clarke nodded. “Thanks.”

“No strings, Griff. You need to keep talking to her.” She squeezed her shoulder and grinned. Before Clarke could respond, Gina detached herself from the crowd and for a few moments she and Raven stared at each other and then they moved forward on one accord and Gina hugged Raven like she hadn’t seen her in weeks and it put the biggest, goofiest grin on Raven’s face that Clarke smiled, too. In a couple of hours, it would be sundown and she’d be able to talk to Lexa and she knew, with complete certainty, that she’d have the same expression on her face that Raven did now.

Harper emerged from the crowd and pulled her into a hug. “Hang out with us tonight,” she said.

“Where?”

“Come by Monty’s after dark.”

“Okay.”

“Awesome.” She stayed close and as the crowd started to disperse and others came by and hugged her or greeted her with smiles, she sank into the current of relief and jubilation. This was more than just surviving, this moment right here, and when she got back to Polis, she would make sure that Lexa understood what it meant, too.

She let Harper throw an arm over her shoulder and walk her toward the mess hall, Gina on the other side, holding hands with Raven.

Yep. This was more than just surviving. And it felt good.

 

1 _Nou get yu daun_ … _Heda don tel osir op gon lufa au_ : Don’t worry [you’ve see this one]… _Heda_ told us [“osir” excludes the listener] to look out [for that].  
2 _En osir na hez yu op seintaim_ : And we [excludes listener] will watch your back, too.”

 

###

Lexa stopped, panting. She had driven herself hard through the forest, running as fast as she could along game trails and hunting paths, testing how much her nearly-healed leg could take. Polis was visible from her position on this hill, and she watched people enter and leave, most clearly merchants or traders. Sound carried, and she heard shouts and laughter and the pounding of tools on wood.

Beyond the city traces of afternoon  mist clung to the tops of trees. A few leaves already bore the red and gold of the season’s change, and the tang in the air carried a warning of colder weather coming.

Three of her guards were leaning against trees catching their breaths while three others were talking and laughing. Indra stopped pacing and came to join her at her vantage point.

“What do you see?” Lexa asked, hands on her hips. She wore her knives and carried her swords across her back, as a test of how well she could still maneuver with them at speed in the woods.

“A quiet night coming.” She was still breathing heavily.

Lexa smiled. “Exactly.”

“I confess, the quiet sometimes sits uneasily within me.”

“There are many kinds of quiet.”

“I don’t have much experience with this kind.” Indra fiddled with the hilt of her short sword.

Lexa waited.

“This kind carries no threat, and instead is filled with relief. I worry that it won’t last.”

“It may not. And that is why we encourage necessary things to do. Food to hunt. Crops to grow. Structures to fix. Things to make our situations better. If we are not constantly focused on battle, we have time to expand our knowledge in other ways.”

“I do not think it is a good idea to neglect preparation for battle.”

“Nor do I. But I do think it’s a good idea to prepare for other things, too. And we have some time to spend on how we might do that.” The thought excited her though she understood the effort changing the trajectory of her people’s focus could be. She had no illusions about that, but if she started now, and if she had enough people invested in it with her, she could lay the foundation, and she could ensure its strength so that it would remain in place long after she was gone.

Indra studied her for a few moments. “I am proud to serve you, _Heda_.”

“And I am proud that you do.”

“I am also extremely glad that Clarke will be back in two days,” she said as she stretched her arms over her head. “Because I find I am not fond of these jaunts you insist on taking in the forest.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “What exactly are you saying, _plangona_?” 3

“That you may have some…frustrations Clarke is best at helping you work out, and it doesn’t require sprinting through the trees.”

Lexa flushed and she was glad that she was already overheated from exertion because it might go unnoticed. Nevertheless, Indra grinned wolfishly.

“Clarke is not only _Wanheda_ , but _heda_ of a few other things, I suspect,” she said, tone innocent as she threw a sideways glance at her.

The blush spread to her cheeks, a warmth that was far more than simply being overheated from a run.

“I have noticed that these expeditions into the forests last longer and are much harder the longer Clarke is away,” Indra said, affecting a thoughtful air. “Perhaps you might just run to Arkadia.”

At one point during the past five days, she had actually considered that. She jerked her gaze back to Polis. “Your point?”

“Just an observation.

Lexa pursed her lips to fight the smile she felt tugging at them.

“Perhaps _Heda_ agrees?”

“I choose not to comment.”

“Which may as well be a comment.” Indra stared at the city, as well, and Lexa could tell she was fighting another smile. “Presumably you will speak with her tonight.” It was not a question.

“ _Sha_.” The past two days she had not talked to Clarke via radio, and she had missed her more than she thought possible or even proper for a Commander of the clans, and that thought had lodged in the back of her mind, like a pebble in a boot. She hadn’t wanted to examine it until Indra’s comment. Now that it came up, it dug harder at her, and not in pleasant ways.

“How long does Clarke intend to stay in Polis this time?” Indra asked and it was an innocent enough question, but it slithered between her ribs like a poisonous serpent.

“I do not know,” she admitted, and another thought that had been bothering her for the past few days came up again, that Clarke may not want to remain in Polis very long, that instead she may wish to be among her own people now that there were no crises to deal with that required her to be here. What could Lexa offer her, besides a life as a shadow lover with the constant possibility of threat? Why would she ultimately agree to that, if they could not be public for some time? Perhaps her time at Polis had made her re-evaluate things.

She started jogging down the path toward the city, as if she could get away from these thoughts, and two guards hurried to get in front of her while the other guards brought up the rear, Indra still at her side.

They reached the gates of the city, where she finally slowed and greeted well-wishers who seemed to accumulate through the city all the way to the tower.

“I would see you and Titus before sundown,” Lexa said, her mood not as light as earlier as she pondered the hold Clarke had on her. “We must discuss Roan’s entry into the _kongeda_ and the festival.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Indra said.

“In the meeting room,” she added.

Indra nodded again and went to the stairwell while Lexa boarded the lift, three guards with her. “Fetch Balta,” she told one when she stepped off at her floor and went to her quarters. Once inside, she drank from a water skin then removed her swords and placed them on their pegs, still thinking about Clarke.

Part of her worried that she was investing too much, that she should try to protect herself, though it might already be too late and she wasn’t sure what that might mean. She removed her belt and hung it on another peg, knives still sheathed on it.

Perhaps she hadn’t run hard enough today, that these thoughts still hung in her mind. And perhaps it was a function of Clarke being at Arkadia, among her people, that had been worrying her. Would that affect how she felt? Would being among more _Skaikru_ cause her to wish to remain there and pull away from her and Polis?

She sat on the couch and started to remove her boots, irritation now lacing her motions, both with herself for thinking such but also with the fact that she wasn’t sure what to do about it. She was _Heda_ , Commander of the thirteen clans. And she had willingly allowed Clarke to see her in ways no one else had. Was that really a good idea, given Clarke’s responsibilities toward _Skaikru_?

A sharp rap on the door interrupted her. “ _Heda_ ,” Balta said.

“ _Min yu op_.”

Balta came in as Lexa finished with her boots.

“I will prepare a bath,” Balta said as she moved past her into the bathroom and Lexa heard the sound of water splashing into the tub. She had no doubt already warmed the water earlier.

Lexa leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, still restless, still thinking about Clarke.

“ _Ogud_ , _Heda_.”

She got up and went into the bathroom where she stripped, noting the stiffness in her wounded thigh, which she clearly had been favoring the past few days.

She stood next to the tub as Balta removed the bandage on her thigh. “It has not bled today,” she said. She inspected Lexa’s biceps, which had not been bandaged and another new scar was already forming on the wound. She stepped back so Lexa could get into the tub and she did, sinking into the warmth of the water with relief.

“The Chancellor has requested a meeting with you,” Balta said when Lexa was settled.

“Is it urgent?”

“As soon as you are able. She would like to speak with you about the wounded.”

“Has something happened?” Lexa sat up straighter.

“Nothing has changed for the worst among them, if that is your concern. I believe she wishes to discuss the possibility of creating a place in Polis to facilitate training in our ways and _Skaikru_ ways, as well.”

Lexa leaned back again, battling a sigh of impatience. She had thus far been able to minimize contact with Abby, leaving Balta and Jef to primarily work with her, but she had spoken with her a few times since Clarke had left, mostly to check in with her and ensure she had any materials she needed.

“You have not spent much time with the Chancellor since Clarke left,” Balta said, and Lexa tensed.

“The Chancellor and I are at odds more often than not. It seemed a better approach to ensure there was not enough time to engage too deeply. Don’t worry. I have been more than polite.”

Balta made a noncommittal noise. “Given certain circumstances in your life, the Chancellor is more than a political leader.”

“And that is exactly why I have ensured minimal interaction. I don’t want personal feelings to create difficulties in the political realm. Especially where Clarke is concerned.” She leaned back again, the side of the tub cool on her back.

“The personal is not always separate from the political.”

Lexa sighed in frustration. “I do not wish to be lectured about my approach.”

Balta didn’t respond for a few moments and instead arranged a few things on Lexa’s shelves and Lexa closed her eyes, trying to relax.

“The Chancellor works well as a healer.”

Lexa opened her eyes and regarded her.

“Even though she does not speak much of our language yet, she has managed to instill trust in those she tends.”

“Is that because this is who the Chancellor is or is it the fact that Clarke is her daughter?”

“Perhaps a bit of both. It certainly doesn’t hurt that she is Clarke’s mother. And it may also make her more aware of what she does as a healer.”

Lexa sat up again and took the cloth and soap Balta handed her. Abby was difficult, but she wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t jeopardize Clarke’s reputation, though at this point, Lexa wondered if anything could damage it, given Clarke’s willingness to go to the mountain twice and finally end it, something the clans had not been able to do without her.

“I think the Chancellor truly means well, and that she wishes to learn from us and teach, as well.”

Lexa finished lathering then rinsed. “I tend to agree.” She stood and Balta handed her a larger cloth that she used to start drying off. “And?” Because Balta often had other points when she spoke.

“And it is important that she support your relationship with Clarke.”

“So it behooves the Commander of the clans to make those overtures? I have been more than patient with the Chancellor because she is current leader of her people and a gifted healer and also because she is Clarke’s mother. Perhaps it is time for her to show me similar courtesy,” Lexa snapped.

“She has not asked you about your relationship with Clarke?”

“Not directly.” She stepped out of the tub and finished drying. Balta took the towel from her and picked up one of the jars of oil from the shelves and held it open for her. She dipped her fingers into it and started to rub it on her arms, thinking about Clarke’s hands on her days ago, kneading the same oil into the skin of her back, but wondering if it was truly possible for the two of them to have the kind of relationship she desired.

“What troubles you?”

Lexa looked up at Balta’s face.

“It isn’t the Chancellor.”

“Not directly,” she said again.

Balta said nothing further, allowing her room to discuss it further or not. Lexa decided not to because she wasn’t entirely sure what exactly it was, or why she worried that Clarke would want to remain with her own people. If she did, and if it meant that Clarke would choose not to continue their relationship, she would have to learn to accept that, but she dreaded the pain inherent in that possibility, and felt it slowly gathering behind her ribs like an infection.

“Clarke is not Costia.”

She rubbed oil into her legs. “I am aware of that,” she said, sounding testy.

Balta didn’t respond as she put the lid back on the jar.

“She is a leader,” Lexa said, rubbing the vestiges of the oil into her legs. “And has many things she needs to attend to.”

Balta put the oil back on a shelf. “One of those is you,” she said quietly.

“Perhaps. Perhaps not.” Lexa brushed past her and went to her shelves where she selected a pair of dark trousers and light-colored shirt and placed them on the sofa while she put underwear on and wrapped fresh bindings around her chest.

Balta handed her the shirt. “Has Clarke indicated something to you that has caused your mood?”

“No.” She pulled the shirt over her head and pulled her damp hair out of the collar to let it hang down her back.

Balta gave her the trousers and Lexa slid them on then sat and put her boots back on then started on her thigh guards. When she finished, she put her belt back on and adjusted her knives then went back into the bathroom to work on her hair. Balta silently assisted.

“Where is the Chancellor?” Lexa asked.

“With the wounded here in the tower.”

“I would meet with Titus and Indra after that. Please attend, as well.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She finished with her hair and stepped away.

Lexa turned and regarded her, irritated that her mood had darkened like this. “Clarke is a leader among her people,” she said carefully, considering her words. “She understands what that means and the time that is involved.” She smoothed the front of her shirt. “Some of that time includes the _kongeda_ and council duties. But it doesn’t necessarily include me, now that she is back among her people and seeing what needs to be done without the immediacy of a threat like Nia or _Maun-de_.”

Balta regarded her, expression blank. “Has she said as much?”

She sighed. “No.”

“Then you are assuming.”

She shrugged. “I understand her.”

“In some ways, yes. In others, clearly not.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes.

“You attribute decisions to her that she has not made and actions she has not taken.”

“I am predicting.”

“You are manufacturing.”

Lexa clenched then unclenched her teeth. “I don’t wish to discuss this further.”

“Indeed. Shall I escort you to the Chancellor?”

She shook her head.

“Very well.” She inclined her head and left and Lexa grimaced, frustration warring with confusion. There was no point to asking Clarke that evening whether she intended to return to Polis or remain at Arkadia and focus more on her people and remove herself from their connection for the simple reason that she didn’t want to know, if the answer was yes. And even if Clarke did return to Polis in two days, she might only be doing so because of her duties here.

Lexa folded the piece of cloth that held the painting Clarke had done of them and raised her shirt to tuck it into her bindings near her heart. She carried it in her belt pouch when she was training or running, to protect it from sweat, but right now, she needed it even closer. She lowered her shirt then and rubbed her temples for a few moments then stepped into the corridor, forcing herself to lock insecure thoughts away while she had to deal with Abby.

Three guards accompanied her to the lift and descended with her to the floor on which a few wounded remained. At least many were well on their way to being fully healed, she thought as she walked down the hallway toward the sound of voices.

Lexa steeled herself as she neared the entrance into the area that had been made into a ward for the wounded. Any conversation with Abby seemed to require this preparation, but she suspected few others had to make it. She stepped into the room, where Abby was talking to Jef and wiping her hands on a cloth.

“ _Heda_ ,” Jef said with a nod. Abby turned.

“Commander,” she said, instantly formal and Lexa forced herself to relax a little, trying not to create a problem where one might not actually be. Given her mood, however, she might not be successful.

“Healer,” she acknowledged Jef. “Chancellor. Balta informed me you wished to see me.”

“I do. I would like to show you something,” Abby said, and she was smiling. She went out into the corridor and Lexa followed, puzzled, Jef behind her.

Abby stopped at the door to Rex’s room. She smiled again and opened the door and gestured for Lexa to go inside.

“ _Heda_ ,” Rex said when he saw her. He smiled, too, a reflection of Abby’s and Jef’s. He was standing near the one bed in the room, bare-chested and barefoot, but wearing loose, light pants. And though he was pale and bandages still covered his chest and abdomen, he appeared in good spirits.

Lexa stared at him for a moment. She hadn’t seen him in a few days, and the last time she had, he was still in bed, speaking rarely.

“Go ahead,” Abby said, encouraging, and Lexa moved toward him.

“ _Rex kom Trikru_ , _ai ste shanen bilaik yu ste fis op_ ,”4 she said, and she extended her hand.

“ _Heda_ ,” he said again as he clasped her forearm. “ _Wanheda don tel ai op hashta yu gonplai kom Nia_. _Ai ste shanen seintaim_.” 5

She released his arm. “Are you in much pain?”

“No longer.” He motioned with his chin at Abby. “The Chancellor has greatly helped me.”

Lexa turned toward her. “Thank you,” she said, and she meant it.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Abby said and Lexa allowed the ghost of a smile to grace her lips before she turned her attention back to Rex.

“Have you seen your family?”

“No, but the Chancellor tells me they have seen _me_ ,” he said, tone wry. I don’t remember much of the past few days. I am expecting them to come before sundown.”

“I’m sure the Chancellor will ensure that your children are careful with you.”

He grinned and it lit up his eyes. “I expect so. How is _Wanheda_?”

“She is well. And I’m sure that once she returns from Arkadia she will want to see you, too.”

“ _Os_. The Chancellor tells me that Ayda has looked in on me, as well.”

“She has looked in on me, too,” Lexa said with a half-smile and he chuckled then winced and placed his hand over his stomach.

“Unfortunately, I cannot laugh so much yet. How is Ayda?” he asked.

“Healing. As are you.”

He nodded and his expression became serious. “ _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Ai don slip yu thru_ , _kos ai nou don shil Wanheda op_.” 6

She shook her head. “ _Ai nou teik yu moba op_. _Yu don gon koma raun_ , _en yu don blid au kom ai_. _Sted, ai biyo mochof gon yu, gona_.” 7

He nodded once, an acceptance of her statement.

“ _Nou get yu daun_ ,” she said. “Once you are healed, I expect you to return to your duties."

He smiled again, a look of relief and awe on his face. “I look forward to it.”

“ _Os_. I will leave you now, since I am certain the Chancellor would prefer that you continue to rest.”

“ _Heda_ speaks true,” Abby said. “I do prefer that you rest, because it helps your body heal itself.”

He nodded and sat gingerly on the bed. Jef helped him lie down before he retreated to the corridor, leaving Lexa and Abby alone.

“I know we do not have the tech to do for him what you did,” Lexa said. “And I thank you.”

“That’s the other thing I wanted to see you about today. Do you have time to talk for a bit?”

“Yes.”

“In private?” She motioned toward one of the empty rooms. “I’ll leave the door open.”

“Very well.” Lexa nodded at her guards, who positioned themselves nearby, one in such a way that he could see into the room but wouldn’t hear much.

Abby went near the window, which was open. The breeze felt good on Lexa’s face and she waited for her to speak, still prepared to deal with the Abby she was most used to.

“I was able to help Rex because I gave him medicine that killed infection in his body. Open wounds, if not kept clean, can attract bacteria—do you understand what that means?”

“Living things we cannot see with our eyes that cause sickness.”

Abby nodded, pleased. “Exactly. Some of these bacteria are good, and help us digest food or battle infections. But if we’re weak, sometimes those bacteria become enemies to our bodies or other kinds of bacteria invade. Sometimes both of that can happen.”

“I have read of this,” Lexa said. “It is as a war within our bodies.”

Abby’s eyebrows lifted. “Read of it?”

At that, Lexa smiled. “Yes, Chancellor. I read your language.”

“That’s—how many more of you—your people—can read?”

“That I do not know, exactly, but there are a few in each village, usually warriors and healers, though no one is adverse to teaching it to anyone should they have time. My mother taught me to speak and read on a rudimentary level. When I was a Novitiate, Titus and the teachers ensured that I and the others could speak and read, as well. It is part of the duties of a Commander, to understand the language of those who came before.” She cocked her head. “Lincoln reads English.”

A flicker of surprise flashed in her eyes. “Is there a written version of Trigedasleng?”

“Yes, but it’s not used as you might use yours. We tend to rely more on oral and musical traditions, though Titus does work with some in other villages to teach it to more people. Balta is also involved with that.”

“Would you be willing to show me your written language? We might be able to help create more ways to teach people how to read it.”

Lexa considered the offer. “Would you be willing to work with some of us to do that, to ensure accuracy?”

“Absolutely. That was my next question. Also, where are these books in English that you mentioned?”

“I keep some in my quarters. Others are in rooms on the lower levels. And there are others, too, scattered around the city and villages. I have heard that before _Praimfiya_ , there were whole structures devoted to books. Is that true?”

“Yes. They were called libraries, and they held many thousands of books and the public could access them and borrow them. When they were done reading them, they would bring them back and borrow others. Any kind of book. History, science, tech, literature—stories that people made up for entertainment.”

“Ah. I have read some of these literatures, as you call them.”

“Where did you find them?”

“They are part of the collection here in the tower. And sometimes people bring books to us that they find.”

“What kinds of books are they?”

“Many different kinds. Some deal with tech and medicine.” She nailed Abby with a gaze. “We have not lost _all_ of the old ways, though we have lost many of them as well as the means to duplicate them.”

Abby pursed her lips, hands on her hips. “Might I see your collections?”

“Certainly.” Perhaps this was a way to create a relationship with Abby, through the sharing of knowledge.

“Not today. Another time.”

Lexa nodded her agreement.

“So, along those lines, how do your people feel about tech?”

“That is a difficult question. Many associate it with the mountain and, more recently, _Skaikru_ , often with the same feelings toward yours as toward the mountain.”

“Clarke said the same thing,” Abby said with a sigh. “She wasn’t sure how accepting the clans would be of tech designed to help with medicine, especially if it came from the mountain.”

“She is right. I am of the opinion that there is tech that can be used to help, as you have demonstrated since you came to Polis. But my people suffered terribly at the hands of the Mountain Men in the service of medical procedures, and we have very long memories. I know you are aware of some of those procedures.”

Abby frowned, but it was the type of frown that came when she was thinking about something. Funny, how Lexa had come to learn some of her mannerisms.

“How about this—would you and the clans be open to a medical clinic in Polis? The kind of place where healers could learn from each other?”

“And learn tech?”

Abby hesitated. “Not at first. And nothing from the mountain, though there is valuable tech there that we might be able to salvage from the upper levels to use to help people with bad injuries or illnesses. But Clarke said tech from the mountain would not be welcome in Polis or in the villages.”

“I am in agreement with her, Chancellor. I do understand that the tech itself is not what harmed us, but rather the people who wielded it. But as I said, there are many among the villages and here in the city who lost loved ones to the mountain, whose loved ones suffered horribly before they died, and I will not ask them to accept such tech until they are ready, until they have managed not to associate tech with those who used it against them. For some, that may never happen and we will all have to accept that.”

“Would they accept a place where healers are able to learn from each other, that may involve some tech from Arkadia?”

“Would you and a future Chancellor be open to healers from Polis and clan villages journeying to Arkadia to see the tech there, first?” Lexa asked, a mild counterpoint.

“Yes,” Abby said without hesitation.

“Good. I think perhaps it would be best to start there, so that they can see how you and _Skaikru_ use it and the benefits it brings before introducing it to Polis and then possibly other villages. We can begin this process soon after the festival. Perhaps Rex and Ayda will be willing to speak on your behalf, as well.”

Abby nodded and chewed her lip in a way that reminded Lexa of Clarke.

“I’ll talk to Kane as soon as possible about your suggestion, though I know Clarke is already talking to him and the council about it. She’s no doubt told you that.” She raised her eyebrows in a question.

“She has. And she has also voiced her concerns to me about tech and passed those along to Kane. Which is something I suspect that you know, too.”

Abby smiled, sheepish. “Maybe we could make some of these conversations work better if you and I just talked directly more.”

In spite of herself, Lexa smiled, too. “I’m sure Clarke would agree.”

“But would you?”

She recognized the question as a truce of sorts. “Yes. I think it would be better.”

“How can I do that?”

“What do you mean?”

“What’s the best way to start conversations like that with you?”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Ask,” she said, as if it was obvious.

“Do I need to make some kind of appointment?”

“Ah. Is that how things work in _Skaikru_? One must set a specific time and place?”

“Yes. But it seems similar here, too.”

There was some truth to that, but Lexa suspected it was more formal at Arkadia. “To get a message to me while you are in Polis—and provided I’m here, as well—ask another healer or a servant or warrior. And you may approach me directly if you see me between engagements.”

“I hope you know you can do the same. Approach me directly, that is.”

Lexa fought a smile. She was _Heda_. Of course she would approach whomever she wished directly. “I know, Chancellor.”

“I mean, after I’m no longer in that position, too.”

“Yes. Presumably, you will continue working on this project to train your people and mine after you no longer hold that role.”

“Yes. I was planning to. But I think maybe you and I should establish regular contact, as difficult as it might be.”

Was this what she had been trying to say? “Very well. And I suspect you would need to speak with Balta and Jef and other healers, as well. All of this we can arrange once the festival has ended.”

Abby nodded and an awkward silence fell over them.

Lexa waited a few beats before speaking, and she knew she was taking a risk with the question but she asked it anyway. “Is that all you wished to discuss?”

Abby glanced at the door then lowered her voice. “I know we haven’t been on the best terms, you and I,” she said in a rush, as if she wouldn’t have another chance.

Lexa waited, preparing herself for whatever else this revelation would bring, both dreading it but also interested in it.

“I haven’t trusted you or your motivations for some of the decisions you’ve made.”

And there it was. It was almost a relief having it out in the open. “I know.”

“But I appreciate that you’re willing to work with me and _Skaikru_ on projects like this, that I hope will be beneficial to all in the _kongeda_ over time.”

“If I didn’t think that was a possibility, I would not agree to do so.”

Another silence filled the space, and Lexa sensed Abby’s discomfort. _Skaikru_ often were, with silence.

Abby cleared her throat. “I’ve realized that Clarke has been a buffer for me when it comes to dealing with you, and it occurred to me that I actually haven’t really interacted with you much without her as either a reason to talk to you or a catalyst for a conversation between all of us.”

“In the future, know that I expect others to address me directly if there is something they wish to discuss.”

“And I’ve seen that you're open to that. I’m saying I haven’t necessarily done it where you’re concerned.”

“True. But trust isn’t always necessary for conversations.”

“No, but it helps.”

“Only if you allow your mistrust to dictate your emotions.” She was pushing, she knew, but she wanted to see what the boundaries might be with her.

She nodded. “Fair enough. I would like to be able to work directly with you, though, and not have to bother Clarke to be a messenger between us. It seems it would be easier for all concerned.”

“Are you suggesting, Chancellor, that it might be easier to work with me if you actually work _with_ me?” She flashed a quick smile and it seemed to disarm Abby.

“Yes, I am.”

“Then we will, though it will require at least a small amount of trust, if only for logistics.”

“That’s fair, too. Do _you_ trust _me_?”

“I trust that you have the best interests of _Skaikru_ and Clarke in your heart, and that your work as a healer allows you to see those outside of _Skaikru_ as people, too. Not so different from you, ultimately, and I trust that you believe on some level that there is room for us all to learn from each other and prove effective allies.”

“But you don’t trust _me_.”

“I don’t know you, _Abi kom Skaikru_. I suspect that will change the more our people work together.”

She cocked her head, gaze piercing. “Clarke said that about you.”

Lexa didn’t respond. This was definitely not what she wanted to talk about, but so far, Abby had been cautious with the discussion, and she had a feeling this was really where she had been trying to take it for the past few minutes. Lexa wished for her swords across her back, if only for the false sense of security they might offer, but the damage words could inflict was often as bad if not worse than the clean slice of a blade.

“She said that she trusted you, and that you don’t let personal judgment affect larger issues. After all, you were on your way to Arkadia to warn us about Nia after Clarke went to the forests, even though you knew we would probably still be angry about what happened at the mountain the first time.”

A growing tension seemed to hover between them like morning mist and Lexa wished she had taken her leave earlier. This was exactly why she had been avoiding contact with Abby since Clarke left for Arkadia. Abby was right that Clarke had been serving as a buffer with regard to their interactions, and without one, this conversation may not go well for either of them.

“Chancellor, think carefully about what you wish to talk about,” Lexa said, tone low.

“I have,” she shot back. “And I think you and I need to clear some things up.”

Lexa tensed, but there was an earnestness to Abby’s words. “You may not like some of the answers I provide.”

“And you might not like some of the questions. Isn’t that part of building trust? You don’t need to like me to trust me.”

There was truth to that. She nodded once, indicating that she continue.

Abby took a breath, as if preparing herself. Lexa tensed again. “Clarke also told me that you watched out for her after she left the mountain the first time.” She paused and met Lexa’s gaze. “I’m not sure I understand why you might have done that, but I know Clarke, and I know when she’s sure about something. She is sure it’s because you care. I, on the other hand, was sure it was because you wanted to use her as leverage against Nia. I thought maybe you were coming to Arkadia to convince Clarke to go to Polis with you as part of that leverage.” She paused, then, expression another question and Lexa knew she would have to engage this subject. Not doing so would be worse than any wounds Abby might be able to inflict, because if Lexa walked out now, it would create a wider rift between her and Abby and, ultimately, put Clarke in a more difficult position.

“I understand why you would think that,” she said, following the conversation’s trajectory. “But it’s not entirely true. There is no question that Nia wanted to use _Wanheda_ against me and the _kongeda_. There are many people in outlying villages who have heard of her and what she did, and Nia could easily have claimed that she was far greater than either me or Clarke because she held _Wanheda_ in her power. However, it’s only a small part of why I watched out for Clarke.” She dropped the statement between them, both a challenge and a truth.

“Clarke also told me that there was a personal issue between you and Nia,” Abby said, not taking the bait with the previous statement. “Did that play into your wanting to ensure Clarke’s safety?”

In other words, was she using Clarke as a means to put something in her past to rest or for revenge against Nia? Lexa studied her, mulling how to respond, and debating whether it was actually worth it.

“She didn’t tell me what it was,” Abby continued, “but I heard things from some of Clarke’s friends.”

“And what exactly did you hear?”

Abby cleared her throat, a nervous gesture similar to what Titus did when he wasn’t sure how to broach a topic. “That Nia took someone close to you and killed her.”

The words no longer made her flinch, though they brought sadness. “That’s true.” Her gaze bored into Abby’s. “Her name was Costia. She was a gifted archer and was working to become part of my personal guard. We had known each other since childhood,” she said, testing these strange new waters. As blunt as she knew Abby could be, this was a type of conversation that required a different approach.

Abby started to say something else but stopped. A few moments later, she asked, “Is Costia’s loss why you watch out for Clarke?”

The question was not unexpected, but she hesitated before responding because the answer would lead to the relationship she shared with Clarke and she wasn’t sure that was a path she should walk without Clarke’s input.

“I’m sorry, Commander,” Abby said in another rush, “but these are some things I’ve been thinking about and I really would like to discuss them with you. Knowing may help with how I see you and work with you going forward.”

That was something Lexa could understand and even appreciate. She brushed her fingers lightly on the hilt of her knife, drawing strength from it. “I will say to you what I told Clarke when she first came to Polis.” She remembered that night, after Octavia had left, and Clarke confronted her about her motivations on the balcony in a cold rain. Her admission had been painful for them both, but ultimately healing.

“It is true that as _Wanheda_ , she was important to the _kongeda_ while Nia was alive,” Lexa continued. “But as important as _Wanheda_ might have been, and as important as she may still be in that role, I brought her to Polis to protect her from Nia and to protect _Skaikru_ from Nia’s plots. I did this because Clarke—not _Wanheda_ —is important to _me_.” Her statement dropped like a stone between them and Abby went very still.

Another frown creased her brow, the one she used when she was trying to decide what to say. “Is she?”

“Yes.”

Abby’s eyes widened slightly, as if she hadn’t expected her to acknowledge it. “What exactly are you saying to me?”

Lexa frowned, now, because the question hit a little closer than she expected, but she understood, too, that Abby was saying these things not as Chancellor but as Clarke’s mother. “I always want to protect the people I care about. Clarke is one of those and my feelings for her have nothing to do with Costia, but they have everything to do with Clarke.” The admission took Abby by surprise, Lexa saw in her expression. It might have taken _her_ by surprise, as well and they stared at each other for a moment.

“You’re her mother, _Abi kom Skaikru_ ,” Lexa finally said, breaking the staredown. “You know her well. And though I may not wish to discuss it with you, I’m not going to pretend that you aren’t aware of some things Clarke may or may not be feeling toward me or about what I may or may not be feeling toward her.”

Abby flushed, but it seemed more out of embarrassment than anger and Lexa knew, then, that Abby had suspected their relationship for a while. Abby cleared her throat again and glanced at the ceiling then back at Lexa. “Well. _This_ is a bit awkward,” she muttered and in spite of the uncomfortable truth of the statement, Lexa wanted to smile.

“We agree on something else, then,” she said, tone dry.

Abby actually did smile. “I’m not quite sure how we got to this point in this conversation.”

“Because I have answered your questions. I could have chosen not to.”

“That’s true. Why did you?”

Lexa regarded her, and appreciated that Abby didn’t drop her gaze. “Because you’re already aware of things that Clarke has not discussed with you about us. I will not discuss Clarke’s side of this, but I can tell you a bit about mine. You need to understand that I care about Clarke because she is Clarke, not because I seek to correct something in the past. I cannot change the past, and those who are lost to me are gone. Nothing I do will ever change that, and there is no point to trying.”

“If you care about her, why did you leave her at the mountain the first time?” In her tone Lexa heard her antagonistic side. At least she was used to that.

“Because I had an opportunity to release my people with no further loss of life.”

“On _your_ side,” Abby said, her tone still accusatory.

Lexa didn’t react, though it was a struggle not to. “I am _Heda_ , sworn to protect my people with whatever means necessary.”

“Clarke trusted you. She believed you would be there for her.”

“Leadership does not always allow us to do what we wish, but rather what we must. Sometimes the choices I have to make cause damage I may not have intended or desired. Clarke understands that.”

“That’s easy to say on the surface, but it hurt her, what you did.”

“I know.” Oh, she knew.

Abby hadn’t expected the acknowledgement. “And you?”

She waited for clarification.

“Did it hurt you?” Abby’s gaze drilled into hers, searching. She could almost feel her trying to push past her defenses.

“Yes.” More than Abby would ever know.

Her eyes narrowed. “You cared about her then, too.” There might have been a bit of dread in her voice.

“Yes.” Since before that, but she had been too stubborn to admit it.

“And after?”

There was no point to lying. “Yes. I never stopped caring about her, Chancellor, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Abby’s jaw clenched and she looked away for a moment, then back. “If that’s true, why did you leave us at the mountain?”

“I do not expect you to fully understand the duties I have to fulfill or the responsibilities I have toward my people—that every Commander has toward her people. I have to weigh all outcomes as they apply to my people, and the decision I made at the mountain the first time was not one I made with my heart.”

“And what would _that_ have looked like?” she retorted, voice low, “if you had used your heart instead?”

“I think you know,” she snapped back. “But the outcome may have been very different for my people inside the mountain. And possibly yours, too.”

Abby glared at her. “You could have told Clarke that. The two of you could have come up with a better plan. Or a ruse. Something.”

“The past is past,” Lexa said, voice like steel. “I made the decision based on circumstances then. I cannot change what happened.”

The guard leaned in and looked at Lexa, a question in his eyes.

She nodded at him and he retreated back into the corridor.

Abby waited a few moments then spoke again. “Do you understand a bit why it might be difficult for me to trust you? If you’re capable of hurting my daughter so badly, what else might you do? To her? Or to Arkadia?”

Lexa had expected her to say something like that, but the words stung worse than she had anticipated. “Perhaps the Chancellor forgets the forces I sent to help protect Arkadia from _Azgeda_. And that I went into the mountain after Clarke. And perhaps she forgets that I contacted her when I learned that Nia had taken Clarke. And it seems she has completely forgotten that I and my warriors aided _Skaikru_ in ousting Nia from her hiding place and that I personally ensured that Nia would never threaten Clarke, _Skaikru_ , or any one of us again.”

Abby’s jaw muscles clenched.

“I don’t care whether you trust me or not. I care that Clarke does, and that she and _Skaikru_ will work with me as needed and develop relationships with others in the _kongeda_. Perhaps you should trust Clarke more, rather than wonder whether you can trust me. She has done more for _Skaikru_ since you came to the ground than any one of you, often at the expense of herself. She is a rare, strong spirit, and all of you should be honored that she is willing to accept leadership and to do what she must in that role.”

Abby took a step back as if Lexa had physically slapped her. For several moments, neither spoke.

“Is this conversation over?” Lexa asked. “If so, I will take my leave, Chancellor.”

“Wait. Please, Commander. I’m sorry for the tone of my questions. I’m speaking to you now as Clarke’s mother, not as Chancellor.”

Lexa regarded her and decided she meant it. “Very well.” She forced herself to relax a bit, but remained wary.

“When Clarke left Arkadia after she was in the mountain the first time, did she try to contact you?”

“No. I assumed she wanted nothing to do with me.”

“But you watched her.”

“In a way. I ensured I knew her general location, because I knew Nia was plotting and had offered a bounty for her. If I had felt she was under a direct threat from Nia—or any threat, for that matter—I would have brought her to Polis to protect her. And, by extension, _Skaikru_.”

“Even though she was angry with you?”

Lexa shrugged. “She may have hated me then, too. She said she tried to.”

“She told you that?”

“Yes.”

“And even though she felt that way about you, you still would have protected her?”

“If I felt it was necessary. Her feelings toward me did not and will not change mine toward her.”

At that, Abby’s eyes widened. “Clarke said that you didn’t force her or Kane to join the _kongeda_. I believe her. Does it put you in a better position to protect her?”

“If required. And _Skaikru_ as well, though Clarke is very much capable of protecting herself and her people in many ways. I know that if she feels she needs me or _kongeda_ forces, she will let me know.”

Abby ran a hand through her hair and gazed out the window for a moment while Lexa waited for a signal from her as to whether she should leave, though she sensed the conversation was still not over. She would almost rather ride into battle than continue dealing with Abby’s mercurial temper.

Abby turned back toward her. “It’s not my place—”

“You’re right. It’s not.”

Combativeness rose in her eyes and Lexa prepared for another round of thoroughly unpleasant verbal sparring. The guard in the corridor had again moved closer to the doorway but she gestured him away.

“As a mother, Commander,” she reiterated, and Lexa could tell it took an effort for her to keep her temper in check. “Can you as the leader of your people actually have a relationship? Because I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening here.”

“It isn’t common for a Commander, but it’s not unheard of,” Lexa said, and in not directly responding to her assumption, she answered Abby’s more personal thoughts about the situation between her and Clarke. Abby knew it, too, from her expression, a combination of resignation and more dread.

“I will not discuss our relationship without Clarke’s input,” she added. “It’s best that you speak with her first.”

She seemed to deflate. “If this…continues, will your people accept her?”

“Will _yours_ accept _me_?” she countered.

Abby grimaced. “Point taken. I can’t speak for all of us, but I’m sure you’re aware there are those at Arkadia who are suspicious of Grounders. And of you.”

“As there are people here who are suspicious of _Skaikru_. And Clarke.”

“Then you understand why I’m not entirely sure this—whatever it is between you—is a good idea.”

“Clarke and I have had this discussion. I’ll leave it to her to talk with you about it, if she wants to.”

Abby studied her for a few moments. “You tried to talk her out of it,” she said, comprehension dawning. “Because of your position and how that may have affected Costia.”

“Yes.”

“It didn’t work,” she said, tone wry.

“No.”

“Did you want it to work?”

“No. But if it’s what Clarke had wanted, I would have accepted her decision.”

Abby nodded. “I believe you.”

That surprised her. She was braced for the abrasive, prickly antagonist, and instead she was suddenly faced with a more introspective version of her, and she wasn’t entirely sure where her footing was with this one.

“Clarke and I don’t have the best relationship—as I’m sure you’re aware—but I want to do better at it and ultimately, I want her to be happy. Which might sound strange, in a world as uncertain as this one.”

Lexa said nothing, though her chest tightened as she waited for a challenge. One had to come, given the subject.

“And even though you betrayed her at the mountain, I’ll concede that you had your reasons. Both she and Kane have come to your defense in that regard. Though I’m still not sure how to feel about it.”

Kane? That was interesting. And gratifying.

“She won’t talk to me about the extent of her feelings for you, and I’m not going to pry into the extent of yours, but you’re right that I’ve suspected that she has some for you—has had them for a while.”

Hearing that from Abby actually ended up warming the places that had been made cold with her earlier thoughts about Clarke and what her intentions might be regarding Arkadia.

“I can’t say I’m completely supportive of a relationship, given the tenuous situation between all of us, but I also can’t deny that something is happening between you and I know Clarke well enough to know that she won't listen to me, especially in matters like this.”

“Perhaps you should trust that she knows her own mind.”

“That word again.”

“If you cannot trust me, trust Clarke,” she said again.

Abby’s expression was reflective now more than anything else. “I know I’m in no position to ask much of you, but I hope that if you have feelings for my daughter that you continue to care about her and protect her as you can, though I know she’s stubborn about that sort of thing.” It cost her to say that, and she crossed her arms tightly against her chest, as if trying to create a shield.

“About this, we also agree. I intend to do just that, and I know she’s stubborn. But so, too, am I.” Because for Clarke, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do.

“It might not be a good idea to announce your…relationship,” Abby said, voice even softer as she glanced at the doorway then back.

“No, it is not. Yet. But you are probably aware that there is speculation and perhaps some consider it an open secret. I have some measures in place should it become more open.”

Abby half-smiled. “Publicity campaigns, you mean.”

She raised a shoulder in a shrug. “Of a sort.”

“I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.”

“Thank you for yours,” she said, and she meant it. She relaxed a little more.

“Well. Now that we have _that_ out of the way…”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, but she half-smiled, too.

“If I haven’t completely alienated you, would you have time tomorrow for another conversation about logistics in terms of healer training?”

“Yes,” she said, not surprised that Abby had shifted the conversation again. “Would you consider joining me for midday meal?”

The look on her face might have been comical in other situations. “I’m…yes. I will.”

“I’ll have Balta fetch you. Do you mind if she joins us?”

“No. Not at all.”

“ _Os_. I will see you then.” She turned to go.

“ _Heda_ ,” Abby said.

She stopped, noting her use of the term.

“Though I may not be completely supportive of a relationship between you and my daughter, I will offer some advice.”

“Oh?”

“Please.”

She waited.

“Clarke is extremely loyal and when she makes up her mind about something, that’s generally how it is.”

She smiled. “I have learned that, yes.”

Abby nodded. “I think—I’m pretty sure that she’s made up her mind about you, and that means she’ll do whatever she can to pursue this—whatever it is—with you. And I know we can speculate about feelings and possibility all day, but the fact is, I know my daughter and it’s clear to me that she wants you in her life and she will make that happen.” Abby smiled in a way that made it seem she was commiserating. “I know you’re the Commander of the clans, but my daughter is a force of nature and it appears she’s set her mind on you. I hope you’re prepared for that.” It was a challenge and maybe a warning wrapped in a mantle of advice.

Lexa admired that even with the tension between Abby and Clarke, she would still try to keep her daughter from getting hurt, and she didn’t care if she had to face the Commander of the clans to do it. “Chancellor,” Lexa said, “I want nothing more.” She held her gaze for a beat then left before she revealed anything further, heart pounding and thoughts muddled, the desire to run all the way to Arkadia overtaking her yet again.

Her guards fell into step with her even as she took the stairs rather than the lift back up to the floor with her chamber and meeting room and went directly to the latter, needing to clear her head for a moment before dealing with Titus and Indra. She almost ran into Balta, who was exiting the room.

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_.”

“No. It’s my fault. Do you have a moment right now?”

She inclined her head and followed Lexa to the balcony, past the table on which Balta had already placed platters of food and a pitcher of tea. Once on the balcony, Balta waited in silence.

“I apologize for earlier,” Lexa said, wanting to clear the air between them.

“You are _Heda_.”

“That’s no excuse for inflicting a bad mood on you.” She paused. “There _was_ something troubling me.”

She waited, silent.

“I worry that this time away from Clarke—as short as it is—will change her mind about some things and I did not deal with such thoughts as well as I could have.”

Balta’s expression softened. “I know these thoughts have occurred to you. I understand. Love is strength, but it also requires vulnerability and that is something you have not allowed yourself to feel very often.”

“Mmm.” She leaned against the railing, her body feeling as if she had just run another few miles through the forest. “I spoke with the Chancellor.”

Balta didn’t respond.

“Rex is healing, thanks to her. Has she spoken to you about a training center for healers in Polis?”

“ _Sha_.”

“We will speak further about it tomorrow at midday meal. I would like you to attend, as well.”

She inclined her head. “In this meeting room?”

“ _Sha_.”

“I will ensure it is prepared.”

“ _Mochof_.”

Balta lingered, and Lexa knew it was because she understood her moods sometimes better than she herself did.

“The Chancellor knows.”

“I see. How did this come about?”

“She asked some leading questions and I decided to answer them. Those questions led to others. I answered those, as well, unless I felt it was something she should address with Clarke.”

Balta didn’t respond, but she waited, expectant.

“We have come to an understanding of sorts,” Lexa said.

“Ah. And I’m sure she wished to know your intentions.”

Lexa regarded her. “Ultimately, yes.”

“What did you tell her?”

She shrugged. “The truth. That I care about Clarke and I will do whatever I must to ensure her safety and well-being.”

Balta smiled. “And what was the Chancellor’s reaction?”

“She is not certain of me.”

“Did you expect that she would be?”

“No.” She loosened her grip on the railing. “I told her if she cannot trust me, to trust Clarke.”

“That was wise.”

Lexa sighed. “The Chancellor is…difficult. Clarke uses an expression…buttons. She says that Abby pushes her buttons, which means Abby knows her weak points and will push on them to get a certain reaction.”

“She may not do so intentionally. The Chancellor is formidable, but there is history with Clarke that we do not know. And we do tend to lash out at those we care about.”

Lexa nodded at the truth of the statement then looked at her. “I want you to enjoy yourself during the festival.”

“ _Heda_?” she said, confused.

“A rest, Balta. You need some time away from this—” she swept her hand back toward the meeting room, “and from me. Maybe more from Titus, since I am, of course, infinitely more pleasant than he is even at my worst.”

Balta laughed.

“I mean it. I want you to go and enjoy yourself. When was the last time you saw family?”

“A few weeks ago,” she said, vague.

She smiled, sly. “And the last time you enjoyed someone’s company?”

Balta actually blushed.

“I see,” Lexa said. “More recently than I thought. Well, please enjoy more of it. And perhaps you will share with me, at some point, the identity of the extremely fortunate recipient of your affections.”

She reddened even more.

Indra appeared in the entrance to the balcony, saving Balta from more teasing. “ _Heda_ , Titus is here. We are ready.”

“ _Os_.” She flashed another smile at Balta as she moved toward the door. Indra’s eyes narrowed when she saw Balta’s face, but she said nothing and followed Lexa back into the meeting room. Lexa sat down, feeling strangely lighter than she had since her run. Balta poured her a cup of tea as Indra and Titus settled into chairs and Lexa sat back. Soon, she would speak with Clarke. The thought settled her mind and warmed her heart and she relaxed, watching as Indra took the pitcher from Balta and insisted she sit down. She filled Balta’s cup, then Titus’s, then her own as Titus cut slices of bread from a loaf on one of the platters and handed them around and Lexa realized, again, the lighter mood in Polis these past few days.

She hoped it would continue because Clarke was right. Life should be about more than just surviving. She picked up a piece of bread and smiled. “Let us now discuss ceremonies and festivals."

 

3 _plangona_ : warrior woman [you’ve seen this one]  
4 _Rex kom Trikru_ , _ai ste shanen bilaik yu ste fis op_ : Rex of/from _Trikru_ , I’m happy to see you healing.  
5 _Wanheda don tel ai op hashta yu gonplai kom Nia. Ai ste shanen seintaim_ : _Wanheda_ told me about your battle with Nia. I’m happy, too.  
6 _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Ai don slip yu thru_ , _kos ai nou don shil Wanheda op_ : Apologies, _Heda_. I failed you because I did not protect _Wanheda_.  
7 _Ai na nou teik yu moba op_. _Yu don gon koma raun_ , _en yu don blid au kom ai_. _Sted*, ai biyo chof gon yu, gona_ : I will not accept your apology. You fought with honor and you bled for me. Instead, I say thanks to you, warrior.” [there isn’t a term for “instead” via Peterson, so I created one: “sted,” a fairly direct derivation from "instead."]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Showdown time, kinda, between Abby and Lexa. I'm gonna give Abby props for not completely losing her shit. Maybe she IS turning over a new leaf and trying to do better. But she did get a little pushy. If she wasn't Clarke's mom, you can bet Lexa would've handled it very differently. I so love it when Lexa sticks up for her boo with Abby. Heh.
> 
> ANYWAY! We are just about done, friends! I'm planning on wrapping it up in the next two weeks, but I'm traveling the last weekend of Sept., so I may have to post after that. Regardless, THANK YOU for joining me on this journey thus far. Thank you for your comments and your kudos, and thanks for taking a chance on me, an unknown in the fanfic world. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.
> 
> UPDATE, 2 October: will hopefully be posting an update this coming weekend/next Monday (the 8th/9th).
> 
> And you can hit me up on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com). Don't be shy! Come on by and chat. I love it.
> 
> Some songs I listened to while writing this installment: On June & Tesity, "The Devil's Tears" (Sam Feldt edit); SGL, "Now Now"; NRVS LVRS, "Lost to the Max"; In Flames, "Here Until Forever"


	73. Wishes Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a heart-to-heart with Octavia in Arkadia and she totally misses Lexa, while back in Polis Lexa talks with Roan then meets with others about various events. And she totally misses Clarke.

Clarke held the radio to her chest for a while after she and Lexa had finished talking and stared up at the endless black velvet of the night sky, at the uncountable number of stars that punctured its expanse, and the ephemeral flow of the Milky Way across her view, like a painter’s stroke. So beautiful she almost wanted to cry, and she ached for Lexa’s touch, ached to be in her arms, to physically feel the connection they had managed to forge in spite of the distance that had molded them each apart but somehow brought them together.

She heard a noise behind her and turned to see Octavia walking toward her, framed by the light that spilled from Arkadia’s superstructure and the surrounding buildings that had been added on with salvaged materials. She might have been _Trikru_ , from the way she now wore her hair and the weapons she carried. It fit her.

“Hey,” Octavia said. “You good?"

“Yeah.”

“Just checking.”

“I figured.” Clarke smiled. “It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” she said as she stared up at the sky again. “It looks so different from here than on the Ark. But I love it.”

“It was kind of weird for me at first. I didn’t get to see much outside of the Ark while we were on it. Couldn’t risk discovery.” She didn’t sound angry. Just wistful.

Clarke glanced at her. “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“Not your fault. It just…was.” She went quiet and joined Clarke in her stargazing and they stood in comfortable silence. Voices and laughter floated in the air behind them, but they seemed to fade the longer Clarke watched the sky, radio clutched to her chest like it was a lifeline to Lexa. In a way, it was.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you much since you got here,” Octavia said. “But I heard it went well with the council.”

“Yeah. No issues, really.” Had it been four days? Five? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“They were okay with Jax’s continued banishment?”

“Yeah. And they were okay if Lexa ultimately doesn’t lift it. Raven was right. Jax is not Mr. Popularity.”

Octavia snorted. “He’s a bigger asshole than Murphy.”

“Raven said the same thing.”

“Coming from her, that says a lot. What did they say about Michi and Lora?”

“They were glad that I got the banishments lifted, even though I was the one who initiated them.”

“Sounds awkward.”

She paused, remembering. “Kind of. But they already knew what happened between the banishment and Nia’s death. And I told them that yeah, it might look bad, lifting a banishment so soon, but we don’t always get to choose the situations we find ourselves in."

Octavia laughed softly. “That so sounds like Lexa.”

Clarke smiled. “That’s because she said it.”

“Knew it.”

“And it’s happened a few times with other clans, a banishment getting lifted soon after it was imposed because something happened that made people reconsider.”

They lapsed into silence again and Clarke drew her breath in as a shooting star tracked across the sky.

“I love that,” Octavia said, voice soft.

“It’s amazing.”

They were quiet again until Octavia spoke.

“Lora has been saying good things about you.”

Clarke looked at her. She could just make out her features. “Why?”

“Um, maybe because she respects you. Or possibly likes you. Don’t know why _that_ would happen,” she added with teasing snark.

“No, I mean why would she feel the need to do that? Did something come up?”

“Not really. Just some people asking about the kind of person you are.”

“What people?”

Octavia smacked her lightly on the arm. “Damn, Griff. Relax. People who haven’t met you but know of you. They’re fascinated by this _Wanheda_ they’ve heard so much about, who fucked up the mountain twice.”

“I had help,” she said softly. “You included.”

“Thanks for the shout-out. But seriously. There’s nothing weird about these convos. Speaking of, Michi thinks you’re pretty badass.”

“Even though I rammed an arrow through her shoulder? She’s her own kind of badass because she handled that in a way most people couldn’t.”

Octavia laughed again. “I think what Michi is most impressed about where you’re concerned is that you didn’t bullshit her or Lora, even though you had banished them both. You still treated them as people, and involved them in decision-making. That’s how Lora put it to Gina.”

Clarke relaxed. Gina was probably keeping an eye on both of them.

“And don’t worry about Jax.”

Clarke focused on her. “Why not?” He had mostly avoided interacting with her and she hadn’t made any effort to talk to him.

“I’m going to watch him. And some others are, too. I don’t trust him. Nobody in our circle trusts him.”

“What about Bellamy?” She had gotten some concession from him in that regard prior to leaving Polis, but it seemed he wasn’t entirely convinced that it was worth his time to take on yet another responsibility.

She made a soft frustrated noise. “Unless Jax is actively doing something, he’ll pretty much let him go about his business, though he does know to keep an eye on him.”

Clarke didn’t respond to Octavia’s confirmation of her thoughts about Bellamy. At least others would be involved in watching Jax. She hadn’t felt like engaging Bellamy since she’d gotten to Arkadia, though they had interacted a few times and it seemed to go all right. But she was tired of adjusting her mood to suit his, so she just left him to his own issues.

“I think he might suspect something’s going on between you and Lexa,” Octavia said.

“Has he said anything to you?”

“He doesn’t have to. I know him.”

Clarke debated what to say, if anything. Bellamy’s moods weren’t her problem, ultimately, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to modify her interactions with Lexa for him.

“It’s not your problem,” Octavia said, as if reading her mind.

“Is he jealous of her?”

“Probably. But not because he wants to hook up with you or anything,” she said, a smirk in her tone.

“Good.”

“It’s more like when you have a good friend and you’re all tight with that friend and you go through all kinds of shit together and then your friend no longer has all her attention for you and instead is caught up with someone else.”

“Life’s like that. It doesn’t mean I like him any less.” And she doubted Octavia’s assessment. Bellamy might actually have wanted more from her than friendship, though he hadn’t said anything. That’s how he was acting, and she didn’t have time for it.

“I know that and you know that, and deep down, he probably knows it, too.”

“I really don’t know what he expects from me.”

“He doesn’t, either. That’s one of his problems. He doesn’t know how to say what’s bothering him, and he hates when he’s feeling insecure—”

“Which is a lot.”

“Yeah. It is. But he never got a childhood. He had to be an adult when I was born and he was still a kid. I know he resented our mom for it, and he might even have resented _me_ a little at first, but then he went full-on protector, especially after our mom was floated. Basically, he never got to sort of evolve into an adult like other people might have.”

Clarke sighed, a little frustrated that Octavia was making excuses for him. “None of us really did.” Every day, it seemed, had its own struggles for survival and everybody was on the take. If you didn’t have resources—and Clarke knew she was lucky, given her parents’ positions—then you learned early how to work the system to get what you needed, but you had to be careful because any little infraction brought a chance of being imprisoned if you were under a certain age or floated.

“Not sure you knew this,” Clarke continued, “but there were a lot of us in detention before we were eighteen. I was in solitary before we came to the ground.” She looked up again, thinking about the weeks she’d spent in that cell. At least they let her draw. And she had a window. “We’ve all got battle scars,” she said softly. “And we all learn to deal. Or not. And honestly, I’m tired of this game with him. He questions my judgment, my decisions, everything I do, then pushes me away and I’m somehow supposed to be the one who makes it better between us. I don’t have anything to apologize to him about. I haven’t done anything wrong to him.”

“Yeah, I get it. He does the same thing with me.”

Clarke heard a familiar brittleness in her tone and she almost sighed again. Why did she always have to deal with somebody else’s issues?

“But don’t worry. I didn’t come out here to tell you to talk to him. I just wanted you to know that this is how he is and it’s not your fault.”

She looked at her, surprised, and clearly, Octavia saw her expression because she laughed softly.

“I know. Shocking. I’m actually not piling on you for something.”

“This is…different.”

She laughed again. “For all the shit that you’ve done that I don’t totally agree with, I get that you’re trying to help and you’re doing what you think is best for the most people. But I will ride your ass if I disagree.”

“You and Bellamy both. At least you’re willing to hear me out.”

“He is, too. He just…hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

Octavia grunted softly. “Then he doesn’t. My point is, his feelings about whatever he thinks is going on between you and Lexa are not your fault and it’s not your responsibility to deal with his tantrums.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“I figured you needed to hear it. You tend to internalize a lot, especially where people close to you are concerned.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out with this wise counsel thing.”

“Yeah. Same here.”

Her smile widened into a grin, but she wasn’t sure Octavia could actually see it.

“Any gossip from Polis?” She motioned at the radio, still clutched in Clarke’s hand against her chest.

“Speaking of, have you decided if you’re coming for the festival? Kane said you and Lincoln might go.”

“Nice deflection, Griff. But yeah, we are. We’ll leave a few days after the _kongeda_ ceremony with the rest of the good will group. Kane will stay here and coordinate the party on this end. People are talking about it, by the way, and looking forward to it.”

“I’ve heard. And that’s the point. We all could use a break.”

She made a soft noise of agreement and they both stared at the sky again, sharing another silence.

“Back to my original question,” Octavia finally said. “Gossip.”

“My mom is working with Lexa and Balta and some of the other healers to launch a project. A training center for healers to learn from each other.”

“That could be interesting. I know Abby was thinking about it when we were all there after Lexa took Nia out.”

Clarke pushed memories of the battle Lexa had fought out of her mind. It still pained her, thinking about it. “Lexa and I have both told her to go easy on the tech. Nothing from the mountain. Not yet. And for some, maybe not ever.”

“Good call.”

“I have those sometimes.”

Octavia snorted again and gently shoulder-bumped her. “Enough about your mom. How’s Lexa?”

Clarke tensed.

“Relax, _Wanheda_. I’m genuinely interested.”

“Really.” She injected a bit of snark into her tone but softened it with a smile.

“Yes. I might not have been a few weeks ago, but I’ve seen how she looks at you. And you with your damn heart eyes at her.”

She flushed, glad it was dark. “My…what?”

Octavia laughed softly. “You heard me. And I won’t lie. I thought for a while maybe she was using you or possibly the other way around, even after the second time at the mountain.”

She meant when she confronted her in the tent at Lexa’s camp. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Clarke muttered.

“Hey, I changed my mind, okay? The heart eyes gave it away.”

Clarke gripped the radio tighter, worried. “Is it obvious?”

She snorted. “No. But I know what to look for because you told me.”

“But if you didn’t know, what would you see?”

“Seriously, Clarke, relax. You’re both very good at covering it up. Anybody who doesn’t know you would think that you worked well together professionally and might even be friends, a little bit. But only someone who pays close attention would see anything more. Besides, the two of you have been in and out of each other’s orbits for months. It’s not like people haven’t started to associate the two of you together as working with the _kongeda_. Which might actually be a good thing, because the more people get used to that, the better for you.”

In and out of each other’s orbits. Drawn together through gravitational forces neither of them understood and the harder Clarke had fought, the stronger the forces were that drew her in. Like physics. For every one of her actions, the forces responded with an equal and opposite reaction. She smiled in spite of herself.

“So how is she?”

“You’re actually asking me?”

“I told you I was interested.”

“Why? Do you have a bet?”

“No, but damn. Maybe I should have.” She shoulder-bumped her again. “And I want to see if heart eyes glow in the dark.”

“One word for you, O. Lincoln.”

“And I totally own that. Maybe you need to own your feelings, too. So how is Lexa?”

Clarke stared at the sky. “She’s…Lexa,” she relented with a smile that she suspected looked as goofy as it felt, if Octavia could see it.

“So…”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Octavia said with a soft bark of laughter.

“I can guess. And it’s true. Yeah. I’m so into her that it physically hurts.”

“ _That_ was a little too much info, but thank you? Maybe?”

“Hey, you were going to ask.”

“Maybe with less detail.”

“I’ll make it worse. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Still waiting on the glow-in-the-dark heart eyes,” Octavia said, a teasing challenge.

“I miss her more than I can even say when she’s not around, which is why I’m standing out here holding on to this damn radio like it’s a sacred object. Because I just talked to her and her voice alone makes me feel like I can fly.”

“Whoa. Okay, Griff. Thank you. I’d like to retain my dinner, please.”

“Whatever. Like you don’t get that way about Lincoln.”

“Fine. Still, this sounds pretty serious.”

“It is,” she said, and the truth of voicing it aloud warmed every part of her, spread through her veins with her blood.

Neither spoke for a while.

Octavia crossed her arms. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Clarke shrugged but realized Octavia might not have seen the motion. “Find a way to make it work.”

She was quiet again for a while. “And Lexa’s position? Or is this one of your unilateral decisions? In which case, I feel sorry for Lexa. She won’t know what hit her.”

Clarke snorted a laugh then thought about Lexa swearing fealty to her and she almost forgot to breathe. “She wants to make it work.”

Again Octavia was quiet. “She’s the Commander. Will that be…a problem?”

“There have been Commanders in the past who had—” she stopped, not sure what the term should be. Partner? Wife? She forgot to breathe again. _Wife_?

“Spouses?”

“Yeah.” But that word seemed impersonal. “Is that a term that Grounders use?”

“ _Houmon_ ,” Octavia said softly. “It means wife or husband or spouse, which doesn’t translate exactly. Basically, someone you’re bonded to.”

“Is it like what people did on the Ark? That is, the ones who decided to do a ceremony after they registered?”

“Kind of. Lincoln’s told me about it. Different clans have different ways to do it, but the end result is the same. You basically agree to bond with someone. Or more than one someone. And sometimes a bonded couple expand their bond to other adults. Grounders aren’t hung up on relationship types between adults. Plus, though it’s hard to survive down here, they’re not as restricted in terms of rations. So they can be more flexible in their relationships. That’s my guess, anyway.”

“So how does a bond ceremony work down here?” She hoped her tone betrayed nothing beyond passing interest.

“Depends on the clan. But you don’t have to have a ceremony. It can be a private thing, where you acknowledge each other as bonded and then you either make it public in a ceremony or you just notify people that you’re bonded as you go about your business. And some people will have a private thing, then much later do a public kind of ceremony, which is pretty casual from what Lincoln said. Or it might be a little more formal. It just depends on what the people in the bond want.”

“So a bond is like what people did on the Ark, but you don’t have to register.”

“Yeah. And it’s considered a bond as long as the people want to continue it. But Grounders tend to take a bond very seriously, so if they enter one, it’s a big deal. It has to do with honor, loyalty, and love, and as chill as they are about sex and relationships, a bond is a whole other level of intimacy. At least that’s how Lincoln described it. I might not be completely understanding it.”

“I like that you don’t have to register.”

“Yeah. But like I said, resources aren’t as big an issue on the ground. Not like up there.”

Clarke looked at her. “So have you and Lincoln…?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Not yet?” Clarke looked at her. “Are you planning to?”

“Maybe,” she said and Clarke heard in her voice that most likely, they would.

“I want to be invited to the ceremony, if you have one,” she said, only partially teasing.

She snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

“Have you talked about it?”

“Kind of. He’s explained how a bond is introduced as part of teaching me about his culture, but we haven’t really talked about it as something between us, though I guess we’ve hinted.” She laughed. “Okay, maybe we’ve actually hinted a lot. But we’ll see how things go.”

“Wait. Back up. There’s a formal introduction of a bond? How does that work?” Again, she tried to sound only mildly interested. Behind them, a group of people started to sing a song she recognized from the Ark.

“Haven’t heard that in a while,” Octavia muttered. “Bellamy used to sing it to me.”

“A drinking song?”

“He learned it before I was born. Our mom used to sing it.”

They listened for a while, until the song dissolved into gales of laughter.

“Anyway,” Octavia said, “Lincoln said that a private introduction of a bond doesn’t always involve a talk between people. One person might declare intentions and then the other person can either declare back or wait a while. Or, of course, turn down the bond offer. But Lincoln said that a person won’t initiate if there’s a chance the other doesn’t reciprocate. Although I guess a person might do that to let the other person know that they’ll be there for them, no matter what’s decided. Seems risky, though, to do that. But it happens, he said.”

Clarke thought about the night she’d spent with Lexa in her tent after she returned from a confrontation with Nia, and how Lexa said there was nothing that would have stopped her from going into the mountain to find her, that she would always find her, as long as her heart beat. The stars blurred with the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. She swallowed. Lexa had let her know before that, too, in her oath of fealty, that she would always be there for her, that she would always find her…

“If someone was going to initiate a bond, what would they say?”

Octavia looked at her. “Depends. But Lincoln said there’s usually an oath involved.”

Clarke’s heart seemed almost to stop and she stared into the dark, a roaring in her ears, the image of Lexa kneeling to her filling her mind. Had Lexa meant it that way? Or was she trying to assure her that she would always have an ally? _I vow to treat your needs as my own, and your people as my people_ … _no matter what you face, I will face it with you._ She had said that Clarke didn’t need to respond, that she wanted her to understand what she meant to her. And in Lexa fashion, she had put no expectations on her, and left it to Clarke to interpret it as she wished, to reciprocate or not.

“If one person does that, what does the other person have to do?” she asked, glad that her voice sounded steady.

“Normally, the other person would verbally accept, since usually the people involved have been building up to it, but sometimes the person wants to take some time with the idea. The bond offer stands until the other person refuses or the person who offered it retracts it. But that hardly ever happens, apparently, because like I told you, Grounders take this shit seriously.”

“Then I can see why you and Lincoln haven’t done it yet,” she said, trying to deflect from her own chaotic emotions running roughshod through her heart and mind.

Octavia didn’t respond and she was glad, as she closed her eyes and let the cool of the night settle over her, but it did little to soothe her mind or calm the fires within. It might have been easy to try to contact Lexa again on the radio, but she knew she had probably turned it off to save battery power. And besides, Clarke needed to see her, wanted to be near her when she talked to her about what she had learned from Octavia this night.

“My mom knows about Lexa,” Clarke said after a while, enjoying the rapport she and Octavia seemed to have found, however briefly.

“You told her?”

“No. Not directly. But she’s kind of suspected.”

“So how does she know?”

“Lexa told her.”

“Wait. Why—”

“She didn’t really have a choice.” She sighed. “You know how my mom can corner people. And Lexa decided to answer her questions.” She crossed her arms, still holding the radio, still imagining it as a lifeline to Lexa.

“When did this happen?”

“Earlier today. I just found out.” She motioned with the radio.

“Shit. I haven’t seen or heard any explosions, so maybe they’re okay.”

Clarke laughed. “Right?”

“I mean, this is huge, Griff. Lexa actually said _to your mom_ that you two are together. Even if it was in her usual way.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“Lexa’s good at answering questions directly without actually answering directly.”

She smiled and gazed upward again.

“Your mom is probably not going to talk about it.”

“Not publicly. She might to me.” And since Lexa had spoken to her, chances were that Abby would bring it up.

“You said you’re serious about this,” Octavia said and she sounded thoughtful.

“I am.” Her chest tightened.

“I figured. Or you wouldn’t have asked me all those questions.”

She flushed.

“Don’t worry,” Octavia said, as if she had seen the heat splashed across Clarke’s cheeks, even in the dark. “If I didn’t know you’re with her, I wouldn’t think anything of questions like that.”

Clarke didn’t respond. Behind them someone had started another song.

“I don’t know if there’s a difference in how Grounders approach bonds with Commanders,” Octavia continued, “but I doubt it, since you’d be approaching her not as _Heda_ , but as _Leksa kom Trikru_ , who just happens to be _Heda_. Do you want me to check with Lincoln?”

Clarke laughed quietly. “And why exactly are you helping me?”

“I decided you’re not all bad, Griffin. You can be an asshole, but you do usually have a reason behind it.” She bumped her again.

“And when did you make this decision?”

“Been building toward it. Slow process,” she teased.

“Well, thanks.”

“Yeah, well, thanks for sticking up for Lincoln’s people.”

With the possible exception of killing so many of Lexa’s warriors at the drop ship. She gritted her teeth, but the memory didn’t bring the sense of unease in terms of Lexa that it once did. “It was the right thing to do, even with all the other crap that happened.”

Octavia grunted in what might have been agreement.

“And to be clear, I didn’t plan on this.”

“Which part? The Ark running out of air so we had to come to the ground? Finding out that there are people down here, and that some of them were bleeding Grounders dry for decades? Or finding someone like Lexa?”

“All of the above.”

“But Lexa most of all.”

“I definitely did not plan for _that_.” She hadn’t planned on doing anything the day she first walked into Lexa’s tent with Gustus’s warning ringing in her ears except try to buy them some more time. And there Lexa sat in full regalia toying with her knife, authority rolling off her in waves, the intense green of her eyes accentuated by her facepaint, the graceful lines of her face set hard as stone. Their jousting started immediately, and she knew that Lexa could have killed her at any time during that meeting. Could have done it herself or had Indra do it. She didn’t, and Clarke had wondered why.

She knew now that Lexa had recognized in her a kindred spirit, and had decided to see where it might lead. And her decision had resonated with Clarke, though she might not have understood precisely why, at first, Lexa granted her the access she did.

No, she definitely hadn’t planned on Lexa. Or the secret delight she took in their verbal sparring and later, conversations about how to approach the mountain. In spite of their differences and logical enmity, they shared respect for each other and, Clarke began to realize later, something else.

“I’m sure Lexa didn’t plan for it, either. But you can be pretty persuasive,” Octavia said, interrupting her thoughts.

“So can she.” And she could also be oh, so patient.

“I don’t know. In a battle of persuasion, I’m pretty sure Clarke Griffin could wear down the Commander of the clans. It might take a while, but she has a weak spot for you.”

“It’s not weak, to care about somebody,” Clarke said softly. “Especially if that person makes you feel like you can do anything.”

Octavia squeezed Clarke’s shoulder in support. “I hope things work out between you,” she said. “And don’t worry. It’s not something I talk about.”

“Thanks.”

“So you want to come back with me to whatever party this might be or hang out here for a while?”

“I think I’ll probably just go to bed.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. See you later.”

“Okay.” Octavia turned to go then stopped. “Oh, by the way, saw you practicing with your knives the other day. You’re getting pretty good. I’m sure Lexa will be happy about that,” she teased, and walked away.

Clarke smiled into the dark and looked up again, never tiring of the expanse above. She doubted she’d ever get tired of this perspective, or of the wonder of so many stars, everywhere she looked. How many times had she stared down on the planet from the Ark, wondering what might be there, or if she’d ever see it? And how many times might Lexa have stared up, wondering what was beyond?

She pressed the radio to her lips and slid it into her pocket and went in search of Tam and Mora, who, along with Hart and Jo, the other two Grounder warriors Lexa had sent, had been helping with watch duties. In two days, she’d be back in Polis and this time, she needed to finish a certain conversation with a certain Commander.

 

###

 

Lexa settled back into her chair and regarded Roan, who stood a few paces away from the base of the dais, alert and seemingly rested though he had reached Polis late the night before. Morning light streamed through the council chamber windows, creating patterns on the stone floor. She threw a glance at the two warriors behind him who he had brought.

One she knew had been in the mountain the first time, but she wasn’t sure how she had found her way to Roan. She had the look of a trained warrior, alert and lithe, dark, unreadable eyes, hair pulled back. No facial scars, however. The other she recognized as a man Roan kept close, who seemed to have been with him since his banishment. Hard and seasoned, the look of long experience on his features.

“I am pleased that you have arrived, _haihefa_ ,” Lexa said. “I trust that your quarters are to your satisfaction.”

He smiled, and it seemed genuine. “ _Sha_ , _Heda_. We are all grateful for the hospitality you have extended to us.”

In the wake of all that happened, Lexa finished silently for him. “If you or any of your staff or guards require anything, please alert a servant or tower staff.”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement and the woman with him glanced at her, a quick, almost furtive check before she directed her gaze to a spot on the wall past Lexa’s sholder.

“I wished to speak with you regarding _Azgeda_ entrance into the _kongeda_ ,” he said in his soft, gravel-laden baritone.

Lexa didn’t respond, fully aware that this was the primary reason he had requested an audience. To her right, she sensed Titus shifting his position slightly. Indra stood near the door, hand on the hilt of her sword, watching everything.

“Might a council convene within the next few days to hear my petition, and, if it comes to pass, perform a ceremony?” he asked.

“I have called the council to gather three days hence, which allows all at least a day to prepare, should they be traveling from outside the city,” she said, attention on him though she also continued to assess the warriors with him.

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ ,” he said, expression one of relief.

“I will inform you now that there has been a change with regard to the _Delfikru_ representative. Danyel is no longer with the council. _Freya kom Delfikru_ is acting as interim until _heda Izik kom Delfikru_ consults with his advisors as to who will serve in Danyel’s former capacity. I trust this is amenable to you.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Freya is a niece of Danyel,” she said, and comprehension dawned in his eyes.

“Ah. I know of her father. A great man and fine leader. I’m certain she will make an excellent addition to the council, should Izik choose to allow her to continue.”

“That is the hope.” She paused. “Do you require anything further?”

“No, _Heda_ , but I did wish to tell you that _Azgeda_ appreciates that you sent _kongeda_ representatives to witness the rituals for the final journey of _haiplana_ Nia.”

She nodded once, acknowledging also what he did not say, which was that he did not hold her responsible for his mother’s death despite her role in the circumstances that brought it. “I extend the full hospitality of Polis to you and your _kru_ , _haihefa_ , during your stay here, and I hope that _Azgeda_ still intends to participate in the festival, which will begin ten days from today.”

At that, he smiled. “We do indeed intend to participate. Might I speak with those responsible for coordinating things here, that I can direct my _kru_ to help with preparations? I would also like to provide food and drink.”

Lexa smiled back. “We would welcome such. I will send _fisa_ Balta to speak with you later today about planning.” She glanced at Balta, who stood near the entrance, and Balta gave her the barest of nods.

He nodded and she caught a bit of relaxation in the two warriors with him.

“Have you anything else you wish to address?”

“No. _Mochof_.”

“Very well. Unless anything presents itself before we gather, I will see you then, _haihefa_.”

He bowed his head as did the warriors with him and retreated from the room. Lexa waited a few beats and glanced at Balta. “I would speak with Atlan, now.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. Shall I prepare the smaller meeting room?”

Lexa nodded and stood and Balta slipped into the corridor.

“It appears Roan is interested in working with you,” Titus said.

“Mmm.” Lexa descended the dais. “He has always been interested in such.”

“I have determined that he is much like his father, and will be far easier to approach than Nia ever was,” he said as he joined her. “But _Azgeda_ —”

“Is under new rule, _Fleimkepa_. And though he shares blood with Nia, he does not share beliefs. As a united front with _Azgeda_ , we can accomplish much more than we could apart. _Azgeda_ are a strong, proud people with resources and knowledge they can share with others. They, too, will benefit, as the other clans have resources they may not have. That is the purpose of alliance.”

He said nothing, and Lexa looked at him.

“That and ensuring we can watch them,” she added with a half-smile and Titus’s lips twitched in what was almost an answering smile. “Tell me of the warriors with Roan today.”

He pursed his lips. “The man is Ben. He has served Roan for many years, since before Nia banished him. He is thus one of _Azgeda_ who made the choice to leave his homelands with his preferred leader. No loyalty for Nia, which put his family in danger, but he ensured they were protected.”

“How?”

“ _Floukru_.”

Lexa frowned. “They went to Luna’s _kru_?”

“ _Sha_.”

Lexa pondered that. Luna was a staunch pacifist, though easily one of the best warriors to come out of the Conclave. “What else do you know of this that you have not told me?”

Titus’s eyes widened. “ _Heda_ , I mean no disrespect. I don’t often trouble you with small details.”

She smiled. “I know. But details often presage larger things or may be the key to precisely our questions.”

“ _Moba_.”

She waved her hand in dismissal. “I know that you are the keeper of much information, and that if it is something you feel I need to know, you will tell me. Clearly, in this case, it’s an off-handed context, and is only relevant now. So. Has Luna been offering safe harbor to others?”

“Not that I have been able to ascertain. I will of course inform you if that is the case.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “ _Fleimkepa_ , if there is anyone in the _kongeda_ better equipped to provide sanctuary than Luna and _Floukru_ , I am hard-pressed to determine who that is. I am pleased that one of Roan’s allies found safe haven for his family. Who, though, was the other warrior with him this day?”

“ _Echo kom Azgeda_.”

“She was trapped in _Maun-de_ the first time.” It wasn’t a question.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Where did she go once all our people were liberated?”

“I am not certain, but I do know she also served Nia.”

“Is she a Roan loyalist? Or simply an opportunist?”

“I am still trying to determine such.”

“And I’m sure you’ll let me know when you have.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“If you have time now, join me and Balta to determine what Atlan learned during the past few days.”

“I must attend to a few things before you join the Novitiates.”

“Very well. I will see you then.”

He nodded and she turned and strode out of the chamber and walked down the hall to the smaller meeting room, thinking about Clarke though she was trying not to since she had to deal with so many other things. But it didn’t matter because Clarke was always on her mind, whether forefront or in the background. Always.

Clarke was part of her thoughts, part of her heart, and everything she once assumed she would never have in her life. She smiled as she walked to the head of the table and sat down. Clarke would be back in Polis at the earliest the next day, and though she was a little apprehensive, she was also giddy, a sensation that was new to her, but she enjoyed it.

Lexa had eschewed her coat, facepaint, and swords today, but she was dressed in black and wore her knives, thick leather vest, and thigh guards. Clarke liked the vest, she knew, and she smiled as again, Clarke entered her thoughts unbidden.

Balta entered the room carrying a large tray on which stood a pitcher, cups, plates, a platter of meat and hunk of cheese, and a loaf of bread. She set the tray on the table and began removing the items and setting them within reach of Lexa’s seat at the head of the table facing the door.

“Atlan will be along soon. She is meeting with Indra and Ferris at the guardhouse.”

“Which explains the food,” Lexa said.

“I don’t recall that you ate before your audience with Roan,” she said. “And I know how _Heda_ appreciates being looked after.”

Lexa rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion for Balta’s benefit as she sliced the bread.

“Though I am quite certain that she would more than welcome such if a certain _Skaikru_ woman were to engage in looking after her.”

Lexa put meat on a piece of bread before she responded. “Balta speaks with great wisdom,” she admitted before she took a bite.

“I am honored that _Heda_ has finally recognized this,” she said with a long-suffering tone and Lexa smiled as she chewed. “Rex has improved greatly in the last few days.” Balta poured tea into Lexa’s cup as she spoke.

“I know. He was standing when I saw him.” The morning light from the balcony poured into this room, too, and Lexa wished, as she did practically every waking moment, that Clarke was there with her. Soon. So very soon.

“The Chancellor has him walking the corridor a bit to get his muscles working and blood flowing.”

Lexa looked at her. “When did this start?”

“Soon after you saw him. He is tired afterward, but he appears to enjoy it.”

Lexa picked up her cup. “The Chancellor could no doubt browbeat a dead man into walking.”

Balta stared at her for a beat then laughed and Lexa laughed, too, because it was rare, that they allowed themselves a truly light moment. “Thoughts perhaps Clarke has had in the past, as well.”

“Mmm,” Lexa said, noncommittal.

Balta’s smile widened. “I have ensured that your schedule remain relatively free tomorrow evening, given Clarke’s return from Arkadia.”

Lexa cleared her throat and poured herself more tea, but she knew the blush was already visible.

“There is no shame in anticipating the company of those we care about,” she said. “Not even for _Heda_.”

She smiled. “I hope that I will always be worthy of your service, _fisa_.”

“You’re more family than blood,” Balta said.

“Not all family is worthy of aiding.”

“True. But you are.” She poured herself some tea.

“Is the Chancellor staying for the _kongeda_ ceremony?” Balta asked.

“It appears so. Another three days makes little difference.”

“Is Clarke aware that the Chancellor is staying?”

“Yes. Clarke spoke with her via radio. It seems that Abby may stay through the festival, to help coordinate the _Skaikru_ guests who will be attending.”

“How many?”

“Perhaps ten. Clarke will inform me.”

“I’m sure she will,” Balta said, with a little note of teasing in her tone and again Lexa felt heat at her collar. “Does _Heda_ require anything more before Atlan arrives?” she asked, as she gestured at the food, still smiling.

“Yes. Join me.” She motioned at the chair to her right. “It has been a while since we truly shared a meal.”

Balta hesitated then sat down and took one of the pieces of bread that Lexa had sliced and piled meat and cheese on it. “It appears that Roan is eager to join the _kongeda_.”

Lexa nodded as she, too, put meat on a piece of bread. “He has expressed his desire to do so consistently since his banishment. Several sources have confirmed that he supported an alliance of the clans, against his mother’s views, and it was a point of contention between them.”

“His father was a supporter of some kind of alliance, as well, but your predecessor was not.”

“Most of them weren’t.” She took a bite, and realized that she was hungry. “We might have defeated the _Maun-de_ years ago had we united.”

“Perhaps. Or perhaps it did require an alliance with _Skaikru_ , who are more like _Maunon_ than we are because of their familiarity with tech.”

“And in other ways, perhaps.”

Balta didn’t respond. She didn’t have to, because she knew, too, that _Skaikru_ ’s background did lend itself to comparisons to the _Maunon_.

Lexa took a drink, thinking. “But not all _Skaikru_ accept that about themselves.” She stared into her cup for a moment. “The Ark sent a hundred to the ground first. Clarke told me they were all young, and had been in…detention, is her word. Imprisoned.”

Balta’s gaze hardened. “Why?”

“She said it was for many different reasons. Usually stealing, though she was imprisoned—”

“Clarke was?”

“ _Sha_. The man who was Chancellor then—Jaha—considered her a threat to order because she knew that her father had discovered that the Ark was dying. He wished to tell them all, that they could work together to create a plan, but the Chancellor thought this would create problems. So he silenced him. And her.”

“ _Skaikru_ did this to her father? And to her?” From her tone, it was clear that Clarke hadn’t spoken much about it with Balta. “And then all of these prisoners were sent to the ground to help the people who had done this to them?” Her eyes widened with incredulity.

“Indeed.”

“And yet they became leaders.” She was silent for a few moments and Lexa put a few more strips of meat on another piece of bread. “I think perhaps Clarke may be like her father in many ways, from what you have told me here,” Balta said.

Lexa looked at her.

“He wished to put a question to his people, in order to determine a course of action, and create an alliance, perhaps, to implement it. He thought doing this would help save his people. Clarke brought this approach to the ground with her, and it is why you and she work so well together.”

She stopped eating and listened.

“Because you, too, believe in strength through alliance. And both of you understand what leadership requires. There is great loss possible, as well as great gain. You are two parts of the same spirit, _Heda_ , and it is why you are drawn together.”

Lexa half-smiled. “You are suggesting that the spirit of the Commander guided my hand where Clarke is concerned?”

She made a noncommittal noise. “You could easily have killed her when you first met her, for what she did at the drop ship to your warriors. For any number of reasons, you were within your rights to do so. But you didn’t. And now here you are.”

Lexa sipped. “Balta has become an oracle. I worry that Titus may have competition for his position as _Fleimkepa_.”

She smiled. “He and I work well together in the positions we already occupy. And perhaps we might use this story, about you and Clarke.”

Lexa locked her gaze to Balta’s as what she said sank in. “That the spirit of the Commander led us together?”

“Mmm.” Balta sat back, brow creased in thought. “It’s not untrue. The two of you are clearly drawn to each other and something stayed your hand when you first met her.”

“Perhaps I was simply interested in what she and _Skaikru_ could offer.”

“You were. But you could easily have gotten the information you wanted and then killed her.”

“Not so. She and Abby were able to bring Lincoln back from the Red. And others. I needed her for that, and to help get our people out of _Maun-de_.”

“But yet you left her alive. And then you ensured her safety in the forests and brought her here to protect her from Nia.” Her expression turned sly. “Of course, there were other feelings involved by then.”

Lexa busied herself with a few more bites of her food.

“There are those among us who seem as two pieces of the same spirit, _Heda_. Why could it not be with someone from _Trikru_ and someone from _Skaikru_? Becca came from the sky. Ground and sky share a past, though we do not yet understand it all. Why not share a future, too?”

She regarded her, considering. “And this is a story you think would help people accept a pairing between me and Clarke?”

“It might.”

Lexa finished eating. The idea had merit. And it wasn’t untrue. From the first moment she saw Clarke, something inexplicable—something strangely powerful—unfurled in the air between them, like a clan pennant captured suddenly in a breeze where before there was none. And yes, she could have killed her and no one would have questioned her decision. But she didn’t, and she knew it had to do with whatever strange force had brought Clarke not only to her tent that day, but perhaps to the ground in the first place. Some things people were not meant to fully understand and even as Commander, she was not so arrogant to presume otherwise.

“Have you spoken of this to Titus?” Lexa asked as she picked up her cup.

“I have broached the subject, yes.”

“And?”

“He was uncomfortable at first, but sees the benefit of this approach where your relationship with Clarke is concerned.”

She sipped. “What were his objections?”

“He is not entirely comfortable with the idea of you with someone from _Skaikru_.”

She smiled. “He has said as much to me, as well.”

“He accepts that there may be a shared past between our people and _Skaikru_ , but he had not fully embraced _Skaikru_ as an ally.”

“I cannot fault him for that,” Lexa said. “Though Clarke works constantly on my behalf—and Kane does, as well— _Skaikru_ may not yet be fully trustworthy.”

Balta finished eating a piece of cheese. “And I’m sure there are those among the clans who also are not fully trustworthy either where _Skaikru_ is concerned or, for that matter, you.”

“Indeed,” she said, conceding Balta’s point.

“All will take time, _Heda_. But already, we have come so far from when you first Ascended. Much more is possible, after what both you and Clarke have accomplished.”

Lexa swirled the tea in her cup. “Let us plant this idea, then, and see what we might grow.” It occurred to her, too, that she was speaking with Balta about a more permanent bond with Clarke, something she never thought would come to pass after Costia’s death. Perhaps Balta sensed her thoughts, because she regarded her for a long moment.

“I will do as you request. But I also think that you and Clarke speak to each other with a language others do not understand, and that is a rare gift, to find someone who understands you like that,” she said. “What does it matter, ultimately, what clan birthed her?”

“Quite a bit, perhaps, if one of us is _Heda_ ,” she said wryly.

“And it will not be easy, but what you do here will set a tone for the Commanders that follow. You are not only doing this for yourself, _Heda_. You are doing this for them, as well. And that, too, may be the spirit of the Commander acting through you to ensure better for those behind you.”

“I think perhaps _you_ might be part of the spirit of the Commander,” Lexa said as she set her cup down. “Perhaps we all are.”

A knock sounded on the door and a guard leaned in. “ _Heda_ , _Atlan kom Floukru ste hir_.”

“ _Os_. _Sen em op in_.” 1

He nodded and pushed the door further open. Atlan entered, looking rested after her arrival late the night before. Her dark eyes lit up when she saw Balta and light from the windows glinted off the reddish tones in her hair, giving her an almost ethereal appearance before she shifted her gaze to Lexa, who raised an eyebrow as a thought occurred to her. Balta gave Atlan a polite nod, but something in her eyes told Lexa another story entirely. She forced her expression to remain neutral, though a grin struggled to express itself.

“ _Heda_ ,” Atlan said with a nod. “I am pleased to see you.”

“And I you. Join us. Balta, will it trouble you to remain?”

“No, _Heda_.”

“ _Os_.” She gestured at the chair across from Balta. “Have you eaten?” she asked as Atlan sat down. Balta took the one other clean cup she had brought and poured tea into it. She handed the cup to Atlan.

“No, I have not.”

“Then please, join us.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Heda_.” She took a piece of bread and piled meat and cheese onto it.

“Balta and I were discussing a few things with regard to various matters,” Lexa said. Balta shot her a look but Lexa pretended not to notice. “It appears Gonin did not return to Polis.”

“He chose to remain in _Azgeda_ ,” Atlan said, “with Jos’s approval. She would like him to remain there as a point of contact for her. Roan has taken him on as an advisor for a while, to determine how he will serve.”

“Did Jos speak with Roan on his behalf?” Balta asked.

“ _Sha_. Gonin was content to return to his family, but Roan asked him his thoughts on you as _Heda_ and Gonin spoke so highly and so genuinely of you that Roan asked if he would consider working with him as an advisor, and said that it would mean working with you both directly and indirectly.” She smiled as she took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. “Gonin has become one of your biggest supporters, _Heda_ , and he sends his good wishes to you.”

“Oh?” Lexa took another slice of bread and a few more pieces of cheese. “Even though he now lacks a finger?”

Atlan shrugged. “He considers it a reminder of bad decisions he made, and talks about how you gave him a second chance when he clearly didn’t deserve one. He respects that about you, and also that you did not lie to him about your intentions or the punishments he faced. I think it was difficult for those who had to deal with Nia because she was…capricious in her dealings with people.”

“Mmm.” She chewed, thinking. “What of Fyzen?”

“He is reunited with his family, healing, and also praising you.”

“Better than the alternative, I suppose,” she said, smiling as Balta rolled her eyes.

“He is relieved that even though he is _Azgeda_ that you were willing to listen to him, that you did not consider all _Azgeda_ in thrall to Nia.” Atlan took a drink of tea.

Lexa sat back. Her immediate predecessor had a habit of doing that with regard to _Azgeda_ , she knew, and it may have inadvertently added fuel to the fires Nia stoked against her, though she was nothing like the previous Commander. Her own interactions with him demonstrated that, as did the gossip of warriors and servants.

“And how is Hamza?” Lexa asked, tone dry.

Atlan grinned. “On his best behavior, as you no doubt thought he would be, _Heda_. He comported himself with proper gravitas, as the situation required, and Roan expressed appreciation that _kongeda_ members had come with him, given Nia’s history.”

“Disregarding the dead brings ill omens.” Balta refilled Atlan’s cup then stood with the pitcher. “ _Heda_ , I shall return.”

Lexa nodded, thinking about her statement as she moved to the door. Disregarding the dead also brought political quicksand. She set her cup down, pretending that she didn’t notice the way Atlan’s gaze lingered on Balta as she left. “What is your sense of Hamza’s involvement with Danyel?”

Atlan reached for another slice of bread. “I think he wishes to distance himself as much as possible from him. Indra told us yesterday when we arrived that Danyel and Mykal had been taken to face execution.”

“His reaction?”

“Relieved, more than anything.”

“So he probably knew something of what Danyel was plotting.”

Atlan nodded. “That is my impression, as well. But I don’t think he was directly involved, and I’m not yet sure how much he knew.”

“He might not relax just yet,” Lexa said as she watched Atlan slice the rest of the bread. “Danyel may have said a few things before his death.”

“My thoughts, as well, but perhaps if Hamza knew something, Danyel didn’t know what exactly that was. It could be that Hamza was privy to information _about_ Danyel, and not necessarily _from_ him.”

“Which he should have brought to me regardless,” Lexa said.

“ _Sha_. He should have, if this is the case.”

“Given your time with Hamza these past few days, what is your sense of the threat he may pose?”

Atlan stopped slicing and straightened. “I think Hamza is content with his position in the _kongeda_ and he likes having access to you.”

Lexa frowned.

“Politically, _Heda_. Hamza likes thinking he is involved in political currents, whether _Sankru_ has anything to do with them or not. And he is pleased to be of service, given that his warrior days are past, and he enjoys feeling useful.” She placed a few strips of meat from the dwindling pile on her bread. “He fears irrelevance.”

Lexa knew the type. Some warriors who aged out of fighting, often plagued with the painful physical evidence of their calling, feared being forgotten more than they feared even death. Hamza’s wife had died years before, and his daughter had married into another clan while his two sons were merchants, leaving him with no family connection to his warrior past. Perhaps that was part of why he formed a relationship with Danyel. They were within a few years of each other in terms of age, and Danyel understood Hamza’s background like no one else could, since Danyel had also been a warrior.

“Hamza was respected as a warrior,” she said, musing aloud.

Atlan nodded, expression puzzled.

“And he has not been involved in training new warriors.” She raised an eyebrow.

“No.” And then her eyes widened. “You wish to make him feel useful again, in a way that is more in keeping with his background.”

“Atlan demonstrates much wisdom today,” Lexa said with a smile. “Tell him I wish to speak with him at some point in the next couple of days. Tell him I seek his advice.”

She grinned and took another bite of her sandwich just as the door opened and Balta entered with another pitcher. She refilled all their cups before she sat down and Lexa told her what she had proposed with regard to Hamza.

“I think, though, that Danyel’s death may solve a problem for him,” Balta said.

Atlan nodded as she picked up her cup. “Our thoughts, too. I don’t know yet how involved he was, but if it was more than we are yet aware, Danyel’s death ensures that he won’t be held accountable. _Heda_ ’s suggestion may solve a loyalty problem with him and bind him closer to her and the _kongeda_ , but he warrants watching.”

“Wash will inform me if Danyel revealed anything before his death about Hamza.” She looked at Atlan. “I will not speak with Hamza until I know what Danyel may have revealed. That will determine the conversation I have with him.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Atlan said.

“Titus and I have spoken about this,” Balta said. “We have put some measures in place.”

Lexa nodded. She meant that Hamza was under greater surveillance now, and that certain members of the council were watching him, too. He no doubt suspected such, but he wouldn’t know precisely who to be wary of. What Hamza didn’t know was that Titus had ensured that sympathizers to her were among the personal staffs of nearly all _kongeda_ members, and would be returning to their home villages, monitoring.

“For now, _Delfikru_ and _Sankru_ are the greatest concerns. Has Balta already informed you that _Freya kom Delfikru_ is acting _kongeda_ representative in Danyel’s stead?” Her tone was entirely neutral, but the hint of a blush colored Atlan's cheeks. It passed quickly.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_. I don’t know her personally, but I am told that she has respect in her clan and not only because of her father’s reputation. Gani and I have often wondered if she would become _heda_ after Izik.”

“Do you feel that if she becomes permanent representative that you can work with her?”

“ _Sha_.” She frowned. “Perhaps Izik is going to allow such to happen to keep her away from his power base.”

Lexa shrugged. “We have wondered this, too, but I think perhaps Izik does not fully understand her influence. From what we know, she is more trusted than he is, and he may think he’s isolating her by granting her permission to serve as _kongeda_ representative, but he may actually be amplifying her reputation among her supporters.”

“Is Freya a supporter of yours?” Atlan asked.

“That I do not know. We are working to ascertain such.” She flicked a glance at Balta, who nodded. Lexa looked back at Atlan. “What do you know of _Echo kom Azgeda_?”

“She is a Roan loyalist. They are childhood friends, and trained together as warriors.” She regarded Lexa over the rim of her cup. “She is gifted in this respect, _Heda_.”

“So Roan trusts her.”

“ _Sha_ ,” Atlan said. “But she was also loyal to Nia.”

Balta frowned. “So she is loyal to whoever occupies the throne of _Azgeda_.”

“Which is not unlike being loyal to whoever is the _heda_ of one’s clan,” Lexa said. She could admire someone with such consistency, but if a _heda_ didn’t earn respect, there was no point to loyalty. “She was in the mountain the first time,” she said, looking at Atlan.

“ _Sha_. Roan tried to find her, but did not have the resources to face the _Maunon_. Or the tech knowledge.”

“Are they anything more than fellow _gona_?”

“No. They may have been in the past, but from what I can tell, they do not have that kind of relationship. She is more a warrior and possibly advisor to him.” She glanced at Balta then at Lexa. “I do not know how she feels about you, _Heda_.”

“Something else to determine,” Lexa said, tone dry. “Has she expressed anything about the _kongeda_?”

“She supports what Roan decides, because she seems to believe that he has _Azgeda_ ’s best interests in his heart. Like many, though, she keeps her thoughts on this matter private.”

“She bears no scars,” Balta said.

“No. She served as a spy for Nia.” Atlan’s features exhibited distaste. “Nia preferred that spies not bear _Azgeda_ scars.”

The better to pass among other clans. “How did she end up in _Maun-de_?” Lexa poured more tea into all cups.

“Bad luck, is what Gonin told me,” Atlan said, maybe a little surprised that Lexa poured the tea herself. “Jos confirmed.”

“What are her feelings toward _Skaikru_?” Lexa pressed.

“Conflicted, I’d wager,” Atlan said. “ _Belomi kom Skaikru_ helped her the first time Clarke went into _Maun-de_ , did he not?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Balta said. “Jos mentioned that she may not have known then about the alliance _Skaikru_ had with _Heda_ , and therefore has a lack of trust toward _Skaikru_.”

And, by extention, the Commander. Lexa looked at Balta. “She bears watching.”

“Something that we have already put into motion,” Balta said with a tight smile.

Atlan nodded. “We must consider the possibility of threat from any quarter.”

“And so we shall. Have you—”

Another knock at the door interrupted her. A guard opened it.

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_. _Wash ste hir_ , _kom Ferris en em fossopa_.” 2

She nodded and motioned for the guard to let them in. The guard retreated and Wash entered, followed by Ferris and a woman she recognized as Blis, one of Ferris’s most trusted scouts. Wash closed the door behind them and Lexa gestured for all to take seats, noting the exhaustion on Wash’s features and the grime that marred his riding leathers. Blis bore similar grime, some of which streaked the dark skin of her face.

“I am pleased to see you, _Wash kom Trikru_ ,” she said. “And you, _Blis kom Trishana_. Have you eaten?”

“No, _Heda_. We only just arrived.”

“Ferris?” Lexa said.

“I have not, _Heda_.”

Lexa caught Balta’s eye and Balta nodded and left, brushing past Wash as she did.

“The punishment was carried out,” Wash stated before anything else was said, his tone solemn. “ _Wamplei kom thauz kodon._ ”3

Lexa nodded once. “Sit,” she said, and Wash took the chair next to Balta’s while Ferris and Blis sat down to Atlan’s right. She pushed what was left of the bread and meat closer to the newcomers and Blis and Wash gratefully piled the remnants of the meat onto what was left of the bread. Ferris did not partake, and Lexa approved, that he preferred to allow his exhausted scout to eat first, before he did.

Balta reappeared and took her seat.

“Did Danyel or Mykal say anything?” Lexa asked after Wash had finished chewing and swallowed. “Did either name anyone?”

“Mykal tried to blame Danyel. And Nia.”

Lexa leaned forward, intent. “Explain.”

“He claimed that Danyel asked Nia for something that would cause grievous harm in the tower. Nia then asked Emerson, who supplied bombs to her. She, in turn, gave them to Danyel, but Mykal claimed that he didn’t know what they were, and just followed Danyel’s instructions.” He finished the bread and meat.

“And Danyel?”

“He said nothing, but I was not in his presence before the sentence was carried out. It’s possible he said something to those in close attendance.”

She leaned back. Relatives would have attended to both Danyel and Mykal, and since they were also related to each other, the attendees would probably be the same for both. Danyel might not have said anything to family. Or he may have, to spite someone like Hamza or any others who had supported him.

“Did you get the impression that Danyel might have revealed something before punishment?” Atlan asked.

Wash finished the bread and meat. “No, but that doesn’t mean it did not happen. If he revealed anything, it might have been to someone he trusted.”

Who in turn might not say or do anything to bring suspicion to them.

Atlan looked at Blis. “What did you observe?”

“Once they were brought out for punishment, neither said anything,” she said. “But Wash is right. They may have said something before they were brought out. We won’t know because they were sequestered.”

In accordance with custom. Lexa frowned as she watched Blis finish her bread and meat.

“But,” Blis said, “One can still learn things, if one observes. From what I saw, the family members did not seem supportive of either of them, and neither did others. So if either had allies among their people, they did not readily make themselves known.”

“What of Izik?” Ferris asked, his voice a soothing, sonorous rumble.

“He kept his distance,” Wash said, “and it seemed that his people were not pleased with that approach. Several _Delfikru_ warriors spoke of it to each other and I heard a few of the conversations.

“As did I,” Blis said.

“Perhaps the warriors wanted you to hear,” Atlan said, “that you would share their words with _Heda_.”

“That seems most likely,” Ferris said, “given what I saw while Izik was here. There is discontent with his leadership.”

“Or perhaps that is what he wishes you to think,” Atlan countered.

“I don’t think so.”

Lexa turned her gaze to Wash.

“I think they wanted Izik to hear, as well. A few spoke of him in unflattering terms when he was clearly close enough to be aware of what they said.”

“Is there enough support to remove him from leadership?” Lexa asked.

“I don’t know, but there is clearly dissatisfaction.”

“Although there is much support for Freya,” Blis said.

Lexa regarded her. “What indicated this to you?”

“Mood. And relief that someone they trusted was working with the _kongeda_. From what I could tell, there was not much trust for Danyel.”

Interesting. Lexa absorbed that for a few moments.

Ferris interrupted her thoughts. “It would seem, _Heda_ , that Danyel has long been a problem for _Delfikru_.”

“Perhaps Mykal is intrinsic to that,” Balta said. “He spread much poison, we have heard, through his words and actions.”

“If his _kru_ was already displeased with Izik, Mykal was merely a symptom rather than a cause.” Lexa sat back, hands on the armrests of her chair.

“Does Izik have support?” Atlan asked, directing the question to Wash then Blis.

“ _Sha_ , but not as much as Freya and Liyon,” Blis said.

Wash nodded. “That is what I determined, as well. They have a majority of support.”

“Then it seems we need to discover what the root of this displeasure with Izik is,” Lexa said. “And perhaps we can use it.” Or guide it in such a way that it might help create a path to stronger leadership. “Did Izik at least fulfill his duties during the executions?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Wash said. “But when one is an unpopular leader, one is viewed as an imposter. There is nothing Izik could do at this point to salvage his reputation.”

“Except step down,” Blis said. “And even that would just bring relief and not necessarily respect.”

“But we must consider the continued stability of _Delfikru_.” Atlan’s brow furrowed. “It is not wise to lose a leader without another ready to step in.”

Silently, Lexa agreed. “Freya may reveal more to us,” she said.

A knock sounded and a guard leaned in. “ _Heda_ , _dina_.” 4

“ _Mochof_.”

Two servants entered, one carrying a tray that bore two more platters of bread, meat, and cheese while the other had two pitchers, plates, and cups on his tray. Two guards followed them in and served as tasters.

“Tell me of your journey,” Lexa said, changing the subject while the guards were in the room. “Did you see anything that might require attention?”

Wash shook his head. “No, _Heda_. Merchants and hunters. I must admit, it was strange to come upon people who greeted us with smiles and wished to share news rather than suspicion. It is as if, after days and days of rain, we finally see the sun.” He grinned. “News of your deeds has traveled faster than we anticipated. And many among _Delfikru_ seemed pleased about the festival and pleased with you as _Heda_.”

“Wash speaks true. I heard the same. Along with talk of _Wanheda_ and _Skaikru_ defeating _Maun-de_ down again. They seemed cautious about _Skaikru_ , but pleased.”

That was heartening. “And the _kongeda_?”

“Many support without reservation,” Wash said.

That, too, was good news. Balta caught Lexa’s eye and Lexa nodded at the guards, who left. Wash immediately sliced more bread and cheese and he and Blis piled that and meat onto their plates while Balta poured tea for them and Ferris.

“Titus will want to know all that happened,” Lexa said. “But please know that if there is anything—no matter how small it may seem—that you think I should know, alert me.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Blis and Wash said together. While they ate, Lexa spoke with Atlan, Ferris, and Balta about preparations for the festival and when Wash and Blis had finished, she dismissed them to clean up and rest. When they left, she looked at Ferris, who was finally eating.

“ _Delfikru_ often trades with _Trishana_. What have you heard?”

“Rumblings, _Heda_. Whispers of worry. Nothing certain, but one doesn’t need words to tell a story.” He sighed and sat back. “We have all had our concerns about Danyel. And perhaps Hamza. And there have been rumors among _Trishana_ warriors about Izik’s poor leadership, but there were also voices of support.” He shrugged. “Every leader has detractors. But it seems this is much deeper than that.”

“I want to know if Hamza played any role in these plots.” She looked pointedly at Atlan then Balta. “And I want to know about those who oppose Izik. I want to know who they are drawn to for leadership.” That would give her an idea of who to cultivate as a possible ally should Izik be forced out.

Atlan nodded. “Is there a contact among _Delfikru_ who would be able to help in that regard?”

“Not yet. But there soon will be.” Titus was already cultivating one of the warriors Mykal had accused of plotting against her. “For now, let us see what we can learn from Freya.” And Hamza. If he had known on any kind of level what Danyel was plotting, they might be able to use that to pressure him into allyship. She pushed back from the table. “And now I must take my leave and attend to other matters.” The most immediate being the Novitiates.

The three all stood before she did.

“We have festivities to plan,” Balta said with a smile. “I will see you later, _Heda_.”

The others standing around the table gave her respectful nods and murmured “ _Heda_.” Lexa nodded back and left, four guards falling into step with her in the corridor as she walked to the lift. She hadn’t had much time to work with the Novitiates over the past few weeks and she knew there would be many questions from them today.

What would it mean, she wondered, if the Commander was not required to kill all in the Conclave prior to Ascension and instead merely defeat them? What if the Novitiate who Ascended was able to draw on the other Novitiates he or she had lived, worked, and trained with as advisors? And possible leadership during times of crisis?

Would that not provide a stronger resource for all?

Or would it somehow dilute the mystery of _Sheidjus_?

The lift stopped at one of the higher floors and she stepped off, pondering that and also wishing, again, that Clarke was back from Arkadia. Love might not be weakness, but it most certainly was distracting. And tonight she would speak with Clarke via radio again, which only fed her longing. But she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lexa straightened as she and her guards approached the entrance to the Novitiates’ chamber, and just like that, she slipped into yet another role as _Heda_. Tomorrow, hopefully, she could engage more of Lexa, when Clarke arrived.

 

1 _Sen em op in_ : Send her in  
2 _Wash ste hir_ , _kom Ferris en em fossopa_ : Wash is here, with Ferris and his scout.  
3 _Wamplei kom thauz kodon_ : Death by a Thousand Cuts  
4 _dina_ : food [you’ve seen this one]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a decision, y'all. There'll be 75 chapters. I like that as a nice number, and this chapter and the next revealed some cool stuff to wrap up in 75.
> 
> Anyway...what'd you think of Atlan and Balta? I kind of like the pairing. It took me by surprise, but it felt right. And omg how about Clarke's talk with O about Grounder bonding ceremonies...? HMMMMMMMMMM. Let's see where that goes, yes?
> 
> I love that a bunch of you joined me on this journey. So honored. Thank you. Thank you for all the kudos and comments and you can totally bother me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com)
> 
> Tunes that pushed me along in this chapter: Makaw, "This Is Our City"; vverevvolf, "Cruel Games"; Susto, "Jah Werx"


	74. To Polis Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke returns to Polis and omg she and Lexa are srsly thirsty for each other which of course ends up in a smut-ish interlude. Because Clexa.

“Got everything?”

Clarke looked up at Kane, who stood in her doorway. “I think so. Has Jackson figured anything else out about the poison Nia tried to use?”

“No. He’s run every test he can think of and so far come up with no evidence that the stuff is poisonous. He’s going to try a few more things with Raven, but for now, we’re in a holding pattern on that.”

Clarke finished putting clothing into her pack. “Maybe it’s not poison at all. Maybe Emerson just gave it to Nia to get her off his back. Or just to use her.”

Kane shrugged. “There’s a possibility that whatever’s in there could cause a reaction when it hits water.”

Clarke stared at him. “Has Sinclair tried that?”

“I don’t think so. I suggested it, so he’s holding off if that’s the case. He’d prefer Abby were here—”

“Sinclair and Raven can work with him on that. If it has an explosive effect, they’ll know what it might be.”

“Way ahead of you, Griffy,” Raven said suddenly as she squeezed past Kane to enter Clarke’s room. “Sinclair and I are checking a few things and then we’ll take some away from Arkadia and mix it with a few substances, see what happens.”

“Please be careful.”

“In this case, yes. Totally. What we do know is it’s not water, which indicates that maybe it does have some kind of reaction with anything water-based. We’ll figure it out.” She took something out of her pocket. “Here. Batteries for Lexa and your mom. Your radio should be good for a while. I just checked it.” She took a radio out of her other pocket.

“Are you sure you don’t want this here?” Clarke asked, looking first at the radio then at Raven. “Don’t you need it?”

“We have quite a few floating around and since you tend to get into more trouble than the rest of us…” she trailed off and rolled her eyes.

Kane smiled. “She has a point. Take the radio. I’d rather you had one than didn’t.”

“All right.” Clarke took it and put it in her pack.

“You are, after all, the _Skaikru_ rep. I’d like to think we can contact you," Kane said.

“I’ll be back,” Clarke said as she put the batteries in her pack, too.

“Uh-huh,” Raven said and Clarke gave her a look. “What? Lexa might need you there. For _official_ business.”

Clarke gave her a warning glare then glanced at Kane, who fortunately had leaned out into the corridor to talk with someone who had been walking past.

“And I’m guessing you won’t say no if she does,” Raven added in a low, teasing voice.

“Stop. And aren’t you coming to Polis for the festival?”

Fortunately, she followed the deflection. “Yeah. I think there’ll be at least five of us, but Kane said no more than ten. He’s going to stick around here and oversee the party on this end. Which I’m sure will be amazing, but I’m looking forward to going back to Polis. I do get why you like it there.”

She looked at her, waiting for the Lexa punchline, but it didn’t come.

“I hope we can get Arkadia better established,” Raven added. “And get some horses. Maybe find more cars to get running.”

“You need gas for that.” Clarke picked up her pack and slung it over her shoulder.

“Sinclair and I will do major science and figure out how to get them to run without it.” She grinned and Clarke laughed.

“Good luck. I’m looking forward to that.” She regarded Raven for a moment. “You good?”

“Yeah. I guess I’m gonna miss you, though.”

“I won’t tell anyone about this sentimental side of you. And you’ll see me in a week or so.”

“I know.”

Clarke pulled her into a hug. “I’ll catch you on the radio.”

“Yeah. Be safe.” Raven stepped back and smiled again, then looked at the doorway. Kane was still talking to people in the corridor. “Listen, Griff. I know I’ve been teasing the hell out of you about Lexa, but…good luck. I hope it works.”

Clarke stared at her. “What—”

“Clarke? Ready?” Kane leaned in.

“Yeah.” She held Raven’s gaze a moment longer, wondering how much she knew, then stepped into the corridor and waited for Raven to join them. Once she did, Clarke shut the door and walked with Kane outside, Raven chatting with him as they headed toward the gates. Late morning sun slanted through a break in the clouds overhead and Clarke guessed that a change in the seasons was upon them because the air felt and smelled different. Crisp, and less damp. She breathed deep, never tiring of the way it felt and smelled after all her years on the Ark.

“Hey.”

Clarke slowed as Bellamy approached.

“Got a minute?” he asked and Clarke tensed but stopped.

“We’ll see you in a bit,” Kane said. Raven gave her a sympathetic look but Clarke waved at her to follow Kane then turned to look at Bellamy.

“What’s up?” she asked, keeping her tone light.

“You weren’t going to say goodbye?”

She sighed. Seriously? Why did he always fall into this pattern with her? “You were on patrol this morning. I came by the shop an hour ago and they said you weren’t back. I told Miller to tell you I had come by. It’s not my fault if he didn’t find you to tell you that.”

His jaw muscles clenched and he scowled, the one he used when he was wrong but didn’t want to admit it.

“Look, I’m not going to soothe your damn ego, Bell. You haven’t made much effort to talk to me, either, this trip and the last time you did, you pretty much accused me of not having the best interests of _Skaikru_ at heart. That’s crap and you know it. So if you can’t deal with me trying to work some political networks here, then it’s on you.” She started to walk away.

“Wait.”

She stopped. “Go ahead. I’ll hear you out and if you can’t get past whatever the hell is bothering you, then I don’t need to spend any more time trying to figure out how to make you feel better. Which isn’t, by the way, my responsibility, especially if I don’t know what your issue is.” As irritated as she was, it felt good to verbalize her feelings.

“Fine. I’m sorry.”

“For what, exactly?”

He hesitated, confused.

She sighed again. “If you don’t even know what you’re sorry for, then there’s no point to an apology.” She shook her head. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, you’re right.”

She waited, keeping her mouth shut so she didn’t say anything she’d regret.

“I shouldn’t have questioned you.”

“Fucking hell, Bellamy. That’s not the issue. I expect to get questioned. But there’s a difference between doing that and berating me constantly about every decision I make. You haven’t let up about the _kongeda_ or Lexa since I came back to Arkadia.” She lowered her voice as someone walked past them within earshot. “I’d almost think you were jealous of Lexa,” she snapped.

“Why? Should I be? What’s going on with you two?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I knew it,” he muttered.

“Knew what? What are you talking about? She’s the fucking Commander of the clans. She oversees the _kongeda_. I have to work with her, and it’s a damn good idea to do it, because we’re the newbies on the ground and there’s a lot we don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, we’re the ones who took the mountain down. She didn’t do that. And she screwed us all over the first time.” He had dropped his voice, too.

“So all the help she gave us when Nia was trying to force us into a war with _Trikru_ doesn’t mean anything? Or the help she gave us at the mountain? Or helping find me and take Nia down? That’s…nothing?”

He stepped back, hands on his hips, and stared at the sky for a moment. “Okay, maybe I am a little jealous. Because it seems like you sure replaced all of _us_ pretty easily with _her_.”

She remembered what Octavia had said a couple days before, about why Bellamy might feel the way he did. “Replaced? What are you talking about? I’m the _Skaikru_ representative to the _kongeda_. I have to work with Lexa and the clan council in addition to working with all of us.” She put extra emphasis on the last part. “And I’m sorry that I can’t devote every waking minute to you, but this is how things are. And if you’d get over whatever the hell is bothering you, I could use your help, because we make a pretty good team, for the most part. But right now, I don’t even want to be around you. So when you’re ready to tell me what exactly the problem is, let me know.” She started walking again, anger filling her throat.

“So that’s it?” he rasped as he caught up to her.

She turned on him, and it was an effort to keep her voice down. “I don’t know what else to say or what your issue is and I’m not going to make the time to figure it out. That’s not my responsibility. If you want to have an adult conversation about this, then do it. But I’m done trying to guess what exactly your problem is and I’m tired of treading lightly around you because you won’t just fucking say what your issue is. I don’t have time for this passive aggressive crap. There’s too much at stake.” She stepped closer and nailed him with her gaze. “So if you want to be part of helping me—helping all of us—build a new future on the ground, you need to stop piling your crap on me. If I’ve done something to you, then fucking tell me. If you won’t, then get over yourself and get busy. Am I clear?”

He took a step back, visibly shocked and maybe chagrined. She waited for him to say something. When he didn’t, she continued to the gate, relieved when Gina approached. “Hey—” she started then stopped. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Gina looked over Clarke’s shoulder and sighed. “What did he do?”

“The usual.”

Gina squeezed her shoulder in support. “Don’t worry about it.”

“He frustrates the hell out of me.”

“He does that. It’s kind of his thing. Unfortunately.”

“Well, I don’t have time for it.”

“No, you don’t. So go back to Polis and deal with mature leaders like Lexa.” She smiled. “We’ll keep him in line on this end. And we’ll keep an eye on other matters, too.”

She relaxed a little. “Thanks.”

“You ready, Griff?” Harper came over, Monty close behind.

“Yeah. Will I see you in Polis for the celebration?”

“We’re not sure yet who’s going,” Monty said. “But one of us will let you know in the next few days.”

Raven pushed past him and gave her a hug. “See you soon.”

“Wow. Two hugs in one day?”

“Shut up.” She smiled and stepped back and Clarke saw Lora approaching with Jasper.

“Hey,” Lora said. “I haven’t had a chance to talk much to you since we left Polis.”

“It’s okay. I’ll see you later. Everything okay?”

Lora smiled. “Yes. Thanks again. And thank Lexa, too.”

Clarke nodded. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Definitely.”

She turned to Jasper. “See you later, too.”

“Yeah,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Be careful out there. It’s a pain in the ass to have to save you all the time.”

She rolled her eyes and he stepped away and Lora slid her hand into his before they walked away. Clarke gaped for a moment.

“I know, right?” Michi said and Clarke looked at her. She no longer wore the arm sling. “They’re pretty gross together,” Michi added. “All kinds of googly eyes and shit.”

“When did—”

Michi shrugged. “Polis. Whatever. Enough about them. Just wanted to see you off.”

“I’ll be back.”

“I know. But I wanted to say thanks, too. You and Lexa both.”

She smiled. “I’ll let her know.”

And then Michi hugged her and Clarke stiffened for a moment, shocked before she carefully hugged her back, mindful of her shoulder.

“Be safe, okay?” Michi said as she pulled away.

“You, too.”

Others moved toward her to say their goodbyes. Kane gave her a hug then walked with her to the gates, where Tam and Mora stood with their horses, both dressed in their riding leathers. Hart and Jo were already mounted on their horses, ready to go.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Kane said to them, “for accompanying Clarke here and taking her back to Polis.”

Tam nodded. “ _Sha_ , _Markus kom Skaikru_. It is our honor.”

“I’m glad you’ve got company,” he said to Clarke.

“Yeah.” So was Lexa, she knew, and the thought of seeing her that evening left her a little nervous with anticipation, though it hadn’t been that long. It felt, though, longer, and even the brief radio chats they had weren’t enough, would never be enough, even when each of them had privacy to banter and flirt a little back and forth. Clarke needed much more, and it continued to amaze her how much she did, and that the longer she knew Lexa, the more she wanted.

“Are you ready, _Klark kom Skaikru_?” Tam asked.

“ _Sha_.”

She nodded and mounted then reached down and took Clarke’s hand, helping swing her into place behind her on the horse. Clarke settled and gripped Tam’s belt.

“Talk to you soon,” Kane said as the gates opened and Clarke waved as the riders nudged their horses forward out of Arkadia. She watched as the gates closed, then adjusted her position on the horse. She’d be sore at the end of this ride, even with the thick blanket between her and the horse. Her knee was greatly improved, though, and the bruises on her side were on their way to healed, as was the one on her jaw, their colors fading every day.

Tam urged the horse a little faster and Clarke had to adjust her hold on her belt.

“It is best if you put your arms around my waist,” Tam said. “We will travel a little faster going back than we did on the way to Arkadia.”

Clarke hesitated.

“ _Heda_ would understand,” Tam said and even though Clarke couldn’t see her face, she heard the teasing in her tone and she flushed but did as suggested and once she had, Tam nudged her horse into greater speed and Clarke was glad she had adjusted her hold, as it provided more stability.

She wished, though, that it was Lexa she was holding onto, and she thought about falling asleep in her arms on her first ride to Polis. She hadn’t even fought to stay awake, couldn’t even drag the past up through her exhaustion. Instead, the last thing she thought about before she fell asleep on that ride was Lexa tending her wounds beneath the tree in the clearing, her fingers gentle on her cheek as she wiped the blood from her mouth, concern in her eyes. Those damn eyes the color of the forests that Lexa called home, their depths both an invitation and a warning. But so filled with worry that day in the clearing, and she hadn’t bothered to mask it.

So not what Clarke had expected in the aftermath of the mountain. Her anger battled with relief and for a while, relief won. And she remembered the warmth of Lexa’s body behind hers, something she had felt even through the coat she was wrapped in. Lexa’s coat. And Lexa’s voice, soft near her ear, asking for permission to hold her steady on the horse. So like Lexa to do that—to ask for her approval—even imbued with the power that the Commander’s position granted.

And though sitting up on the back of that horse while stiff, sore, and wounded both physically and emotionally should have been a trial, she had dropped easily into sleep, unaccosted by the ghosts that had been constant companions for weeks. Surrounded by Lexa’s warmth and the hints of spice Clarke remembered of her from their earlier interactions, she slept better on that horse in her arms than she had, it seemed, since she left the mountain.

Tam’s horse jerked to the left, and Clarke’s jaw hit her shoulder. She winced.

“ _Yu ste ait_?” Came Tam’s inquiry.

“ _Sha_.” Clarke sat up a little straighter and focused more on the motion of the horse as the pain in her jaw subsided. Mora rode in front and the two other warriors stayed single file behind. Clarke guessed they followed game trails since the path was relatively clear of heavy brush and trees, and she hung on, making sure her chin stayed clear of Tam’s back.

Eventually the path widened so that two could ride abreast. Clarke guessed it was past midday, by the sunlight that had burned through much of the cloud cover. It glanced off leaves that had gone yellow and red and she was caught up in the explosion of color that the change of seasons brought to the ground.

Tam’s horse slowed and Clarke sat up a little straighter to look over her shoulder past the horse’s head. A man and a woman with a wagon piled high that was covered with cloth. They had pulled it as close to the side of the path—which might have been a road at some point—as they could get without moving into the forest. When the woman turned, Clarke saw that she had a baby swaddled against her chest.

“ _Heya_ , _sela kom Trishana_ ,”5 Tam said and she put one of her hands on her bow, which was fastened to the horse in front of her. “ _Weron gyon yo au_?”

“ _Heya_ , _plangona kom Trikru_ ,” the man said. He looked to be nearing thirty, maybe, his dark hair braided in a style Clarke didn’t recognize but that must be _Trishana_. He had no face tattoos or scars. The woman with him reminded Clarke a little of Niylah in facial structure. She, too, had dark braided hair and lacked face markings.

“ _Osir gyon gon Polis au_.” He raised part of the cloth off his wagon and Clarke caught a glimpse of what looked like root vegetables. “ _Oso bro seintaim sela_. _Em laik kom nau raun Polis_. 6

“Have you seen any others on this road?” Tam asked.

“Only other merchants, _plangona_ ,” he said, and then smiled. “We also seek to honor _Heda_ , for what she has done. There are many on this road who seek to do the same. We heard news, as well, that _Azgeda_ seeks entrance into the _kongeda_ under _haihefa_ Roan. Is this true?”

“It is,” Tam said, and her horse stamped and snorted, as if to emphasize that point. “Soon.”

“This is indeed good news. Roan is much like his father, and I remember those days. A good man and a wise leader.” He nodded, satisfied. “You are _gona kom Trikru_ , yes? Can I offer you some of our meats?” He started to raise the cloth again but Tam stopped him.

“ _Mochof_ , _sela_. Save your wares for profit for you and your family.”

He nodded and arranged the cloth back over his wagon.

“ _Gouthru klir_ , _sela_ ,” Tam said and she nudged her horse forward.

As they passed, the woman spoke. “ _Hod op_. _Beja_.”

Tam stopped and the woman approached. “ _Em laik Wanheda_?” she asked Clarke, dark eyes boring into hers.

Clarke felt Tam tense but she put her hand on her shoulder. “ _Sha_. _En yu_?”

The woman smiled. “ _Ai laik Lissa kom Trishana_. _Den yu_ , _ai nomfa na nowe fir Maun-de in_.” She motioned at the child. “ _Mochof_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_.” 7

“ _Pro_ ,” Clarke said. “ _Ba tona don sis ai op_. _Heda don sis ai op_. _Dison gona hir_. _En kongedakru_.” 8 She gestured, to encompass Tam, Mora, and Hart and Jo, who exchanged a look of approval with each other.

“When _Heda_ sent word to all the clans about what happened at _Maun-de_ , she said you are humble and that you honor others.” Lissa smiled again. “I will tell my son when he is older about _Wanheda_ and how she brought the end to the _Maunon_ , who plagued us for many years. And I will tell him that _Wanheda_ worked with many people to do it, and that she and _Heda_ sought to bring much good to the world.”

Clarke’s throat tightened and she nodded. “I’m glad that your son will never have to fear the mountain. I’m glad none of us have to, any longer.”

Lissa nodded at her and the man with her smiled.

Tam gave them another nod and Clarke gripped her waist again as they started moving.

“Things are changing,” Tam said after a while, throwing a glance over her shoulder at her. “And I know that _Heda_ has set much of it in motion but you have, too. I think perhaps you and _Heda_ are forged from the same spirit, and it is very fortunate that you have found each other.”

“How so?”

“Because though apart you are both strong, together, you are even stronger.”

Clarke wasn’t sure how to respond, so she didn’t and instead thought about the ways Lexa made her feel more like herself, how she had always supported her, even when the mountain seemed insurmountable between them.

Tam said nothing further and they stayed on the road, so Clarke put her hands on her shoulders, instead. As the sun’s rays slanted more toward late afternoon, they passed more travelers, most traders and merchants who waved and shouted greetings as they passed. Clarke waved back and some may have recognized her because she thought she heard shouts of “ _Wanheda_ ” as they passed. Mora caught her eye at one point and grinned and pointed at her. The other guards smiled, too, and she was struck by the lightness of their moods, buoyed by the other travelers.

“You see?” Tam said after they had passed another group that cheered and waved. “Change.” She slowed the horse as they approached another group of people walking the road and Clarke realized they must be getting closer to Polis.

“They’re glad that _Heda_ defeated Nia,” she said.

“Yes, but they are also glad that there is no _Maun-de_. You do not realize the terrible price we have paid, or the number of loved ones we lost over the years to them. We were never safe. Never traveling alone. Not allowing children to venture too far. They had guns. And the fog that kills. _Heda_ tried to unite the clans as soon as she Ascended, because she knew that together, we might be able to defeat the _Maunon_. Or at least make it much harder for them to take us.”

Clarke clenched her teeth, thinking about Lincoln and what the mountain did to him. And so many others. People caged and harvested, their blood drained and their barely living bodies thrown to Reapers, themselves a twisted and corrupted version of Grounders who consumed their own people. And then they captured her people, and brutalized in a similar fashion.

But even among the _Maunon_ there was good. There were those who tried to help, who kept her people alive, who knew what was happening among them was wrong. But she sacrificed them, too, that her people and Lexa’s could live.

“You will not find anyone among the clans who didn’t lose someone to _Maun-de_ ,” Tam said. “No one among us is unscathed.”

“Us, either,” Clarke said softly, but the immensity of the loss the clans had suffered over the years to the mountain crystallized, as they rode past another group that waved and chanted _“Wanheda_ ” and “ _Heda_.” They had to slow the horses to a walk because of the number of people on the road, and Tam and Mora chatted with some of the people, all of whom made way for their horses. Others, when they realized who Clarke was, reached up to touch her hand and Clarke obliged, smiling and greeting them.

The forest thinned and she saw the wall of Polis ahead and to her right, maybe a quarter-mile distant. Her heart sped up at how close she was, and how soon it would be before she saw Lexa again. She ached for her touch, for her lips against her skin, for her voice, low and husky as she teased, for the slide of her bare limbs on hers, and the sweat that collected between them. And she ached just to be near, to watch her in all the roles she occupied, to see her strength and authority and the way she laughed with children and to catch glimpses of her many layers in the depths of her eyes and trace the hint of that damn smile as it played at the corners of her mouth.

And the closer they got to the city gates, the better she felt, as a warm familiarity settled within. She was more comfortable here than she had ever been on the Ark, and more comfortable than she was at Arkadia. A few months ago she might have thought that strange, and fought it. Now she welcomed it, and smiled and offered greetings and words of support to people she hadn’t been born among but who seemed to accept her as part of their story. Maybe not quite one of their own, yet, but for now, it was enough.

They passed through the gates and Tam waved at the guards who grinned and waved back. Clarke let go of her since they had slowed down quite a bit. Mora, Hart, and Jo pressed closer, which allowed them to move through the throngs of people like a ship might through water, though it was still slow going.

All around them was the buzz of celebration and more of that lightness of mood she’d been sensing, even among _Skaikru_. She saw several people carrying long poles and boards and she thought she heard hammering. Festival preparations, she guessed.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” some people shouted as they passed and Clarke waved back, embarrassed at the attention but appreciating the mood. They neared the tower and she scanned the thinning crowds, looking for a familiar black-clad figure, but she was disappointed. Besides, Lexa was probably inside attending to the seemingly never-ending business of the Commander.

Tam reined her horse to a stop at the tower entrance.

“ _Heya_ ,” one of the guards there said. “It is good to see you all.”

“ _Heya_. Where is _Heda_?” Mora asked.

“Guard house. Shall I fetch her?”

“No. We’ll go there.” Tam dismounted, a signal to Mora and the other warriors, who did the same. Hart stretched his arms for a few seconds then helped Clarke, who made sure to keep her weight on her good leg when she slid off the horse. And yep, she would be sore later.

“ _Yu ste ait_?” Hart asked as he steadied her. He didn’t wear a beard, but he did have an impressive mustache that moved when he smiled.

“ _Sha_. _Mochof_.”

He nodded and went to retrieve his pack from his horse. Jo was doing the same with hers.

Clarke stamped her feet a little. She didn’t ride much, and it engaged muscles that weren’t accustomed to being used in such a way, so her thighs were sore. Her knee seemed all right, and only twinged a little when she walked.

Tam handed the reins of her horse to the guard and he took Mora’s reins, too, and started walking the horses toward the stables. Another guard took the other horses and the two warriors walked behind Mora, Tam, and Clarke as they headed to the guard house across the open plaza area, Clarke working on keeping her emotions under control. But oh, it was going to be hard.

And the closer they got, the harder she knew it would be.

As they approached, she saw several people working on a skeletal wooden rectangular structure near the guard house, set at a right angle to it. Long planks of wood were stacked near it, and it had no roof, but its walls were up and it would be an easy matter to use cloth and burlap to create a frame tent. Three people were engaged in positioning a tall center pole. For a temporary building, it looked pretty sturdy. Clarke estimated that it was about fifty by twenty feet, and maybe eight feet tall. The pole in the middle would probably serve as a place to anchor tarps or oilskin or something similar.

“It appears we are preparing for some kind of festival,” Mora said with a smile and Tam laughed.

“Are you sure?” she said with an answering smile. “Perhaps we should ask _Heda_ whether there is something like that in the future.”

Hart and Jo chuckled but Clarke was too wound up to join in. She scanned the vicinity, hoping she wasn’t being obvious. Lexa was probably inside talking with Indra, a thought that seemed to occur to Tam, as well, because she angled their path toward the guard house entrance. They were almost there when Clarke spotted a group of four young children between the new structure and the guard house about thirty paces away. They were working with a woman dressed in dark trousers and a light-colored shirt, her sleeves rolled up past her elbows, her dark hair pulled away from her face with all-too familiar braids. And though she wore no facepaint, Clarke knew exactly who she was, even bent over as she spoke with a small boy who was tying a knot in a piece of rope that was clearly serving to lash one pole to another.

Clarke stopped so suddenly that Hart and Jo almost ran directly into her. She muttered an apology and watched as Lexa coached the boy with the knot. The other children leaned in, attentive, and Lexa said something that made them all laugh and Clarke’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest at the sight.

“ _Heda_ ,” a man said near Clarke as he walked past with another length of rope. Lexa made sure the boy’s knot was satisfactory before she turned to the man.

“Come,” Tam said to Clarke, and she took Clarke’s pack from her and started toward Lexa and the group of children.

“Wait. Let her finish the lesson.”

Tam’s eyes seemed to spark with amusement. “Very well.” She stood next to her while Mora stood nearby, chatting with a small group of warriors.

Lexa showed the rope to the children and had them all squeeze it then measure it against another piece that Lexa had hanging off her belt. She cut the rope for them and handed a piece to each child.

Clarke stared, entranced at this aspect of the Commander, the teacher and mentor utterly comfortable spending time with children and a bit of rope. And then Lexa straightened again and directed the children to the next pole to practice their lashing and knots. She threw a glance toward the guard house as if she was looking for something then turned back when one of the children spoke. Lexa responded then looked up again, searching, and her gaze found Clarke’s a moment later and a tide of warmth cascaded through Clarke’s body.

Lexa stared, unmoving, until Clarke broke the tableau and walked toward her and Lexa smiled in a way that made Clarke want to run and throw herself into her arms, even in front of all these people.

Lexa didn’t wait for her. She strode toward her, still smiling.

“ _Heda_ ,” Clarke said with her own smile when they were a few paces apart. “It’s good to see you.” Her voice sounded steady, much to her relief. She could still be professional around Lexa, though it might have been easier to walk to the Dead Zone and back.

And then Lexa’s smile widened into a grin and before Clarke could process what was happening, Lexa pulled her into a fierce hug and Clarke automatically responded, her body completely overriding her brain, because what else was she supposed to do? When Lexa’s arms were around her, when she was pressed hard against her, when she was still smiling and Clarke could feel it against her neck? What else was she supposed to do except hold her close and melt against her?

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered, her breath warm against her ear, and the familiar and arousing scent of spice and forest surrounded her, and the sound of her name on Lexa’s lips sent a current down her back. “You are well?”

“ _Sha_ ,” she said, heart overflowing.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” And then she caught herself because she had almost kissed her. Out here in the open, with all kinds of people around. She bit her lip and loosened her hold.

Lexa stepped back, expression sheepish and so adorable that Clarke started to reach up to cup her face. She caught herself again and quickly lowered her hand.

“Sorry,” Clarke said. “Instinct.”

Lexa grinned again, and in her eyes Clarke saw that she, too, wanted to do much more than circumstances would allow.

“ _Heda_ ,” Tam said, providing a distraction for them both. “It is good to see you.”

“ _En yu_. Are all well?”

“ _Sha_.”

Lexa looked past her. “ _Mochof_ , _Hart en Jo_.”

“ _Sha, Heda_ ,” they said together.

“Go and eat and rest. I will speak with you both later.”

They both nodded and turned to go.

“ _Hod op_ ,” Clarke said, and they paused. “ _Mochof_. I appreciate that you came.”

“We are pleased to serve _Wanheda_ and _Heda_ ,” Jo said, and they turned and started walking toward the guard house.

Lexa turned her attention to Tam. “I would see you, Mora, and Clarke after sundown. The small meeting room.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Tam said and Mora nodded.

Clarke took her pack from Tam. “ _Mochof_ , both of you.”

“Of course, _Wanheda_. It is our honor. We will see you later.”

“ _Otaim Heda_ ,” Clarke teased as Mora and Tam walked away.

Lexa held her gaze and that visceral warmth that always came when she looked at her filled Clarke’s chest. “We will speak of other things tonight.”

“You’re planning to talk? I had other ideas.” She smirked.

“Good. I do, as well.”

“ _Heda_ ,” a small boy shouted. “I did it.”

Clarke laughed. “Duty calls.”

“Come,” she said to Clarke. I know someone who would like to meet you.” She led her over to the boy who had been working on his knots. He beamed at her as she approached, his hair a touseled mass of dark curls.

“Let us see,” Lexa said and she inspected the knot. “Well done. You must practice so that you can do this without thinking about it, because you never know when you will need to tie a strong knot.”

He nodded, the look on his face pure adoration. Clarke didn’t blame him.

“And now, _strikon_ , I have someone here who I think you would like to meet.”

The boy looked past her at Clarke and stared. He had been so absorbed with his task that he hadn’t noticed her. His eyes widened and he looked at Lexa. “ _Dison laik Wanheda_?” he said, awed. The other children all stared at her, too.

“ _Sha_. _Em laik Wanheda_. Clarke, this is Nik, one of Val’s sons. He’s a great admirer of yours.” She winked and Clarke smiled at him.

“ _Heya_ , _Nik kom Trikru_. _Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“ _Wanheda_ ,” he said, nearly breathless, eyes practically bugging out of his head.

She laughed. “ _Sha_. _Tag ai Klark in_.” 9

Lexa introduced her to the other children, all of whom had parents in her guard.

“My mothers say you went to _Maun-de_ twice,” Nik said in English.

“I did. _Heda_ did, as well.”

“ _Heda_ says that no one can live in _Maun-de_ , now.”

“ _Heda_ speaks true,” Clarke said. “It flooded with water. There is nothing to fear there anymore, but we must always remember those we lost.”

He nodded, solemn. “Did you really come from the sky?”

The other children whispered with each other and Lexa shrugged. “I told him you did, but he needs to hear it from you.”

“Yes. _Skaikru_ lived far above you in a space station. Like a floating city that protected us from space. That far above the ground, there isn’t enough air to breathe.”

“You see?” Lexa said. “I spoke true.”

“ _Heda_ always speaks true,” Clarke said. “That is something I learned when I met her.”

The other children came closer. “How did you meet _Heda_?” a girl about seven asked.

Clarke looked at Lexa, who shrugged again, but she smiled, too. “When I came to the ground,” Clarke said, “I was with others and there was mistrust between my people and your people.”

“My father says there was fighting,” another boy said.

“There was.” Clarke spotted a stack of lumber nearby. “Come on,” she told the children and she led them to the lumber and sat down. “Sometimes,” Clarke said, “when people who don’t know each other meet, they don’t trust each other. And sometimes they do terrible things, because they’re afraid. Or they’re protecting their own people and villages. There was fighting and people got hurt. Some died. But in the end, we came together because we all realized that there was a greater threat than each other.”

“ _Maun-de_ ,” Nik said.

“ _Sha_. Back to your question.” She looked at the little girl. “I met _Heda_ because I knew she was the Commander, and that she was a great leader and I hoped that she would hear my plan to get both of our people out of _Maun-de_. So I went to her tent and I asked to speak with her.”

“ _Heda_ said you saved Lincoln from the Red,” one of the boys said.

“I helped. _Abi kom Skaikru_ is a healer, and she knew what to do.”

“Were you scared when you met _Heda_?” the little girl asked.

Lexa laughed. “Yes, Clarke. Were you?”

Clarke smiled and looked at the girl. “Do you think _Heda_ is scary?”

“No. She is brave. And strong. And she keeps us safe.”

“She is and she does. But I didn’t know her, then, so when I first met her, I thought she was a little scary, because she _is_ very strong and a great warrior and capable of many things.”

Lexa hid a smile behind her hand.

Nik moved closer and looked up at her. “ _Heda_ would never hurt you.”

“I appreciate that, Nik. But she might have, if she thought I was a threat.”

“You aren’t,” he said, adamant. “You helped us.”

She nodded. “I did. But you have to remember that _Heda_ and I didn’t know each other very well, and we had to learn to trust each other.”

The children went silent and looked at her, then Lexa, then back at Clarke.

“And now you trust _Heda_ ,” Nik said, emphatic, though there might have been a question buried in the statement.

“I do. Completely. I am honored that _Skaikru_ is part of the _kongeda_.”

Nik looked up at Lexa and in that way children had, promptly put her on the spot. “Do you trust Clarke?”

“Yes. She is also a great leader.” She caught Clarke’s gaze and smiled and Clarke wanted so badly to pull her in and kiss her that it was almost a physical pain.

“Are you a warrior?” one of the other boys asked Clarke.

“No.”

He frowned, puzzled.

“One doesn’t have to fight to be a warrior,” Lexa said. “Leaders don’t have to know how to fight,” Lexa said. “But they must be strong in many ways, and they must be wise. Clarke is a great leader because she is wise and strong in many ways. She knows her own mind and heart and she seeks to keep as many people safe as she can. That is why she came to me with her plan about _Maun-de_ , because she wanted to help both our peoples. She did not know me, but she knew _of_ me. It was brave of her to seek an audience with me because of all the mistrust our people had for each other. It was dangerous for her, because many among our people were very angry with her and her people.”

“Because of the fighting?” the girl asked.

“Yes. And because of those who had been hurt and those who died as a result of it. It is very painful to lose a loved one. Clarke understands this, and she did not wish for any more to be lost. That is why she came to me.”

“I’m glad,” Nik said. “Because now we can celebrate.”

Lexa was clearly fighting another smile and Clarke nodded. “Well, I’m glad, too, because I got to meet all of you.”

He stared at her in shy wonderment.

“I see Nik has met _Wanheda_ ,” Val said with a chuckle as she approached. “ _Mochof_ , Clarke, for indulging him and his friends.”

Clarke stood. “It’s my pleasure.”

“You are well?” Val asked as she touseled Nik’s hair. “The ride to Arkadia may not be very long on a horse, but it can be tiring.”

“Yes.” From a distance, Val could look like Lexa and if someone hadn’t met Lexa, Val could easily pass for her, with her hair color and even her eyes, which weren’t green, but could seem to be green.

“ _Heda_.” Another warrior joined them. “I am here to collect.” He beamed at the girl who had been asking questions. She laughed and ran into his arms. He picked her up and swung her around and she giggled.

“Very well. _Mochof_ for your help today,” Lexa told her when the warrior put her down. “Practice your knots.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She held the piece of rope up Lexa had given her and Lexa nodded.

“I will see you again, _strikon_.”

“ _Mochof_ , _Wanheda_ ,” the little girl said.

“I’m glad to meet you. I’ll see you again, I’m sure.”

“ _Wanheda_ ,” her father said. “Thank you for taking time with my daughter.”

“Of course. She asks good questions.”

He grinned. “She asks _many_ questions. I hope to see you again.”

“I’m sure you will.”

He took the little girl’s hand and as they walked away, Clarke could hear her talking excitedly about meeting _Wanheda_.

Lexa dismissed the other two boys, who both thanked Clarke, then took their pieces of rope and scampered toward the guard house.

“Nik, perhaps _Heda_ will bring _Wanheda_ to visit us,” Val said.

His eyes lit up and he looked at Lexa then Clarke.

“I will see what Clarke’s schedule is,” Lexa said. “But I’ll let Mama Val know.”

He grinned.

“Very well. We’ll take our leave,” Val said. “ _Mochof_ , _Heda_ , for spending time with him and the others today. He was so excited to do that.”

“Of course. Keep practicing your knots,” she said to him. “Warriors need to know many different things, and tying strong knots is one of them.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He looked up at Clarke. “I’m glad you met _Heda_.”

Val’s eyes widened and Lexa cleared her throat softly, the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.

“I am, too,” Clarke said. “And I’m glad I met you. I hope to see you soon.”

“Come,” Val said, and she took his hand. “Clarke is no doubt tired and needs to eat. As do you. _Mochof_ ,” she said to Clarke and Lexa, and led him away, but he kept looking back at Clarke.

“I know how he feels,” Lexa said as she watched him.

Clarke shouldered her pack. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t get enough of looking at you, either.”

She flushed and chuckled.

Lexa stepped closer and stared into her eyes. “There is nothing I’d like to do more right now than show you how much I missed you.” Her expression and words sent spikes of arousal down Clarke’s thighs.

“And there is nothing I’d like to do more right now than let you.”

Lexa’s eyes seemed to darken and she glanced at Clarke’s lips, then back at her eyes.

“I know,” Clarke said with a smirk. “Keep that thought.”

Lexa groaned softly. “ _Wanheda_ tempts me.”

Clarke leaned a little closer, as if sharing a secret. “ _Wanheda_ wants you. And when she makes up her mind about something, you know what that means.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and something gleamed within, something both predatory and deeply protective and it jolted, like an electrical current between Clarke’s thighs as heat flooded her veins.

“Definitely keep _that_ thought,” Clarke said. “And now, _Heda_ , I’m going to the tower. I’m sure the Chancellor will want to speak with me and you and I have a meeting soon with Tam and Mora.” Evening was approaching and she wanted to get cleaned up and eat, too, before then.

“I intend to keep this thought.”

“Good. Because I plan to act on it.”

Lexa cleared her throat and motioned at a nearby warrior. “Please accompany _Klark kom Skaikru_ to the tower.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” She joined them as they walked toward the guard house.

“Until later,” Lexa said, and she went left while Clarke and the warrior continued to the tower. She cast a glance back over her shoulder, and caught Lexa watching her and it aroused her further, especially after the exchange they’d just had. She smiled at her then directed her attention to the tower, preparing herself for a conversation with Abby, though somehow, knowing that Lexa had told her about their relationship made the prospect less daunting. Less to avoid talking about, maybe.

And once everything was done for the day—she smiled again. Lexa would find out how much she had missed her.

 

5 _Heya_ , _sela* kom Trishana_ … _Weron gyon yo au_? Hello, _Trishana_ merchant…Where are you (plural) going? [you’ve seen “sela” before; Peterson doesn’t seem to have a term for merchant, so I made one, derived from “seller/sell/sale”]  
6 _Osir gyon gon Polis au_ … _Oso bro seintaim sela_. _Em laik kom nau raun Polis_ : We’re going to Polis. Our brother is also a merchant. He’s already in Polis.”  
7 _Ai laik Lissa kom Trishana. Den yu_ , _ai nomfa na nowe fir Maun-de in_. _Mochof_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_ : I am Lissa of _Trishana_. Because of you, my son will never fear the mountain. Thank you, Clarke of the Sky People.  
8 _Pro_ … _Ba tona don sis ai op_ … _Heda don sis ai op_. _Dison gona hir_. _En kongedakru_ : You’re welcome…but many helped me [you’ve seen that construction before]. _Heda_ helped me. These warriors here. And the _kongeda_.  
9 _Sha_. _Tag ai Clarke in_ : Yes. Call me Clarke.

 

###

How did she do it? How was it possible that one woman could so easily disarm her with words and a smile? And how was it possible for one woman to consume her every thought, to make her ache with just a glance?

Lexa could have leaned over and touched Clarke, who sat to her right at the table in the conference room. She could have brushed her hair out of her face, let her fingers glide over the nape of her neck, and her mouth track the underside of her jaw, she was that close.

But Mora and Tam sat nearby, too, and Lexa forced herself to listen and engage, Commander façade in place. Clarke’s gaze was almost a physical sensation on her skin every time she looked at her, though her expression was always neutral and professional and Lexa wondered how she did that, too, after the things she had said earlier.

Fortunately, Mora and Tam had not heard or seen anything at Arkadia that was worrying, though Clarke noted that Jax was most likely going to be a problem, though she had some measures in place and she shot another glance at Lexa, this one indicating she would speak with her later about it. Lexa gave her the barest of nods of acknowledgement, knowing Clarke would see it and she wondered how it was that they could read each other so well. Like people who had been bonded for years.

She turned her attention back to Mora.

“ _Mochof_ , both of you, for accompanying Clarke,” she said smoothly. “Is there anything else?”

“No, _Heda_.”

“Then I will no doubt see you in the near future as we prepare not only for the festival, but for _Azgeda_ ’s entrance to the _kongeda_. And the finalization of _Skaikru_ ’s.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Lexa stood and the others followed suit. “I hope to see you later, Clarke,” Lexa said, keeping her tone pleasant. “Right now I have a few things to attend to.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said but the look she gave her shot right to her core. She turned and followed Tam and Mora into the corridor and Lexa waited a beat and left, too, opting for the stairs because she was burning with desire and needed to channel that energy so she could get through her meeting with Indra, Balta, and Titus, as painful as it was going to be, knowing that Clarke was in the tower and waiting to see her.

The meeting was as excruciating as she had predicted, but she focused, because even mundane things that Titus noticed might carry weight in the future. All the clans were going to provide warriors for security, much to her relief, and everything was in place for the _kongeda_ gathering and ceremony. When it ended, Titus slipped out and Indra regarded Lexa with a smirk.

“You seem a little impatient, _Heda_.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps we will run twice as far tomorrow.”

“I predict that such will not happen.”

“Oh?”

“Because you will most likely be too sore to do so.” And she gave her a positively wicked grin. “ _Reshop_ , _Heda_.” And she left before Lexa could retort.

Balta gave her an innocent look. “Do you require anything else tonight?” She asked. “Besides Clarke?”

Lexa stared at her for a beat then laughed.

“I have ensured that you not be disturbed tonight and tomorrow morning,” Balta said.

“And you?”

“ _Heda_?”

“Have you allowed yourself some time?”

“I will take some time,” she assured her.

“I hope so. And I think Atlan would appreciate it, as well.”

Balta stiffened and a blush tinged her cheeks. “ _Heda_ , I—”

“Stop.” Lexa raised a hand, as well, to emphasize her point. “I am pleased. Whatever comes of it, I have the utmost respect for you both and I know you will comport yourselves with such toward me and each other. And if you feel even half what I feel for Clarke, then it is a wonderful thing indeed.”

“I don’t know how it happened,” Balta said. “We’ve worked together for years, even before you Ascended. And then one day, during the time we were trying to find Clarke…something was different.”

“You know each other, and you have worked together. Sometimes that proves a strong foundation for more than friendship. I hope she brings you happiness.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Balta said and from her expression, what she was feeling for Atlan involved more than simply sex. She could relate. Oh, how she could relate. “ _Heda_.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Forgive me for prying, but have you considered a bonding with Clarke?”

Lexa froze.

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_. That was too personal.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Lexa paused, thinking about how to address her question. “You’ve seen me at my worst. You know more about me than most. And if I knew how to go about initiating a bonding with Clarke, I would.”

“I am so very happy for you.”

She sighed and offered a smile. “But I want Clarke to know her heart in this.” She dropped her gaze. “I have already sworn an oath of fealty.”

Silence. Then, “You offered her an oath of fealty?”

“ _Sha_. Before she went back to _Maun-de_ the second time.”

“How did she react?”

Lexa bit her lip, remembering the hot, scorching kisses. “She seemed pleased,” she hedged.

“But?”

“It is not _Skaikru_ custom, Balta, so she did not respond in kind, though she…demonstrated that she was pleased.”

“ _Heda_ —”

“She was afraid that I would betray her again. I wanted to assure her. And I wanted her to know that what I feel for her is something that will not change, that she has captured my heart, and that she did not need to respond then.”

Balta moved closer and pulled her into a hug and Lexa froze again. The last time Balta had hugged her was after Costia’s death. “ _Leksa kom Trikru_ , you need to know her heart in this.”

“But _Skaikru_ may not engage in ceremonies as we do,” she said, as she returned the hug.

“Then ask her.” Balta pulled back. “You and she are two halves of a whole. She cares about you so very much. Perhaps she is wondering what _our_ customs are in this regard. Though I suspect that is not a conversation that will take place tonight.” She smiled, and a sly gleam sparked in her eyes.

Lexa flushed. “It must be strange, to see me like this.”

“It’s beautiful. Now go. We will speak about other matters later.”

She nodded. “ _Sha_ , _fisa_.” And she stepped into the corridor, immediately accompanied by the two guards who waited for her. They went to the lift and ascended to the floor where her quarters were and she strode deliberately to her own, where she stripped and washed the day’s sweat from her skin and cleaned her teeth. Once done, she pulled on a lightweight, loose pair of trousers along with a short-sleeved shirt that hugged her torso but was soft after many washings.

Perhaps she should have checked, to see if Clarke was in her quarters, because she wasn’t sure now what to do, if she should wait to hear from Clarke or if she should go to Clarke’s quarters. After all, she might be waiting, too.

Lexa almost laughed. They were like two young girls with a first attraction.

Except this was so much more than that. So much deeper, so much more.

Two halves of a whole.

And she was more than comfortable swearing fealty to Clarke because as far as she was concerned, Clarke was the woman who held her heart. And Clarke hadn’t said no, so—

A knock sounded at the door and Lexa’s heart pounded. “ _Min yu op_.”

“ _Heda_ ,” came Clarke’s voice as she opened the door and Lexa wanted to capture the sound of it, and hold it close so she could hear it every waking hour.

“ _Sha_.”

Clarke stepped in and shut the door behind her and Lexa stared. Her hair was down and she wore a baggy shirt that came down to mid-thigh. She was also wearing a pair of the shorts Balta had made for her the first time she came to Polis and she was both beautiful and alluring and all Lexa could do was keep staring.

“Are you done for the evening?” Clarke asked and she moved toward her.

“Not with you.”

Clarke was barely inches from her, now. “Good. So here’s a question. How do you do it?” she asked, voice breathy and low, candlelight glancing off her hair and eyes.

“Do what?” She quirked an eyebrow, heart pounding even harder, heat racing up and down her arms and legs.

“I wanted to touch you so much tonight. And every time I looked at you, I saw the Commander. In control. Calm. _Fanasheda_ , I could barely control myself.”

She smiled. “And if I were to tell you that I wondered the same about you?” she asked. Clarke was standing so close that Lexa was sure her skin would burst into flames from her body heat, from her familiar scent and the expression in her eyes, from her mere presence.

“Really? You felt it too?” She was teasing and oh, how Lexa loved it when she did.

“You have all night to find out.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Lexa moved until they were inches apart, and stared down into her eyes. “Does _Wanheda_ wish to know what she does to _Heda_?”

Clarke gave her a lazy, lopsided smile. “Probably the same thing _Heda_ does to _Wanheda_.”

Lexa leaned in closer and she had no idea how she maintained her composure, her lips so close to Clarke’s. “Perhaps we should find out.”

“Mmm. Yes. And more of _that_ ,” Clarke said softly, and Lexa cocked her head, not sure what she was talking about. “The look in your eyes,” she said, voice low and sultry and oh, how it made her throb. “ _That’s_ what I want from you.” And she cupped her face and kissed her and it triggered a flood of sensations and emotions and she pulled her close, aching and wanting. Needing. Clarke’s fingers dug into her back but Lexa didn’t care because all she knew was Clarke’s mouth and her tongue and her hands tugging at her shirt then pushing her backward until they collapsed on the bed, Clarke on top.

But Lexa was a dam breached, a wildfire uncontained, and she practically tore her own shirt off before she wrenched Clarke’s off and pulled her down against her, skin to skin, and Clarke’s long, low moan only added fuel. Lexa rolled her over and quickly slipped out of her pants, then jerked Clarke’s shorts off, barely registering that neither of them had been wearing undergarments as she tossed them aside. She grabbed Clarke’s wrists and pinned them above her head as she lowered herself against her, and she bit her lip at the way this felt, breath already rasping between her teeth, want, need, and so much else ricocheting through her heart.

Clarke gasped and spread her legs wider to better accommodate her between her thighs and Lexa groaned softly because oh, she was already so wet and so ready. So beautiful. So everything. Lexa kept her wrists pinned and nipped and nuzzled Clarke’s neck then worked her way down to her breasts, where she spent long, langorous moments, at first gentle, running her tongue delicately over her nipples, Clarke’s whimpers and gasps her guide. She teased and taunted, and sucked and bit light marks above her breasts until Clarke was writhing and straining against her and the throbbing between her thighs increased exponentially.

“Lexa,” she said with a gasp and oh, how she loved when Clarke said her name like that.

She stopped and stared down at her and Clarke stopped moving, too, and regarded her, eyes dark with arousal and Lexa almost forgot to breathe at her expression.

“I missed you,” Lexa said, and she leaned down and kissed her, gently. “Let me show you how much,” she said against Clarke’s mouth and she bit her lip, lightly at first, then harder and Clarke moaned.

“Yes,” Clarke said, and Lexa released her arms and tangled her hands in her hair and kissed her harder, like her life depended on it, and Clarke responded in kind and the kisses became a tangle of tongues, teeth, lips, and hot bursts of breath and it went on and on until Lexa broke from that and worked her way down Clarke’s neck to her shoulders. She was almost dizzy with arousal, inundated with Clarke’s warmth and the faint traces of soap, mint, and musk and the familiar and exciting ways they fit together. Lexa worked her way between Clarke’s breasts, then down her abdomen, and she gripped Clarke’s hips as she sucked another mark onto her skin and Clarke’s fingers dug into her shoulders and she was panting and moaning and Lexa went lower still, squeezing Clarke’s thighs.

And then Lexa moved and pulled Clarke with her to the foot of the bed, eliciting an exclamation of surprise and she smiled as she slid off the bed to her knees and pulled Clarke even closer, until the heady smell of her desire surrounded her, and she slid her hands beneath Clarke’s ass and leaned down and tasted her, finally, and the groan she heard might have been Clarke’s or hers. Possibly both.

And oh, how Lexa had missed her, missed the sounds she made when she used her tongue, and the way she instinctively picked up Lexa’s rhythm and how she responded, touching herself as Lexa tasted and savored, her other hand on the back of Lexa’s head as she sought more contact.

She could do this all night, spend all her time with her tongue and lips buried in Clarke’s folds, catching each new surge of moisture as she worked Clarke toward release. She sensed when Clarke was close so she slowed to a stop and stared, transfixed by the sight of Clarke, naked and panting, hair spread on the furs.

“Lexa,” she managed, a question in her eyes. “What—”

“Not yet,” Lexa said with a smile as she straddled Clarke’s waist.

"I think I might know how much you missed me," she said with a smirk as she ran her hands along Lexa's thighs. She tried to slide her hand between Lexa's legs but Lexa stopped her and kissed her hand instead.

“You’re making me wait?” Clarke groaned softly but she was smiling, too.

“Patience.” And she leaned down into a kiss and started all over again, working her way down Clarke’s body, driving her a little wilder, making her grip and thrust harder, pushing her into a near frenzy, her mouth on Lexa’s breasts, her hands on her hips and Lexa was already so close that it wouldn’t take much more—

She grabbed Clarke’s wrist and stared into her eyes as she guided her hand between them and Clarke gasped and bit her lip when her fingers contacted Lexa’s soaked folds.

“I missed you,” Lexa said softly as she moved against Clarke’s fingers, the feel of them making her chest constrict as she struggled not to release.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s jaw with her free hand, her expression full of everything Lexa felt, and then she slid her hand to the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss, still gently exploring with her other hand. Lexa had no coherent thought, filled with Clarke’s fingers, the feel of her mouth, and the press of her breasts...how could anything feel so good…she was so, so close…

“Touch me,” Clarke murmured against her lips.

Lexa smiled and positioned herself to make it easier for both of them as she entered her, and she heard Clarke’s breath catch as she arched, her fingers matching Lexa’s strokes.

So close…

A pulsing, hot wave of sensation slammed through her and she heard Clarke groan her name and then she was falling and somehow managed to pull Clarke into a hard, aching, blistering kiss as she fell apart, too, and then it was happening again and stars floated behind Lexa’s eyelids as she came a second time, Clarke’s fingers buried within her and her mouth hungry against hers. Lexa thrust twice with her own fingers and Clarke arched against her with a sharp intake of breath and a long moan and let go again, and oh, she was so beautiful and Lexa stared at her in wonderment, that she was even here with her.

“Lexa,” she said as she settled and Lexa gently lowered herself against her, muscles still trembling as aftershocks rolled through her, but Clarke, too, was experiencing the same thing.

“I’m here.” She kissed her forehead. “ _Otaim_.”

Clarke drew a shuddering breath and stroked her face. “Damn it, I missed you so much.”

She kissed her again, heart practically exploding. She would never get enough of her. Ever.

“How is it possible that I want you more every time I see you?” Clarke asked, lips grazing Lexa’s. “Everything about you. Your smile. Your eyes. The way you say my name. The way you make me feel safe.” She kissed her again. “I hate it when we’re apart.”

“As do I.” She nuzzled Clarke’s neck and carefully extricated her fingers. Clarke did the same and Lexa settled herself against her more comfortably. “Indra will probably tell you that she’s glad you’re back.”

“Mmm. Why?” Clarke ran her fingers along her shoulders and it sent chills down Lexa's back.

“Because I might stop forcing her to run with me through the forests every morning.”

Clarke’s expression was almost comical. “You…what? Are you saying that you’ve taken up running?”

“Yes.”

“And this running…does what?”

Lexa cleared her throat. “Can we just say that it expends excess energy?”

Clarke’s eyebrows raised and then she chuckled. “Oh, _Heda_. That might’ve made me want you even more.” She pressed her lips to Lexa’s throat and it was so intimate, so tender, that she closed her eyes. “If it was possible to do so.”

Lexa pulled her closer. “I make you feel safe?”

“Yes. That’s important to me.”

“When exactly did this happen?” she teased.

Clarke laughed and lightly nipped her neck, which only stoked yet another fire at her core. “Since I met you.”

Lexa pulled back and studied her in the candlelight. “Our first meeting didn’t go as well as I’m sure you would have liked.”

“I disagree. You didn’t kill me, and you didn’t let Indra kill me. That’s a win for me.” She grinned and it might have been the cutest thing Lexa had ever seen. “But I knew for sure when we had to deal with the _pauna_.”

She waited, stroking Clarke’s face.

“I slept, after we escaped. For the first time in a long time, I was finally able to sleep a bit, and when I woke up, you said it was okay, that I was safe. And I knew I was.”

“Yes, you were. You still are. And there is nothing I won’t do to make sure that remains the case.”

“I know.” She kissed her, a tender, sweet melding of lips and Lexa knew that she was safe, too, that no matter how many times she let her armor down with her, Clarke would do everything in her power to protect her.

And then Clarke’s hands started roaming, trailing lightly over her back, and then they went lower. The smile she used when they were together alone showed. “You said I had all night.” She ran her hands up her back again.

“Mmm.”

“Well, then. We’re just getting started.”

“I was hoping that was the case,” she said as she rolled them over so Clarke was on top and she wasted no time beginning her explorations of Lexa’s body with lips and fingers, and Lexa gladly let her, gladly relaxed into her touches and let her set a pace between them.

“I missed you,” Clarke whispered near her ear and it sent heat down her spine and between her thighs. “So much.”

“Show me.”

Clarke looked down into her eyes and smiled in that way she had. “Patience.” She straddled Lexa’s hips and Lexa felt how wet she was still and she bit back a groan as Clarke interlaced their fingers then leaned forward, effectively pinning Lexa’s hands to the furs. “We have all night,” she said, her smile now teasing and heated.

And as Clarke kissed her and moved against her, Lexa hoped the night would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! So as I said in the previous chapter, I made a decision and there will be 75 chapters total. As the structure of 73 and 74 came together, it made sense to close out on a nice number like 75. And that'll probably be the weekend of the 21st.
> 
> How cute would Clexa be as parents, amirite? And I'm sorry/not sorry for the thirst and smut-lite. *shrug* Clexa. What can I say?
> 
> Anyway, THANKS to all of you who have joined me on this ride. Thanks for all the kudos and comments and your patience! And you can bother me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [Tumblr](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com).
> 
> Some tunes that helped me with this chapter: Smallpools, "Passenger Side"; Tanita Tikaram, "Preyed Upon"; Bishop Briggs, "Be Your Love"; Raphaella, "Turn Around" (srsly sexy, that song)


	75. More than just Surviving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke chats with Val and Abby, then there's the Kongeda ceremony, festival preparation, and Clarke finally has that conversation she's been wanting to with Lexa.

Clarke set up for the next toss and the knife sailed through the air and hit the wood with a satisfying _thunk_ , just outside the painted circle in the center. She retrieved it and the other and adjusted the old door that served as a target. Lexa was right. Doing this relieved stress. She stopped and watched the work that continued on the structure next to the guard house. It was pretty much finished, but now people were painting various clan insignia on the gray oilskin walls in vivid colors.

“Well done.”

Clarke looked at Val as she approached and smiled. “ _Heya_.” She was dressed in riding leathers and wore a short sword on her belt. Her eyes appeared greener than usual, and Clarke wondered if it was a trick of her own eyes, because Val wore a deep green shirt. And though she did look enough like Lexa that she could probably fool people who weren’t that familiar with her in person, there was no way Clarke would ever think that. She was too attuned to the lines of Lexa’s face, to the ways she moved and carried herself, and to every nuance in her eyes and voice, and she realized that she had been probably since the beginning.

“Is this a skill you learned before you came to the ground?” Val asked.

“No. _Heda_ taught me some basics and I try to practice when I can.”

“Ah. I thought the technique looked familiar. _Heda_ learned it from _Anya kom Trikru_ and modified it in ways that worked better for how she fights, which is different than many.”

Clarke hefted the knife and waited for Val to continue, thinking about Anya and how she had reluctantly worked with Clarke before her death. It still made her gut clench that _Skaikru_ was responsible for it.

“You have seen _Heda_ fight.” Not a question.

Clarke nodded.

“She uses her body in such a way that it conserves energy, and allows her to wear an opponent down. If, for example, I strike another—” she clenched her fist and extended it to Clarke, touching her shoulder, “and I put all my weight behind it, I have expended a lot of energy to do that.” She withdrew her hand. “However, if I strike someone thus—” she extended her hand, touched her shoulder, then withdrew it quickly, “I have used less energy but inflicted damage. How we use our energy and direct it allows us to be more effective with our strikes. Faster, as well.”

“Did Anya fight like that?”

“ _Sha_ , but _Heda_ took the techniques and made them her own. _Heda_ understands that everyone has different strengths and abilities, and a technique that works for one may not work for another. Anya believed that if you know your body, and you understand what it can and cannot do, you are thus able to better judge what an opponent can and cannot do, and you can adjust your approach in a fight or battle. This she imparted to _Heda_.”

“How long have you known _Heda_?”

“Since she was a Novitiate, a few years before she Ascended. We had some training and education together. She was very serious about her studies, and very serious about her training. When all were dismissed, there she would be, still training, still working with the teachers, still observing.” Val smiled again. “She spent many, many hours at the guard house watching the training and she would break each movement into small pieces and analyze them, so that she could understand perfectly how they fit together and how to adjust them.”

Clarke smiled, too, because that sounded so like Lexa. She would have loved to have seen her younger, brow furrowed as she went through each step of a movement, each part of a problem a teacher presented.

“Although I’m sure _Heda_ has told you that she and I sometimes slipped out of our lessons early.”

“She did mention it. But not too many details.”

“Nothing any child wouldn’t do, but she was a Novitiate, so we had to be careful. We were caught once, and Titus was less than pleased.”

“So his normal mood, then.”

She laughed. “Titus is difficult. But his loyalty to _Heda_ is unassailable.”

“Takes all kinds, I suppose.”

“So it does. Show me,” she said, motioning at Clarke’s knives. “Use your stronger hand.”

Clarke set up and tried not to be nervous. After all, she’d done this in front of others. She inhaled, exhaled, and threw first one, then the other. Both sank into the wood of the door and stuck, about a foot apart. “Yes,” she said with a grin and Val laughed.

“Excellent. _Heda_ ’s technique allows for each person to vary it in accordance with what is most comfortable. She believes that once you find your stable point—” she motioned at the area between her breasts and upper thighs, “then you will be able to move around that. It’s…” she struggled for the words in English.

“Center of gravity, maybe? Your core?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“It makes sense.” Clarke retrieved her knives and handed them to Val. “Will you show me?”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_.” She took both, one in each hand. “I learned a different technique, but it works well for me.” She demonstrated her hold, which involved a slightly different set-up than the one Lexa used. “I’ll go slowly, so that you can see.” And she took her stance and in smooth motions, threw one, and then the other, using each hand. Both knives hit the center of the painted target on the door, a couple of inches apart.

“Wow.”

“Practice,” Val said. “We don’t become skilled at anything unless we practice, and continue to practice. You practice until your movements are automatic, so that your mind no longer has to direct them and your body merely responds to a target. And then you practice more.”

“Muscle memory.”

“ _Sha_. So, _Wanheda_ , you are well?” Concern showed in her eyes.

“ _Sha_ ,” she said, confused.

“I wondered, because you are out here rather than in the tower preparing for tonight’s ceremony.”

“Oh.” She grinned, sheepish. “ _Heda_ told me that it clears your head to do something like this.” She gestured at the knives in the door.

Val chuckled. “Ah. Do not worry, _Klark kom Skaikru_. You are simply completing the ceremony for your people. You have already shared blood. You are bound to the _kongeda_. Completing the ceremony is more for politics than bond.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows, surprised that she would be so frank. “What do you think of the _kongeda_?”

“I approve. Fighting between the clans drains resources and keeps warriors from families and homes. And I want my sons to know that there are other ways besides fighting. _Heda_ is showing us all that this can be, and though I know there will be difficulties as we change, I am hopeful.” She rested her hand on the pommel of her sword.

“Sons. Nik and…?”

“Reston.” Her expression softened. “He is not like his brother, who wishes to follow my path into warrior training. Reston prefers working with his hands. He is already developing a talent for carving and building. And he draws, too.”

“I’d love to see some of his work.”

“He would be extremely excited. His brother has been talking about meeting you, and Balta has told me of _your_ artistic talent.”

“It’s a hobby. But I’d be glad to show Reston a few things.”

“I would be honored.”

“It’s no trouble. I’m glad to help where I can.”

Val studied her for a few moments, like Grounders sometimes did. She had found it unnerving at first, but now she understood it was part of many conversations, gauging the mindset of the other. “My sons’ father lost a sister to the _Maunon_ ,” she said. “Like many, his family was unable to properly send her on her last journey, because her body was never recovered. This leaves wounds in the spirit that never heal.” She paused. “You ended that. You took your people into _Maun-de_ twice to do this. And though we have all lost loved ones to the _Maunon_ , knowing that we will lose no more is a precious, precious gift.”

Clarke shifted, uncomfortable with the attention. “It helps us all.”

“ _Sha_.”

“Is your sons’ father all right?”

 _Sha_. He is a hunter who lives in another village, but he does come to visit us. I expect we’ll see him during the festival.”

Clarke must have looked confused because Val chuckled. “I bore Nik and my _houmon_ Nomi bore Reston. They share one father.”

She recalled Octavia’s comment about Grounders and the relationships they formed. “ _Mochof_ , for sharing a bit of your life with me. On the Ark—above the ground—we had limited resources and limited room, which I think restricted the kinds of relationships we could have, though people did break the rules. They just couldn’t be public about it.”

“That is unfortunate. Our ways do not require oversight, but I suspect that may be because we are not restricted in the ways you were above the ground.”

“We did have to register our _houmon_ with the council if we wanted to have a formal relationship. Because that determined resources, especially if a child came of the relationship.”

Val’s eyes widened. “Register?”

“Yes. We had to let the council know, and a record was kept.”

She shook her head, expression shocked. “There is no need for that among the clans. If you decide to create a bond, it is a matter between you and the person or people with whom you seek to make an arrangement.”

She smiled. “Good to know.”

“Nomi and I share a bond. We do not share such with our sons’ father, though we considered it. We decided, however, that we are better friends with him than _houmon_. He agreed.” She smiled, too. “It is important to know one’s heart in such matters, before you offer an oath.” She shrugged. “I always knew my heart where Nomi is concerned. And though I care very much for the father of my sons, he does not speak to my spirit as Nomi does.”

Clarke suddenly understood what Octavia meant by heart eyes, because that was definitely what Val had and it warmed her heart. “ _Mochof_ , _Val kom Trikru_ , _gon_ _yu sontaim_.” 1

“ _Get yu tombom klin_ , _Wanheda_.” 2 She held her gaze for a moment longer then retrieved Clarke’s knives. “ _Mochof_ for speaking with Nik,” she said as she handed them to her.

“Of course.” She sheathed them. “I look forward to meeting Reston and Nomi.”

“They would enjoy that.” She glanced toward the guard house then back at Clarke. “May I escort you to the tower?”

“Yes. I’m sure _Heda_ will want to know you weren’t shirking your duties.”

Val laughed and walked with her and the other guard back to the tower, chatting more about knives and throwing techniques. Clarke liked her easygoing nature and willingness to talk, but she knew that Val had already assessed her and determined it wasn’t a waste of her time to do so. Clarke liked that, too, about Grounder culture. They didn’t waste time on talking around something and they sure as hell didn’t waste time talking for talking’s sake.

“ _Mochof_ , _plangona_ ,” Clarke said when they arrived at the tower. “I hope to see you soon.”

“I hope to see you soon as well.”

Clarke went inside with her guard and took the stairs to the floor that had been turned into a sick ward. Her knee was feeling much better, but it twinged a little on the steps. She entered the corridor and saw Rex walking away from her, stiff and slow but walking nonetheless. She caught up with him and her guard remained a few paces behind to give her some privacy.

“ _Heya_ ,” she said.

“ _Wanheda_.” He beamed at her. “I am pleased to see you.”

“I’m glad to see you walking. How are you feeling?” She motioned for him to resume and he did.

“Weak.” He sounded more resigned than frustrated.

“Healing takes as long as it takes.”

“ _Sha_ , _Wanheda_ ,” he said with a quick smile as they reached the end and turned around to walk back.

“Are you able to walk on stairs yet?”

“I have started, yes. It is pleasant to see another floor,” he teased.

She smiled. “The Chancellor wants to make sure that your strength continues to return. Too much too soon and you’ll have a setback. Are you stretching like she showed you?”

“ _Sha_.” They stopped at the door to his room. A servant passed, smiling at them. “The healers and servants talk of the _kongeda_ ceremony at sundown,” he said.

She waited for him to say more.

“I cannot attend that or the celebration after, but I wished to convey my support for a strong union. I remember Roan’s father and I have heard he is much like him. Willum was a good man, and a respected leader.”

Clarke went into this room with him, but he didn’t seem to need any help with movement. He sat down at the table, where he had been working on several wooden carvings.

“May I?” she motioned at one of a horse and he grinned and handed it to her.

The wood was still a little rough, but it was a good likeness. “These are beautiful.”

“They pass the time.”

She put the horse down and picked up another. “ _Pauna_?”

“ _Sha_ ,” he said with surprise that she recognized it. “I saw one, when I was a younger man. Fierce. And something to avoid.”

“ _Heda_ and I faced one,” she said and she placed it carefully back on the table.

His eyes widened.

“Definitely something to avoid.” She picked up the third carving, a deer, in the motion of running, and ran her hand over its surface. He was nearly done with this one, and the wood was smooth beneath her fingertips. “Do you need more wood?”

He pointed at a couple of pieces on the windowsill. “I am taken care of in that regard. “And the Chancellor has allowed me visitors. Each time one comes, they walk me down the corridor.” His mustache lifted with his smile. “My oldest daughter takes me on the stairs.”

“I’m sure the Chancellor is pleased with your progress. As am I. _Mochof_ , _Rex kom Trikru_ , _gon yu badannes_.” 3

“ _En yu_ , _Klark kom Skaikru_. _Yu koma Heda, Kyongedon, en yu kru kom yu jova_. 4

Balta appeared in the doorway. “Clarke. If I may have a bit of your time.”

Rex chuckled. “Always something for _Wanheda_ to do.”

Clarke smiled. “I’ll check in with you again.” She squeezed his hand and joined Balta in the corridor. “ _Sha_.”

“ _Heda_ tells me that she has explained what is expected of you in the _kongeda_.”

“ _Sha_.”

“She neglected to make a request of you and asked that I find you that you might talk with the Chancellor about the bloodletting.”

“She knows that it’s part of the ceremony.”

“You have already provided blood, but Roan has not, and _Heda_ will of course bind the ceremony with hers.” She gave her a pointed look.

And then it dawned on her. Abby didn’t know about Nightblood. “Shit. I forgot, too. I’ll talk to the Chancellor.”

Balta nodded. “ _Mochof_. I will see you before sundown.”

Clarke nodded and Balta smiled then strode to the exit that would take her to the stairs. Clarke went to the rooms that had become an infirmary. Balta and probably Lexa understood that the best person to address this topic with Abby was her. She wished they had thought to do it earlier, but things had been busy.

Abby was talking to one of the healers when Clarke entered the infirmary, but Abby looked up at her and smiled then finished the conversation and turned to her.

“How’s Rex?”

“He looks really good,” Clarke said. “And he seems to feel good. Thanks.”

Abby shrugged. “It’s what I do,” she said.

“And you do it well.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I like to think so.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Sure.” She looked puzzled, but motioned toward the bathroom in the back. Clarke followed her. There was no door, so she kept her voice down.

“What’s going on?” Abby asked, crossing her arms.

“It’s about the _kongeda_ ceremony tonight. I forgot to tell you something.”

“About the ceremony?”

“Yeah. The clans have a deep relationship with the idea of blood.”

“I know. And there’s a bloodletting.”

“Yes. Roan will have to provide a few drops of his blood and Lexa provides a few of hers to bind the ceremony. They’ll say _Jus souda glong raun jus_. Blood must join blood.”

“So…what? Do you want me to ensure the knives are sterilized?”

Clarke half-laughed. “No.” She checked to make sure no one was in earshot. “I’m telling you this because Lexa isn’t like other people.”

Abby stared at her and a teasing glint entered her eyes. “I’m aware of that, given her position. And I’m sure other parents have heard that same statement from their adult children when they’re trying to prepare them for dinner with a love interest.” She cocked her head. “Does Lexa do things like that? Have dinner with her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s mom?”

Clarke blushed and cleared her throat. “Um. That’s not really where I wanted this conversation to go.”

“Too bad. I was hoping for a formal kind of invite.”

“Uh…”

Abby flashed a wicked little smile. “You haven’t brought it up since you got back and I know Lexa’s talked to you about the conversation she and I had while you were at Arkadia. But you know I already guessed something was going on between you two.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not—anyway, that’s not the issue,” she said, trying to get back on track. “The issue is that Lexa’s blood is different and I didn’t want you to be shocked should you realize that tonight.”

At that, Abby’s brows furrowed and she was immediately serious. “What do you mean?”

“It’s black.”

She blinked. “You mean darker than most.”

“No, I mean black. Grounders call it _Sheidjus_. Those who have it are called _Natblida_. Nightbloods. Every Commander has this kind of blood.”

“What—how?”

“Nobody’s totally sure,” Clarke hedged, “but it’s different than regular blood and it’s something that people don’t talk about, probably because if the Mountain Men had known, they would have hunted down every Nightblood they could find.”

“Does it have special properties?”

“Maybe,” she hedged again. “But you need to understand this isn’t something that is talked about, and given that there’s still mistrust of us, I’m asking you not to mention it or discuss it with anyone. There are those among the clans who think we’re just another version of the Mountain Men, and if you start asking questions about it and wanting to explore it, it’ll cause problems, and jeopardize our position in the _kongeda_.”

Abby frowned. “There’s more to this, isn’t there.” Not a question.

“Maybe. And we’ll talk about it later, the two of us. Right now, though, I need to know that you won’t discuss it with anyone else from Arkadia. Not even Kane. Please.”

She nodded, but she was still frowning. “Nobody else at Arkadia knows?”

“Well, I mean, Kane does because he's gone through the ceremony. But other than that, I don’t think so. Just don't talk to him about it until I have a chance to brief you both.”

“Okay.”

Clarke waited for the condition, but it didn’t come. “Great. Thanks,” she said, cautious. “And we’ll talk more about it another time. Promise.”

“Fine. So. Back to my other question. Does Lexa do things like have dinner with her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s mom? Or is that not something the Commander does? Or Grounders in general?”

Clarke knew she must have looked like she wanted to run out of the room because Abby smiled.

“Relax. It’s just a question.”

She checked again for possible eavesdroppers or anyone looking for Abby before she responded. “I don’t know what that would look like, honestly. But I get where this is going.”

“Oh?” Her tone was light and Clarke appreciated that she was trying this approach. It didn’t put her on edge. At least not as much.

Clarke rolled her eyes, also trying to keep it light. “Okay, here’s what you want to know. Yes, I have feelings for Lexa and yes, we’re both aware that there will be obstacles so there’s no point to talking about that.” She might have sounded tense.

“Is it serious?”

“Yes.” No point in denying it.

Abby nodded once, a flash of worry in her eyes. “So—”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure how this is going to work, or what’s involved, but we’re going to figure it out.” And she intended to have a talk with Lexa once the ceremony was out of the way.

“Okay.”

She braced for more of Abby’s usual remonstrations about her decisions, but they didn’t come.

“I’ll keep all of this quiet.”

“Thank you. Has Balta made arrangements to get you to the council chamber for the ceremony?”

“Yes. And I talked to Kane this morning. He’ll announce the elections within two days.”

“Does he want to talk to me about anything?”

“Not that I know of, but I’ll ask him tomorrow. He might want your take on the ceremony.”

Clarke nodded. “Sounds good.” They regarded each other for a few moments.

“See?” Abby said.

“What?”

“That wasn’t so hard.”

She snorted. “Yeah, okay.” Still, she was relieved that it was in the open between them. One less thing to avoid. “We can talk about things later, maybe. I’m not sure I’m totally comfortable discussing aspects of my relationship with you.”

“So how serious is it?”

“Very.”

Abby hesitated before saying anything more. Then, “How long?”

“From the beginning, in some ways. It just took me a while to realize it. She figured it out before I did, though.” Clarke smiled. “I can be stubborn.”

Abby snorted. “Really? I had no idea.”

“Yeah, well, I know where I get it from.”

“So what do you need me to do with regard to your relationship?”

“Nothing. Except don’t discuss it with anyone. It’s not public knowledge and we’re going to keep it that way for a while. Lexa has a lot of political capital right now, but this is slightly different. If I was from one of the other clans, it probably wouldn’t be as big a deal.”

Abby nodded, concern in her eyes. “But you have your own political capital.”

“In a way. And I think that’ll help. We still need to consider all the angles. So please keep it quiet.”

“Okay.” Her tone was resigned, but accepting.

“Give us time, you and me. There are some things that I’m not ready to talk about with you. It doesn’t mean I won’t ever. It just means I’m working on a few things.”

She nodded. “I think I am, too.”

They stood in silence for a few moments until Clarke broke it. “Do you need any help right now with the wounded?”

“No. You should probably get ready for the ceremony. It’s getting late.”

“All right. I’ll see you later.” She moved to the doorway.

“Clarke.”

She waited.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah. You, too.” She gave her a quick smile and left. Balta wanted her in her quarters before sundown and from the light coming in through the windows, it was nearing that. She headed down the corridor toward the lift, guard at her heels, myriad thoughts bouncing through her head.

 

1 _Mochof_ , _Val kom Trikru_ , _gon_ _yu sontaim_ : Thank you, Val of _Trikru_ , for your story  
2 _Get yu tombom klin_ , _Wanheda_ : Know your heart, _Wanheda_  
3 _Mochof_ , _Rex kom Trikru_ , _gon yu badannes_ : Thank you, Rex of _Trikru_ , for your service/loyalty _._  
4 _Yu koma Heda, Kyongedaon, en yu kru kom yu jova_ : You honor _Heda_ , Grounders, and your people with your courage

 

###

 

Lexa stood patiently in her quarters as Balta adjusted the deep red sash beneath her left shoulder guard. She was in full regalia sans swords this evening, in accordance with the formality of the circumstances, though she would much rather have been in far less attire, wrapped in Clarke’s arms.

But the duties of _Heda_ precluded such.

“Have you been in the city recently?” Lexa asked, silently appreciating the deep red dress Balta had chosen to wear.

She finished with Lexa’s shoulder guard. “ _Sha_. Yesterday.”

“The mood?”

“The best I have seen in years. And much praise of you and _Wanheda_.”

Lexa ran her fingertips over the hilt of one of her knives. “What is the mood with regard to _Azgeda_?”

“Relief that Nia is gone and that Roan occupies the throne. She was not popular, even among _Azgeda_ in the city. And _Heda_ , there is much pride among all the clans about your victory over her.”

“It was fortunate.” She twisted to make sure she was comfortable in her coat and vest.

“No, _Heda_ , it was as it should be. You are a skilled warrior and a skilled leader. Nia underestimated you.”

“A fight can go any number of ways, _fisa_.”

Balta gave her a look. “And your humility is honorable. The clans appreciate it. But you earned your victory, _Heda_ , and I think you should celebrate it this night.”

She chuckled. “I think I am most appreciative that we are granted time to do so.” She tended not to think too much about past battles, since dwelling on them didn’t prove helpful, but she did appreciate Nia’s skills as a warrior. Circumstances could certainly have gone in a different direction, but they hadn’t. She remembered Clarke shouting before Nia attacked again, though she had expected it. Still, hearing her voice at that moment made her realize that there was no one else she wanted in her heart more than Clarke.

“I’m sure there is at least one other woman in your life who also appreciates this time.” She checked the buckles across her chest, but Lexa knew it was just a formality. Then she checked her braids and facepaint.

“What is the mood this day of the council with regard to Roan?”

“Mostly approval. There are two who are more cautious, but many remember Roan’s father, and they consider Roan his father’s son. That is the word on the streets, as well.”

“The two?” she asked, though she could guess.

“ _Ingranronakru_ and _Ouskejon Kru_.” 5

She had guessed correctly. Herrod and Vespir had always been leery of _Azgeda_ , but they generally fell in with the rest of the council. Solid, long-time representatives who tended to be cautious in most matters, but who privately had both expressed support for her and the _kongeda_ overall, including _Skaikru_ , though Herrod seemed more comfortable about it than his counterpart at _Ouskejon_.

“They will support Roan,” Balta said, “but they are uncertain about his hold on _Azgeda_.”

“As are many of us. But it seems he has the backing of most, and will benefit simply because he is his father’s son.”

“As Gani told them both.”

“Oh?” Lexa raised an eyebrow. Gani tended to speak her mind, but rarely engaged in political machinations, especially not outside council gatherings.

“It came up in a conversation with others. Herrod asked for her thoughts. She gave them.”

She nodded. That made more sense, given Gani’s temperament. And because she tended to be impartial even in the most heated of debates, her opinions carried weight. “And Freya?”

“I have spoken with her at length,” Balta said. “So has Ferris, Gani, and Atlan. I would like you to speak with her, as well.”

“I plan to. I spoke with her briefly yesterday, but will request a longer meeting after the _kongeda_ ceremony. I would like you and Indra to join me.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“Your thoughts?”

“I have little doubt that she will serve well as a council representative. She seems a natural, and observes carefully.”

“Does she have an opinion on Hamza?”

“No. She has heard Danyel mention him, but always in the neutral and she did not know who he was until she came to Polis.”

“Watch him with her. He may harbor a grudge, given her statements regarding Danyel and Mykal.”

Balta nodded then adjusted Lexa’s sash yet again and Lexa looked at her, puzzled at this continued fussing.

“You wish to say something further?”

She smiled. “ _Heda_ reads me well.”

Lexa smiled back. “We have known each other for years. It is to be expected.”

Balta stepped back and regarded her, as if debating what to say.

“As Lexa, then. Speak.”

“I was thinking that this is a culmination of the work you have done since you Ascended.”

“Some of it. There is always more to do.”

Balta was quiet for a few moments. “I asked to be placed with the Novitiates after you came to Polis and I spoke with you the first time. Do you remember?”

“Of course. It was barely twelve days after my mother brought me here. Titus wanted two healers to work with the Conclave. He is very particular, but you come from a family of healers and he knew them, so he brought you to meet us.” She remembered that day. Cast adrift in a city with people she didn’t know, and already subjected to a grueling regimen of study and weapons training. Not a life for a child, but something within her pushed her to it, pushed her through her fear and loneliness.

“You were very serious.” Her eyes sparked with amusement. “Some things haven’t changed, perhaps.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Though age and experience have mellowed you in some ways.”

“One hopes it does such with all of us.”

“Indeed. Do you remember what you said to me that day?”

“Yes. There had been a fight between two Novitiates from clans at war. I was watching you check the wounds of one of the boys and I wondered why clans fought each other because if they didn’t, we might better fight the _Maunon_ together.”

“ _Sha_. That was when I knew there was something very special about you. I knew of you before that--a bit--through my mother's sister, but you were very young and lived in a different village. But what you said that day about the clans--that is why I petitioned Titus many times to work with the Novitiates.”

She frowned. “He did not choose you?”

Balta smiled. “Oh, he did. After I petitioned him every day for a few weeks.”

“I did not realize he did not choose you immediately.”

“He finally relented, and thus truly began my relationship with him. As maddening and frustrating as he is, he is loyal to his duties and to you, though he has never worked with a Commander quite like you in all his years of service.”

“So he has said.” She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “I am indeed a test for the _Fleimkepa_ ,” she added with wry humor.

“As am I. _Heda_ is not the only one in the tower who can be stubborn, as he discovered those weeks after I first met you.” She smiled again. “A child had said to me something I had always wondered myself. You, a much younger child than I from a local village, voiced it in a Conclave. I knew even then that if you were to become _Heda_ , you would act on such vision, because you were already speaking it before you had six years to your life. And I saw within you burned a rare flame, and that surely the spirit of the Commander would choose you to carry it forth. I wanted to ensure that I was part of that journey.”

Lexa thought back to those long, hard years in the Conclave, the constant work and, later, the understanding that if she were to survive, she had to learn to kill, and to accept that her first ones would probably be the Novitiates who suffered with her. Even then, she had wondered at the efficacy of doing such in order to Ascend, when defeating them and leaving them alive would still prove her worthiness to Ascend, and also leave resources in place, because only other Novitiates could truly understand what a Commander went through before Ascension.

“There were days,” she said, “that I hoped to be injured that I might have to see you.”

Now Balta raised her eyesbrows, surprised.

“You provided comfort to a very frightened and often lonely child who was asked to bear responsibilities I couldn’t begin to understand. Costia tried, and she helped, in her way, but I needed someone older who would not put expectations on me and instead would just listen or sit with me. That was you. And though you speak of whatever vision I had as a child, you didn’t offer comfort to me because you were invested in me as a means to bring change or as the future _Heda_. You did it because you saw _me_. Lexa. Not _Heda_. I felt like myself around you then and I still do. No matter the trappings of Commander—” she gestured at herself, “or the appearances that have to be upheld and the ceremonies and endless attempts to curry favor, you accept me as Lexa. That is a gift, _fisa_. You offered healing to much more than my physical wounds.”

“And you have always seen me as Balta. That is part of your gift as a leader, _Heda_. You understand the nature of the power that comes with your position, but you have never let it define you nor do you forget your origins.” She smiled again and there might have been tears in her eyes. “But now, _Heda_ ,” Balta said softly, “today marks part of your vision coming to pass and I am honored to see this day.”

“You have helped immeasurably. Do not think I am unaware of the true extent of the work that you do quietly with the council, Titus, and Indra to help sway minds and hearts.”

“Which would mean nothing if you were not the leader that you are. Words lose meaning without action to match them.”

A knock at the door sounded.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said.

Indra opened the door but didn’t enter. “ _Heda_ , the council gathers.”

She nodded and caught Balta’s gaze.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_ ,” she said, acknowledging that she was finished fussing over her.

Lexa flashed her a quick smile and moved into the corridor, Balta just behind. Indra fell into step to Lexa’s left, and six guards accompanied them to the lift. As they descended, she donned the demeanor of the Commander, and prepared to conduct the council.

 5 _Ingranronakru…Ouskejon Kru_ : Plainsriders clan…Blue Cliff clan

 

###

Clarke stood toward the middle of the throne room, next to Atlan on one side and Gani on the other. Balta had sent guards to escort her, and she had filed in with the rest of the council, absently noting the looks she got, possibly because of the deep green dress she wore and the matching facepaint. People weren’t used to seeing her like this. She also wore a green and gold vest that picked up the color of her hair, braided into intricate patterns that Balta explained demonstrated the ties between the clans.

Some of the other female clan representatives had also worn dresses, including Gani and Freya, who stood on the other side of Gani. Clarke had opted for the dress when Balta presented it as an option, as something some Grounder women did in accordance with ceremonial traditions. It is a way, Balta said, of demonstrating your power as a woman and also as a clan representative. And so she had let Balta dress her, apply kohl around her eyes then facepaint, and then braid her hair.

The woman who stared back at her from the mirror in her bathroom was miles removed from the woman she had been on the Ark both literally and metaphorically, and the months she’d spent on the ground might have been years, from the shifting emotions in her eyes and the echoes of pain, loss, hardship, but also triumph. In a way, life on the Ark might have prepared her for life on the ground, because she had seen and suffered the brutality borne of scarce resources, and the corruption of power and secrecy. She had learned how politics could be weaponized or not, and how they could be leveraged in ways both good and bad, and she had seen all of that play out on the ground, too.

The ground was a much bigger Ark, with certain hierarchies in play and, until recently, the constant threat from a people whose own Ark was within a mountain, where they, too, had their own internal battles over power and authority. It was a rare person—and Dante did try, for a moment—who went against the tide of public opinion because it was the right thing to do.

Was she that kind of person? Her reflection bore the wounds both physical and spiritual of the choices she had made not only on the ground, but on the Ark. They had come from a good place, from an interest in helping her people, but that didn’t make some of them any less painful. Nor did it guarantee that she wouldn’t make bad choices in the future.

But glancing around this room, at the clan representatives and Lexa’s chair, and thinking about the trajectories her life had taken since her arrival to the ground, she wouldn’t change any of it, because it meant that she ended up here. Here, in a place that felt like home, among a people she never could have imagined months ago, with a woman who made her feel she could do anything, who understood the burdens of leadership and impossible choices, who spoke to her on levels no one else could.

She had entered this space expecting the tension that had accompanied the entrance of _Skaikru_ those weeks ago, but this day there were smiles, soft laughter, and a sense of anticipation. Even though the most problematic clan was seeking entrance into the _kongeda_ , the mood felt almost relaxed and again, Clarke was struck by how different things had been since Nia’s death.

Roan stood near the throne with his guards, and she almost pitied him, because she knew what it felt like to face the kind of scrutiny the council doled out, good mood or not. He wore black trousers and tan shirt, as well as a black cloak that looked more ceremonial than useful. Toward the back of the room were observers, including Abby, who had given her an appreciative nod when she entered.

She relaxed a little in the comfortable glow from the dozens of candles set around the room, though the drapes were half-open, allowing the last of the evening light in. Idle chatting floated to her from various corners of the room, but she thought more about Lexa and the ache that invariably brought.

They hadn’t had as much time together as she wanted since she had returned, so she hadn’t been able to have an extended conversation with her, but she would make the time and she knew that Lexa would, too, if she wanted her to. Movement at the back of the room, near the entrance, silenced the soft murmurs of conversation and Clarke turned with everyone else as Lexa entered, flanked by Indra and Balta and followed by four guards.

Lexa. In full regalia. Clarke’s stomach fluttered. She clearly had a thing for powerful, fierce, armed women. One in particular. She tried not to stare as Lexa mounted the stairs to her chair, sash moving with her steps, her motions somehow both graceful and springwound, but she wasn’t successful. Lexa turned and swept the audience with her gaze before she took her seat, creating a moment of gravitas with nothing more than a pause before she did so. Balta stood to her left, on the floor near the dais, her dress a matching red to Lexa’s sash. She caught Clarke’s eye and gave her a barely discernible nod. Indra stood to Lexa’s right, near Titus. When had he come in? For such a big man, he could be unobtrusive.

“Welcome, _kongedakru_ ,” Lexa said. “Today we gather to consider the petition for entrance from _haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_ , who speaks for the whole of _Azgeda_. Who would present to me the petitioner?”

“ _Heda_ , I will.”

All eyes turned to Atlan and Clarke tried not to look surprised.

“Very well, _Atlan kom Floukru_. Proceed.”

Atlan moved closer to Roan. “ _Kongedakru_ , I stand before you as a fellow council member with whom many of you have served for some years. On this day we have gathered to hear the petition of _haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_ , who seeks to bring _Azgeda_ into the _kongeda_. I stand in welcome of Roan’s petition and thus present him to you and the council.”

Lexa nodded. “ _Haihefa Roan_ ,” she said, “speak.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.” He turned so that he faced the audience. “Many of you know me,” he said, his voice a soft rumble over rough stones. “And some of you knew my father.” He paused. “All of you knew my mother.” His tone was wry and maybe a bit hollow. Grief for Nia would be a difficult matter, given who she was in life. But she had been his mother, and Clarke sympathized with him and the struggles he might have over grieving a mother who was also an enemy.

“But I am here today as my father’s son, and as the _heda_ I hope to be for my people. I see the value in strong alliances, and wish to bring to _Azgeda_ a time to heal and to work with all the clans to create strong ties that will bring prosperity to all, and security in times that we need it.” He paused again. “Some of you in this room know firsthand what recently happened at _Maun-de_ and after. I chose to stand with _Heda_ , against some of my own people, because it is better to stand together against common dangers than to battle each other.”

Clarke glanced at Abby, who was watching Roan. She shifted her gaze to Lexa, to the line of her jaw and the curve of her lips and her facepaint and she thought about how it could evoke either protector or predator, depending on Lexa’s mood and the circumstances.

“I thus wish to formalize _Azgeda_ ’s ties to the _kongeda_ ,” Roan continued, in service not only to my people, but to _Heda_.” He turned and bowed his head at Lexa.

Several council members nodded approvingly.

Lexa waited a beat before speaking again. “Are there those who wish to respond to _haihefa_ Roan’s petition? We will now have an accounting.”

Two council members spoke in quick succession, from clans Clarke wasn’t familiar with, but she knew them as Vespir and Herrod. Both admitted reservations about _Azgeda_ based on past experience, but both had known Roan’s father and were willing to accept the petition, should others do so, as well.

“ _Heda_ , I would speak.”

“ _Sha_ , _Ferris kom Trishana_.”

He nodded at Roan then addressed the council. “I, too, may share the burdens of the past with some of you. _Azgeda_ has not been a friend to many, though I think perhaps that is a reflection of leadership. _Heda_ offered a position in the _kongeda_ to Nia, because _Heda_ recognized unified clans are strong, and she knew that there were those among _Azgeda_ who believed as she did. Nia, however, made other choices.” Murmurs and nods accompanied his statement and Clarke shot a glance at Lexa, but her attention was on Ferris.

“Roan comes to _Heda_ willingly,” he continued. “And he served _Heda_ willingly at _Maun-de_ , because he, too, understands the value of a coalition of clans. _Azgeda_ are a strong people, with an admirable warrior tradition. I find I prefer them as allies rather than enemies.” He offered a wry smile and soft laughs sounded through the room. Lexa’s expression didn’t change but her gaze bored into Clarke’s for a moment and it was almost like a physical touch that left her wanting and needing a lot more, as inappropriate as those thoughts might have been in this situation.

“I thus support Roan’s petition for entry, _Heda_ , because I watched him serve you honorably at _Maun-de_ and after, and he instills loyalty among his followers, which tells me much about his leadership. United as thirteen clans, we are even stronger.”

Again, Clarke’s gaze lingered on Lexa, appreciating her utter command of the room.

“ _Heda_ , I would speak.”

“ _Sha_ , _Gani kom Podakru_.”

She stepped forward. “I, too, carry the weight of the past with regard to _Azgeda_ , but I would point out that the heaviest of those burdens came under Nia, who created division where there should have been none, and sought to betray her people’s interests with the last of the _Maunon_.”

A soft ripple of anticipation seemed to travel through those gathered and Roan might have stiffened slightly as everyone waited for Gani to continue.

She did. “We will never undertand Nia’s reasoning, and it is unfair to assume that all of _Azgeda_ felt as she did. Roan has already demonstrated that he is different, and that he wishes to work with the clans and not against, so I, too, support his petition. We are too long divided and I, for one, think those days should pass.”

Roan’s body language, as controlled as it was, seemed to loosen with relief.

A murmur circulated. Clarke glanced at Abby, then at Lexa. Gani’s words had startled several, since she rarely spoke so unequivocably, but from the expressions on the other council members’ faces, she had said what several might have wanted to.

Lexa nodded and Gani returned to her spot next to Clarke. “Are there others who wish to speak?”

No one did. “Then we will begin.” As she had the last time, when Clarke and Kane entered the _kongeda_ , Lexa stood and Balta ascended the dais and took a position to the right of her chair.

“ _Kongedakru_ ,” Balta said, “We come here this day to welcome a clan into the _kongeda_ , and the continued strength of our alliances. _Haihefa Roan_ , as representative of _Azgeda_ , are you prepared to enter the coalition of clans, and to engage in the responsibilities and duties required?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Will you swear an oath of fealty to _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , in acknowledgement of her authority as Commander of the clans?”

He nodded. “I will.”

The room went silent as he moved forward and went down on one knee.

“ _Haihefa kom Azgeda_ , do you declare your loyalty to _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_?”

He looked up at Balta, then at Lexa. “ _Sha_. _Ai Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda badan Heda Leksa kom Trikru klin_.” 6

“ _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , do you accept this oath from _Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_?”

“ _Sha_. _Ai Heda Leksa kom Trikru teik in Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda badaun_.” 7

“You may rise,” Balta said to him. “ _Haihefa kom Azgeda_ , will you bind your oath with blood?”

“ _Sha_.”

Balta looked at Titus and he descended the dais to the carpet where Roan stood and the same young man Clarke remembered from her own ceremony approached from the entrance carrying a metal bowl.

“ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,”8 Balta intoned. “Blood must join blood. _Haihefa kom Azgeda_ , provide yours.”

Roan drew his knife and sliced across his palm and held his clenched fist over the bowl. From Clarke’s angle, she could just see the drops of blood fall.

“ _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , will you acknowledge the blood of _haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_?”

“ _Sha_.” Lexa descended the dais and stood next to Titus. She drew one of her knives and held it up. “ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,” she said, and all gathered softly repeated the phrase. Clarke glanced around. Everyone she saw watched the ceremony, varying expressions of interest but nothing that might have been trepidation or disapproval. Not even from Hamza, who instead looked every one of his years, shoulders slumped and hands clasped at his waist.

Lexa sliced the heel of her left palm and held it over the bowl and even in the light from the candles and brazier, the drops of her blood looked darker than Roan’s had. She looked over at Abby, who was staring intently at Lexa’s hand and Clarke wondered if she had made a mistake, telling her, because in this light, she might not have realized the difference. Except Lexa then wrapped her hand in a white cloth. That would probably have given it away.

“All gathered,” Lexa said, “blood has joined blood. Through me, the _kongeda_ welcomes _Azgeda_.”

The clans repeated the phrase.

“ _Jus souda glong raun jus_ ,” Titus intoned. “ _Azgeda glong kongeda op_.” 9 He covered the bowl with a light-colored cloth and handed it to the young man who had brought it.

“ _Haihefa kom Azgeda_ , will you now accept the mark of the _kongeda_?” Balta asked.

“ _Sha_.” Roan rolled his left sleeve up and Clarke watched as Titus prepared the brand, as he had when Kane took the mark.

“ _Haihefa Roan_ ,” Balta said, “in accepting the mark of the _kongeda_ , you are accepting the responsibilities and dutes required of a clan to the _kongeda_ and to the other clans. On behalf of _Azgeda_ , will you do this?”

“ _Sha_.”

Titus approached with the iron, and Roan might have been out for a walk, for all the emotion he showed when Titus placed the brand on his forearm then removed it and placed it in a bucket of water.

Lexa nodded and ascended the dais. “ _Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda_ ,” she said, “on behalf of the council of clans, I, _Heda Leksa kom Trikru_ , welcome you to the _kongeda_. We now request that you speak, _haihefa_ , on your own behalf and on the behalf of _Azgeda_.”

Abby caught Clarke’s eye and Clarke smiled reassuringly. This was the part she and Kane had not done at their entrance. Both Balta and Lexa had explained that it was a chance to say whatever you wanted with regard to the _kongeda_ and entrance into it. In the past, a few people had spoken of the long wars between the clans and how tired it made their spirits and how the _kongeda_ offered something different. Others had spoken of the strangeness of Lexa’s vision, but they wished to participate in it because they were tired of suffering at the hands of the Mountain Men. It was whatever your spirit wished to say, another sort of accounting.

Balta had referred to it as something Clarke translated as “tapestry,” because it was an offering of a story or statement that would become part of a larger story, and oral traditions were important to Grounders. Somewhere in the room, Clarke knew, were musicians who would recap the story through songs, and other musicians from other clans would learn the stories, too, and they would spread, like newscasts, maybe, and become part of Grounder history.

Roan gazed out across the audience and glanced down at his arm where Titus had placed the brand. “It has been many, many months since my mother banished me from my homeland,” he said, and Clarke marveled at his ability to somehow speak softly but project his words so that they seemed to fill the space. “Had my father been alive, I do not think she would have done this, and there are days I suspect his death may have contributed to the path she took. I suppose that’s easier than accepting that she carried the capability to create such strife and pain all her life and none of us wished to see it.”

He paused and glanced at the floor. “I did not truly know who my mother was, as she perhaps saw more of my father in me than her, but I do know that she considered _Heda_ a threat, and I now understand why.”

A few in the audience exchanged puzzled expressions.

“My mother saw in _Heda_ a vision of change that she could not grasp. _Heda_ ’s vision requires the courage not only to face enemies, but also allies. It requires the strength to stand alone and to put one’s pride aside in order to bring consensus. It requires an ability to see beyond the present and move past old wounds and new enmities, as _Heda_ did with _Skaikru_ in order to help bring an end to _Maun-de_.”

He turned and looked at Lexa. “My mother did not have the strength of spirit to imagine a coalition as you have,” he said, “let alone enact one. But I believe my father would have, and I am my father’s son.”

Murmurs of approval and nods accompanied his statement.

“And now here we all stand, united for the first time in many years. We will no doubt have our grievances and differences in the coming months and years. But perhaps now we can truly experience unity, without fear of _Maun-de_ , and we can learn who we are without the constant threat and division the _Maunon_ created. I am here because I like _Heda_ ’s vision and I want a better future for my people.” He looked at Lexa again and nodded, signaling that he was done and those gathered in the room nodded and smiled and whispers circulated.

Balta looked at Clarke and gave her another barely visible nod and Clarke forced herself to relax.

“ _Mochof_ , _haihefa_ ,” Lexa said. “And now we must complete the entrance of _Skaikru_ into the _kongeda_ , which we all agreed would be postponed in response to certain pressing events. Now that the events have resolved, in accordance with tradition, _Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , we request that you speak on your own behalf and that of _Skaikru_.”

Gani and Atlan looked at Clarke and flashed quick smiles before she detached herself from the relative safety of the audience and walked toward the dais, feeling the movement of the dress around her feet and every gaze on her. Lexa’s expression was inscrutable but there was warmth in her eyes, and Clarke wondered if others saw it or if she had gotten that good at reading her. She suspected the latter, and she liked that.

At the foot of the dais she stopped and turned toward the council and waited a few moments, until the silence became almost restless.

“I was born miles above the ground on a deathtrap that had once offered us safety and hope,” she began in Trigedasleng, “when _Praimfiya_ brought all its destruction to my ancestors.” She paused. “My people were not originally born of space. They left the ground that their descendants might live, and possibly thrive. They left the ground that their descendants might some day return, when the vessels they lived on had outrun their usefulness and life returned to Earth. They left the ground to survive.”

She glanced at Lexa, then at Abby. “It was a chance they took, because nobody expected anyone to survive _Praimfiya_ on the ground. So there were twelve separate vessels miles above the surface, with people from different parts of the world. We didn’t all speak each other’s languages, but we understood that together, we were stronger than apart, so we fused the vessels into one, each its own clan within a larger whole, working with each other to survive, and planning for the day when we might return to the ground.”

The only sound was Clarke’s voice, as all gathered stared intently at her.

“That day came sooner than we thought, as our resources ran low and our air even lower, faster than we had predicted. Many _Skaikru_ thus sacrificed themselves that others could be granted a few extra days of air to make preparations to return to the ground.”

Abby’s eyes were closed and she looked like she might be in pain. She must have understood that part of what Clarke was saying.

“I was sent to the ground before the great sacrifice, because if the air was not safe to breathe here, either, there was no point to sending others and they would instead meet their fate in the stars.”

She paused again, more to calm her nerves than for effect, but it worked on both counts.

“So I came to the ground, where my ancestors had once walked and lived and loved and died. I had never been outside and what I knew of the ground I learned from books and stories. I had no idea what it was really like, and none of us had any idea that there were people who had survived _Praimfiya_ , and whose descendants continued to survive, who had become proud and fierce warriors. And healers. And merchants. Farmers. Fishermen. Builders. Craftsmen. None of us had any idea of that or that there were others here, who locked themselves away in a mountain and never developed the blood to survive outside. These people within their mountain therefore took from others what they did not have themselves, and caused great pain and suffering to those who did not live among them.”

People nodded, somber.

“None of this I knew.” She had switched back to English and caught Abby’s gaze again. “But I learned. And I brought with me some of the other lessons I learned high above the surface, where our next breaths depended on our fellow clans. United, we were able to survive much longer than we would have apart, because we combined our resources and knowledge to overcome difficulties. And yes, there were times when we weren’t always getting along, but like a family, we argued through it to reach a solution. Or at least a compromise.”

She turned and looked at Lexa.

“ _Heda_ understands this about me, and about _Skaikru_. She also understands that we are still new to the ground, and it will take time for us to find the best way to work with the clans, but she knows that I and many others will do everything in our power to do that.”

Clarke saw the barest hint of a smile at the corner of Lexa’s mouth and she held her gaze for a moment before turning back to the council. “But now that we no longer have a common enemy to face together, we can learn how to proceed. This is why _Skaikru_ joins the _kongeda_. Because we are stronger together with you, the people we did not realize were here, who had defied every prediction about _Praimfiya_. And we join because we believe in _Heda_ and her vision, and we are proud to serve her and the _kongeda_.”

And with that, Clarke turned back to Lexa and kneeled. “ _Ai Klark, Wanheda kom Skaikru_ , _badan Heda Leksa kom Trikru klin_.”

Lexa stood. “ _En ai, Heda Leksa kom Trikru teik in Wanheda kom Skaikru badaun_.”

Approving murmurs sounded from those gathered and Clarke rose.

“ _Kongedakru_ ," Lexa said, "we have heard the statements of _Haihefa Roan_ and _Wanheda_. Are there those among you who wish to address either?" No one spoke and Lexa nodded. “Very well. Our business this night is concluded. If you are so inclined to celebrate, we have made accommodations for that at the guard house.”

Laughter and talking spread throughout the room as people started to filter out. Lexa descended the dais and Clarke’s mouth went dry looking at her.

“Well done, _Wanheda_ ,” she said in a low voice. “I hope to speak with you later.”

“And I you.”

Lexa’s half-smile settled over Clarke, warm and inviting. “Until later, then.” And she moved away, only to be approached by council members and others.

Clarke looked over at Roan, who was speaking to Ferris. She joined them and Ferris smiled down at her.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you for your help,” she said to Roan. “That day in the forest.”

“There was a lot going on,” he said, a flash of wry humor in his eyes that made him likable.

She smiled. “Regardless, _mochof_.”

He nodded. “Perhaps it is I who should thank you, for what you did at _Maun-de_.”

“I had lots of help. Including yours.”

“We do what we must.” He regarded her for a moment. “You speak our language well.”

“I’ve had help with that, too. But there’s always more to learn.”

He nodded again. “There is.”

Herrod approached, his expression unreadable, but he appeared to want to speak with Roan and Ferris.

“Well, thank you, _haihefa_ ,” Clarke said. “I look forward to working with you and _Azgeda_ within the _kongeda_ in the future.” She gave Herrod a slight nod and moved toward the back of the room to where Abby stood, watching.

“Did you understand that?” Clarke asked her.

“Some.”

“I’ll tell you after this.”

Abby didn’t respond right away and instead continued to watch the various conversations. Finally, she spoke. “You look beautiful, honey. But more importantly, you owned this room. The only other person who did that here is Lexa.”

“That goes without saying, where she’s concerned.” She smiled, because she loved how Lexa could do that, how she could walk into a space and make it hers. And most of the time, it wasn’t by physical force. It was simply who she was.

“You have the same gift,” Abby said. “You just don’t use it as much. Though maybe you should.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. Want to come to the guard house?”

“Yes. It’s probably a good idea for the current Chancellor of _Skaikru_ to acknowledge this momentous occasion.” She smiled and Clarke motioned her toward the entrance. Two guards accompanied them from the tower to the guard house, where dozens of people were already gathered around metal firepits, laughing and talking. Makeshift tables had been set up and Clarke smelled cooking meat and she thought about preparations for the festival in the next few days. There would need to be unimaginable amounts of food and drink, and she doubted she would see much of Lexa. Hopefully, she’d have some time each night, but she resigned herself to not even getting that.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” Atlan said as she and Abby approached. “And Chancellor. Please join us.” She handed Clarke a wineskin.

“ _Mochof_.” She squirted some in her mouth. “Oh, this is good. Try this.” She handed it to Abby, who did the same.

“That is _really_ good. Can we perhaps have someone come to Arkadia and teach us how to do this? Or send someone to learn?”

Atlan smiled. “Certainly. Share that one.” She motioned at them to follow her to one of the tables where Gani and Garret were seated.

Clarke glanced at Abby to make sure she was still okay with this, then followed. To her surprise, Abby relaxed into the celebratory atmosphere, and engaged in several conversations. Atlan brought a platter of meat and a couple loaves of bread, nodding at all that it was okay to partake, and Garret provided a couple of waterskins in addition to the wine that were making the rounds around the table. Clarke went easy on the wine, as good as it was, and focused on the meat and bread instead.

Lexa stood near one of the firepits talking to a seemingly never-ending stream of council members and others Clarke didn’t know, but she had positioned herself so she had a relatively uninterrupted line of sight to the tables and Clarke exchanged glances with her a few times, and she enjoyed the little waves of arousal it created, that they shared glances and the secret of their relationship among all these people. She also surreptitiously watched her, indulging the thrill it gave her to see Lexa in Commander regalia.

When Clarke had finished eating she went to stand by one of the firepits as the chill night air settled over her bare shoulders and arms. She stared into the flames, enjoying the sense of camaraderie in the laughter and talking around her and the knowledge that there was nowhere, really, she needed to be and nothing that required her attention. These times were rare, and she savored them.

“ _Heda_ wishes to ensure that you are not cold,” Wash said and he held up a cloak trimmed in fur and draped it over her shoulders.

“ _Mochof_ ,” she said with a smile as she gathered it around her and glanced toward Lexa, who was speaking with Atlan. Balta stood next to Atlan and put her hand on her shoulder and leaned into her and Clarke smiled. She had wondered since she had gotten back if there might be something going on between them, and now she was pretty sure there was.

“You changed more minds today,” Wash said and Clarke focused on him. “You proved again that you are a great leader, even though you are new to the ground.” He handed her a wineskin and she took a drink.

“I’m glad they think so.” She handed the wine back. “I’m just glad we’ve gotten to this point.” She gestured with her head at those gathered. “When we can just talk and not worry about a threat.”

“It is indeed a welcome time.” He stared into the flames for a while. A warrior tossed another piece of wood into the fire and a geyser of sparks floated into the air. “You and _Heda_ are as two pieces of one spirit,” he said softly and Clarke looked at him again. “You have a softer approach—” he flashed a grin, “but you are willing to make the kinds of decisions that _Heda_ does, to protect your people and fulfill your responsibilities. I hope this does not change, and that you and _Heda_ will remain a strong alliance.”

She guessed that he was talking about more than simply politics. “So do I,” she said, and she, too, meant more than simply politics.

He nodded and handed her the wineskin again.

“This is very good. I hope there’s more of it at the festival.”

“Do not worry on that accord. There will be many different kinds.” Someone called his name and he gave her an apologetic look. She held the wine out to him, but he shook his head. “Pass it along, _Wanheda_. For are we not a _kongeda_?” He gave her another smile and hurried over to the group that had summoned him.

No sooner had he left than the warrior who had thrown another log on the fire took his place. He had his own wineskin, so she didn’t offer him any of hers, but she nodded in acknowledgement.

“Does _Wanheda_ have all she needs?” he asked.

She held up the wineskin. “Probably more than I need.”

He looked at her in surprise, then chuckled. He looked like he might be in his mid-twenties and he wore his beard closely-trimmed and his hair pulled back in a pony tail. “Perhaps _Wanheda_ may require company later?” he asked. “Besides the wine.” His meaning, though subtly phrased, was clear and she almost laughed. All the time she’d spent on the ground, all the time in Polis, and this was her first obvious proposition.

Clearly, the rumors about her and Lexa hadn’t reached him. Or maybe they had, but in terms of sex and bonding, maybe it wasn’t considered taboo to approach someone’s lover. She needed to find out how this all worked, but right now, she had to figure out how to politely turn him down without stepping on any cultural land mines.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” came Balta’s voice and Clarke silently thanked her. “The Chancellor will be returning to the tower. Would you like to accompany her?”

“I might,” she said. “But I do need to speak with her regardless.”

The warrior nodded in acknowledgement. “Another time, perhaps,” he said, and moved away.

Balta watched him, then looked back at Clarke, a question in her eyes.

“Yes. That was awkward. Thank you for saving me.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Did he wish to—”

“Yes. And please tell me what the custom is to say no.” She started walking toward where she had last seen Abby.

Balta caught up with her. “The custom is to decline if you are not interested.”

Clarke stopped walking. “So there’s no ritual statement or anything?”

She smiled. “No, _Klark kom Skaikru_. If you do not wish to lie with someone, you merely state it.”

“Good to know.” She started walking again but Balta tugged her to another stop.

“Is that the first time that has happened to you?”

“No. Well, I mean, it is here in Polis, and he knows who I am. Is it normal for people to proposition clan representatives?”

“It’s not uncommon to do so. But what is telling is that it happened at all from someone of another clan than yours.”

“Why?” She held the cloak closed because they were away from the warmth of any fires.

“It means he has accepted you as not so different from himself.”

She frowned. “So…propositioning me means he doesn’t think of me as an outsider?”

“Not necessarily. It means he may still, but he wishes to learn more and also, that he finds you appealing. And he approached you in view of his fellows, which means he was not worried about repercussion.”

Peer pressure. “So that’s good.”

Balta smiled. “It can be.”

“Is it considered okay to approach someone else’s lover like that?”

“It depends. If someone does not wish to have many lovers, then he or she will say that.”

“So nobody cheats on anybody, basically, if all relationships are open?”

“Some are. Some aren’t. If you are bonded to someone, the people within that bond will define how they wish the relationship to work. It does not mean people don’t get hurt or betrayed. But no one thinks ill of someone for approaching someone they find appealing unless that person is aware of specific boundaries of a relationship and does so anyway.” She shrugged. “Some people are comfortable with a primary bond and secondary lovers. Others prefer a primary bondmate—sometimes more than one primary—and no secondary. And others do not ever bond, but have strong relationships with others. What’s important is that you know your own heart in these matters.”

Clarke sighed and took another drink of wine. “That seems completely mature. And what about _Heda_? Does she get propositioned, too?”

Balta laughed. “I have seen it happen, but that is perhaps a question you should ask her, if it interests you.”

“No—that’s…that’s not—I’m not asking _that_. I’m curious about the power dynamics. Is it considered proper for, say, a warrior to approach _Heda_ in that way? Or anybody to approach her?”

“Ah. Many people will not do so, out of respect for her position as _Heda_. But sometimes, in situations like festivals or celebrations, expectations are a bit…lower. Now come. I believe the Chancellor would like to retire.” She smiled and motioned toward a group of people a few dozen paces away that included Lexa and Clarke quickly handed the wineskin to Garret. It was strong wine and she didn’t want to say anything in mixed company she’d regret.

What Clarke thought was going to be only a few minutes more turned into much longer, and involved story-telling, jokes, and shared glances with Lexa that seemed to heat more each time it happened. Roan ended up joining them, and then, finally, people started to peel off one by one and make their way to the tower or the guard house or wherever they needed to be. Lexa had been pulled into another nearby discussion, out of Clarke’s view, and she missed being able to sneak a look at her.

“ _Wanheda_ , I will accompany you and the Chancellor back to the tower,” Balta said. “If that’s amenable.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said. She was tired and her feet felt numb from standing on cold ground as long as she had. She tried to catch Lexa’s eye, but couldn’t without making it obvious, so she started walking with Abby and Balta and four guards. Atlan, Gani, and Ferris came with them, and all said their good nights as the lift deposited them on various floors until only Clarke remained, with one guard. Balta hadn’t gotten on the lift, but she probably had some things to attend to. Clarke actually liked how a subtle shift seemed to have occurred since she had returned, and that she had more leeway to come and go and hadn’t been treated so much as a coddled guest as a working member of the council, like the others. She felt more a part of the tower and the city, more at ease. Like she belonged.

The guards nodded at her as she walked down the corridor to her quarters. Candles had already been lit, and she sighed with relief and took the cloak off and draped it over one of the chairs at the table. Balta would know whose it was and would return it to its owner.

A knock sounded at the door and her heart sped up. “ _Min yu op_.”

Balta entered and Clarke hid her disappointment.

“I thought perhaps you might like some tea,” she said as she took two cups off the tray she carried and poured one full.

“Actually, yes. I would.” Clarke sipped and the warmth of the liquid seemed to spread throughout her body. “Are you joining me?” She motioned at the other cup.

“Not this night.” And she gave her a sly smile.

Clarke laughed.

“I wished also to tell you that what you said today at the council has had quite the effect.”

“Good or bad?”

“Good. Very good. We may not know the full effects for a while, but your words have diminished some barriers. There is still much work to do, but people will remember your words. They will remember that _Skaikru_ , too, has ties to the ground and though you have been away from it for many years, your ancestors may have been among those who survived after _Praimfiya_ , and may have descendants among the clans. It was truly masterful, what you said today.”

She hadn’t really considered that aspect. She had just wanted to emphasize that _Skaikru_ had come from the ground, and weren’t so different than Grounders. And she had hoped to draw a distinction between _Skaikru_ and _Maunon_ , because that would be an issue, she suspected, for a while.

“I’m glad. I just wanted to try to show that we are not so different, ultimately.”

“Indeed. I will take my leave,” Balta said. “ _Reshop_.”

“ _En yu_.”

Balta left and Clarke sank gratefully onto the couch, the cup of tea warm between her hands, thinking about the day. And about Lexa and what they intended to do with regard to relationship expectations, especially since Grounders didn’t get too hung up on sex. But Clarke was a little possessive, especially where Lexa was concerned, and thinking of her with other people made her queasy. She sighed. Lexa didn’t seem the type to have lovers on the side, but the subject would have to be part of the conversation.

If Clarke could ever find the right time to bring it up. She was tired right now and she knew Lexa would be, too. And besides, she wanted to do other things when Lexa showed up. With another sigh, she got up to refill her cup and was on her way back to the couch when another knock sounded. She smiled.

“ _Min yu op_.”

Lexa opened the door, still in her regalia and many lecherous thoughts bounced through Clarke’s brain. “ _Wanheda_ , I hope I am not intruding.”

“Not at all. Join me.” She poured tea into the other cup Balta had left.

Lexa closed the door and approached and Clarke handed her the cup. Lexa sipped, regarding her over the rim.

Clarke waited for her to speak but instead, she took Clarke’s cup and placed both it and hers on the table. The air nearly combusted between them at the expression in Lexa’s eyes, and Clarke knew there wouldn’t be much talking tonight as Lexa pulled her in and unleashed a series of hot, hard kisses on first her lips then her neck and shoulders, conveniently bare in her dress.

Need and want flared at her core and Clarke pressed harder against her, meeting her kiss for kiss, panting into her mouth, pulling her toward the bed but somehow they were against the wall near the balcony doors and her dress was hitched up around her waist and her underwear was down and Lexa’s fingers were—

Clarke groaned and Lexa pushed against her, breathing heavily against her neck.

“ _Yu ste meizen_ ,” Lexa whispered. “ _Ai gaf yu in_.” 10

Chills shot down her spine and she held on to her as best she could, filled with sensation and heat and it was almost embarrassing how fast her orgasm built as it slammed her against the wall and she released in a long, low moan, whispering Lexa’s name. But she had no real chance to revel in it because Lexa withdrew then kissed her hard and slid her tongue into her mouth and she tasted faintly of wine and need and Clarke wanted to kiss her forever, but Lexa moved down to the part of her chest the dress didn’t cover and then lower and her lips teased her nipples through the fabric.

As sexy as Lexa was in her regalia, it was hard for Clarke to hold on to her the way she would have liked. The shoulder guard didn’t allow much purchase on that side, so Clarke gripped her hip instead, though that wasn’t ideal, either. She tried to reach the buckles on Lexa’s coat but her mouth felt so good that she moved her hand to her head instead and held it there.

And then Lexa moved lower and hitched her dress up again and it was a few moments before Clarke realized what was happening, that Lexa was on her knees and she positioned Clarke’s leg over her shoulder guard and with her other hand she held the dress up and—

Clarke gasped when Lexa’s tongue grazed her clit and she entwined her fingers in her hair and thrust against her mouth and she closed her eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by sensation and raw emotion and it was so hot, Lexa in full regalia on her knees working her into a frenzy, until sparks flooded her vision and she couldn’t catch her breath. She shuddered and Lexa moved her tongue just right and again Clarke slammed against the wall, trembling and moaning.

Aftershocks made her jerk and half-sob and she started to collapse but Lexa was there, and she held on to her and Clarke didn’t mind the buckles digging into her chest or the shoulder guard blocking a decent embrace because it was Lexa and Clarke would take her any way she could get her.

“Hi to you, too,” she finally managed and Lexa chuckled, low and throaty.

“There are many things I wish to say to you, about your words today, and how you look—” she ran her thumb lightly along Clarke’s facepaint, “but there are other things I want to do instead.”

“Clearly.” Clarke kissed her, a long, soft, gentle greeting. “But I need better access, _Heda_. _”_ She tugged at the buckles across her chest.

“Mmm. This can be arranged.”

“I’m arranging it right now.” She started to unbuckle Lexa’s shoulder guard.

She smiled. “ _Wanheda_ has decided.”

“And guess what that means?”

Lexa kissed her. “Show me,” she said against her mouth.

Clarke smiled, loving how Lexa’s gaze lingered on her lips then shifted back to her eyes. “Oh, _Heda_ ,” she said, voice husky. “I intend to.”

 

6 _Sha_. _Ai Haihefa Roan kom Azgeda badan Heda Leksa kom Trikru klin_ : Yes. I, king Roan of _Azgeda_ swear fealty to _Heda_ Lexa of _Trikru_  
7 _Sha_. _Ai Heda Leksa kom Trikru teik in haihefa Roan kom Azgeda badaun_ *: Yes. I, _Heda_ Lexa of _Trikru_ accept king Roan of _Azgeda_ ’s oath. [you’ve seen this before, in Chapter 33. But in case you forgot, there doesn’t seem to be a term via Peterson for “oath” so I created the noun “badaun” to mean “oath,” as derived from the verb “badan in,” which means swear loyalty to/serve. “Badan” comes from “bow down.”]  
8 _Jus souda glong raun jus_ : Blood must join blood [you’ve seen it and Balta tells you what it means, too. Heh.]  
9 _Azgeda glong kongeda op_ : _Azgeda_ joins the _kongeda_  
10 _Yu ste meizen_ … _Ai gaf yu in_ : You’re beautiful…I want you

 

###

“ _Heda_.”

Lexa looked at the guard in the doorway to the conference room. “ _Sha_.”

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_ sends for you. She and the Chancellor are contacting Arkadia.”

Lexa glanced at the light filtering through the windows, noting its position. Nearly sundown. “ _Sha_.”

The guard withdrew and Lexa gave Balta and Indra an apologetic glance. “We will soon learn who the new Chancellor of Arkadia is,” she said. “Is there anything that requires my attention right now with regard to the festivities?”

“No, _Heda_. Indra and I will meet with Titus and the other representatives and determine what still needs to be done. All clans are sending warriors to help with security and half have already arrived.”

“Good.” There were barely four days before the festival launched and Lexa still hadn’t had much time with Clarke or even with her regular training regimen, the lack of both making her frustrated and ill-tempered. She pushed back from the table and stood, prompting both Balta and Indra to do so, as well. “Very well. If anyone needs anything further, I’ll be in either my quarters or Clarke’s.” She ignored the smirk Indra exchanged with Balta and paused at the door. “I will speak with you later, Balta, about the results of the election in Arkadia. Most likely, it will not change anything, but the makeup of their council may be slightly different.”

“ _Sha_.”

She stepped into the corridor, glad that she wasn’t in regalia today, and strode to the stairway, two guards falling into line behind her. At least taking the stairs was a physical act, and she took them two at a time up to her floor. And at least she would be near Clarke for a while, and that would help her mood, even with Abby present.

The door to Clarke’s quarters was open and Lexa stepped in. “Clarke.”

“We’re out here,” Clarke said from the balcony and Lexa closed the door and joined them.

“ _Heya_ , _Heda_ ,” Clarke said and there was warm affection in her eyes and it soothed her.

“Clarke. Chancellor,” she said in greeting. “What news?”

“None yet. Clarke gestured with the radio. “Waiting on the call. But I wanted you here before that happened.”

Lexa nodded and forced herself not to pull Clarke into an embrace, which she really needed right now. The sun was already setting and she hoped she’d at least have some time with her before they were both too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

“I spoke with Balta earlier,” Clarke said, “and it sounds like security is under control. Arkadia can send more, if you’d like. They can camp outside the city. I’ve already talked to Kane about that.”

“It would be a good gesture,” Abby added. “Our contribution to security.”

“ _Sha_. If you are willing to do so, and if there is no issue with camping in the common areas, the _kongeda_ would be most appreciative.”

“Good. I’ll tell Kane. If he was elected, he’ll stay in Arkadia and coordinate a celebration there.”

“I’ll remain in Polis throughout and return afterward, if that’s all right with you, _Heda_ ,” Abby said. “And there’s no reason to think he won’t be elected, since I didn’t put my name forward and as far as I know, no one else did, either.”

“It would be helpful,” Lexa said. “There will no doubt be a few injuries and illnesses.”

“There’d better be,” Clarke said with a smile. “Otherwise, it’s not a good party.”

Abby gave her a look and Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Clarke said. “I’m just saying.” And she leaned in and brushed a light kiss over Lexa’s cheek, and as much as Lexa loved it, she froze. Clarke had never done that in front of Abby, and she wasn’t sure how to react.

Abby looked on with amusement and Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand. “I brought tea up. Anybody want any?”

Lexa declined, as did Abby, but Clarke stepped inside anyway, probably to get herself a cup.

“You are certain that Chancellor is not what you wish to do?” Lexa asked, smoothly avoiding discussion about Clarke’s display of affection.

“Completely. I think there are others much better at it. Kane should be fine. But maybe some day Clarke would be interested in the role.”

“In what?” Clarke asked as she reappeared.

Abby shrugged. “Being Chancellor.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Yeah, not really thinking about that. I like my role as representative.”

“Of course you do,” Abby said with a sly little smile and Lexa realized she was teasing them both. Clearly, she and Clarke had come to some kind of understanding.

The radio hissed and then a voice emanated from it.

“Arkadia to Abby.”

It sounded like Raven.

“Yeah, Arkadia. It’s Clarke. Go ahead.”

“Hey, Griff. Good to hear you. So the election count is in and our new Chancellor is…duh duh _duh_ …Kane.”

Clarke smiled and Abby sighed with obvious relief. “Okay. Great news. How did the whole thing go?”

“Everybody loved it, weirdly. I think it’s because there’s a party in a few days and they felt like this could be a new beginning or new era or something. The other council members are Miller’s dad, Jackson, and Terra. But Kane also suggested a member-at-large who can be sort of an ambassador or complaint-hearer. Like that. People liked that idea and Kane said how about writing in an interim at-large person until the next election cycle, when people can formally announce candidacy.”

“And?”

“They liked that, too.”

“So what happened?”

“Gina’s the at-large rep,” Raven said, and Lexa heard pride in her voice.

“That’s great news,” Clarke said. “Is she okay with that?”

“Oh, yeah. Between you and me, she wants to keep an eye on a certain _natrona_ and also wants to develop exchange programs between us and other clans and Polis. If Lexa’s down with that kind of thing.”

Clarke handed the radio to Lexa.

“I am,” she said.

“Oh, hey. Hi, Commander. I’m betting things are crazy busy in Polis right now, but I’ll see you in a few days. I know everybody missed me.”

Lexa smiled. “Indeed.” She handed the radio back to Clarke, who passed it to Abby.

“Raven, it’s Abby.”

“Hey, ex-Chancellor. Hold on. Here’s Kane.” The radio hissed for a moment and then Kane’s voice came through.

“Greetings, all.”

“Congratulations, Chancellor,” Abby said. “How are things there?”

“Good. People are looking forward to the celebration, and the election went well. You’ll be glad to know that you got about a quarter of the votes.”

“I wasn’t running.”

“Write-ins,” he said. “And people were disappointed that you weren’t at least running for council.”

“Maybe that in the future. Right now, there are a lot of other things I need to be doing and Jackson will be just fine as a rep.”

“Regardless, he misses you. We all do.”

Abby nodded. “I miss you, too,” and Lexa knew she was talking about more than just Arkadia. She flicked a glance at Clarke, who caught her eye and gave her a wicked little grin.

“All right,” Kane said, “we’ve got some stuff to do here but before I go, what’s the word about extra people for security there?”

Abby handed the radio to Lexa.

“That would be most amenable, _Markus kom Skaikru_ ,” she said.

“ _Heda_. It’s good to hear from you. We can coordinate in more detail tomorrow evening, same time, if that works.”

“It should. As long as your people don’t mind camping in the common areas. I’m afraid space will be limited in the city.”

“They won’t. I’ll talk with Bellamy and Miller tomorrow and we’ll work from there. How’s Clarke?”

Lexa handed her the radio.

“Fine. And congratulations.”

“When do we get to see you again?”

“It depends. I’ll talk with Lexa and see what’s required once the festival is done.”

“Let me know. Anything we can do, make sure Lexa knows.”

“She does.”

“All right, we’ll talk tomorrow. _Heda_ , can you participate?”

Lexa took the radio. “ _Sha_. Sundown.”

“Excellent. Good night, all. Out.” The radio went silent and Lexa handed it back to Clarke.

“It appears there is much more to celebrate,” she said with a smile.

Abby nodded. “And we’ll soon have a week to do that. Right now, though, I’m going to check in with some of the healers and with Rex and, uh, leave you two alone.” She winked at Clarke. “We’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” Clarke gave her a quick hug and Abby left and as soon as she did, Clarke pulled Lexa into an embrace and Lexa sighed with relief and held her close. Just having her near smoothed the rough edges of her day.

“You’re cranky,” Clarke said and she cupped her cheek with her free hand and kissed her and Lexa’s day got even better.

“How do you know?” she asked when Clarke pulled away.

“Please, Lexa. I can read you like a sign. So here’s what you’re going to do.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“You’re going to go to the guard house and do whatever warriors do when they’re cranky. Then you’re going to come back to your quarters to clean up and eat and then you’re going to let me fret over you.”

Lexa’s heart felt like it was going to burst.

“Balta would approve,” Clarke said as she took Lexa’s hand and walked her to the door.

“And you?”

“I always approve of spending as much time as I possibly can with you. But I also know when you need to take care of yourself. So go. I’ll see you soon.”

Lexa cupped her face and kissed her forehead then slipped out and went to the stairwell. It was comforting that Clarke knew her moods and didn’t judge her for them. It spread warmth throughout her body, that there was someone who cared about her and wanted to spend time with her but understood the facets of her life that needed to be attended to.

At the guard house, she ran through several series of movements with practice swords and staff, outside in the light from nearby portable firepits, the night air more invigorating than enervating. The flow of muscle and motion calmed her mind within minutes, and she had no care beyond the next step. After a few more series of increasingly intricate movements, she stopped, breathing heavily, more relaxed than she’d been all day.

“Do you require a sparring partner, _Heda_?” Val asked from the edge of the practice ground.

Lexa laughed. “ _Sha_. Choose your weapon.”

Val stepped onto the practice ground with a wooden staff and sank into her preparatory stance. She was good with this weapon, and Lexa enjoyed sparring with her for that reason. Tonight was no exception, and they advanced and retreated across the packed earth, an ever-growing crowd on the edges. Val spun and dipped but left an opening on her left side and Lexa moved in, shoved with her hip, and knocked her off-balance. She stepped back so that Val could recover.

“Again,” Lexa said, and Val attacked, using a technique Lexa recognized as one Atlan sometimes used, a motion like an underhanded spear jab. She sidestepped it and engaged from another direction and again, they were back and forth, grunting and shouting, Lexa’s hands vibrating from the force of Val’s hits.

Again, she got the best of Val, who laughed as she stumbled.

“ _Heda_ demonstrates why she is _Heda_.”

“Do not hold back on that account, _plangona_ ,” Lexa said. “I know you are better than this.”

Val grinned, her teeth a white flash in the firelight, and she attacked again, landing a few solid hits on Lexa’s thighs and upper arms before she drove her back toward the edge of the practice ground.

Lexa deflected most of the attacks, dodging and landing her own in a calculated counterattack before Val realized what was happening until she stumbled again, panting.

“ _Jok_ ,”11 Val swore, and then she laughed again.

Lexa lowered her staff. “In some cases, that series of attacks will work. But some opponents will use them against you.”

Val bent over to catch her breath. “And they’ll wear you down. Well done, _Heda_.” She straightened.

A few cheers went up from the impromptu audience.

“Are you planning on competing in some of the contests during the festival?” Val asked.

“Possibly. But I need a few more practice sessions.” She would compete in a few, because people invariably wanted to see _Heda_ engaging in warrior games, to assure themselves that she was worthy of the title.

“If this is you out of practice, then I would hate to face you at full ability.” She extended her hand and Lexa gripped her forearm.

“Well done, _plangona_.”

The audience started to disperse, though Lexa’s guards remained nearby.

“Why are you here this late?” Val asked.

“Clarke may have suggested it.”

Val’s grin was infectious and Lexa smiled, too, sheepish.

“Ah,” Val said. “Nomi does the same with me. If I am…less than pleasant, she sends me to the guard house. Clarke is very wise, _Heda_.”

“She is.” Lexa hefted the staff. Her thighs and arms stung from the blows Val had landed. There would no doubt be bruising, but she had needed the activity.

“She’s good for you. And she takes your advice.”

“What do you mean?”

“She comes to the guard house and practices with her knives. She tells me that you said it clears the mind.”

“And how is she doing?” A twinge of guilt niggled at her, that she hadn’t been working with Clarke in that regard.

“Improving. She works hard, and experiments with the technique you showed her. _Nou get yu daun_ , _Heda_ ,” Val teased. “You would distract her if you joined her too much during her practicing and then she would have a difficult time mastering the throw.”

“Why do you say that?”

“ _Heda_ , surely you are aware of how much Clarke cares about you. It’s far beyond the physical, though I’ve seen how she looks at you, so that is definitely part of her feelings toward you. I find it distracting sometimes to practice if Nomi is near. She has that effect on me still.”

Lexa didn’t respond. She knew Clarke cared about her. She had seen it in her eyes and felt it in the connection between them. And Clarke had stated as much, and said she wanted a relationship, but the issue there was that she hadn’t spoken about how that might work, since _Skaikru_ ways were different than _Kyongedon_. 12

“You know your heart, _Heda_. I think Clarke knows hers. And it is clear that she wishes to work with you in the best interests of the _kongeda_.” She shrugged. “It seems a good match. You told me the same about Nomi.”

“And you didn’t believe me.”

“Not at first. I wasn’t certain I could be with someone who isn’t a warrior, but I found that she understands me on levels much deeper than that.”

“Not all warriors are bonded with other warriors. Sometimes it takes someone who is not to understand more than that.”

“You were right. I believe you are right again. You just haven’t admitted it yet.” She took Lexa’s staff and practice swords. “Rest, _Heda_. There is much work to do over the next few days.”

“ _Mochof_.” She joined her guards and started the walk back to the tower, much more relaxed but also tired. Clarke had told her that she had been propositioned after the _kongeda_ ceremony and though Lexa saw Balta’s point, about how it was indicative of a greater acceptance among the clans for _Skaikru_ , it still bothered her. She felt no anger toward the warrior. Who could blame him? Clarke was physically gorgeous. And confident and fearless and oh, the way she could flirt with just a look or a turn of phrase.

No, Lexa didn’t blame the warrior at all. But what did it mean in terms of their relationship? _Skaikru_ seemed to be more rigid in relationship expectations than the clans, but that didn’t mean individual _Skaikru_ were. And there were those among the clans who also felt a little more proprietary toward those they bonded with.

Lexa was one of those. As much time as she was willing to let Clarke have to figure out what she wanted to do where Lexa was concerned, she was also possessive and she didn’t like the thought of Clarke with anyone else, though she knew she had no right to feel that way. Clarke was her own woman, after all, and entitled to make her own decisions about who she did and didn’t bed.

But the thought of her with someone else caused her to clench her jaws together so tightly it hurt. Anya would have laughed, because Lexa had felt this way about Costia, too. Insecurity, Anya had said then. And maybe it was now, too. She entered the tower and returned the greetings of the warriors and staff she passed then got on the lift.

So maybe she was insecure. Or maybe she preferred a relationship in which there weren’t other lovers. Maybe that’s just how she was. All she knew right now was that she didn’t like the idea of Clarke with other people and she really wanted to find out where Clarke stood in terms of their relationship.

But she also knew she was tired and still a little ill-tempered and that meant it was not a good time to bring up the subject. She stepped off the lift onto her floor, wondering when it would ever be a good time, given all that was happening.

Perhaps after the festival. She went into her quarters. Candles were already lit and in spite of the residue of her mood, she relaxed a little and went to the bathroom, where the tub already had hot water ready. She stripped and sank into it, wincing a little as it hit her bruises, but it felt good on her tired muscles.

“Lexa.”

She opened her eyes. Clarke stood in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing a loose shirt and trousers. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy bun, a few strands hanging along the sides of her face. She was beautiful and Lexa stared.

Clarke smiled. “I’m here to fret over you.”

“I approve.”

“I can tell. Let me do your hair.” She set to work undoing Lexa’s braids as Lexa sat in the bathtub and then she brushed her hair out and washed it, laughing softly as Lexa groaned in pleasure. Clarke’s fingers massaging her scalp was surely one of the world’s greatest things.

After Clarke rinsed her hair she handed her a drying cloth. “When you’re ready, I’ll put some salve on your bruises and then there’s dinner.”

“ _Mochof_.”

Clarke leaned in and kissed her. “I’m a little impatient for more time with you.”

“Noted.”

She gave her a smoldering look and left, though Lexa heard her in the other room and she loved knowing she was there. It felt more like home when she was. After she dried off, Clarke put salve on her bruises as she had promised, then left her to put a loose dark shirt and trousers on from one of her bathroom shelves. After that, Lexa worked some oil through her hair, feeling much better. The warmth of the bath and Clarke’s presence had made her even more relaxed and she padded out to the other room and joined Clarke at the table.

“Better?” Clarke poured her some tea.

“Mmm.”

“I think _Heda_ may need a bit of this.” She held up a wineskin and poured some into an empty cup and handed it to her.

Lexa smiled. “Perhaps.” She sipped and its sweetness filled her mouth. She sighed, almost contented, and took a slice of bread and dipped it into the bowl of stew Clarke set in front of her.

As they ate, Lexa caught Clarke up on preparations for the festival and a few other points of council business.

“So basically, things are moving along and there’s nothing pressing you need to do right now.”

“What I need to do right now is be with you,” Lexa said softly and she took Clarke’s hand and pressed the back of it to her lips.

“I like the way you think.” She leaned close and pulled her into a long, slow kiss. “So how about you go stretch out on the couch and I’ll rub your feet.”

She frowned.

“You’re exhausted,” Clarke said. “And I love being with you even if we’re not doing anything but talking or sleeping or just…being.”

Lexa stared at her, all kinds of words swirling through her brain but none seemed to adequately capture what she felt, so she just nodded and did as Clarke asked and stretched out on the couch.

Clarke joined her and put her feet in her lap and gently rubbed them and Lexa sighed, which made Clarke chuckle.

“Tell me more about the Ark,” Lexa said, eyes barely open.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything.”

“You’re adorable when you’re tired,” Clarke said and Lexa heard the smile in her voice.

“I am _Heda_. I am never adorable.”

Clarke laughed. “You may be _Heda_ , but I’m _Wanheda_ and I see all the different things you think you hide. And right now, you are totally adorable. And I love seeing it on you.”

Lexa’s chest constricted because this moment felt important, even in the context of Clarke’s gentle teasing. Something shifting, opening between them, but she wasn’t sure what exactly it was so she just held Clarke’s gaze with her own and hoped Clarke could see her recognition of it in her eyes.

“There were places on the Ark,” Clarke said, “where you could sit and look out big windows. When I was a little girl, I used to do that, and my dad would join me and point things out on the Earth. Different land masses. Mountains. Oceans. It was beautiful, banded with blue and green and colors darker than that. Clouds covered part of it, and I used to watch them shift and move and I wondered if anyone had managed to survive _Praimfiya_ —we called it nuclear war—and if they did, where were they? Were they human? Or did radiation cause them to become something else?”

She started to rub Lexa’s other foot.

“My friend Wells and I—he was killed after we got to the ground—used to sit and watch, too. He was really creative and he would make up all kinds of stories about what was on the ground.”

“What happened to him?” Lexa asked.

Clarke stopped rubbing for a moment. “There was a girl who came to the ground with us. She killed him because his father was Jaha and Jaha had her parents floated.”

“But Wells had nothing to do with that.”

Clarke started rubbing again. “No. He didn’t. But in her mind, he was connected to what his father did, so she thought killing him would maybe bring her peace. It didn’t, and she killed herself, too.”

Lexa reached for her hand and gently squeezed it. “I can tell he meant a great deal to you.”

“He did. He was my best friend from when we were kids. And he knew that my mom had told Jaha what my dad had discovered that got him floated, but rather than let me hate my mom, he said that he was the one who told Jaha about it.” She sighed. “I hated him the months after my dad died. I hated him on the ground, too, because I still thought he was the one who told Jaha. But he still did his best to protect me. I found out what he did, and though it changed my mind about him, I’m not so sure he did me any favors, taking that burden off my mom, because it made me think she was weak, that she let him do that and wasn’t honest about it.”

Lexa squeezed her hand again.

“Anyway, I used to watch the ground and I knew that some day we were going to try to go back, but I didn’t realize it would be as soon as it was.”

“How is it that you have no siblings?”

“None of us do. Relationships on the Ark were strictly regulated because we just didn’t have enough resources. But we did have to reproduce, so you could apply to have a child. No more than one per couple.”

“But Octavia and Bellamy—”

“Yeah, we’re not entirely sure how that happened, because every woman is on a form of birth control. That’s a form of medicine that prevents pregnancy. Anyway, their mom got pregnant with Octavia and then Bellamy basically became her caretaker. They kept Octavia hidden in a tiny space below the floor. Nobody knew she was there. One child was a law. If you had more than one, you got floated.”

Lexa stared at her. Dying for bearing a child?

“And then Octavia was discovered, and their mom was floated. Bellamy blames himself for that, because he snuck Octavia out to a Unity Day party one day—a costume party—and things went bad.”

“What is Unity Day?”

“When the Ark celebrated the anniversary of the joining of the twelve separate space stations into one.”

“Perhaps we should have a _kongeda_ day.”

Clarke smiled. “Maybe. This celebration could be the first one.” She ran her fingers lightly along Lexa’s foot and it gave her delicious little chills. “This turned into a depressing conversation. Guess that shows you that things were grim on the Ark.”

“What’s a good memory?”

“My dad,” she said, face lighting up. “We had recordings of things that had happened on the ground before _Praimfiya_ , and some were soccer games. That’s a game played with two teams. Each team has eleven players and you have one ball that you kick. You can’t use your hands, but you can use any other part of your body to move the ball toward the other team’s goal, which is a space with a net. You try to get the ball into that goal, which is protected by one of the team’s players.”

“This sounds like a warrior’s game.”

“It kind of is. No weapons, but it’s very physical and there’s strategy, as you try to set up kicks for someone to get the ball into the net, which isn’t very big. Maybe as big as the balcony. Anyway, we would watch these old recordings and cheer for one of the teams, no matter how many times we’d seen the game. He was funny about that, about finding joy in everything.” She was quiet for a moment. “I wish he could have come to the ground.” She took Lexa’s hand. “Things were harder than I realized on the Ark. It took coming to the ground to see that, and I’ve also realized that some _Skaikru_ are the way they are because of how things were on the Ark. It’s going to take a while for them to move past that, and to trust in different processes.”

Lexa nodded and kissed her fingertips. “You will be their guide.”

She smiled. “You have a lot of confidence in me.”

“I am _Heda_. I know things.”

Clarke snorted and moved her feet so she could get up. “Come and have some wine with me before I put you to bed.”

Lexa sighed, stretched, and got up, too, but her mood was much better. Clarke handed her a cup and opened the balcony doors then pulled Lexa gently with her.

“I love watching the city at night,” she said as she leaned on the railing and Lexa silently agreed. She enjoyed the glow of firelight and the distant sound of laughter and the curving bowl of the star-speckled sky above. She stood behind Clarke and pulled her close, arms wrapped around her waist, and decided that if she could stay like this forever, she would.

Clarke leaned back against her and took the cup out of one of Lexa’s hands and sipped. “My mom wants to start an exchange to learn how to make this.”

Lexa laughed. “Of all the things to learn on the ground…”

“Hey, every human culture has a liquor tradition. It’s important. You have to have a reward at the end of a long day of building a civilization.”

“A sense of accomplishment isn’t enough?” Lexa teased.

“Maybe for you, being _Heda_ and all, but for us common folk, a glass of wine at the end of a long day of creating a new world is a great reward.”

“You are far from common,” Lexa said and she nuzzled the back of Clarke’s neck, which earned a soft little noise of approval from her. “There is talk of a good will journey,” Lexa said. “A visit to all the clans. I and the council members.”

“I’m in. When do we leave?”

Lexa laughed and tightened her hold a little. “Most likely after the worst of the winter.”

“Which is when?”

“Soon.”

“What kind of weather?”

“Snow, sometimes. Cold. Rain. Mud, which makes it difficult to travel. It’s not pleasant, but it doesn’t last long. A few weeks, perhaps. We will need to coordinate with the clan leaders.”

“So I’ll be able to meet them.”

“ _Sha_. I think it’s important for the clans to know who the council is, and see us together.”

“I see why you’re _Heda_.”

Lexa smiled and nuzzled the space just behind Clarke’s ear. She felt her shiver and she loved the effect she had on her. “I was thinking again today about your words at the _kongeda_ ceremony.”

“And?”

“You are a much better politician than you give yourself credit for. And you are indeed a rare spirit. I am honored to know you, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , and I am so glad you’re here.” She hugged her closer and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I don’t think I can convey how glad I am.”

Clarke gave Lexa’s forearm a squeeze then gently moved out of her embrace. “There’s something I want to talk about,” she said as she faced her, the glow of the interior candles providing a bit of illumination out here. “I’ve been waiting for the right time, because I know how busy we both are—especially you—and I know how tired you are right now, but I don’t think this can wait any longer.”

Lexa watched her set the cup on the floor, puzzled and a little alarmed because this sounded serious.

Clarke took Lexa’s hands in hers. “I know _Skaikru_ ways aren’t necessarily _Trikru_ ’s, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn yours. After all, we’re on the ground, now, and some of _Skaikru_ ’s ways no longer apply.”

Lexa’s confusion increased, but she kept quiet, taking comfort from the fact that Clarke still held her hands.

“So I’ll just say it. I want to be with you. _Otaim_.”

She stared at her, not sure she had heard her correctly. And then Clarke sank to her knees, still holding Lexa’s hands.

“I swear fealty to you, _Leksa kom Trikru_ ,” she said. “I vow to treat your needs as my own, and your people as my people.”

And Lexa had no idea what to do except keep holding on to Clarke’s hands, a lifeline in an immediate maelstrom of emotions that swirled through her heart and mind. Everything she had ever wanted since the day Clarke walked into her tent and quietly, purposefully, convinced her to join forces was coming to pass and she could barely breathe in this moment, let alone speak.

“No matter what you face, _Leksa kom Trikru_ , I will face it with you. And wherever you are, whatever your circumstances, so long as there is breath in my body and my heart still beats, I will be with you, and wherever you go, no matter the distance, I will find you.”

The words rang in her ears, and immediately calmed her, though her throat tightened and she felt a tear track down her cheek. She pulled Clarke to her feet, barely believing what was happening.

“I’m really hoping that when you swore an oath of fealty to me, it meant the same thing that mine just did,” Clarke said, a worried smile on her lips. “You said I didn’t need to say anything then, and that you hoped it would help me see how important I am to you. Well, you’re that important to me, too, and I’m sorry I didn’t truly understand the significance then. I do now. And I want you in my life, by my side. _Otaim_.”

Lexa searched her face, looking for any sign that this was a dream, that she would wake up and this wasn’t happening, but instead she saw Clarke watching her in the soft light that emanated from inside, hopeful and maybe a little scared. Lexa gently pulled her close and kissed her and Clarke pulled her hands free and cupped her face and held her in place as she deepened the kiss.

“Is that a yes?” she finally asked and Lexa felt her smile against her mouth.

“It’s always been yes,” she said through her tears and Clarke tenderly wiped them off her cheeks. Lexa stared into her eyes. “Are you sure?”

Clarke raised her eyebrows and gave her a look, though it was laced with affection.

“I want you to know your heart, and if you need more time—”

“Lexa.”

“I’ll give you whatever time you need—”

“ _Lexa_.”

She stopped, and another tear coursed down her cheek. Clarke wiped that one away, too, then kissed her again.

“Let me love you,” she said softly.

Her heart stuttered and a fresh round of tears tracked down her cheeks.

“Just…let me love you,” Clarke murmured as she kissed away one of the tears.

“Clarke,” she whispered, but she couldn’t say anything else as more tears gathered in her eyes.

“Shh. It’s okay.” She stroked her cheek. “I know how hard it is for you to trust, and to believe that you’re worth happiness. So I’m going to show you how worth it you are. All you have to do is let me.”

She nodded and Clarke smiled and pulled her into her arms, where Lexa needed to be always, where she was at her most vulnerable and also her strongest, where the boundaries between earth and sky always dissolved in the warmth and safety of their connection.

Lexa didn’t know how long they stood thus, but she would have done it as long as Clarke wanted, as long as Clarke needed her to. It seemed Clarke felt the same way because she burrowed against her with a deep, contented sigh and she was sure her heart was going to explode with all that she was feeling.

“Lexa.”

“Hmm?”

“There’s something else.”

She pulled away slightly so she could look into her eyes.

“I’m…a little possessive.”

She waited.

“I know that _Kyongedon_ have different views than _Skaikru_ , and they’re not as uptight about sex. And that sometimes they have relationships with others outside a primary bond. And even have primary bonds with more than one person.” She paused and Lexa tucked a strand of Clarke’s hair behind her ear, not responding, giving her room to say what she wanted to.

“And that’s fine for others,” she continued, “but it’s not really me.”

Lexa fought a smile of relief as she surmised where Clarke was going.

“The point is, I don’t want to share you.”

She let the smile show. “Good. I don’t wish to be shared nor do I wish to share you.” She shrugged. “I’m a little possessive, as well.”

Clarke kissed her again then pulled away and rested her forehead against Lexa’s, smiling. “Come to bed with me.”

Lexa smiled back, heart full. “ _Otaim_.” And she followed her inside.

 

11 _Jok_ : fuck (used as a curse word)  
12 _Kyongedon_ : Grounders [just a reminder; you’ve seen this one]

 

###

The sun was already up when Clarke opened her eyes and she was disoriented for a moment because it was past first light and Lexa was still asleep, pressed against her, arm around her waist. Clarke loved waking up in her arms, especially like this, skin to skin, and she relaxed. No one had come to fetch the Commander, so all must currently be well.

Her thoughts turned to the night before and her heart sped up and her stomach fluttered and she smiled. It hadn’t been any kind of formal, public ritual, but everything felt different. Deeper. Richer. Solid and assured. She belonged with Lexa and Lexa belonged with her. There was no doubt about that any longer and she loved how it felt, how it was both exciting and comfortable, how it felt like home.

Eventually, others would find out, but that wasn’t as important as establishing it first with Lexa. And she was pretty sure she had heart eyes right now just thinking about it. She’d probably have heart eyes forever about it.

Lexa stirred and pulled her closer.

“It’s past first light,” Clarke said and she squeezed her hand.

“Mmm. Balta has clearly allowed me a brief respite,” Lexa said in her just-woke-up sleepy voice, which Clarke loved. Usually Lexa snapped into full wakefulness but sometimes, when she was allowed the time to sleep in, she would wake up like most other people did.

“How much of a respite?”

“Don’t know,” she said, and Clarke then felt her lips on her shoulder. “Why?”

“Because it might be awkward if I start something with you and you’re needed elsewhere.” Not that she hadn’t started things with her the previous night. More than once.

Lexa chuckled, the sound low and sultry and Clarke decided it was entirely unfair that anyone could be so damn sexy this early. She extricated herself from Lexa’s grip around her waist and rolled over so she could face her.

“Hi.”

Lexa smiled. “Hi,” she said in her too cute sleepy voice, which made Clarke melt. She kissed Clarke’s forehead. “I should have told you,” she said softly, seeming to fully wake up as her expression turned momentarily stricken.

“Told me what?”

“I should have explained the significance of an oath.”

“It was pretty obvious,” she said and she brushed her lips against Lexa’s. “I guessed the importance of what you said, and I’m sorry that we didn’t talk about it more then.”

“There wasn’t time. But I wanted you to have a sense of my true feelings before you went to _Maun-de_. The thought of you going there and not knowing—” she shook her head. “I needed you to know. And no matter what you decided to do where I was concerned, I just needed you to know.”

In case something happened, Clarke finished silently for her. “I’m glad you did.” She ran her fingers along Lexa’s jaw. “Because knowing gave me strength that I’m not sure I would have had otherwise.”

“I should have spoken with you sooner—”

“It’s not like we had much time after that to sort through things.” She kissed her, gentle, then pulled away and grinned. “I’m completely sorted. And if what I’ve learned about Grounder bonding ceremonies is true, I’m pretty sure I agreed to marry you last night.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and she blushed and it was one of the cutest things Clarke had ever seen.

“Is this not _Skaikru_ ’s way?” she asked. “To exchange oaths?”

“It’s one way.” She took Lexa’s hand. “We were more regimented and had to register our bonds with the council. Sometimes a couple might have a public acknowledgement, but it wasn’t necessary. What mattered was each party agreeing to share a bond. Not unlike _Trikru_.” She kissed Lexa’s fingers. “And you’d better think of it that way, _houmon_ ,” she teased.

Her eyes sparked with that predatory but protective expression that made Clarke ache and suddenly Lexa moved and she was on top of her, staring down into her eyes. Clarke went quiet, studying her, drinking her in, hands resting on her bare hips.

“How far we have come,” she said softly, “that _Klark kom Skaikru_ would agree to be my wife.” She leaned in and kissed her, long and deep, her lips soft and delicious, tongue warm and gentle. “ _Sha_ , _Klark,_ _Ai laik yu houmon_ ,”13 she said, lips against hers. “ _Otaim_.” She paused and her expression became serious. “If this is indeed what you wish.”

Clarke melted again. So like Lexa, to give her room, even now. “ _Leksa kom Trikru_ , it is everything I wish,” she said emphatically. “And I know I’m new to the ways of the clans, but this is not a decision I make lightly.” She pressed her fingers to Lexa’s lips to keep her silent. “All that has happened between us—good and bad—it’s made me learn who you are. And somewhere in all the pain and confusion, in all the care and respect you’ve shown me even through the bad times—I realized that I can’t be without you.” She cupped Lexa’s cheek. “I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want to wait. _Ai get ai tombon klin_ , _en_ _ai gaf laik yu houmon in_.” 14

Lexa regarded her for a long moment, warmth and so much else in her eyes. “Then that is the way of things,” she said softly with a smile that made Clarke’s heart pound like she’d been running for miles. And then she silenced further talk with her lips and tongue until Clarke lost herself in every kiss, every caress, and Lexa was slow and tender in her touches, relentless in her ministrations, and in the care that she took, until Clarke’s only coherent thought was how much she wanted this woman, how much she needed her.

Finally she sat up and pulled Clarke into her lap and the expression in her eyes made her tremble in its intensity, made her heart seem to swell and she gasped and gripped Lexa’s shoulders when her fingers slid between her thighs, glided into her heat and coaxed her right to a precipice, but Clarke fought the fall, wanting to keep this feeling as long as she could, this connection that took her breath away but also gave her life.

She stared down into Lexa’s eyes, and saw everything she felt reflected there, saw the warmth and desire, the love and hope, all the things they had already shared, and her throat caught in a sob because it was all so much, so… _everything_ …

“Lexa,” Clarke gasped. “I need—”

“I’m here,” she said. “Let go.”

She dug her fingers harder into Lexa’s shoulders, her solidity safe and comforting, achingly familiar.

“Let go for me, Clarke.”

And she could no longer discern where Lexa ended and she began, and oh, Lexa’s fingers…so deep…moving just right…she gasped and sobbed and every nerve exploded in the roar of a tide that rushed through her, taking her breath with it until she collapsed against Lexa, shaking and crying, overwhelmed and raw, but exactly where she wanted to be.

Lexa’s arms encircled her, warm and strong, and she lowered her to the bed and hugged her close.

“ _Ste ait_ ,” she said softly. “ _Ste ait, niron_. _Ai ste hir_.” 15

Clarke hugged her even tighter at the term of endearment and buried her face in her neck, breathing her in, filling every sense with her, imprinting her across her heart.

They lay like that for a while, until Clarke’s breathing evened out and her tears stopped. She nuzzled Lexa’s throat and nipped it. Lexa made a contented noise and drew patterns on Clarke’s back with her fingertips, and Clarke loved how that felt, the soft graze of her touch across her still-heated skin.

“I kind of want to tell everyone,” Clarke said against her neck.

“As do I.”

Clarke pulled back so she could look at her. “Really?”

“ _Sha_.” She smiled, a little shy.

“Interesting, coming from the extremely private Commander of the clans,” she said with an answering smile. “But it’s okay. I understand why we can’t.”

“A little more patience, _Klark kom Skaikru_. There will be those who guess, but I think it’s best to let things unfold naturally. For now.”

“I agree, but I still want to tell everyone.” She pulled her into another kiss. “I’m not sure about a public ceremony, though,” she said after a while of exploring Lexa’s mouth thoroughly with her own. “Or is that something you want to do?”

Lexa laughed. “If you want a ceremony, it can be as public or private as you’d like. It doesn’t have to involve many people.”

“Oh, I like that, actually.” A small, private ceremony might work. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Mmm.” She pressed her lips to Clarke’s forehead.

Clarke ran her hand down the hard planes of Lexa’s stomach, then along the lines of her thighs, drawing another contented noise out of her.

A knock sounded on the door and Clarke groaned.

“ _Heda_ ,” came Balta’s voice. “ _Dina_.”

“ _Hod op_ ,” Lexa said. She pulled Clarke into another embrace. “We have only just begun this particular conversation,” she said softly, and then she kissed her and Clarke felt it all the way to her toes.

She sighed and watched Lexa get out of bed and the sunlight that poured through the balcony doors moved across her musculature in entirely delicious ways. Lexa pulled her trousers on and put her shirt on then brought Clarke’s clothing from the night before to her, along with another kiss. When Clarke finished dressing, she nodded at Lexa.

“ _Min yu op_ ,” Lexa said and Balta entered.

“ _Moba_ , _Heda_ _en Wanheda_ , but there is much to do today.” She set the tray on the table and poured tea.

“Very well.” Lexa took one of the cups and sipped.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Clarke said to Balta, “for allowing her a little more sleep.”

Balta smiled. “Oh, there was sleep involved?”

Clarke’s blush heated her entire face and she glanced at Lexa, who was also blushing and Clarke cleared her throat and busied herself with slicing bread.

“What are my tasks today?” Lexa asked, saving them both from further teasing.

“Another meeting regarding security. But the council is also involved, so they are Clarke’s tasks, too.”

She looked up from slicing bread.

“There are more warriors arriving from other clans,” Balta said, “and Indra thought you and the council should visit the camping areas outside the city.”

Clarke dipped a piece of bread in the broth Balta had brought and handed it to Lexa.

“And a visit to the market to check on repairs.” Balta poured Clarke a cup of tea. “They’re almost completed.”

“The council will be going to that, too?” Clarke asked.

“As many members as can go. Some may be coordinating with their warriors who have arrived.”

Clarke dipped another slice of bread into the broth and it occurred to her that Balta had brought food and dishes for two, settling into the fact that she and Lexa were a couple as if it had always been that way. She liked it.

“And Titus?” Lexa asked.

“He would like to speak with you once you have assessed the camping areas and the market. Roan has also requested a meeting with you and Atlan and Ferris regarding what is yet needed so that he can send a message to _Azgeda_.”

“That will have to be sooner rather than later. Before I speak with Titus.”

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

Clarke handed Lexa another piece of bread and she took it then leaned in and gave her a quick, affectionate kiss on the cheek, an utterly natural thing to do, but Lexa was generally more guarded with her physical affections around others.

Balta smiled.

“When are we needed?” Lexa asked.

“Soon, _Heda_.”

Lexa nodded and took a sip of tea. “And there is the conversation with Kane at sundown.”

“ _Sha_.”

Lexa sighed. “As much as I appreciate the extra time this morning, it appears we are indeed busy today,” she said to Clarke with an exaggerated pained expression in her eyes.

Clarke chuckled. “ _Yu laik Heda otaim_ ,” she said softly and she slid her arms around her waist. Lexa used her free arm to hold her close as she ate.

Balta’s brow furrowed momentarily and a flash of surprise registered on her features. “If neither of you requires anything further, I shall return soon to retrieve you both. Or shall I stay to ensure there are no…distractions?” She gave them both a sly smile.

Clarke laughed. “No. I was just leaving.” She released Lexa, as much as she hated to, and grabbed another piece of bread and a couple strips of dried meat in one hand and picked up her cup with the other. “See you soon. _Mochof_ , Balta.” She headed for the door.

“Clarke,” Lexa said and Clarke waited. Lexa glanced at Balta then back at her and Clarke grinned and nodded. If anyone should tell Balta about this shift in their relationship, it should be Lexa, who joined her near the door and kissed her, this one soft and tender, but it made Clarke’s insides warm and tingly. Lexa opened the door for her and gave her one of her half-smiles and Clarke forced herself to affect a nonchalant air as she walked the few paces past the guards to her own quarters, as if she and Lexa were simply up late talking and fell asleep. Which was ridiculous, of course. But amusing.

One of the guards opened her door for her, seeing her hands full, and gave her a quick smile and she wondered, then, how many had guessed that she and Lexa were, at the very least, intimately involved.

Who was she kidding? Every guard who served on this floor had to know. She set her food down on the table and started undressing. Warriors were different, though. They didn’t seem to care about people’s personal lives as long as those didn’t interfere with other things.

She went to the bathroom to clean up, thoughts filled with Lexa. It would be difficult today to keep her mind on anything else, especially on how things had changed with just a few simple words between them. That was something else she had come to like about Grounders, was how intent and circumstances could make words so much more powerful. _Skaikru_ , it seemed, filled too many spaces between people with words, but more as deflection than connection.

The Ark kept people apart, she had come to understand, because scarcity drove wedges between them, and caused hypervigilance and an unhealthy surveillance culture. That had come to the ground, but maybe the literal expanse of the ground would cause a metaphorical one, and those who survived at Arkadia could learn to build real connections outside the boundaries of authoritarian regulation that imposed the harshest possible penalties for seemingly small infractions.

Her time on the ground and her contact with the people who occupied it had taught her that yes, life could be harsh, but there was beauty in survival, and love within it, too, and maybe that was why a bond meant as much as it did, because Grounders treasured love and understood how rare it might be. They didn’t take things for granted, and Clarke liked the spaces in her spirit that their perspectives filled. She would always be _Skaikru_ , but she was home with Lexa, and that held more meaning for her than many aspects of the past.

She finished cleaning up and dressed in clean shirt and trousers, and slid her knives into their places on her belt, remembering the first lesson Lexa had given her in that regard. Something changed between them then, too, and she realized that all this time, Lexa had already accepted what was between them, but had also accepted that Clarke had to see it for herself. But if she didn’t, Lexa would have accepted that, too.

Still, Clarke knew there was a connection then. The Mountain had not only tested it, but revealed it, laid it bare and that was why it hurt so much, what happened there the first time. But she had held onto what she felt, and anchored Lexa in her heart as much as she tried to think she hadn’t. She lived and breathed her, even when apart, and somehow found her way back, and discovered that Lexa had been waiting for her to do just that.

“ _Wanheda_ ,” Balta said as she knocked. “Are you ready?”

“ _Sha_.” She smiled as she walked to the door. It didn’t matter how she had found her way back. It just mattered that she had, and here they were, and it was exactly where she wanted and needed to be.

When she opened the door, she was greeted by Balta, but also Lexa behind her, in coat and facepaint, swords on her back but no shoulder guards.

“ _Yu ste odon_?” 16 Lexa asked, and there was a velvety layer of affection beneath the bland professionalism of her tone that matched the warm flash in her eyes when she looked at her. A little less reserve, Clarke thought, in these circumstances, and she liked it. A lot.

“ _Sha_ , _Heda_.”

“ _Os_. Then let us engage in the tasks that Balta has set forth for us this day.”

“Perhaps _Heda_ forgets that she requested the festival,” Balta said, tone mild, but a wicked little smile played on her lips.

“Ah. Of course. Fortunately, planning for such an event will be easier in the years to come.” She shot Balta a look, then flashed a smile at Clarke, the one that promised other things once they were alone, and strode toward the lift, her coat swirling around her boots, swords across her back, the demeanor of the Commander settling onto her shoulders as easily as sunlight.

And Clarke loved every bit of it, loved knowing that even as _Heda_ , she was part of her, wrapped securely around her heart and that whatever came, they would face it together. She stepped onto the lift and stood next to her, not too close but close enough, and reveled in the knowledge that later on, she would have her all to herself again.

 

13 _Sha_ , _Klark,_ _Ai laik yun houmon_ : Yes, Clarke, I am your spouse/wife  
14 _Ai get ai tombon klin_ , _en_ _ai gaf laik yu houmon in_ : I know my heart, and I want to be your spouse/wife  
15 _Ste ait…Ste ait, niron_. _Ai ste hir_ : It’s all right [or okay]. It’s all right, love. I’m here. [you’ve seen these]  
16 _Yu ste odon_? Are you ready? [you’ve seen this one]

 

###

Clarke stood near the guard house and watched as three more wagons pulled up next to it and warriors started checking them, though she had a feeling that people were feeling way too good right now to attempt any kind of attack in Polis.

Still, you never really knew what people were thinking. But the mood that had settled over the city and the camps outside it was celebratory and relieved, and it had been that way since Nia’s death and she suspected that it would continue for a while after the festival.

Which started tomorrow and right now, it seemed everybody in Polis and outside the city was engaging in last-minute preparations. The entire city was festooned with banners of clan insignias and strings of multi-colored squares of cloth that hung between buildings and fluttered in breezes. The market was packed with vendors decorating and stocking their stalls but it was too small a space to contain all who wanted to participate, so Lexa had opened the main street leading to it to vendor activity, and it was now lined with stalls and carts.

What continued to amaze her was how things got done, in a seamless display of civic responsibility. Horse droppings weren’t left for longer than an hour or two in a street, and vendors kept their areas remarkably clean, so she hadn’t seen any build-up of trash and she wondered who was responsible for infrastructure. That was something she would talk with Lexa and the council about, because maybe there were some lessons there for how best to run it. If nothing else, being involved in the preparation for this festival had given her some insights into things Arkadia needed to think about and probably implement.

A subtle shift had occurred, too, in how _Skaikru_ was received. There were more smiles and nods directed toward them, both in and out of the city, and much more engagement on both sides. Clarke suspected there would be far more intimate entanglements than just drinking and talking during the course of this celebration. A good thing, because it meant that perhaps _Skaikru_ had started to cross the boundary from outsider to true clan status.

“Hey.”

She turned as Octavia approached with Lincoln. Both looked like Grounders and Clarke smiled. “Hi. See anything interesting?”

“Nothing beyond the usual,” Octavia said. “ _Skaikru_ camp is running well, but Bellamy’s pretty good about that.”

Clarke looked at Lincoln. “I haven’t been to the camp area for a couple of days. Who’s next to _Skaikru_?”

“ _Podakru_ on one side, _Floukru_ on the other.”

That was a relief. Gani and Atlan, and she had a feeling the two of them had planned that. “So do you remember anything like this party?”

He grinned. “No. This is the biggest one I’ve seen. Bigger than harvest festivals.”

“Maybe Lexa should make it an annual thing. Like Unity Day,” Octavia said.

“I think that would be a good thing,” Clarke said.

Someone hailed Lincoln from near the guard house and he lifted his eyebrows at Octavia. She nodded and he gave her a quick kiss. “See you later, Clarke,” he said and he went over to the group of warriors who had called to him.

“Heart eyes look good on you,” Clarke said.

She smirked. “I don’t think anybody has the kind of heart eyes you do any time Lexa comes up in conversation. So how are things going with that? Haven’t had much time to catch up with you since we got here.”

Clarke didn’t respond right away and Octavia looked at her for a moment and then her eyes widened.

“Did you—”

“Yes.”

Her mouth fell open and Clarke laughed.

“Get it together, Blake. Something might fly in there.”

“Are you serious right now? You and Lexa…?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A couple days ago.”

“And you’re this calm?”

She laughed again. “Everything is so damn busy right now I haven’t had time to really process it. But it feels amazing.”

“Wow. So who else knows?”

“A couple of people close to Lexa.”

“Your mom?”

“No. Not about the bond. I did tell her that I’m very serious about Lexa, though.”

Octavia crossed her arms. “But you haven’t told her you’re basically married, now.”

“No. Lexa and I are being selective about who knows and after a while, we may have a private ceremony.”

“Wow.”

Clarke smirked. “You’re invited. And it’s rare that I make you speechless.”

She laughed. “Yeah. It is. Thanks for the invite. Who else would you want there?”

“Probably my mom and Kane. Lincoln. Raven and Gina. Monty and Harper. Probably Jasper and Lora, if they’re still a thing.”

“I think they will be.” Octavia rolled her eyes.

“Maybe Miller. Sam.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah. He and I had some moments in the mountain the second time.”

“Bellamy?”

Clarke sighed. “I told him to get his shit together when I left Arkadia, that I was tired of being the object of his issues and if he needed to tell me something, then he should just do it.”

“Good for you.”

“Point being, we’re not on the best terms right now.” Though he had been professional and even a little cordial when she talked to him the day before about security.

“But maybe you will be when you decide to have the ceremony.”

“Maybe. If we are, he’s invited.” But for some reason, she wasn’t going to hold her breath on that. “And no, I haven’t told any of those people I just mentioned. Besides you.”

“Understood.”

“Hey, Griff,” came Raven’s voice and both Clarke and Octavia turned as she approached with Gina.

“Hi. Everything good?”

“We were at Camp Party for a while. Everything’s fine. And then I checked in with your mom and Balta. I had some security ideas and Balta approved.”

“Really,” Clarke said, amused.

“I’m not just about blowing shit up. I do engineering, after all, and security of static places is kind of engineering, in a way. I just suggested a different pattern of guard placement.”

Octavia grinned. “I might like you a little more, Reyes.”

“Of course you do. What’s not to like?”

“Don’t answer that, O. Is everything okay, staying with my mom?” Clarke looked from Raven to Gina.

“Yes. She’s way more relaxed now that she’s not Chancellor. By the way, Kane got the wine and meat Lexa sent. Gina, being all official at-large council member, radioed to check in earlier today.”

Lexa had sent it to a rendezvous point the day before. “Monty and Jasper didn’t finish it off before they drove it to the rendezvous?”

“Bellamy was smart. He sent Sam and Harper there.”

Clarke smiled. “Good call. How are things at Arkadia?” she directed the question at Gina.

“Good. I can’t really explain it, but there’s this really good vibe in the air. I was worried that some people might be pissed that Abby wasn’t elected again, but there wasn’t, and people seem satisfied with the council members, especially since they have solid Farm Station rep, now, and people have a lot of respect for Miller’s dad. Plus, everybody likes Jackson.”

“And you,” Octavia said. “It’s kind of sickening, actually, how much people like you,” she said with a characteristic smirk.

“Better use it while you’ve got it,” Gina retorted with a laugh. “The next at-large member might be an asshole.” She looked at Clarke again. “Kane makes sure to talk you up all the time. Lexa, too.”

“Good.” The more political capital both of them accumulated, the better. “I’ll probably go back for a few days before the really bad weather sets in and then come back here. There’s a plan to do a good will tour, and that’ll be the council and Lexa going door-to-door, basically, to the clans.” She raised her eyebrows at Octavia. “Maybe you and Lincoln could join us? As yet another example of _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ collaboration?”

“That’s actually a good idea,” Octavia said.

“So it’s a yes?”

“Unless something else presents itself, I’m sure Lincoln would be interested. Everybody likes him, too, and you should have as many likable people with you for that as possible, to offset your approach,” she teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“A meet-and-greet,” Raven said. “I like it. When?”

“After the worst of the winter weather. Lexa said it’s coming soon and then it’s bad for a few weeks and then it’ll be easy to travel again. Relatively speaking, as we all know, being on the ground now.”

“ _Wanheda_ ,” Val said with a nod and a wave as she walked past with a group of warriors.

Clarke responded in kind.

“Huh. She looks like Lexa,” Raven said.

“Maybe a little.”

“Speaking of, where is the Commander?” Raven shoulder-bumped her.

“Meeting with Indra, last I heard. Then she’s got a bunch of other things to do. I actually have some time off to stand out here with you for a while before I have to check in with my mom and then have dinner with a few council members.” And then Lexa would make it a point to join her later and any number of things could happen. All of them exactly what Clarke wanted. “So what else do I need to know in terms of _Skaikru_?”

“I’ve got that covered,” Gina said. “I’ve checked in with Abby and Balta, too. Bellamy said he’s reporting directly to Indra, but he’ll keep you, me, and Abby in the loop as this proceeds. That way, we can keep Lexa out of mundane stuff unless we absolutely need her.”

She would always need Lexa. Octavia shot her a look and Clarke cleared her throat. “He told me that, too, last time I talked to him. I haven’t talked to him today, though. But you did?”

“Yes. He said he’d check with me first but if it he felt it needed your attention, he’d radio you. Speaking of, do you have your radio?”

Clarke tapped her jacket pocket as Lincoln rejoined them.

“We’re going to walk around a little before heading back to camp,” Octavia said. “Before it gets dark.”

“Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” By the length of the tower’s shadow, evening was near. “I need to check in with my mom and Balta. Do you want to go back to the tower?” she asked Raven and Gina.

“Sure. And can I just say it’s awesome that Abby is letting us crash with her?” Raven didn’t say anything about her bad leg, but Clarke knew she was relieved that she was staying in the city.

“Yeah, well, pretty sure you don’t need to be walking back and forth all the time. And Lexa actually suggested it before I did.”

“I might love her,” Raven said and Gina gave her a look, which made Clarke laugh.

Once back at Abby’s quarters, Raven sank into one of the chairs at the table and put her bad leg up on another. “I’m fine,” she said when Gina started to say something. “Really. Just tired. I mean, look at all the walking I did today. It’s all good.”

“I’ll go find my mom and—do you need anything?” Clarke asked.

“Better yet,” Gina said, “ _I’ll_ go find your mom. Wait here. That way if she comes back before I find her, you’ll be here already.”

“You sure?”

Gina nodded and she leaned down and kissed Raven. “No dancing for a little bit,” To Clarke, she said, “Keep her out of trouble.”

“You _have_ met her, right?” Clarke said with an eyeroll and Gina laughed again and left.

“So, Griff,” Raven said as she massaged her bad leg, “nothing really to report about the stuff Nia was going to use on the water supply. It doesn’t react with water. So Sinclair is sciencing it and we’ll see if Abby has any ideas. It might have been a fake-out on Emerson’s part.”

“Maybe. Lexa and Roan both questioned the people who were involved and they all told the same story. Nia gave each group one of those boxes, and they were all told to dump the liquid into the water access points. Nia either didn’t know what it was or she didn’t tell them, because none of them knew what kind of poison it was.”

“I wonder if it was some kind of toxin developed specifically at Mt. Weather. Those people were involved in a lot of fucked-up medical shit.”

“Well, just take precautions with it. And don’t put it in the ground or anything near Arkadia. If it is some kind of pathogen, we don’t know what it reacts to.”

Raven grinned. “Look at you, speaking science to me. That’s kind of hot.”

“I won’t tell Gina.”

“It’s okay. She thinks you’re hot, too.”

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Speaking of—you’re glowing. And not in any kind of science way.”

She frowned. “What?”

“You heard me. In a certain way.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Did our little Griff finally hit it with Commander Hotness?”

“I cannot believe you just said that.” She tried to sound indignant but she was blushing furiously.

“Well. Guess that answers _that_ question,” Raven said, practically chortling.

Clarke debated what more to say and her silence just made Raven laugh harder.

“Sit down, Griff. Tell me _all_ about it. Before your mom gets here.”

Clarke half-laughed at that but she did take a seat at the table. “Okay. Fine. The thing is, you were right.”

“Of course I was. Um, about what, specifically? Spare me no detail.”

“I’m in love with her.”

That shut her up. She stared.

“And rather than have you tease me about it all the time, here it is. I’m in love with her. I have been for a while, and we’ve been serious since before the mountain the second time and formally together since right after that.” At least that’s how Clarke looked at it.

“Damn, Griff. Just…damn.”

“And yes, it _is_ serious.”

Raven sat back, expression still dumbstruck. “Please tell me she feels the same about you.”

She grinned. “Yes.” Oh, yes. So much yes.

“This…is amazing. Shit, does your mom know?”

“That we’re serious? Yes. I don’t really go into more detail than that with her.”

She ran a hand through her hair. “Wait. You were serious before the mountain the second time?”

“We were headed to serious. I had a lot to unload, and Lexa listened. And I listened to her. I can’t really explain it, but there’s something between us, and there has been for a while. Maybe since we met. And the more time I spent with her, the more I realized what I was actually feeling.”

“I cannot believe I’m hearing this. I was just hoping you’d have some fun and here you go totally falling for her.”

“Yep. I did. Totally.”

“So who else knows?”

“Not many. Because she’s the Commander and I’m from _Skaikru_ , we’re being careful. This is new ground in a lot of ways for the clans, though it’s not completely unknown for a Commander to have a serious relationship. The problem might be the clan I’m from.”

“Gotcha. So this needs to stay quiet.”

“Yes. For a while. There are people who probably suspect, but we’re not making a big deal out of it, so chances are, they won’t, either. That’s the thought, anyway.” She shrugged.

Raven smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

Clarke waited for the punchline.

“Really. And don’t worry.” She made a zipping motion over her lips with her fingers.

She relaxed. “Thanks.” She started to say something more but Abby appeared in the doorway and Clarke gave Raven’s arm a quick squeeze. “Talk to you later.”

“Definitely.”

She stepped into the corridor with Abby. After talking briefly with her, Balta showed up and accompanied her to the small conference room where she joined Atlan, Ferris, Garret, and Herrod for dinner. Clarke suspected that Atlan had chosen Herrod because he and Clarke hadn’t interacted much outside brief encounters in council meetings and Herrod was one of those who had been a little wary about Roan.

Grounder politics could be subtle but also strangely transparent. It wasn’t as if she and Herrod weren’t aware of why they had both been invited to this dinner, but rather than be resentful of it, Herrod seemed to appreciate the opportunity to talk to her more because even though the whole thing was kind of a set-up to get them in a situation like this, neither of them had to do the work or make the approach, which might have caused others to wonder what the two of them were planning. The council was also a political arena, and how conversations were arranged, conducted, and under what circumstances could affect relationships between clans.

Herrod turned out to have a sly sense of humor, which hadn’t been initially apparent because he tended to watch more than engage, and came across a little aloof, like Titus. He looked to be a little older than Garret, which put him maybe in his mid-thirties or possibly older. Like _Trikru_ , Plainsrider Clan tattooed their faces, but in very different ways. _Trikru_ tended to favor claw-like geometric designs while _Ingranrona_ preferred straight lines in horizontal or vertical patterns.

Five thick black vertical lines started just below Herrod’s hairline and dropped to just above his eyebrows, with the center line ending just above the bridge of his nose. He and other men of his clan also tended to keep their beards short and cut into designs. Herrod had cut his into swirls on either side of his jaw that might have mimicked stylistic waves, and in the center of his chin he had trimmed an outline of the _Ingranrona_ clan symbol, which looked a little like a capital letter “T” though with a few added prongs.

By the end of dinner, she had made him laugh several times and he expressed enthusiasm for her to visit his people with the council once the winter’s weather had ended. He also expressed great enthusiasm for Lexa and how she approached leadership, much to Clarke’s relief. More political capital, and from Atlan’s expression, the dinner had accomplished what it was supposed to. They all stood to leave but Clarke lingered after the others had left, sensing Atlan wanted to speak to her.

“ _Mochof_ ,” Atlan said. “I am pleased that you accepted my invitation to join us.”

“Of course.”

“ _Ingranrona_ tend to stay on the periphery of clan and _kongeda_ politics, but they have been allies to _Heda_ since she Ascended, because she requested meetings with them as well as other clans. The previous Commander was not as engaged with clans beyond his own.”

“ _Heda_ has been doing things differently since she started," Clarke said.

“ _Sha_. It did not sit well with some. It still doesn’t, but I certainly don’t recall a time when a Commander received such approval as she has right now. Much of that is because of you.”

“Maybe some of it. _Heda_ is capable of handling things on her own.”

“Perhaps,” Atlan said, “but you were the one who came to her and suggested an alliance against _Maun-de_.”

“She might have tried to ally with _Skaikru_ regardless.”

“Possibly. But without someone like you among _Skaikru_ to hear her out, I’m not certain _Maun-de_ would have been defeated.”

“Good thing we don’t have to find out,” she said. “And at some point, I need to sit down with you and _Heda_ and Balta and get the history of the Commanders. And the history of _Kyongedon_.”

“An excellent idea.”

“Before any kind of official visits to the clans,” Clarke said with a laugh. “I need to learn this and so does _Skaikru_.” Maybe some from Arkadia would help write it down, too. And she might even illustrate it as a project.

“I will speak with Balta.”

“Good. I’ll talk to _Heda_.”

Atlan gave her an “of course you will” smile. “Go,” she said. “Once the festival starts tomorrow, there won’t be much time to…rest.” Her tone was neutral, but her expression was amused.

“The same to you,” Clarke said, hoping she didn’t have obvious heart eyes. Though lately, it had become the norm with her.

Atlan laughed and followed her into the corridor. Clarke took the stairs, a guard with her, up to her floor. He joined the others in the hallway and Clarke left her door ajar, a signal to Lexa to just come in when she arrived. And though the night was chilly, she wrapped in a fur and went outside onto the balcony and listened to the pre-celebration partying that echoed across the city. Beyond the walls the lights of many fires—dozens and dozens—flickered from the camping areas and somewhere a raucous chorus of voices was attempting to sing what might have been a decent tune.

Finally, they figured out the rhythm and Clarke hummed along, thinking about all the things that had changed since she came to the ground. Even the ghosts from the mountain visited only infrequently these days, and it didn’t feel like she was purposely avoiding them. Rather, she had found a place where she belonged, and accepting that helped her accept the bad, too, and mitigated its power over her. Was that what Lexa meant, about shifting the weight of her wounds?

The door to the balcony opened and Lexa stepped outside, no longer wearing the trappings of Commander though even without them and without her hair braided into its patterns, she still exuded the aura of _Heda_. But underneath that, and in these moments she shared with Clarke, she was all Lexa.

“Hey,” Clarke said and she pulled her close and draped the fur around her, too. She had fortunately chosen one of the larger ones.

“ _Heya_.” Lexa smiled and kissed her, lips warm and soft, maybe a little greedy.

“Mmm. Keep that up, _Fanasheda_ , and I might spend the night with you.”

“ ‘Might’?” Lexa nipped Clarke’s bottom lip and ran her hands down her back to her ass.

Clarke laughed. “You make a good point. So what news, before you distract me even more?”

“Very well,” she said with an exaggerated sigh. “Niylah would be honored to see you.”

“She’s here?”

“ _Sha_. She is in the market place, north side. Zander is with her and he also asked about you.”

“Good. I’ve been wanting to see them both. I finished the painting I did of them.”

“An excellent gift.” Lexa ran her thumb along Clarke’s jaw. “And how was dinner?”

“You, _Heda_ , have impressed Herrod quite a bit. He told me about the first visit you made to _Ingranrona_ after you Ascended and that’s when he knew things were going to be different with you as _Heda_.”

Lexa nodded, thoughtful. “He is wary of _Azgeda_ , and perhaps a little of _Skaikru_. Though Atlan tells me you made him laugh several times tonight.”

“I think the tower news system might be faster than the tech we had on the Ark.”

She chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Herrod sees far more than one might think. He is a valuable ally.”

“I figured. So I told him how helpful Roan had been at _Maun-de_ and also how he helped me and your forces against Nia the day in the clearing.” She rested her hands on Lexa’s hips. “He may not completely trust _Azgeda_ , but I think he trusts you and maybe me, to a certain degree.”

“You are indeed a far better politician than you know. It will take time for him, though he is at least willing to listen. And it’s very hard to get him to laugh.”

“I’m just that charming,” she said with a quick grin, the one she knew had a certain effect on Lexa. It worked. The expression in Lexa’s eyes heated immediately, apparent even in the dim light from the interior.

“You speak truth.” She kissed her again and the way she moved her mouth set fires at Clarke’s core. “And what of your day?” she asked, though a dangerous glint hovered in her eyes, the one that Clarke knew guaranteed much, much more.

“ _Skaikru_ is settled in at camp, and Raven and Gina are here in the tower with my mom. Thanks for suggesting that. I know space is at a premium right now.”

“It can be taxing, the walk from outside the city to the market and the tower.”

“Raven would never ask.”

“I know.”

Clarke rested her head against Lexa’s shoulder. “I told her about us today.”

Lexa’s hands stopped moving on her back.

“Not that we’re bonded. Just that we’re together. She already suspected and she’s been pushing me to…um…” She looked into Lexa’s eyes and gave her another of her smiles. “ _Ses yu op_.” 17

Lexa stared at her.

“Not that I disagreed, of course.”

She grinned. “I don’t disagree, either.”

“I thought you wouldn’t.” She brushed her lips against Lexa’s. “She picked up on certain things,” she said with a shrug. “And I decided to end her speculation.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“She’s happy for us. And good at managing information. I also told Octavia that we’re bonded.”

“And?”

“She expected it, since she knew about us and I asked her those questions about bonding ceremonies back at Arkadia. She’s happy for us, too. In her Octavia way.”

Lexa chuckled. “Perhaps she and Lincoln…?”

“She said they’ve talked about it. I hope they do.”

“They seem a good match.”

Clarke made an affirmative noise and hugged Lexa closer—as if it was possible—and closed her eyes, acutely aware of every point of contact between them and the warm, strong physicality of Lexa’s body. “Is everything ready for tomorrow?” she asked, lips close to Lexa’s neck.

“As much as it can be. All we can do is put a framework in place. We have to be flexible in these situations, and adjust as necessary.”

She smiled. “You sound like you’re planning battle strategy.”

“The situations aren’t necessarily that different. One involves weapons. The other wine. Both come with their own dangers.”

Clarke laughed. “ _Heda_ makes jokes. Does the council know she is capable of such?”

“It’s a closely guarded secret,” she said, tone teasing.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Somewhere below and close to the tower music with what sounded like stringed instruments and a drum started. “I think this party is already started.”

“Good. It means people are comfortable and happy and looking forward to it.”

Clarke turned her head so she could look out over the city but still remain in Lexa’s arms and she breathed her in and thought about the day so many weeks ago that Lexa had greeted her in the clearing after routing Nia’s warriors. She had smelled like rain and woodsmoke and hope, and as angry and hurt as Clarke still was then, all she wanted to do was what she was doing now, and lose herself in Lexa’s embrace. She had hated it then, how her heart refused to listen to her head, and instead opened, little by little, to let Lexa in.

“ _Yu ste ait_?” Lexa asked, voice soft.

“ _Sha_. Just thinking.”

Lexa didn’t respond, giving her space, as she always did, to continue or not.

“About that day you showed up and stopped Nia’s warriors from taking me.” She looked at her.

Still, Lexa stayed quiet.

“I was so pissed at you,” she said with a smile and Lexa chuckled.

“I know. With good reason.”

“I was so pissed, but I also wanted to fucking hug you. You have no idea how bad I wanted that, but I knew if I did then I would hate you and myself even more. I needed to be around you and see who you were after the mountain, see if I was right, that underneath what happened, you still cared.” She paused. “I think I knew you did in that damn clearing, but I needed more time. I’m stubborn, after all.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, but she held her gaze.

“And I realized this whole time—almost the entire damn time I’ve known you—my heart had already decided.” She caressed Lexa’s cheek. “It picked you. It just needed my head to catch up.” She brushed her lips over Lexa’s. “And it did. The night you told me you would have brought me to Polis to protect me, even if it meant that I would hate you—that’s when I stopped fighting my heart.”

Lexa covered Clarke’s hand where it rested on her cheek and moved it so she could kiss her fingers.

Clarke gently pulled her hand free and brushed her thumb over Lexa’s lips then tracked the line of her jaw with her fingertips. “ _Ai hod yu in_ , _Leksa kom Trikru_ ,”18 she said, and it was like the air stilled between them and the city below held its breath as Lexa stared at her, then leaned in, achingly slow, as if she was savoring time itself, and kissed her.

And when Lexa finally pulled away, the expression in her eyes took Clarke’s breath away.

“It has always been you, _Klark kom Skaikru_. _Ai don hod yu in kom stoda._ ”19 She kissed her again. “Perhaps even before the beginning.” She cupped her face. “Your heart speaks to mine, _niron_. It has guided me to you, always.” Her smile was achingly tender and Clarke’s eyes swam with tears. Lexa brushed her lips over the tip of her nose. “And that, _Wanheda_ , is the way of things,” she whispered before she kissed her again, her lips a promise and a homecoming and Clarke had thought she couldn’t fall any harder for her.

She was wrong.

Oh, so wrong.

And so glad she was.

Lexa held her close, the warmth and solidity of her body seeping into her, melding the two of them together, it seemed, beneath the fur, the night air a reminder on her exposed skin that yes, she really was here, on this balcony washed in candlelight, wrapped in the arms of the Commander.

“How much sleep do you need?” Clarke asked as she nuzzled Lexa’s neck. “Since tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”

“Mmm. Is _Wanheda_ fretting over me again?” she teased.

“Hell, no. I am, however, giving you a chance to set a limit on the things I plan to do to you tonight.” She nipped the underside of Lexa’s jaw.

“And if I say there are no limits?”

“Then you will be very, very tired tomorrow.”

Lexa flashed her that damn sultry smile. “I’ll take my chances.” She tipped Clarke’s chin up with her fingertip. “It’s worth it.”

Clarke returned the smile. “Oh, _Heda_. We’re just getting started.”

“As I hoped,” Lexa said and the expression in her eyes indicated that both of them would probably be up way too late and both would suffer tomorrow for it.

But she didn’t care. She laughed and extricated herself from the fur and led Lexa inside, to the start of a new journey. And she knew that whatever it held—whatever its threats, whatever its burdens—Lexa would face it with her.

And _that_ was definitely the way of things.

 

_fin_

for now...

  
17 _Ses yu op_ : sleep with you/have sex with you [you’ve seen this once before]  
18 _Ai hod yu in_ : I love you  
19 _Ai don hod yu in kom stoda_ : I have loved you from the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...DONE, friends! I had way too many Clexa feels writing this last HUGE FREAKING chapter (wait...is it even possible to have too many Clexa feels? I THINK NOT).
> 
> THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU, for accompanying me on this journey. It's been over a year, and I appreciate your willingness to hang out with me. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it, because I HAD A BLAST.
> 
> I will most likely be continuing this in other stories -- as I've been saying in other notes, I've left some plotlines open for just that purpose. And I'll be doing some AU Clexa in the future, too. I have an AU romcom planned and maybe some Lexark, too. Cuz I love post-apocalyptic cray. But right now, I have to finish up some other projects for publication. That said, you can find me on [TWITTER](http://www.twitter.com/andimarquette) and [TUMBLR](http://www.andimarquette.tumblr.com) if you have questions or want to chat or whatever. AND I will be at ClexaCon in April running around podcasting and talking to people and possibly moderating a couple of panels. It would be great to meet some of you!
> 
> And, finally, I listened to some happy/chill music during this chapter. Duck House, "Get Free"; Flor, "Unsaid"; Stanaj and NOTD, "Romantic" (NOTD remix); KOLAJ, "The Touch"; Anna of the North, "Lovers"
> 
> Thank you all again. Oso gonplei nou ste odon.


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